[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

[Advertise on 4chan]

Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


[Advertise on 4chan]

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: images.png (12 KB, 414x740)
12 KB
12 KB PNG
15 years ago I donated sperm to my lesbian friend and i regret, because despite mi constant attempts to keep a distance between me and my biological child I always end up drawn to her, it's something I can't explain but if i see a cute dress or a ring or a necklace I'm always crossing thought like "that would look good in my daughter" and i know she is not legally "my daughter" but i still love her, i have repressed paternal feelings towards her.

I have always been for her as a "cool uncle" but honestly seeing how is she being raised by two incompetent lesbians breaks my heart, im ready to recognize i fucked up, but it's too late for regretting, back then i only thought "cool i will reproduce without paying for it" And well I was only 21 years old, i wasn't really mature.
My kid "knows" my love and interest for her surpass the intention of a "family friend" but she doesn't know I'm her biological dad, we made an arrangement beforehand to never tell her I was the donor. How do i proceed from here? I know i can't tell her I'm her dad, and I can't raise her the way i would like. My friend is also tired of me being so "clingy" with "her" daughter. The child likes being around me but I'm in no position to tell her the truth or take her live with me.

I'm 36 years old, never married, haven't had other children, i have always been overly narcissistic and never loved anyone, never truly allowed any female in my heart, instead i got obsessed with money and hard work, but my daughter is an exception to the rule, she is my blood and my legacy, i just want the best for her, should i repress these paternal feelings? How could i even do it? I just can't control it. That child looks like my mom, and despite my resentment for my mother I still love my daughter because of their resemblance.

She is indeed my child. And i love her for it, but i know I can tell her so. How would she even react? What if she hates me for it? I just don't know what to do.
78 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26474912
Based on your logic, some random crackhead homeless fuck that happened to have a kid years ago but never took care of that person, have all the right to call that kid his own son.
>>
Speak with your lawyer and find out what your rights are regarding the whole ordeal. Do you think that your parents would welcome her or reject her?
>>
>>26475205
Yeah, but OP is clearly not up to the task.
>>
>>26468111
Your fault for enabling lesbians. Cry more, leave your nutsack at the door.
>>
>>26468998
This is your mind post industrial revolution folks.

I’m a 28 yo female. I am struggling to find a LTR. I’m a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I tried a paid dating website subscription, and asking family if they know anyone to set me up with, but no luck. I’m feeling hopeless. Should I just accept I will be single forever? Any advice?
55 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26477794
Have you ever tried asking them out instead of waiting for them to do literally fucking everything for you
>>
>>26477043
I'm short but I got a full head of hair and fat stacks in the bank and I don't beg for pussy on a anonymous image board..yall are very sad my dude.
>>
File: file (1).jpg (59 KB, 1024x627)
59 KB
59 KB JPG
>>26475756
>boo hoooI'm le lonely femcel :((((
Shut up retarded whore.
As long as you aren't morbidly obese you can literally just make a tinder account and have 50 men at your door in like half an hour.
I fucking hate it when you pieces of shit complain as if you aren't living life on tutorial mode.
Fuck off.
>>
>>26477667
You’re right about the user base being very limited. How do Asian men find women? I’m guessing through social circles since online dating doesn’t seem to be popular among them.
>>26477720
I mentioned this in my other post. I’m very loyal, willing to please, cook, clean. I’m ambitious, and goal driven. I’m not bad looking either, though this is subjective.
>>26477770
I’ve been searching on and off for the past two years. Mostly off to be honest.
>>26477774
Thank you. This is refreshing to know and gives me some hope. I’ll be more open to dating outside my age range.
>>
File: lcbsqs13ul461.jpg (74 KB, 640x800)
74 KB
74 KB JPG
>>26477405
If you really look like her it means your standard are way too high. She is cute and if you have a good personality, you should be crawling under men demands. Something is too strict with your selection process.

my wife and I are in our early 30s. We’ve been together for 8 years, and married for 5. Relationship has been great. But the past two years I’ve noticed her appearance is starting to show quick aging. Obviously I know it’s something she can’t control, but I’m starting to lose my sexual attraction toward her.

