Let me be blunt, I'm looking for my wife.We all know that quiet/shy, smart gal from high school. That's her, I need to know where she gangs out.I have a stable engineering job and I'm serious, would never just use a woman.Ask me anything about her or myself if you want to know more.
>>21656559that's a tranny
>>21656920I just googled shy brunette or something like that, I hope that's not the case.>>21656891I know you are probably right, but there must be a way. If we are so alike, she must sometimes feel like finding him, wouldn't she?
>>21656971NoIt never happensThese things are being healthy normal peopleOutliers like us are destined for nothingness
>>21656971>she must sometimes feel like finding himShe does but you're not him
>>21657191If we are alike, I'm.>>21657186T_T
So I'm working on a case at some kind of law clinic with a friend of mine. I recently applied to work there and my friend has been working there for a longer period of time. He asked the 'directors' of the law clinic if we could work on cases together but it seems like he is really annoying to work with. I asked him a simple question about the work procedure a few days ago and I got no answer. We share some group chats, and I saw him sending messages in the groupschat which kind of annoyed me, so I double texted just before a lecture to 'force' him to reply.Now I asked him something again a few hours ago, and I saw him text something in another groupschat again. I've had to have a debate with him the previous academic year, and he also did ghost me when our topic got rejected and I had to send a frustrated text again to make him reply just before the deadline.What is the best way to approach this /adv/? He is a nice person in real life, and we often take the same train back home after lectures, so I'd like to keep him as a friend, but at the same time I'm kind of getting really frustrated as he could just reply anything back and I'd be okay with it, instead of seeing that he said something in a groupschat, meaning he did check his messages.
>>21657010Also, should I just continue with the work without him? It's kind of hard to coordinate any work without him replying to my messages.
>>21657010Keep working with the dude and add more workload, the extra workload being with other people. Don't say "I'm done working with you" or anything hostile like that unless they're being actively hostile towards you and you've exhausted your options. You're not at that point though, I mean specifically if they're in your face about your behavior and you can't get them to calm down. At some point you might just not do more work with him. Don't say "goodbye" or anything, just move on. And you guys can still be friends and work together of course, I don't think things have to change at all. You just work with other people in addition to working with him.
>>21657047The work is done in duos though, so there's not really work with other people, can I just ask one of the directors to not pair up with him though? I think he might've asked to be paired up with him in the future.It's not really that I'm angry or anything, I'm more frustrated that he could just reply that he would look later at it and I'd be okay with it
>>21657068>The work is done in duos though, so there's not really work with other people,I'm getting the sense that you haven't realized this is literally your life and you can do whatever you feel is right, and society only has so many levers and so much energy and willpower to stop you. Some of the greatest minds in history ignored artificial rules and focused on what's important. Maybe you can serve as a third on another project, "because fuck you I want to and it's not hurting anything, expel me bitch", or you can do your own projects, or whatever the fuck you actually want to doMy workplace was shit and people were unhappy so I said fuck it, I went to the CEO with a plan to make the operation happier and more productive, and used the CEO's good word to destroy my bosses' stranglehold on the operation, literally "because fuck you I'm going to make things better without you", and retention/productivity are both well up
>>21657103Thank you anon, I'll try to adjust to this kind of mindset
God damn it bros. How to I become unclingy with women?! I seem to always put way too much effort into relationships and always fill myself with thoughts of self doubt and compulsiveness and tend to put up with bullshit for the sake of keeping the relationship afloat, when I know it's not going anywhere anyways, and when I know other guys wouldn't put up with that. One of my first few relationships were with girls that were extremely clingy so if we weren't at work or doing school, we would always be together. I see that I can subconsciously try to mirror those relationship to the others after. And every relationship I've had has been incredibly toxic. I just can't seem to get out of this hellish cycle. I try my hardest to ignore beta tendencies to improve myself and the relationships I get in, but it's sometimes impossible, due to me being consumed with worst case scenario thoughts, as I do with most aspects in my life. I'm ok with myself as a person and know that I only have a few good alpha qualities. But I get incredibly anxious when having a confrontation or when on a date with a girl and usually freeze or blank when very chaotic thoughts occur. My dad was almost never around and when he was, he never taught me how to act or feel like a man. I'm beyond tired feeling this way and need a way out of this mindset. Please give me notes.
Learn about codependency and overcome it
Only had one ex so my life revolved around her just like yours does anon.It was the breakup that fucked me up. I realized i was a pathetic snivelling mess trying to get back with her and after some introspection i realized it was disgusting. So i started fucking working out, first to cope and bascially prove i can get the upper hand on pussy. Eventually it became an amazing self confidence booster that let me focus on putting myself first.
