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>Out somewhere in public
>See a beautiful girl I want to approach
>Heart begins to race, get extremely nervous, can't think or concentrate, start imagining that I will seem creepy and will be rejected
>Miss the opportunity, immense regret and loneliness afterwards
This has been going on for years now, years and years of missed opportunities and I'm not getting any younger. How do I stop doing this without resorting to drugs to give myself false confidence. I'm not ugly or bad at conversation but I experience intense anxiety in some social situations and these are the worst
>>
>>23979020
Oh man trust me I get it.

And know you don't want to hear this but you just have to do it. I rarely do it myself but even when I get rejected I feel much more manly after. Doing it and relishing in the nervousness and the intense feelings might help. I haven't gotten that far yet but trust me I feel your pain.

All you can do is keep trying. If that doesnt work then keep trying to try
>>
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>>23979020
>>Heart begins to race, get extremely nervous, can't think or concentrate, start imagining that I will seem creepy and will be rejected
This is called, "adrenaline" (or "epinephrine"), and it's a good thing anon.
Musicians get this "rush" before a performance, and it's what lets them focus their passion into a moving rendition.
Do not try to avoid the heightened sense of the moment; embrace it and dive into it.

>start imagining that I will seem creepy and will be rejected
Yes, you will.
This is not under your control.
The performer cannot control the audience's reaction.
The performer can only control the violin.
But the show must go on, anon.
So play, play like your life depends on it, and the life of your mate who needs you to search to find her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeZEjU0nZeo
>>
Talking more to everyone in general is what helped me. It made it easier to just come up with shit from the top of my head. If I see someone I'd like to chat to I refuse to think what to say. I'll make it up on the spot. And that has been very helpful. It takes time though.
>>
Having a gf is overrated. I am shorter than you and I have a cute girlfriend but I still hate myself

How do I become rich?
>>
Make lots of money
>>
>>23979420
This but also don't spend it.
>>
start a startup
>>
Stop buying stupid shit and invest everything you save by doing that. By stupid shit I especially mean energy drinks. Fuck energy drinks.

I was over at my sister in laws house and saw her panties in the bathroom and sniffed them and I'm the hallway. Then I got paranoid and worried they had cameras in their house. How likely am I to have gotten caught when no one was inside the house when I did that.

Pic related she looks like her.
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Ur supposed tO take em
>>
>>23979758
Well the hallway that leads to her bathroom is where their washers are. I looked through her dirty clothes and sniffed a couple. I'm paranoid because her partner is a LEO, and worried they have cameras inside their house. I looked around the whole room and didn't see anything but got paranoid
>>
>>23979766
Isn't her partner your brother? What
And the fuck is a LEO
>>
>>23979773
law enforcement officer
>>
>>23979774
He sniffs underage panties too, anon. All cops do. You're fine.

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is it possible to fall in love with someone you know exclusively online? text, voice chat, cam chat, etc.
6 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>23979525
what if both people are 100% honest about who they are and share as much as possible to avoid possible problems like that with eventual meetups? I know there are the little things about a person you can't really know or deal with until you're actually dealing with it when you're living with them on a daily basis but if those things are at least being communicated about openly and honestly, that would at least help wouldn't it?
>>
>>23979554
There are two types of people online, people who use the internet to express their truest and innermost self because they can't do so in real life and people who use the internet to put up fronts or retain a lot of anonymity about themselves because they are either comfortable enough with themselves in real life or are too insecure to even share their innermost self online. In OP's case, if it's the former, he would have a lot easier of a time trying to date someone online and those types of people generally are the majority even if some may take longer to get to know than others.
>>
>>23979482

Happened to me. We've been married 6 years and have a family.
>>
>>23979581
then yea you're probably fine.
>>
>>23979482
Yes. Human connection does not magically just turn off because you're talking to them in a different way. Technology can make it easier for people to lie, yes, but people can lie to you IRL as well. That is a fault that lies within the people themselves, not the method. If you find someone you can truly connect with and love, whatever struggles or obstacles you may face in crossing that distance or overcoming those online boundaries will be worth it. Because it will mean the love is real.

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It's something I'm holding a grudge on. Very difficult to let go. I'm not opening up to change.
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>>23979450
It’s because you’re dumb and have a shit tier self esteem. Thing is you’re fine, you can see it if you try
>>
I've never considered it this way before, but the same energy it takes to hold a grudge, is the energy that is required to forgive a person.
>>
>>23979709
Not sure if o want forgive getting raped and ... Well what happened was this

I was overseas online talking to some girl for a while

Then I came to see her in United states

I went there for a month
By the way I'm role playing as the guy right now it's to hard for me to talk in my perspective bear with me...


So when I get there we get some crepes, walk around town- I came from Australia. I'm fucking tired and we are walking around without even sleeping.