Anybody else, men or women been in this spot?
131 replies and 9 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I want to FUCK OP's old hag. OP, give her to me I'll make her feel young again.
>>
>>26473152
THIS.

>have modern childless cringe relationship that only revolves around sex
>it dies off as soon as you get outside of reproduction age
Like pottery
>>
I can't imagine not finding my wife attractive anymore unless she suddenly had some sort of nasty disease taking over her whole body or if she suddenly aged multiple decades at once.
I know it's cliché as fuck but I find her more beautiful every day that we've been together. Maybe you're the problem unless she is outright not taking care of herself at all.
>>
>>26473139
That's a cope brother.
>>
>>26476440
Women are a feral womb-driven beast. They are driven by cocklust and heartbreaking.

My now-ex gf just all-but-dumped me over a petty mistake I made. She said she's uncertain and needs to "think about it" but experience tells me that's almost always a no.
I take full responsibility for what I did, I shouldn't have done it, and I see where she's coming from, but at the same time I'm just praying for a miracle that she'd have a bit of empathy and give me another chance. Most people don't break up over things like this.
I just feel so lost, what can I do?
3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26477692
Dunno bro gf just dumped me for snapping at her overa dumb lie. Anytime there we had an argument she said she wanted to break up. I always begged her to stay, fuck it she's going this time.
>>
>>26477847
Your in love with the idea of her. Your not in love with her. Your blinded by what you think she is not what she really is. She probably treats you like shit and you don't realize it. Take the blinders off kid. IF she really loved you. If she really was that girl she wouldn't be treating you this way.

Take a step back and think about it. She's not one in a million. She's one in a dozen. I can guarantee you, you will meet more like her in your lifetime. Don't give your time, energy, or power to someone who doesn't appreciate it.
>>
>>26477692
What did you do anon, tell us everything.
>>
>>26477847
Let her go or you'll be a cuckboy like me and she'll pull this card every argument for like a year until you realize how bad it is and want her gone. Fuck she bought me MCR tickets too, just knew that show wasn't gonna happen.
>>
She's the first I've ever cried over. Fuck. I can't even listen to that song anymore without getting choked up.

I have ADHD, Epilepsy, can’t stand for longer than 15 minutes without being in pain, can’t drive a car, get motion sick while being in a vehicle, and have sensitivity to light and loud noises. I can’t think of a job I can do.
30 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26476932
NTA = not that anon, not Reddit's "not the asshole"
Lurk more faggot
>>
>>26477760
>>26477757
great to know OP will see that he's a nigger and a drain on society and change his ways. he should have known better than to have been epileptic and to top if off also being a loser. congrats on your good work, gentlemen.
>>
>>26477790

I have Adhd and history of seizures. Along with bipolar disorder. The last two considered disabilities. Employed full time with benefits ADA protects OP and potential employers cannot discriminate hiring someone based on disability. Its a whole legal can of worms to deny based on it.

Ive seen too many people coach others with Adhd on how to sucker the courts to award them disability simply because they dont want to work. By their admission.
>>
>>26474352
You deserve a bullet
>>
go to many doctors and build a record of it. having a well documented case will greatly help in your hearing

>24 year old straight guy
>get called a 7 everywhere and get nice looks from girls in public
>lonely and horny
>make tinder
>get 6 likes in a month
>a handful of matches with hot girls but none of them talk
>see screenshots of guys getting over 100 likes
>observe my landwhale dyke sister get 80 to 100 likes when she opens the app
This shit really blackpills me and now I realise why im an incel.
74 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26475103
You can look like fucking Brad Pitt and still get hardly any likes these days. Online dating is dominated by horny men and half the time your profile won’t even be shown to most women. Stick to IRL dating
>>
Actually put effort into your pictures. I can already tell you put up your ugly autistic selfies and cropped family photos.
>>
>>26477249
Stop spreading this retarded bluepill cope. It has nothing to do with pictures. There is no need to take "professional" photos hoping for a couple more likes.
Chad will take shirtless selfies in the mirror and get a 1,000 of likes. Stacy will take 5 selfies of her tits and ass and get 20000 likes.
>>
>>26475103
They want 28-30 CHAD, not some early 20s twink. Wait for your time to bloom and lift faget
>>
It's really about energy, subconscious things. My friend got laid using only coffee pot as a Tinder-pfp

