[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

[Advertise on 4chan]

Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


[Advertise on 4chan]

[Catalog] [Archive]

My buddy and I are fighting because he feels I'm a boomer for thinking it's easy for any reasonably intelligent person to get a six figure job. I want /adv/'s perspective on who is right.

For context--We're both in our late twenties. I make about 150k as a consultant in financial services, whereas he's struggled since graduating to hold down a job and was a househusband to his now ex-wife for a while. I think overall we had equal advantages in life. We're both tall white guys with a 130+ IQ, he's better looking but I have a deeper voice. We both have a Philosophy degree from a mid-ranking uni. His family is very rich, mine is lower middle class. My parents were more involved than his (i.e. I got much better coaching on how to interview), but he grew up with a better friend group and richer life experiences, and was less weird and autistic as a result. Also, his dad paid for his college whereas I had to go into debt.

My position is that so long as you can stick to a plan, anyone can be comfortably middle class in 5 years, and any smart person can make six figs. It's a matter of doing the research as to what pays well, getting the credentials, and showing up until an opportunity emerges. Obv you need luck for any success in life, but you have to pass a threshold of merit to even stand a chance at getting lucky, and over time the proportion of success attributable to luck approaches zero. Who is rich at 23 is 90% luck, but who is rich at 30 is 90% merit/agency and 10% luck.

His position is that he hasn't been successful because of bad luck and an economy that doesn't offer as many opportunities as in the past. I think he's partially right (2010s labor market was def bad), but that if you're unlucky over 5 years it's your fault. He's had a few decent entry-level jobs he quit because of some perceived indignity, or was fired from due to what seems like carelessness to me. I think with a different attitude he would easily be making six figs by now.

Who is more right?
68 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26499914
>they produce tons of value that isn't economic
agreed
>and requires a high IQ degree.
requires a serious education, roughly to the caliber you'd get taking a high IQ major in college. You can also learn all of that online for free pirating textbooks and just studying by yourself.

OP is not a retard, he's just doing a poor job of communicating his frustration with a world where people cognitively capable of earning $100k+ are making $15/hour at Starbucks and demanding student loan forgiveness, that people who pay a higher tax rate like OP will foot the bill for, even though many of the same people demanding it could pay their own student loans off pretty easily if they simply subverted their entire cognitive faculties towards income maximization.
>>
>>26497639
Honestly this, the most successful ppl I've met were motherfuckers who just stuck to it for years to the point their seniority carries them now.
>>
Most of what is being described is survivorship bias. Not everybody can do what you did, just because it was simple for you it doesn't mean it would be simple for anybody else. I agree that being rich at a young age requires more 'luck' than being rich at 30+ where the impact of choices become more apparent, but that survivorship bias also becomes compounded, look at anybody struggling to break out of retail roles in their 20's for example. Work is compulsory for many and it takes up the majority of your time and energy so once you are in something you tend to be stuck in something without the freedom and opportunity to take risks and explore other options. Once you hit 30 something your die is generally cast too, it can be extremely difficult to get an employer to take your agenda seriously and why would they pick somebody with no experience over somebody with experience? If it was so easy to earn over 100k surely more than 9% of the working population would do so?
>>
>>26502957
>OP is not a retard, he's just doing a poor job of communicating his frustration with a world where people cognitively capable of earning $100k+ are making $15/hour at Starbucks and demanding student loan forgiveness, that people who pay a higher tax rate like OP will foot the bill for, even though many of the same people demanding it could pay their own student loans off pretty easily if they simply subverted their entire cognitive faculties towards income maximization.
total student loan forgiveness and the political movement around it is stupid but just giving everyone 1 free attempt at a degree at a state school is obviously superior to our student loan system and what every other developed nation realizes is a much better system
>>
>>26497598
>USA
>mean income $67k
>mean iq 98

you are educated, you know the statements you made are incorrect. stop being so disingenuous

File: 1621873471474.jpg (1.05 MB, 1439x1394)
1.05 MB
1.05 MB JPG
How do I identify high value women?
48 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26497834
Coomers
>>
>>26494299
you browse the agencies website
>>
>>26494299
They are Ph. D.s or Ph. D. students or have a job in STEM.
>>
>>26494327
Don't go after stuck up bitches anon. Focus instead of finding high quality woman.
>>
>>26494299
pic not related obviously

File: 1652964047394.jpg (625 KB, 1080x1616)
625 KB
625 KB JPG
Best strategies to stop yourself from drinking when you get cravings? Pic unrelated
10 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26500998
Drink whole milk. Trust me, it works. If you try this please report back.
>>
>>26502096
>Ryan gets a trans woman
FTFY
>>26502115
Idk, I don't think they want to advertise the fact that men can have that as an alternative to dealing with women. I think feminists are afraid of virtual women and sexbots
>>
>>26500998
Depends on the context as well. I don't identify as an alcoholic, but I'm from Eastern Europe, which means I used to be kind of an alcoholic by everyone else's standards. (Drinking until you black out? I've done that so many times I can't count by the age of 20.)