We talked for months before hand, talked about marriage getting kids and having a house. She was going to be my bride because I was going to bring her back

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>>
You know what this is op here blow this thread up I'm not venting about it. It's against the rules anyway. The only thing I need advice with at this point is to how to not vent when you went through something you need to vent about? It's really traumatic and I can't waste my life just talking about sad shit
>>
>>23979754
>>23979767

You should see a therapist. It's right to be furious at this kind of heinous act, but you should try to understand how and why this happened. Don't run from it, and don't leave out the details.

how do i cope with the fact that nobody will ask me if i'm ok, and that i can't just just dump my problems on them either? how do you deal with keeping stuff inside? it's hurt a lot of relationships but it feels like too much of a burden and i wish i could just "get over it" like i'm not a pussy but keeping it inside always makes it worse
how do i rid myself of the need for re-assurance? i just want a girl to comfort me, but that feels wrong, because i'm supposed to be her rock. i don't want to be weak
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>23979412
i know exactly how you feel
don't let this place get to you too much, women in real life are more affectionate, supportive, and compassionate than women on 4chan
plenty of them appreciate a guy that's able and willing to share how he's feeling, even when he's not sure it'll make him look strong and confident

>personally the comfort i get from having an argument or an upset moment is an opportunity to get closer with that person. is that wrong?
it's not wrong. i feel exactly the same and I think it's a beautiful thing our brains do that helps us get along well with people close to us
I feel sorry for people who don't feel this way
>>
>>23979443
that's my problem. i wish that wasn't such a silly, childish thing to ask of in this world. i'm only asking how you guys deal with that too.
>>23979464
it's just upsetting to me that i hear talk of virtuous women all over, and the only thing i need to do is put myself out there, yet i'm stuck settling for bad girls who make bad decisions. i don't fit in with any of them. if being on 4chan didn't clue you in on that, i don't know what will. and i know i could just get someone to have sex with and call it a day, but that's so dishonest and i hated doing that.
i only wish it weren't so much to ask, you know? just singing the blues out here with some fellas who can relate. not much else i figure i can do
>>
>>23979495
i feel you.

>i'm only asking how you guys deal with that too.
maybe i'm just stubborn, but i'm convinced that us softies are right and all the emotionally constipated fools out there are wrong, and nothing's really going to change my mind

we're not androids
we're humans
our capacities for sharing, vulnerability, bonding, etc: those of us who want to use these to the fullest are the ones using our humanity to the fullest
>>
>>23979495
>i'm only asking how you guys deal with that too.

Be the virtuous one, instead of seeking for it in others. If you can do that, whoo boy, you'll be in for a real treat. Possibly the greatest treat you could ever attain.
>>
>>23979434
The source of the problem is closer than that. It is inside yourself, in your mind. And as you examine it, and come to truly understand it, that is what constitutes adaptation. That is how you become free of it. That is the unique gift of consciousness. Use it, don’t resort to running away from the job. That is something any animal can do.

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> depressed 21y/o German without aspirations
> swing back and forth between becoming an elementary school teacher or software developer/ programmer, because I can't think of anything better
> becoming a teacher is relatively easy; I imagine the work environment to be less stressful than a business one; (I fear to be wrong) but I think I would like interacting with and teaching children; contra: (if I'm lucky) it takes about 7-8 years
> it sounds like an obtainable skill with clear structure and rules; maybe homeoffice; easier to work worldwide with or private; studies just take around 3-4 years; contra: computer science studies are quite difficult and I fear that my memory is too bad for it, I'm too stupid for it or that I need serious dedication/ interest in it to be the right job
> Dunno if I want to leave the country later in life, but if so: software developer would be a better choice
> dad recommended to try 2 semesters computer science to see if it's the right thing
> what do you think?
>>
>>23979770
Listen to your dad. Give it a shot, see if you like it.

I feel content in life all the time even when I'm apparently fucking up. Am I living a good life or an ignorant one?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Bro we all wish we felt like you
>>
>>23979449
It’s a blessing gentle anon
>>
>>23979468
>>23979470
>>23979487
Even if I have a simple life?
>>
fucking up... according to who??
>>
>>23979449
I'm jealous. Never take that feeling for granted. EVER

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How do I move to Ireland as an American?

I have a useless BA degree and that is about it. Don't quality for heritage citizenship from grandparents. I've heard getting a job and having a company give you a work VISA is very difficult
>>
Irish embassy website.
>>
Should have told your ancestors to stay there to begin with. If they had a potato femine why didn't they just grow wheat like the rest of Europe instead of going to the US just so they could keep eating tatoes the fuck?
>>
>>23979752
Won't they just tell me to find an employer that will sponsor my work VISA? but said employer also have to show proof they couldnt get anyone else to do my job and thats unlikely and almost impossible with a non stem BA?

