I'm on two dozen different servers that I've harvested over the years and I have yet to have a presence in any of them.Hopping on an ongoing coversation feels like I'm barging into a group of friends pretending like I'm part of it and it's hard to get what is the culture of that server when compared to forums because of how chatrooms are formatted.Is this one of those things that only works if you already have someone in the group that you know? I've just ended up becoming a lurker on literally every single server I'm a part of except the one made by my normie friend group.I know this is some bottom of the barrel socialising 101 kind of question but I'm earnestly asking so I'd appreciate some advice.
>>35531663ask chatgpt it gives better than average social advice
>>35531663Just ask people questions related to their interests or what they’re talking about. Then, relate to their topic from time to time. Didn’t you have friends growing up? Even the weirdos in my school had friends
>>35531758I know how to do that irl or in 1on1 chats but how can I single someone out in a general chatroom to do that? Wouldn't I need some kind of in to naturally get that going?the weirdos at the schools I went to usually had different interests than mine so I grew up having at most 2 friends at once, and my family was moving places pretty much every other year so it was hard to keep connections that I made. Then at 22 I also got diagnosed with autism which kind of explained some other stuff.
>>35531663discord servers are cancer. it's basically the worst parts of reddit on steroids. cliquey and hivemind are words that come to mind. it only takes one person in the clique being miserable and vitriolic for no reason for them to tell you to kill yourself and belittle you for literally nothing before the entire clique hops onto the dogpile. if you do literally anything but ignore them, they will make a point to flood the chat with instant garbage dogpiling onto you to bury your message since it's a chatroom (basically a more modern version of mass downvoting). the higher effort your reply, the stupider you are for having the faith to make it. there is literally no win condition besides groveling before the inordinate unprovoked asshole of the group and sucking their dick to avoid incurring the wrath of the clique. if you want to make friends, you're better off taking it to DMs
>>35531920well, posting about hivemindy vitriolic places on an anonymous imageboard site feels a tad ironic. If I wanted to avoid toxic clickey places on their entirety as a rule I don't even know what corner of the internet I would have left to be in.I'm just trying to make do with what I have at my reach.
>>35531911i'm the anon who just said not to make yourself vulnerable to discord servers (by literally just putting yourself out there in them), but i guess this is Cunningham's Law coming into effect, because i would not have made this reply had that anon not given you bad advicemaybe it depends on the server, but unless you're in the smaller channels with topics, the general chat is 99.9% of the time meaningless brainrot drivel that is so bad and awful that i think it is mental illness to find it fulfilling to participate in it or consume it. this is ignoring the looming thread (rather, promise) of being systematically abused for literally no reason just because someone in the clique dislikes you, even when you did nothing wrongi would NOT suggest asking them questions related to their interests or what they're talking about. that is not even possible 99.9% of the time, because discord niggers thrive on flooding the chat, but in an endearing way. meaning that there is always a non-zero chance at any time for five or more people to instantly respond with a one-word answer, or an emote, or a huge fucking gif that buries the chat instantly for everyone. no one wants to make themselves vulnerable by saying anything that requires more than ADHD brain to read or type, so everything is in bite-sized pieces for their own safety against their "friends" they love so much. just read the room. if someone mentions they just went on a walk, maybe you can say you hope it went well. if someone says they just got off from playing a game, maybe you can ask how it went. but the idea that you can just identify someone's interest, and have them open up about it, in a fucking discord general chat, is laughable. it would take far too much effort to do it justice, and they know the more effort they expend, the more juicy it would be for their "friends" to shame them for it. general chats are for superficial garbage that sucks and is horrible. anything deeper is for DMs
>>35532009at least on 4chan when limp dick queers have no argument against you but fling shit anyway, your high-effort reply is more visible than their "reaction image.jpg" or whatever garbage they spew at you, even if people dogpile onto you. in discord, they bury your high-effort message, and it was only ever seen by the very people who purposely buried it, because they want to make clear you're a retard for using your words to justify things on the flood-the-chat-to-downvote platform. it is literally not worth it on discord. just awful
>>35532123>>35532241you just seem to be a generally unhinged and antisocial person. Honestly I don't think that taking advice from you would be a good idea.
>>35532332thanks for rebutting my argument. also i hope you're misusing "antisocial", in that you mean "asocial" rather than "antisocial personality disorder" (ASPD), which is the medical diagnosis for sociopath, considering i am literally saying that discord niggers are extremely low on empathy and can't think for themselves whenever the opportunity for hivemind groupthink presents itself
>>35531920You gotta get into a group chat at rhe ground level desu. I was in one with some friends I made on /r9k/ for years. We tried to integrate new ppl but only a few made it and became mainstays, its hard to break the cliquey barrier. Sometimes just staying despite everyone telling you to kill yourself is necessary too kek, some guys fucking hated my guts but eventually everyone has no choice but to mellow out if you act like a little cockroach and never leave. Thats how I broke the clique barrier on some other servers I used to frequent
