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>QOTT
BEEp
BEEep
gaaaahhhhh

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>QOTT1: can you really push the irreconcilable mistakes in your past away and move forward?
lolno
>QOTT2: when’s the last time anyone told you they loved you
4 months ago while e-dating my ex
>QOTT3: how will you punish yourself today?
broke my diet 10 minutes ago and ate ice cream :3

I used to post on /repgen/ then on /mmg/ then on /bmg/. Now I'm girlmoding and have a gf. I legitimately thought I'd never have a life and I'd never pass, but I made it. You can too, perhaps :)

>>35506793
>QOTT1:
fuck no lol
>QOTT2:
8 years ago before they had me committed
>QOTT3:
starve fo today

>>35506867
perhaps not

>>35506867
I started lurking agpgen and repgen before mmg was a semi-consistent thing, bmg never seemed right for me since it was just mtfg and mtfg was too fast and insane and full of people who actually identified as women, and now I've just been stuck here for four years

>>35506793
>QOTT1: can you really push the irreconcilable mistakes in your past away and move forward?
Every year, it gets easier and easier to ignore the past when you move over 1000 miles away from everybody who you used to know.

>QOTT2: when’s the last time anyone told you they loved you
Today :) my gf is my sole reason for living at all and without her, i would literally self immolate

>QOTT3: how will you punish yourself today?
looked in the mirror :(
looked at a pic of myself from today :(
looked at a pic of myself from months ago when i looked better :(
saw pictures of other trannies, all look better than me :(

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ill never move on from mmg!! mmg is my home!! and also ill never get the chance to...

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and (You) don't seem to understand

Qott1:no
Qott2: some online friend often tells me she loves me but in like a platonic way
Qott3:it's too late for punishment

>>35506867
i started on repgen -> mmg -> bmg (realized i didnt belond & wasnt even close to other boymoders) -> mmg
i hope i can just have decent enough results to girlmode
idk if i can though...

努力 未来 A BEAUTIFUL STAR
努力 未来 A BEAUTIFUL STAR
努力 未来 A BEAUTIFUL STAR
努力 未来 A BEAUTIFUL STAR

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I shift between "things will get better I just need to put myself out there" and "I need to kill myself right now" several times a day. What mental illness is this?
>inb4 "BPD"
It's not BPD.

>>35506793
>QOTT1: can you really push the irreconcilable mistakes in your past away and move forward?
nope they consume me daily
>QOTT2: when’s the last time anyone told you they loved you
my gf last night
>QOTT3: how will you punish yourself today?
i will try to get my medication (punishes the anxious and the autistic self)

I think I would probably be happy honmoding, I wonder if I should give it a go?

>>35509409
if you can you prob should, cause that can lead into passing some day if ur lucky
i wouldnt be able to handle honmoding, would just look like a man in a dress in the most dysphoria inducing way

>>35506867
Some people truly cannot

>>35508906
I do this and I suspect I have bpd

>>35508906
me, i have cptsd and anxiety among a few others

>>35509425

Dresses are the hardest things for tranners to pull off successfully. Take it easy, try some women's jeans and fem cut shirts.

>>35509809
well i got high waisted jeans today so lmao, but i dont look good/look like a man (though some said it was cute... idk)
but still, looking like a man in it, like, its not totally a womans outfit so it kinda works. but the point is
if i tried presenting as a girl rather than slightly fem style leaning guy then i would look insane & like a fetishist or something

>>35506793
>QOTT1
Can SOME people? Yes. Can I specifically do that? No lmao
>QOTT2
My grandmother last night over the phone.
>QOTT3
Being lonely is punishment enough :(

>>35509833
>>35509809
>>35509425
i just wish it wasnt so high effort. i think thats the part that really kills me.

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I am completely useless and worthless

>>35508906
its bpd
>t.bpdemon

i need to make the next 30 days the most important.