Have any men here experiences late puberty development somehow?
I’m 25 and just now seeing the first few hairs on my chest.
2 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 3 mo.png (1.09 MB, 1184x999)
1.09 MB
1.09 MB PNG
2/2

It's even more now. I think I'll use it for another 6mo-year and then stop and see if the hairs stay. If you're looking for hair growth check out r/minoxbeards. I highly recommend.
>>
>>26477905
>>26477898
Very interesting. I hate hair on my face though. What side effects have you noticed
>>
>>26477912
Well, it drips down my neck onto my chest so it caused me to grow a few extra chest hairs. I think the worst side effect is hair growth in unwanted areas like my upper cheek and ear lobes. But I have a $200 laser hair removal tool for this which has been working good. I think it may have caused a couple headaches but can't confirm. It actually helps a lot with acne. I don't get pimples on the areas I apply it anymore and it helps my pimples heal quickly if I rub a little drop on them.

Again, would highly recommend to anyone looking for hair growth. Even though you don't like hair, patchy growth is cringe and unattractive. I actually shave daily but it's nice to have a real mans stubble at the end of the day.
>>
>>26477867
Some men are different. If you have a lack of hair its usually a testosterone issue. Get those checked.
>>
>>26477948
I’ve had multiple checks for different reasons before. I am high test.

File: file.jpg (38 KB, 800x533)
38 KB
38 KB JPG
I'm 19 and I'm a NEET who's had no friends where I live for 4 years. I have this image of an ideal life stuck in my head. The fact that some parts of this ideal life is unattainable and/or risky makes me feel depressed and kinda suicidal. I basically feel like neck roping because the "fantasy" life where I experience the things I've always wanted to is unattainable. Why am I stuck in this mindset and what should I do?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26477787
Learn, apply, adapt, create, decide.
>>
>>26477787
You came of age during a recession
You had multiple years of lockdowns
Once you get over this hill things will get easier.
>>
>>26477787
Analyze why you like it, why you feel it's unattainable, and how you can bring those core elements that you believe you'll enjoy about it into your life. I can't jump into the sky and fly but if I start taking 2 person small aircraft lessons I sure the fuck feel the air on my face.
>>
>>26477787
Describe the fantasy life because I have a feeling I know what it is somewhat.
>>
>>26477787
You suffer because there is something you want but think you can't get.
What's your ideal life like? What's the core elements of it that you think would make you happy?

I can’t fucking take this shit anymore. I’ve tired multiple different meds, meditation, exposure therapy, etc and nothing has even remotely helped. I can’t eat, sleep, drink, charge my phone, shower, put on clothes, clock in to work, start my car, etc without being bombarded with intrusive thoughts that ruin and contaminate anything I do. What can I even do at this point? Can I sell my soul to the devil? Can I give myself amnesia to forget I have OCD? Or is blowing my brains out my only option at this point?
29 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26473879
Sounds like you need a priest
>>
>>26473879
stop doing compulsions. If anyone tells you there is another way they are lying.
>>
>>26476975
>stop doing compulsions
I’ve tried so many times but the anxiety always gets the best of me.
>>
Bump
>>
>>26473879
Do you live with your parents? Parenting dynamics can be a huge contributor to ocd. With exposure therapy hold the intrusive thought until the guilt feedback loop slightly wanes then switch focus to something else. Get a hobby for you to obsess over.

