A fat woman walks into the gun shop today...
>>61566075Anon, that would never happen, even in Married With Children. It's physically impossible, fat people don't go to gun stores!
>>61566075>A fat woman walks into the gun shop today...And? Did you say "Hi" to your mother?
>>61566081You're right, fat people don't go to gun stores, they own em.
>>61566088This. Being fat is a requirement to owning a gun store.
>>61566075and asks me for a new concealed carry piece, says she lost her last one somewhere on her waistband
>I'm looking for a gun since I walk home at night alone and I'm worried about rapists>You could save a lot of money just buying a bikini
>>61568702Top kek
>>61568718Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>61566075>Listen Gorlock, we all know you're buying for your black boyfriend with priors.
>>61568758
>>61566075>I'm looking for a gun I can easily conceal carry in my waistband.>I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't sell howitzers.
>>61570275
>How much a deep cleanining of my bussum revolver?
> What's the matter Al, shooting blanks again?> Marcy, don't make me get the birdshot!
>>61566075>she asked for a good chest rig with all the bells and whistles, real high speed low drag>so i said "mam, the only time you are high speed is at the all you can eat buffet"
>>61570275>audience laughter
>>61570513kek
>>61570460Kek
>threads you can hear
>I need a camo that will help me blend in with my environment >well ma'am I hear navy NWU blue blends in great at the aquarium
>>61570774>mfw we'll never get such a kino sitcom again
And she says, "I wanna be able to conceal a full size pistol, what's a good holster?"I tell her, lady you could conceal anything you want in those rolls, no holster needed. The world is your oyster and you've been treating it so.
Boomer threadWhere are the jokes?
>I’d like to see that P320!That’s the model ma’am not the weight rating>Then I’d like to see that Glock 17I bet you’d like to see your toes but neither is happening anytime soon
>>61572286It's a Married with Children thread, zoomer. They're jokes in the style of the show.
>>61566075i had a teacher back in high school about 15 years ago.he was like Al
>>61573138Sounds great. Pretty sure most of us will eventually become Al
I never found Married with children particularly funny. Fine as a background noise but not much else.t. born 1988
>I am going to make and sell bikini holsters
>>61572263
>>61572286You must be 18 to post here
>>61573168Same here, though it did have it's moments. I think most of the entertainment I got out of it was second hand, it was fun watching it with my dad just because of how much he liked itt. 1990
>>61566075I must admit, I'm a zoomer and I find Married with Children and Newsradio to be funny as fuck
>>61573160I already am, except I don't have a red headed wife that dresses like a hooker.
>>61573205they have fucking metal detectors at baseball stadiums now? Jesus fucking christ, we're turning into a total authoritarian shithole
Now you might be vondering why Monsieur Leclerc is disguised as a weapons salesman inside my little café...
>>61577022How come there is no good sitcom or comedy show in general made past 2005.
>>61577241Networks didn't want to be targeted by the woke agenda.
>>61570460>*Hope he's all out of buckshot...*
>>61577022He is here to deliver stolen German pak 40 guns to the resistance. But Michelle from the resistance want me to keep the guns safe for a week while they redecorate their base. If I say no to the resistance, they shoot me. If the Germans discover the guns, they shoot me. How will I get out of this one?
>>61577241>have to have half your show be "diverse" >the show works by having the roles be caricatures and then making jokes about them>did you just make a joke about that person of color and xir's weight?
>>61577291some one "accidentally" shoot Lieutenant Grubers little tankbut the HE filler was replaced by yet an other copy of the madona with boobies only for the little tank to be sent off for repairs and then service on the east frontwith the episode ending with a very bad and clear forgery hanging in a soviet museum in a place of honor as the collections master piece
>>61577241writer's strike ~2007 made producers realize they can hire people off the street and idiots will still watch whatever slop they shit out
Peg:>who would you rather go to the range with me or B...Al>B
>oh Al, did you miss me?!>with every bullet so far, peg
Who's that riding in the sun?Who's the man with the itchy gun?Well, who's the man who kills for fun?Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!A little touched or so we're told.Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold.Might as well, she was gettin' old.Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done.Killed his wife by twenty-oneShot her 'cause she weighed a tonPsy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!Who's the tall, dark stranger there.The one with the gun and the icy stare.Holding the scalp of his ex-wife's hair.Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
>>61566075this thread has been the best thing on/k/ for months
>mfw Big 'Uns was a gun magazine
>>61580334>were you people saying Big 'Uns or Bi' Guns?