>>35508906
yeah same and it's totally not BPD it's all these other things with symptoms that overlap BPD and are comorbid with BPD but it isn't BPD
t. needs to kill himself for being an ugly unlovable freak (but like an hour ago was literally saying out loud how pretty my body was when looking down)

>>35510206
I've taken several BPD tests and all of them have told me I have moderate symptoms at worst. I don't think it's BPD. It might be CPTSD though. I just feel like there's like a demon grafted onto my personality that fills me with thoughts of self-hatred, even when things are going fine and I know what I need to do to get happy

How do you actually get a bpd diagnosis? Psychiatrists have always skirted it when Ive brought it up and given me a bunch of other diagnoses, and I hit some of the hallmarks like cutting myself, suicidal gestures (attempts), fear of abandonment in relationships, blowing up over nothing (i cut myself because of a lasagna the other night). its fucking annoying. Im already referred to dbt, on olanzapine and antidepressants as well, so i feel like im being treated for bpd but just without the label

>>35510220
why? makes these days any different from any other you've put off doing the things you said you would?

the moon is full and I want to go out and enjoy it but I don't have anywhere to go to or anyone to go with and I'm so anxious over how I look and being hatecrimed and I know I'll just be a sweaty dissatisfied mess by the time I'm back home if I just go out for a walk with no aim

>>35510313
well if you wanted honesty that’s all you had to say

>>35510368
yayyy someone else who loves the full moon :D i swear i need to be out during it otherwise i lose my mind during that month. i’ll taka pic for u

>>35510437
idk what it is but I find myself more than anything drawn to the way people seem to lose their minds over it, like there's something baked into our cognition to place emphasis on the moon and let our little shamanistic imaginations run wild with it... it's just so captivating to look at and feel that awful rush of trying to understand the distance between me and this hunk of rock hanging in the sky

i walk around the crib with my freakish enby tits out
my mom and dad misgender me
im still unemployed
i still got no hoes
im still a little man
i cry a lot
im weak and i hate myself
i look like a bitch, but not on a good way
i get on my knees for my friends when they ask me
and when i say my friends i mean just one person
i don't got a lot of friends so i transitioned
everyone knows so that's not why im hiding
im the lowest of the low
you can step on me

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>>35510483
its my power source :0
shitty camera i hate this!!! it looks like a fkn quasar!!

>>35510483
the moon heightens emotions and intrusive thoughts

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hate this camera

>>35510632
This is a cool photo even though it's low quality. Sucks that it snows where I live still

>>35510719
>Sucks that it snows where I live still
i wish it snowed where i live... i wanna move somewhere where its cold because these desert summers fucking suck)

>>35510747
Snow is beautiful.. it makes everything glow and uplifts during those short days, BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPRING, NOT NEGATIVE C OUTSIDE!!
But yeah, hope you get to experience it someday :)

it's so bright... shame my camera sucks

do u like the new bladee
i think its like the fool x wodg

i think im too old for bladee even though im his age

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>>35510555
yeah shit's crazy it's like distractingly bright even in my apartment

I ended up going out despite myself and I think some guy tried to buffalo bill me or just thought I was at some party or something with someone he knew, but I liked this framing even with my shitty camera

>>35510809
I know I'm too old for bladee because it just doesn't make any sense to me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om4AE5El9oE

>>35510809
dudes older than me and i feel too old for him. to me he sort of seems like a poser

>>35510810
kewl :0 what do u see in ur moon a frog?

I’m starting to think that mmg isn’t very fembrained.

