Iv been seeing a girl for about a month. Everything was going great up until she randomly went out one night with her girlfriends and got drunk and slept with a mutual acquaintance. She called me drunk right after and told me, didnt hide it, apologized profusely, and I broke things off with her.She contacted me a few days later and expressed remorse for what she did, and revealed that she talks to a therapist, and that she genuinely likes me and was happy with me, but due to unresolved issues she sabotaged us before she had a chance to get hurt.Again I must state, she was honest and upfront right away, has taken repeated accountability, expressed deep regret for what she did, and is taking steps with her therapist to ensure she works through these issues. She has also talked to her brothers about the situation and they told her she fucked up as well.Here is the weird part for me. I'm kind of indifferent to it. Not even really mad. I feel dissapointed, let down, annoyed, and sad for her, but angry? No. For the first time in my life I do not feel that her actions were an indication of my self worth. I see it as it's her problem and burden to carry. I have no bruised ego about it, it's as if I'm free because I know it is ultimately a reflection of her and not me. I feel as though part of this Is due to being my first experience with someone who is taking responsibility and expressing regret and shame in herself, in addition to taking steps to work on the issue. There is literally nothing for me to fight or be specifically angry at, she has owned everything she can possibly own.That being said, she respects and understands my decision to end things, bit has expressed that if theres any chance she can rebuild trust by stepping back and continuing to hang out.I'm not sure if i am open to giving her access to me again, but its the first time I feel it's even a possibility due to how shes conducted herself following her actions... 1/2
>>30255074Cont.YOU should not risk it. Why? Because you already did. You showed your vulnerability, probably wore it on your sleeves. If you’re a codependent, or were one, like I was, we wear it on our sleeves as our own defense mechanism. People pleasing, fawning. We’re not saints ourselves. Nevertheless, you already took the risk and for it, you were stabbed. Yes it may have been from her flailing issues and fear of intimacy, but what happened is she made her own nightmare fear of being hurt your reality. The pain which she tries to avoid, she projects and deals to others. And the more you try to love her and coddle her and “forgive” her, the more she will care, the more she will feel she has something to lose, the more intense the fear of her being hurt rises, and the larger the betrayal she will throw out at you. This does not mean she is unlovable. It doesn’t mean she is doomed to a life where she cannot be loved, it doesn’t mean she does not deserve love and a good life. She does, as does any cheater caught up in their own sins. And if you want that for them, you need to let them go. You need to leave, amicably and peacefully. Because relationships make them worse. And they need to resolve this outside of a relationship before they can actually heal from their own self sabotage. If you really want her to have a good life, you need to break things off and let her go. If you are confident and secure, you can support from a distance, via a non-sexual, non-romantic friendship. But that’s all.
>>30254030on the real did you cheat first, cuz im learning towards pretty sure girls wouldnt unless guy first did
>>30255212No I havent done anything. We've only been seeing eachother for a month but things were exclusive and we were at a place where strong feelings were developong for eachother and about to make things official
>>30255074>>30255121Appreciate the well thought out post.I definitly was a codependent, and have also been in situations where I was dishonest about trusting a person after betrayal, I understand fully what you mean by all of that.This time is different, partly I feel because iv done the proper work to resolve my own issues with self worth/codependency, and partly due to her honesty, accountability, and attempt to take action to correct her behaviour.I talked to some friends about this as well and they told me really the only thing that can truly help me determine how I want to move forward, is what SHE does moving forward.You make an interesting statement talking about your belief that they will not be able to handle if things get better, and will lash out and flail again. Tbh I considered that angle but I suppose time will tell with her. I'm not worried about being hurt, I dont think I can be hurt because as iv said, my self esteem and self respect has been preserved through all this, and shes only damaged herself. I could easily walk away again if the problem continues.I have alot to think about. This is the first time iv ever been in this space mentally and emotionally. I'm honestly studying it all as it's happening.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
She’s a Whore bro, and that pussy will cloud your judgement. If all you want is short term fun I get that but if you’re thinking something good can develop from this you’re delusional and it won’t end well.
I came to the us several years ago as an international student and then overstayed my visa. One year later after my visa expired, i decided to pay this American hoe to get a green card through marriage. We don't really live together and don't have proof that we're a couple. I'm currently waiting for my green card interview but i think my chances of passing this interview are slim to none as ICE might suspect this marriage to be fake. Should i just give up and go back to my country?
>>30256658this is actually more common than you think. I married her for the green card but i don't get to fuck her.
>>30256658Nah they just don't want to marry you my guy
>>30256690how do you even trust her not to bail out and fuck you over?
>>30256714because i have only paid her a portion of the money not the entire amount. Once everything is over and i get what i want, she'll get the rest as promised
>>30256658>Even for money.Said no one ever
redpill me on psychotherapyis it just a meme that women and faggots get into?
