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In the din we stared as the flames flicked and offered roaring light and heat. Though we were beaten back, we could not help but feel determination at so converted a resistance. Something was not right, and it was obvious why.

The Dragons have ascended, and war descends down the tree. Monsters have become more aggressive and the Tree Responds likewise.

We are but pedestrians caught in the middle when weeks ago we were considered vaunted heroes.

Alas. We are adventurers like everyone else, and we'll like them or die like one.

Runner Scholar - 3rd Ascent, 1st Night.

The Level is Concluded, and we learned a valuable lesson on our first ascent...


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>Accept Resurrection

"Honestly being dead sucks kero~"
Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d6)

Don’t touch my featuressssss. ( Looking forward to it )

It seems arbitrary to suggest that guards advancing is a significant issue. Hatty had a layer of Regen, and that’s all the support anyone could feasibly provide

I think retreating east stranded a lot of people, led to needing multiple turns to move so few other actions become possible, and spread us out.

Good moment to think on: next time, we can consolidate and wait out the night. No creature was individually an impossible challenge. Our lines were just in disarray and with 3 move shuffling 18 spaces will take a while for anyone! Hunkering down and stacking up works better in this terrain.

I’d also kindly ask that we do not throw high level monsters at each other, the moment I understood I had to deal with a Hydra and a thrown Dark Lord was the moment I figured I should get rid of all my munitions and leave the branch. Relocation is a powerful force. Lets try not to relocate monsters on top of each other unless its a strategy we all agree to.
Considering your survival is nothing short of a miracle and that your useless firework basically removed a threat from the lord's hunt flank, I'd say you're part of the problem too. I'm not even going to start expanding on how far behind you were lagging the whole time either.
I did it. I think?

Timo, of Delphi | Brave Human Courtier Rank:1
HP:40 SP:32 MOV:4
EVA:11 RES:9 PHY:10 MEM:7 CHR:22
Weapon (E): Tempered Honor
Armor (E): Woven Dignity
Features: Noblesse Astra, Etiquette, Royal Authority
Skills: •House Crest, Blinding Aura

You are 999, a blobby mass of joy and happiness for all! And you are currently getting into a glaring contest with a cosmic horror.

List of (most of) your current Traits/Skills/Trinkets/Friends&Enemies/Unknowns:

O5 Quest 2 Finale: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nJbAK46FAl1B7j7WaqA4Z7O48LseF3cFLkmD4IjduWA/edit?usp=sharing
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>Summon up a storm to blind it!
Weaving power and frost into yourself, you decide to go with an old classic. You aren't sure how it will hold up now, but you'll put all you have into it all the same.

As Blue levels another crackling punch against the mass of the entity, you can visibly see the blaze about him starting to decline. Sure, he isn't slowing down much, if at all, but the power behind his blows is definitely petering out.

Guess that's where you come in.

Channeling all the might that you can muster, you push your power out into the space above and between you. And with that, you can down the rain.

Or more accurately, a downpour, judging by the force of it all.

>Rain-Call (F++)!
>Rain-Call (F+++)!

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>>Assess the conditions of Blue and Red whilst you have the chance
>>Use Purifying Touch to try and burn away at it
>>Assess the conditions of Blue and Red whilst you have the chance
You move over to Blue, checking up on him and his current condition after everything that he just did. And overall, he isn't looking so hot.

His body looks battered in some places with riplling lines that spark with leftover energy moving all along his frame, as if channeling his power in such a manner had actually ended up injuring him. He actually leans into you a bit when you move to him, his body naturally flowing into yours somewhat.

"[Never...doing that...again...]" he huffs, breathing slightly ragged. You can definitely understand why he wouldn't want to go that far a second time.

Looking over at Red, you can see that using his Chains did something to him too, but he doesn't show it quite as much as Blue. Still, he definitely looks pretty run-down from his efforts at holding the entity in place for so long.

>Take the opportunity to heal Red and Blue whilst you can
>Let them heal and replenish themselves
>Something else (Write-in)

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On the hill they call Mulberry, in the land they call Redwind, in the kingdom called Casalia, there is a manor without a name. It is a manor without a history. It is a manor whose origins been so thoroughly obliterated by time and circumstance--as much as the stones in its fields have shrunk to pebbles by wind and water-- that it may as well never have been, and so, has always been.

