[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vmg / vr / vrpg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


New board: /vmg/ - Video Games/Mobile

New board: /vrpg/ - Video Games/RPG


[Catalog] [Archive]

I feel so much like a fucking shit. I really do, and the worst thing is my parents doing litteraly everything they can to make me happy. They have health problems and are killing themselves for me, and what can I say ? Except being an utter failure, I offered them nothing and I never will. I couldn't achieve their dream of me becoming a doctor, I couldn't become rich and give them lots of money, I just stood there and enjoy it without thinking a single second about them. Probably writting this so I can read some positive bullshit like oh well you know your parents love you and being healthy and happy is the best thing you can do for them so I can feel better and stay in the same situation. So disgusting.
>>
>>22624961
Parents will be happy if you succeed in life
>>
>>22624961
Have you tried your best at things?
If yes dont agonize about it.
If not, try to be better next time.
Dont focus on what you should be feeling, focus on what you should be doing.
>>
so do something about it if you feel bad the way things are. they'll love it. and you'll feel better.
>>
>>22624961
I won't sugar coat it because I am mostly the same. We were ungrateful children who didn't deserve such great parents. However, what I have decided is that all that really matters is the future. Your parents gave everything to you, and to pay them back you will do the same for your children. The next generation is what really matters, so even if you feel ashamed of how you treated your parents, you have to let that go. Of course, if they are still alive then you should be a good child to them now while you still can.

I'm an abusive gf, have major anger issues and have a hard time keeping calm and mature when my Bf takes what I say into offense as if I'm talking about him. Instead of calmly clarifying or walking away. I call him too sensitive, a pussy, tell him to stop acting like a woman, etc. I recognize this as childish behavior but what can I do to stop?
5 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>22624591
Aye, I completely understand that. Like I said, I'm aware of my faults and am looking to change - I'm not defending my behavior whatsoever.

>>22624805
You realize you're practically siding with me by calling him a pussy as well right? But I'll take that advice into consideration.

>>22624644
Not entirely sure how this is a hoe brain, more like a modern angry bitch brain. But gg
>>
Stop nagging or it's over. Been your bf and a nagging gf makes you want to blow your brains out.
>>
>>22624945
Not a modern thing

Dysfunction is a thing and has been for ages

Some men and women are into dysfunction because that's what they know
Not outright but they feel at home when in the relationship
>>
>>22624479
id beat the shit out of you or cheat on you, or just dump you. you clearly dont respect him so you're probably losing attraction to him or something. consider fucking a chad instead

you stupid bitch
>>
>>22624479
Oh yeah, I really hope he dumps you out of self-love.

Should I stay with my girlfriend? She’s really great and I really care for her, but I kind of want to see other people. We’re both 25 and been dating for 2 years. I kind of am curious about other women because she’s my first gf. I also am a bit lukewarm about her physically and kind of wish she would lose some weight. It’s also a long distance relationship because of covid.
>>
>>22625344
We used to live in Boston together.
>>
>>22625344
I think that's your own personal decision OP. You can have all the logical reasons to keep her or not, but only you can decide if you still love her.
>>
>>22625344
Your first relationship will usually never last, and if you're already having second thoughts just end it before you waste anymore time
>>
>>22625344
Cant say for sure. If you arent happy then break up, but its possible that you wont find anyone else to date for years. I havent dated in over 3 years even though I have tried to find a date countless times.

It's actually just not that easy to date women for average guys. You could be throwing away something that you might not be able to replace for years.
>>
>>22625344
Leave. Any doubts about her weight are not worth waiting on. There are better girls out there or at minimum, that lukewarm feeling goes away. Experience something new mate. Don't stay because you're scared and comfortable. Take action and seek the best form of what you want apologetically, similar to how women are unapologetically indifferent to the other suitors she may have that desire her.
Do. Not. Settle.

