>>27599632

It says right there that they were made in the year 2104, dumbass.

>>27599641
No you idiot, the 21 is for 9+10=21

OP is a fag part du
OP is still 1 person IP flipping and being a trolling fag
Don't respond to OP
Hide thread
Do your due diligence a repurd

>>27599649
I don't care enough about tards' opinions to have 2 IPs. What you see is what you get. And what you see is my 20 year old tires that are still good to go.

>>27599638
And yet here you are begging for attention!
Here's your (you). You can call me Daddy now.

>>27599632
Drive em for another 2k miles and watch the tread on them explode and take out your fender with it. Ask me how I know (it happened twice)

>>27599632
>cannot discern Bridgestone from BF Goodrich

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>>27599632
I'm currently driving on a set of all-terrains from 2005. Just did 100 mph on them yesterday.

>>27599632
Cool, I drove on 9 year old tires for a few months and after taking them on the highway for the first time I experienced a blowout at 70mph. YMMV.

>>27599698
Can you not read? I just took them on a 1400mi road trip

>>27599784
One axle is Bridgestone the other is BFG. Sue me for forgetting which one was from 04 and which was from 08

>>27599843
>I bought shitty used tires.
Found your problem

Imagine driving so little you haven't worn through 20 year old tires lmao

>>27600084
>Imagine not daily driving your passenger van
You daily drive your passenger van? Sounds like a sad life, I daily my 911and leave my van for road trips

All you cunts deserve a blow out at 80mph.
Tires are the single most important component in any wheeled vehicle.

>>27600156
>I am so jealous of you that I will wish harm to you!

Crabs in a bucket. Instead of improving yourself to be like me you'll make some sad failed attempt to bring me down. Pathetic.

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>>27599632
>So ass blasted that he has to make another thread "proving" he's right
More retarded than all the AI Simpsons posts

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Tire wear is a thing of the past because of the advanced technology we have nowadays. EVs will never need a tire change.

>>27600328
the tire isn’t gonna have sex with you man

>>27600344
Remind me, was it me or was it retards like you having a temper tantrum in the replies for 12 days on the last thread?

(Hint: it was retards like you. Thanks for admitting I'm right.)

>>27599648
Stupid

>>27600377
You know, why do we even bother with tires anyway? It's just more useless crap that consumerism convinced people they need.

>>27600471
kys you attention whore. you're a dumb cunt, nobody cares, hope they all blow out while you're on the highway.

>>27599652
>still good to go
tell me that again next time you drive in the rain

I got tires from 1986 on my tractor that say "made in ussr"

>>27600684
Nice. Speed and safety is part of what I care about when running old tires.
Wheel barrow? slow speed bicycle?
don't care
motorcycle, trailer, car?
care

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>>27599632
>i drove 1400 miles at 48 mph on old tires you just got owned chud!!
skipped the first blog
still dont care
drive like you have some testosterone in your system and those tires will say adios

>>27600693
"Nah bro you don't get it if I want to drive I fire up my bughatti!"
OP probably

This is democrat level denial of reality.

>>27600647
Drove in rain on my trip. 0 issues.

>>27600608
Nice temper tantrum, it's very on-brand for someone of your stupidity

>>27600693
80mph and they were fine, you're tarded if you're asking me to street race a passenger van.

>>27600699
I don't have a Bugatti, I have a 911. I don't street race in a passenger van. That's what tards like you do.

>>27600701
I agree, these tards are especially 'tarded


Any other tards need a (you) from Daddy?

>>27600734
Anyone that calls themself daddy in situations like this is a basement-dwelling pedophilic incel allergic to bathing or hygiene and hopelessly addicted to almost all of the drugs that exist.

You know, the usual kind of person you see voting democrat.

>>27600746
>muh politics! waa waa waa!
Sounds like you just can't get enough of Daddy's attention, tard. Go on, tell Daddy how bad you need his attention. Extra groveling, it's hilarious.

old tires are fine if they're not dry rotted or in bad shape, if they've been stored properly they're probably good enough

>>27600752
You aren't helping your image, so I assume you're that kid that gets off on pretending to be retarded.
Seek professional help, this isn't a healthy mental state.

>>27600764
Isn't it so weird how you're claiming I'm this crazy psycho but you're still begging, pleading for my attention?

We both know you can't stand the thought of being without Daddy's attention. Just admit it.

