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This board is for author-driven collaborative storytelling (i.e., "Quests"). In a quest there is a single author who controls the plot of the story and who drives the creative process. They can choose to take suggestions from other posters, or not, at their sole discretion. Quests can be text-based, image-based, or a combination of the two. Drawfaggotry is strongly encouraged!

To facilitate the author-driven nature of quests, /qst/ differs significantly from other boards in that the OP of a thread is considered the quest's author, and has some basic text formatting abilities: [b], [i], and color tags [red], [green], and [blue]. Therefore, only those people willing to put in the effort to be a quest author should post threads. If you do not intend to run a collaborative story, do not post a thread here! This includes meta-threads.

Dice rolling follows /tg/'s format (e.g., "dice+2d6" without the quotes in the options field rolls 2d6).
>>
Current board settings:

Anyone can post images.
Anyone can use painter.
Anyone can use dice & spoilers.
Only OP can use text formatting.
3000 character limit.
750 bump limit.
Decreased post timer to match /tg/ (30 seconds for text, 60 seconds for an image reply).
Automatic permasage after 72 hours.
Thread specific user IDs.
Max threads per IP is 5.
Standard 7 day internal archive.

You are Wesley Keki, NEET in training and billboard.

PREVIOUSLY:
-You got asked to homecoming by Will Levy, Amber's idiot best friend. He wants to keep his parents off the trail of his rampant homosexuality. Not the kind of problem you'd ever have.
-Your mothers had an argument about something. You're not sure what it was, but it somehow seemed to be about you.
-Your sister Ophelia began her her first job. She's a waitress at Shake 'em Up, the restaurant chain Aunt Whitney owns.
-Amber dragged you there to see how Ophie was adjusting. You didn't want to go, because your tomboy hanger-on Summer is working there too. As expected, Summer was acting weird again.
-When Amber found out that Summer had been texting you certain unchaste photos, she did her best to instigate an outburst. It worked. Not even Amelia, a manager at the diner who's taken a shine to you, could stop you getting beaten up twice in a row.
-Summer berated you for breaking her trust, then threatened you over leaving her on read.
-At school, Amber sent you some unchaste texts of her own, which led inevitably to fooling around in your bedroom later on. Amber got a bit domineering, and your mothers almost caught you.
-Amber forced the issue between you and Summer, sending... certain messages... on your behalf.
-Summer took the bait. Although she seemed to be her normal airheaded self the next time you saw her at school, she attacked you the very first moment she got you alone again. You can't say you didn't kinda like it...

AND NOW, EPISODE 2 OF WESLEY'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE:
"How Heavy are the Softballs You Pitch?"
189 replies and 47 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>4753828
You make a compelling point.

>>4753820
>[x] Check out Ophie and Talia's band practice.

>>4753831
Nighto, OP. Good thread!
>>
>>4753815
Is this where we slide in and pick up M.*

>>4753820
>[X] Go get raped by Summer
>>
>>4753831
Thanks for everything OP, until next time!
>>
>>4753831
Thanks for running, OP-sama! See you soon!
>>
>>4753815
>That was 10 or 15 girlfriends ago. Marceline... Marianne? No. Mariko? Hmm. Mo...lybdenum?
Ah yes, Molly D. Heard she gets real slippery.

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The Grail War continues, and you're about to face off against Yamata-no-Orochi, the god that your grandfather summoned into himself in a mad bid for revenge against you.

You are Shinji Makiri, Ten years ago you suddenly found yourself with the memories of a complete past life that saw this world as a fictional story due to some unprecedented form of inter-dimensional transportation. Since that day, your new composite being has been working to change the grim future laid out for you.

To that end, you have done much, involving yourself with events and situations that have shifted the future away from the one that you once would have faced and instead onto one of uncertainty and chaos.

The Fifth Holy Grail War lies ahead of you, and the challenge and danger it represents to you, the people you care for and the world itself is far greater than you could have ever predicted. Though the grail might be corrupted and the war itself might be a sham, the stakes couldn't be higher.

Archive of Paradox Reincarnator: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Fate/Paradox%20Reincarnator
General QM Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=WhatIsAQM
Status Menu: https://pastebin.com/AcNswEHq
Shinji Status Page: https://pastebin.com/a6fiNxrZ
My Twitter: https://twitter.com/WhatIsAQM

Last Thread: >>4747569
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>>4753248
Switching >>4753283 to >>4753632
I have been convinced we should help Vritra gain what she lacks. I don't see why WhatIs would veto this, I think it's the kind of autism he enjoys. And studying zoroastrianism for an afternoon is entirely in character for Shinji. Might be tough for him to figure out how it will affect her though.
>>
>>4753801
Isnt mushin more of what we know today as flow?
>>
Oh and I don't think it will fundamentally alter her personality. Just make her more... her, with no missing pieces.
>>
>>4753816
Yeah, the wikipedia article on asha was only created in 2006 if i'm reading this right.
>>
>>4753807
I mean.....I guess? Saver from Extra exists. Referred to as a Deva caable of administering something on the level of a Solar System. Solar Systtem is important in nasu cosmology for some reason, as timeline proliferation could end with the collapse of the Solar System if unchecked, due to information density/resource usage iirc.

