Power rankings edition>Schedule:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnTicket/year_schedule/>Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspx>All the sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread: >>191535
>>194273Same.
>>194274>1980sThe bike choice passes muster as there were no better choices till about 30 years later.
>>194285
>Asashoryu has cancerwell that sucks.
>>194295he has harlequin ichthyosis ;_;
>>194295If only there were a weight limit....
>>194310Does he have weight based cancer or something?
>>194304
>>194314Yeah, cancer of the heavy, heavy Mongolian testes.
Has anyone done a Hunger Games with the Makuuchi sumotori? It'd be a funny thing to do maybe.
>>194295>nephews sumo gave him ass cancerthe current state of sumo....
>Asashoryu dresses like me.
It has now been a full week since Chris's last video, this is the longest Chris absence in memory, so its safe to say that he must've died, probably of vax cancer RIP Chris, you will never be forgotten.
>>194366>anon isn't a Chris Sumo fighting spirit patron getting the inside scoop on Takatoriki's latest ramblingsSad!
Why doesn't the UK have any sumo scene ;_; Seems like a great recreational sport
>>194268As a guy who isnt knee deep in the sumo scene, why is one guy in F tier just called lucas
>>194371i think them NORF lads would be pretty good at it, with the training and the motivation
>>194371It does, Eddie Hall did a video a few months ago where he visited a sumo club. Hopeless jobbers, of course, but UK amasumo does exist.
>>194394That's like the only sumo club in the country..I saw it
>>194371This slaphead is the face of British sumo and he runs two clubs, one in Derby and the other in Doncaster. You can go for a free session.http://www.sumo.org.uk/
>>194400>cool domain name>no SSLDamn.
>>194400Yeah unless you live nearby then enjoy traveling 3+ hours to get there lmfao
>>194427Make your own club then. There's no law against meeting up with your friends in a public park and doing sports.
>>194426The old site was pure web 1.0 kino with that one gif with the dragonball sfx looping constantly at the header of the homepage>>194427No skin off my nose. I could get to either club on a single bus ticket.
fuck I miss summowhere is the summo
>>194442There have been two jungyo videos posted last thread.
>>194448jungyo isn't sumoit's like ice skating vs hockey
>>194268UPDATED
>>194452>Hakuoho above TakerufujiNah. Nah.
>>194454They're on the same tier though?
>>194452Did you remove Ay Güey? I always thought it was funny to see Hakuoho go go up one whole rank when he takes his bandages off, just enough to be higher than Gonorrhea. That match was kino.>Lost the playoff to Gounoyama last basho>Fights all of the basho with the bandages>The day comes, Hakuoho vs Gounoyama rematch>He removed his bandages for that match>Wins with ease>Next day he has his bandages back on, for the rest of the bashoThat was some anime shit right there. You should add Ay Güey back to Rank C.
>>194469I removed many of the multiple forms including base form Ay Güey for the sake of space. It was fine in the beginning for everyone to have 3 powerups, but there's just not enough room anymore.
This is Spiffy's estimate banzuke. First time in a while that I didn't see someone in the lower rankings that look like they deserve to to be way higher and could threaten for the cup by having a massive first week.
>>194476Hokutofuji could do it. His douten was less than a year ago, and he'd be ranked even lower this time. If he's healed up enough, I see him at least looking like a threat for ~10 days.
>>194452>Rasputin
>>194452We need to start adding the new ozeki to E tier when they start choking>Tetas Quatro (Kotozakur-ACK!)>Discipulo de Kakuryu (Discipulo de Kakuryu)I can't come up with anything for Hoshoryu
>>194452Why is that one guy just called Lucas? Please enlighten OP
>>194483Lucas is recently retired Terutsuyoshi, known for his big salt throws. "Lucas" is a Mexican candy company known for making flavored salt.
>>194431Actually if you scare anyone you can commit a public order offence. Wrestling/sparring will scare weak hearted people enough to call the police
>>194484ahhh, thanks. didnt know there was a rishiki with the name lucas kek
>>194485I guarantee that nobody is going to be intimidated by Anon's sumo club.
>>194488There's not. Read the post again.>Lucas (on the chart) IS (the) recently retired TERUTSUYOSHI,
>>194492Could you dumb it down a little more, for the layman?
>>194479jej
You Schrishzoids can go to bed now, he is alive and well
now this, is a shit post.
>>194494No.
>>194507>How could you give your own fellow ozeki the ol' salty chikara-mizu?
>>194492>there's no rikishi called Lucashttps://sumowrestling.fandom.com/wiki/Agora_Kazuo
>>194492ah, im really stupid, thanks bro>>194528>Sandanmehope he will pull a tochinoshin
>>194535>ah, im really stupidWise is he who knows he knows nothing. You've become wise.
rip Akebono
>>194268>>194452Topkek
The new Chris episode is truly fantastic, I'm so happy that the rumors of Chris's demise have turned out to be false https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toxM3p1HOso
>>194525audible snort from me
>>194380Many of the jobbers don't get ring names until they get to a level where they might become somebody. It's far from unusual.
>>194431>>194485>Oi! 'Ave you lads got your obesity loicense then?>We're in Bri'ain, ain't we?>all laugh>the cop shoots the wrestlers
>>194627>british police having guns0/10, broke all immersion
do you HAVE to be part of some stable to compete in sumo?just theoretically if some freak mountain man decide he's gonna try it out would he be allowed?
>>194628The armed response unit is the only part of the English police that gets proper funding. We take croime very seriously here.