>>23979768
I'm not sure but if I ever meet them I'll pass it along anon

How can I get a cool mental illness bros ? All I have -re stupid adhd, anxiety and depression . I want something like schizophrenia.What do please ?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>23978557
Stop romanticizing mental illness
>>
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
>>
>>23978684
You replied to the wrong thread
>>
>>23978557
It's hypochondria not cool enough? You have that.
>>
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Bipolar retard here, may I ask how destroying your mental health is something desirable? Schizophrenia isn't cool at all, take drugs if you want to fuck up your life and experience hallucinations, also some drugs can be reversed with time and therapy. Mental Illnesses aren't aesthetic and don't make you superior

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Is it wrong to tell my girlfriend to do acid out of a desire to change her into a person that is more thoughtful and self aware? I want her to gain an understanding of the impacts her behaviours have on the people around her.
12 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Hasn’t this thread and it’s replies been posted before?
>>
>>23979658
Naw you trippin dawg
>>
You are a toxic piece of shit.
>>
I'd also say there is a tendency when you have a positive psychedelic experience to become an advocate for psychedelic experiences. You had a great time, why wouldn't you want others to also have a great time? I'd caution against this because it takes a while to integrate the experience back into everyday life. You might not feel that way, but it really does, it all seems positive, it all seems possible, it all seems so straightforward, but you aren't supposed to make progress like this in such large steps and actions like this are a sign of being unwise. She might not have a great time. You can't trip because somebody said it'll fix your unlikeable aspects, that is unethical and pretty much sets the tone for a terrible experience. You might not realise, but you will be preaching and coming across as slightly manic if you've been tripping a lot. One message is we are all on our own journey and we've no authority to force anybody. We can offer advise, our opinion, but ultimately people have to want to be open to experiences and change etc for it to happen.

My girlfriend tripped with me a couple of times after I raved about how amazing and transformative it was. She found the experience mildly distressing, she tried to maintain a veneer or normalcy throughout, was distressed at how confused and uncertain she was and just wanted it to go away as soon as possible. Of course I'd advise taking higher doses so you are incapacitated and taken beyond the point of anxiety against your will and out the other side where it is all alright, but ... this is a heavy experience that she wasn't willing to try.
>>
>>23979713
Also when I say it takes time ...

Nobody wants to hear your whacked out theories on mind, body, consciousness, the universe etc. Most will show small interest out of politeness, but you aren't shaking much up, you just seem high and like you are having issues. The psychedelic 'message' is consistently similar and well known.

Everything of meaning is found in the material realm. Time in your own head is fine, but it is meaningless to everybody and ultimately yourself until you can take it out of your head and put it into a format where it impacts upon the world. It might seem the most valuable thing, but you are just wasting time inside your own head.

You think ... all I need to do is be honest, positive and speak with a direct frankness that cuts through the bullshit that we build to insulate ourselves from real progress. In reality this is autism. We do this to show compassion to others. You might think that it is more compassionate to be honest and direct to get things done, but this is why silicone valley tech nerds like to trip because it makes people into systems and behaviour into systems and you feel like you are surfing the edge of these systems having control and mastery over it, but really you are being a massive autistic weirdo overtly concerned with grand notions of authenticity believing that you know (as if this is possible) the correct way and higher path for humans to follow.

Really it is a whole lot of lived experience and that it is all OK. You trip and you jump forward through your 20's where you have all this drive and ambition to the head space you are supposed to occupy as your ambition and drive fades away then you snap back with an awareness of it (it all ultimately doesn't matter in the end) but you've still got the drive, but you don't really have the wisdom or the understanding either because it hasn't been tested yet. Things take a long time. People are frustrating meandering things that take a long time to develop.

It doesnt get better does it? Shit will just keep getting worse and worse until i finally decide I’ve had enough and an hero. Im only 18 and never had a social life. Im retarted and ugly. Im addicted to smoking and jacking off. I tried quitting and getting my life together for years but i keep relapsing. Fml
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>23979511
Kek
OP, we get 20 threads like this a day, noone gives a shit because its so common. There is another thread where a user made a discord for self-improvement, go join it
>>
>>23979466
life is what you make it. if you don't do the work and make your life better then it's not gonna get better. it sucks but that's the truth.
>>
If you can't quit jacking off, 12 step programs can actually help. If you're unable to jack off like normal people, ie you're unable to moderate how much you do it and are unable to abstain no matter how much you want to, you may have a deeper underlying problem and being unable to stop jacking off is just one manifestation of it. If you're really a chronic addict and can't stop of your own will, try especially to find a program that focuses on actually working the 12 steps as quickly as possible as opposed to a group where people just "share" about how shitty their life is. If you're able to stop on your own, no need. Whether or not you can is something you need to figure out on your own through trial/error and self honesty. There are a lot of 12 step sex addiction programs. If you think it's for you, check a few out and see if one feels right.
>>
>>23979466
It could change but you've already given up so I guess it can't change I take it back.
>>
>>23979466
Speaking from experience, the combination of smoking and jacking off is horrible when I comes to getting out of a depressed state and it's an extremely hard cycle to break. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to stop though. It can be done (also speaking from experience)

Once you stop those, you'll have more time on your hands to ease into something constructive.

