I grew up without friends cause my mom is paranoid and believes in only being friends with your family members. I've since realized what she was doing, but relationships are still really hard for me.How much do you need to have in common with someone to be friends? How open do you need to be with someone to be *best* friends? How do you know if someone is hitting on your or just being friendly? (apparently I've been hit on a lot and it flew right over my head)People scare me, but we're social animals, I believe I can get better.
there's no such thing as friends. especially after highschoolpeople just care about what they can get from each other. adults just barely tolerate each other based on what benefit they can get.
>>28635725You don't make friends. You make acquaintances, and over time some of them become friends.Acquaintances don't have to have a lot in common with you beyond some legitimate reason to say "Hi." Neighbors, classmates, workmates, gymmates, etc. Some stay on that level, some evolve into stop-and-chat level, and some of those into arrange-to-get-together level. Those are what most people would call friends - people it is fun to hang out with. Maybe one or two from that group evolve into have-deep-conversations-with or go-to-with-problems level real friends. But you can't leapfrog directly to that level.
>>28636945This is a very unhappy person.
I'm still a loner in my 30s. I'm so afraid of people and don't think I'm worthy of being around others. I'm too dumb, boring, and ugly. Nothing to offer. It just gets worse as you get older.
>>28635931>>28636009>>28636941>>28636991Really good points I hadn't thought about honestly. It just seems like everyone has a handful of things they have in common with friends so I thought that came first, not second.I joined meetup.com and attend meetings, theyre friendly guys and I set up an instagram just to keep up with them but it still feels like we're just being polite back and forth. Maybe that's okay for now.I also joined up with a mental health clinic offering a sort-of college with courses on self improvement and coping mechanisms. It was really scary but I keep hearing that change makes us scared so I'm going to commit. I also got a therapist, it's costly but maybe he can help me a little more personally.Thanks for your responses
you all ever get the feeling of never fitting in anywhere?Like you tried multiple places but nowhere seems to accept you awhile everyone else sits in so well like childhood friends and then you’re just there in the background being an outsider?
>>28638610I have but it's less the 'background' and more the 'outsider' part. I'm typically unwelcome and unwanted in most situations even with other outcasts. Sometimes I get it to an extent, other times not at all, and every time it adds up and eventually gets to me.
>>28638621Even at new places where most people don’t know each other?
>>28638642I tend to make friends with everyone quickly and then they are with me and so make friends with the others in those 'nobody knows each other' situations, and then I am booted out and alienated as someone unwanted and bad (even if I've done nothing at all). Sometimes they even make up rumors about me - and I say this as a fully grown adult dealing with other adults, they still act like kids with lies to kick out people.I do tend to be fairly popular BEFORE people come together (or just for awhile if they already were and I showed up) so without trying to sound like I'm patting myself on the back (especially since it makes me lose my friends), I think at least sometimes jealousy from them about that comes into it.
Why are there so many demoralization threads on this site? Who's behind it and for what purpose?
>>28638207Go back to your RTS.
>>28638213What's an RTS?
>>28637861At least one in five threads here is a troll, a bot, glownigger, bad faith actor, or a mentally ill teenager just looking to vent. This board makes much more sense when you understand the demographics of 4chan is 18 to 24-year-old who are horny lonely with untreated mental illness and other issues whos only window into the world is what other mentally ill loners post. On a good day this place is in an insane asylum where the patients are also the wardens.
>>28638342Kek. Tbh browsing this site too much probably creates mental illnesses that we don’t have a word for. Some kind of post ironic nihilism.I wish I had something else to do with my time.
>>28637861You demoralization fags are legit schizo.Whenever I express my opinion and what I believe to be hard facts of life I get yelled at that I'm a bot or paid to demoralize. Literal retards.
so ive been doing HRT and stuff for about a year by now but i dont want to go out as a girl yet so im 10x more self conscious about comments made about my physical appearance. idk if people around me are started noticing or if my mind is playing tricks on me. basically the only thing they should be able to see is that i got my facial hair lasered. is that enough of a giveaway? i never grew out my facial hair so i doubt it desu. nobody except my bf knows about it since he's the only one able to see my whole body and i would like to keep it that way for a while until i get facial surgery done lolso anyway, can you tell if a guy is doing HRT or whatever? pls no mean itt
>>28636145It's not like weird weird. You just start smelling feminine. I can't describe it, but I've got a really good sense of smell. Most people probably won't notice and if they do they won't know what it means.
>>28635998You don't have gender dysphoria, you just have low self esteem and you're unhappy with your appearance. High cheekbones aren't inherently feminine or masculine, wanting to get surgery for them is just mental illness on your part.
>>28637543>what exactly gives it away?Your female body fat distribution and your lack of facial hair will trigger the disgusting feeling you are some intersex abomination.Also, the smell.