>>194630>We take croime very seriously here.Then why are your restaurants still open? Haha!
>>194629>do you HAVE to be part of some stable to compete in sumo?Yes. Before Japan was fully urbanized, it was literally the wrestler's second home as the "stable" provided housing, food, and proper supervision, in addition to sumo training. Even today, stables are also the ones that organize living and training for the tournaments outside of Tokyo.
>>194631dumb af, but I laff
>>194650I see you know your judo well.
bizarre 1926 portrait of yokozuna Tochigiyama
>>194666Looks like something out of a gachimuchi remix video
In 1989, Tanzania released a stamp set called "Famous Athletes of the World". Two of the eight stamps depicted yokozuna: Sadanoyama and Taihou.
Abi & Terao eating chicken wings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Absp0gq-R8
>>194650at least they're cute.
>>194452>Musashimaru>SaigoI don't get it
>>194650British police is in state bc of uk politics-i hate throwing that word around but they are focusing on diversity amd politics instead of competence and good training. Its becoming the norm in western europe, although the british isles got it worse.
>>194736Remind you of anyone?
New Sumo Plime TimeChris could neverhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soufMVlOy40
>>194763Chris has produced 11 videos since the end of the Osaka basho, Hiro's worthless lazy ass has produced 2
>>194786High budget, occasional videos with one-on-one interviews > Chris reading off the newspaper and reading the minds of the NSK boomers set to random footage of jungyo or the last basho.
>>194786Hiro's been busy being the JSA's secret hidden camera operative gathering footage at Miyaginobeya to bring down Hakuho.
>>194786the myth of the hardworking japanese is just a meme, hiro spends his days at the pachinko parlor and his evenings getting drunk at the karaoke bar, then he sleeps in, has a leisurely breakfast and does it all again the next day. he probably "works" one or two hours a day at most. chris works hard and produces because he isn't japanese
Hidenoyama stamp.
>>194791chris in absolute shambles
>>194786Quality > Quantity. Also Chris would literally kill someone and frame Hiro if it means he would take his spot.
>>194860I like Hiro, but let's not pretend that SPT is high quality. His backstage access is good, but incredibly underutilised, and the whole series is shockingly amateurish for an official production.
Can he keep his head down and survive?
https://www.instagram.com/p/C5-Y4_UrbkF/ugly bastard bros...
>>194878Did it once.
>>194901When the times were bwtter and the fro flowed
>>194268you guys know sumo is rigged right?
>>194927fuck that even mean?
>>194944
>>194898>Buys a parking lot in an exclusive area for $10mil to set up his future stableAbout those earnings...
>>194975
banzuke in less than 200 hours
>>194992gonna be my first time seeing it in person, I'm excited
>>194995>this nigga bought tickets to see the banzuke
I put a banzuke on my wall. Am I a weeb, now?
>>195016only if you have a katana
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202404220001076.htmllol. lmao
oh no sato
>>195018If Kisenosato and Onosato are not made to commit seppuku immediately it proves the NSK bias against Mongolian rikishi/oyakata.
>>195015they said I can put my initials in the bottom corner
western sumo viewers like to say>ugh sumo is such a backwards barbarian culture filled with violence which is tolerated at all levels. it MUST be modernised and the violence severely punishedyet they also like to say>woooow so hakuho gets punished just because he tolerated abuse in his stable. just more anti-mongolian racism. sumo is such a backwards barbarian culture filled with racismwhat exactly is their fucking problem?
>>195019>>195021>"underage" drinkingNothingburger. Japan needs to unfuck their backwards laws, drinking age is lower than 20 everywhere in the civilized world.
>>195019More like Oh no sake
>>195019
>>195025Worse cases were punished much less severely. They're making an example out of him
>>195033Westerners need to understand that not being in his own home (it's called a "heya" for a reason) is itself much worse, as it demonstrates a complete lack of desire to properly supervise and coach his wrestlers, which should be his full time job. A one-off case of bullying at any other stable can be seen as a one-off that will be properly corrected. But a shisho who doesn't live in his own house and barely shows up at all creates a situation where such corrections cannot be made without the shisho himself being first corrected.
>>195027Onosato looks like the type that would buy alcohol for underage drinkers anywhere in the world.
>>195036he's a good lad. we had a guy like that when we were young.funny thing that he was also underage, but big as fuck with full beard at 15 so nobody was asking for id.i will root for onosato now.
Heard Onosato is also one to make a toast to the hoes
>>195019At times I do wonder if there's some weird collusion with baseball to ensure sumo dies and Baseball can become the new national sport. It really seems like the JSA does everything in its power to scare off up and comers or ensure they want to quit, or even forcing them to. Hard to get new blood when you keep cutting yourself to bleed more. Also did he provide the alcohol at all?>>195025I think the Hakuho punishment was retarded because it just punished the wrestlers who already had to deal with that shit. Many had shitty records last basho because they couldn't train or do shit while the JSA jerked off about how to fuck them over. If your punishment ends up punishing the victims, it may be fucking retarded.Honestly if it was such a big deal they should have brought legal consequences. Maybe Hakuho would care more if he was facing jail time.
>>195042If you presented a choice to every elder stock holder, eithera) sumo dies the way it is, or b) sumo survives but with substantial changes to the elder stock system and the heya system which might include a loss in decision-making and discretionary power for individual elders A substantial number of elders would prefer it dies, as the system of stocks and stables means more to them than simply the existence of professional sumo wrestlers. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but the truth is most of those involved in overseeing grand sumo identify at least as much with the institution as with the sport, if not more.
