/fit/ humor thread
(g)old
>>72919333What do you call a crocodile who doesnt lift? A crocodyel
>>72920958>Take fish oilIt's not the 90s anymore, we know fish oil does far more harm than good
>>72922633do we?
>>72919552Unfunny and forced.
I've got a health question.Say I drink 4L of strong beer in a night.I'll be waking up all night pissing, maybe 5 or 10 timesThen wake up horribly dehydrated and feel like drinking endless waterWhy the fuck does my body piss so much if it's dehydrated?
>>72922625>trannime>Alcohol is poison, quite literallyyou are fat
>>72922570Alcohol makes you piss, simple as. Drink water before you go to sleep and if you wake up during the night, it will noticeably help you minimize some of the effects of a hangover.
>>72922645Not even that. The acid cycle result in mostly water and carbon dioxide. I sincerely doubt that is the reason behind you becoming dehydrated after consuming alcohol.
>>72922570Mike Stoklasa
>>72922625Trannime is poison too, just for the mind instead of the body. At least alcohol is fun
>eats your flesh
>>72922646What's her name?
>>72922661tried to ask her - got a gutteral growl in return. women these days, ugh
>>72922646underrated
>>72922661lil floppy
>>72922658You wouldn't get it.
I know you've all seen the video at this point. Did he deserve to get banned?
>>72919674NoInstathots are the worstThe only good ones are the ones that record themselves to show how much they can lift, or for form judgement
>>72919674Ban them both. I don't have any love for ugly chinks nor fat baldies
>>72921196>>72921182She doesn't look afraid at all, she told him to fuck off.
>>72921066>be american>start walking in a circle like a retard and screaming on camera when inconveniencedRoid rage manlet is at fault for the whole situation.
>>72922688When leftists and women say "I feel unsafe" or "this makes people feel unsafe", they actually mean "I don't like it".It's doublespeak meant to appeal to American companies that censor stuff that makes people "feel unsafe"
I don't want to be a bodybuilder, I just want to be ottermode.Two questions:A. Get away with eating at maintenence or do I need to bulk then cut? Getting enough protein is not an issue for meB. What lifts are the most important for me to do? I'm planning on doing a 4 day split but I have no fucking idea how to build a routine, and I've been winging it for too long
>>72922405also should say the best routine is the one you stick to. at this point is okay to no have full routine worked out. warm up, bash out 3 x 12 pushups w/ 60s rest between sets and stretch. focus on form and breath-in on concentric movement (the pushing up). give this try today and see how you feel.
>>72922355this is fine but perhaps information overload for OP at this point. he must get taste for body and movement and strength before anything else.
>>72922405>>72922418Dude, thank you. I have some rings so I will set those up, I also have a bench that I think I'll do low weight high rep incline press with, aiming for 15? Reps.I love whey, fish, and I cook a lot of soups with bones so I think I'm good in the protein aspect of things. I can easily get 150g
just lift lol you're not gonna accidentally get too big
>>72922433yes yes yes. very good OP I think you will do just fine. stay committed to you goals and important to have fun whilst obtaining them. develop strong sense of *practice* and this will lead the way. foster intuitions - training is not just mechanical following of program as some here would have you believe but deep communion with yourself as physical body. must gradually learn from experience, it is tacit knowledge only gained through practice. also do not be afraid to experiment - as long as you are doing the work. maybe fun to take up sports such as rock climbing. also do not neglect cardio, mobility and conditioning! but don’t let such as endurance exceed ~20% of trading, prioritise strength of a minimum 80%.
>buys $300 equipment>literally just thin metal sheets welded togetherFuck y'all bitches
>>72921383Buy some thin metal sheets and weld them together yourself?
Are you telling me that all you need in order to be an alpha male is a decent career, a well developed hobby, a trained body and a tiny bit of game?
>>72922593Sounds like you’re getting older, surgery?
>>72921785There's no game or gym or hobbies or career that can fix your height and face
>>72922630I’m old but not that old. Still in good shape. Surgery? Like hair? I have a full head still. I workout, have a house etc. think I’m being too nice on the dates coming off as weird or needy when i don’t want to scare the chicks bc i am sort of scary irl due to muscles and tattoos. Or it could be that i brag too much. Chicks ask me what i do or where i hangout and i just tell them the truth. May think I’m insecure idk
>>72922656You have three options:>Numbersmaxx>Passport bro>Lower your standards dramatically
>>72922665Probably numbers max is the way to go. Idk if standards is the problem bc i attract nice looking women but I’m doing something to turn them off so it leads me to believe the problem is something I’m doing.