Good evening anons.
I want to share with you my thoughts tonight. I was born and raised in a double nationality/culture background and sometimes i don't even know who i am anymore. I feel like being seen as a stranger everywhere i go just like a lost soul wandering in the woods between the wolves and the snakes. The problem is that deep inside i am conviced that i don't belong to none of them. Just like if i have no identity. In the past i have been betrayed quite often propably because of this modern cancer we call hypocrisy. Socializing feels tasteless to me... i don't find anything interesting in other people, they all look way too busy on their dumb snapchat, ugly instagram posts or listening to their debauchery advocating music. Everyone is selfish today (in my opinion of course) they don't take time anymore to listen and care about what other people have on their chests and it saddens me. Everyday i take people's bullshit deep inside until i have a mental breakdown just like tonight where i got angry at my younger cousin for whatever reasons. I propably have to stop hanging out with psychologically speaking incompatible people but then i find myself having no friends. No cute girlfriend that i can look right in the eyes and tell her i love you. Life is difficult anons.

File: Kaamos-Johan-Broberg.jpg (121 KB, 1500x843)
121 KB
121 KB JPG
How do you all get comfortable indoors? I would like to relax inside for many hours. I get claustrophobic at times, feeling isolated from society. I get jealous of people who go on these adventures outdoors while I am cooped up. I wish I was at the beach or hiking in the woods. I can not do that because of the Covid-19 outbreak. Where I am at it is constantly loud so enjoying it being quiet can be kind of an issue.
>>
>>22625706
wtf....
>feeling isolated from society is a bad feeling
i fucking hate people and i fucking hate society so i feel the comfiest when im the fuck away from them
>>
>>22625706
>feeling isolated
>>22625706
>because of the Covid-


every government should be shot for causing people to fcuking kill themselves.

as for your problem... beanbags movies munchies music reading comfy clothing etc

>>22625706
>claustrophobic
>>22625706
>cooped up


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
File: 1590730668540.jpg (152 KB, 828x682)
152 KB
152 KB JPG
>>22625706
You belong >>>/out/ my fren. Noone can stop you. Go. Be free. Run with the wind like a wild stallion that you are. Humans cannot stop you.
>>
Thank you you all for your responses.
>>22625735
Looks cool.

File: 1158383299173.jpg (10 KB, 280x180)
10 KB
10 KB JPG
Is it a bad idea for someone with aspergers to go into data science? I've heard it's the normiest job ever.
>>
>>22625688
>data science

nerds who perve on their sisters in the shower and get pats on the back from daddy.gov for giving them what they want to know.
>>
>>22625710
I don't have a sister though.

File: 1663.jpg (21 KB, 693x443)
21 KB
21 KB JPG
Every single time I go to sleep I wake up at least twice and can't remain asleep 8 hours straight

I'm tired of this
What should I do?
>>
>>22625577
too much stress or substances can make it so that you have insomnia. Sometimes being stressed about insomnia gives you insomnia.
Dont smoke, drink alcohol or coffe before sleeping. Avoid electronics before sleeping or near the bed.
If everything else fails, try taking sleeping pills.
>>
>>22625577
im in the same boat, i made a thread as well. im taking antihistamines and im gonna up it to 100mg and see if it works. if that fails, im going for benzos. i haven't been able to sleep more than 4 hours at a time. best i can do is 4 hours + 1 hour awake + 4 hours a sleep
>>
>>22625647
I'm currently meditating everyday but damn sometimes I can't hanlde anger or stress. I don't smoke, drink alcohol or coffee
I've tried pills but they didn’t work

I'm 29m dating a 21f. I'm pretty sure we are going to consumate the relationship here soon and was wondering how safe is it to assume this chick is into some submissive lg roleplay?

I'm quite a bit older than her and shes much smaller than I am, I dont really want to even fake being a gentlemen when I get ahold of that.
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>22625362
>assume

dont assume - ask her first
>>
>>22625403
uh we're in pretty different stages.

>>22625407
Do you ask your dates to kiss before you go in for it?
>>
>>22625436
>pretty different stages
You're people not larvae and cocoons.
>Do you ask your dates to kiss before you go in for it?
No because a kiss is normal and not something you have to assume someone would be into. Unless your way of kissing involves like blowing air into their mouth or licking their eyeballs or something
>>
>>22625436
Can you get convicted of rape by kissing someone on the mouth? No. Fucking get consent you stupid shit.
>>
>>22625559
what the fuck kind of rape fantasy are you projecting here go away.