>>27600771
Seek professional help.

>>27600777
>still begging for Daddy's attention

It's so funny how you pretend that's not why you keep responding

>>27600784
The unhinged fetishism you lefties love doesn't really help you here.
This is a thread about tires, not tranny fantasies.

>>27600788
You know that every time you beg for my attention I'll give you just a little bit. And that's why you keep doing it.

You know you can talk about tires if you want, but you're not here for tires. You're here for me.

You're the fetishist in this thread. Admit it.

>>27600791
I'm curious how far you carry this unhinged fetish larp.
Unfortunately for you it's gardening season and I have lots of garden left to turn in the morning. Seek professional help.

>>27600821
Right, write it off as "muh curiosity" while you project your fetish onto me.
I can't tell if you're just terrible at hiding your fetish or if you yourself are in denial that you have it, either way I hope you either admit it or get over it

>>27600734
>literal bus driver

>>27601150
>I drive a van on road trips so I can seat many people
>this is somehow a bad thing
Please explain why you are retarfed

>>27600821
Dude please take your fetish somewhere else, nobody wants to see you do this shit on a thread about tires

>>27600529
Erm, no sweaty, you're the stupid one. 9+10=21

>>27599632
Sticking your dick into an electrical outlet and not dying doesn't make it safe. You're a retard who thinks big jew is truly pushing tire replacements for no reason. No traction compound is lasting that long while being at it's most effective, good enough does not mean good. I drove 900 miles home on a set of 10 year old Toyo A/T's and while they looked weathered and cracked before hitting the road, a week after it was home and parked chunks began popping off the sidewalls and 1/8" cracks had split all over them.


Just admit you're a cheap retarded fuck who compromises others and his own safety and thinks he's intellectually superior.

>>27603050
>Temper tantrum
Try again when you've calmed down.

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Tire aging is NOT a myth and OP is a retarded faggot. Nobody knows more about old, worn and dated tires than me. Yes, it matters and to think otherwise is retarded. Can you get lucky? Defy the odds? Sure, but I'm still right. There is no "myth", only retarded people.

>>27603125
Pretending to be retarded isn't healthy and you should seek a mental health professional.

>>27603313
I see the fetishist is back for more of my attention. Let's do this somewhere else than the tire thread. Or is the public humiliation part of why you do this?

>>27603278
Nice temper tantrum. You can try again when you're ready to behave.

its sort of a myth... if the tires develop cracks due to age then they now run a high risk of blowing its just the way it is. but if they havent cracked yet then you got a high quality brand and you can run them into the ground for 5 decades if you want. or until they become smooth enough to be absolute shit in rain/snow then you can get new ones.

people replacing tires prematurely because muh manufacturing dates are the biggest faggots ever and usually drive an egg with a built in dilator

>>27603658
No no no, you have to replace your tires every week regardless of any other variable.

>>27603125
No temper at all, I couldn't care less if you blow a tire and careen into a telephone pole. Risk your life or kill yourself I do not care, but do not risk someone else's.

>>27603984
>no temper
Yes, we are aware you have 0 temper. That is why you're having a temper tantrum. You don't need to remind us.

>muh don't care!
But you're still here begging and pleading for attention?

Fine, I'll bite. All the shitposting and emotions aside, what do you think you did to make your tires last?

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>>27604587
Nothing. He says he did nothing aside from park the vehicle they're mounted on in the shade

>>27604589
Yep. Buy quality, drive it once in a while so the rubber won't turn to rock, park it in the shade, it literally is that simple.

>>27604618
What brand of tire?

>>27604622
One pair of BFGs one pair of Bridgestones. Originally 4 Bridgestones but the car ran over something sharp in ~2008 hence the unmatched pairs.

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>>27604622
Off brand Bridgestones that are totally legit bro

>>27604903
>off brand bridgestones
That's not how brands work. Ling Long or Tigerpaw is an off brand, Bridgestone or BFGoodrich are name brands.

I think you need to do some reading and then you can try again.

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>>27604948
>Counterfeits don't exist
Dang bro I'd love to live in whatever world you have

>>27605012
>buying counterfeit tires
Why in God's name would you ever buy from a shop that sells counterfeit tires? Are you stupid?

Allegedly if they're not dried-up they're fine, that's why the tire shop guy told me at least.