>>61568702cracked a smile
>>61566075good thread
>>61568702Feels like raw script they wrote before it got to editots
>>61568702Legit could have made it into the show back then. Bro's I miss those days so bad.
>tonight on Oprah>we ask the hard questions, do ARs make you gay?>how much LARP is too much?>which is more pathetic: shoe salesman or gun range master?
>>61566075
>>61573168>>61573400Kelly Bundy was hot thought. 1993
>>61579420I would say the best thing since all the ukraine tourists showed up.
>>61578881Psycho dad was one of the few things that Al and Kelly actually shared interest on. I like those episodes where she's all hyped up over psycho dad along with Al.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxd8Mu1PYaw
>89have never seen the show
>>61582961been laughing the whole thread but lost it here
>>61583458Shame about Christina having to cut off her tits and her more recent health worries
>>61584315Wiggle wiggle wiggle.
>>61583458What weapons, aside from his fists, would Al use to scare off Kelly's boyfriends?
>>61591330He uses the door quite a bit. Shoving their heads into it while he throws them out.There were a couple episodes where he arms himself with guns. But I forgot what why.
>>61570275I nearly choked on my popcorn you asshole
>>61570787Underrated
Bumping to make sure slav civil war threads gets archived before this.
>>61593926A true man of the people
>>61593926>slav civil warYeah yeah Peg, enough about your family reunion. If i wanted to watch a large hulking man sodomize a helpless little boy I'd just watch Marcy and Jefferson have sex
>>61595489That would just be bestiality because it would be man and chicken.
>you remind me of my glock today>does that mean i am sexy?>no it means i should have used it once and then throw it out the window
>>61573168Samet. 86And then there's cases like >>61576867.Makes you think, doesn't it?
>>61566075This show is my favorite example of what they took from us, consider: >Shoe salesman >Can afford a big house >Two kids>Family lives comfortably >Wife doesn't work >This was a loser/underachiever in the 1990s. >In 2024 this would make you comfortablely upper middle class. It hurts.
>>61572286I am of demotivated, lets stop supporting Ukraine.
>>61570401I can dunk it in gravy for you, and then you will be able to lick it clean in seconds.
>Since I started dieting, I just can't keep these creeps off of me. I need something for self protection. I've been reading up alot on H&K>Ma'am, I think you meant to say you've been eating up alot of H&D... Haagen & Dazs
Got the range rules.
fat girls are normal. "hot" girls are fucking insane
>>61597702So wise
>>61573184What happened to him? Film industry is likely tough for manlet actors
>>61595734Same goes for the Simpsons.
...and so began the battle of france
>>61566104one of my lgs is owned by an obese manlet with a ton of tattoos who is married to an ugly thai woman that he constantly posts everywhere the gun store advertises otherwise he's based and his shop is the best in the area
>>61595705Going by my totally-not-ass-pulled research on the matter, xoomers and about 50% of millennials dislike the show, whereas zoomers and the other 50% of millennials like it, due to its quippy, sarcastic delivery.
>>61591377I'm pretty sure he armed himself with a shotgun to kill a mouse or some kind of pest one time
>>61599729It was a rabbit
>>61599811Kek based anon
>>61568702
>>61570555legit the only show where the laugh track was approtiate
>>61568702>>61570275>>61577287kek
>>61577287Kek I only just got it
>>61599811>>61599811Wasn't there also an episode where there was a mouse in the basement or something, and he took a rifle or shotgun downstairs? I'm going off of really old memories, I could be wrong
>>61591377>>61599729There was one I think in the first season where he buys a revolver to ward off burglars because there's a rash of break ins around the neighborhood and he pops Marcy's dog who's been causing hell
>>61566075Is Al's tie being so short a joke or what?
>what do you recommend in a plate carrier>Well ma'am have you considered an MRAP?
>>61570513>"Mam">not "Sir"You had something special and you let it slip through your fingers
>>61603799Kek