File: harakiri.jpg (2.2 MB, 3608x2029)
2.2 MB
2.2 MB JPG
Hey, I was in psychiatry for almost 4 months earlier this year and was diagnosed with schizophrenic psychosis there. Now that diagnosis wouldn't be so bad for me if it weren't for these damned after-effects of psychosis. My psychiatrist told me I have residual syndrome. That means I have almost no drive anymore, my libido has disappeared, I have no more confidence, I can no longer concentrate, etc. I am practically mentally disabled. I used to be a cheerful person with a good appearance (have now gained 20 kilos) and a good self-esteem. The psychiatrist told me that the after-effects of psychosis may never go away and I will never be the old one. I am so incredibly depressed and have been thinking about killing myself. Does someone know from experience whether there is still hope for me and can I ever be the old one again?
>>
>>22624090
Look, if your doctor said that, its very likely that you need to accept reality.

But, keep in mind that theres some excepcional people who were in accidents and whatnot and wer told that they would never again walk(or something) and after extensive efforts, they could walk(or something else) again.
Those were physical problems, yours is a mental problem, so you need to understand that you might need to triplify your efforts if you want to be like your old self.
>>
>>22624090
I also live with the negative symtpoms of schizophrenia and have read up on the important aspects of this.

Basically the reason schizophrenics like us have a hard time enjoying this is two reasons.

1. Dopemine is what drives people forward, but the way schizos process dopemine is different. We put more dopemine reward into neuropathways that promote making mental connections. The thing is, dopemine also regulates physical activity and "drive". In schizos, we actually get less reward from physical activity and more reward for overthinking. The trick is to try and balance this out with more exercess and less thinking.

2. Our hypocampus activity is diminished. Things seem less novel and even new experiences seem bland and out of focus. One way to increase hypocampus activity is to go running.

So in short, the answer is to dedicate yourself to obsessive exercise. It will increase hypocampus activity and regulate your dopemine imbalance.

Playing strategy video games also help because it gets you thinking many moves in advance about how to conduct yourself and I think this helps you predict where your mind is going before it gets there and allows you to avoid triggers more easily.
>>
>>22624090
You don't want to be your old self again. That led to your psychosis. Do most of you schizos legitimately enjoy being delusional? When I was diagnosed with ADHD and BPD and got meds for it i felt absolutely amazing. I dread going off them. When I do have hypomanic episodes, there is a recovery period. It's literally a wound, but in your brain. It has to heal, and you have to do things that help it heal. Going off your meds and self medicating with weed, booze, and drugs is not that.
>>
>>22625626
It's not that we enjoy being delusional, we just become so used to living in a house full of mirrors that when we finally experience clarity it's like the entire world falls apart. The delusions can be a bit of a safety blanket.

File: BodhiDharma.png (681 KB, 499x680)
681 KB
681 KB PNG
I can fall asleep fine, but I wake up after 4 hours. This has been happening for almost 3 months now. The best i can do now is ill wake up for 4 hours, be awake for ~1 hour, and then sleep for another 4 hours. Its better than nothing, but I don't feel wholesomely rested as if i had gotten 8 hours of consistent sleep. Melatonin didn't work, unisom didn't work, I have hydroxzine but im scared to take 100mg (2 50mg pills). one 50mg pill didn't work

I wear earplugs, the eye covering thing, and i put blankets over my windows. I'm tied of not sleeping.