>>35511024
They’re men lol
It’s why they couldn’t pass naturally, nor could they transition young-
Their very souls are so male that even estrogen and surgery couldn’t make them into women

>>35511024
no shit? at least for the actual manmoders here like me

>>35511024
lol like the name didn't give it away

>>35511007
I see all the lost sentiment and experience I threw away by not living my own life with the pieces of myself strewn about like breadcrumbs in all my old memories crumbling apart deep inside every facet and crater

any tips how to make male friends? hopefully cute male friends :3
i only really connect with women :((

>>35510517

Get a job. Move out. You can do this. I was incredibly depressed/suicidal not that long ago while living with my parents. I found a part time job waiting tables, started bringing in some money at least. Got used to that, it definitely wasn't easy putting myself out there in front of so many people at first but after a few weeks of being an awkward clumsy manmoder I got the hang of it. Stayed in that job for about six months, got a full-time job somewhere else after that. Income was enough that I could afford a basic apartment, moved out and started the new job. Worked my ass off, got promoted.

One step at a time. Never give up.

>>35511024
interestingly, from what I've seen, the majority of us here prefer men. hsts and terminal malebrain is such an unholy combo

>t. malebrained manloving manmoder

I'm an AGP bishit that primarily lusts after women but then goes through insatiable cravings for men sometimes

>>35511074
oh…i see a bunny i think :x

I was wanna look feminine. Never gonna change my identity/personality which tbf isnt the most masc but definitly more masc than fem

sometimes i feel like i should close all of my social media accounts. seeing happy, passing trannies makes me want to rope. hell, even happy hons make me want to suck off a shotgun. i'll die alone in my room a jobless faggot NEET who has never had a single real friend.

>>35511193
>passing trannies
i hate how depressed this makes me. i missed the one opportunity i had at happiness in my life

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should troonies become a doctor why or why not
asking for a fland

>>35511262
yes, at least practitioners
my hrt clinic is run by a passoid who started me off with bica and 4mg estradiol sublingual in the usa
you can be directly responsible for trannies not getting hondosed

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>>35511278
tranny medicine seems boring tho... rather do something fun like ER... useful medicine... surgery maybe... radiology...

>>35506793
>remains to be seen
>recently but it felt empty
>like every other time, by doing nothing instead of moving forwads

>>35511193
>seeing happy, passing trannies makes me want to rope.
literal suifuel, there's a reason I never use or look at social media. it's hard to not be bitter when you're constantly reminded of what you're missing out on, even if what it represents is so simple. just to be able to live an authentic and healthy life, happy that others accept you as who you really are: a person first, and a tranny not even second or third.

at this point I've kind of just accepted that I'm not someone who gets to find happiness. I cope that I deserve it, that most people are unhappy. I cope that being content is enough

>>35511095
Same bestie, but I think I only want a relationship with women

>>35511262
i wanted to become a psychiatrist but i dont think id survive the gauntlet of grad medical school so im taking an easier career path instead

I think I'll try to enter the medical world through engineering. Still would be towards machines though because bodies are hard..

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Anyone else immune to hrt?

>>35506867
Not me for sure nigha
>verification not required

>>35511655
you literally look like a mentally ill woman fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>35506793
QOTT1: No, I live with regret constantly but I try to ignore it. Living in the past doesnt fix the present but sadly nothing can.
QOTT2: My boyfriend about a week ago, my Dad recently
QOTT3: I dont really self harm, ive been sober for three months though and its sometimes pretty boring.

>>35506793
>Qott1
idk
>Qott2
i literally cant remember whens the last time it happened
>Qott3
nothing today but I know death is inevitable and the consequences of sin waiting in the afterlife

>have a billion thing si wanan talk with ym therapist with
>close appointment
>forget half of them
I guess Im either very forgetful or my constant venting on randoms online helps

Why am I horny
My levels where ok if a bit low E but that should still kill libido with 0 T
What gives

are the only people who are into manmoders other manmoders

>>35511858
or maybe gay men

>>35506793
>QOTT1

Im trying

>QOTT2
Last night :3

>QOTT3

Im not gonna

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ooaow

Gonna get my epilator today, should I just go at it straight away?