>>195043Being the people to end a several hundred year old sport would sure get you in books. Not in a good way
>>195049Would you rather be the last king, or never be a king at all?
>>195042Most of sumo's appeal is in the tradition, as it's considered an "acceptable" way for Japanese to enjoy feudal-era culture, being one of the few things to survive both the Meiji-era modernization and the post-war Americanization. While the sport is still legitimate competition, it's also half performance art, and any Japanese who gets into it knows it. it's like young girls who still become traditional geisha, or boys who become traditional kabuki actors. You put up with the traditional aspects because that's what you signed up for, and what the audience wants to see.
>>195039
>>195043>with the sport>the sport>sportThis faggot thinks Osumo is a "sport". This is exactly why your opinions don't matter.
>>195060>average /sumo/ reading comprehension on full display
>>195062>average /sumo/ poster understanding of Japanese sumo
Jesus, Teru's son is huge. Kid's not even 2 yet and he weighs 17 kilos and is half as tall as Midorifuji.https://youtu.be/IPsFVgdTBcs?t=21
>>195066Might as well put him on the ranking chart already.
>>195068Can he pick up a Go board?
>>195066speaking of big babies
>>195066>>195068Considering how much pain Teru constantly lives with and he probably won't live to see 60, I don't know that he would necessarily want his kid to go into sumo.Play basketball or something, kid.
>>195035>Westerners need to understandAre you not a Westerner?
>>195052I think Constantine XI would rather not be a king in that situation
I became starved for sumo content during the massive interbasho doldrums so I decided to check out the older end of Chris's massive archive of sumo content and I found some good material that satiated my appetite. He has all sorts of neat stuff buried in his older content, what particularly turned me on was Chris's coverage of the elementary school and jr high championships. He has films of Hakuoho and other up and coming sumotoris back when they were just little kids.
akinomaki has imbibed.
>>195094He deleted a huge amount of stuff when he rebranded to "Chris Sumo", but I have no memory of if any of it was valuable footage or not. I know a lot of it was him sitting in a chair reading his translation of sumo newspaper articles into the camera.
>>195086would it be a foul if i fought oho and grabbed and twisted his big mole?
>>195094>what particularly turned me on was Chris's coverage of the elementary school
Manlet sistets......I don't feel so goodCan we dig up some glued wallets? Can we shoah his knees like Terunofuji? What can we do?We cannot suffer living under the fear of this humiliation for a decade.....we just cant.....
>>194968the little dude just signed with Sadogatake this week; he'll be the shortest rikishi since WWII.
>>195135Motomura vs Onosato:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2N-_p8wOdw&t=23
>>195142Hattorizakura had more fighting spirit than Hokuseiho Sr. there. Such a waste.
>>195146glorious chops
>>195151>Hattorizakura had more fighting spirit than Hokuseiho Sr. thereDewagatake was a sekiwake before his bones gave out, give him the respect he deserves
If only you knew
KWABtani intai.
>>195175Sorry I don’t speak /xs/ You’re going to have to narrow it down some.
>>195187He means Otani from Miyagino. He was one of the two who left with the move. He flouted custom a lot and probably wasn't going to make it, so it's not a shocker.
https://www.dailyshincho.jp/article/2024/04231653/?all=1An in-the-know member of the Nishonoseki kouenkai speaks to Daily Shinchou. >Apparently, the 19 year-old rikishi entered the bathing area, and Oonosato followed him in with alcohol and demanded he drink. Oonosato wouldn't take no for an answer, and made the wrestler drink a huge amount of alcohol to the point that he passed out, which Oonosato thought was very funny.
>>195195https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OloflbzNeMs
>>195206sumo everywhere for those with the eyes to see
>>195218
>>195219https://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspx?b=194506
>>195219Before.
>>195219>>195221The old Kokugikan had immense aesthetic.
>>195200>19 year old getting drunkThe horror...Lock this monster up and throw away the key.
>>195200bully onosatotime to close nishonoseki and demote owners and coaches
>>195200I'm getting white knight tumblr SJW vibes from this.>SHE WAS ONLY 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS OLD YOU SICK PEDOPHILE FUCK!Like, who the fuck cares?
>>195226You wouldn't like it if a man the size of Onosato decided to fuck with you for his own amusement. It's not about the drinking, according to the rumours, it's about yet another hazing/bullying incident. Nishonoseki seems to have done the right thing and reported it prompty and of his own volition, rather than letting it escalate and cause rikishi to quit, or trying to cover it up.
>>195230How would laws work in your world, without hard cutoffs?
>>195231>worst yokozuna is a good oyakata >best yokozuna is a terrible oyakata Total Japanese Victory
Ichinojo heading to California. Easily the guy with the best credentials there. Should sweep.https://www.allstarsumo.com/
>>195247He should get his back fixed first
>>195249I doubt he'll need it for amateurs.
>>195250I think he would need to be able to stand up to beat an amateur
>>195252Ichinojo with a 4 month break won juryo and makuuchi yushos. He'll have a year and a half break by the time he next competes going against scrubs.
>>195255That's true, but "barely able to stand" Ichinojo is more likely than not to return if he continues to do any training at all. If I remember correctly, he retired not too long afterwards in large part because the back problems took a turn for the worse after he won those yusho.
>>195260He doesn't need to do any training, he can just show up and look impressively authentic while a lesser talent obligingly jobs for him. American sumo is sports entertainment.