See Trichiliocosm, as around that many Solar Systems/stars can be simulated probably by the Human Order as of present day. Someone calced it I seem to remember, based on Extella.
Of the carrying capacity of the Human Order per given timeline the following is given.

"That is to say, the ceaseless proliferation of Adjacent Realities may eventually exceed the capacity of the Dimension.

Adjacent Realities are as a necessary existence, but they cannot be let to [enter into] excess.

It's a very rough estimation, but should the Earth persist at its present level of civilization for another century, it's likely that the Solar System will rupture

However, the reality is that we live and multiply.
The Solar System hasn't yet dissolved, ( lit. "ease / loosen / relax / alleviate") per the volume of data [generated], and it's likely that it could as of the present manner persist for another hundred million years. "


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You are an ordinary High School Senior. Its the beginning of your final year at school, and when the time comes around to choose clubs you decide on the Occult Research club, hoping to use the joke of a club as extra study time. You are expected to get into college, after all.
But just for fun, what kind of paranormal things are youinterested in?
>Magic
>Demon summoning
>Psychic phenomenon
>Aliens
>Monsters (Pick favorite:Vampires, Werewolves, Write in)
>Write In
36 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>4748721
+1
>>
Sorry for the wait bros. Been a busy couple days. I'll to a little bit more posting tonight, but I should be way more active on Tuesday and Sunday. Anyway, lets get back to our schizophrenic adventures....

You decide that its time to get in shape. If you want to participate in the uprising then you'll need to be physically fit. You'll jog through an area you haven't been to before, that way any possible Feds or stalkers won't be able to trail you as easily.

You begin the jog making your way into the not too far off business district of your town. Your mother takes you shopping here some times, but you never really bothered to come around here on your own.
Other students are around, buying things on their ways home. There's also people who have gotten off of work early. Your jog takes a few twists and turns, and you look back occasionally to verify no one is following. Everything seems clear. Unfortunately, you yourself are now lost.

You try to make your way to a road that seems familiar, but no dice. You would check your phone, but you only carry burners to keep from being tracked. Its starting to get dark as you wander about, trying to get your bearings. You continue checking that no one is following.
No one is following.
There's no body around.
It seems like the normally busy area is now clear, and you don't hear any activity either. Its currently dark, and you're alone. You know that something isn't right.

>Call out for assistance
>Continue wandering around until you find your way home
>Write in.
>>
>>4753587
>Write in.
Nobody is around?

Let's start putting up posters about the alien menaces. Without anyone around to see who's putting them up, we can get the word out and avoid Fed attention.
>>
>>4753587
>Write in.
Let's look to the STARS! Maybe they can guide us home!
>>
>>4753587
>Continue wandering around until you find your way home

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Welcome to /qtg/, a place to argue about quests. Levelhead edition.

>What is a quest?
An interactive story in which the Quest Master writes and provides the readers with options on how to proceed. Dice may or may not be included.

Useful links:
>https://pastebin.com/2T37iDFQ
An old collection of advice and guides. It is worth a look for a new QM.

Archive of quest reviews:
>http://pastebin.com/u/QuestReviewsArchive

Quest discord:
https://discord.gg/Maxs3ae44D


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>>4753403
That would be great most likely, although the QM would probably want to think about implementing C.C. into the story too, or maybe not since people would instantly just waifu her
As God intended
>>
>>4753413
Oh damn. Thanks anon.
>>
>>4753403
I'll run it after Joffrey Quest
>>
It's been a while since I was really on /qst/, but is there much room for quests where updates are done once daily, rather than big hours long sessions every couple days? My job is fucking killing me and I would love some kind of outlet, even if my writing probably sucks dicks
>>
>>4753817
Absolutely. One of the best quests on the board (which should resume in approx 1 - 2 weeks) updates only once per day. The updates a usually fairly chunky and worthwhile. For general advice though I'd suggest having more than one update on the first day you run if possible

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>“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”

Wretched creature, you curse the man who rendered you this despicable form! With every emotion your body twists monstrously and it's a wonder you've remained in one piece. By all measures, and in the eyes of god, death would be preferable to this nightmarish fate...

"-NO!"

While he walks and breathes free, you will not rest, you swear it! Justice, revenge, perhaps even remedy? Whatever it is, you won't just give up here!

Although, the angry mob that seems to be gathering outside may have something to say about that... stumbling around the abandoned laboratory, you try to calm your distorted mind enough to think of what to do. Some sort of desperate plan that will enable you to survive, in this open-ended dark fantasy world.