>>35511808
write it down on paper
>>35511858
certain "chasers" must find it appealing. thevye had sex with me afterall

>>35506867
This, but then back to manmoding and repression on/off

>>35511655
you mog me

What type of bicycle should a manmoder get? Im buying a beat up second hand bike now its spring

A dutch style, an old vintage racer bike or a fixie? reply with your bikes if you wanna

>>35506867
>repgen
>mmg
—— Passing potential ———
>bmg
>girlmoding


There is a wall i cannot pass

>>35512202
I mog lots of people doesn't mean i will ever pass

>>35512325
Lmao you are such a distasteful person holy shit.

>>35512325
You'll get peed on

>>35512331
They aren't wrong though

>>35512305
im there too, just leads to alienation from all of those groups

>>35506867
Luckshit or started way younger than me
If I ever get out of this hole its gonna be many years from now

>>35512237
Get what looks the best :)

>>35512806
That is my usual method for buying stuff but i just got one for 20 euro this second lol im gonna pick it up later its probably really bad condition but it has all the parts and no one will steal it hopefully

>>35512967
If you repair it and stuff it is probably worth it!
Enjoy your new bike girlie :)

>>35512976
<33

Should I buy a choker?
I am still fat from cope eating a decade ago only lost like 12 kg
Sundress tgirl never ever

It’s not fair that my friends keeps treating me like a woman without a hint of irony and is bullying me all the time for being “cute” and says he wants to touch my prostate. It’s not fair
My brain can’t handle it. I’m getting mentally raped into a bottom. He is turning me into his project girl.
Not fair. Can’t even fight back

>>35513257
Fuck yiu

>>35513257
i wish my friends were like this. at best they call me cute

one of the reasons never having any friend may have not been a great idea...
cant ever have the experience of childhood friend becoming my bf :(

>>35513257
Get out of mmg

I had a friend who always pretended I was a girl but it was just bullying because I'm really MASC. It still kinda turns me on and i phantazise.about him being my bf :/

>>35513446
They’ve never seen my face but know I’m a manmoder
I belong here
>>35513342
I wish
>>35513373
None of my irl friends do this only one guy

>>35513610
you should meet up and fuck them.

>>35513622
I wish
Bet they would do it too

>>35506793
What does it look like when manmoders try to honmode?

>>35513673
Like a regular hon?

I just booked an electrolysis consult even tho im getting laser on my face atm too. You can do both at the same time right?
I have a mix if dark hair blonde and red, like 50 percent dark 50 percent the others. Super annoying ik but i dont want to wait for months and months and months just to have all the lighter colour hairs still not be touched i want it all gone asap

>>35511193
>i'll die alone in my room a jobless faggot NEET who has never had a single real friend
same

>>35513208
hell no, never. chokers are the most clocky and tacky shit you could ever wear

>>35513208
hell yes, always, chokers are the cutest and sexiest shit you could ever wear

>>35513869
>>35513907
Imma buy it and just never wear it

>>35513831
>You can do both at the same time right?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'd ask but probably not

>>35514031
Nooooooooooooooo ;-;

>>35513831
Yes im getting electro at the same place im doing laser rn no problem. Have a mix of dark and blonde hairs too

>>35514135
Yesssssssssssssss we so back

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>>35511655
works on my machine

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>>35511655
stop cutting your hair

>>35512055
yes...
:3

>>35514324
Chuddy librarian nerd bitch who fucked chad once in high school

>>35514408
nsfw omg!

i coomed and nothing came out tf

>>35514614
congrats!

>>35514614
Yayyy, no mess, easy cleanup :)
(If you want to coom, go check out /futagen/s guide:

>Cum production:
"The Holy Grail of Cum Load Increase": https://thunders.place/male-supplements/holy-grail-of-cum-load-increase.html

>>35514614
Based!
I still get clear liquid
Hell I still get boners when someone makes me horny
Annoying

>>35514614
Its been like that since I started hrt. It’s honestly so great the mess used to annoy me so and was gross to deal with
i dont jerk off too much anymore though

>>35514699
i do but i wouldnt wanna raise my t if thats behind the mechanism of the supps..

