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Sunburst is tired of being seen as a wimp, so he tries out for the hoofball team.

Does he make the team?
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>>
Bump
>>
Update tonight, maybe maybe?
>>
>>33755591

>Sunburst accidently makes winning score
>gets to suck off whole hoofball team as reward
>>
>>33758659

Bumping.
>>
Anything tomorrow, writefag?

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Anon, what did you with my wings?
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>>
>>33755994
> nitpicking stupid bullshit
> caring about things nobody cares about
> thinking your retarded 4chins memes matter
this is why nobody likes this site. losers can't have cliques, they're losers.
>>
>>33757449
then why are you here?
>>
>>33757471
for the minority who aren't like that, to help the minority grow and push out this toxic culture
> inb4 libtardation
>>
>>33755890
I second this request.

With the drama that this (or some of the others) caused, surely there's at least some good green to come out of it.
>>
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I uh, kinda...cooked them up!
And ate them!

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>>
>>33754772
>tranny analyst
That's a yikes and a cringe
>>
>>33758670
>it's 2019
gtfo
>>
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>>33754772
Are you retarded?
>>
It's unicorn master-race. Don't hate the players, hate their game.
>>
One excuse me sweetie but GLIM GLAM saved the SHOW. The Ronald McDonald OC is irrelevant, not pony and is part of some ayylmao franchise.

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Face it, DWK is the last good content creator in this fandom
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>>
>>33757604
>extra bonuses
>locking of videos
I read it fine, I just don't believe lies.

https://www.patreon.com/DWK
>>
>>33757520
Owen?
>>
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>>33757551
Less said the better
Maybe it's good I'm forgotten
>>
>>33756647
Alumx is a gift from god.
>>
>>33757463
boku no pico

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Welcome to Dadonequus! Where the premise is about a human brought to Equestria by Discord himself, in order to fulfill an ulterior motive. However, this can be adapted depending on what the writer has in mind!

Enjoy stories more in tune to the show!
We usually refrain from any lewd or edgy themes/tones. So come in and experience some of the greatest stories with some of the most apathetic readers on the board!

Are you a newfag? Below are pastebins of stories currently in the making with a synopsis on each one. See which one suits your interests and give it a read!

Any unactive greens can be found in the archive link with a library of stories.

Please feel free to comment, discuss, and give writers feedback! And don't be afraid to create art or start your own story!

All Stories / Archive:
Archive of stories:(https://pastebin.com/RiguRjdM (embed) (embed) (embed))

Active Writers:

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>>
>>33759264
“That sounds lame! I’ve got a way better idea! What if instead going to that jail, I spend the day exploring the city!”
>Luna let out a small giggle as she rested her head on the table, and played with your mane, “That sounds very similar to what we used to do when we were of your age. I used to avoid my magical lessons to enjoy some time in…”
>Celestia’s white snow coat now was somewhat reddish on the face. She stood up from the table and glared at the two of you, “Luna, stop encouraging him! Resonance, education is one of the most important things in the whole wide world! So you are going to the “Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns” and that’s it!!”
“Yeah, but we’ve got an entire library here, and there’s another one in the city that’s frickin’ huge! Why I can’t ditch the jail, and go to those places instead?”
>Luna stood up from the table, and stretched her limbs, “Humor aside, I do agree with Celie, my dearest Resonance. Proper education is very important in the life of anypony, and you are not an exception.”
“I know! That still doesn’t change the fact I can just use those two huge libraries instead of being sent to jail! Besides, I don’t know anyone there.”
>Luna gently caressed your mane and smiled, “I know that this change must be harsh, but Celie’s school is the best center of education that Equestria has to offer, and if I recall correctly, the young Cherrywood is a student there. So you have no excuses in that regard.”
>>
>>33759267
“Now this is getting plain weird, man. Celestia there said her school is named something-something for unicorns. Now, I may hate that frickin’ filly, but I know she’s no unicorn. So either that school has the most misleading title I’ve heard in a while, or there was something funny in Luna’s coffee.”
>Celestia elegantly extended her wings and hovered above the table. Then, she proudly gestured to herself, “Well, Resonance; while I’m not so sure about the coffee, what you noticed is masterful business move! You see, my dear son; I forego a centuries old tradition and opened up my school to all kinds of ponies in Equestria. Now it’s more profitable than ever before!”
“Can’t argue against that logic. Bits are bits, y’know?”
>Luna leaned her head forward and looked at her sister with suspicion, “Wait a moment, Celie. I believed that the main reason behind the change in admission policies was so everypony, no matter their background or race, could possess a chance to attend to the best center of education in the kingdom.”
“That doesn’t explain one bit why still has that name, though.”
>After giving an arrogant shrug, Celestia landed and gave her sister a smug half-smirk, “What are you talking about, my dear sister? Of course that was the main driving goal behind the new policy! I kept the name because of a little something called “brand-recognition”. Still, there were a bunch of tradionalists who protested against the change, but in all honesty they can… what’s that expression you sometimes use, Resonance?”
“Go a hug a cactus.”
>>
>>33759273
>After giving an arrogant shrug, Celestia landed and gave her sister a smug half-smirk, “What are you talking about, my dear sister? Of course that was the main driving goal behind the new policy! I kept the name because of a little something called “brand-recognition”. Still, there were a bunch of tradionalists who protested against the change, but in all honesty they can… what’s that expression you sometimes use, Resonance?”
“Go a hug a cactus.”
>She nodded satisfied and continued with her explanation, “Yeah, hug a cactus! I’ve to write that one down. Anyway, I also did it because the Jacuzzi I wanted for my room wasn’t going to pay for itself, but that was just a small part of the reason. Almost insignificant, really.”
>Luna rubbed her chin and looked at her sister with complete bafflement, “You say those words, and yet, I am entirely convinced that your motives were the opposite.”
>Celestia’s face became stoic as she pointed down at her, “Luna, you keep talking like that, and I swear for my crown that I won’t buy you that giant tiki when I roll out that reform to admit international students.”
>Like a switch had been flipped, Luna changed her posture from suspicious to one of complete excitement. Heck, even the bags under her eyes disappeared, “N-No need for such a brash course of action, Celie. Tis was nothing but a meaningless ramble from my part! In fact, I want to propose myself as the negotiator with the dragons’ kingdom! I am absolutely certain that I can convince them on the quality of your magnanimous school.”
>>
>>33759274
>With a small nod, and an incredibly smug smirk, Celestia victoriously replied, “Good, because that was the plan.” She then turned to you with a smile, “As for you, Resonance; Moonlight is waiting for you at the entrance hall. Better not keep her waiting… or try to escape, because…”
“Yeah, yeah! Moonlight’s gonna hunt down my flank. No need to tell me that. Already figured out you planned something like that when Luna mentioned her.”
>Feeling incredibly annoyed and frustrated, you jumped out of your seat, and flinched a bit when Celestia levitated a white and blue saddlebag and gently placed it on your back.
>You let out a sigh and moved your body a little to get used to the weight of the saddlebag. Then, you begrudgingly made your way out of the diner.
>When you placed your hoof on the doorknob, you heard Celestia saying with a somewhat stoic tone, “Hold on, Resonance. There’s one more thing left to do before you leave.”
“What? I did take a bath this…”
>Before you could finish that sentence Luna and Celestia held you in a warm, tight hug. One that melted away all of your frustrations, leaving only an incredible feeling that’s just impossible to put into words.
>As you almost desperately snuggled, or at least really tried to, into both of them, Celestia kissed your forehead and whispered, “Have a fantastic first day in school, my Resonance. I packed all your things and a lunch made with all the love in the world.”
>Luna nuzzled her muzzle on your mane and replied, “Oh, my dearest Resonance! Never forget that we will always be cheering for you. Have fun and do not skimp on any detail when you are back home. Oh, and I placed a few bits just in case they are needed.”
>You quickly wiped off the couple of tears that had formed on the corner of your eyes, and energetically put your goggles on.
“It’s really hard to be mad at you ladies, you know that? I can’t promise much, but I’ll try. At least I can do that.”
>… …
>…
>>
>>33759276
Hope you guys enjoyed this. I'll post the rest of the chapter around sunday, so stay tunned!

