being miserable is a totally subjective thing.a prisoner in jail, or a person without arms, or a refugee from gaza does not consider me miserable.watch videos from ukraine and gaza, and you will understand that the abyss is something deep and that none of us here are close to reaching it.the abyss is only reserved for the souls that are going to end up in judas' personal circles.I have seen videos of animal slaughterhouses.you are a poor motherfucker who thinks my life is shit.look up videos of animal slaughterhouses and pay attention to the animal's eye.you will never live that.I've only seen that shit on soldiers dying in ukraine.never say, never, not even if it is a mockery.ever say again that someone here is a failure or lives in hell.you have no fucking idea what the abyss is.if you saw only the top of the abyss, you would be traumatized.you think i'm being a jesus freak.but it's because i've seen, even if it's just a fucking perception.of what exists beyond alicia's door.never, ever.make a joke about the abyss.Nobody here is anywhere near that shit.You're just a kid talking shit.I've only seen testimonies of the abyss.And it's a place you don't want to see.your life isn't shit, you're not a failure.it's all in your mind.you are nowhere near the abyss.
>>37750253True. Incomparison the majority won't see the real shit of this realm.I think it all has to do with karma and what we did in past lifes. That maybe one of the reasons why the minority are living in the actual abyss like you say
>>37750253I'm not depressed, i'm bored. I wouldn't wish any of those things you said on my worst enemies. Grass is always greener on the other side, and it's almost always too late when you realize all you had to be happy was there from the beginning.I'm a loser but a lucky one, i doesn't have to worry about food, housing and security.Get help if you have ptsd.
When people stare into my eyes they see the abyss. Stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back. Its because I have experienced true fear of another human being for 4 years from the age of 11 to around 15. It was the most horrible thing ever. It's a miracle I havent killed myself yet. Everyday to wake up and think "oh yeah I'm gonna get beaten again" I understand what you mean. People have 0 clue what it means to see what I see, so what do they do because they dont understand me? They hate me. They hate me because they weren't beaten to fear at the age of 11 while being unarmed.
>>37750463>same anonScared of being humiliated, complete fear that you have already ruined your life before turning 18. Realizing that neither of your parents are competent enough to do anything regarding your future. Realizing that they are also extremely abusive, and the only way to defend yourself is to make them submit to you. It all seems like one big joke... If I actually picked this reincarnation then I am a masochist.
>>37750253Trauma and its consequences on human psyche are something that cannot be waved away with "greater" suffering of others or with the "all in your head" platitude. Of course it is in your mind, you need to heal and move on from the wounds of the past. You cannot fathom the ways this world fucks people over, just because you are not a cow in a slaughterhouse or a soldier dying of horrible wounds does not mean that your suffering isn't real. But it's true though that you should now wallow in self-pity and just give up because you are going through things. And now how to stop being depressed...yeah, I'll get right on that.
>>37750253>I have seen videos of animal slaughterhouses.you are a poor motherfucker who thinks my life is shit.Me too and that's why I'm vegan
>>37750253Cris are you here as well?
>>37750253I'm not a worthless depressed loser? Duh. That's precisely because I choose to limit my participation in society as much as possible.
>>37751403this site is my home.
>>37750495>If I actually picked this reincarnation then I am a masochist.Never let self-proclaimed "experts" yell you such nonsense. We live in a prison planet. Your soul is trapped here.
>>37750302Gee it sure would be nice to have memories of my past life so I'd at least have a reference point for which decisions to make in this life. Sounds like a cruel joke otherwise.
>>37751430Is called your birth astrological chart.
>>37751452Your natal chart* doesn't prove past lives. All we have are human interpretations of astrological placements, not definitive proof.
>>37751452i chek'd ur chart and it says ur mom is a bitch
>>37751640anon question was that he wanted to know his purpose of this life.
>>37751430so do past life regression or seek out a psychic
>>37751665The purpose is to squeeze as much emotional energy out of you as possible. Some astrological aspects literally damn you to a specific fate. Lilith in Libra in 3rd house? You WILL be abused in childhood. Saturn conjunct the Nessus asteroid? Have fun getting shanked and/or poisoned in your travels. Don't worry though, you deserved it because of a past life you'll never know. It definitely doesn't degrade the soul, only evolves it, yadda yadda.
>>37751732It's a learning experience. We're all here for the ride!
>>37751737Yeah my childhood friend who grew up in an abusive foster home learned so much from getting raped every week then tortured before her early exist thanks to a rare form of cancer. Obviously she deserved it from some past life karma. She should have been smiling the whole time, realizing the lessons she was supposed to be learning on her divine path! What a dummy!