File: 1424462066567.jpg (12 KB, 201x199)
12 KB
12 KB JPG
Started seeking therapy for my fear of sex and intimidation surrounding it, mostly at the root of a series of unfortunate events that happened to me. Basically it boils down to me getting unlucky and now I have a major problem that I can't fix on my own. Now THIS is its own complex. How do I cope with this? The fact that I was just cursed by fate to not be a normal functional person?
>>
Maybe you don't need sex or to get over the phobia? Is sex/children a requirement for you?
>>
>>26477866
While I DO want to have sex, I also want a romantic relationship with somebody at some point, and this simply can't happen if I can't have sex.
>>
>>26477877
>>26477829
getting over trauma sort of requires post-traumatic growth. trauma hurts so much because it disrupts our sense of self and understanding of the world. first (if you've gone through all the feelings) you need to recover the lost sense of self. try to figure out if there are any aspects of who you are that seemed to go away after the trauma or haven't returned. be specific and then take action to recover those aspects. from there you need to work on post-traumatic growth. this involves first making sense of the trauma with your beliefs and then discovering meaning and benefits to it.

so lets say you get into a car accident. you feel the feelings first. then you realize you're less adventurous because you've become paranoid about travel. you start going on trips to recover that sense of self. then you find that the meaning of the car accident was that hey sometimes you can die out of the blue, the benefit was that you learned to overcome your anxiety. that sort of thing. this takes months. i've had a lot of trauma so one is just summarized here.
>>
>>26477877
There are other asexuals. They may be difficult to find (a normal partner is hard to find) but it's not impossible. I've met a handful, even flirted with a few.
>>
It's probably because your parents installed that idea in your mind that premarital sex is wrong so you can't even socialize with women without feeling guilty

File: FKe0tobXMAEarWL.jpg (94 KB, 1241x1187)
94 KB
94 KB JPG
My best friend who I've wanted to date for three years now suggested that we move in together and get an apartment, just me and her. Is that possibly a sign that she is into me?
>>
File: image0-3-1.png (1.11 MB, 828x809)
1.11 MB
1.11 MB PNG
maybe
>>
Just fucking ask her out you fucking coward stop being a pussy

File: head.jpg (377 KB, 1440x1440)
377 KB
377 KB JPG
As an East Asian 3rd worlder (take a guess), what's the easiest 1st world country to move to, anywhere suffice, and spend the rest of my life there?
I'm 19, CS student. I would say I'm decent in brain, personally assessing, and I don't mind studying another language. I just don't want to rot here man, I hate this place.
15 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26476751
>As an East Asian 3rd worlder (take a guess),
specify if you want actual advice
>>
>>26477834
it's Vietnam.
>>
>>26477838
What do you think of Ho Chi Minh?
>>
>>26477896
If you talk about the city, I've been here my whole life and it's the reason why I want out.
If you talk about the man, I think he's great, like super duper great, absolutely great, like the greatest.
>>
Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark.

I think Norway might be your best bet since it's the richest of these countries.

There's welfare systems in these countries which would make it easy to move in

File: 00pijzkr6lg71.jpg (56 KB, 640x591)
56 KB
56 KB JPG
I'm a guy and just had to get HIV short term prevention meds because a guy fucked me while I was plastered drunk. He didn't outright rape me, but I believe he might have taken off his condom at some point. Don't know if he came.

It's not a thing where I'd report him for rape, because I went over there knowing he was gay and interested, we talked about him using protection, we talked about how he was tested and disease free... but that wasn't an invite for him to go at it while I was basically passed out.

I don't plan on ever doing anything like that again, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Is my insurance going to always consider me a person who has sex with other men now, or can I claim it was out of my hands once I test negative for HIV?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26477688
fag
>>
>"Kinda" Sexually Assaulted
>I'm a guy
stopped reading there; guys cant be sexually assaulted and even if you could you would deserve it
>>
>>26477688
>but that wasn't an invite for him to go at it while I was basically passed out.
You were raped.