It stands patient, on that hill they call Mulberry, in that land they call Redwind, slave to its future master, child to its future parent. And finally, he has come. He is you.

How did you come by this manor?

>Through blood and steel: you single-handedly routed some bandits squatting here and took the lodging for your own
>Through craft and cunning: you won the deed in a high-stakes gamble--which, of course, you had rigged from the start
>Through lineage and inheritance: it was given to you by a distant relation, an eccentric scholar purported to cavort with demons, witches, and spirits of the dead
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I agree with this, it makes sense in the context of the conversation and will provide possible future opportunities to get to know the people around town.
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Sorry for not a post yesterday, spent the day moving so my computer wasn't set up.

This is a convenient chance for you to both agree to attend, but also to dodge her other question. Not that you're trying to remain incognito but you'd wanted to not go around blurting out all your details so you intend to keep to that.

"Certainly, I'll be here for it. What manner of festival is it? What is it in celebration of?"

"The solstice a' course! Eatin and dancin!"

In this quiet, quaint little town on the border of nowhere, you would guess that festivals are the main source of entertainment for people. No theater here to speak of, for example, so folks make their own fun.

You remain in the dingy kitchen then long enough to finish your stew... and when neither Mags nor her father are looking, chuck the fish head out the door. Long enough as well for her to talk your ear off about the festival and how she's sure to fetch you a girl if you don't have one by then, but by the time the field workers start to show up for their own portions of food you take that as your signal to leave.

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>Try, if you can, to find someone or someplace you might be able to learn about... things. Then again, there's always your uncle's library...
>Try, if you can, to find someone or someplace you might be able to learn about... things. Then again, there's always your uncle's library...

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UTC+1 18:00 August 19.
Be there ;)
Also provide your tripcodes so we can ID properly.
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Gee, 1977, how come OP let's you make TWO moves?
Traitor, who needs a social life when facing never ending war for the fate of the city.
I wonder
Rolled 695 (1d1000)


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-After getting your body hijacked, you possessed a cat with a plot to get revenge.
-You allied with and body jacked a store clerk in order to bring your body jacker to justice.
-With the help of Akira and Sunderland, you found that the ghost driving you was coerced into it and forced her into servitude under you, gaining Shiro as an ally.
-After the body jacking ordeal, you came to Needful Lendings with Katsu only to find that the last ghost was lying in wait there.
- Angered by being forced into servitude under the Big Ghost, the Skull Ghost summoned ALL of the Talismans-.. Talismen Ghosts in the store, setting them free across Shikano.
-Katsu ended up injured and brought to the hospital.
-You went home in defeat only to find Big Ghost - no longer wishing to fight you, he explains that the greatest trouble the ghosts are going to bring you now are the psychics.
- He left town, bidding you good luck.

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>STILL go to Sunderland to ask about ways to protect against Rise's mindfucking powers. The store may be gone, but Sunderlands knowledge of all things weird isn't.
It would sure be lovely if Rise was genuine and we made an esper friend who could teach us how to esper properly, but she has provided zero guarantee of her trustworthiness. Her weapon is words, so an apology with words from her is like someone telling you they're sorry while pointing a gun at your head. After having already shot you once.
Besides, if she was actually being honest before, she will understand the need. If she wasn't, then we really do need those countermeasures.
For 3, I just think Akira might of taken our advice about acting calm and invited her over to remove any suspicions about possession.

Also I would like to note that the one who told us about how bad psychics were also saw Victoria as someone who needed to die and could not be bargained with.
Victoria is a squaddie against ghosts but still is a XCOM rookie against espers. She will learn everything the hard way.
Psychics can be exactly as bad as Big Ghost said and Rise's story so be mostly true. The facts we have are
1. She used her power on us without hesitation when she thought we were a nobody
2. She has not yet used her powers on us since then. We would have noticed afterwards if she made us do something we didn't want to.

We do not yet know for a fact that she used her power on Ryuko/Akira. It's still possible that Akira just tried to play it cool and refrained from answering texts because of that. We still haven't talked to him, so we can't know if something is off or not.
The reason that matters is establishing where Rise draws the line, if at all. It's possible that she actually, genuinely wants to make friends without using her powers to do so, but also has zero problems using them on people that she doesn't really consider actual people. That's still absolutely horrifying, but at least it's a little more human.