>What do you do?
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>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4753685
So we can sort of shapeshift to a degree? Lets use the mirror as a reference and practice shapeshifting. Perhaps, there might be the slightest chance we'll be able to one day turn back to normal?
>>
>>4753748
It may be that you could shapeshift, yes, but mutating isn't something you can just do at will, as far as you are aware. It happens more like a response to stress, trauma or harm. Be it physical or emotional, like a defense mechanism.

So while you can cause yourself to mutate, it would be more like, you hit your hand with a hammer and a mutation occurs, rather than you will it to occur.
>>
>>4753685
>Get revenge on victor after everything we and our family did for him supporting him all that time, money and dedication ...Love[/ spoiler] threw us to the side for no reason likely going to marry some high noble woman or a princess and be loved and adored living the high life be written into the history books for his genius OUR GENIUS WORK THAT HE THEN CHEATED ON BY USING MAGIC
>>4753687

I am digging the idea of having like a second head grow out of our back over us like trying to like preserve our womanly form and face by being like growing out of its torso and also two heads is better then one and will let us speak while also having a second head made purely for function with teeth to break all with a breath of fire
>>
>>4753775
Whoops i broke the spoiler SPIKE DIES! test
>>
>>4753761
Do we could literally forge ourself a arm sword

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WELCOME TO ASHFORD QUEST: A FORGOTTEN UMBRELLA TALE

(This quest will focus on The Ashford family in the events prior to the fall of Umbrella and the Resident evil games, as so main game plot points will be minimal. You will be playing the son of Earl Alexander Ashford through his adolescence and hopefully adult life)

The Year is 1981.you are Andrew Ashford,16 years old bastard son of Earl Alexander Ashford. Though a bastard, until 6 years ago you were his presumed heir but that all changed with the birth of the twins: Alexia and Alfred. They were quickly declared Alexander trueborn children and promptly outranked you in the succession line. To make matters worse Alexia,at merely 10 years old has proved to possess a intellect beyond scope and has quickly climbed the prestige ladder of Umbrella corporation. Despite this changes, your father still treats you with affection and regularly sends you letters and gifts from his family seat at Rockfort Island or from his Antarctic research station. But this week something unexpected happened. Alexander has summoned you urgently to Rockfort Island without further explanation. Its rare for you to set foot on the island outside of holydays and right now it is the middle of the school year, but you elect to board the private plane sent to fetch you and travel to the remote island to meet your father as soon as possible.

choose IQ and insanity(will affect gameplay):

>100 IQ and zero insanity.You are of average intellect and strong mental health. You Study at a regular boarding school for the wealthy and is a decent student. You know very little about your father works and what Umbrella does outside of public eyes. For all intents and purposes you are a normal rich kid with a distant but affectionate Father.

>130 IQ and low insanity.You were born gifted with a high intellect placing you easily in the top 5% of the population.Thanks to this you have attended prestigious schools and is set to enter college ahead of schedule next year before even turning 17.Your mental health is a bit fragile though leaving you suffering from occasional lapses of conscience and rage.You know your father is a geneticist and your grandfather was a virologist working for Umbrella.You know Umbrella has some weapons and virus research but apart from this you are not really aware of any more details.

>160 IQ and moderate insanity. For all intents and purposes you are a Genius(though no match to Birkin or your half-sister Alexia). You managed to enter University at 15 years old and have been breezing through ever since. Your mental health is a concern tough. You have displayed all sorts of disorders, from sociopathic tendencies and convulsions to brief amnesias. You have ample knowledge of your father and Umbrella works and is aware of the the T-virus, Progenitor virus and others. Though not a Umbrella employee yet, you are on fast pace to become one of his researchers in the future if you so wish.
>>
>>4753526
>130 IQ and low insanity.You were born gifted with a high intellect placing you easily in the top 5% of the population.Thanks to this you have attended prestigious schools and is set to enter college ahead of schedule next year before even turning 17.Your mental health is a bit fragile though leaving you suffering from occasional lapses of conscience and rage.You know your father is a geneticist and your grandfather was a virologist working for Umbrella.You know Umbrella has some weapons and virus research but apart from this you are not really aware of any more details.
>>
>>4753526
>160 IQ and moderate insanity. For all intents and purposes you are a Genius(though no match to Birkin or your half-sister Alexia). You managed to enter University at 15 years old and have been breezing through ever since. Your mental health is a concern tough. You have displayed all sorts of disorders, from sociopathic tendencies and convulsions to brief amnesias. You have ample knowledge of your father and Umbrella works and is aware of the the T-virus, Progenitor virus and others. Though not a Umbrella employee yet, you are on fast pace to become one of his researchers in the future if you so wish.
>>
>>4753526
>>100 IQ and zero insanity.You are of average intellect and strong mental health. You Study at a regular boarding school for the wealthy and is a decent student. You know very little about your father works and what Umbrella does outside of public eyes. For all intents and purposes you are a normal rich kid with a distant but affectionate Father.
>>
>>4753526
>130 IQ and low insanity. You were born gifted with a high intellect placing you easily in the top 5% of the population. Thanks to this, you have attended prestigious schools and are set to enter college ahead of schedule next year before even turning 17. Your mental health is a bit fragile though, leaving you suffering from occasional lapses of conscience and rage. You know your father is a geneticist and your grandfather was a virologist working for Umbrella. You know Umbrella has some weapons and virus research but apart from this you are not really aware of any more details.
>>
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>>4753655
>>4753622
>>4753578
>>4753576

