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Spend years and years in solitude due to being a social reject, become so mentally ill I start to make imaginary friends in my head, I draw them, they are super cool, I make one character i fall in love with, call me crazy but its just how I coped, now everyone in comparison to this character is bland and insufferable, humans commonly have so many flaws that make them unbearable to associate with, however these imaginary friends of mine are completely faultless and innocent, now i have become dissatisfied with literally everyone, any time im in the association of anyone since im trying to break out of the cycle of permanent solitude, they in some way or another remind me of why I went into solitude in the first place, and I just compare them to my imaginary friends and instantly become disinterested and go back to isolation, how do I fix this vicious cycle?
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>>26495582
Its easy to see the flaws of the humans when you feel so detached, its like your looking from an outside perspective, like a zoo.
Realize you are also human, and through this, realize you are majorly flawed, and specifically what those flaws are.
I went through the first step as well, now Im in the one I just described, and the empathy I feel when I see someone trying their best to fix their flaw in front of me is way more than enough for me to want to socialize with them, and not everyone does this. And it reads kinda obvious but it also greatly encourages me to work on my own flaws. Lets strive to perfection together.
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>>26495598
>>26495627
Thanks for the feedback, I feel like ive been in this state for so long that I'm not sure if i can actually recover, at this point im thinking damage control, because ill never see humans the same way again after a lifetime of isolation, but i do try anyways, but i must say I never really come across, the right kinds of people that would understand me, so I constantly feel like like a freak, idk man... its true i really do want to connect, but i literally am unable to, its making me suicidal.
>>
your character would be the more bland one if they were completely faultless. you can't really know another person thoroughly, so you aren't in a position to make judgement. associate with people who you have common goals with, where there is a common purpose or reason to associate, not just any rando
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>>26495904
Desu the fact that you're trying shows that you can still make it.

It's okay to be a total freak and weirdo, just respect people's boundaries.
Sometimes, actually, being unusual and weird might help you be more popular.

But that's not what you're looking for, right? You just want connection.

Really old fashioned advice, but ever considered joining an interest club? I found that old prople especially, like to talk to younger people and tend to br less judgemental.
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>>26495582
Look into maladaptive daydreaming

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My ears keep clogging and I have to yawn to pop them. I'm taking a shit and when I push they clog up again. Am I fucking dying?
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It's over
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>>26497686
You can have all my shit.

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I’ve been dating this girl for 4 years, and she’s the only girl I’ve ever been with. We only see each other about once a month. We’ve never had sex - she used to give me handjobs but that's happening less often. I have also been giving her about $1000 every time we hang out, which she uses to pay her rent because she only works part-time and doesn’t make enough to pay all her bills, whereas I have a good-paying job as an engineer.

When we hang out, we usually go out to dinner and maybe have a drink or two. Sometimes we do other things, but not often. She usually comes over to my place but I’ve never been to her place. I've never met her family and she's never met mine.

She's a genuinely nice person and for the most part we get along, and she seems super attached to me despite only seeing me once a month. However, I feel like she's being a total sugar baby with me, and I don't want that type of relationship. She says she'll always be there for me, but I feel like it's me that's always helping her out.

She just recently asked me for ~$4000 to pay her back rent that she owes from covid times, and we argued over the phone about it. Is she taking advantage of me, or am I being selfish? I'm afraid to break up with her because she seems so attached and dedicated to me and I don't want to break her heart, and because I worry about what might happen to her if she loses the financial lifeline. At the same time, I wonder if we’d be happier if we were with other people.
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>>26495151
bitch, are you even trying? ...
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> i feel like she's being a total sugar baby

you don't say
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Guys like this really exist and is because this type of man that things are so bad in our society.
No pity for people of your ilk.
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bait thread
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>>26495151
Are you sure you are not dating a prostitute?