>ERM YOU HAVEN'T SUFFERED LIKE PEOPLE IN GAZA SUFERED HMMMMMMWould you shut the fuck up with this reddit-tier argument? No shit I don't live in a warzone. But my life hasn't been all smiles or sunshine either, nor do my problems go away just by conceding the utterly retarded nonargument that someone someplace else is HECKIN LITERALLY GETTING KILLED. I only know my own experience, that's all me and or anyone else with their own experience has to go off of. And so I've only got what boons or hindrances my life has dealt to me. Does saying "HRMM I'm not being currently shelled by artillery" make my sisters any less dead? Does it remove the memory of watching them die from my psyche? Does it remove the saddening reality of watching my living loved ones age and drift away from me and one another? Does that remove the dawning realization that despite all these things, these ARE the good old days and sometime soon I will look back fondly on them? No?Then shut the fuck up. I've got the fire in me and I'm doing what I can, in my limited capacity, to keep it alive in the people around me. So forgive me if I'm wasting time not walking around constantly reminding people with faggy cat avatarposting that "ERM, Life could always be worse, you could be DEAD instead!"
>>37751452Idolatry
This thread became group therapy where we can all share our little spookies. My turn. Violently and physically abused by my elementary and high school classmates from start till graduating (so for me that's 18 years if you include kindergarten. All the way through since I was like 8 YO?, until I started treating my mom like a piece of garbage so she would be scared of me, she would do the most twisted, psychopathic bullshit drama games on me week by week. My dad is a worthless simp cuck who has to ask my mom if he can do something. He is also an abuser AND an emotionally unavailable deadbeat so not only is he an anchor, but he is a completely worthless anchor to me. I got beat up by one of the kids in elementary so badly I was scared to stand up infront of him. Literal phobia fear shit. You ever see the extreme cases of hydrophobia of rabies victims? The same type of feeling where my body absolutely cannot do anything. Paralyzing fear. He was a dark Triad psychopath (this was at the age of 12). I was also a complete shut in loser who literally never went outside except for school. Parents never gave a fuck because they're emotionally unavailable retards. I'm gonna reach the 2k limit arent I. Highschool was the same joke where I made one mistake that made sure everybody was afraid of me and it completely killed the whole 4 years of anything good coming out. All because a female thought I verbally harassed her (which I didnt), she was on one side of the gym area and I was on the other end. But nobody cared so everyone instantly cemented me as a predator rapist. Parents are too worthless to defend me. Full on depression whole 4 years. School shooting happens in some other country and they all panick thinking I will be the next shooter. Still a shut in loser. Anyways back to my parents. My mom would constantly degrade me, berate me about how worthless I am as a son. One time she did something that made me repulse her forever. which is when I saw her spit in contd.
>>37750253Well, I did 10g dried shrooms, was convinced I was dying and then fell into a hell cycle of infinite suffering and death. So, yeahh..kinda..saw the abyss there.Don't recommend it. "Infinite suffering" are just words for people who havn't felt their spirit put through a blender and shit out into oblivion. More words. Really, words don't describe the horror of death and never will.But uh, in other news, I realized I am reliving the exact same life with possibly small differences, again and again, on a loop, and ...that is terrifying. I am sad now.
>>37752139Contd Spit in my father's coffee jug. Then, her being the piece of shit psycho that she is, instantly ran to gaslight me about it. Even though I just briefly saw her. This was a week by week occurence where she would just DUMP herself out on me. With zero regard to any sort of logic or reasoning or considering that I might completely despise her for doing this shit. I told her to her face that I would celebrate her and my dad's passing. Starting unnecessary yelling and drama over worthless petty reasons just to explode out on me. Her mother was an even bigger whore who always shat on me. Cousins got gaslighted by my mother to resent me (the crazy amount of shit she would tell them all the time about me... then she flips the script and says how she doesbt like them anymore). This was while I was taking beatings in a school that was riddled with violent losers, and all the women were body racking whores (in elementary btw lol). I can go on and on. I think people see it in my eyes when they stare at me. They just stare a bit and think "-this dude has the craziest eyes ever holy fuck". Had zero luck with relationships as my genetics are complete garbage as I was born premature with a mother who was suppose to have a miscarriage (she barely ate any food and was low on iron). So ontop of that I always lacked the physicality that a man is suppose to have at a young age, but I'm working on it. Atleast my height is average. Every women I would hit on would be taken. Every whore that wants me I wish would never even talk to me. Cant win at all. Atleast I was wise enough to never get into college. A complete waste of time, money and energy for the ability to just barely be able to work a 9-5 down the line. And even if I finished college... every skilled job pays minimum wage. What a sick fucking joke. Sometimes when you look at things from a wider lense you realize there is either no God or there is something we are not understanding here. You're telling me contd
>>37752205That a caring god allows this crap? When apparently he was around when people fucked goats 2k years ago. I think I'm still missing a couple things. Oh yeah the fact that I'm a late bloomer which means no matter what my age is I will always be a complete alien to my age group
>>37750253You are right
>>37750253True, but untrue, you can assume that of the majority but not of everyone. Just because someone lives in a first-world country and has access to computer doesn't mean they haven't been pushed to the limit of human suffering before. Seeing a child or loved one mutilated next to you in a car wreck, still alive and gurgling... you yourself, you see your lower body is mangled, partially severed, groin ripped away. You live on paralyzed or with permanent painful nerve damage, or both... at a certain point the mind hits that threshold where it can't be any worse. Your brain can't process more horror than it is. Shit still goes down here, usually from negligence or by accident but it still does more prevalently than one might think.