>Is my insurance going to always consider me a person who has sex with other men now
Why does that matter? Why do they know? Shouldn't this fall under doctor confidentiality?
>>
>>26477773
>Why does that matter? Why do they know? Shouldn't this fall under doctor confidentiality?
Because of the prescription, I think...
>>
>>26477688
You were raped in this guy is a predator. I don't know if you're like an American who doesn't really understand homosexuality but the rules are the same for man on man stuff as woman on woman stuff pretty much. If you're going over to someone's house and you've talked about having sex and you get drunk and pass out you're not allowed to have sex with a woman or a man in those circumstances. This guy's a predator and it's your civic duty to ensure he's prosecuted for sexual assault.

Is it bad that I have no problem cutting ties with literally anyone? Every time I move, or leave a job or stop doing certain things I genuinely have no feelings about the people I used to know. I don't miss them, I don't care about them anymore and I don't want to talk to them. This wasn't really a problem in my life until a family member stopped talking to my whole family and everyone else is feeling really emotional over it but I still just don't care. I just don't think about them or miss them at all. I just accept that they're gone and don't worry about it. Is this bad? Is there something wrong with me? I haven't been diagnosed but I've been told a lot that I probably have aspergers so I dunno.
>>
A friend of mine doesn’t respond to me since he left two years ago. I understand it’s just his personality and don’t hold it against him, but I still miss him.
>>
Is anyone from those past lives trying to connect with you? No? Didn’t think so. All pretty normal
>>
No, I wish I could do what you could do.
>>
At the same time, there are probably people who do miss you. It's your life, you can not care if you want, but if other people care about and you don't care about them, don't be surprised if they think you're a dick.
>>
>>26476407
You sound like my dad. He tells a story about how he went onto University and he had a really good friend that he'd grown up with. This good friend says to him you know I'm really going to miss you when you go to university. My dad just looks at him and says well I'm sure there'll be other people at University so I can't say I feel the same way. It's not autism or Asperger's per se those people can often form quite intense relationships to people and be quite perturbed about alterations in presence or scheduling. It sounds more like some sort of psychopathy where you don't really form relationships with people or you know it could also be schizotypal personality because that often involves keeping people at a distance. I mean it doesn't really matter unless there's some functional impact to your family life or your social life or something. If it doesn't bother you just be really happy. My father nearly destroyed our family with a cocaine addiction and with overdoses and with selling his half of the house and making my mom take out another mortgage to keep us from being homeless. He literally doesn't give any fucks about any of this. For a while I thought it was that he was secretly ashamed of his behavior but after I lived with him for a period of time he left when I was five, I realized it's not that he is ashamed and wishes he could behave more normally it's that he literally does not care. You don't sound as bad as him but I'd stay away from cocaine and head injuries.

File: 1650613311577.jpg (157 KB, 1080x1174)
157 KB
157 KB JPG
So I'm currently in the process of self improving to try and get a gf or at least have sex without paying. I've posted my face here before an asked for a face rating on fiver, so I know what areas to improve on physically but I still suck at talking to women and honestly people in general, so are there any resource I can use for talking to women for a sexual relationship?
pic unrelated
10 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26476849
This is a tarp but hey, I just came back from the gym so sorry I'm late
>>
>>26476317
A self conscious thirstbro you have much more growing to do
>>
>>26476317
>have sex without paying
You're still paying
>>
>>26476317
Do you mean talking to or approaching? Talking is simple: just ask them about themselves and maybe gently tease them a bit depending on how into the conversation they are. That’s literally it. Everyone wants to talk about themselves, guys too, but guys come up with weird ways of threading in anecdotes and strange facts to try and weave themselves into the conversation as the center of attention. Girls do that less and rely on being asked more, so you should ask them. Most guys don’t really understand this and talk about themselves too much
>>
>>26476380
old-school PUA is the way to go 2bh, ignore the inevitable angry redditors who will show up now that PUA has been mentioned




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.