[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

[Advertise on 4chan]

Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


Happy 18th Birthday, 4chan!

Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box!


[Advertise on 4chan]

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: 1632111830862.jpg (141 KB, 527x536)
141 KB
141 KB JPG
My 25 years old sister already has a daughter while I'm a 28 years old kissless virgin guy. How do I stop feeling like a massive loser?
28 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>25137344
>How do I stop feeling like a massive loser?
You:
Don't. Make excuses and cry until you kys.
A mentally healthy person in a situation similar to yours:
Get more interests in life besides having a family, and value himself for succeeding in those other interests.
>>
>>25147520
Such as? Movies? Tv series? I have hard time pretending to care about stuff I genuinely don't give a fuck about.
>>
>>25137344
>How do I stop feeling like a massive loser?
Stop comparing yourself to other people and be content with the life you have. You chose it. If you really enjoyed interacting with women and doing datey things you would have done it years ago. This just bothers you because you feel behind but you individually being behind doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Just chill, figure out what it is that you really need, what you have to do to get it and go for it. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
>>
>>25147578
>I have hard time pretending to care about stuff I genuinely don't give a fuck about.
Then don't even bother with women. You sound like an introverted 1-dimensional dweeb who isn't interested in putting too much effort into anything which is why you're exactly where you are. You've built up this life where everything you do is low effort, low pressure and you can do it in a dark room under a desk light by yourself. That is what you truly want, to be alone in a room watching anime and playing with figures
>>
>>25147646
But I actually want to have a family of my own.

>>25147675
I am introverted, and I don't actually like dating or just chatting with random people, be they women or men about stuff I don't care about.

And you don't know where I put in effort or not. I put tons of effort into things I actually genuinely am interested in, unfortunately most women I have actually been interested in have not reciprocated my feelings for them.

File: nohp23133.png (618 KB, 1280x703)
618 KB
618 KB PNG
My gf found a gov job before she even graduated, she started at 75-90k a year and peaks at like 2-350k in 5-10 years or something ridiculous like that, I cant even find anything that offers more than 35-45+ a year... why even bother...
32 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
What job did she get wtf
>>
>>25147415
Does this apply if the genders are swapped too?
>>
>>25143972
That’s unfathomably cringe, your employer should kill itself
>>
>>25147415
what if i told you she likes my penis , and i am her emotional support system.
>>
>>25143646
I am in the same boat this wage gap is bullshit, I get blow off interviews and get rescinded job offers cause 50k makes a giant corporation offended. Inflation is gonna eat everything I earn this year anyways

File: 14589635245853.jpg (36 KB, 720x758)
36 KB
36 KB JPG
Is it weird to ask a woman on the first date if she likes to have her pussy eaten? I love eating it, but I heard some women don't like it.
>>
Don't ask, just move to do it when you're going to have sex.
>>
>>25147616
Yeah it's weird to ask out of nowhere. Wait until you're actually in bed with her.
>>
eating pussy is submissive
>>
File: FB_IMG_1634144803703.jpg (33 KB, 550x450)
33 KB
33 KB JPG
>>25147616
There are no strict rules to dating. You can do anything (within laws boundaries).

That said discussing kinks so fast seems a too much tryhard for me. First try to get her to bed. And once you are in bed you can discuss / try it out to see her reaction.

File: bejita.gif (399 KB, 498x272)
399 KB
399 KB GIF
>Be dumbfuck me

>In the process of quitting my job,getting a new one and I want to move away from my parents place so I start first by looking for a roommate
>Reconnect with a sex friend I used to have. She does weed and drinks a lot but is otherwise very nice. She just kinda stopped texting me one day and I thought nothing of it. She's a nurse meaning she's got $$$$ and an education hence why she was my main option
>Ask her if she wants to live with me and pay rent and we'll use my credit to get the place going and she agrees
>Says we aren't a couple but I rebuke her and tell her "It can't go any other way" and she just shuts up and gives me a look and moves on to another topic and we fuck some
>Goes ahead and goes out and starts looking at places with me anyway,we find one,an apartment quickly we both agree on
>She doesn't want to sign the lease because she says she's been evicted before and arrested and has a lot of stuff on her record i'm like alright whatever we're a team I got you
>I pay for the place and move in and she moves in a bit further into the month
>Things go fine at first but then as we're talking about getting a matress at a store(For HER) she starts playfully physically pushing me away when I get close and says "6 feet"
>I'm not very cool with this and she's freaking out about breaking out so I say i'll just step out into my car and get her one since she doesn't seem to want to be around me
>She just gets mad at this and wants to leave so we do,of course we have a nice talk about it in the car,she blames it on being high

File: images.jpg (3 KB, 275x183)
3 KB
3 KB JPG
It's actually pretty bad...
Every single second she has she will spend with that thing to her face.
She doesn't even really do anything except hop from one to the other social media app and scroll around. If she's doing anything else she'll leave put her phone right in front of her with sound on. And she will open every notification there is.