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Typical first gen immigrant stuff, parents obsessed over go to school and go to work. Very little if any emotional interactions beyond times I got scared of things as a kid. That's it. Realizing it now. Not sure what to do though.
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>>26491594
shut up moron i don't condone such behavior just stating a fact
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>>26488086
: [
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>>26486150
it happens. Focus on your needs and how to process your emotions appropriately. just because they didn't doesn't mean you cant.
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>>26486150
Ether talk to them or accept reality

How do you know when someone is done having a hypomanic, or manic episode if they give you vague responses? If they tell you they feel no change in their mood, so constantly feeling good, and that they don’t know when their episode ended, then is it safe to say it hasn’t exactly ended yet? I would appreciate if some of you could give me personal experiences dealing with bipolar, or experiences talking with someone while they were in an episode.
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>>26496890
Just call it a mixed state and move on. Analysis deepens the problem and reactions to it
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>>26496903
It’s definitely difficult getting them to see reason, you’re right
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>>26496996
Teach problem solving skills then. If you aren’t certain if saying something will help then don’t say it. You sound like you are bad for this person get therapy yourself.
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>>26497301
They’ve had previous episodes with pawning off family valuables, so I don’t think not saying anything at all would help. Questioning their behavior is probably better than not saying anything.

I want to have sex with as many brown, black and yellow women as possible.
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>>26492932
Yes
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>>26490968
white boy summer doesn't exist. White males have been at the top of the female sexual hierarchy since colonization started
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>>26490994
fpbp
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Step 1: approach
Step 2: indicate interest
Step 3: see where it goes from there

If they're not into white guys, move on. Some will never date outside their race. If they are, treating them like any other girl will pretty much get you there.
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>>26490968
I once got Bumble and a location spoofer on my phone. Set it to Korea. Met a Korean qt. Flew out and fucked her.

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How the fuck do I manage ADHD without meds? I can be getting lots of work done at one moment and then go down an internet rabbithole for the next nine hours because I thought of something slightly interesting. What are some strategies I can use to force myself to stay on task?
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>>26496625
Again demonstrating you know zero about it..
Theres nothing even to be cured...
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>>26496649
There is nothing to cure, but there is something to manage? What sort of retarded nitpicking am I engaged with here? What would you call it to achieve a situation where there is no longer something to manage? That’s what everyone understands to be a cure
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>>26496833
Its not nit picking
If you have short term memory difficulties ajd use lists to accomodate, you didnt cure your memory. You managed it. No one with half a brain cell would call you using a tool to help with a specific cognitive shortfall of yours a "cure", the same way no one would called you cured of a cold because you took a tylenol. Your short term memory still sucks. For life. Youve merely adopted a system that mitigates if not erases its negative effect on you.
Adhd is one of the most well.
Studied, well documented, well understood disorders in the dsm iv.

Now sit down kid. I studied this. Ill give you one more "adhd for tards' i know you wont get it, its more for others monitoring at this point but who knows.
>people have strengths and weaknesses. Cognitive and otherwise. This is normal. No one disputes this.
>a lot can be genetic.
>adhd is a subset of approx 10% of the population with extremely common strengths and weaknesses. They are extremely well classified and identified, we know it has everything to do with genetics and a developmental path their brain takes. A huge aspect is their brains rewards response (that for which is produces dopamine as a reward) has different priorities. Its more interest and novelty based whereas most peoples appear to be task based.
>however their specific weaknesses make it particularly difficult to navigate current societal expectations
>when taught a specific set organizational and management skills, their quality of life can skyrocket.
>some even do very well with stimulant medication
>not always necessary.


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>>26497010
>If you have short term memory difficulties ajd use lists to accomodate, you didnt cure your memory. You managed it.

>when taught a specific set organizational and management skills, their quality of life can skyrocket.
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>>26497010
>>when taught a specific set organizational and management skills, their quality of life can skyrocket.
Can you teach me this specific set of organizational and management skills?

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I've peeked into my very recent ex's social media and discovered she's already doing what we did together with another guy.
It felt like a kick in my stomach and anxiety is rising.

What can I do when I think of my ex being with someone else, doing the stuff I wanted to do with her?
Or knowing someone else is fucking her and thinking they left me for someone superior?
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>>26497483
If you think the guy is superior to you, that's what you should be thinking about fixing. He is just another fucking schmuck just like you that has his own problems and the girl better believe she has hers. Focus on your life and what you want to improve on. Life moves on just like it did before you knew her, and one day you'll find the real love of your life who couldn't even consider choosing someone over you. You need to not be a pathetic fuck though first, self improvement is a never ending journey, start now. If you have problems about thoughts of her fucking other guys, just visualize and digest it for what it is, of course she will. Think about it enough, you'll eventually become numb to it and won't think about it at all. The guy isn't superior, it's just his turn.
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>>26497521
Thanks anon.
I do need to stop being a pathetic fuck, but idk if life really moves on, cause i think i was in a worse place before meeting her desu.
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>>26497570
> she's already doing what we did together with another guy