>>35514716
i miss cooming thick loads
cleanup is easy if you just eat it

>>35514614
it was clear but still noticeable for the first couple years, now nothing comes out immediately but I always leak a little bit afterward...

>>35514408
this lol wtf paige karen

>>35514723
>(2) Zinc, 50mg Strength, Taken 1 time daily = 50mg
>(3) Pygeum, 100mg Strength, Taken 2 times daily = 200mg
>(4) Lecithin, 1200mg Strength, Taken 1 time daily = 1200mg

>As a side note: After being on Pygeum for 5 straight weeks now, I leak pre-cum like a damn faucet. This stuff definitely activates the Cowper’s gland.

I mean you should maybe do some research on those and how they effect T-values. I'm on cypro so T production shouldn't be an issue for me but might be for you

>>35514446
chad and stacy wanted to fuck me in high school but I only had eyes for the autistic bpd castlevania-playing emo girl who dropped into my lap

also I want a library full of books bound in human flesh

>>35514876
>but might be for you
yeah im on mono but ill look into it thanks maybe i can shoot loads again like a good futa

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>>35514324
hi goth daddy :3

>>35514324
Please stop ignoring my advances and let me hit already

>>35514945
Edgy…
Good taste but edgy.
Would you fuck a manmoder

>>35511858
gay men love manmoders as long as we dont have too much booba

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oh husbant…u were too malebrained and have pushed me to bmg…now we are homeless….

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>>35515039
wya

>>35515094
nobody wants to be alone (this is a lie I need to be alone most of the time)

>>35515150
My gay albanian fuckbuddy loves sucking on my moobs

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>>35515027
my child

having laser done makes me so happy
i have one in a bit today, i just cant wait till i have no more shadow!

>>35515400
hair removal is indeed really satisfying

>>35515228
my gay fuckbuddy broke up w me bcuz my boobs grew too much :( theyre still tiny idk what hes talking about

>>35515457
tittyphobe

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>>35515167

>>35515400
it’s literally crazy how much of a difference it makes mentally its just too slowwwwww

>>35515510
trans men are right, cis gay men need to get over their fear of boobs fo sho

im gonna die a virgin :3

>>35515400
same, I still have a bit of shadow but it's always way better for a while after I get lasered and there are so few and fine hairs left at this point the girl is basically irradiating my face (it's all puffy and and dry and hurts still 24h later)

I’m gonna try nair for the face wish me luck

>>35515867
good luck nair-chan

>>35515535
Not if we cuddle fuck first

I'm gonna die seething over the girl I lost my virginity to 3:

I broke up with girlfriend in high school because I didn't want to fuck her and now I'm (practically) an incel/virgin. Why am I such a clown. I should've stayed with her and never trooned out at worst I'd be john 50 with a good career and a family

>>35515535
come over

>>35515984
Foids are a waste of time it took all of my mid to late 20s to recover from my last gf when she broke up with me

all these manmoders talking sex as if each one of isnt a bottom

>>35516042
i would be a top if my junk worked right

>>35516042
I top with girls

>>35516042
yeah no run a train on me or something

>>35516038
bitches n hoes I'm still not over a girl I haven't been with for like 14 years

>>35516042
>all these manmoders talking sex as if each one of isnt a bottom

yeah that's why I didn't sex my girlfriend at the time I thought it was kinda repulsive (women their bodies in general desu)

>tfw complete bottom but will never be able to bottom
like, if bottoms cant be in relationships, whats the point in living?

