I know, it will not help me at all, I know. I should just post joke, meme (oh do you know how hard I laughed yesterday about F1 memes?) to don't care, to suppress emotions how I always do. It's wrong be here, but here I'm.I'm pre-all and even don't know when I would get HRT. Shit life. But this all didn't bother me a lot. My plan just ruined and my confidence disappear. It all makes me so sad.I just wanna be woman, without afford, but nobody sees me like this without full transition and stealth. And this is breaking me so much right now. I'm malebrained, i trained to be malebrained, i was born malebrained and this is why I can't even look at myself like on woman. And any woman in my life just prove my maleness. I just wanna feel like woman, like I did before, not like freak man. But for this I need at least move, but I can't even move in my bed and from this I feel only worse. If I'm one of you, why I don't feel so? I have no space to feel it again.This is all too much to ask.I just should joke, make fun and joke, wait until it gone.