Do a favor for me and just try to be open to how you look for a while. You might realize you're a lot prettier than you first thought. We get in our own heads sometimes, and form certain pathways that show us what we expect to see, not what's really there. In my experience most people who talk about themselves the way you do are more attractive than they think. If you don't change your mind no big deal, right? You can get the surgery anyways.And also, please tell your closest friends and family before you fully transition. It's so jarring to have someone suddenly transition. I had a friend do that, and no one had a problem with it, but no one knew how to really handle it either, so no one really talked to them after that. It's a weird thing, but people don't know how to handle things when they happen too quickly. Some people might give you a little flak, but if they really care about you they'll come around. It might take some time, but it's better that way. Better than cutting people out of your life who do care about you, just because they don't know how to handle you transitioning because it's a new thing to them. From time to time people come off like assholes with stuff like that, but 99% of the time they don't really mean it. They just need some time to think it over and accept it.
We can tell and most will feel sorry for you or think you're disgusting. You should back out while you still can. You realize you'll never pass, right? Save your family pain and stop. Your friends will also abandon you and feel like they lost you. You can still be comfortable as a boy. Don't destroy your life and body over a trend.
Is there something wrong with me if I take a bit of pleasure in hearing my dog growl to bet let inside and denying them that request? Might sound edgy, apologise in advance
>>28638445So she doesn’t bother you in any way? Idk the growling sounds fucking bratty and would annoy me desu Oh well maybe you’re just a little power hungry. Do you feel like you lack control in certain areas of your life?
>>28638459Yeah kinda lol. When I hear her make specific growls that communicate her discontent of being outside, I kind of like hearing it. Not out of hatred but i like when she’s begging to be let in
>>28638417This sounds like psychopath behavior. My dog is the biggest brat ever and I am always denying him his bullshit, but I dont get pleasure in it.Are you trying to punish them or trying to correct certain behaviors? Thats where I would say the line is between a dog owner and insane person.
I think it's just normal male reaction. It's fun to have control over something weaker and excising this control. With dogs it's extra fun for the same reason why it's fun to do to babies/kids, it's like they have no brain just pure emotions so you control their entire being.
Asshole. Let the dog in or give it to someone who cares.
>Haven't touched a video game in 3 months>Have been going clubbing every weekend for 3 months>Posted pictures of myself on 4chan asking if I was irredeemably ugly, all replies I got told me I wasn't>Have been going to the gym for 2 months>STILL cannot get a girlfriendI don't know what I'm doing wrong
>>28638565I think you might have missed the point of those posts entirely.
>>28638574>sarcasm about how his life hasn't changed because he's ONLY lifted 2 months>second post is just adding sarcasm to that sarcasmI did not miss the point. The point (you) were making is "only two months at the gym is not going to change your life, it takes more time than that to see gains". Keep coping, you will never have a girlfriend (YWNHG)
>lift all throughout college, work hard, do everything right except talk to women>don't get a gf in college, remain a workcel>lose all my gains in grad school, work less hard, just a skinny manlet with a 6/10 face>actually talk to women>get a gfIt's this easy guys. I felt great when I was lifting but you don't need any of that shit. You just need to actually talk to women instead of improooooving.
You need to be speaking to women in your social circle or university specifically, women are autistic as fuck, they cannot handle interaction with new people in any other way.There is no point in clubbing if you're not coming to club with girls or coming to see your friends which brought girls for you to speak to.
>>28638583>The point (you) were making is "only two months at the gym is not going to change your life, it takes more time than that to see gains".No, the point I was trying to make is that celebrating two months at the gym is a little silly and that placing all of the importance on physical fitness when improving yourself is a little shortsighted.OP is describing having "tried to get a GF" for maybe three months tops, and on top of that not once did he say that he actually asked anybody out on a date. I've already had several girlfriends, also.
I’m an eighteen year old Bri’ish autist thinking of necking myself. I know that I’m young, but please hear me out. I am fundamentally unable to connect with people, I have no clue what to say to small talk, general conversation or people just joking around and I haven’t had any friends since I was a kid. I can’t talk to people both offline and online because I’m so jealous of them that it turns into bitterness and if they’re nice to me then I feel like they’re looking down on me or that I deserve it. I never really grew up and when peers started going to parties and getting into relationships, I was happy playing Pokémon. I don’t understand why people my age take themselves so seriously, none of their relationships will last and it all seems like a petty game of seeing who can post the best photos on Instagram. Even among other autists, I’m an outcast.There’s nothing I’m particularly interested in, I used to love games and drawing but I lost interest in games due to starting to daydreaming about people liking me whenever I played them and stopped art because no matter how hard I practiced, I sucked. My parents both immensely pity me and take their anger at the fact that I don’t have a life out on me, and they only reinforce my feeling of inadequacy and that I’m just a child trying to fit in with those leagues above me. My mum has said multiple times that if she was in the same position as me, she’d just kill herself, and I’m starting to think that’s the right way to go. I wish I could connect with at least one person but the idea is so foreign to me that I know there’s not a chance. What do I do? I don’t have money for therapy, either.