Of course, until proven otherwise and until we have countermeasures, we should assume the worst. I don't even know what the worst is yet, but just assume she will do that if given the chance for now.
>Also I would like to note that the one who told us about how bad psychics were also saw Victoria as someone who needed to die and could not be bargained with.
Well he was right.

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Chronicles of Cheechong

Wizard Sports and Library Lovers

Previous thread: >>3734159
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Cheechong: “Okay, I’ll punch you sometime in the future then.”

You fly out of reach, just below the ceiling, watching him. He glares at you.

Cheechong: “You promised I’d get to make the first move! Going back on your word now would be dishonest. You’re free to “humble” us in competitions that won’t get us both in trouble!”

There’s a heavy silence. You keep hovering beneath the ceiling, making a mental map of potential escape routes. Your wings are getting tired. Then he starts giggling uncontrollably. He turns to the three guys hiding by the door.

Ben: “THIS is the threat you’ve been CRYING about since yesterday?! Get out of my sight!”

He takes a deep breath. When he meets your eyes again he’s smiling.

Ben: “I like you. You can come down now. I won’t hurt you.”

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>"That's what happened"
>"Larry was getting beat by some guys so I broke their ribs"

>Previous Thread
>Google doc with info on Quest

You are Lord Mentioc Auberon, last Son of the Old Blood of the Deepwood. Your ancestors carried the blood of the ancient Fey and so do you and your younger sister. With the collapse of the Altean Kingdom, the realm has dissolved into chaos and civil war with thousands perishing in the fighting. Refugees in their hundreds filter through the Deepwood, bringing with them tales of war, of slaughter and loss. Bandits prowl the land unhindered, striking where they please and taking from the weak. You have received word that one of your neighbors, Lord Blackpine has begun raiding the territory of another neighbor, Lord Ashburn. His hired bands of marauders have even assaulted one of your outposts on your border with Blackpine, loosing several volleys before retreating. Not all the news is bad however, your Kennelmaster Jor gifting you a young pup, one of the finest he’s ever raised.

But now you have received word of bloodshed in your own lands, a patrol of your guards has found a camp of refugees slaughtered, a young recruit by the name of Holden sent to bring you the news.

(Going of last responses before work kicked my ass)

>What of their wounds? Were they killed by men or beasts?
>You there get this boy some food and a drink!

You are silent for a moment, the young lads nervous breathing as loud as a trumpet to your ears as you drum your fingers on the desk. If this is the work of Blackpine or his marauders, you must respond in kind or he will see you as weak and powerless. If however, this was the work of bandits acting on their own brutal delights, assaulting Blackpine could lead to unnecessary war. This will require some investigation and the capture of at least one of the men involved if possible so that you may wring some answers out of him.

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Rolled 63 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

Rolled 36 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

Wounder if we can talk with the animals to show us the way.
Also keep it up enjoying it so far.
Like it how we the old kind of fae

Hmmm i wounder if they wed our people to make a human fae haybread to gurd there magic portal and forests?
I had a similar impression, the fey king married the noblewoman, maybe out of love or something but then they used that hybrid family as keepers of the gate simce they could not go with them. That hand on the shoulder while meditating was nice.

You are (now) a small, blind slime who has acquired two companions. A fluttering thing who is tied to the mash you currently keep within your void pocket and Ser Fuzzylad, a mildly obnoxious individual who has the odd habit of staring off into the distance at all times. You can feel that they have more of a grasp on things in general than yourself and the fluttering one.

>Touch stuff
>'Feel' around
>Scoot about
>Write in
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You take to touching the flat rock which you first remember waking on. Feels just as smooth as when you cleaned it free of every speck of dust and grime not too long ago.

Meanwhile Ser Fuzzylad stands upon the rock with the array of ores laying defeated beneath them. A supreme victory!

Might have time to run another session on Sunday or Monday. Thank you for attending tonight.
Thanks for running
thanks for running dude you may need to dedicate a corner just for all the symbols like a separate part same size picture but ad in a menue outside that nornaml sized picture
Aww, did I miss my chance with this quest? I just finished the backstory and was hoping to jump into it. this quest seemed awesome. If it was a video game I'd play it.