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>These are the kind of ponies you want to have hateful angry aggressive sex with. With lots of punching and bruises and mother insults and cum
>These are the kind of ponies you want to marry and have many foals with
>Clone stuff
>Evil stuff

Writer:
YukkuriPalehorse:
https://pastebin.com/hsBEW8br (embed) (Done)
https://pastebin.com/DhqQMXhR (embed) (Done)
https://pastebin.com/UEa0bqD0 (embed) (Progress)
https://pastebin.com/wWSg7d0P (embed) (Done)
https://pastebin.com/CRXp18Hn (embed)
Sea Urchin
https://pastebin.com/zrEjr8UN(Done) (embed)


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>>
>>33755915
At least he wasn't lying to himself about enjoying it and didn't go all "ew that's so wrong" while rutting Greedity after the first time. He knew that shit wasn't morally justified, he's a lonely virgin fantasizing about mares all around him on a daily basis and he is at least self-aware about it.
>>
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MEAN
ASS
>>
>>33757923
Horrible thought: this Anon eventually gets the courage to go to Real!Purplesmart about the problem. She says "I can fix this!" and gathers her friends together, either with the Elements or with whatever that hoodoo was that they did to Samba.

And instead of killing the stick ponies, or making them normal... it merges them and their memories with their original versions. The Mane 6 now know everything that happened--and have the memories now from the perspective of the Mean 6. How fucked is Anon now? They're going to send him to the moon, and he's going to be saying "but I just wanted to help" all the way until they stuff him into Celestia's giant Moon Cannon.
>>
>>33759117
That scurry face she's making says "no," but that lifted tail says "yes."
>>
>>33759135
>>33759117
>"Anawn, y'all best not follow me out through these woods to mah secret lakeside relaxation spot, y'hear? If'n I so much as sense yer walkin near me I'll kick yer shins backward. So keep yer hand off mah withers 'n stay where y'are. Celestia knows I hate whilin' away time with ya by mah side."

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I don't particularly like Starlight, but isn't it kinda important that we learn how she gained her cutie mark? Given one of the best episodes in Season 1 revolved around how the mane 6 got their cutie marks. I hate to make the comparison that Starlight is a main character, though I feel her OPness might have slightly more ground if we learnt why her talent is magic.
Same could apply for Sunset though given she's rarely a pony I kinda doubt there's reason to know or care.
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>>
>>33754468
Go the fuck back
>>
>>33757236
*clap clap*
NEXT MEME
>>
That boat pretty much sailed with the parent map, they're never going to dedicate time to the exposition she deserves.
>>
I too cannot wait for more starlight backstory, as it seems to get worse each time they try.
>>
>>33759233
They have never done so

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You've done it anon, you made it to Equestria! But there is a catch.
You have to take the place of an already existing inhabitant, basically your mind has been put in their body and they've been completely removed from the world, and as chance would have it the character you end up replacing is your waifu.

How do you handle this situation (after you've jerked off for several hours since we all know that would be most anons first instinct)?
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>>
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>>33758568
groovy
>>
>>33758837
Assuming that she's even willing to listen, believes it and doesn't decide later that she wants her sister more than she cares about an innocent getting caught in the crossfire.
If I had to do a tactical withdrawal, where would I go?
>>
>>33758874
Across an ocean seems like a good bet. Then hijack Spike's fax machine and start sending her letters explaining what happened and that you're perfectly fine with vacating the premises as long as she can provide or create a body for you to inhabit.
>>
>>33758830
How exactly is the post office, a government job, dead end exactly?
>>
>>33758736
You are the big gay.