>>195261It takes literally one fat guy charging into him at full speed at an awkward angle to bring back the worst of his chronic pains. It doesn't matter what you think of American sumo.
>>195262Of course there's a possibility of aggravating his chronic issues. That's fine, as long as he makes enough money doing the performances. Even if he can barely walk they'll pay him just to show up and be huge.
Onosato to miss May basho with some sort of an injury excuse
>>195255>i think i'll just lie around and get drunk for a year and a half without doing any training and then immediately jump back into competitive athletics
where banzuke
>>195267Here's one
I for one would sign up for a sumo contest if i could fight ichinojo
>>195231>rather than letting it escalate and cause rikishi to quit, or trying to cover it up.This is the victim. The incident was in early September. Clearly didn't report it fast enough. For clarity, he's 19 now - 18 at the time.
>>195247Not bad. Good on ol' Ichi for finding a job that's not "chanko restaurant."
Banzooks!
Chris is using the Onosato business as an excuse to screech about his cringe SJW politics and invent imaginary racism to get upset over so he can virtue signal about how woke he is. No wonder the guy got kicked out of England
>>195287I heard Chris was removed from the kokugikan 109 times. pls confirm
>>195293This week, or....?
>>195279Did he stop showing up to tournaments after the hazing?
>>195297Might have gone back to his parents but not be formally retired yet because Kisenosato is hoping he might change his mind and come back.
>>195293And every single time, it was the venue's fault, right?
what's the lore on this chris guy
>>195317English teacher who thinks himself a sumo journalist. Posts his sometimes-biased translations of sumo news articles as YouTube videos. Occasionally spends time lurking outside of heyas filming and gets asked to stop or leave. Claimed credit for Sumo Prime Time because he yelled something about English content at a sumo director. Apparently lost his connection with Gunning years ago over his choice to continue being friends with a person who stalks sumo wrestlers(?)
>>195326Here's the Gunning thing; I didn't remember it quite right.
>>195200I would drink myself into a coma if onosato wanted to drink with me.
>>195342onosato wanted to get that kid drunk so he could rape him
>>195351Chris was that kid in a sumo disguise, he will show us his giant asshole in the next video as proof.
>>195351I don't think he raped him, but I honestly think that something happened beyond>Onosato lol'd and then went back to trainingThe idea he didn't fuck with the kid at all is hard to believe.
>>195353I think if Onosato did anything truly nefarious he'd have been pulled from the jungyo or not allowed to go in the first place. It is funny when someone can't hold his drink, and there's no way that the other lads at the stable were unaware it was going on, so there wouldn't be an opportunity to do anything particularly grim. I'm prepared to accept this as standard hi-jinks, and the trouble is more due to the fact that Japan is very anal about underage drinking.
>>195336>some random redditier hates Chris That pretty much goes to show you what insufferable bores those who tend to dislike Chris are.
>>195351Hokuseiho was also sexually assaulting his victims
>>195366So... it was HOT glue?
>>195365Dudes got a Wikipedia page... doesn't seem so random.
>>195336>regular victims of that other personDoes anyone know who this is? And what the hell did Chris even do back in the day?
>>195368>Wikipedia
>>195372
>>195372More than you'll ever have, Chris.
Anybody wanna talk about sumo
>>195377Not really.
>another copy of the nihon sumo-shi up for sale>yen is weak as hellHave to resist...
>>195381>nihon sumo-shiCare to elaborate for a newfag?
>>195389It's a really awesome history of sumo compiled into two big books. There's a guy in either these threads or maybe only the /sp/ threads who occasionally posts cool stories and pictures from it.
>>195391And it's rare or something?
>>195393it's expensive at least
>>195394I take it this isn't it? https://www.asiabookroom.com/pages/books/69792/kawabata/monogatari-nihon-sumo-shi-history-of-japanese-sumo
>>195395nope
it's overhttps://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/3e312321c817ab7cecf036868348687a855e0077
>>195397Thanks for elaborating.
>>195405I can't believe that Asanoyama has tragically died in a roof collapse at a hostess club
>>195406It's two gigantic volumes which reproduces every historical banzuke ever, all known(?) hoshitori-hyou, and provides what is intended as a critically minded complete history of the sport. The pages are each over a foot long and look like this.There were meant to be three volumes, as the first covers ancient sumo (800s) through Edo and the second is Meiji to the start of Shouwa, but the author, Sakai Tadamasa, died before finishing the third.
>>195365>random redditor That's John Gunning. He works for NHK. He's on the Sumo Preview show they do a week before every basho.
>>195412ty
Asashouryuu sez he underwent successful surgery [for his tumor?] and is improving. Effusively thanks Japan for being good at medicine.
>>195417I should have also said, there are only 1,000 copies of its original run; and it looks like there has only been one reprint, in 2017 (original run was in 1956). I have never seen a reprint copy outside of this photo, so I'm not sure how many of those there are either.
>>195428https://amzn.asia/d/hqu1PCABit steep.
>>195430Sumo does not impart its secrets upon those who do not give sumo their everything.
>>195430honestly if i weren't trying to save for my trip there I'd definitely get it. i'm not really sure how uncommonly it appears for sale online, though.
>>195267>where banzukeApril 30
>>195366>>195367They do say that the asscheeks are nature's wallet...
According to the latest Chris video, it looks like Teru is going to be showing up for the May basho to give out kinboshis during the first week if he makes it past the komusubis in the first couple days. Apparently he has lost 20 kg and hasn't been training until recently other than weightlifting.