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The Star Nations and galactic empires of the past had blossomed in the center of Beta, a little corner of The Galaxy that was one of the last to be touched by galactic commerce. As time began to pass and space began to shift, many wormholes opened up in the center of Beta and so those living here learned that we lived in "Beta" to begin with.

We learned that while one quadrant was old and stale, another was plagued by war, and still another by eldritch abominations; we were a place of blooming futures and rising fortunes.

The Suffering, ended over 22 years ago, after burning and killing for almost two generations. Not one single Star Nation was able to hold onto two planets, not one empire held together during the infighting and invasion.

In our little corner, The Mist, we went from being open to quadrant after quadrant, galaxy after galaxy; to being isolated down to the solar system.

We have had enough time to lick our wounds, when The Mist has began to clear, and now we find ourselves surrounded by bandits and imperialists.

We need to do something.
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The Faction

Alexey Stranovik sits along the leadership of Kholodnyy, and looks over the holoscreen that shows all the statements, notes, suggestions, and considerations of this second late night meeting. A long complicated meeting, which has drawn on even longer then the previous one a few days ago; has yielded massive changes. With all the new technology available to the Kholodnyy and Alexey, and the complete acceptance that The Church was a mistake, it has now become time for a second and third evolution for the regime. Alexey is declared the "Lord Protector" of Kholodnyy Protectorate, separating him from The Tzars, the Imperator, and The First Citizen. The Lord Protector Alexey has stepped away from The Tzardom and his regime has followed, casting away the expendability of endless millions and the complex competing factions of The Tzardom. The Protectorate stands between the Imperium and The Aleksandr Regime, like both, and like neither. The Imperium was more organized and streamlined, everything running up to the Imperator himself. Aleksandr was a spread out confederation of planets connected by a powerful trade network of mass industry, and propelled forward by the reverse engineering of new technology. The Lord Protector was however, very much like both of him, in his strong consideration of a more professional force.

Perhaps it was because a smaller military would mean more maneuverability, and free up more manpower back in the factories and industry. Perhaps it was because expendable legions were for the most part incapable of obtaining proper objectives in combat. It could even be entirely down to just despising The Tzardom and many things it stood for. Regardless, no one was insisting that The Tzardom was strong and to be respected, anyone who thought such things was now dead.
Scouts however, had told him that time was slowly fading away. Either Xenos, Aleksandr, or The Scourge would be knocking on his door soon. Currently, he had access to one sub-par world and the unusable technology of a space station.
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Where we last left off, the fleet of Alexey was exploring the bottom right system.

Octantis has the standard beacons which report the name of the system, and has what appears to be a solid interstellar space port at Octantis 3. According to longterm scans and basic readouts on how the location is setup, it appears that the location has two important facilities setup on the planet. The first is an exchange facility that has a vault of Tzardom..."Tzars" (Coins with a picture of the previous Tzar or the one before him or the one before him.), along with a reasonable understanding of trade good values. It's unclear why the small outpost with a few tens of thousands of personnel is setup so far from Tzardom space or not staffed by Tzardom people. The other strange facility on the planet is a "Heretek Destruction Center", which also appears to be run to Tzardom standards, despite never having had a single Tzardom person set foot inside of it.

Alexey suspects that the planet he's looking at, with it's heavy radiation, is a "blacksite". He has moved his fleet in and some of his forces to prevent them from attacking him. He has yet to find out what they want and who they are. Then suddenly, the following happened.

Your clunky trading fleet with a moderate security force and a Tverdost company, has detected less then 12-14 100 meter to 900 meter vessels. Unfamiliar markings and shapes. They have landed on the empty side of the radioactive planet and your scanners can't detect them now. Before they landed you detected a large shipment of small arms.

What should Alexey do now? First to two or most at 24 hours is chosen.

A, Go home

B, Speak to the planet carefully.

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Youre a dwarf.
What do you wanna do?
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Reclaim a lost hold.
Wonder where the human woman are at
Strike the earth!
I say drink until you can't drink no more. If you're still conscious you haven't drunk enough

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Sorry guys I thought it was wednesday today. Let me know when you are here.

Also, isnt it somewhat easier to tell which monsters can be civilized by seeing which ones have a language when we trap them and which ones dont? Then again Krabby can talk now, but that was a very hard evolution

Previous thread here >>3717945
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>>It has no deeper meaning, no need to overthink it
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How's this for Dawn?