130 IQ- Low insanity selected

You board the private jet and it soon sets flight to the remote pacific island of Rockfort. Only you,the pilot,the copilot and your fathers Butler/Assistant Scot Harman are aboard.Outside the plane a strong rain hits the fuselage,not a uncommon occurrence when flying over Britain.You have made this flight many times,but never at this time of the year.Its also curious that father has sent the butler to fetch you when he rarely leaves the Ashford estate. You have a couple of hours to kill so you could take a nap, or speak to one of the man aboard.

> read and sleep it off until destination
>Talk to the Mr. Harman
>Talk to the Pilots/Copilot
>Other(?)

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You wake up groggily to the sound of waves crashing against the shore. As you sit up, you see that you are on a sandy beach, surrounded by vast ruins made of concrete and black metal. You feel a dull pain in your head, and reach up with your hand to where it aches the worst. You instantly feel what seems like a small dent on your forehead.

Something is wrong. You try to think back, but all of your memories are foggy. In fact, you can’t even remember who you are. You concentrate, and try your best to remember.

SELECT CHARACTER (Vote for ONE)
>You remember planes, lots and lots of planes. You remember hearing the roar radial engines as flights of your aircraft took off from your runways to fight the enemy. They never came back. Instead, what returned was a hailstorm of bombs. (Airfield Princess. Starts with a free runway with some low tier fighters and bombers. New airfields are cheaper and built quicker, while land-based airplanes are also 50% cheaper to use and produce.)
>You remember a battle line of ships, each ready and awaiting your command. When the enemy came, your ships engaged valiantly, but valor was not enough. The enemy had more tonnage than you could hope to bring to bear, and sunk everything. The ensuing bombardment flattened everything. (Harbor Princess. Starts with ship building equipment and facilities. Ships build a turn faster, and cost one resource less to produce.)
>You remember telling everyone to go back, but everyone kept wanting to visit. So, got a 14 Inch gun. When that was not enough, you got more gun. Soon you were surrounded by enough shore batteries and anti-aircraft guns to keep them all away. Then there was a huge explosion, and everything disappeared. (Northern Princess. Starts with one anti air battery, one shore battery, and level one ground forces. Land based defenses are 50% off, and receive 1 additional resources base per turn.
>Write in? (Bonuses will be added that are balanced)

SELECT DIFFICULTY (Vote for ONE, no write ins.)
>Normal (Fights will be tough but fair. Resources received will be fair. Bad decisions and unlucky rolls can generally be recovered from.)
>Hard (Fights will be unfair, but manageable. Recourses received will be reduced. Bad decisions and unlucky rolls can be crippling, but are not usually game ending.)
>Admiral Rozhestvensky (Everything has been set up to lead towards disaster. You will generally be both heavily outgunned and outnumbered. Nothing but luck and creativity will save you.)
18 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Will check votes in 10 hours and update within 12. I hope to get 2-3 good updates done within the next 24 hours.
>>
>>4753640
>>>Stop, listen, and apologize.
>>
>>4753640
Stop and listen.
Don't apologize to your inferior unless you seriously fail them.
>>
>>4753640
>Put her on your head and explore the area.
Walk and talk.
>>
>>4753640
>>Drop the fairy (gently) and explore to surrounding ruins.

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Welcome to the beautiful world of Technocracy Mirage! Maybe not beautiful in the traditional sense, but it certainly has its charm. The year is 21XY, and it's a smoggy day here in megalopolitan Lungsoot. Or so you assume. You haven't looked outside since you woke up. Speaking of you, who exactly are you?

---

Be gentle, it's my first quest! I'm not great at art but I'll try to update as fast as possible. Hope you guys like cyberpunk.
72 replies and 19 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>4753257
Look at the high-heelies
>>
>>4753266
Writing this, we'll take a look at the whole display. Feel free to keep suggesting things though guys.
>>
>>4753257
Is that a block of cheese?
>Enquire about triangle, attempt to obtain if cheese
>>
>>4753542
Supporting this specific line of inquiry.
>>
>>4753257
>>4753266
+1
high-heelies are dope

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Welcome to Fallout Nukaloha, a fallout inspired quest set 250-ish years after the Great War in a post-post-apocalyptic Hawaii.

Surf-Rock, radioactive pirates, ghoulish hula dancers, mutated sharks, and all kinds of freaky shit wait for you here!