>>27604629
How are the tires on your Poorsche?

>>27599810
those have dry rot
>>27599632
those look fine

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>>27605230
I dunno you're the one running around on trash

>>27605737
>You buy counterfeit tires
>Try to comment on anyone else's tires
Lolno, try again when you stop buying fake linglongs

>>27605294
They're great, as are the tires on any car I own

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>>27605743

>>27605750
What are you on about? Posting pictures of a drawing of tires, what does that mean? Speak English

>>27599698
don't drive on old tires that have been left out in the sun or out in the weather for long periods of time without movement. That's when they crack up and fuck out. trailer tires are notorious for it. if they are old tires that have been sitting in a store for 20 years they will be absolutely fine. if you pull a pair of tires off a pile that's been sitting out the back of shop for 20 years then they are fucked

>>27599632
Rubber gets hard and brittle as it ages. It’s just a fact.

Tires are constantly flexing and moving and bearing weight. The harder they are the closer they come to cracking and failing…under pressure and weight and at speed. They’ll blow up throw heavy hard debris moving at high speed somewhere.

Further they don’t have as much friction.

It’s just stupid to keep using those

>>27606247
I tow stuff at 70mph all the time, you're just marketing-addled

I need front tires now, and rear tires soon. I have a toyota sienna. I am moving from west coast US to new england (3500 mile drive). I want larger diameter, snow rated tires once in new england. However, I want stock diameter tires for the drive since i will be towing.

Will 2x Mohave brand front tires and my ironman with 3/32 thread left in the rear get me across the country while towing?

tldr I want the cheapest tire option for a 3500 mile ride and will get actual nice tires once i get to where im going, but I do not want any issues on that 3500 mile drive

>>27599847
can you not numbers?
2k miles > 1400mi

>>27606589
Oh, my bad, I forgot that tires are an on/off switch. So as soon as I hit 2000 miles since you posted that comment, they'll spontaneously combust?

>>27606576
Did you not read any part of this thread?
Rule #1. Buy quality, not shit.

Even "Linglong Crosswinds" will be better than "Mohave" and "Ironman"

>>27599632
>and I still haven't spontaneously combusted.

Look at this retard being proud for riding on garbage


Since you're a retard let me explain to you that rubber rots and because yours hasn't exploded yet doesn't mean the chances of it happening hasn't gone up 10x so have fun with that gamble I guess

>>27606597
did you not read past my first sentence? I am getting nice tires once I get to where im going. I only need something to get thru the next 4000 miles.

I can not get the nice tires now because i want a larger diameter. larger diameter while towing on a long road trip will be very hard on the transmission, which is why i wont do it

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>>27605741
My man, I only use Michelins

>>27606611
>temper tantrum about how you're mad because you're marketing-addled

You can try again when you're ready to behave, OK?

>>27606595
tires are either not exploded, or exploded. there is no in between.

>>27606613
Just get the nice tires and shift down one gear if you're actually worried about the transmission

>>27606634
So your tires are just as bad as mine, got it.

Why are you such a hypocrite to drive on the exact same tires as me and have temper tantrums about it?

>>27606634
>there is no in between.
Schrodinger's tire

>>27605752
do not store 4 tires upright together. you can store 4 hanging, or 3 stacked.

>>27606628
I'm not, you are

>>27606247
what if i moisturize my tires

>>27606639
the larger tires are effectvely the same as towing an extra 1000 lbs. even with the stock tires id be shifting down a gear, you fucking idiot. do you want me to drive across the 4th largest country on the planet in 3rd gear?
that still doesnt help me all the times i have to accelerate thru 1st and 2nd.

threads like this are why I understand politicians who want to make "disinformation" a felony depending on what was said and what happened because of it

I hate it, fucking hate it, but people like OP make it necessary
I should murder OP. Sounds like a good idea.

>>27606679
>I'm not, you are.
Yes, we already established that you aren't ready to behave. You don't need to remind me that I'm better than you.

>>27606703
>A slightly larger tire is the same as 1000lbs.
No, no it is not, at all.
A taller tire is equivalent to taller gearing. The gear in your transmission/differential doesn't change how much a trailer weighs. You should do some reading then try again.

Exactly what size tires are you planning to run on your Toyota Sienna Minivan anyways? Are you one of those idiots who thinks their FWD minivan looks good with 35s? It doesn't, FYI

>>27607402
>I should threaten violence against OP for refusing to buy into the rampant consumerism epidemic.