>>195524>According to the latest Chris videofuck off>Apparently he has lost 20 kg and hasn't been training until recently other than weightlifting.gee I wonder where he got such specific information oh he's exact-quoting a sponichi articlehttps://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2024/04/25/kiji/20240425s00005000487000c.htmlNothing is "according to Chris". Nothing is ever according to Chris.
>>195526>influenza and diabetesOof.
>>195526problem?
>>195524Who is going to let Terunofuji retire by ascending to Yokozuna? How long will it take? Will he be another barbarian Mongol?
>>195534Not gonna happen. There will be no Yokozuna for a time, and then someone will ascend.
>>195531The problem is he refuses to cite his sources beyond occasionally saying >_______, according to the Asahi Shinbun.And does so in a way deliberately constructed to make it sound like most of the video's text is personal research, rather than translated & paraphrased newspaper articles. Let's look at the script of the video we're discussing:>Terunofuji returned to practice bouts on Thursday 25th on the Kisarazu leg of the April tour, calling out oozeki Kirishima and going 5-3. It was very much a test run of his yokozuna frame, according to Sponichi. "I'd rather call it a gentle workout," said the man himself. "As Kirishima has had neck trouble, we had to take things steady. My own muscles still feel tight, as it's been all weights and no bouts for the past few weeks. Not bad for a first day back," was his initial verdict. The worsening diabetes which cost him 20 kilos of body weight in February this year is now back under control, he asserts.Sponichi is the only newspaper which ran these specific Teru quotes, and of course they also published the general information. He ties the Sponichi attribution to a random sentence instead of the whole thing (eg "Sponichi reports today the following:") to make it look like he's doing something. If he made it clear to his audience when he was contributing nothing to the reports (thereby admitting he is not a 'sumo journalist'), I would have far less enmity towards him.
>>195538>If he made it clear to his audience when he was contributing nothing to the reports (thereby admitting he is not a 'sumo journalist')He only does it when he can whine about people criticizing him.
>>195025comfymaxxed
>>195538>>195540>Chris mindreads the wrestlers and makes some shit up>Schizo Chris REEEEE>Chris states when he's quoting a newspaper source, just not in the way I like it>NO Chris you HAVE to make shit up all the time otherwise I can't call you a schizo REEEEE
RoboCop with RoboCop
>>195558What the fuck are you talking about? He would be doing a service if he were just translating articles for an English-speaking audience and nothing else, and identifying himself with such a role. Go into his comments if you think people aren't deceived.
>>195563I agree with you on principle, but unless we're prepared to say he's an outright liar and fantasist, he does attend numerous events and has personal (albeit fairly casual) relationships with multiple active and former rikishi. He's not solely a translator and aggregator. Given that the commuity of sumo followers outside of Japan is so small, I think you're doing yourself a disservice if you completely write off a prominent and well-known source of sumo news.
>>195563His YouTube comments are the perfect example of why we didn't gatekeep sumo hard enough. Chris is the face of western sumo to those few coaches etc. who don't tell him to fuck off so it's no wonder we didn't get anything until SPT.
>>195582Is that a sausage swastika?
JSA Akebono tribute video uphas ENG subshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crFxgpVeqhY
>>195610He was so big and tall, why didn't he just stand there?
Kise beya has a public training session at a park and at the end of it they fought pretend matches again some of the little kids that attended. All of kids could figure it out except this one kid who didn't understand and just started playing in the sand. https://youtu.be/tEn1GxJLEBw?t=1239Wonder why that one kid couldn't figure out what was going on
>>195624>letting women on a dohyo sumo has fallen
I had a dream last night, or perhaps it was a nightmare, where I had gone to japan to become a sumo wrestler, but then I realised how that would impact my life and I tried to leave only to get trapped in an endless apartment complex, kinda killed my hype for the coming basho to be honest.
>>195627>womenLittle girls are okay.
>>195627>>195630Period blood is impure and that's what prevents women from stepping on the dohyo, technically speaking prepubescent and post menopausal women should be fair game.
>>195627
>>195624>Wonder why that one kid couldn't figure out what was going on>See the kid
>>195658The most powerful brand of sumo there is - to step in the dohyo and not even notice that your opponent is there.
>>195632I'd be 100% on board with onnazumo if they wore only a mawashi like the men. No shorts, no bodysuit, tits out and swingin'.
>>195715Japan should really just make Keijo into a real sport. It would single-handedly revive the Japanese economy.
>>195624>>195658>>195713>couldnt figure it outbet he rides one of these
>>195715FUCKING THIS.This is the problem with UFCW. No one wants to see boney ass lesbians tap each other in the face for 15 minutes. When I see a cat fight, I want to see some jiggle!
>>195744Even being 250 lbs won't give japanese women tits or ass
>>195747Lies.
Keisho not beating the lolicon allegations any time soon.>>195747Hitomi Tanaka did karate. Canan ASMR did kendo. Statistically speaking it's likely for there to be one girl with macromastia who did school sumo.
>>195747Surgery and hormones will, especially if they start straight out of middle school like a lot of rikishi do.
>the next Street Fighter Capcom Cup will be at the KokugikanI'm not going to lie, I'm hype, especially if they build a faux dohyo for the players to play on
Banzuke next week?
>>195779Should be this week, no?
the banzuke has, sadly, lost its battle with cancer
reminder this is Terunofuji's last basho.
>>195785In July he's just going to send his son and hope nobody notices the difference.