OP here, I can’t reply in-depth since I’m late for school but thanks for all of the replies, I really appreciate it.
>>28634271I've been thinking of necking myself due to heartbreak everyday. Sometimes I question what the point of life is.
>>28634301>I think if you could live in the wilderness and tell your storyHe's British. We have no fucking land left. And it doesn't matter when you find one of the unexploited areas because there's nothing to survive on compared to the North America continent and mainland Europe. See how long it takes for you to get arrested or harassed out of your area if you chop down enough timber to build a shelter and start poaching animals. Never mind staying warm in the winter. This country is a hellhole.
>>28634271If almost everyone sucks then why would you care about them?I'm a sigma male with Asperger's syndrome and some time ago I realized that I don't care about annoying girls and most boring guys, I have a few friends (like 2 close friends, 2 good friends and 1 alright frien I talk to sometimes, bur I get 0 bitches, none nothing even though I'm attractive and fit, I lift weights and stuff even though I know my looks alone won't attract a woman, I'm doing it to feel better and it helps, I would neck myself if I was skinny/fat but I managed to motivate myself to exercise in my teens but I spender my childhood on a computer like mang autists did I would like to talk about anime with normies but I have my real friends for that
>>28635744https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pcChH15ZF0&t=Jesus loves you brother and so do I. Most modern people today are hard to connect with, it's not just you. You simply need to find the rare authentic ones.
I'm witnessing some of the saddest shit ever.>be my neighbour's kids>twins. one is a girl other is a boy>their dad died a few months ago because of an accident>mom has cancerMy fiancée and I have been living next to them for years and saw it all happen. I WFH and we babysit them all the time while I'm "working".I was wondering, what's going to happen to them if their mom dies?Also, is their anything I could do to help them feel a bit better? I empathise with their situation since I had close family who had cancer.
>>28637232It doesn't matter. They'll never have their own parents and OP needs to have his own kids who will be starved for attention if these kids are here.
sounds like me. got it after me. twas hard, but i'm good now. no twin tho
>>28638224*behind. like, everyone has to go through it at one point
>>28638224Who took care of you, anon?
>>28636801If they have an extended family they'll take them in, if not they'll be up for adoption, and from what I hear it's not unheard of for siblings to be separated.Talk with their mom, don't be so un-tactful as to go "so what's going to happen when you croak?" but tell her that you and your fiancee are more than willing to do whatever you can to help them out.They need people they can rely on, if you can offer than you'll be a tremendous help.Don't bring up the possibility of you two adopting these kids in the worst case scenario before you confirm there are no extended family willing to help, it'd come off as you trying to snatch her kids up.
How do I learn to draw? Do I just draw until I'm good or should I follow some meme tutorial/technique?
>>28638533Both, though for 'meme tutorial/technique' replace with actual educational material. Oh, and hope you happen to have some talent or it'll be a lot harder to be any good if your goal is to be good.
what are some good gift ideas for my grandma?
>>28638509hammer and chisel
>>28638509PuzzlesDigestive cookies Spend more time with her
I am 27 yo friendless careercell and because my job turns to fully WFO now, i have 4 hours daily commute to my office and i earn ok money i think its finally time to move out. So i seek advice about things i know nothing about like:- how do i find apartment to rent (probably location specific, but give general advice, do i have to call landlords every time and meet them at the place? Are there some hidden costs?)- what do i eat and how to cook it (i dont want to get fat, so i guess whole unprocessed foods. Give me some recipes, fast to make and not boring, maybe you have some recipe websites for cooklets like me? Or general advice for food)- how do i wash my clothes and how often?- where do i meet women? My small town is deadzone so i am so excited to finally have social life in big city! Do i just go to bars and clubs and meet women there? Or do i seek some hobby like things in the city? I know about meetup.com but honestly most of those dont look very interesting, just some networking meetings for other careercels).Other things i forgot about. I would be very glad for any advice!
>>28637221Copy each of those questions separately into Google and be sent to sites offering expert answers
bump
>>28638381read >>28637409
>Work in a burger restaurant (not fast food but only 1 step above McDonald) >The unspoken rule is that the previous shift has to mix the burger sauce at the end of the shift so the next service is ready to go >Work wednesday-friday, the other guy works Tuesday-Saturday >The tuesday shift often mixing the sauce too little, so I have to do it at the beginning of my shift anyway >This happens multiple times >On saturday afternoon, I got a text with cursing and swearing from the tuesday guy >Curse me for mixing the sauce too little for him>mfw I never bitch about it when he did that to me
>>28637328Communication is key. You shouldn't have not said anything, but you also don't need to come at it from a combative standpoint. Just say that you honestly didn't have time. Also, directly say not to curse at you and leave it at that.