Man's only weakness is women
>>21656240And yet, we are both each other’s greatest strength.
>>21655046Ah. I thought you were the OP who made a thread about his first time with this exact picture.I wonder if he got through what he said he would.
Reality is often disappointing.
Baby I love you lots but I'm at work, I'm already behind please STOP asking me about family plans especially with my side of the family. I CAN talk to my side of the clan it's fine LET ME FOCUS ON WORK SO I CAN CONTINUE TO PAY THE BILLS. I WILL DEAL WITH THIS LATER ITS TIME FOR ME TO WORK. also please stop sending me texts when I'm shitting. Im literally in the same house if it can wait just let me rock a shit we will be fine
>>21656999Bro you where on /adv/ yesterday and I literally told you it was a big red flag open your fucking eyes and stop looking for (you)'s
I can't wait until I have a torture play thing that I can cut up and have bleed out and die
i'm scared of the tech dystopia we are plunging in to, and i'm ashamed that i am an active participant.
>>21657087Poor baby can't talk honest criticism.
Okay /adv/, what does this mean:Be at party, girl I like is also there, we were doing the dancing and the drinking bit, at some point I probably do something autistic and mildly entertaining that I don't remember and she says "anon, this is why I love you"Is this a hard friendzone? Does it mean something more positive? What does it all mean /adv/?
I feel like the reason why I've never had a romantic relationship is because of my race (Arab). Men have always chosen women of other races over me. And no one ever talks about women of my race but men are always talking about the amazing physical features of women of other races. I look pretty ugly and I don't have any good body parts. I simply can't compete.How do I stop hating myself?
>>21657188Assumed so. It is not just about your race, the political situation matters a bit. And ignore what arab guys say, they are going for the different of what they are used to.Also, you name doesnt start with an N by any chance?
>>21657194No it doesn't.
>>21657108I absolutely adore Arab women. Arabs are a significant minority where I live (probably around 25-35%) but the vast majority of Arab women only go for Arab men, while Arab men go just as often if not more often for non-Arab women. It makes me sad considering I pop literal boners out of nowhere when I see some of the hottest Arab women here. I'd easily MARRY you unless you're literally obese (being chubby is fine and may even be hot) and/or have a face that looks like an ugly man's, I mean a 4/10 Arab woman is equivalent to like a 6/10 or 7/10 woman of the ethnic majority here most of the time!
>>21657108>I look pretty ugly and I don't have any good body partsThis is the reason, not your race. Arab women are talked about infrequently because they are usually not available to most single men in the world. When arab men are talking about foreign women, they're describing girls that represent less than 10% of the race they dream about.Don't let race bs get into your head, but obviously you're going to have a hard time getting anything but the most desperate men. Of course, being a woman means you will always be able to pass on your genes if you so choose to. Maybe buy some of that nordic sperm that the rich brazilian lesbians like so much.
>>21657199Good, i thought she was Indian anyway. Back to the topic at hand.The way to stop hating yourself is simple. Find something you are not terrible at and do it.And maybe go to a dermatologist for skin care, dentist to fix your teeth, who does your hair? I mean these physical shit actually doesnt matter. Just be happy withnyour core self first, you can fix the packaging.
My wife and I just got into a minor argument, and she hit me really hard across the head, knocking off my glasses, and making me hear ringing in my ear for a few seconds. She can't even give a fucking proper apology, going immediately into "BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE..." as soon as she chokes out a sorry (only after being prompted). She has hit me like this periodically over the years. Is this normal? I would never hit her btw.
>>21656894>>21656911Your wife is a retard and thinks that hitting you will make her get her way or win an argument. The fact that she continues to do it shows that it works, which is evident by her justifying her actions. The only way to correct this is to beat the snot out of her the next time she lays a finger on you. She might reconsider getting physical when she realizes you are capable of retaliation when something is taken too far.It worked with my gf when she continually tried getting physical with me, I basically pinned her down and made her feel helpless as she was struggling below me. The reality of the situation, that I could knock her the fuck out if I wanted set her straight and we no longer have any physical altercations.
>>21656940This was great to listen. You should start a youtube channel or sth my dude
>>21656911Ah yeah, but words dont justify assault / domestic violence. Get fucked.