>>It has no deeper meaning, no need to overthink it


"...so instead of 120.000 credits, we'd like to ask for about 75.000 and a copy of your family's rockitship blueprints..."

The dinner moves on, with Stella and the marquis talking about the purchase of the marquis' beastkin kennels.

As we expected, he really wants those, eh?

Stella looks at us for advice... yes, yes, I know.

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>Disagree. We'd rather just pay the money and raise the perceived value of the blueprints for a later negoatiation
the plans are worth far more, since whoever has them will be able to start their own trading and freight company.

>Other: let Stella try to sway us, and we waver, but ultimately hold on
Project that decisions concerning such a valuable family asset as the rockit-ship plans can only be made by us, the heir. But our weakness is our little sister, so if they suck up to her, they may get a better deal from us.

Also, what do they take us for, idiots? 120,000 gold is something that we could get in a week of heavy dungeon grinding with all of our Pet teams, or that our company could make in profits in a few months.
supporting >>3766812
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I think this haircut makes her look cute and friendly

>Also, what do they take us for, idiots? 120,000 gold is something that we could get in a week of heavy dungeon grinding with all of our Pet teams, or that our company could make in profits in a few months.

Well, it is a lot of money for a normal person, you know? We earn like a intercontinental corproration, so they think it's a good offer.


"Ah... big brother, my funds are..." - our imouto starts speaking, but we gently shusch her by placing our hand on hers
"Its alright, we can make that much..."

>Within a couple of weeks with ease"
>Any day."

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Hello. My name is Marilyn Sage, and I'm a fiction writer. Naturally, it was a bit surprising when I realized that everything I write becomes real.

But I'll get back to that. First some background. My favorite colors are lavender and light brown. I rarely leave my house, because it's a seriously depressing world out there, but I do drink a lot of coffee, so I have to go out and buy some occasionally. (No, I don't have a cat, I'm not THAT much of a cliché.) As for how I make my money, I've considered drawing tentacle porn, but I can never get the faces to look sufficiently anguished, so instead I long ago just rewrote the past to make myself a wealthy (but eccentric, obviously) heiress. Yes, I know I could just write myself an endless supply of coffee as well, but that would be disrespectful to the coffee spirits, who honor perseverance in the face of mediocrity - and you'd be amazed how many times summoning those guys has gotten me out of a tight spot.

I don't have like a huge mansion or anything, of course - I like my simple old house in Arkham. It has everything I need - dusty attic with those round windows that go all the way down to the floor, old Victorian furniture, kitchen with actual counter space, wardrobes and cupboards linking to other universes, booby trapped treasure rooms with non-Euclidean geometries, subterranean catacombs echoing with hellish screams, and a bread maker. (I really like fresh bread.)

So anyway, here's the thing. I'm bored. I've been trying to write an adventure for myself to go on, but I can't think of anything. So if you're willing, I'd like you guys to help. Whatever I write will become real, and then I'll tell you what happens next and get your advice on how to continue with my adventure. I'll post photos of what happens sometimes, but since so far I haven't managed to figure out how to get my computer to email stuff like photos from my universe to yours, they'll probably just be painstakingly photoshopped PNGs made by the guy in your universe who types this stuff out for me - please thank him, he works hard.

So, right now, I'm sitting at my computer in my office, sipping coffee. I'd describe the area but this isn't a text adventure, I imagine you don't care about that level of detail. You can decide what I should do next:

> Go to another room / explore other parts of the house (it's very spacious)
> Go out to town to buy more coffee (my stores are running low, but I've been procrastinating)
> Write something (you'll have to give me an idea though)

Oh by the way, you can ask me questions about myself or the world or whatever and I'll respond, but please keep in mind, I'm not here to just chat, but to shamelessly steal story ideas from other people to overcome my own frank lack of originality. (And probably end up in a dungeon getting brutalized by goblins, desu.)

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Wow it's kinda depressing how only one person is replying, but better one than zero, right? Anyway.

At this rate I'll honestly be surprised if he does have mushrooms. I feel like he's probably into darker stuff. I guess I'll find out. The meditation center is only a few blocks away. Somehow I have the feeling yet another odd thing will happen on the way there so that I'll have more to tell you in this post. Wouldn't that be funny?