Anyhow. Due to moving away, and realizing that maybe my dad drinking every single day while his liver results are bad might not be the path I wanted to follow... I always have some water and ("healthy") snacks on me. When my blood sugar is alright, I manage to avoid alcohol. So for me personally the key is to make sure I'm well-fed.

I used to feel peer pressure to drink at social events for like a good 5 to 7 years. The "why don't you drink?!" was getting boring, especially when it's free drinks obviously. By now I'm older, and I definitely feel and see the benefits of not drinking, so it gets easier for the most part.
If you actually identify as a recovering addict, it might be more difficult, and in that case I recommend finding a buddy or AA or whatever you have in your area.
Take care<3
>>
>>26500998
Keep visualizing yourself as the ill, alone, filthy looser alchohol leads you to.
>>
>>26502119
no need to sugar coat it, hes ugly lol

I know it's a cliche at this point but what are the chances for a
>21yo
>6'1
>Decent looking (been flirted with before)
>Working a shitty manual labor job
To find a girl that doesn't have a "diverse" dating experience? Even back in school all our girls used to change a bf at least once a year and in college in was norm to just fuck random people like it's nothing.
It's kinda sad.
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26505227
I don't know you, but probably. How can you have those stats and doubt yourself? Get out there
>>
>>26505289
I dont think his stats are good enough
>>
File: FJ4rLsVUYAEjTuX.png (375 KB, 680x652)
375 KB
375 KB PNG
>>26504887
Yeah feel you man. Everyone basic understanding of men knows this. People call you incel for it. Not getting married is an option too just make sure you don't get resentful of women just because you don't find them viable partners. No one is owed anything in this life that is one thing we have to learn.
>>
>>26505235
>miles of Chad cock before yours.
Most women fuck 5/10 normies and Chads barely exist.
>>
>>26504965
I feel you bro. Parents are from Eastern Europe too.
That world is gone now. Just gotta try to live in the present and accept it.

File: 1ae.png (16 KB, 809x808)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
I really thought she was the one. I tried to do everything right. Tried to be the perfect boyfriend. There was nothing I could have done better because I literally tried my best. And still it wasn't enough. I was her first and she wanted to "enjoy her youth" and "didn't want to be tied down so early".
I am 100% sure she will regret it, but it will be too late. It hurts so fucking much, to do your best and still to not be enough.
I have the looks, the money, I have many good friends, girls want me, my life is going in the best direction it has ever been, and still all I can think of is her prefering the "freedom" of getting used by random dudes she meets going out over the life I could have been able to give her next to me.
I just want to find someone who I can trust and love, who I can share my life with, who I can build a family with, and just thinking about the possibility of going all over this again makes my heart sink in a deep hole full of darkness and pain.
How can I feel hope again when I tried my best and still failed?
The more women I meet, the more women I have sex with and the more women I get to know, the more I feel disgusted by them. I just feel as if even if I feel love again, I will not be able to forget the horrible things they have done to me or to other people with me.
Is this really how life is? Do I really have to manipulate and use them to get what I want and just forget about a real meaningful and lasting relationship like the whole redpill community says?
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Wasn't as meaningful as you thought if she left you for "freedom". You've obviously learned what you do like, and you know what a real connection feels like to you. Yes you will find it again, don't be an asshole, don't become jaded, don't become desperate, don't get weird. All of these are easy to become and they will be your fault, not hers. Consider therapy to get you out of this mindset faster; or if you choose to go through this funk alone create a reminder for yourself that if you find your personality slipping to go see a professional.

Yes she will regret this if you truly are as perfect as you claim to be. No, don't take her back, don't even talk to her. You don't know who she's been riding since y'all split.
>>
Enjoying youth is a rookie mistake. Life is not compatible with carefree, careless hedonism.
>>
>>26500867
Embrace the blackpill
>>
>>26500867
Welcome to hell
>>
>>26500867
This stuff hurts like a bitch, but it'll get better, even if you don't want it to. In the end all of your relations, money and material goods can be lost in the blink of an eye, and you'll be left with yourself. Make sure that you can live with that, and nothing will get you to capitulate.
It's going to suck for a while though, but you gotta tough it out.

