why did i have to go through male puberty whyyyy why why why why the first 18 years of my life are just on repeat in my head, even after 5 years of hrt. it never stops. going through puberty traumatized me. and its my fault. i could have stopped it. i missed my chance of looking normal. and i can never get that back. i will forever be ostracized and seen as a freak by the general public. all because i started hrt too late. and i can never get that back. and its my fault. and i could have done soemthing. its my fault. i have nobody to blame but myself and io will nevber forgive myuself. i ruined my life by sitting there and letting testosterone destroy my body. its my fault. i missed my chance./ and its my fault. its my fault. i have nobody to blame but myself. i could have been a yuoungshit. my parents are supportive. i could have been a youngshit. i live in a state with clinics for youngshits. its all my fault. i ruined my life. i could have been a youngshit. and now my body is permanently ruined beyond repair. surgery cant fix this. people will always know. and its all my faul.t. i ruined my life. its my fault. i missed my chance and its my fault and i can never get that back. i will never forgive myself
How old are you?
>>3553751824.5
>>35537450TL;dr but I got the gist.Exact same issue but started at 22.You need to learn to live with it, it was always gonna be be only so much anyhow. Doing what you can to get your body towards your own view of yourself, and figuring out how to live with what you can't fix.I suggest picking up a hobby, a study routine, something to keep the mind chugging along and moving forward. Also, if you're stuck in the place you grew up as well I suggest see how reasonable it is to pack up and move perhaps.Recognize the things that trigger those feeling, find things that can help keep you away from them, take steps towards bettering your life and situation while also trying to not encounter them as often.