*a sudden scream is heard in the distance*

Yup. I knew it. By now, the sun's gone down, so looking for the source of the sound, I can't really see much, but it sounded close. I couldn't tell whether it was a man or a woman, but it sounded bad. Oh - there it is again. I have to help this person. Normally, a woman like me wouldn't run toward that, but hey, I'm wearing hiking boots with a mind of their own, I probably couldn't avoid running toward it even if I wanted to.

*gasps for breath* Wow I really am out of shape. If it weren't for my shoes I probably wouldn't have gotten here so fast. So here's what's before me. No danger in sight, not that I'd be able to see well in this darkness anyway, and I left my sunglasses at home (they're enchanted for night vision as well) - but in front of me on the ground there's a young woman lying in a pool of blood. She looks like a teenager. It's not a large pool, but it's coming from a wound on her neck. Kneeling down next to her, I can sort of see in the dim twilight that it's two bite marks. A vamp. And a sloppy one at that. Why couldn't they just buy from the blood vendor like a normal human? Well, not human, but you get my point.

Touching her neck lightly, I feel a pulse. She's alive. I take out my permanent marker. Messy, but it'll do in a pinch. Next to the wound I write, "The neck wound heals almost instantly." The neck wound heals almost instantly. She's still not awake though, and her attacker could still be nearby. What should I do? It's getting really dark, so I need to make a decision fast. And I STILL haven't gotten to the meditation center - by now, DaRayyus has probably gone somewhere else.

> call out for help
> leave the girl, try to find DaRayyus quickly and get his aid

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Well I have to go to bed soon so I guess my goal of getting this story to sort of synchronize with RL time is not going to succeed. I'll see if there are any replies tomorrow - I hope there will be. :)
>try to wake the girl up
You could delete the thread and remake it with better picture.
I don't know how to delete threads. I tried to delete it yesterday immediately after noticing the mistake but it didn't delete. And honestly I'm kind of tired of bothering with the whole thing anyway and I'd rather not continue it, but it seems impossible to delete threads on this board.

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Last time on Bigger Bad quest
>Ever since you were born, there have always been three spirits stand next to you
>The first is the "head" resembling a giant grotesque head with disproportionate small limbs that control string.
>He is the kindest of the spirits to you, stopping the other two before they could do anything. He like dolls
>The second is a perfect spherical orb, smooth in appearance.
>The third is a mess of tentacles and limb. It always makes strange sound, and seems dangerous even to you.
>You call them Dolley, Rolley and Creepy as a child
>The name stuck
>When you was small, Creepy open a hole to another world. As a child, you explore the hole finding new and strange thing, even strange naked woman that looked like your mother
>You found a mural on the wall depicting Dolley, Rolley and Creepy in ancient time
>Dolly was hunting, Rolley process the bodies, and Creepy process the rest
>They suddenly force strange substance down your mouth that resemble the corpses depicted on the mural.
>You cry for help and Dolley cut the other two, stopping the ritual. The two feed a flying doll monster to Dolley to appease him. Since then you gain the power to fly
>When you were 8 years old, the three's temperament start becoming worse. It seems they were starving

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>>[] Your parents sent you to a traditional Japanese school, with strict teachers to get you up to speed. Surrounding you are native speakers, children as they are.

Gaijin children, native children children. Of all thing, a halfblood children is the most hated.

In one of the session, the teacher was going over the basic with the other children, you don't understand much, but still try to imitate. Suddenly though, the short hair teacher says

"Why are you so dumb? Dumb, dumb, dummy."

It was a surprise, but you don't even know how to react. When you look down at Miniyu, he was sad too, however, he was also a bit angry.

The lesson continues on with you not understanding, suddenly the teacher says something Japanese while pointing at a new word on the board before saying loudly, in broken English

"Do you know what this word is? - mongrel."

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>[X] Go home
I saw that coming from a mile away. Our best option is to go home and tell mom.
Or find a really discrete way to sic our abominations on the teacher.
>[] Go home
[X] Go home
>[] Go home

> In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium there is only war and the laughter of the Thirsting Gods

I'm an edgelord /tg/fag that has the next three days off so I'll give >>>/qst/ a crack. You are a subhuman son of a bitch that has taken a fat shit on everything the God Emperor stood for and turned your back on the Imperium to become a Slave to Chaos. There's a 99% chance that this was the worst decision you've ever made but your mind is fucked enough that you don't care. To begin our low-effort, probably one-shot adventure into daemonhood, chaos spawndom, or corpse starch I have to explain the rules. Plainly put, there are NONE! Or almost none.

