I was sexually abused my my mother and older sister and now I find meaningful sexual intimacy nearly impossible.The long story is that for reasons unknown to me, my mother and older sister used to play "games" with me throughout my late childhood and early teens. This ranged from being randomly naked and suggestive to fondling/forced touching and other stuff like that. Clearly they were both in on it and getting something out of it. This obviously led to a lot of deeply difficult feelings, and it basically made me feel repulsed towards sex with women, possibly as a coping mechanism. I'm still attracted to women, and I seem to attract them, but the problem is, I just can't have sex with them. I can look at them and appreciate them and touch them and I feel good, but, as soon as it comes to penetrative sex, I'm a cold, nervous, driveless wreck. My current gf (soon to be wife) is very very supportive and understands, but it's clear that the lack of sex is driving her crazy, and I'm worried she will cheat. Is there anything I can do to overcome this? I feel like a complete failure of a man. I've been told that therapy is an expensive waste of time.
Buy viagra?
>>27374869therapy
>actually get a conversation going>they seem to actually carei run out of things to talk about and freeze up once ive exhausted common interests. if i try to let them take the conversation it never really goes anywhere. what the fuck do i do im tired of being alone
>>27374238>practicing talking to girlsHorrible way to go about it, since it treats women (or really anybody) as a monolith where there can be one-size-fits-all methods that'll work on every single one of them. Successful conversations are done by having them with people you naturally sync up with, not just any random person.
>>27374238People love to talk about themselves. Try asking them questions about themselves. Once they give you an answer, ask follow up questions. For example: Do you have any siblings?Yes I have a brother. Are you two close?Yea very close, we like to do “insert activity here”
>>27374271i know, thats why i try to find people online that i have in stuff in common with rather than messaging random people. the problem is i run out of common ground and dont know where to go from there>>27374319>Try asking them questions about themselves. Once they give you an answer, ask follow up questions.thats usually my go to but some people really wont give you much to work with. i could ask someone what kind of books their into and get "a lot" and id try my hardest to get them to be specific so i have something to go on
>>27374333You want to work out what a persons niche is and play into that, because they will talk for hours about it. Books are good if the person is a big reader, if reading is just something they do every so often it may be better to find out their niche. Think of the grand final of the world cup, or the superbowl or whatever. You watch it, you talk to your friends and family about it, and then your coworkers, and 2 days later you're tired of having the same conversation about it so you just go "yeah, good match". That's similar with girls since theyve had a million guys ask about generic aspects of their life already, but very few about the projects theyve got going, the inside jokes in the communities their in etc. Working out how to play into a niche is a bit tricky, you might have to go off of their photos or whatever to see their interests, and then find some specific thing about that
>>27374238>if i try to let them take the conversation it never really goes anywhere.90% of all the conversations in the world don't "go anywhere." They are self-justifying ways of killing time and expressing friendship.
>controlling gf>throws fits when things don't her way>constant separation anxiety and always wondering when I'm coming home when I'm out with friends>tracking my phone every time I go out>always anxious about everything and overwhelmed with the slightest pressure of everyday life>can't take responsibility>can't take accountability>shifting blame and victimizes>constantly worried everyday that I would leave her one day>ridicules me for the things I do differently than she would ever do>constantly distracting me from doing my work/pursing hobbies>isolates me from my friends>mentally unstablethe list goes on and on, but I can affirm that my girlfriend is repulsive that any sort of free time or sleeping from her is a blessing. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Ultimatums don't work retard. You teach people how to treat you. You've taught her all that shit works on you because you've got a jelly spine. you'll be her slave until she finds another guy to monkey branch to you don't have the guts to dump her
Sometimes the pussy isn't worth the price tag, anon.
>>27375686She should recognize that this behaviour is not beneficial for your relationship. You should have an honest conversation with her about this. She's scared of you leaving her but ironically this will push you to leave her. She should go to therapy if she doesn't already. If she's unwilling to improve there isn't anything you can do and the chances of her issues resolving on its own is not likely.
>>27375686just leave her you retard lmao stop being such a woman
>>27375686how do you get a girlfiend like this i want one so badly brosOP, can you tell me where you meet her so I know which places I can go to find these types of girls
26. I probably have aspergers and I have bad social skills. Is it OK to let porn replace sex altogether?
>I probably have aspergersConfirm with a professionals.>I have bad social skills.Deliberate practice and not talent is the core indicator of expertise.>Is it OK to let porn replace sex altogether?The cheap knock-off can never one up the genuine.