>Summary:
You are Diego Buenaventura, a journalist from San Francisco that was shanghaied by Raiders and taken all the way to Hawaii to be sold into slavery. Too many things have happened since your arrival more than a year ago. All what matters now is that this wasteland is broken, a hellish place on the verge of absolute war, it was bathed in fire once, and it will soon be bathed in blood. You have lived in the NCR, you know that peace and democracy can be brought to the wastes, there's still hope for this once paradisaical archipelago. You have recently learned that your encounters with Daphne, a woman that you romanced shortly after your arrival, resulted in her getting pregnant and giving birth to two babies, Pukalani and Kailani Your children, along with many other kids, were then kidnapped by the High Evolutionary, a small secretive faction of Super-Mutants that rule the big island of Hawai'i and are considered gods among the tribals and raiders that inhabit it.

You are now exploring the island searching for the mysterious "Fortress" where the High Evolutionary rule from. Thankfully you aren't alone, you are accompanied by JC, a Securitron militaristic robot that like you was brought here from mainland, Juniper, an androgynous and odd yet charming airplane pilot, and Maggot, a mutated raider that joined you and has been acting like a douchebag since his arrival.

> Character sheet:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17h2Zm77a7A6MuvcRf4QdBZ-agS7B90SsgInJJ-O9COA/edit

> Pre-War thread:
>>4703844


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>>4752906

Limping slightly you walk back onto the same building where you slept, Maggot, Jun and JC follow you behind. You aren't damaged, only completely exhausted and bruised from forcing your muscles to push and move the armor around. The rest are also covered in soot and blood, with small bruises and cuts, but overall they are all fine. One by one you all slump on the couches and the floor. Maggot instantly fall asleep, Juniper opens a bottle of Nuka-Cola and starts checking her boy for wounds, JC connects to an outlet and his screen goes black, you simply get out of the armor and lie on the cold floor, idly looking at the ceiling.

"We... we won!" Saint's artificial voice suddenly chimes from across the speakers. "How... how can I pay you all?"

"Just..." You say in a whisper, too tired to speak properly. "Just let us rest. We will talk tomorrow." And after saying this, you instantly fall asleep.

Another dreamless night, another day where your children are at the mercy of their captors.

Saint once more prepares coffee, and he somehow once more makes a brewer explode, he too tries relentlessly opening the windows and putting on music, and he too fails. But at least the gesture is nice.

"So. You will be leaving today?" The AI asks, kinda disappointed really.

"We have to travel to the Fortress." You reply. "Any idea of where it is? We have a map but it doesn't says where it is, all we know that its north."

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>>4752917

"We appreciate it, honestly any help will be welcome. What's on your mind?" You say as you grab the cup and use your fingers to see if there's truly any human remains or blood in there.

"Well, there are still a few satellites orbiting around earth. I don't know where the Fortress is because it's a post-war location, and all of my maps are outdated. Perhaps I could link with one of those satellites and get you the exact coordinates of where you need to go. Hacking into these satellites will be hard, most will be military, some might even be chinese, who knows what kind of nasty viruses they might have for intruders like me. I could do it, but it will be painful. The second reward would be lending you several of my warrior bots, a small army at your disposal. The third reward would be a small sliver of myself, you see during all my years of solitude I tried over and over to build myself a friend, another AI to talk with, but they all lacked, a human component, they were either too robotic and cold or too identical to me. I only became who I am because I learned from another humans, and those Artificial Intelligences that I created had no human input to grow and learn from, they were unfinished. I reabsorbed most of them, but I could create another one that I could give to you Diego, it would be installed on your armor and would help you dispense med-x and stimpaks automatically, would help you if you suffer from more Overheating problems and could even take control of the armor and fight or travel for you. Travelling with you it would learn and become more and more humane. When you are done if you want you could return it here so I can have a friend... but your choice really."

"Mmmh..." You say, thinking which one should you pick. Clearly they all are small sacrifices to him. Reaching the satellites might hurt or even destroy him. Giving you part of his army would leave him almost defenceless and giving you the AI would literally cut a piece of himself and give it to you.

> Choose the location of the Fortress.
> Choose the Robotic bodyguards.
> Choose the AI.
> Other options, write in.
>>
>>4752921
>> Choose the AI.
Oh hey, we are back. That was pretty awesome.
>>
Seconding the AI.

We should have the robots burn all the remains in and around the compound while we take the sewers back to the beach to land our plane in the town. That way we can escape back to a closer location if need be, one that is guarded as well.
>>
>>4752921
>>4752936
>>4753363
+1, grill the bodies and let's get our plane in here.
Can we leave JC until we return so he can teach Saint how to fix bots by himself? It's also kinda in our interest to make him self-sufficient. Ignore if he can do it already, it just never came up.

>>4752906
Diego Buenamatanza lol
I hope AI still manages to fix this place up eventually.