I once asked her "why do you open every single notification even when people are talking to you?" and she responded with "It's not my fault people post on their stories."

My problem is, it's affecting her day-to-day life really badly now. And has been. She doesn't have the concentration or grit to spend more than 30 seconds on something that doesn't give her instant gratification. She doesn't go outside unless there's "something to do" which always implies and consuming.

She spends 30 minutes on shit like brushing her teeth because she'll just stand in the middle of the bathroom scrolling on tiktok, or PAUSE brushing her teeth to reply to texts. She'll carry heavy or big objects, still with her phone in her hand while looking at it, she literally cannot spend a single second without. Usually 10 seconds after she has to put it down or do something else, she's "bored" and has "nothing to do".

My parents do realize this but they're just as addicted to their shit. They don't have the energy to actually do something about this. I've talked to them multiple times but my sister always finds a way to make them give her unlimited phone time.

She also has typical addict behaviors like mistrust, lack of interest in anything else, yada yada. you get it. Her favourite past time is "chill in bed and be on phone"

There's a significant age difference between me and my sister (I'm 23 and she's 12), so I do have some authority over her.

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Install a locking system, basic phone functions the same but media and shit get blocked
>>
>>25146959
You can't fix this. All her classmates at school are just as fucked in the head. She's getting it from them. The popularity of social media is a product of peer pressure, and the addictivity of it is by design.
I'd suggest watching The Social Dilemma with her, it's a good docudrama that explains this shit, but she might not understand it at her age.
>>
There is no such thing as phone addiction.
Some people only use their phones all the time because they are social retards by nature. And phones give them a good excuse to disengage from the world.
She probably has autism or something. Even if you take away her phone, she isn't going to turn into a normal well adjusted person who loves talking to people and being active in the world. She'll just find another reason to escape.
Don't hold on to false hope. Your sister is a tard and there is nothing you can do.
>>
This is why I don't want to have kids. Sorry I don't have any advice for you anon, my boyfriend is in a similar boat but he has a bit more control over this but I still fucking hate how's on the phone all day and as soon as he puts it down he starts instictively yawning.
>>
>>25146959
Zoomer here, I experienced a lot of what you're describing when I was in my mid teens. I would agree with >>25147222: this won't be something you can fix fully, even if you try to take steps to better this, peer pressure will ensure that she's never 100% there with it. However there are things you can do that are worth trying. What I would suggest is getting her to try things that involve bonding of some kind, play some sports or board games or vidya with her, discuss music, show her something you're really passionate about, perhaps an outdoor activity, whatever it is make sure it's somewhat active and engaging for a young mind. Not shit like taking her out to castles and museums, or wandering in nature. Get other adults involved as well, it doesn't have to be just you.
The bonding part is important because she needs to hear why phone addiction is dangerous from someone she trusts. Speaking from experience, if you're being lectured on phone addiction stuff from senile boomers who don't know anything about the technology you're using it's impossible to take the concerns seriously.
Yes there will be a ton of resistance. She will likely be completely uninterested at first. The worst thing you can do is things like confiscating her phone and telling her she's a little shit and is bound to fail everything in life if she stays addicted to her phone. The more you do that the more she'll resent you, the more she'll reject the activities you try to get her involved in and the more she'll cling onto her phone. The right way out is a slow process of getting her to realise why there's a problem with how she's living her life.

>>25147234
Please be bait. If not then holy shit this is an extremely bluepilled post. I'm a zoomer who used to be like OP's sister - now I've gotten past that stage of my life I'm a very sociable person who does love talking and being active in the world. I love this world and find new things to love in this world every day.

>5' 7"
>135 lbs
>24 yo, KHV

I'm at a point in my life where I dont even know where I would meet other people my age. I've never had a real job, still live with my parents @ community college, and currently dont drink or go to bars. I play video games and do homework, that's it. I have three brothers and all of them live the exact same life and are 19-30 yo as well. Is it over for me /adv/?
>>
>>25144548
If you can't connect with anyone through classes either go to the gym or get some sort of hobby that's social. Online stuff could also help. If all else fails just graduate and get a job where you might have a chance to connect with people.
>>
>>25144548
You've got to get out of your rut. That will be hard, because ruts are comfortable, but the only way to change is to change. Make yourself do things that will meet new people and change your routine.