Try replacing your least favorite one with working out then work on the other one.

If you're in a hopeless mindstate (been there too. actually in that mindstate right now kek), then use your vices to your advantage.

For example, I met a STUPID amount of stoner women through dating websites just by finding out who smoked and talking about weed or asking if they wanted to smoke or whatever.

If you're talking about smoking ciggs then switch to weed and do ^^^^

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How do I become more masculine
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Be as self-sufficient as is possible, and constantly work towards greater self-sufficiency.
>>
>>23979220
Your first step is not to ask that question.
>>
>>23979220
Try lifting and ditching any hobbies that would emasculate you.
>>
Define your own form of masculinity instead of letting other retards decide for you and hone it
>>
>>23979220
Compete in something physical and take it seriously. If you lose you fail, only winning is good. No coping or rationalizing that it's not important. Test will shoot through the roof.

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This has been going on since I was probabaly 12, I am 20 now. It first started off with me pretending that my classmates lived with me and we would talk about mundane things and now that I am older I fantasize alot about having a bf to talk to. I know that I am really lonely and I crave some sort of affection, but I also realized that it's also just human interaction. It's hard for me to talk to anyone right now due to trust issues and I just feel frustrated talking to people in general. How do I stop fantasizing about me talking to people without having to talk to people? These thoughts constantly consume me and it's getting troublesome.
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>>23978463
I hope everything turns out well for you, and you get to socialize more, at least talking to oneself it's better than not going crazy [spoiler]implying you're not already crazy by doing it[/spoiler]

Anyways, my best wishes and a big hug fren, eventually we will socialize and stop talking alone
>>
>>23977755
ill talk to you
>>
>>23977755
I’d talk to you my dude. Shyness is fine but it can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to
>>
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Bump. Sometimes I do the same too, I imagine entire scenarios where I lovely talk with the girl I liked before. I don't want this, it's like my brain is trying to compensate my crippling loneliness.
>>
>>23978477
Thank you anon. I hope I can get over this too. It has been really ingrained in me, I just hope I can grow out of it.
>>23979514
>>23979521
I would really appreciate that, but I am not sure how it will help in the long-term.
>>23979681
Yea I feel the same way, I think I have always been used to people going in and out so I always had that cope at my side so I will never face my loneliness or something

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Just turned 18 a little bit ago, and I have no fucking idea what to do with my life.
I'll be graduating High School soon and I'm literally clueless on what to do now.
Sure like I've had my ideas of jobs that would be cool or whatever but I don't know what's right for me and what are the correct choices to make.
My parents give me the retarded "just follow your heart blah blah blah" boomer advice and it doesn't fucking help.
I feel like I wasted my life going to High School cause now I don't even know what the fuck to do with it.
Anons who aren't NEET mode, how the fuck did you settle down with your careers or decide on what you wanted to do in life?
I'm not trying to become a millionaire, I just want a job where the pay feels worth it and I won't get burned out 10 years in.
>t. Clueless zoomer freshly shit out of the asshole of the American public education system
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>23979648
>high school
you weren't supposed to learn anything useful with it. stop worrying mate, you have 5-10 more years before you need to put that decision into action. go get a job, get some good friends, and start SAVING MONEY. no matter what you do, if you invest and start saving money RIGHT NOW (as in, open a bank account at the nearest available convenience) you will have a surprisingly sizeable backup, even if your life goes to utter shit. you will literally make millions more than someone who started investing 5 years later than you because of compound interest. it's boring, but it works, and you won't ever have to worry if you'll have to work at wal-mart as a sad old man
>>
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>>23979648
Follow your heart. (Get it? because your parents have been the heart of your life so far, and you haven't been following their advice.)
>>
Either get a fucking job or start studying. Not really that hard. DON'T STAY AT HOME DOING NOTHING.
>>
>>23979648
Most people are never 100% sure about what they want to do with their lives after they end high school. So just pick somethin that you think you can be good at.
>>
>>23979648
The only thing you need to know is that you gotta wagecuck, I literally asked these questions when I was 18 and now i'm 20 still being a loser neet trying to look for jobs cause i need money. Just work and make tons of money bro, you'll get pussy and whatever you want in the meantime.




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