>>37750253i'm not depressed just bored, this niggerfaggot reality has bored me to the point of no return. its a fucking piece of shit and i can't wait to get off this ride
“Shedim stands for gods and idols that the peoples of israel turned to when they turned away from god, shedim comes from the hebrew root word shud, which shud means to act violently, to lay waste to, to devastate, bring destruction.A shedim in greek is translated to daimonion or demon in modern vernacular, in the spetuagent the translation appears in Deuteronomy 32:17: “they sacrificed to daimoniois, not to god, but to gods they did not know, to new gods, new gods that had come to them.”Shedim again in psalm 106:36-37They served their idols, which became a trap for them. They even sacrificed their sons and daughters to daimoniois.”
>>37751691Delusional. Need hard evidence.
OP is a 35 years old NEET who has never worked or done anything meaningful in his life other than leeching off his mom's pension and failing miserably as a gamedev for 20+ years
>>37753296Imagine feeling so empty that you feel the need to impress others with material achievements (which by the way, usually requires failure over long time spans - 35 years old? H's still so young!).
>>37750253Well, one must say, you are trying to threaten meHave I seen the abyss? I took a taste, by force, you are the one who makes it. You can't say anything of ur own abyss, only true men make a chance into the abyss to even say things a bit bad, you sit there with a picture of a cat, hiding behind it's cuteness, but eating a cat is not a abyss since I have to give up my own flesh to feed this cat.Tomorrow I'm going to flay a fish, should I suddenly not feel like a loser and not be depressed about things as are? No, I still will be, a good meal is a good meal, and I'd take if it a cat tasted good along with I was hungry. Food is food. A good meal is a good meal, and a schizo needs a good meal. God has told me it has no soul, so therefore, why should I care about it's pain? Blood runs down the streets, stop acting like you own the abyss, remove ur jealousy chronozhon, you haven't even made it 5 layers deep. Ur just too empathetic and need to know what a good meal is cause I must need a good society to have one.
Anyways, you ready for a war anon, no one cares about ur whining, and hell awaits, ur welcome to do whatever you want with that animal, not eating it is great, but I'm sure ur lucky, pampered, and would not care about how deep truly the abyss of man is so you go to a cat, be lucky you aren't ate, my stomach is an abyss and it's getting tired of a lot of "traditional" shit though the other things never give me new pallette, it drives me insane
Ur welcome to send me deeper, but I grind my corpse against the gears, don't expect others to not follow my grinding, this is history, a dialectic
>>37750253>Other people have it bad that’s why your life isn’t hurr durrAside from being retarded that’s not even helpful. Do you know how little I think of people who say that?>Hey man I got this problemDon’t worry man at least it’s not THIS problemAs if anything was solved saying that dumb shit.As if ignoring a weed because it’s only one doesn’t lead to more weeds. OP is fucking gay.
>>37752021>I don't live in a warzonestopped reading there
Suffering is far worse when you yourself are the one holding the whip. When the ugly and evil come from some other, that being a person, organization, government, etc, you have the clemency held by all victims that you are blameless and innocent of the wrongs done onto you. If it comes mostly from yourself then and only then will you come to understand hell. Hell sprung up from your faults and the terror of knowing that you could have prevented this, all of it, but you didn't and now you've wandered far far off the path, now in the thick dark woods where you're desperate for help, but you know nobody is coming to save you nor do you deserve saving. Everyday becomes a sin. You'll feel the strain to die and leave this world as a cautionary tale. You're no longer pricked, but shanked by your conscience and can only stave off hits by indulding in hedonistic numbing garbage or by trying your attempt #4332 to become good.Sorry anons for not caring deeply for those who have wronged you, but I don't think im wrong about the abyss.