>>28637328>getting a text off-shift>acknowledging work off-shift>giving your employer/coworkers your real number>giving a single shit at all, ever, about replacable temporary wage workYou gotta stop.
>>28637609>Just say that you honestly didn't have time.But that is an admission of guilt and this cunt did the same to me and I have never pipe up because it is literally part of the job.
Hello /adv/.I am dating an escort and wish to share some advice with you ATOGA style (there was a monk and a Gaddafi rape victim who made a similar post, so jannies don't.) How many I help you frens?
>>28634931>Is she sober?Yes. She handles her alcohol better than me. She's dragged me home more times than I can remember after a night out.>Does she save her money?She's in debt but she pays insists on paying it all off on her own and refuses my assistance. I do help her out as the quicker she pays it off the quicker she can leave the industry. It's also easier if we decide to get married. She earns way more than I do.>Does she date clients? I'm her first client.>Does she have unstable girlfriends?Way better than mine. They've been got sent. There was a time she got a panick attacks and they were there to look after her on my behalf while I was at work. They regularly visit her. They look after eacher. How good is she at compartmentalizing her job?She's the one who initiates sex and she gets upset when I'm not feeling it. You do what you may with that info.>Most importantly, does she treat you better than she does her clients?Yes lol. She hates it when I leave after visiting her while she's touring.
Serious question, are you sure that you guys are dating and your not just another client?
>>28635262yes.What could constitute me being a client?Does she cook for her clients? Does she buy her clients gifts? Does she let her clients talk to her mother?
>>28634761How do you deal with the shame of knowing that other men are banging your girl every day?
>>28636868We dont talk about it.
So I'm a guy in college and I've been kind of curious about my sexuality lately. I've only ever dated and had sex with women and I know for sure that I am into girls. I love eating and fucking pussy and making out with women and I 100% find women attractive. I can't say I've ever looked at a guy and thought "Wow he is sexy" but I have fantasized about doing gay things like sucking a dick and taking it up the butt. I have also watched gay porn in the past and used dildos/buttplugs on myself. So I think it is possible I could be bisexual and I would like to have a gay experience while I'm still in college, just to see if it's something that I actually enjoy or just a stupid horny fantasy. What is the best way of safely hooking up with a guy? I don't want any STDs and I want it to be with someone I could trust but I'm not interested in dating a man. I also don't know if I could kiss a man, I just want to so sex things with one if that makes sense. I'm attractive and keep in good shape so I don't think getting one interested in me is an issue.
>>28637277I've also considered dating/hooking up with a pre-op tranny but I would want them to comfortably pass and be ok with topping me which I know probably makes up about .0001% of all trannies.
>>28637277depends, are you intending on being the bottom or the top? What would your ideal fantasy of you following through look like? Like, topping a black dude in finland will probably be pretty hard
>>28637291ive sucked off a preop tranny and it still felt really gay. not worth it OPJust go for an amazonian woman and see if she wants to peg you
>>28637402I would probably want to be the bottom. i don't really care about the race of who i'm having sex with as long as it's not some hood nigger who will give me aids. i don't think i would want to fuck another man in the ass but i enjoy the sensation of being penetrated.
>>28637277i think it's awesome you're open to experimenting. people get so hung up on labels. try it, see if you like it.use grindr. but let the person know you're bi and not experienced with men. a lot of guys find that hot, and you'll see there are a lot of guys who feel the same way. as you're attractive and in good shape you don't have to settle for the first person who seems okay. make sure they respect your boundaries and will stop as soon as you want to stop. experimentation has to be comfortable and safe.
>grew up with a broke single mom>lived in an awful single bedroom house for a while >coslept until she got a better house and I got my own room >tfw I remember that I slept nude when summer got unbearable back then I think this affected me a lot than it seems. Growing up like that without any boundaries with a female head made me very feminine in the way I behave. Should I talk to a therapist about it incase it's child abuse and I'm repressing some messed up childhood trauma? I read that a lot of gay fruitcakes like me turned out this way because of something messed up happening in childhood. This thought has been keeping me up at night lately
>>28637687NTA but work insurance covers tons. I get 1k of free massages a year, no copay. Could probably use it for therapy instead but fuck that
>>28637891I've never had anything like that, in fact my job gives me free therapy and legal consultation and all 3 times I tried it was garbage. Idk where you guys are getting this coverage.
>>28638187I should clarify that it's not unlimited, it's like a trial consult.
>>28638187Leafistan
>>28638220That makes sense, I'm in burgertown.