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The Archduke of Strossvald was in a sorry state of late. He was never a man who stood as tall as before once he had grown old, but the death of his heir, his last son, weighed heavily upon him. Minister of Defense Keidel Von Stropfe came to see the ruler of Strossvald’s united duchies for matters of national strategy, but when he bent in recognition of whom he served, he couldn’t help but see that the man sat with the same weight in his chair as had grown on his eyes, his cheeks. A discomforting air- and one he could not stop seeing as he gave the Archduke his analysis of the present situation.

“My lord,” the Minister said heavily, though the news he had brought was not dire nor unexpected in any way, he leaned upon his cane as though to try and bear some of the weight of what the Archduke seemed to have pressing down upon him, “The development in the new state of Almize is preceding apace of what the Intelligence Office has planned, but Von Forsgildr is stating that he cannot provide the requested amount of troops with present relations being what they are with Netilland. With the current trend both in Plisseau as well as what is happening between Netilland and their enemies, I doubt Von Forsgildr will be able to provide the commitment required of him any time soon. Another territorial lord must be made to commit to supplement the planned deployments, including that of the Army of Strossvald, else my analysts predict that Almizea will not weather the coming conflict over its sovereignty…”

“Hmm.” The Archduke frowned slightly, but was paying this little thought, “Select who you wish. Or have a volunteer step forward. It matters not.”

Von Stropfe swallowed hard and rocked on his cane. “My lord, such is the decision expected of you. A decision of importance. To make this a matter of competition between lords invites delay that the Intelligence Office claims to not be acceptable-“

“What? Is it not part of the Office’s master plan?” the Archduke scoffed and leaned upon an arm, “The new tensions were sparked by some fool agent of theirs, yet they claim that was completely part of their calculations. Willen could trip over his own shoelaces and he would claim it was all his flawless scheme. If you wish my decision, then that is it.”
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>>4752865
>>If nobody else was volunteering, there was good reason for you to not do so. Bad luck, little Von Rotehof, but this was how it was.
Theres glory to be won yet. Conserve our strength for the breakthrough instead of wasting it in the grinder.
>>
>>4752865
>>Hell, why not? You could handle whatever trouble there might be. It’d be no problem at all. Volunteer to go with the younger Von Rotehof.
Just simple infantry support, we'll pull out if things get hairy.
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>>4752865
>why not? You could handle whatever trouble there might be. It’d be no problem at all. Volunteer to go with the younger Von Rotehof.
>>
>>4752865
>If nobody else was volunteering, there was good reason for you to not do so. Bad luck, little Von Rotehof, but this was how it was.
So we'll get no support, no reinforcements and be overextended even if we win. I think we've danced to this tune before.
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>>4752865
>Hell, why not? You could handle whatever trouble there might be. It’d be no problem at all. Volunteer to go with the younger Von Rotehof.
If the infantry just dies, we\ll lose them for nothing.

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The dreams have been getting worse. More intense. This morning you wake with chilling laughter ringing in your ears and the sound of someone--a child--screaming in a dark place. Your ratty clothes are soaked through with sweat, stuck to your body like wet paper. You tug on the chest a few times to get in some cool air, but it's too stuffy inside the makeshift tent and it just makes you feel out-of-breath.

You step outside of the tent, into the shade of the massive stone bridge above you. Other tents dot the riverside. People--other orphans, invalids--tend small fires. A few are knee-deep in the river, washing their clothes or hair. The littler ones are swimming with loose supervision. It's a good day for a swim--hot, dry, cloudless--and ordinarily you'd jump in without a second thought, but this dream troubles you. It's the third time this week you've had it--this one in particular--you've had others before, but never with such frequency or vividness. You wipe your face with the end of your shirt. As if you didn't enough to deal with already.

"Don't tell me you just woke up," says a tall, pale boy, utterly bald, with limbs like string cheese pulled too far. Beluski, a fellow orphan--and your best friend. "Bad dream again?" he adds more softly, noticing your expression.

You shake your head and smile in your practiced way. "Just thinking of you."

"Well, that'll depress anybody."

"It's really more of a comical existence, isn't it?"

He nods his head gravely. "Sometimes so funny I forget to laugh."

The two of you make your way downriver and toward the small curving path that leads up to the main road. You make an odd pair by anyone's standards, despite being the same age. In stark contrast to Beluski's towering height and generous limbs, you are as compact as a marble; swarthy, where Beluski is pale; messy black hair where Beluski is bald. Yet you would not hesitate to take a knife to the stomach for your friend; you like to think he feels the same way about you.

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>>4745631
>>Work diligently to make a good impression--for Beluski's sake
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>>4745631
>>Work diligently to make a good impression--for Beluski's sake
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>>4745631
>Work diligently to make a good impression--for Beluski's sake
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>>4745631
>>Write-in
Diligently work for Beluski's sake--to make a good impression
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>>4745631
>Slack off and go talk to Melanie--put pedal to the meddle
Beluski's the one we're trying to get set up here. We're the wingman here gents.