>>195779Banzuke in a couple hours.
>>195790For me, the banzuke is not official until it is on SumoDb
>>195789>his son is Ochil
I wonder how English NHK commentators will speak about the Miyagino scandal. They usually try to sweep scandals under the rug or try to euphemize them. For example, the Asanoyama scandal was never referred to anything but "violation of coronavirus protocols" by 3 of the 4 commentators. (The only one who hinted at the hostess bar thing was Murray.)
>>195796"Inappropriate roughhousing"
>>195796>Miyagino was incacable to carry out his oyakata duties so he and his wrestlers were transferred to isegahama stable
>>195796What Miyagino scandal? I don't see a Miyagino on the banzuke OR on the official list of stables.
>>195805>OR on the official list of stableshttps://sumo.or.jp/ResultRikishiData/sumo_beya/
>>195823Nothing to see here, move along.
its up https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/Takerufuji got 6eTakarafuji made it back to makuuchi
Hakuoho is officially listed as from Isegahama beya Its over for Miyagino
>>195829>Takarafuji made it back to makuuchiwe're fucking BACK
>>195829>KotozakuraGod, that looks strange on the actual banzuke after so many posts about it. Whose name change should we meme into existence now?
>>195836>meme into existenceNigger he's been pretty open about wanting to make that change.
>>195837I've never heard of a sumo wrestler that doesn't credit his success to the support of his fans.
>>195829>Jk20It's not owari da until it's owari da.
My guy Higonoumi up to Makushita 53
Onosato's ozeki campaign begins
Roga lucked out.
did otani really intai
So does Waka have a chance at Makuuchi? It's been done before but he might need a double-digit score and really good banzuke luck.
>>195884…and Abi's continues, he needs a combined 24 wins in May and July to clinch it
>>195829Can’t wait to watch takerufuji get shit on since he can’t farm low level comp first week.
>>195624>first ever pro sumo graduate from prestigious Tokyo University>reduced to fighting with simpletons in a sandpitTruly a tragic career.
>>195829>Onosato vs Terunofuji on day 1Nice
>>195916>Teru's last match will be against the next Yokozuna.Like pottery.
>>195911He beat a komusubi, a sekiwake and an ozeki, all of whom went kachikoshi. I don't expect him to struggle any more than you might expect a rikishi to struggle in the basho after his hatsu yusho.
>>195785>>195917source?
>>195923Ligma.
>>195839Fans outside of natural born Japanese do not exist.
>>195911It's pretty common that someone shits themself after winning the time before
Takerufuji's ankles will probably explode this basho
>>195938Depends on what you consider shitting the bed. I just ran the numbers and first-timers in the 15 post-war era average 8.6 wins.
several english posts on the hitherto jap only JSA instagram
>>195921This, plus he is still outside joi, so he will still be facing off against the weaker competition he was handling with ease. We already saw this recently with Atamifuji, if he is going to find a level that makes getting KK a challenge, its going to have to be in joi because the challenge of winning at M6 aren't all that much greater than at M17
>>195941Akebono had little sissy ankle and he did fine
>>195948Sumo, at least in America, still has some remnants of popularity from when the Hawaiians were involved. The boomers stopped watching because it stopped being on american television.
>>195948this won't end well
>>195951>the challenge of winning at M6 aren't all that much greater than at M17Weeell, I wouldn't go that far. Last basho, up to M13W, every wrestler had at least one juryo opponent. For a rising rikishi rather than someone moving down, that's basically a free win.
>>195948It isn't auto-translating based on region like youtube does?
>>195948The East... has fallen...
>>195951>We already saw this recently with AtamifujiAnd more recently with Onosato
Chris take the exact opposite approch to the Onosato issue that he does the Miyagino's misfortunes. In Hakuho's case Chris's reaction was "why are they doing this, this punishment is too severe" in Onosato's case its "His apology wasn't sincere enough, why doesn't JSA take more action against him?" So it's pretty clear that Chris is just a racist who hates the Japanese, which means that he can't be having a very pleasant time living in Japan, head have a better attitude towards his hosts if was enjoying his time there. And considering that Chris already wore out his welcome in England even after growing up in a very posh ruling class family, you have to presume that his misfortunes are of his own making.
get a trip
>>195954
>Endo at J3He'll probably make it back.Nice to see Chiyomaru make it back.
Odds on this guy being this first Musashigawa sekitori in a decade?
Guy turns 24 this year so he's probably nearing but yet to hit his prime. However he has never fought anyone higher than Ms6, so I wouldn't count on it at least for Natsu, maybe sometime this year or next year though.
probably about 100kg cheat swingsthe 200kg bench isn't bad, but its like zero progress from 10 years ago or whenever that other video posted
>>196042Impressive, very nice. Let's see his knees.
also, old thread has lasted even through banzuke day
I looked at Reddit's sumo board and everyone there hates Abi, so if you don't like Abi then picrel is you.
>>196055
>looking at redditThat's how we know you are reddit. Also, hating abi has been here since 2018
>>196072The fuck for?
>>196077Having a god awful style of sumoBeing a confirmed retard autistGetting rikishi banned from social mediaYou are supposed to Remove Abi not Enabled Abi.
>>196079I see two wins on that flowchart and one loss. That's kachikoshi, my friend. And he didn't ban himself. Blame that faggot Shibatayama. Abi stood up for what was right.
>>196079>god awful style of sumoIf it gets you to the top division, it's an elite style of sumo. I can't hate a winner.
>>196079We are all retard autists.We are all Abi.