This is how I know I'm right. The ones who hate freedom, will threaten violence against people who refuse to be controlled.

Thanks for outing yourself as a tyrant-loving bootlicker.

>>27607438
don't care

you'll be culled along with the rest

>>27607440
Try it, and tell me how tar+feathers tastes :)

>>27607459
don't care
you'll be culled along with the rest

>>27607460
When did /o/ become a China simp board?

>>27607413
>You don't need to remind me that I'm better than you.

My car has new tires.

>>27607465
m8 I think the people trying to convince english speakers that dangerous tires are not dangerous,
would be chinese people

don't care you're going to get culled like all the other bugs

>>27607427
>A taller tire is equivalent to taller gearing. The gear in your transmission/differential doesn't change how much a trailer weighs.
its amazing you dont understand the most fundamental and basic aspects of mechanics. you have no idea what gears or leverage are. good job showing us all how retarded you are

>>27607485
This is a sad attempt at projection.

If your Toyota Sienna Minivan is genuinely so close to the brink of breakdown that a 5% change in tire size kills it, you have no business trusting it to get you anywhere even with the smaller tire.

>you don't understand leverage!
You are claiming that a slightly different tire is equal to a flat, arbitrary addition of 1000lbs to the mass of a trailer. It's YOU who doesn't understand gears or leverage.

Good job showing us all how retarded you are.

>>27607474
>literal CCP propaganda about murdering anyone who doesn't comply to your wishes
>temper tantrum when i call you out for spouting CCP propaganda

You really aren't the brightest bulb, are you?

>>27607510
You're australian I just want you to know nobody respects people from your prison island

>>27607501
>arbitrary addition of 1000lbs to the mass of a trailer.

its not just the trailer dumbass. its the driver, its the fuel, its the entire van, its everything that is loaded into the van. and then yeah, its the trailer, and everything loaded into the trailer.

if the tire is 7% bigger, then the curb weight, trailer weight, and a load inside the van adds up to like 800lbs extra load based solely on the gearing. youre being quite the pedantic cunt cuz I rounded to 1000.

If someone is going to drive 3500 miles, including through mountains, then yeah, not having an extra 800lbs of load would be great, especially for 15 year old automatic transmissions which tend to overheat when put under large loads for extended periods of time

>>27607554
>tire size difference is equal to [arbitrary] higher weight!
No you fucking RETARD

Bigger tire is the same as a taller (lower number) final drive.
If I have a 3.5 and increase my tire size 20% the vehicle effectively acts as if it has a 2.8 diff.
If my engine has 100 TORKS it puts 350 TORXS with the normal tires and 280 TORQCHS with the bigger tires.

>800 pounds
retard my god you're all stupid
kill your local old people, folks

>>27607566
what unit is torque measured in dumbass. its ft*lbs.

thats foot POUNDS

its almost like using a weight to describe the effect of different gearing is completely valid

>>27607582
you're just being retarded for the sake of being retarded, I guess

4chan is not High School Debate Club.

>>27607554
>I am worried that my Toyota Sienna Minivan will overheat and die because of a 3% change in tire size

If it's going to die with a 3% taller ratio it's going to die without it too.

I think it's time for you to turn in your driver's license and get a bus pass. You're clearly not mentally fit to tie your shoes let alone drive a car.

>>27607554
>its not just the trailer, it's the van too
Why are you planning to run a tire that you genuinely believe will instantly kill your transmission even WITHOUT the trailer?

>>27607658
>>27607662
what are the consequences of
my vehicle breaking down with all my belongings in it 2000 miles away from home
vs
my mostly empty vehicle breaking down a couple of miles from where i live and work.

ill give you a hint: one is significantly more difficult to deal with than the other.

>3%
I clearly wrote 7% but if you need to ignore reality to feel like youve won, well, then go tie your shoes in front of a bus

>>27607756
>7%
if your 1st gear is a 4.5x ratio, your final is a 3.3 and you engine makes TOO HUNNED TERKS
that's 2970ft-lb at the wheel
With a 7% larger tire that's 2762

it isnt 800ft-lb, it isn't enough to make any real difference in normal driving,
you'll see a 0.1 second 0-60 increase, and a MPG decrease so small you won't be able to accurately measure it.

stop being fucking stupid

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>>27607467
Careful there, don't you know that having things that aren't a decade past their best condition is Le hecking consumerisms!?
You should be ashamed of yourself! Being contrarian is a sign of high intelligence you know!