>>30256431Unfortunately, I don't care about your opinion.Sorry !
>>30256603Get better :)
>>30256106Whatever you do, don’t get a female therapist. Not worth it
>>30256106It's legit, but it gets to a point where nothing's really being solved and you have to fix shit on your own, that's what I got out of it. It does help.
>>30257017Explain
A lot of you just come on /advice/ to be a sadistic fucking prick
>>30256650/thread
>>30256023Some people find comfort in that, it makes them feel better about themselves and are able to hide from their issues buy throwing others in their faces. People do that shit irl.
4chan is a place of cutthroats, vagabonds, and all manner of miscreants and some of the most Hilarious Based anons. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
>>30256982>Yeah, 4chan is brutal, it's not a hug box. But that's with the internet as a whole, there's always going to be shitty people that love to kick others when they're down.
>>30256050 you’re gross
Hello. 22 year old who may have a touch of 'tism here. I've read through the DMV booklet a ton of times and have taken DMV practice tests daily. I'm about to take the knowledge test to get my learner's permit. Last time I drove was sometime in 2019, but I only ever drove around a Costco parking lot. I'm taking steps to turn my life around after half-assing online college and neeting around for a few years. I've enrolled back into my local college for the following semester. How long would it take (realistically) for me to get my driver's license so I don't have to ride the bus like a goober? Class starts sometime towards the end of January. Back when I was actually trying to learn how to drive, watching videos on YouTube on driving tips helped. Please provide miscellaneous driving tips, instructional videos, and kind words of encouragement please. Please and thank you.>inb4 get off the road, jackass No thank you. I am certain I can drive. Ask me a question (about the rules of the road and road safety) if you are not convinced. Keep in mind that I've only learned what's in the booklet; the basic rules, so I still have more to learn. Please teach me sensei, onegaishimasu.
>>30252347Operate on the assumption that every other driver on the road ias either a homocidal maniac or a certifiable idiot. Never assume reasonable behavior on their part
>>30254259I don't have to assume. Even though I was a beet, I wasn't a complete hiki, so I'd occasionally go on walks. At intersections I always see a few people on their phones. It makes me feel sad, considering they're putting other's lives and their own at risk. I'm also aware that some of my peers drive under the influence or recklessly. Most don't really pay right-of-way any mind, mostly when turning from the main principle streets into neighborhoods. It all makes me feel a little too uneasy to the point where I'd take routes that avoid intersections. Perhaps I am just overthinking and autism maxing. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist or something for some chill pills.>>30253652It's probably better if I drive during the day. Apparently sitting in front of a screen for extended periods of time daily is bad for your eyes or something. I can still see pretty well, but sources of light kind of look like blinding rays. It's barely noticeable during the day, but it's kind of a problem at night. I once mistook a skunk for a kot. I hope the solution is as simple as taking in the vitamin D or squintmaxxing. I'm a little put off by surgery. Maybe polarized glass can help. I'll wear the aerodynamic ones the chaps in NJROTC used to wear.
>>30252571This is a good post. I would like to add that most of the stupid and reckless drivers out there are also sometimes pedestrians who can cause just as much trouble. Assume the worst of anyone on foot, never mind a bicycle.For me the absolute most important rule is following distance. Three seconds minimum whenever possible without provoking dangerous behavior from others, like tailgating and unsignaled angry lane changes. Resist the urge to be prideful and not accommodate these people, remember that the survival of other uninvolved drivers and passengers depends in part on you holding your temper, and sometimes indulging hostile or careless people who don't deserve it.Another important point on following distance and respecting others' following distance. It's not there to give you three full seconds to react. Do it so that you have even one second to react to what's happening in front of you, when you are already reacting to or distracted by some other potential hazard elsewhere.
>>30252347You've done the proper training, have proven that you're confident with the rules of the road and are dedicated to making positive change in your life. YGMIDon't be too heartbroken if you fail the first couple times, I think I failed my driver's test three times before I actually got it because of anxiety and I've been driving for 6 years since with a flawless driving record. Just play it safe, and good luck :)
>>30252571>>30252819>>30253652>>30254259>>30255154>>30255250>>30253739Happy to report that everything went well with my knowledge test. Now it's time to get some practice behind the wheel. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I could not have done it without (you).>>30253739Not that kind of 'tism anon, I was baptized as a baby child. I was referring to The Autism, as in Assbugers and the Autism spectrum.
I've met some people with black teeth. What does it mean? Are they drug addicts, or it's because of some STD?
>>30256824Their teething are rotting likely due to poor oral hygiene.
>>30256824I would imagine it is from habitually lighting a pipe in the same spot in the mouth.