>>21656940>https://voca.ro/ishVYUeGoH3Ah there is the archetype exchange student at my university
I think you both retarded and both need to be single until something changes in you and your wife's psyche. First off you never saw the bearings as a bad sign which means you have no self respect and have no methods of surviving any relationship without breaking down and hanging yourself. Second your wife never mentally matured past 15 and thinks it ok to beat the shit out of the people she loves. So she is destined to burn down every relationship she will ever have. This making her forever alone and in the same boat as you.Fucking divorce and never have a serious relationship or breed I beg of you.
How many years can someone live without a social life until they lose their shit?
Howdy fellow 4channers.Im 18 and its my first time at a party How do I behave? This is mildly important so please tell me how to? What should I do?
>>21657155Its harder than i Thought. Any tips?
>>21657165Guys pls help?
>>21657165don't do cringy stufftry to not to overthink things, just be in the moment and enjoy ittalk to people instead of posting on 4chan :^)what kind of music are they playing?
>>21657182Ight so I talked to one guy, but Im tll afraid to dance. Im already a bit drunk. What do?
>>21657185Music they're posting is pretty chill, I like it. I just want to dance, do i need to get more drunk?
I was molested by my cousin at about 10 years old. Im 26 now and im going to talk to him. Ive talked to him before and i don't outright hate him because i think he was molested by someone. What should i ask? Im going to therapy for the anxiety the event built in me but its some rough shit. Has anyone gone through this? How is your life now?
>>21656312How would the world be if everybody followed your advice? People could rape with utter impunity, because there were be no kind of reprisal. It would just be shrugging and moving on. And you can't say that your recommendation amounts to anything more than shrugging and moving on. You're probably coming from the right place of wanting people to move on from trauma, but your advice is the kind of thing that abusers hope to be commonplace. There are people who don't really feel remorse for the evil they do. They only fear the consequences of reprisal.
>>21656312>>21656283so edgy and cool, manenobody should resolve their conflicts, they should just bury everythingwhat's with the stream of negging in this particular thread? is OP's cousin trying to gaslight them through /adv/???>>21656449Just talk to him and get shit in the open. Maybe the reality is he needs someone to talk to and this might be opening that doorTake it from me: childhood trauma does not just 'disappear,' no matter what edgy tryhards on 4channel's /adv/ think-- it will haunt you until you come to terms with it and make peace with yourself, the trauma, and what it's left you with-- and the onus is on you because nobody in this world can just bibbity-bobbity-boo your shit away. You have to tackle it head-on no matter whatWhatever you do, I don't suggest assault because the legalese behind that will cause you a very real, very crushing kind of defeat and stress, yeah?
>>21656449Damn, you made me cry. God speed anon, you have all my sympathy.
Is recording a conversation secretly allowed where you are?BTW, that "rapists were usually raped themselves" thing is not borne out by evidence. It's a weak correlation.
>>21656373I have confronted my abuser. It didn't fix my life or my issue. There is no closure. Nothing will fix you because you keep thinking you need fixing. You will never have closure or feel that you are fixed. The longer you keep thinking about this the longer you will stay this way. The only way is to accept and realize you already have abundance. I'm not interested in what bothers you or you projecting things onto me that I didn't mean. >>21656469The underlying communication of your post is just another form of seeking revenge. "Justice" won't fix your issues and it won't give you peace.I was just trying to save you time and nerves. >>21656475Read what I said carefully again. I said accept and let go. Not bury. Learn the definition of gaslighting as well.I am not going to reply to this thread anymore because frankly, all your projection, misguided anger and misrepresentation of my words has greatly annoyed me. If my advice was too pragmatic for you, then fine, revel in your emotional outbursts and continuous loop of trauma then, I won't continue.
i have a friend who is a nice guy but he makes me feel like a loser for hanging out with him. i've made a lot of progress in escaping loserdom and i feel i need to drop him. he's on a bunch of pills (antidepressants and stims) and is extremely forgetful, lazy, and all over the place. i have experience with such medication myself and know they often make your situation worse. he can't get his shit together and can't finish the things he starts. he will contact me to hang out which i go along with out of guilt but then the time comes, i try to message him or call to confirm and he just doesn't say anything and goes silent for 2 weeks and until the next cycle starts all over again. i feel bad for him but also know i need to think of myself. i've tried to help him change his behavior but like most people he's stuck in his ways. what would you guys do? i feel ignoring someone is cruel so i don't want to do that.