File: H6hEQiLY.jpg_medium.jpg (47 KB, 878x960)
47 KB
47 KB JPG
I'm a woman
ask me anything
47 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26500386
got some life hacks for a dude?
>>
>>26502253
No way
>>
>>26500386
Are you a woman?
>>
>>26500386
Woman, why aren't you interested in me?
>>
>>26500386
Why do you think I care?

File: 20210710_130347.jpg (10 KB, 358x327)
10 KB
10 KB JPG
How do you shake the feeling everyone around you would be better off if you were dead? I feel like a leech. I've got no drive and I don't even like being alive. I vividly imagine living any other life I can think of as a coping mechanism. I feel empty at my best and utterly parasitic at my worst.

File: 1629251102985.jpg (26 KB, 750x750)
26 KB
26 KB JPG
If a girl you like says she's not interested in you but offers to be friends, should you be friends or just walk away?
15 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26505611
Yeah, so you're a shit who's barely anyone's acquaintance but far from friend, surrounded by other shits who are in similar manner. I mean you get what you all deserve but that doesn't make me wrong.
>>
>>26501873
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a crush is to get to know her. And realize she's not that image you had in your head. Had this happen twice, one girlie thought was perfect actually cheated on her bf multiple times, and bragged to me about it. Another, after years of knowing her and thinking of how smart she was, found out she was easily swayed with whatever everyone else was doing. She just did a lot of drugs. Go for it anon, and learn just exactly who she really is
>>
>>26505685
This is so randomly hostile and assumptions. I have a friend group of like 8 people and we hang out literally daily during throughout the semester. I just also know a ton of people I don't see as often.

You're not even responding to my points your just assigning me all these character traits you think I have based on two sentences.

If a girl tells you she wants to be just friends 99% of the time they're just being nice you fucking idiot they don't actually want to be friends.
>>
>>26505732
>This is so randomly hostile and assumptions
>proceeds with hostile answer making assumptions about what the other anon believes about girls
You two chuckles are fucking worth each other.
>>
>>26501873
walk away

I have a problem probbably. Im at collage and have a gf from high school for like one and a hlaf year. She is quite pretty, is loyal, knows how to cook, caring, good with children etc. but she is dumb af. Like I have to use lowest form of humor around her so she gets it (she is somehow in collage too). We dont have much in common, she is like really vanilla. I dont even find her attractive most of the time now (wasnt problem then). Im bit afraid to break up w her, our family members are friends, but quite often I found myself thinking when we are together (Wow how can she be this simple). All we do together is watching Marvel movies and really simple comedies cuz she would not get any satirical humor and she thinks it is stupid. Any advice? Should I end it now or will it be better overtime when I get used to it? Like I like her desu but Im not sure I love her.
1 reply and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26505694
we dont have blcks in my country
>>
>>26505671
sounds like you want someone to tell you to end it. I'd say end it and itll be better for both of you in long run
>>
>>26505726
I DO A LIL BIT OF TRAVALIN N SHIT BVLL SLAVE! YOU CAN CALL ME A XPAT AND SHIT
>>
I'd say make sure this isn't a hangup with you first and it isn't the lense through which you are viewing the relationship otherwise you'll leave her for nothing, don't compare her to others and don't focus on what you don't have but rather what you do have
>>
>>26505671
That's what any break up will feel like. If you never leave her, ever, that means you two will eventually get married and spend the rest of your life together.

You're young, relationships don't mean anything that young.

I like to:

Ride motorcycles
Hike, backpack, and camp
Surf
Mountain bike
Road bike/cycling
Meditate (interested in yoga)
Ski and snowboard + Backcountry snowboarding
Programming
Weight lifting
Off roading

But for the past few years I've only had one friend and he only does one of the things I just listed with me.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
11 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26504444
*wish we
>>
>>26502542
Go where people who like those things go.
Say hello.
>>
>>26502542
Try a bouldering gym. Everyone will be very social and they'll even be some chicks there.

If you like mountain biking and hiking chances are you'll enjoy it too.
>>
>>26502542
None of your hobbies are hobbies where you're forced to interact with people. Try dance, BJJ or MMA
>>
>>26505874
Anon that is actually a fantastic idea. Thanks everyone, this thread has actually been helpful.