>get dreads and start wearing streetwear>people actually treat you like a human being>lose my virginity to cute tatted girl, the type that wouldn't spit on me if I were on fire for the last decadeWhy is this?
>>30255951Coolio, wish I could wear dreads or braids or whatever htey're called, but they look a bit odd on whites.
>>30255960Vikingbraidmaxx
>>30255940>Why is this?You look like the kinda nigga she particularly likes. Dreads/streetwear is "the look" right now if you're a black man
>>30255940Basically you sold out your individuality to more closely align with popular trends. As a result you were more accepted by other normies and they started treating you better. God how easy can be if you just give yourself over completely to mainstream culture. I could never do it, but I don't blame you for doing it.
>>30255940What kind of clothing brands do you buy? Do you own a nike tech?
What's the point of mating if children aren't the goal?
>>30255291Theres not. Its a sin and just fornication. Those steps are actually going down, in to hell.
>>30255285It's fun
>>30255285cum!
>>30255291>Sex is such a commodified thing nowadaysPeople who think this, don't actually know history. You were raised on western values and think that sex before marriage is a sin. But the Bible says nothing of that nature. Marriage wasn't a thing, you just got a wife by accepting the Father's dowry for picking their daughter. That was the ultimate commodity: a wife that you get paid for. Sex has always been paid for, there's a reason it's called the oldest profession. Stop letting Boomers tell you right from wrong.
>>30255417The staircase to hell starts with having kids and getting married?
I'm not handling this break up very well.I feel helplessly alone and depressed out of my mind.How do I stop obsessing over my ex?How do I get myself out of bed in the morning?Please help, thanks.
>>30256807Unironically just get up and do stuff.>Go to the gym, lift heavy>Meet people, especially women>Eat good food and drink lots of water>Don't drink alcohol or take drugs>Sleep 8 hours a night>Get out into nature, digital detox>Go travel somewhere>Join a clubDon't give in to lethargy and you'll be aight.
Pussy comes and goes dude you will be okay
>>30256807You literally force yourself. Then go call one of your Bro’s up and go get drunk with him. If you have close Bro’s now is the time they’ll be there for you if they’re true friends. Crank up the Rascal Flatts song and have a good cry if you need to.
She’s getting her vaginal walls extremely stretched by the new Chad/Tyrone she’s hooked up with.
>>30256807RUNEXERCISEPICK UP A HOBBYSPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILYTHROW AWAY AND OR DONATE YOUR EX'S STUFFGET OUTSIDE
hi anons, ill get to the point. i think im depressed and i feel like I have been for a long while now. I'm terrified of social situations to the point that I will walk around to the opposite end of my dorm and enter from that door if I see people talking by the closest door. I'm anxious to the point that I pick my cuticles and skin. I can't get up in the mroning and if I don't have class I'll easily sleep 14 hours a day. Even when I'm awake I feel fatigued and I just don't enjoy doing stuff anymore. I don't play videogames or watch movies (things that I used to love to do and I feel too tired to spend time with my friends). I want to try antidepressants but when my mom took me to the doctor to diagnose what was wrong with my sleep I pussied out and didnt tell the doc I wanted to try antidepressants. Looking online I think the best thing for me would be some lexapro. Is there anyway I could get lexapro online without prescriptions?
blue pill, I'm sure it will fix everything. just take it. you don't need feelings.
>>30256948i dont get this post do you mean the blue pill from the blue pill/red pill meme
I’m struggling with staying faithful to my wife. She’s a beautiful woman with a low sex drive and I’m a horny bastard and I see girls checking me out and I know it would not be hard to pick up girls at all. Im struggling not to be a horny degenerate but I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been this way from even before I even understood what sexuality was as a young boy. Has anyone else dealt with this successfully and how so?
>>30256598Onahole
>>30256598you made vows retard, if it's something you really can't take then just tell her. And if she still does nothing then file for divorce.Nobody is forcing you to stay in a sexless marriage, but stop lying and saying you love someone when you're thinking of cheating on them.That is nonsensical.
>>30256598> Im struggling not to be a horny degenerate but I don’t know what to do.I'm assuming you've talked to your wife about how this is bothering you. Having sex 1-2 times per week is the general norm for married couples. If it happens less than this, it could be that the way you approach it doesn't work for her. If you feel like that's not enough, you could try sublimating through a hobby you can put your energy into, like getting a membership at a makerspace and getting into woodworking or forging, or whatever you like enough to take your mind off cooming. That's basically the path drug addicts need to take to beat their addiction, so it might work for a high libido too.
>>30256598Imagine ruining your life and throwing it all away because you're a fucking coomer.You disgust me.