In other words, the other guy failed to deliver, and she's trying to recreate what she had with you. You set the sex standards, poor guy is trying to get close to them, but it doesn't work.
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>>26497570
Then use the gift she gave you, she was in your life for the season to push you into whatever better place youre in now. I know exactly what you're talking about because I've been there and still am. You'll be fine, some other girl deserves you more than she does, but don't resent her, accept your relationship for what it gave and move on. Be the positive impact she gave you onto someone else, there are many people, or even girls, that need it.

What do you do if/when you wind up in that twilight zone where you’ve been up for far too long (24+ hours) and feel all the pains of sleep deprivation, but still don’t feel tired at all and can’t get to sleep, and have almost some kind of fear of going to sleep? I usually resort to really unhealthy food or worse once I can’t take it anymore, but obviously that isn’t healthy. The rebound insomnia from sleeping pills isn’t worth it. How do you deal with this if you get it?

What did I do wrong?
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>>26488262
Ywnbaw
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>>26484381
This. You did nothing wrong OP.
Women are complete shit, that's all.
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>>26488750
Most of the flirting my guy friends did with girls was cringe to me but they went home and got their dicks wet and I watched anime
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>>26488625
>“Yes, I’m a time refugee. FOTB. (Fresh Off the Telephone Booth) just walked into a pair of panties on the sidewalk with a number on them. These yours? :cry laugh:”
Thanks for making me laugh and want to jump off a fucking bridge simultaneously
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>>26484347
You could have saved it by playing along with being a time traveling prude and then escalating it.

Be me:
>32 years old
>engaged
>spent last 12 years of life chasing the dream of being graphic artist. In my field I am doing well but the problem is it is a small field with not a lot of money
>earned enough to get by month to month, but no savings
>currently working part time in security
>Want to start earning more so I can start paying for kids and my fiance won't have to work when we have them
>feel like art+part time security is not going to cut it long term
What jobs are out there that are realistic for me to get in to at this point in my life? I already have a degree but I was dumb and got it in graphic design instead of something useful. I want to do a trade but feel too old to enter one. Welding and X-ray technician appeal to me but I don't want to do multi-year training.

>Is learning to code just a meme? If not, what code should I as a beginner learn, what is a good coding bootcamp to enter and how long does it take before I get an IT job?

I am happy to work hard. I just don't know the direction I should go in. I want to transition my art to a side hobby and get in to either coding or a trade. Help me /adv/, I want to contribute more to society.
>What trades will be most in demand in the current economic collapse?
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>>26494447
Me and you are in the exact same boat. Except I don't have a fiance and I'm a little younger.

It's a tough one OP, I too have been considering learning to code. The people that I do know who work remote jobs basically do an hour and a half of work and spend the rest of the day playing Vidya or dicking around on their phones
>Not too different from security if your the guy who's usually in charge of the front desk or the security cams.
But from that point of view it's just swings and roundabouts. Either do fuck all at home or do fuck all somewhere else when you'd rather be at home.

And for me at least. Both jobs offer minimum wage as I'm far away from major cities. (I know, even a remote job will offer less pay based on my location)
It's a tough one. And I don't really have any clear answers. Either way I Don't think learning to code will be the saviour it's made out to be.
>After all it was a Literal meme to make fun of coal miners back in 2014 about how ignorant and stupid it was to just say "learn to code", now it's been said so much people think it's legit
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>>26494447
>Is learning to code just a meme? If not, what code should I as a beginner learn, what is a good coding bootcamp to enter and how long does it take before I get an IT job?
Design skills go well with frontend web and mobile programming. Go start the Responsive Web Design Certification on freeCodeCamp (which is apparently 300 hours if you do the whole thing) to get a taste for what it's like. Have a look at https://levels.fyi/ to see the absolutely insane engineer salaries. Note that tech (building software) is not the same as IT (installing and operating software, fixing laptops).