>>37754226You're right we live in hell, a lot of """""""""""""""innocent"""""""""""""" people need to die before this becomes heaven
>>37754226Alright, what do you suggest then? Like, you’re not wrong about what you’re saying per se, but you’re just as worthless as the person who doesn’t think about this type of shit at all.What are your intentions exactly?
>>37754313He perobably has an escape plan, unlike the normies.
>>37754340I’m waiting for his reply because I assume the worst but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
>>37750253>a prisoner in jail, or a person without arms, or a refugee from gaza does not consider me miserable.Ridiculous thing to say. Being miserable has to do with state of mind rather than what happens to you. In the slaughterhouse, none of the people are traumatized and the animals die quickly. A lot of people would pick that fate over their lives. The most disturbing thing is actually what you do, to stare at videos of it and contemplate how horrible you think it is.
>>37754226That's the beauty of Christ. He forgives all. Heaven is full of past sinners of the most deviant variety.You aren't the self that did that shitty thing 10 years ago, so why let it get you down? All that matters is the present moment. You are better than that now and have probably learned deep lessons that can now be used to help others in need.
>>37750253>you're not a loserand /x/ took that personally
>>37754313My intentions? I saw a thread which advocated the view that hell is something that others inflict onto you and felt compelled to give an alternative. Hell is making your bed with sin,its consenting and succombing to your lower impulses. Of course your consent is contrived. You can be emotionally twisted, tricked, lied to, etc, but I found that as long as its convieable that you "could" have chosen differently then deception is fair game. Sometimes, the depravity of your own actions can even amuse you and you'll get a kick out of it while despising yourself, but I'm talking too much.I'm saying that you are the abyss and let me clarify that Im not talking about some reddit tier Bojack Horseman where you're a self loathing piece of shit, but you were "once" respectable. Those people have some self worth left even if its a relic, nope the abyss is reserved for those at the bottom and try not and read that as NEETs since its more complicated then that, but they do make up a decent some at least I would presume if they had any shame left.
>>37754478They just need to allow Christ into their hearts.
>>37750253>You're not a loser, stop being depressed.ok lets break this down>youre not a loserwell I became shut-in at age of 9, stopped going school at 16 because of this. I've been told by multiple women and girls "get a life", whatever the fuck that means>stop being depressedAfter decades of depression and anxiety, I yesterday decided to do some mantra listening. I recorded myself repeating a mantra, listened to it.. try to fall asleep while listening to it (but failed). I ended up suffering from sleep deprivation, having been up many hours, but still for some reason despite this, I could operate my creativity just fine, and was playing with some music. Then, when the time comes to go to morning class, BAM, energy levels drop all time low. I become confused, is this really my anxiety kicking in? Or are demons attacking me through auras of other people? It doesn't help I caught some illness yesterday, but I don't believe in (((coincidences))), I'm both loser and depressed, and everytime I try do something about it, either demiurge itself kicks back (manifesting LoA for me, just to taunt me), or things just go wrong in some way.My questions are.. how much do I want to get better? Is it even worth it, will normies respect me even if I was treated of traumas? I don't share any hobbies or interests with them. All I'd really want is wife and kids, cause I hate the loneliness, but at the same time, I don't like people without ideals, and I've come to notice how hypocrite and without values most normies (especially women) are.
>>37750253Nice blogpost, loser.
>>37750253You make too many assumptions and have no idea what any of the people have truly been through. You can't accurately make that assessment. Empathy and love are extremely important.
>>37754478Anon, I just wanted to say I know exactly what you mean.