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Royal Guard Mare Thread
Canon Edition

This thread is all about Equestria's mares in uniform. Whether they're a fighting troop, a backwater garrison, or simply the ponice, and whether they're pegasi, unicorn, earth, or other female, they're all welcome as primary subject matter for art & green.

>Ongoing
Everyday Life With Guardsmares - https://pastebin.com/RHkvDaAw
Everyday Life With Guardsmares FAQ - https://pastebin.com/QH8Mwutm
Careful's Charge - http://pastebin.com/CkZbn3E6
Brave and Vannie - http://pastebin.com/8E2vAnyi

>Complete
Skin and Oki - https://pastebin.com/zsYqrMin

>ded

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>>
>>33755335
Gold and red go together well. They’re basically saturated versions of earth tones. You could even mix in a dark brown for the leather straps holding the armour together and it would still work.
>>
>>33755826
Bad in what way though?
>>
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>>
>No overprotective guard-hen to keep my "nest" safe from invaders
>>
>>33746005
>>33745300
>¡Ándale, ándale, hermanos míos, debemos cobrar!"
I had the nearly the same picture in my head when that line too. I was thinking Rocinante was going to demand bits from both Sparkshower and Glamerspear for visiting the Eclipse.

903: Uprooted
Written by Nicole Dubuc
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x75s7ew
https://mega.nz/#!ajpCFKhS!AZx95rpUhgrti_zEvb4ATskaKs5_7kUru47BR38OGTw

Best Gift Ever: The Special
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6wabaf
https://mega.nz/#!17Q02YJZ!C_ywCfQ9Tst8jSVswqCyPz030Z-XQpFO6MhkWYpk248
YouTube Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNXV9Mb7egjF3LS1ZJYqDdI6JNzFM3o7o

>>33752178
Previous thread.
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>>
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>>33759725
>homeopathic Rarity
>>
>I'm so homeopaa-hathic...! *cries*
>>
>>33759721
That’s an actual biological fact
>>
Move
>>33759739
>>33759739
>>33759739

Best pone
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>>
>>33757623
yeah, if you do get this one I'll give some things they dont show you
The face is pretty much copy pasted either side so she has 2 tongues and the eyes arent derped. Also the legs arent flexible but it can stand on its own
>>
>>33757614
I need one.
>>
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>>33758479
Derploaf best loaf
>>
>>33756884
such a cutie

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The theory that Grogar created Discord out of a pony and bunch of different animals make sense. If the show will still follow the line of Beauty and Beast story arc, Discord's last appearance should turn him into a pony and imply a relationship with Fluttershy.
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>>
>>33752916
>>33752955
Are you the same guy that kept pushing the "Discord is Star Swirl" theory that somehow got popular back in they day? Are you trying to relive your glory days of duping dumb dimwits?
>>33754318
Based Jim already debunked this.
>>
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>>33752916
>>
>>33759113
Discord is Starswirl was always a stupid idea. but Grogar makes sense. There are no more creatures of Discord race, and he was a creature that terrorized Equestria as much as Manticores and Chimeras.
>>
>>33759147
It makes no sense if you take more than two seconds to think about it.
They never said Grogar created ALL monsters.
Discord isn't like any other monsters we've seen. He even lives in his own dimension and can use magic.
Discord is powerful and intelligent which makes him a potential rival of Grogar's. It would make no sense for Grogar to create something that could usurp him.

It's a dumb theory.
>>
>>33759166
maybe Grogar found some chaos stone with huge magic and used it with animals and a pony to create Discord. Maybe his missing bell is something that give Discord his powers.