>>35515400
Yeah same laser sessions are like the one thing I look forward to in life, I suspect my technician is hon-lasering me though

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The only sex I've had is piv with cis women, years before starting hrt

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>>35516610
same

>>35516610
Only made out with women before hrt, KHHV with men, who I like more

Only straight women will ever be attracted to me
: ' ) ending my life immediately

I tried to bottom for my ex and we never had sex anyway. 3 years being led on by fake love. I couldn’t even express that to her a year in abd I fumbled the relationship. Of course she was a fucking bitch in the end abd cheated on me.
Virgin card kept while she now rotated between exs ahaha

I haven't touched women at all, men are fucking easy through grindr, just chat with them to trust them with safe sex

Pozzed garbage icba

>>35516815
True, I've been only fucked virgins though :3, bad at sex

>>35516777
>Grindr
I don't want my first kiss with an amab to be from some fetishist boomer on Grindr, I want it to be from someone I love. And nobody can love a manmoder

Except another manmoder I guess :3

>>35517086
You'll be lucky if they want to kiss/cuddle, it's just pump and dumb

>>35517098
Why are men so fucking soulless? The idea of having sex with someone you don’t give a shit about and throwing them away immediately afterwards is unfathomable to me

>>35517150
I know.. that's why I stopped

>>35515400
Just got told im not a candidate for laser rip

>>35517240
;-; I feel you, haven't even gone and ask but I have soooo light hair that no way it's efficient. Electro on my beard I guess and epilating body hair..

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i fantasize about the people used to talk to me
in my dreams they're angry and they're stabbing me
i miss my friends
wish they cared enough to get revenge

i fantasize about being raped. i fantasize about raping people. i fantasize about being killed. i fantasize about killing people. i want to rape and kill you people. i know i'm a bad person. that's why i might as well choose evil. when i think about it makes my heart race. race like when i'm piped up. and i open my eyes and feel awake for the first time. like that first time he held that pipe up to my lips

>>35517240
at least electro is permanent :S

>>35517240
*hug*
fucking same damn... pain

>>35517387
yes wise anon, it is

>>35517362
weak
n*gger you choose your own destiny and posting weird bull on 4shit isn't a good choice

I'm so glad weed just makes me kind of veg out and go dude woah and wax philosophical over trivial things

>>35517451
none of it is actually real i'm just bored
i don't actually smoke crack and i haven't smoked any meth all week
the only thing that's real about me is i'm real fake

>>35516042
i'm vers pegging guys is fun

I'm so fucking cold constantly

>>35517387
ik i got a electro consult booked today just i want my leg hair yeeted too

woke ul from my 12 hour nap and im ready to do ot again

>>35517722
welcome to girlhood!

>>35517994
They should sell estrogen and a cuddle buddy as combo

>>35517667
ur not me lil bro i have the monopoly on posting kinda shit

>>35506793
Manmoders, how do you deal with unrequited crushes?

by isolating myself and never developing them to begin with

>>35518463
really really poorly and kind of destructively and then after the damage is done and the bridges are burned I do this >>35518474 out of fear of it ever happening again

>>35518463
Realize that I'm fucking clingy and crush on people very easily and just trying to forget it

>>35518463
>draw them
>listen to music and every song is about them
>dream about them
>fantasize about them spooning you
>think about their accent and how its cute
>cry thinking about them
>pretend to not feel anything when you talk to them

>>35518463
Imagine being a manmoder AND masochistic enough to allow yourself to experience sexual, much less romantic attraction to people who would never reciprocate

>>35517667
same ;__;

>>35518463
i usually end up confessing and making the friendship awkward for a bit. haven't burned any bridges though. also most of this >>35518852

I'm still not over an unrequited crush who hasn't been in my life for almost three years, only the second time in my life it's happened to me and I just don't think I can trust or survive another one

>>35518852
I do this and it’s a horrible way to cope, it makes everything worse. I’ve tried to stop doing it but it’s pointless I always retreat back into thinking of the person though. In fact I wish they would just die horribly at this point so I can have some peace since it’s never going to happen.

fuck.