>>37754313Let me reitterate that I am not saying that being tortured by others is good. I have to also state that this hell is reserved for people who still have their soul intact. I am aware that there are people who are feel nothing when being immoral because they are closer to animals then men. I don't know what punishment awaits them nor do I frankly concern myself with it. This abyss is reserved for humans.And you'll find that the abyss that awaits idiots like myself who went down it isn't just some sort of mental abstraction. Some chastisement prattled out by the brain when it wants to kick you. If you were like myself then you'll your own body will begin to turn on you. I had constant nerve pain, my body started to reject food regularily which made me quite feeble, and I couldn't sleep without my heart feeling like it was going to leap out of my chest when I woke up. This stress burns away at you, I looked far older than my years which only made the situation bleed out faster.Meditation helps, I know somebody has mentioned Christ. I'm afraid to read him you know. He's too beautiful a man, but I somtimes fear him. Must be whatever disgusting lower dimensional entity attached to me that is trying to run and hide I imagine
>>37754478Your heart is in the right place but you’re going about it the wrong way. The post you just made is 100% correct but the whole chain of posts comes off as specious for people who aren’t familiar with Christ and open to rejection because of what this anon said. >>37754509You’re making too many assumptions and it seems less about helping people and more about your ego when you challenge anons in the way you are. Be specific when speaking in generalities. If you respect their discernment they have a better chance at finding light, nobody takes salvation at face value and no one can provide it for anyone else.TLDR; it’s less what you’re saying and more how you’re saying it.
>>37754622Sorry for coming off as a dickhead but you are good at provoking a response. Stay blessed anon.
>>37754666Oi begone Satan! Worst trips in my life kek
>>37750253>watch videos from ukraine and gaza, and you will understand that the abyss is something deep and that none of us here are close to reaching itIncorrect. I am here.No need to watch videos...In fact... Maybe you should shut the fuck up suggestion people watch War Videos.
>>37754830>suggestionsuggesting*
>>37753536you'll be my good meal someday mortal...
>>37750253You don't know nothing about my lifeYou still have yet to learn about life
>>37754154Don't care didn't ask
>>37750253yeah at least im not getting fucked up the ass
>>37750253I would like to give this baby pats on his little head.
>>37750253thanks?
>>37750253Thanks bro I know
>>37750389This. I realized back in 2009 or so that western culture as a whole is spiritually dead and consumerism runs everything. It fely like my eyes got opened up like that scene in They Live where the protagonist starts seeing all the propaganda. I started noticing advertisements FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Like we are exposed to thousands upon thousands of ads, literally tens of thousands, subliminally programming us towards brand recognition and telling us to consume.I got really schizo because this all hit me really fast, I grabbed a pocket knife and started scraping the brand logo off everything in my house. Used a seam ripper to unstitch brand names from all my clothing, basically stayed up all night de-programming my household. Then I started seeing it on TV, in media, websites, fucking sports has more ad billboards than players on a team.I became a recluse for like 4 years getting worse and worse and getting super schizo realizing we are just cattle who exist to funnel money to whatever entity advertises best to us. I barely ate, was checking my water for flouride (thankfully I am on well water so its safe) and hid from the world for years.Eventually I learned to be part of society again, but everything is boring and fake and nobody else seems to notice or care. There are WAY worse conditions to be in, ours is just exceptionally boring and "safe" and soulless. Neutrality. I witnessed some true suffering (of others, not myself) back in 2015 and have been thankful for my life ever since. Tldr of that is I travelled to China, not the touristy spots but the actual places like sweat shops and disease ridden starving families with no water or heating or blind homeless children with no hands (the mob there disfigures children because disfigured children get more charity from strangers)Im rambling now but, point is we have it pretty good, too good in fact
Cris is basically nu-4chan's own Lain at this point and that pisses me off.
>>37750253Powerful shit. Thanks anon.
>>37750253Twin studies show that happiness is genetic. Trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller.And everything that determines quality of life objectively (looks, IQ, conscientiousness, personality) is genetic. We are unhappy because that is our destiny. There is no free will.You can't even self improve, only self select.
>>37756357I think you were schizo to begin with bro that aint normal
>>37754622nah no it doesnt lol meditation is placebo, only things that really work fuck you up long term cuz turns out you cant jack up the dopamine system like that and expect no consequences
>>37754968OK fren <333
>>37756357I relate to you on seeing all the advertisements and realizing what a garbage world we created. It felt like a surreal moment of clarity where I realized how consumed we are in the bogus world. I was sitting at a light off the freeway looking down a steep slope at all the corporate garbage with nothing but buildings to throw your money at and we're drowning in it. I didn't go and scratch off brands like you but I hope you know you are loved and hopefully doing better now. Take care of yourself my friend.
>>37750253I'm going to get my cat a cute color.
>>37760641Where I live, every single grocery store has the front page of the yellow papers displayed on the doors at eye level. They know fear, uncertainty and doubt create anxiety, and anxiety promotes impulsive behavior. Impulsive behavior promotes impulsive buying, and that's where the stores make their money. The items located next to the registers are upmarked like crazy. It's all fucking connected and I hate that so few people are able to see those connections.