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Last thread:
https://www.anonpone.com/royal/33509620

New player or catching up?
https://pastebin.com/ydgmvJc4

Current economy and trade with predicted harvests:
https://pastebin.com/DGxd1AgJ

List of ponies you know or heard of (Slightly outdated):
https://pastebin.com/TRrkVHT5

>It’s about seven at night
>While you could continue to get more information tonight from Nymphadora or the other prisoner, you’re not sure if you want to spend the rest of your free time on the issue before your ‘treat’ later tonight
>You’re not that far from the dungeon entrance, you can go back and knock again for entry if you wanted to

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>>
>Ooh, you're so nervous!
>This will be the first time you're meeting Bloody's parents, let alone an actual ruler of another nation as queen!
>But first, you must get ready
>You clean yourself and
>You go through your clothing, but most of them aren't suitable to wear in late pregnancy, and your commissioned sweater dress isn't done yet (Nor did you expect it to be, she did say a few days to be ready for hearths warming)
>You throw on a traditional royal dress (You have multiples, this one with extra fabric altered around the stomach for this purpose) and head out the door of your room, accompanied by both your guards and the doctor
>You head to the war room, and see a few generals standing around the map table, discussing something and pointing to the southwestern border a few times
>Since they were all facing away from the entrance or looking only at the map, they haven't noticed your arrival yet
>What will you do?

>Eavesdrop
>Squeeze yourself into the circle
>Announce yourself
>Ask for updates on Ft Minx
>Ask if anything unusual has occurred

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>>
>>33758205
Announce ourself.
>>
>>33758205
>Announce yourself
Then ask them for an update on ft minx.
>>
>>33758205
>Announce yourself
>Ask for updates on Ft Minx
>Ask if anything unusual has occurred
>>
bedtime bump

Concerned Princess Edition.
In these threads, we fantasize about an utopian Equestria where sex is not a taboo and is considered completely natural.
An Equestria, where it is not uncommon for stallions to try to mount mares or for mares to present themselves to passing stallions (or human males) in public places if they should happen to get the urge.
Mares casually conversing with their friends or going about their own business, paying little or no attention to the stallion eagerly rutting them, would be a common sight.

Some suggested guidelines for the setting:
- If a mare for whatever reason does not want it, they will just push the stallion out and gently nudge him off and he will try to find another mare instead
- If a stallion (or human) masturbates in public without first trying to mount any mares around, they would consider it an insult to their attractiveness

These are merely suggestions, and the exact details are of course entirely up to headcanon.

Story Archive: https://pastebin.com/23yPRUKv
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>>
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Does prostitution still exist in a land where everyone is willing to relieve each other sexually?
>>
>>33757805
Maybe prostitutes are who you hire to help you improve your technique? They're more like personal trainers with an emphasis on sex
>>
>>33757805
I could see it as a legitimate part of a massage parlor.
>>
>>33757805
I always canoned that prostitutes are all specialists. Like they have a cutie mark in fucking so that's what they're allowed to do and they get state funding. Those are the ponies who are mind blowingly good at sex and train hard to be the best, sorta like a olympic athelete of fucking.

And some ponies do it on the side and offer something really weird that average ponies will refuse like loving cuddles or pillow talk and flirting.

As a typical career choice for the downtrodden, it wouldn't exist. Ponies are too charitable and sex is devalued, so there'd be no sex trafficking or shady prostitution rings.
>>
>>33757805
Of course anon. Somebody has to relieve ugly ass fat neckbeard autistic losers that the average mare won't touch, even if it makes them seem impolite.

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Anon has finally been brought to justice. Justice means no dessert and going to bed early.

Previous Thread: >>33588374

Pastebins:
http://pastebin.com/u/Aftercase
http://pastebin.com/u/A-nonMoose
http://pastebin.com/u/Bluebirdd065
http://pastebin.com/u/Davyjones635
http://pastebin.com/u/dungeoncrawler
http://pastebin.com/u/EyeCancer
http://pastebin.com/u/Iron_Tarkington
http://pastebin.com/u/jubileewritefag
http://pastebin.com/u/Juggy
http://pastebin.com/u/MindWave

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>>
Uh oh, somebody keeps leaving the toilet seat up in the prison bathrooms.
>>
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>>33754897
>>
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Supervillian isn't a strong enough word for this
>>
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