>sleepmaxing + nofap for 3 weeks>clear skin, hotter face, eye contact with chicks, mired all the time, better jokes and faster brain activity, more confidence, gratefulness to God, talking to strangers fuck bros. this is all there is to it, im reaching my maximum potential
>>72921626>>72921553coomers coping. ignore the jew threads psyopping you to watch porn because it's "Healthy">Keepin my life energy in me>keepin my fire burning>retaining my fertile youth>not wasting it rubbing my penis for pixels on a screen alone in my room
>>72921553do a 72 hour fast while taking antiparasitics if you never have before. nearly all of us have worms sucking our vitality by default.
>>72921663can someone normal confirm if this is schizo rambling or real
>>72921772You even gotta ask?
>>72921553>gratefulness to God
No sides? Now fat people will just be able to lose weight?
>>72915579>>72920493>>72920520I cannot -- scratch that, I actually CAN -- believe that retards would willingly take drugs to avoid reading nutrition labels and adding numbers>it's okay if I'm constantly nauseous>it's okay that I feel bloated>it's okay that GI tract is fucked up for monthsJUST FUCKING ADD UP THE NUMBERS AND STOP SNACKINGStop buying slop. FFS
>>72920493>shillsWe are now using the term "shill" for people that are trying to dissuade you from buying unnecessary products HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
>>72915727This. It's not like roids that enhance a workout that you are doing (technically rest recovery but you get my point). It's just to make you eat less and also causes damage to you.Like holy fuck why dont fatties just NOT put food in their gullet? Saves money, saves time, you just DO NOTHING and you lose weight.imagine spending money to inject yourself with poison when instead you could just NOT put fucking food in your mouth
>>72916604you'll still pick up on the lack of willpower in other areas of her life and other psychoses.There's the old rule to never hire a fat person. it's because if they cant take care of themselves, they dont have the willpower to take care of anything else.ozempigs didnt build willpower to lose the weight.
>>72920493Man you must drink some strong coffee
Is he right again, /fit/?
>>72920399
>>72914994Backwards for me
>>72914994Blaha got wicked mad at this video.
>>72914994I went full nazbol after a few years in my gym, so... kinda?
I went from fat neet to ottermode pussy slayer because of my anime wife Satsuki.
I eat my vegetables because my mom always told me to. Simple as.
Al Michael's has never eaten a vegetable and he's like 80
>>72921602You're a slave
>>72921602Gee Bill, how come mom lets you have TWO bellybuttons?
>>72922560one umbilical cord wasnt enough to keep up with his gains
>>72921767who is that absolute stud he looks not a day over 18 with the musculature of a 35 year old athletehow does he do it?
You know the drill
>>72901348ROLLING
is it true that some peoples elbows just don't work with the traditional "elbows in" pushup? everyone has always said my pushups look weird and to tuck them, but it feel weird and unnatural to rotate them that way. Genetically my brother has extremely double jointed elbows like 2 double joints, I don't have it to that extent, but I think I do have it.
doing 4x what i roll
>>72922608MORE
New gym goer here, Want to increase my physical performance, don't care about looks. I am currently 22 and have been in the army since 17 (which fucked up my diet and routine / finishing contract soon so I started again)Thank you all in advance
>>72922402There's a sticky, it's the thread with a running dinosaur.Follow the dinosaur.
>>72922509I can't fathom how I didn't read it before posting.Thank you for taking your time to reply
>Yeah yeah TOMORROW im gonna change my life>easy peasy>Oh well okay this time for real TOMORROW after I wake up I will change my life, promise!>Okay enough fooling around THIS TIME I mean it!!>No more excuses!>Repeat every other week>Lose more and more trust in yourself until you dont dare making any promises to yourself>Hell
Is this a demotivational psyop? Some sort of way for us to join in on your jewish humiliation ritual, op? Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
>>72918488i was legitimately like this about 3 years ago. I dropped out of college and was wage slaving for minimum during the pandemic. Worst time of my life. Every day I told myself I would change my life for the better, and I got stuck pushing it to tomorrow, and the next day, etc. I had very little time, but then i started working out, by doing the worst pushups you can ever imagine. I started, very small and messy yes, but I started somewhere. You add little things here and there. Dont try to completely change everything in a week, you'll end up quitting it. Make small lifestyle changes that evolve into major ones. Count your calories, drink a little less soda this week, research proper nutrition, look into things you enjoy, hobbies, education, work opportunities, etc. Today im attending university for engineering, and Im hoping to hit 2lp8 by the end of this year. I know its not much on this board, but i remember when i could barely do a couple push ups. Start small, but dont lose hope. Little by little things start to add up. Dont compare yourself to other people, compare yourself to what you started as. Sorry for the rant, go ahead and make fun of me, but keep trying and dont give up.
>>72921869Based and inspirational.
>>72918488I don't look like that and I've never said those things.
>>72921869This. My mindset when going to the gym is that I've won by just walking into the changing room. Anything on top of that is a bonus.
>rape fantasies are backlifts for this?
>>72922308Stopping gooning x F
>>72922308In your fantasy, does he kiss you after he's done?