File: 155456455.jpg (83 KB, 750x734)
83 KB
83 KB JPG
Previous thread: >>25146357
2 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>25147754
>f a woman says she’s not attracted to you or interested in you it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t want you, right?
Obviously.

>his text
He sounds retarded, a lunch date is obviously not anywhere near the same semantic meaning as an actual date.
>you
Stop hanging out with him if he is this fucking stupid. You tolerating it just makes me assume that you like the attention. If I was in your situation I wouldn't maintain any kind of relationship with this person. Why would I?
>>
>>25147754
You've posted this before haven't you? Dude's a narcissistic lunatic, give a stern message, cut him off, if he keeps trying to contact you call the police.
>>
okay how do I cope?
this happened just now. i have a small crush on my boyfriend's friend, but i try not to think about it since i admittedly like my bf a lot more still and prefer having a relationship with him. and if us 3 are hanging out together, most of the time i talk to my bf instead (since they're long-time friends anyway, usually i'm sort of tagging along). he plays in lots of bands that i listen to since it's a small scene, and being stupid, i saved one pic of him, dunno why really. it was a band pic but it was pretty much just him playing there. my bf came upon it and asked me why do you have a picture of X? i made up something about saving it since i wanted to show it to a friend. he had some pretty cool pants on in the picture and i said that i wanted to show my friend those. my bf agreed but soon changed the topic, and i'm quite sure he thinks something is up. should I try to just forget this? I'm dying of embarrassment, i feel like a stalker or something since i don't know this guy personally.
>>
>>25147754
why are you keeping him around? It seems to me you just want his attention. Ditch him obviously the friendship is already broken.
>>
>>25147754
don't hang out 1v1 with boys you don't maybe want inside you
imagine the mixed messages

I know I’m gonna get made fun of for this post but hear me out
When I was 7, my mom was raped infront of me, then I was molested myself a few months later, both unrelated to eachother.
My parents brought me to build a bear workshop and I got a teddy bear after this. I loved him so much.
I’m 21 now, and while I was away for evacuation due to hurricane, my dad had a fucking crackhead “clean out” my room and he threw away my teddy bear
I am devastated, as I wanted to have it until I was old and could maybe even give it to my kids
I now can’t stop thinking about it and crying that it’s lying in a dump somewhere abandoned. I almost saw it as a pet and miss him.
His name was Mr. Snuggles :(
>>
>>25146264
I’m sorry I meant to clarify for the advice:
How do I stop feeling so horrible and move on? Every time I forget I remember
>>
>>25146264
>>25146266
Making me miss my two guys back home, damn. Similar here, lots of childhood sexual abuse, some things like that just stick. I'm planning on giving mine to my kids too, permitting something like this doesn't happen.
Honestly, and I don't say this in a dismissive or deriding manner, see a therapist. You've had a piece of your younger life, which was already stolen from you, stolen again. In a way it was a bulwark to keep those bad things from creeping back into your head, on a subconscious level you're being forced to confront the past once again. I am in the exact same place right now, for unrelated reasons. It's tough as hell, but keep fighting, and do it with the right tools (therapy, medication if needed, psychedelics if desired, healthy lifestyle, etc). It sucks and is a lot of work but yoh absolutely will thank yourself for resolving shit now rather than resigning to a half-lived life. Stay strong brother
>>
>>25146311
Thank you
My family finally got insurance a few months ago so I had my first psychiatrist appointment a few weeks ago, and my next in a few days
I’m on escitalopram and buspar now but I still need to see an actual therapist
I’m just so fucking broke and depressed…but thank you for validating my feelings and not making fun of me
>>
>>25146325
You got it my dude. Not sure how your insurance works, but the more sessions the better, go as often as money will allow. This isnt some "checkup every six months" type shit, not yet at least. In the meantime though, an unexpectedly great way to fill the gaps are irl support groups. I've just joined SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous) and SAA (sex addicts anonymous) a few months ago, and its actually astounding to see how many obscure specifics types of suffering that feel unique to me, are actually a shared experience of people with a similar past. I was fuckin SHOCKED to hear just how often incest is. Holy fucking shit, 9 out of 10 times, i thought that shit was just me. And really specific deeeeep down patterns and insecurities, so many other people related to. Highly highly recommend, its free, happens often, and you make some new friends as a result. I go twice a week (once to each) and do therapy every other week, havent made tremendous progress quite yet but its super helped slow the slide out of my own sanity, like a psychic blood transfusion or some shit.
>>
>>25146264
A totally normal response - if it weren't a bear it could be a photo or favorite children's book or something.