I spend most of my day on discord, watching porn, or watching youtube shit. I'm in college right now. I don't go to lectures. I do assignments an hour before the deadline. I barely study for exams until the day of. I am on my last $10 dollars, unemployed. I am missing out on an insane amount of opportunities, and I'm too fuking old to be doing this. I'm mostly on discord because it's the only form of socialization I have. I don't like to admit it but I'm pathetic as hell, I want to date a girl I met on there (I know it's retarded). I'm stuck on youtube because I dunno, it's an addicting cycle and I enjoy procrastinating way too much. I'm just straight up addicted to porn. I need to turn my life around. Here's my current resolve, is this a reasonable method to start actually having a life?1.) ask the bitch out to get it over with, quit discord if she rejects.2.) stick to one porn slut starting now, then drop porn totally starting one week from now3.) quit youtube shorts cold turkey, download my music
>>30253184You acknowledge what your issues are, which is more than many do.Now just go out and fix them
>>30253184Anon you already know what the issue is and how to fix it why are you asking for advice xD. Just take action.
You've recognized your problem, now it's time to do something about it. What you need is the will to do so, if you don't have the will to change, it's not gonna happen no matter how good of an advise you get.
>>30253184>1.) ask the bitch out to get it over with, quit discord if she rejects.Should not do this because you have a nigger mindset towards women (calling ones you like "bitch")>2.) stick to one porn slut starting now, then drop porn totally starting one week from nowwhat does this even mean?>3.) quit youtube shorts cold turkey, download my musicyes
>>30253184As a 32 year old who still hasn't kicked his porn/doomscrolling habits, you should be afraid. You should be very afraid. This is killing you, it's destroying your potential. You will never get the hot girl to be your wife, you will never have kids, you will never make good money. You are going to be doing this same shit until you die. Stuck behind a desk in a crappy apartment, lonely, feeling like a complete failure. That's your future. Take this seriously, it's not a game, you can't go back to change things later. You need to stop this behavior right fucking now and never look back. Your life will improve, I have seen glimpses of what could have been for me. It's not too late for you. Save yourself.
Anons, today I have decided to make the move, any suggestions???
whats your plan
>>30256524What do you like about her ?
>>30256524Tell her you’re going to get ice cream and for her to come with you. Everybody likes ice cream.
>>30256725don't you have a country to run joe ?
>>30256654Her pooneeti of course.
I have a bit of an interest in forbidden relationships, specifically young girls with older men. I enjoy loli art. I read books like All The Ugly and Wonderful Things, Tiger Tiger, and Lolita. I like movies like Pretty Baby and The Professional. It's mainly just a fantasy, I would never seek out a young girl. I just find the stories exciting and often tragic. I just don't know how I would explain this if I ever got a girlfriend for example. I would hate for a girl to come over to my apartment and say "wow you have a lot of books about little girls". So idk. Am I fucking myself by entertaining this interest?
>>30254964> Pretty Babythe fuck is that?
>>30254630Marrying a 15 year old and starting a family is "demonic" but the all out whore session we have nowadays where it ends with a relationship at 34 is "the path of truth and righteousness".kys buddy
>>30255265It's a movie Brooke Shields was in when she was I think 11 years old, she has multiple nude scenes and not of the cute-little-kid variety, she's done up all sexy, full frontal. The seventies were fucking wild.
>>30256758Reminds me of a famous Brazilian turbo whore called "Xuxa", she was 18 or so at the time when she made a sex scene (not actual porn, but at the very least 16+ rated on today's standards) with a 11-12 year old boy. He grabbed her naked tits and all. During the scene she says>come here my little soap (as in "I'm gonna rub you all over my body"Love, Strange Love" is the name of the movie.The boy grew up to become an actual porn actor. I wonder how much this literal pedophilia scene turned him into a turbo coomer in real life.Pic related.
>>30253834Like, you have physical paper books of this shit?Yes, get rid of them ASAP. Burn them, ideally.
How to stop hating women?Serious question
>>30254585what >>30256093 said.Elaborating: women are not the source of evil in this world. Or men. There's bad men and women and good man and women. Stop obsessing over people choosing to be pricks. Not your problem. Spend your time actually investing in good women.>how to find good womenfirst understand them. You already have a good understanding of men and can tell a shit one from a non shit one. The more you learn about women the more you'll be able to tell who are the shit ones or not.We naturally gravitate to the prettier ones, which tend to have gigantic egos. So it warps your perception. Because you're not perceiving the plenty of other women people don't pay attention to.When someone is "normal" it's like there's nothing pulling your attention to them. It's a nice meal vs a sugary cupcake. And then you complain that you ate too many cupcake and your tummy aches.
>>30254585Why do you hate them to begin with OP?>hardmode: no incel or incel-adjacent answers
>>30256100So are you for making this gay thread.
>>30254585hate is an emotion. I acknowledge that women are evil & do not let it effect me. Let the truth flow through you.
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