>>27607756
>i said 7%!
If you genuinely believe that changes anything about your retardation you need to immediately apologize to your tardwrangler.

Just put the proper sized, quality tire on the car. Why would you even want to put a 7% different tire on anyway? What are you hoping to gain?

>>27607467
>I wasted money because I'm marketing addled.
Again, you don't need to remind me I'm better than you. I already know.

>>27607993
Another marketing-addled retard. Parhetic.

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Anon's bait clear worked. Bait thread at its finest.

>>27608810
It may be bait but he's right

>>27608930
Exactly. It would be bait if I was wrong, and only saying it to make retards mad.

This on the other hand, is true AND makes retards mad, which is 2 birds with one stone.

>>27608810
I'm gonna visit this anon in the hospital like picrel

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>>27608000
>Again, you don't need to remind me I'm better than you.

Oh okay we got a clear winner.

Here celebrate with some milk, expired just like you like.

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i dug a hf trailer out of the weeds, its however old the last time they put 4.80's on them is, i know they sell them w radials now. Wouldnt hold air, lawnmower intertubes in them. Its gone 30 miles at 55 so far and the flat spots worked out of them. Think it will go another 40?

>>27609820
Tires aren't made of milk. I don't know how you managed to get this wrong, it's pretty obvious that tires aren't made of milk

>>27609963
Duct tape it, bobs your aunty

>>27609963
those are bias plies
they last a hell of a lot longer than radials. moreover, they can sit for long periods without trouble.

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>>27611931
left says 02/96. right doesn't have a dot code

ive been wondering about tire age. I have some enkei j10s with indy 500s on them and i would drive on them but i was thinking of giving them to my sister but wondering if dry AZ 5 year old tires are okay to give someone whos never experienced a tire going out at speed. i have a suspicion that the odds of them blowing out arent any worse than some new cheap tires.

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Remember, guys, rubber doesn't decay ever, things like pic related are literally marketing lies to con you into buying more things.

>>27612205
>posting in bad faith
That should be a bannable offense. That rubber is in constant contact with fuel and oil, it's a pump for a carburetor.

>>27599632
how do we know these tires aren't sitting out in a field somewhere and you actually drove them

>>27599632
It's not 2104 yet.

>>27612241
>That rubber is in constant contact with fuel and oil
This rubber decayed after sitting dry for 20 years and was no longer flexible. The oil on it in the picture is there after the fact from when it was being removed for replacement.

>>27613011
You mean the gasoline dried out, in other words the rubber absorbed most of it.

>>27613014
Negative. The primer bulb and fuel lines were replaced during a carb rebuild, and it was never used again due to the old man that owned it falling ill and no longer being able to garden. They never saw fuel.

>>27613034
You rebuild a carb and don't test it?

>>27613011
>It sat completely untouched for 20 years.

Gee, almost like I've been saying this entire time "don't leave rubber untouched for multiple years"

>>27612245
What would I get out of lying? It would be a waste to make retards mad over something that isn't actually true.

Choose not to believe me if you want, the same way you can choose to believe 2+2=5.

>>27613041
ive never touched a rubber in my life
child support is a bitch

>>27613046
That's your own fault. Don't be silly, wrap your willy. Ask Chuck Sheen or Magic Johnson.

>>27613037
Who would have thought a retard is retarded?

>>27606617
No, you use counterfeit tires because you're too retarded to not buy counterfeits somehow.

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>>27599632
In good conditions they can last for a while, swap them out if they're visibly dry rotted along the edges. If they look alright then they probably are.
>t. had picrel happen at 70mph in an 84 regal

>>27599632
Tires do age and crack. You’ll notice a loss of air pressure over time. Don’t be a retard and change them every 8 years regardless of mileage.

>>27613037
>You rebuild a carb and don't test it?
Can you not read?
I got it from my old neighbor after her husband died, it was still on the workbench from when he rebuilt it 20 some years previously.

>>27615151
>you'll notice loss of air pressure over time
Anon, that happens to every tire regardless of age. Tires will lose air over the course of a few months. You should be refilling any tire at least every season.