File: 20200809_071904.jpg (128 KB, 720x720)
128 KB
128 KB JPG
I legit just found out thay my birthday is today when my mam told me yesterday. Im stuck at home with my two brothers and have no idea what to do with my day. So lads, any mad ideas on how should I celebrate?
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Get a huuuuge pizza with extra cheese and extra tomato sauce.
I had a blast enjoying a birthday pizza alone in march while watching a good movie. Also dont feel guilty eating too much of it. Eating very little 2 days before/after your birthday will help keep your guilt at bay.
>>
Happy Birthday OP. I hope you have a good day and spend time with people you care about doing something you enjoy. Stay safe.
>>
>>22621498
>>22621499
>>22621516
>>22622844
Based wholesome anons
>>
File: 1583863464582.jpg (83 KB, 788x685)
83 KB
83 KB JPG
>>22621492
Happy birthday anon! Wish you all the best!
>>
>>22621499
>>22621516
>>22622752
>>22622844
>>22622873
>>22623816
>>22624374
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I had a good day, just decided to chill since there wasn't much to do, parents are coming home tommorow so I'l will probably celebrate then

>>22621498
I know im late to respond but im 19

File: _96353527_sheet.jpg (49 KB, 800x450)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
Some people very close to me wronged me. That happened around two years ago. Since then things went south with a good part of my social life thanks to those events. People just continued to be shitty.
I'm not playing victim here, they wronged me and that's it. No amends, no sympathy, no anything, just some ungrateful people being, well, ungrateful. I didn't even get involved in some deep feud or anything. I got hurt, but I moved on.
I learned that people can be shitty and there's little I can do about some stuff besides taking care of myself, learning, growing and moving on.
I don't feel particularly sad or angry about what happened. Life just continues and I find happiness in other stuff. Everything is fine.

Except everything is not fine. I can take care of myself and not dwell in negative feelings or thoughts but it still bothers me. It's the lack of real closure, the fact that some people very close to me could just shit on me like that and move on. I mean, I'm not mad or sad but.. it feels wrong.

So... How do you deal with that particular feeling? I can't think about anything else to do to feel better because I do not feel bad but I don't know how to give real closure to this.

Is that it? I mean I sucked it up but what now? I feel this is something that will never feel right.

I'm not sure how to explain it, does anyone get it? Can anyone help me to just let it go and not care anymore? Or are unfair injuries the ones that never really heal completely? Those that time by time still hurt a little.
>>
>>22623864
Hi, this answer may seem insatisfactory, in which case you should go to a proper psychologyst.
What you stated is a lack of close
Ure by your shitty exfriends.
You should read some books on closure.
>>
>>22623864
same boat, lost a lot of "friends" who ended up being piss poor allies and justified my abuse. Better off without them.
>>
Who cares about them. You can fantasize about kicking in the balls or bashing them in the head with a lead pipe but that's going to do noting but to fuel your anger. Ignore them and get better yourself. There are tons of shitty people out there and its practically unavoidable to bump into them.
>>
>>22623864
>not dwell in negative feelings or thoughts but it still bothers me.

You're dwelling in the negative thoughts and feelings. Writing that you don't and then complaining that you do doesn't magically make the problem disappear.
>>
My advice to you:
write a letter to them that you will never send.
realize that karma is real. (a friend cheated on me w my partner, then later got cheated on with another of their friends, etc.)
realize that you are a motherloving G and they dont fucking matter. you're the main character, they're expository and expendable.
think of it as you're making room for better friends
make some kind of social account like an instagram or join a game group on /v/ or /soc/ or something, anything to get into socializing with new people. it'll help your security

So my roommate has been bringing a different guy over each weekend. They usually stay the night at least or they even spend the entire weekend together.

Today she brought a mentally retarded guy over. She was talking to him like he was a baby and asked him if he wants to watch cartoons.

I'm wondering wtf is going on. Is she going to sleep with him too and is that even legal? And if shes just babysitting him, is she allowed to do that in a place that shes just subletting/? wtf??
28 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
"hur dur there's two of letting it so it must be subletting" ??
>>
this is what we get for trying ot help mother fuckers with edglord issues...

clearly your fuckin problem is not checking your roomies out before they fuckin squat somewhere with you

retard.
>>
>>22625548
Letting isnt a thing. There’s leasing and subletting.

We are both subletting From someone and live in a house owned by a landlord. Not sure why you’re arguing when you’re clearly wrong, and you’re not being helpful so just fuck off.