You can also get web design and UX jobs that pay well in most tech companies. Entry-level jobs are harder to find, but have a look through any company you're interested in. Zoom is currently hiring a UX writer, which wouldn't suit you because it's mostly copywriting, but is a good example of the kind of complicated role where design skills are an advantage: https://careers.zoom.us/jobs/ux-writer-bay-area-california-united-states-remote

I'm a senior engineer and have worked in the US before. If you have any questions about tech companies or learning to code I can try to answer them.
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You could get a cdl and drive trucks
>only takes 4 weeks to get certified
>hot job market
>decent pay (My first cdl job started at $1200 a week)
>Inb4 away from home for weeks at a time
Depending on where you live you can get a job where you’re home daily without experience or just get a cdl B which limits you to vehicles without trailers (dump trucks, cement mixers, buses) and those are always home daily.
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>>26495503
>It's a tough one OP, I too have been considering learning to code. The people that I do know who work remote jobs basically do an hour and a half of work and spend the rest of the day playing Vidya or dicking around on their phones
I'm completely down to learn to code, I just don't know what code I'm supposed to learn or where to learn it. Point me a good direction and I can go all out making it happen, Im directionless right now. I get enough from art to scrape by but I don't think I'm going to make it big any time soon and even if I did in my particular field "making it big" is not financially that impressive
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>>26495671
>I'm a senior engineer and have worked in the US before. If you have any questions about tech companies or learning to code I can try to answer them.
thank you so much for this. So once I have the coding time and certificates under my belt, how hard is it to get hired? What stops companies from hiring Indians and South East Asians for cheap and paying them tiny salaries instead of hiring me?

I don’t want to do any competitive sport, martial art or group physical activity because I am 5’9 and feel inferior to bigger men. I feel like sports are a waste of time because of my size. Am I wrong or am I just not coping hard enough?
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>>26497131
Why ? I'm 5'9 and sparring with a 6+ partner is great for working on your kicks etc and other things. Shorter men than us also prefer extremely well in sport. I think you're wrong and coping for not wanting to do sports due to an insecurity.
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>>26497242
*perform not prefer
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This has to be bait.
>>
I'm 5'9" and did well in martial arts. I liked being able to win against bigger guys. And they hated losing to me.
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You know that Pacquiao is 5ft6 and Lomachenko is 5ft7, right? Tyson was barely 5ft10, and that was in heavyweight division.

I have clinical depression, am i considered insane?
>>
This its the most bland tread i've seen in a while good job!
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>>26496878
You're super-sane. Nobody can handle this much sanity. Go watch a cat meditate and do the eye closing thing before it's too late.

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What should I expect at a 'cultural fit' type job interview?
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A corporation values a conformist and conflict avoided/people pleaser more than a hard worker than has no problem saying "no".
That's what most "cultural" parts of/whole interviews are, will you be compliant and in it for the long run.
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>>26496744
I hate that this is a thing now
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>>26496691
If you get as far as an interview, they have decided you can probably do the job. Now they want to know if they will be able to bear working next to you. Are you too formal for an informal company or vice versa, too lone wolf for a team-structured company or vice versa, and so on. There's no right or wrong here, just good-fit-or-not, and it is ultimately in your best interest for them to get it right. So if they reject you they may be saving you from a bad experience.

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I've been feeling kidney pain for the last couple of days. Not sure what to make of it. Is it worth going to urgent care about or should I just wait for my appointment which is a month from now?
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>>26497037

go to urgent care, see if it's a kidney stone
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>>26497037
it could be a sign of organ failure, you might be dead in weeks
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>>26497037
>>26497152
I would add to this by saying kidney stones tend to come in chronic sperts so instead of urgent care which will just try and fix you in 5 minutes try a real primary care doctor. Kidney stones are a sign you are doing unhealthy things in other ways, perhaps a bad diet or too much drinking. You need a longer term solution of taking care of yourself better and a primary care deals with a patients life more than a one off diagnosis. It’s probably a good idea to drink more water regularly.
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>>26497338
It's usually accompanied by looking jaundiced. My buddy died a few months ago from organ failure, and it only took a few days. He went in on a Friday and was dead by Wednesday. He was also 55 and a heavy drinker when he wasn't working.
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>>26497037
1. Avoid meat and added sugar
2. Drink lots of water
3. Eat lots of fruit




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