>>26504444
>It's so disorienting when you go on this shithole site and actually have a good interaction like this every once in a while.

Tell me about it. I mentioned Im a programmer in my OP, I've always thought about building some sort of web based chat for this site. Something where each board/pair thread has its own room/link where if you have a connection with an Anon you can jump in and pursue it without doxing yourself immediately.

I've got two other side projects on my hands right now but at some point I will actually take this on to see if anyone would use it

File: 1646828362728.gif (1.63 MB, 305x300)
1.63 MB
1.63 MB GIF
As a guy who isn't used to dominating in bed (won't even suggest to switch positions), what are some good ways to "dominate" a girl who is into that and being "hit." I don't know exactly what she likes but I want to be prepared a bit because I don't want to seem like a pussy
>>
>>26505556
bump
>>
Hair pulling from behind
Slap her if shes facing you
Spank her ass kinda hard if you're fucking her
Sometimes I'll scratch her back
Neck biting or hickeys
Maybe some choking but you know keep track of her breathing, those are easy ones without the need for any gear.
>>
Hair pulling is the most basic, and her reaction will instantly validate you + make you excited to try more. You just need to know how to do it:
>pull from the roots/close to the scalp, never by the ends/middle of the hair
>grab a large bunch, like you're making a fist with your hand and intertwining with a bunch of hair as you do
>try soft pulls when making out, grabbing a bit of hair behind her ears
>also when making out, slide your hand to the back of her head, pull strongly but slowly, you can control her head movements, pull it back exposing her neck and kiss it/lick it
Makes girls go crazy.

File: 1651756361097.png (799 KB, 1280x720)
799 KB
799 KB PNG
hi adv.
so i had a friend who said she needed space because of irl things. after a bit she blocked me with her reasoning being needing more space, she kept me elsewhere.

then i decided after a month hearing nothing of her to hit up a friend of her. yes, i did reach out to my friend a while ago but i did not get a reply, yet alone knowing if she saw it or not.

i knew that friend a bit before. i asked her how she was doing and if she wanted to talk, she said sure.

we talked for a bit, I explained why I hit her up and what happened between me and her. she said things between them were not as good as they used to be (they used to date). but unexpectedly she decided to block her because she didn't feel friends with her and my friend. i was just shocked and said my friend at least deserved an explanation.

flash forward to today, i basically got told my friend was mad at me for talking to her, and that that friend blocked my friend. she wants nothing with me anymore.

i feel i ruined a friendship and I can't even explain myself to her. i asked her friend to consider unblocking her but she's acting weird about it.

point is, i feel insanely guilty about it. i never wanted to hurt my friend with that, and all i wanted of the other person was just an update on how my friend was doing, to at least see if it's good to reach out again.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26501969
sounds really tough, sorry that happened man. people are cruel.

almost 6 am and I can't sleep. I feel so guilty about all this. my friend doesn't know the full context either other than that friend blocked her because of me. i want to hit her up and explain it at least, but I know that's dumb. if she keeps me around at least I could still explain it, but I still don't know if that's smart. could still convince the other friend to at least talk to her about it but idk. its not my concern, between the two, yes but I take the blame for causing it.
>>
>>26502824
honestly i would just let things go, due to her reacting negatively the second time.
i think that blocking after requesting space is unnecessary, and kind of negates the point of setting boundaries, but if she was trying to leave completely itd make sense that she'd do it this way in an attempt to avoid issues and it backfired on her. blocking her friend that still had connections to you is the main thing making me think this, so unfortunately id recommend giving her a lot more space.
once again, if you were to reach out, make it one final time, emphasize you wanted to respect her boundaries but disappearing like she did made you worried, and you hope things go well for her. it isnt up to you to figure out if shes okay or if she has an issue with you, because you seem to have given her the space to voice any of this. its on her now, and if you keep leaving the door open, id say the guilt is undeserved.
i hope you can get some sleep anon, even 40 minutes with your eyes closed has benefits. please take care of yourself.
>>
>>26503145

I got some sleep in even though it haunted me

I think she's just mainly angry that friend blocked her because I talked with her. She doesn't know much of the context either, I guess, so it's mostly a big misunderstanding and I got stuck between their issues as well. That friend felt that way for a while now according to her. I guess she eventually overreacted by blocking my friend.

Point is, it's their issues. They need to talk about it themselves. My intention was just asking that friend how she was. You're right though. My friend didn't have to block me at all, but unfortunately, I think she never wants to do anything with me again.