You are formerly Andrei the Anchorite, now the self-proclaimed New Emperor, so it has been declared by the Fourfold Chaos Gods or so you have decreed, and the rapture of your words has left you transfixed. Each instant the quill scratches the parchment below, you are awed by the wisdom of your dark masters, for the depths of your soul are not inspired but enthralled by the magnitude of the Immaterium and in this moment you are its instrument. Hours turn to days as you write in a frantic mania, pausing only to fall unconscious and reawaken in what feels like dreamless instants, for your every waking thought is gripped by a lucidity that knows neither comparison or question, for the work of a thousand ages is underway. In the monastery you’ve corrupted, your quill is scratching a magnum opus fit to match the Lectitio Divinitatus and its opposite, the Book of Lorgar in equal measure, or at least as close as any human can come to the legendary writ of a Primarch.

Although, you are not quite human, not quite now, rather, you’ve opened your mind to the Warp and are its condit, aligned in will as well as worship, and you would sooner be damned to a thousand eternities of torment than turn from it for so much as a second. Possessed in one part by your own madness and in another by the nightmare beyond the skein of reality, you are immovable and utterly incapable of orchestrating the Communion of Clarity. Before you stumbled onto the passion that comes once a generation, you did not choose a successor, have not the slightest notion of what’s happening behind your shoulders, and could not care less. The world could lie in ashes, the cult could collapse, and your heresy be discovered and you would not be moved, so long as the quill lays in your hand. For you have been chosen and on the completion of this manuscript, you shall be as a living god. Your name be praised!

>1/3
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Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>4752208
>orators
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>>4751945
>>4751948
>>4752031
>>4752113
>>4752208
You call the Baron to a meeting in his keep and he assents, seating you at a rugged table in his quarters. The walls are bare and his bed no different from any in the barracks, though you notice a chipped flint knife tied to a hook that would normally be used to hang a lamp. His eyes are open but his hands are clenched. Yours are fidgeting, tapping a staccato up and down a faint crack and he's the first to interrupt the repetitive noise. "Koln, the fiefdom's barely in our grip. Moving troops this early could be a grave mistake." The air is dry and you shake your head.

"Ah, you misunderstand what this meeting's for, my warmongering frie-" His voice is sharp like the ornament on the wall. "What, then?" You dispense with the theatrics. "I need to know what you know." He shifts in his seat. "You served in the war with the Easterners. You know them,-" The Baron makes a rare smile and tugs his shirt to reveal a jagged scar along his collarbone. "I know them well." You continue. "-their ways, their warriors, I want to know of their faith. Their flutes." The smile fades for his grim default. "The old faiths were wiped out centuries ago, when the offworlders came. You know that as well as I do." You rub the back of your hand. "There's a new, old faith though. The revivalists. Only rumours, but the flutes... we've been hearing about them for months now. You're a Baron, you used to be my Baron. Nothing happens in the fief that you don't know about."

Tilvius stares out the sole, square window. "I knew about the disappearances. Not the reason. Never breathed a word when I asked and now, I can see why." You shrug, unsurprised but frustrated. "Then you know about their creed? The object of their faith? Surely?" The Baron tenses and you can see a vein throb on his neck. "Zlaanek. Said they dance, play the flute, revel in the woods..." He spits in contempt. "Savages." You voice a theory. "Zlaanek might be a guise of-" He voices a forbidden name, more a feral growl than human speech. "Slaanesh." You feel a tension in the air and catch yourself fidgeting, nails on the back of your hand. "Enough about that. I've heard everything I need to but that's not the only reason we're here." The Baron nods, clearly eager to change subjects. "Right. What else?" You speak calmly, carefully mentioning. "I was thinking about your marital status and it occured to-"

>1/2
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>>4752688
Faster than you can blink, there's a vise grip around your neck and you're staring into piercing steel. You feel calluses on his hand, not a farmer's like yours, but a warrior's, used to holding a sword and the killing of men. The sinew tenses and you know he could crush your windpipe and have a weapon in his hand by the time you got the knife from your boot. You spread your palms on the table and close your eyes. "Hear me now, treacherous dog. I respect you as a brother in the faith and part of our master's inner circle. I would lay down my life for you and expect the same. But if I hear a word about marriage, I will kill you." There's no need to ask if you understand. His grip lightens and jerks away. You smile, laughing at the fact you're still alive and then the both of you are grinning. You exhale and the tension seems to leave the room.

"Hehehehe, then it seems we're done here! I'll let you know if the spies tell me anything." The Baron's laugh trails off and he nods. "Glad to help." You stand and move to leave but stop at the door when he whistles. "Next time, better to keep a knife on your belt." You pause. The sheath was hidden deep in the boot, under a stitched flap. You resolve to take his advice and leave without another word. Later, you order Laertes to keep his ears open for any sign of flutes among the poor and likewise Laverna to sift through the wealthier townspeople.