>>27375411No, man. Stop being a wimp. The easy road is never the road you really want. Keep pushing until you get what you want, then keep fighting to keep it beautiful. Or just be a lazy cocksucker and drown in the mud I guess...It's your life, and you shouldn't settle for anything less than what you want. You only live once, and you don't want that to be hell because of your laziness.
>>27375411If porn has a bad influence on your mental state then don't. It sounds to me you like to get better at socializing. It's hard, but not impossible. Don't take the easy road.
>>27375411Consider the Following.
OP here. Even though I have nothing against women theyre insanely stuck up and it's too risky to hit on girls for me. I'm too broke to betabux. I know successful girls that date loser guys though. Even though I grew up middle class I'm white trash as hell. Whatever, it's hard to not get defensive around these BITCHES...
What are some places to actually take / get sex advice from? I have no idea what I am doing and I am a male in my late 20's. I remember asking a friend a long time ago for advice when I was like 17 or 18 and the advice he gave seemed fucked to me. He mentioned stuff like "Women can have orgasms 3 different ways, via their tits, via their vaginas and via their ass." Which to me sounded incorrect but he was one of those people who love to give advice but tends to not really understand what the fuck they advising on. So what I want to know is, just how important is foreplay and for how long should it go on for? I am mostly worried about being a poor lover of sorts. I don't want to be that guy that a woman might make fun of with her friends but I honestly have no idea what I am doing.
>>27376285The p-in-v part of sex is MUCH more important for men than women. For them, it's the whole packagwe, from first snuggle to afterglow, that makes up "sex." So the simple answer to your question about foreplay is "as long as you are both enjoying it." But don't think of it as foreplay, but as the main part of the adventure, with p-in-v as the dessert. Give her an orgasm or two by hand or mouth before you even think about climbing aboard.Another point - by now you have had litwerally thousands of self-induced orgasms. As enjoyable as they are, they're a known quantity, with few surprises left. A woman's arousal and climax are infinitely fascinating, and witnessing (and generating) them can be the best part of the whole experience.
>>27376435Hmm..I see. Yeah I often worry about the whole arousal part because years of porn abuse has made it so I can get erections quickly but I can't maintain them easily I think. Like if there is a lull in sex or something, I am certain I am going to go soft. This whole task is seeming more and more daunting because is the expectation from a man supposed to be that I am hard at all points during the whole "act" of sex?
>meet girl>realize she's a retard>lose interest>start mistreating her in hopes she would fuck off>she tells me i'm a cunt/psycho>I get ABSOLUTELY butthurt wtf is wrong with me? is this BPD?
aw man that sounds hilarious
>>27376502i actually start mitreating her bc i dont want to tell her she's lame and boring. i generally call her on her BS or defects instead as if it were any betterthen when she tells me to fuck off i get butthurt and tell her straight up she's lame and I never had interest in her but for some reason I'm butthurt that she lefti think next time I'll be the one ghosting her. i think this all roots in the fear she will start looking for me everywhere if i dont tell her i dont like her OR that i dont want to hurt her ego out of the blue
I'm thinking of starting a local Harry Potter and Donald Trump fan club, for fans of President Trump, the greatest President ever and of the greatest wizard ever, Harry Potter! I'm just having great difficulties coming up with a name. What do you think of these four names which mix Trump and Harry Potter?>Donalddor>Trumpclaw>Trumperin>Trumplepuff>DonaldPuffDo you have a favorite or do you have any better suggestions? If you were in my area would such a group appeal to you?
>>27372705Dude, I’m in, sign me up.
>>27372821Harry Potter fanfic writer
>>27372705Binkis Bonkus, Ginacus!
>>27372705The Very Lonely Virgins
bingus bongus
For some reason my H212 EVO has this weird electronic burning smell, kind of like one of those things that flattens hair. It's been like this for a few months and I haven't really cared enough to check things out thoroughly because my PC is otherwise normal. My CPU temp is great (41c on load right now) and my other temps are normal too. I'm not 100% sure it's the cooler but when I put my nose close it sure seems like it. Any ideas?
I have been abusing alcohol for some years. I want to quit or at least tone it down.Physical pain and fatigue is the reason I'm using.I recently got into Ibuprofen big time. And it seems to be a nice replacement. But it is burning my stomach up...Anyone have tips on alternatives or other solutions to this? (Legal)...
>>27375194My husband had success with a mixture of non-alcoholic beer (he really likes Athletic Brewing Co.) and sparkling water. It’s like a placebo- he’s so used to having a drink in hand, so they make a decent replacement. Also when he was having to deal with withdrawals while cutting down he’d slowly water down his drinks more and more over time until the alcohol content was significantly reduced.