RULES:Before you ask, see if it's covered by the FAQ.Keep questions concise. Use paragraphs.If you can't handle upsetting replies (or the FAQ) don't ask. You will be bullied out of this thread if you act salty.FAQ:>What do girls/guys think about <any trait, such as looks, physical or personality traits, virginity, penis traits, or lack of dating experience>?>Do <most/any> <girls/guys> like <an insecurity over the above>?There is no one answer, but complexes are always a turn-off.>I'm shy and afraid of <people/rejection>.Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it bit by bit. There is no "magic moment" (or activity) that will instantly change you.>I like someone. What do I do?>How can I tell if someone likes me?Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>21657144approximately a year and a half ago.>>21657152
>>21657100My gut tells me I probably won't see her again. She sent a text talking about it and I sent a message back with no response.
>>21657168Do you have a ball busting fetish?
Damn can't believe I got that mad.Just abort the kid and keep it from him. You'll just hurt him
>>21657169Oh I guess that changes things. I would just wait for the response for now and if you really want to reach out you can go for it in the future, but you may just get ghosted overall :\ It seems if she was just not ready for a relationship but wanted to be friends/keep communicating she would
Earlier this year I thought I wasn’t going to like her class but she has totally won me over... She actually makes me laugh out loud with her witty jokes and has a beautiful smile that warms my heart. She also has offered to help me with my studies 1 on 1 a few occasions and always uses a pink pen to make comments while being so encouraging. She has also made a few Freudian slips like “in sex citations, anal-ysis during our 1-1. She’s a little older than me in her 30s. Thinking about telling her what a impact she made with my school work and how encouraging she is. She has kids, and a husband I think, she has a kind of non traditional opal ring which looks more like jewelry I guess. Considering how cucked most marriages are these day maybe she might be open to something?And am I going to totally fail in my efforts if I come off as submissive to her. I ruined a 1 year relationship trying to express my submissive desires... Really trying to not do that again. Like if you had kids I doubt you would want to have a fling with another submissive person right?
>>21656068Help what? Have your crush and keep it in your pants. Enjoy.
>>21656068>She has also made a few Freudian slips like “in sex citations, anal-ysis during our 1-1It's always embarrassing to see how far one's projection can go. Desperate cunts always see shit that just isn't there. Do like >>21656941 said, and separate school from your dong's fantasy life. Check out Tinder, maybe
It’s easy to see all you miserable cunts seething. So what, it’s just college. Who wouldn’t be flattered by a student willing to listen to your advice, put in the after class time to succeed from said guidance and also appreciate your personality in the class room. I’m in a class full of literal normie zombies who hardly contribute to the classroom atmosphere outside of the bare minimum to pass the class.
>>21657062Sure pal ok, but only if she's single. If she's married don't be a cunt and leave her alone
>>21656068my god what a disgusting person you are, please remove yourself from society.
Boys, i am alone with a girl. We are drinking wine and studying and out of the blue she asked me "Anon am i pretty". I jokingly said "no *laugh* ...yes you are " and she got that i am joking. What do i do next its almost 1am and she's finishing her stuff how do i "close the deal"
Is there any place I could be paired up with somebody and we can give each other free therapy? I realize this is why I find all my relationships to be shallow and empty: I want to talk about my deepest concerns with somebody else, desiring their reflections as a response, and to have the other person do the same to me. When this has been successful, I've have never been happier in my life. These times have been very fleeting, however, and trying to find somebody who would fill this role has led to immense amount of awkwardness and frustration.I'm not really interested in professional therapy, because to me, it's like paying for sex, and if it were entirely about how good the other person was, sex with a professional would always be better than with somebody dear to you. By the same token, I would expect "therapy" with somebody else, if we truly connected, to not only be cheaper than therapy, but better, even if the person is less qualified. My experience seems to suggest that this seems to be an extremely rare preference among people, as nobody I have ever met seems interested in this, at least not among friends or acquaintances. However, this desire of mine seems so natural to me that I believe some other people must have it, and I want to find those people. I should make clear while a women with a similar personality would be ideal, I have no standards other than I suppose English fluency, and I'm willing to relate to anybody who has the same intention as I do.It's possible this is what people in romantic relationships do, and what I should do is look for a girlfriend. I would have no knowledge of that, and considering I'm not interested in sex, this seems like a questionable avenue.