>>196080>Abi stood up for what was right.Sleeping through meetings?
>>196090All rikishi got banned from social media because one rikishi slept through a meeting? Doesn't add up.
>>196091do you not get jokes or do you not know the context
>>196093I only know about his tied up photo thing and I think there were some COVID breaches or something?
>>196094
This nigga changed his name to "Showtime". I think I have a new jonidan favorite.
>>196102>first letter omitted when called by gyoji's>hoe time(moo)asanoyama would love this guy
>>196102>name in kanji is "shota dream"Keisho has competition.
>>196080>did not ban himselfno shit retard. he was the main catalyst for the ban. >>196085he got there beacuse there are too many mamachari riders in sumo.
>trolled instagram so hard he got all 600 rikishis permab& from social media If this doesn't inspire tremendous admiration from you then you are not 4chan material and reddit is where you belong. Abi is an excellent wrestler, he has championships in every division save for jonokuchi as well as 2 JYs and he is on his way to making ozeki. Terao taught him well.
>>196055Basing your opinion on what others think is the most reddit thing you could do. Not liking something because another group likes it (or vice versa) is reddit behavior.
>>196134It has never been a bad thing to intentionally avoid things that your enemies, opponents, or rivals like. If the man doesn't like Reddit, it's natural that he wants to distance himself from Reddit's ways, because those things are tainted by association.
>>196136Counterpoint: in order to avoid what Reddit likes, you need to give a fuck about Reddit in the first place. I do not give a fuck about Reddit, therefore I do not give a fuck about what Reddit likes or dislikes.If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Anyone have the webm of Ishiura gigaslapping Akiseyama?
>>196146
>>196128
>>196128>on his way to making ozekithis is never happening. Abi is too one-dimensional and inconsistent
>>196260Keisho is just as predictable and he is starting his 6th year as ozeki
>>196279Pretty sure all Abi haters are closet fags.
>>196305REMOVE abi
New Prime TIme just dropped
I see that abi has taken the place as rikishi with the most delusiona 4chin fans now that kotohnononowaka made it>>196313>see that man?>get him out
>>196335two western rocks in the bath
Chris says Asanoyama might not compete in Natsu bashohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKruZ1E2GzEIf he misses it then look for him to win Nagoya with the easy first week starting from a low rank
>>196353That's cool man but I don't really care, buy an ad
>>196353>Assman out>Keisho probably out>Teru not even training, will be out in the first week>Kirbyama no longer a factor, this will be his last basho as ozeki >Takerufuji still not practicing The field is wide open, Abi probably has the inside lane to scoring his 2nd cup, Zak & Boozeboy will probably be competitive too.
>>196353Kill yourself
>>196383>Teru not even trainingTeru doesn't need to spar to stay competitive. Even during his second ozeki run, he was already mostly doing weightlifting and sparring very little. It's not like he has much to gain from sparring anyways. He's not going to get that much better skill-wise and he doesn't really need to because he's better technically than pretty much everyone currently competing. It's been his body that's failed him, so he might as well preserve what little health he has left.
>>196401The thing to really watch on him is bodyweight. He should be around 170-180kg. His style doesn't work great light
>>196402His back and knees and diabeetus don't work when he's heavy.
>>196402All styles work great light. Weight is a meme.
>>196319Skinny legs, but great calves.
>>196413>t. 55kg girly boyPost asshole
>>196444>Post asshole
>>196413why did enho and ishiura and wakatakakage and saltman and all who came before not bake ozeki?
>>196456Height is not a meme.
>>196458height and weight go hand in hand
New bike picture
>>196459No they dont.
>>196465If my leg is one inch longer than yours, I have an extra one-inch slice of muscle and fat and bone added to my weight.
>>196459>do they correlate? Yes >do they correlate so strongly that someone taller is necessarily heavier? No
>>196467>Takakeisho: 5' 9" 365 lbs>Yao Ming: 7' 6" 310 lbs
>>196468no shit retard
>>196470Retard, its>enho 5'6 209lbs>hakuho 6'4 335lbs
>>196471the existence of >>196472demonstrates there are people in this thread who need it spelled out for them
>>196470>Takakeisho: 4 Emperor's Cups>Yao Ming: Jobs to sandanme
>>196481Meme cups.
Sumo is a meme.
Memes are sumo.
>>196483>sumo is a meme
>>196484>memes are sumo
>>196383>Kirbyama no longer a factor, this will be his last basho as ozekiIs he going back to his old name?
>>196489he's making it up because Kiri is still injured.
I like it when rikishi change their name but only a written change so that the name sounds exactly the same but is written with different kanji.
Sadly, former yokozuna Terukuni has also died.
>>196544Yeah, 47 years ago.
>>196545I'm sorry, does that make it less sad to you?
>>196549Shintos get reincarnated, he might've already died again by now
>>19654547. he was a fuckin kid
>>196584When will we see the new tsukedashi in Futagoyama-beyas channel?
>>196595They've got a TD coming in too? Didn't know that.
>>196596>Taiki Mita, 22, 173cm, 120kg
>>196597>173cm
>>196597too tall
>>196328Why does he look like he's rotting?
>>196605the insides of the flaps rub against each other and get irritated
>>196605You gotta get him in the fridge quick after he wins
>>196594>15 year old rugby lad>joined sumo on his and his fathers whim>no experience>174cm tall>105kgsounds fucking brutal to suddenly get into
>>196621He will be transformed into a god. You'll see.