>>27615774
Again,
>sat unused for 20 years
There's your problem.

>>27616380
Flexing rubber does not magically make the organic compounds in it that allows it to flex not evaporate over time.

>>27616706
I'm sorry, which one of us has 22 year old tires in good condition and which one of us has a carburetor that's shattering?

You can admit I'm right and beg for forgiveness now.

>>27616800
Based
>>27616706
It does avoid the crystallization into harder structures

>>27616800
>good condition
>visibly cracked
Mutually exclusive.

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>>27599810
>Just did 100 mph on them yesterday.
Don't do that again, or I'm telling.

>>27617880
Where are the visible cracks? Unless you're somehow so retarded that you think the paint on the lettering is indicative of the tire's condition, in which case you should probably apologize to your tardwrangler immediately.

>>27618161
>you think the paint on the lettering is indicative of the tire's condition
In the extreme closeup you provided, there are multiple cracks that extend into the sidewall. Your tire is failing due to the rubber compounds breaking down.

>>27619050
You are genuinely schizophrenic, the picture contains no such cracks.

>>27617905
If he wants to drive on those cracked ass tires, it's his own problem. Although I don't get the point of letting your tires get that bad. All it takes is driving on them once in a while and keeping them out of the sun.

>>27619124
He thinks this >>27599810 is your pic

>>27619756
Then he's retarded and he should feel bad.

>>27617905
Stop beating off to cartoons.

>>27617178
No no no, you don't understand. Obviously time is the only factor in how long tires last. They instantly nuclear-detonate 90 days after purchase.

How is this argument still going on?

>>27599632
I drove winter and summer tyres that were 15 years old for like 3 years.

They came with the car and I didnt have money to change it.

During the winter I couldn't brake, accelerate or turn without losing traction. During the summer I couldn't hit a water puddle without almost dying.


Great experience overall and made me into a better driver. I never let anyone else drive the car because I knew they'd probably die in the first corner but towards the end of that car's life I was going 100km/h on small forest roads in the winter with zero accidents.

On my new car I got some bald summer tyres that were 8 or 9 years old. Drove em and it was great for traction lmao but when I arrived at work one day one of em popped.


In theory you can have 15 year old tyres and they'll still be fine as long as they were stored properly. But no one ever stores tyres properly, at least not that long.


Oldest tyres I've run was an old volvo and I was in a pinch. Grabbed an old pair of wheels that were in the back of the barn and put em on. Drove em for 3-4 months. I think they were made 1980 something.

Worked great.

>>27625295
And those same tards that can't figure out how to keep tires out of the sun go on and project their retardation onto those of us who actually have brains

I had a pair of the fucking cheapest Dexteros on my old Suburban. They went 10 years before starying to crack. Meanwhile my KO2s on my Blazer lasted 3 years before the split down the sidewall.

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>>27622112
You can't make me

>>27625718
At least it's just pictures instead of the real thing like Dodge drivers do.

>>27599632
Meh, don't really care if it's a myth, I err to an unreal degree of caution, I check fluids, tire pressure, tread, rotor and pad eveness/thickness (respectively), keep the engine bay routinely clean (about once every three weeks, not a large commuter rn, specifically to spot leaks), and detail the interior and exterior.

I take care of my car, and it's an old-ass honda suv. I don't prefer to use tires that are old, because I've personally had the experience of witnessing blow-outs (parents' car, they had crusty tires on, and BOOM). I don't want that, so to the best of my ability, I check my shit.

Years, ehh, I'd probably go one or so over the recommended, but if I have the dough, I know that I'm investing by purchasing newer rubber. Versus the higher probability of less fuckery from older rubber before it wears away.

>>27626361
>I'd let my tires be one year older than recomended
You'd let your tires get 1 year and 90 days old? That's so dangerous, how dare you anon!

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>>27619124

>>27599632
>no there are no cracks you science-denying fascist, stop believing your lying eyes!
The ones near the bead are the ones that are going to get you, but keep living in the weird delusion that things only fail because of marketing or whatever shit you're spouting.

>>27627830
>shows marks caused by the molding process
>they're cracks bro, trust!

So how did you get this retarded? Or were you just born this way?

>>27627830
also,
>guys look the paint is a little bit old!
Tires aren't made of paint, anon.

I get that you're retarded and jealous of me, but could you be jealous in a less retarded way?