The town at the crossroads consists of several hundred and only a handful have fallen to the New Emperor's worship. You ask Baron Tilvius to see if he can't infiltrate it with some of his loyal men-at-arms and his response is to double the garrison with loyal cultists. This immediately sets them on edge but the explanation of suspicion to the Easterners calms down what little disquiet there is. After all, he's the Baron and what lands are here are his. At least until the New Emperor's reign commences. You hunger to worship but the weaving of lies is all the more intricate. There is no doubt, you live to serve, the Dark Gods have made that much clear but you wish you could serve truer and be remade in the flesh, like your master has. Perhaps you could be forgiven to pursue your own ambitions, or even further the Communion of Clarity's hold on the fiefdom. There's no way to be sure how much longer the New Emperor will continue his work.

>2/3
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>>4752689
At the same time, patrols are sent out to catch any sight or sign of wandering peasants but so far have found little of note. Almost as an afterthought, you task a dozen of the most cunning cultists to travel to the Eastern forest with the intent to find and infiltrate the Flutists. You don't know if or when you'll hear back from them but the chance of genuine information is worth gambling their petty, tiny lives. Learning is a powerful thing and you often envy the monks for their literacy. An entire world of tomes is open to them, almost its own kind of sorcery. You can barely imagine.

The month passes by without any sign of change from the New Emperor's room or success from the researchers, but the monks assure you he lives and their pursuit of knowledge continues. You note that Stanton and Theresa have gotten the training of speakers almost down to an alchemy, turning a half-dozen stuttering novices into competent preachers. There are many of them now and so many militia under the New Emperor's banner, the temptation to overreach is powerful but you know you must restrain your ambition. Patience is key.

>What's the plan for the next month?

>3/3
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>>4752694
Have evangelizers go out accompanied by armed men. We don't want anyone outside our people to know, but the cover story is (with the consent of the baron of course) that these evangelizers are making sure that the remote villages are safe, especially from the Flutists. This way, in case anyone escapes and reveals what is going on, we can claim that the attackers must have been the flutists, and would also give even more justification for the sending of MORE evangelizers to keep the populace "safe".

It would also give us a good cover story for our evangelizers if we ever have to encounter villages who have heard about our "envangelizing". Perhaps we should have the plan to have our squads carry the Baron's colors to switch wearing as the situation suits them as undercover or for doing dirty deeds. They should never show their faces while playing the role though to not alert any suspicion if they were ever killed and possibly recognized as the Baron's men.

Welcome to Joffrey Baratheon Self Insert Quest, where you play as the cursed QM Elsweyr who has been punished for his questing sins by being cast into the body of the most unlikable Game of Thrones character destined for failure and death on the day of his 12th birthday right before the events of the A Song of Ice And Fire novels start to occur.

Last time, Joffrey Baratheon won a Valyrian steel knife from Littlefinger betting on a joust, decided to stay in King's Landing for the events leading up to Jon Arryn's death, convinced Gendry to come with him to the Red Keep and informed his mother Cersei Lannister that he not only knew he was the product of her incest with Jaime Lannister, but also revealed to her the members of the Small Council who suspected the truth.

It's been one hell of a birthday.

Now, Joffrey Baratheon seeks to speak with his maternal and paternal uncle - Tyrion Lannister, the Imp.
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>>4753110
yeah be fun if jofferys madness started to effect us we have the same brain with the same flaws desu
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>>4753239
>>4753242
>>4753243
Fake
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>>4753243
It would be an interesting use of dice mechanics at least
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>>4753243
Nothing says "self insert" like not being yourself when you insert.

Or something.
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>>4752980
>read book
>burn book
>profit

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After you wipe the sweat off your brow, Mary bursts in, clearly excited.

M: "Dad! Dad! It's time! I got a call, and there's a bunch of monsters in the city!"

"What?!"

She's far too chipper for this. Far too chipper.

As you grab your bag and start tying your boots, Teresa comes up from the basement.

T: "What's going on?"

>No time to explain, come with me!
>Monster hunting, hold down the fort while we're out!
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>>4750993
>>4750997
>5 minute reaction time.

As you get in the car and speed down the streets, you find yourself thankful for the town's small size and relative lack of traffic. You also find yourself thankful that the ongoing renovations to the road network aren't affecting your drive. The road network's been in construction limbo for at least a year now, and you bet it'll last at least another.

But that's not the interesting bit is it? The interesting bit is that there's a giant mole in the Walmart parking lot.

>Ramming Speed!
>Get out of the car, go at it on foot.
>Defer to your daughter's experience on the matter.
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>>4751006
>>Ramming Speed!

We are a man of action.
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>>4751006
>>Ramming Speed!
it worked once it will work again
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>>4751006
How big is this mole? I wouldn't want to smash up the car if it's big enough to mostly ignore the hit.
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>>4753149
Monster of the week sized, but not so big that it's only mostly going to destroy the Walmart if you don't intervene.




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