> Roll 1d20 when prompted, applying bonus for skills or mutations
> In combat you have to beat my roll, then the loser rolls 2d20 to see where they were wounded and how severe it is. After that, they roll 1d20 to keep fighting and if it's bad enough not bleed to death. This can and does instakill and cripple, but luckily, since you're a Slave to Chaos death holds no fear and cripples don't live long to regret their mistake.
> There is no specific system for mutations since it's impossible to know whether or not the Chaos Gods give a fuck until you're ascending or getting fucked up the ass by daemons in the Warp. Instead, when you do something Chaotic enough that Ruinous Power-senpai notices you you roll 2d100 for severity and usefulness then I pull something out of my ass. If you roll a 1 or a 100 on the second dice you are warped into a Chaos Spawn/Daemon Prince, depending.

Now that I've explained things, who the fuck are you?

> (Write-In) Anything remotely possible in canon is on the table as long as you aren't a named character because fuck that shit. If you are a regular cultist the quest probably won't last long but if you win despite that, you win

What the fuck Chaos God do you worship?

> Choose

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>Reward them by making them one of the first in the breach for the siege.
>Sacrifice each in 8 different ways, each way to please a different chaos God or Daemon. Let one go to please the anarchist; MALAL.

>We can use the nine corpses to make the ritual circle or something
>The five will be sacrificed in increments of one per (chosen god's number) minutes (or seconds, if we choose to kill them fast).

Anyone else have ideas?
I need more time to think on this

We could beat them in barefisted melee combat and rip their hearts out, Aztec style to ask for Khorne's blessing.
> How do you want to dispose of the nine corpses and five captives?
Eat them.
> What is your extensive and brilliant plan to subjugate the second-largest township?
Go "alone" flash blind and kill them if they start mobbing you. Challenge them to eithet provide a champion or be brought to heel.
While this is happening have your men secure key entry points and spill into the town.
Make sure there are patrols around the area to capture anything moving in or out.
+1 support

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You've spent 30 years of your life studying magic. Ten of these years were spent studying magic theory, then the old fuckers from the Grumblesnatch university crammed as much knowledge into you as they saw fit.

Now you're the old fucker. Ah, how times change, but you don't. You became a wizard because it meant power, not success. Suffice to say that you never liked people, with exceptions of course.

Now you live in a cave on top of Mount Fuckem. Barriers of force stop animals and monsters from coming in. Your bound servants clean the place up, and you literally conjure food from thin air. Life is calm and peaceful.

You're also one of the most powerful wizards in the land. The nearby village knows you as a sage but you only see those lads once a year and they don't know your full capacity.

Things are about to get uncomfortable.

What's your name, and what's your wizard name?
Note: A wizard name is given to graduates. It's essentially a more complicated-sounding version of your regular name. For example Andy becomes Andonicus and Jim becomes Jiranim.


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"It should be pretty fucking obvious how you can help me. Tell me about the UMT."

The man raises an eyebrow at your cussing.
"Ah, you a caster? Should've guessed by the robes. UMT's in ten days, lasts three days, takes place in the town square. That all?"

"I'm going to sign up. How do I go about this? My time is short."

The accountant calmly hands you a piece of parchment with various fields to fill out. You inspect it and do so with. You've provided the council with your name and education details. You hand the parchment over once done.

"Well done mister...Lordus. All you have to do now is show up when the fun starts. Good luck."

"Wait, I'm not done." you beckon. "I'm also looking for a Fernando. Fernando the Amazing."

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>scry gambler.
And then if nothing interesting, do not scry the bars, instead scry outside the bars and project a very loud "HEY FERNANDO, YOU CONDUIT LOVER!" and then listen for sounds of outrage.
>Scry the gambler instead. What's that shithead up to?
>Take inventory on your scroll pouch
Seriously guys? Are you really just gonna trust the cheat didn't nab a scroll before handing it back to us?
The bastard could have taken our Vintage-Edition porn, fer Chrissakes!
>Scry the gambler instead. What's that shithead up to?

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