The advice is the same that is given when a beloved pet dies. Get another. It won't be a replacement or the same, but it will be the beginning of a new set of associations. A new doll (or whatever) can help you get through the loss of the bear the way the bear helped you get through the traumas, and over time will become as precious.

File: 1634600420081.jpg (1.18 MB, 1154x1929)
1.18 MB
1.18 MB JPG
I'm 65kg and 178cm. I just love butter so fucking much, guys.
I love taking a big spoonful and slathering a piece of crisp white bread before putting it in my mouth but I don't wanna get fat. I stopped smoking and I've been coping with this, cup ramen and booze. How much butter is okay to eat in one day if I do next to no exercise?
8 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>25147250
You can be "skinny fat" (look it up) at 65kg and 178. I know from experience, having been exactly those figures. I used to have no muscle and a big gut (not pot belly, but very noticeable).
>>
>>25147081
You should just start working out, I eat a shit ton of butter every damn day. I cook my steaks with it, then I put a slice on top once its done, and I make omelettes with a pan full of butter so it gets soaked up. I'm low bf% and I look good enough so my advice is exercise. It's just that easy
>>
>>25147270
To add to that I'm the same weight and height as you
>>
>>25147180
>>25147250
THESE GUYS ARE ON THE MONEY.

OP, stop eating bread. Eat veg, eat meat. No sugary crap, no bread. Also if you want to loose weight try drinking more caffeine.
>>
>>25147799
I'm fucking retarded lmao had wrong tab open

File: 1627889845567.png (1.11 MB, 1314x2520)
1.11 MB
1.11 MB PNG
How do I quit with my dermatillomania? I have autism and I've been aggressively picking at acne scars on my face for years. I started university with a scarless face and now I have dark spots all over it that might be permanent.

I tend to pick at my face when I'm stressed or anxious. There is quite frankly nothing more satisfying than to pick something off your own skin.
>>
File: 1629943637504.jpg (153 KB, 1080x1350)
153 KB
153 KB JPG
I'm also autistic, i stopped picking my skin when i noticed i was hurting myself, just found something else that i liked to do, mostly listen to music and found somebody to talk to. That really helped with a lot of problems in my life. Do you like computers? Learning to customize a linux system to my like was also really nice, good luck

How do couples form?
I see couples all around me.
All my friends have gfs.
I see couples outside everywhere, despite looks of the dude or the girl.
But how does it happen? They ask each other out, go on a date and then say 'do you want to be my gf' or something?
I'm almost 30 and still don't understand this shit.
I can't ask my friends, they probably realise I'm awkward with women but not the full-on 30yo virgin awkward.
106 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>25135601
20 years ago you would go to parties with friends, get to know people of similar age through friends and family, at work or at school/uni

10 years ago you would be able to find decent people on dating sites

these days? who the fuck knows
>>
>>25147478
Incels simply don't know what to do.
Noone ever told them how to act with girls around or flirt.
I remember when I was a teenager my friends were getting gfs and I thought they must be using since sort of trick since I couldn't even take to girls.
That fact made me feel inferior to them which in turn reinforced my insecurities and inability to ever interact with girls.
The main difference I didn't see at the time, my friends had a father in their lives.
>>
>>25147535
>Incels simply don't know what to do.
Well sure. But (most of the time) do they admit that? No. Do they try to learn and become better? No.
Instead they hate yet obsess over women, hate yet idolize "Chads", run "Tinder experiments" and post their little charts and graphs, shitpost on 4chan and circle jerk each other into oblivion, and try to demoralize people on /fit/ and get them to stop lifting.
No, this is not ALL of them, I realize that, but it's either a majority or a very, VERY vocal minority. And it's pretty hard to feel sorry for these guys with all of the above in mind.