>>196621I hope he does well. If it was any other stable it wouldn't be an issue, but it'd be really depressing to see less and less of him in the videos until someone admitted he'd run away back home.
>>196621174cm at 15 years old could easily end up near 190cm eventually. 190 seems to be about the perfect height for a sumotori>>196597>22, 173cmWon't make it past makushita
>>196621>15 year oldHe has plenty of time to grow
173 cm is taller than Toyonoshima and Takekaze.
>>196597He looks tiny for 120kg, is that a typo or are his bones made of tungsten?
>>196645It puts him at almost the same height and weight as Midorifuji, doesn't seem unreasonable to me.
>>196645Probably another university muscle manlet along the lines of Asakoryu. Asakoryu is listed at 178cm 119kg, might make top division someday soon, but he needs to add about 50kg if he wants to be competitive at the very top. All those guys like Ishihura & Kotoeko have the wrong idea, Keisho knows what it takes to compete as a short guyThose arms in the pic in >>196597 look like they could split the seams in that jacket, dude needs a better tailor
Newest Schriszoid video implies that theres sumo civil war going on behing the curtain where petty old men leak info about other stables just to get revenge
https://x.com/BleacherReport/status/1786918104200626383Which heya is this?
>>196674>SokokuraiArashio
>>196676Oh yeah. Didn't see him lurking there. Thank you.
>>196674patethic, pushes off 17yo kid and acts like he won super bowl..
>>196673>petty old men leak info about other stables just to get revengeThis is literally what the tabloids have been doing for the past 70+ years, what the fuck has him convinced this is new
>>196694The fact he has an audience of fart huffers that he can leech off who think he's the only honest voice in an evil xenophobic Japanese sport.
Injured muscle manlet Kiho's shikona reverted to his Kawazoe, his given name. Does that mean he quit?
>>196701Or that he's going to take a -fuji name now that he's Isegahama.
>>196702He tsukedashi'd at Ms15 and rose to Juryo as Kawazoe and then sank to Sd 48 as Kiho, maybe he decided Kiho was a bad luck name
>>196701He went back to Kawazoe because he fell out of the sekitori ranks and will change it back to Kiho when he gets back up. You see this on rare occasions, but it happens.
>>196674>>196690I love how the enword is at an advantage because he doesn't have a mawashi on that he can be thrown from or grabbed by and still boasts.
>>196712do you not understand what butsukarigeiko is
>>196714That's how they start but it definitely doesn't look like what they're doing. You can even see Jun trying to grip a non-existent mawashi out of reflex once the black guy gets a grip on his own.
>>196715if the pusher isn't driving forward in a straight line it's part of the lender's job to guide their elbows inward or to toss them to the side as a signal to restart. The pusher also isn't typically supposed to grab the mawashi of the lender
>>196718I know that, but I don't think the black guy knew that. He's clearly just trying to actually wrestle the guy.
>>196720exactly. The rikishi was trying to keep things in line with a drill, while the black guy thought this was some kind of real match
>>196728or he's just celebrating being able to push a rikishi out of the ringdon't be a mindreader like chris
>>196729>Micah Parsons went 1v1 with a real sumo wrestler
>>196730What?
>>196734that is the caption of the video in the Bleacher Report tweet in >>196674.
>>196735Oh. Sure, but it's not like Parsons said that.
Who's your favorite sumo wrestler? Mine is Quackatagekage
>>196745You can see the fighting spirit in the eyes of Duckerufuji
>>196745>>196746Kinboswan?
Whats the possibility that Hakuho stages a coup and takes over Isegehama next year when the boss reaches retirement age?
>>196748Hakuho does not have enough allies to make such a thing happen
>>196745Goosenoyama.>>196748Zero.Takanohana had half the JSA on his side and failed.
What happened to Salt City Sumo?
>>196754Dehydration.
>Abi-tross
>>196754
>>196749presumably he would have to fight them for it, since he is only recently retired he could probably take them
>>196768Love this one.
>>196766Wow this is great
>>196779I'd pay to watch Hakuho fight a mob of geriatric 60 year olds, but I bet those same 60 year olds would not be thrilled to fight him
When is NHK's Grand Sumo Preview show scheduled to start this basho?
>>196855Thursday.
Chris says that Asanoyama isn't going to make the start of the basho due to knee problems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mby3K1pDj4Y
>>196857https://www.sankei.com/article/20240507-5YF2H72AGRPNNOMHKW3VSY2WAY/Here's where he got that information. Hope this helps!
>>196871You got it backwards, that shimbun sources their info from Chris
>>196735>>196729>>196730>>196690>>196674>>196712>>196715It's okay, Wakamotoharu set the record straight.https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1787563005880017330
>>196894Nice.
>>196889Nah. Asanoyama sources from Chris.
Asanoyama IS Chris.
Chis is the spirit of sumo underneath each rikishi's mawashi
>The spirit of sumo is sweaty, tiny, hairless balls that spout tabloid gossip all day.You learn something new every day.
Fresh Chris! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpM0cJlbqiU&t=310s
Who cares when we've got PRIME TIMEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DS-Svh19b0
>>196951Nothing about cheis is freshsee >>196908 thats not something you can fix with a washing amd some febreeze
>>196952>stable uses muh weight training>zero salaried wrestlersmogged yet again by the superior teppo and shiko training
>>196976something like half of active stables don't have any sekitori
>>196976Based Nakamurachadvc:WK8 W4
>>196976which, in turn, gets demolished by the superior imaginary rikishi training