We live kinda far away but still will be in the summer vacation nearby her. I don't know if it's a good idea then to talk it out in person rather than online. She can always bring someone with her.
>>
>>26505304
i cannot stress this enough, do not initiate contact again and especially not in person after this. the best way i can put this is make yourself findable, and leave the door open. dont abandon the account you talked on, if she knows your usernames then she can search for you later on if she changes her mind.
if she really does want nothing to do with you, running after her will only reinforce that. let her go, focus on your own life for now, but leave the door open, if you truly valued that friendship. youre allowed to reflect on it and change your mind as well, she did just ditch you and not tell you what you did wrong after all.
>>
>>26505612
I just want to talk about it and clear things up with her, and about her blocking me a month ago as well. We do need a talk really, but she's stubborn for thinking she's right and it's easy to blame it all on me, I can imagine it. I'm a pain as well for not letting go. I mean, I just basically my only friend, of course, going back to that life of pure loneliness is utter terror for me. It's really hard for me to make friends. That's why.

If that takes a month, year, idk. I don't think I can forget her, while she just will.

I won't change my plans for vacation and yes, I happen to be in her city, as well. I think talking it out in person could be better but I can imagine shit won't work at all. But if I happen to pass by her workplace, then maybe, idk. Time shall tell.

She has not blocked me elsewhere other than discord, so maybe she may feel confused about it. Point is, I'll keep my accounts and her added, but I won't use them for now on. There's just no usage for them now.

File: 1653076045309.jpg (131 KB, 969x630)
131 KB
131 KB JPG
I have a date downtown today and I live in the suburbs. On the one hand I want to ask her when we meet if she wants to go for a drink, because it might make her more willing to fuck. On the other hand I would prefer to have my car parked nearby in case she agrees to go to my home, so we don't have to take a taxi or the subway. I guess my only option is drive there, park nearby, and if we drink we have to take a taxi or the subway, and I have to leave the car there until after the date which possibly means overnight. Or what's the best thing to do? Maybe a drink is best for instant dates while a scheduled date the day after picking up a girl from the street as I did it's better to go for a walk or a coffee and then to the car, and then home? I approached her on the street, got an instant date where we had coffee at a cafe and then I got her number. Maybe the fact she wants to meet me tomorrow means she wants to fuck? So I can just take her home shortly after meeting her? Also she's a tourist, so she's probably not gonna be here many days. I don't know how many days she's staying here but chances are she just wants fun.
>>
>>26505129
You go there with car. Meet her and drive/walk for 1h max. Say you want something to eat, so you wanna go backvto yours and order some. If she doesnt wanna come end the date
>>
>>26505129
Why don't you just communicate more with her? Inviting her to your place after drinks on a first date is usually a red flag for girls, don't listen to what you see on TV. She'll run thinking you're a creep and block your number.

Also expecting to bang and stay overnight is a gigantic stretch. Keep it simple and friendly.

i don’t do much besides work / workout and video games so my time is pretty free, hence being said i usually check my phone often and have it on me, so whenever somebody texts me i respond instantly, now with this girl i just started talking too is it bad to text back right away? sometimes i’m checking my phone to see if she texts back and when she does i respond right away? is this beta faggot behavior? i had a close friend that said no it’s not bad to text back right away, than another say like wait 5 mins or longer.
26 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>26503888
used to text a girl, she'd reply an hour or two later but I always replied her instantaneously if i was on phone, after that she'd also reply back and then we'd have hours long cover conversations.
So I personally don't think you should wait if you're free
>>
>>26504567
hour or two for 1st text
>>
Honestly if that's the kind of person you are, then you shouldn't have to change it. And besides, that's at least a good thing since she knows you'll always be there
>>
>>26503888
Get a job and/or a life
>>
>>26503888
When I accidentally don't respond to women's texts because of going on a long walk or whatever they sometimes get very pissy so it certainly helps if you want to see if you live rent free in her head so to speak.

File: viagra-price.jpg (64 KB, 900x600)
64 KB
64 KB JPG
Do Viagra pills lose their effects if they're stored for too long?
>>
The package has an expiration date on it. Check it.
>>
>>26505853
Drug expiration dates are laughably wrong. It's usually a minimum; a company will prove it's still efficacious after 2 years (or whatever), so they'll just slap that number on the box
>>26505787
Probably not unless it's a *really* long time
>>
>>26505866
Oh ok, I guess they just didn't work in me hehe :/




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.