>The main difference I didn't see at the time, my friends had a father in their lives.
I don't disagree. Or at least a proactive father. Listen, I'm old now but when I was a teenager I would've qualified as an "incel" long before the term was a thing. And my old man not only was zero help in teaching me how to talk to girls or even just general guy stuff like playing sports, standing up for yourself, etc but he was actively against it. It does a lot of damage, I know. You don't have to sell me on it. Thank God my mom at least was pretty based.
So, that wasn't my fault. What would have been my fault however is if I went on during adulthood not learning, not undoing the damage, not making up for it. That's the fork in the road between me and other former incels who made it out, and the ones who just double down on it and drown in their misery.
>>
>>25147651
How does a 30yo incel learn? It's impossible to get opportunities.
No father in life, abusive mother, loserdom into your 20s making it impossible to move away from abusive life and suddenly you re 30 and haven't even begun your life yet and suicide seemd like the best alternative.
>>
>>25147687
Is this what you keep telling yourself as an excuse to not try?

how can I get a /soc/ girlfriend? form their ideal boyfriend description it sounds they are only looking for white males.
I ain’t white : (
>>
File: big oof.jpg (54 KB, 979x519)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
>>25147773
>I ain’t white : (
It was over before it began.
>>
Don't try getting a gf on /soc/. Go to poc communities and find a poc gf there. If you really want a white gf, try a left wing community.

File: 1634748406227.jpg (44 KB, 768x1024)
44 KB
44 KB JPG
Dune was a 7.5/10

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sSw0zVjUXHg

Previous:
>>25140517
43 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>25147610

I'm sure that they miss you too and that they want to work things out with you, you just need to talk to them and respond to their attempts to reach out to you. Hang in there.

You need to sort your tooth out and build a habit of regularly brushing them too so when you meet up and kiss them they can see your teeth are as much loved as you love them

They probably just want to make up with you and they're not going to have a go at you when you do talk, but all the silence apart isn't going to help either of you so make sure you're in touch soon sweet anon
>>
nihilism is living in a delirious humour
>>
I've got an interview for a kitchen porter job tomorrow. I honestly don't want that job, idk what to expect from it or what to even tell them on the interview, all I know is that it'll suck and its one of the worst jobs, but thats all I can do apparently.
>>
Another shift down
Time for chain smoking, rumination, and alcohol
>>
i had a dream about like an inverse intervention
a bunch of us getting fucked up in a hotel room and then my mom comes in all like "you're a bunch of junkies"
and i'm like "i'm not even high right now" (i had just had dream cocaine but to be fair it didn't do anything, dream drugs never do anything)
and i danced out of the room and went to a concert, ariel was there but we werent together

File: Withered.jpg (124 KB, 1097x799)
124 KB
124 KB JPG
>too socially inept to make friends and have a life
>too lonesome to continue like I am
What do I do, bros...
This constant state of purgatory that is my life is reaching a boiling point. The lack of socializing has gotten so bad that I couldn't say good morning back to someone. I just stood there like a freak and started sweating before walking away. I have a good job and plenty of spending cash but the thought of hanging out with people makes my skin crawl but it has to be better then work sleep work sleep work sleep. I don't even know what it is people do as friends anymore. Haven't had one since grade school. And I've tried... Boy, have I tried. I act like an Alien mirroring human behavior. I'm tired of being a freak but I don't know how to change.

desu I don't even know what it's like to be human anymore...
>>
volunteer to help dogs and cats at the local animal shelters. can even walk them at many places
>>
Same here, anon. Except, I've never even had friends, in the first place. Not when I was young, in highschool, or now
>>
same here anon! waiting for mom to die so i can finally an hero
>>
>>25145067
for many years during university, I worked at big lots part time and it was great way to fill the social gap in my life, it forces you to talk to customers, other co-workers etc. I recently got a 'real job' and I am work from home so I see now one all day and it take a toll on my, and I recently applied to go back part time. Moral of the story is, work at a super market, or retail store part time that forces you to be around people.

File: wojak_despair.jpg (14 KB, 200x200)
14 KB
14 KB JPG
How do I get over my fear of missing out?
I seriously need to quit 4chins and a bunch of other social media atleast for a month or two as I have an extremely important exam coming up.
But I simply can't even skip for one day because I fear I'm missing out on some big event. And there always seem to be something upcoming that I'm holding out for.
I can't go on like this much longer, I have fudged countless exams this way.
what do I do?
>>
Read the subtle art of not giving a fuck
>>
>>25147725
>How do I get over my fear of missing out?
You don't.
Your actual problem is you have low self esteem and you're constantly doubting yourself.
And if you haven't fixed that shit by now you're not going to.
>>
>>25147743
how do i fix it?




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.