Again, search up subletting. You clearly don’t know what it means.
>>
>>22625558
Youre a fucking retard.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.zumper.com/blog/what-is-subletting/amp/
>>
>>22625548
She’s renting it from the person with a lease from the landlord, you degenerate piece of shit

File: Untitled.png (796 KB, 750x727)
796 KB
796 KB PNG
Sorry this is long... I tried to keep it as short as possible.

I'm a 29 y/o closeted bi/gay/who-knows male.

A few weeks ago I downloaded Grindr to find a quick hookup and, long story short, me and the other guy exchanged numbers after the hookup, met up again a few days later, and really hit it off, much more than I thought we would. He is 25 and a lot more attractive than me. We grew up in the same area, went to the same high school a few years apart, have a lot of similar interests, and he's a great guy. We're both masculine-acting and I felt like we were able to hang out like friends but more. We went on 6ish dates.

After giving him my snapchat after texting daily for a few weeks, we snapped for a few days and he slowly began losing interest. I'm relatively sure that he realized he was no longer attracted to me based on the snaps, but who really knows.

He broke it off about 2 weeks ago and said that he found someone else who he felt strongly about (this is probably not true based on things that were going on at the time, but it was probably to let me down easy) and that he would be willing to hang out again at some point in the future, but he didn't want to add me on Facebook because he said he was thinking about deleting it.

Obviously he doesn't want to see me anymore, but I literally cannot get over this guy. I'm a down-to-earth, intelligent guy, so I know that logically I shouldn't be feeling heartbroken about this. I have never felt like this about anyone before, and I have dated women and had relationships with them. I don't know what I should do to get over him... I can't get him out of my head. I figured it might be because I'm not out and can't talk to anyone about this? Any advice appreciated.

TL;DR: Can't get over a guy I dated 6 times for some reason and really want to but don't know how.
18 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>22624449
My mind is always racing about this particular situation, it's hard to get my mind off. I usually will wake up and like, "remember," and I have to deal with that in the mornings and periodically throughout the day. The urge to send a message to someone who says they don't want it and probably doesn't tears me apart. I don't understand how my life always comes back to feeling strongly about someone who feels nothing back for me, like I could imprint on a brick wall and be devastated when it got torn down. I'm not good enough for anyone, to keep anyone around, it seems.
>>
>>22623913
Faggots get the rope
>>
>>22624482
Sorry, you said? I'm too bussy raping your son to hear, and his screams you know.
>>
Good luck OP I love you.
>>
>>22623913
>letting him tickle your prostate through your loose butthole
>not even dating
Idk what you expected, degenerate.

I (26F) fell for the manlet bf meme. After years of breakups, I decided to give my current bf a chance (he's 5'7"). And while I think he's cute and fun to be around, I'm not in love with him.
I can't help but to think of him as my brother. Every time he asks for sex, I want to gag and I reluctantly agree time to time so he'll stop. I think he's starting to catch on and don't want him to hurt me once he fully understands what going on.
I tried to get with my ex weeks and offered myself several times so he'll let me stay with him, but it's obvious that plans to kick me off the curb anyways.

What should I do? Right now I'm crashing at my bf's house, the other guys are being stubborn, and I can't live like this anymore.
30 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>22623705
>I don't know what the deal is with the mountainous regions in central Europe
Apparently, it's their dairy heavy diets. Also, welfare states means less people underfed.
>>
6'4'' here. If you're legit, break up with him. I don't care about your living situation, but no man deserves a repulsive person such as yourself.
>>
lol reap what you sow ya slag. maybe you should try talking to him and breaking up with him if you aren't happy. but I suppose consideration for other peoples feelings isn't on your to-do list you fuckin harpy.
>>
>>22622860
5'9 here. I never felt tall or short but I always thought I had a small pp because of porn and how all guys brag about being huge in highschool. Turns out I'm slightly autistic and have a retard dick. 9 and a half inches and thick. Funny thing is I'm average height and on the spectrum but I've never been without a girlfriend since 16 and I'm 37 now (and married). Tldr who cares about height if you can make women cum.
>>
6' guy

have you considered not riding betas to pay your rent and actually working?


Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.