>>21657055>>21656982>I think you should explore your intrests and join communities for those intrestsMore specific advice would be helpful. It's not like I enjoy Yoga classes, or walking my dog in the park, in which there are numerous people involved in the same action. I have fairly specific interests, interests which are not so inherently usable as a means to socialize, unlike the examples, I gave, and interests which I'm sure others share, but interests that I don't think necessarily imply compatible personalities.If I were disposed to accept and practice this advice, rather than lament my condition and make excuses, I would put in my interestsin Google, find forums out there associated with it, find the sections associated with establishing relationships, and start talking to people there. I have never done anythinglike this, and it really doesn't appeal to me, but I will consider it, as no other means occurs to me based on this advice.>ask questions that intrest them, and see if their answers intrest you. When you feel stuck, reflect on the questions you've been asking and the people your giving them to.This requires opportunities and experience, and I find both to be deficient in my case to find this advice practical now. I'm sure I will get to a point where I can practice it, but I am not at that point.>Ultimately I think this may be too abstracted but I hope it leads you in the right direction OP.I made this thread because I have a very specific idea of what I want, and I find it extremely frustrating trying to get it with what means occurred to me to establish relationships with other people. The advice I received relating to Discord, is totally mysterious to me, yet not appealing, (yet I will keep it on my mind). The other advice I have received seems to make assumptions that I have knowledge which I lack.
>>21656982>>21657107I apologize for the poor formatting. It should have been: >Though If there isn't anyone you know irl that you wish to know better, then internet friends would be a great way to practice.This has not been my experience, but my experience has been quite limited, at least in scope.>Of course seeing other people as a way to grind your communication skills is ironicly impersonal and borderline sociopathicWell, I would not mind being being the object of such an effort, assuming I equally got something out of it. Really, there is very little exploitative in this approach, unless you conveyed a different intention, or more fondness than you actually felt.
>>21657127>>21657127Should have been formatted as:>I think you should explore your intrests and join communities for those intrestsMore specific advice would be helpful. It's not like I enjoy Yoga classes, or walking my dog in the park, in which there are numerous people involved in the same action. I have fairly specific interests, interests which are not so inherently usable as a means to socialize, unlike the examples, I gave, and interests which I'm sure others share, but interests that I don't think necessarily imply compatible personalities.If I were disposed to accept and practice this advice, rather than lament my condition and make excuses, I would search my interests in Google, find forums out there associated with it, find the sections associated with establishing relationships, and start talking to people there. I have never done anything like this, and it really doesn't appeal to me, but I will consider it, as no other means occurs to me based on this advice.>ask questions that intrest them, and see if their answers intrest you. When you feel stuck, reflect on the questions you've been asking and the people your giving them to.This requires opportunities and experience, and I find both to be deficient in my case to find this advice practical now. I'm sure I will get to a point where I can practice it, but I am not at that point.>Ultimately I think this may be too abstracted but I hope it leads you in the right direction OP.I made this thread because I have a very specific idea of what I want, and I find it extremely frustrating trying to get it with what means occurred to me to establish relationships with other people. The advice I received relating to Discord, is totally mysterious to me, yet not appealing, (yet I will keep it on my mind). The other advice I have received seems to make assumptions that I have knowledge which I lack.
>>21654887If you were clearer about what you wanted, I may or may not be able to sympathize with it. I call what I want mutual "therapy," because I find that what I most naturally have to say to people would resemble what I would say if I were speaking to a therapist, and what I would have them say to me would have the same character. In your case, however, you might really need professional therapy, somebody who would have to be paid to resolve your problems, not only because they are not pleasant to hear, but perhaps most people simply would not know how to give advice when somebody has dealt with such trauma.
>>21656982I would also be interested in ways to start relating, (and not just interacting, like going on the street and talking to strangers), to people vocally, as I have come to find relating through messages to not only differ substantially from vocal communication, but in every respect, to differ for the worse. Nothing can, at least among mere acquaintances, replace face-to-face conversation, and there's much communication that's subtle and done by the face that I think it is necessary that can't be related when you are speaking, especially communication that is not intentional. However, the gulf of quality of messaging compared to merely vocal communication is incomparably greater. It's far easier to talk past somebody, far easier for one person to obsess about writing rather than exchanging, and far harder, (in my case, I think impossible), to determine how what I've said is being received. That I can't kowno whether what I perceive to be a lack of response means they are considering what I'm saying, bored with what I'm saying, offended by what I'm saying, off doing something else, or engrossed by what I'm saying, but responding exactly as frequently as they would, I have found to be close to devastating at times, especially I am forced to restrain myself from sharing my pain with the person who is, by their inaction, indirectly responsible for it.Certainly, I could easily imagine a circumstance where I would be pleased with messaging, (i.e., they make clear when they are available to chat, treat it as if we in a vocal or face-to-face conversation in terms of attention, and make clear when they left the conversation). However, it is at best a shadow of vocal communication, which I very, very much prefer, and the only reason I am considering the advice what someone else gave.