>>27375674Tell that dude about naltrexone and you write it down too. In case he ever gets caught up in alcoholism again. Works like a charm
>>27375566We dont do smileys on this domain.
>>27375677His doctor prescribed him some and we have it on hand in case he needs it, but so far he has been successful. I appreciate the tip!
>>27375194A A
I've watch her kids a couple of times but she's never given me head or the poon... Just a smile, couple of rubs on the shoulders and chests. I feel like she's just using me as a baby sitter at this point.Am I simping and getting played? She's really attractive and I have only had sex with one chick, never dated.Yes I am very autistic.
>>27374143She's using you, specially if you just except to see you as an amazing guy that deserves "a little treat". Like >>27374970 said, try telling her your intentions before you waste any more time. If things go right just get the head and run, what kind of sensible woman would let her kids with a male barely knows??
>>27374295Yes you fucking incel autist, smiles don't necessarily mean anything. It's called being polite. What "American" have to do with anything? She's using you to watch her children so she can go get filled with actual men's cum. Loser.
Why ask for advice, you know the answer already.
>>27374143Have you made any sort of romantic or sexual move? Then, as far as she knows, you're just a friend.
>>27374350>I know in some countries (Russia comes to mind), they think that's smarmy and fake, and that you should just smile when you mean it.This is based. I despise putting on an act.
I keep having thoughts about dating my underage coworker. She's 3 years younger than me (16) and I know it's really fucking creepy to date a high school junior but my carnal instincts are screaming. I know she's into me too, I just know that my friends would shun me for dating her and I would be seen as a pedophile creep by basically anyone but her. But also she's a broken girl with daddy issues and one of the best bodies I've ever seen. I fucking hate how society (especially where I live) hardcore judges guys for dating girls 2-3 years younger than them even though girls mature faster and first. I am immature and retarded and she's taking harder classes in high school than I am in college and yet I'm a pedophile for dating her. Kill me.
>>27374212Nigga. That's legal basically everywhere in Europe. Don't feel bad for it.
>>27376384My error was in believing that she was at least comfortable enough with me that she wouldn't overreact. I don't know on what basis OP "knows" she's into him. Young men of his age tend to be poor judges of this.
>>27374212the age difference between a 16 and 19 year old is utterly consequential
>>27374212just wait another year until you start dating her 17 and 20 are good numbersor date her now, but dont make it official
Here in Europe you can even legally date 15 year old even if you are 20 and nobody gives a fuck.It's just, the one is in high school, the other is probably working. 19 and 16 is normal here. People even do 30 and 16 here.
How do I stop going to AMPs to get laid? I want to stop but that yellow shit is tight as fuck. I spent over $800 from my savings last month alone.
Foota
>>27373541Don't waste ur time with that bullshit bro.
>>27371565Go to the Philippines to get laid instead. It's cheaper per fuck.
>>27371648Baked beans on toast
>>27376224Britfags are disgusting
What do people gain by attacking the beliefs of an otherwise peaceful group?
>>27376392You're the same type of idiot who sees a picture of 10 people and only 2 of them are black and you call the company racist for not having 50% of it's workers be black. It's literally impossible for every company to have 50% black workers unless we import like a hundred million people from Africa. Black people only make up 13% of the population, so if a company has 13% black employees, that IS equal representation. Why is math so hard for people?
>>27374389Anyone else remember the superstraight meme?
>>27376392it's a troll post. what you're describing is obvious, as it's intended to be.
>>27376405you mean when people admitted they don't want to fuck trannies and got called bigots by people who secretly don't want to fuck trannies?
>>27374389Why are you posting bait in r/adv ? You will get more dopamine if you go back to your shithole.
How am I supposed to enjoy life when I know that death waits at the end? How do I enjoy life not knowing when and how death will hit me? It worries me so much that it sucks all joy out of life for me. Already doing CBT but results are yet to be seen. Ever since my grandmother died it feels like my innocence about life and death has been stripped away.
I am already exercizing in the gym several times per week, going for walks in nature, swimming to exhaustion, meditating, praying.Nothing really helps. It only temporarily aids, but doesn't solve the issue, because the issue cannot be solved, can it?
The greatest question a man can ask himself is if he should kill himself or not. Life is short but it’s the longest thing we do
How do I be less sensitive? Is there something besides exposure therapy?
yesalcohol
>>27376403Ritalin
