It's the Napoleon Dynamite fuckup all over again. Does he have a memory?
>>10933831>40 year old virginHoly shit, they are making a figure of literally me.
>>10933831Mind explaining?
>>109338413 more years and that'll be me
>>10933841>>10933849I regret giving up my wizard powers. I would be a LVL 99 wizard by now.Pussy is overrated.
>>10933910Preach brother. If I knew the only time I'd have sex was the four times I did it when I was 20, I'd have opted for wizardom.
>>10933841>>10933849ITT
>>10933926>>10933910Validating. I'm still a wizard and I blow up any relationship that isn't a 100% sure thing on purpose, because I fear that once I know what sex is like, I'll become one of those mindless apes who thinks of nothing else and gets in fights with other men over a hole. Or it'll be really disappointing and not even up to the standard of Japanese rubber pussy but then I get an STD or a bastard child or some shit. We're so close to having robot girlfriends who know exactly what you want to hear and never break character, not gonna fuck my life up now.
>40-year-old virgin dude who is dazed and confusedLiterally me.
>>10933994holy cope
I'm 26 and don't like having sex but damn. Do you guys know the wizard powers are just a meme? You don't actually get them.
>>10934102>you guys know the wizard powers are just a meme? You don't actually get them.- powerless sexhaver
>>10934102>he'll never get his wizard powerslol cope
>>10933994I’m more worried that if I try it once then my hand won’t be satisfying anymore, which is why I’ve avoided onaholes and other toys to date. Having an addictive personality in general is a bitch.>>10934102It’s more a self-deprecating joke at this point. Sure, there’s the off-chance magic and shit IS real and us wizards could hit the jackpot one day, but we’ll all sooner win a literal lottery mega-jackpot before that could hapoen.
>>10933831>movie maniacs isnt exclusively horror anymore>and its all statue shitCursed timeline
>>10934228>take garbage licenses >brand as Movie Maniacs believing it will attract 50yo neckbeards wanting to relive the 2000s
>>10933831A poseable Dude could have been big. The 1/6 one years ago (before Sideshow did theirs) was very popular. Damn it, nobody likes statues Todd!
>>10934228So no Sadako with a suspicious bulge?
>>10934474Excuse you. It's 33-year-old neckbeard actually, thanks.
>>10934228it wasn't exclusively horror the first time around and they were basically always statues back then. same timeline as always.
>>10934226>Sure, there’s the off-chance magic and shit IS realImplying it isn't.We melt earth into wafers and then carve runes into them inlaid with precious metals and gemstones, then speak arcane language at them to communicate across the world instantaneously via crystal displays, translate languages, heal disease and injury, attack our enemies, and animate golems.
>>10934228What's worse, is that they're pretty shitty bargain bin statues. Like, one step up from those ugly licensed Christmas ornaments you can get from the Hallmark store.
>>10934226The power is already within you.
>>10934550>tfw all this time the toys you custom printed/sculpted since age 30 have sentience and emotion crafted into them, willingly choosing to love you unconditionally…but your wizarding skills are not developed enough to hear their heartfelt words nor allow them to move freely before you.
>>10933841>>10933849>>10933994>>10934043we should all lose our virginity to eachother.
>>10934490anon, that's novel accurate
>>10933841Chris Chan?
>>10933994That's just cope. You should be a wizard for yourself and not because of fear. It's truely what separates a Beta Wizard from a Sigma Wizard.
>>10934538It was mostly horror and they original ones werent completely statue shit either. It only got progressively more statue shit in the later series, tho
Why are Movie Maniacs statues but Music Maniacs get regular action figure articulation?
>>10934741 McFarlane likely got the results back on the sales for his first few tries of returning to statues like the McFarlane's Dragons that came out a bit ago and they weren't good. Its plain from how many went on clearance.
>>10934717Movie Maniacs. She is a regular female in terms of anatomy in the movies.
>>10934228It's like a much worse Neca.
>>10934747It was a joke my guy.
>>10934755The original one was a joke that didn't land and they aren't making her to begin with so might be best to just drop the subject.
>>10935070Wow, so did mine.
>>10934226As someone who has had sex multiple times, my hand is still better.
>>10933849Jesus fuck, just end it.
>>10933831I'd have bought this line if it was articulated.
>>10936318NOOOO! THE RIGHTS HOLDERS DON'T LIKE ARTICULATION THEY LIKE STATUTES OF THEMSELVES!
>>10933994Oh niggos, I'm in hermicel father mode at this point. I just find that putting my anima in the trunk and letting my inner child drive shotgun works out better. Pussy is over hyped and expensive, let alone temporaryPlastic is for life
>>10934749It's like a the same Neca.
This is the kind of shit that requires no more than 300 of each figure being made.Sort of like how the Walmart near me has 1 Robocop, but FIVE Ac/Dc figures of the lead singer in a british schoolboy outfit, just sitting there, months and months, not even ONE person part of such a target audience.
>>10934674Okay fine. I volunteer to let you all suck me off. I promise not to come in your mouths [spoiler]unless you swallow.[/spoiler]
>>10934744>>10934741>>10934560>pretty shitty bargain bin statues.The only Hallmark I've seen in person is smaller but in some sense you are right.I'm glad I got mine but I'm also glad I bought it at Macy's since it got me reward points I can use on my airlines, and even though it's technically Toys 'R Us, it got me Macy's reward points I'm planning on using to get a new enamel pan.But I also bought it on sale, IIRC for like $10? A Black Friday day sale. Which include free shipping, something Todd never offers.
>>10941516Neca at least has some semblance out articulation
The old figures look way better than this crap.
>>10933994No hole can help you, except for one in the ground.
>>10934720he is no longer 40 years old or a virgin
>>10949106These look like shitty Hallmark ornament sculpts designed by female boomers.
>>10934744He didn't even bother trying to step the designs up. It's all been so pathetic.
>>10933841I hope you don't look this terrible >https://www.bigbadtoystore.com/Product/VariationDetails/273189?o=1
>>10958749This will be the centerpiece of my collection.