>>35519400
suck

gluck

once had someone else who did the same thing with me at same time as me doing it with them. felt kinda crazy but never did anything with it, it was like double unrequited feelings

>>35519424
How do you know they felt that way

>>35519736
they told me

>>35519945
How did that come up, was it a random confession lol
And did you tell them you felt the same way

>>35519970
nah it came up prettylike naturally when talking about some mental health stuff and like unhealthy behaviour

storms coming

MMG has been quiet tonight, not enough schizo posting or horny posting

>>35520224
Sorry, I'm usually hornyposting here but I'm busy rn

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>>35520224

>>35520224
sorry im drained
when the mania hits again youll all know

some people are immune to estrogen

>>35515400
I wanted to check here because I was curious. I called every laser place I could find online, easily 20-30 places, just trying to find a place I trusted and hates all of it.

>1/2 of places wouldn't answer any questions or give a price, just "make an appointment for a consult"
>Several "women only"
>$200-400 per session, usually as a package deal
>IPL trying to be passed off as laser

The lady I picked (who I'm told is a tranny but didn't out herself) is this mid 30s bimbo gigapassoid whose chosen name is Stacy. She was so nice and answered all my questions and guaranteed 90% of hair in 6 sessions or she'll do free sessions until we're there. I'm so excited you have no idea. She wasn't the cheapest but she says she has some kind of new diode laser and is very skilled, plus I have pale skin and dark hair. I had several people recommend her. Is this realistic? Ppl online talk about 15 sessions at Milan. I've been doing electro for 6 months with a cheap machine I found online but it's so slow it'd take me a decade to finish, but I can wrap up that 10% I think. But 90% in 6 sessions real?

>>35520592
me
except dick

>>35520665
That sounds pretty good and I've heard of similar offers from other places with the free sessions (but I'm not sure if they actually go through with it). I wish I could've picked a hsts name like stacy but I'm a manmoder :(

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>>35520952
The crazy hon is back

>>35521013
Omg smash my everything

>>35520665
You do diy electro????? How? How mich was the machine? Did you practice or is scarring a risk

Why am i so buff? I hate it.

>>35521013
that bellybutton...

>>35521156
shush

>>35521162
ugly.

>>35521196
false

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>>35521145

It was like 50 bucks. Google "clean+easy electrolysis". I read about 80s and 90s troons building their own electro devices at home and followed their inspiration. Scarring, pitting and discoloration are a risk, yeah, but I was careful. Probably 100-200 hairs until I was able to reliably poke the follicles. Then another 500 until my technique was actually killing the follicles. Ruined a lot of needles figuring it out ($6 each...) I've done maybe 40 hours total (maybe 4000 follicles? Probably a 50% kill rate?), but going at probably 1/4 the rate of a pro. Picrel is my mustache area before vs a month or so ago, which I've been prioritizing since it's allegedly hardest to get with laser. 10x makeup mirror is a must.

I found an ipl device that was allegedly 20J/cm^3 and I did 8 treatments on my face which hurts like a mofo but did nothing but cause some blisters.

>>35521443
Wowwowow actual hopepill i want to go crazy with it on my bodyhair im getting one asap thank you <33 ill pay a professional to do my face tho

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>>35521608

My tips: Go ahead and buy 10 extra needles, you'll need them. Make sure to clean your needles before and after with alcohol. I use it on power level 3 and go for 16 seconds (2 beep cycles) per follicle, while sorta "stirring" the needle around the hair. Pluck the hair right after. If it was hard to pluck or it bleeds, you didn't kill it. If it doesn't "foam" and sting while you do it you did it wrong. If a clear sheath doesn't come out with the hair, you didn't kill it. Make sure you're going into the follicle and not just zapping the skin right next to the entrance. Make sure your electrolyte mix is right (1/4 tsp salt for like 1 cup water iirc) or it won't turn on when it contacts the follicle and make sure there's no cuts on your hand or it'll hurt. Make sure the holder and your hand are nice and wet but don't get the needle tip wet at the same time. Clean the whole needle holder once a week or if you use it a lot, it gets weird buildup inside. Battery lasts forever, I'm still on the first one but can tell it's dying. The first 5-10 hours were frustrating and I was convinced I got scammed and it was impossible to use/didn't work. Be patient and keep practicing.

I'll warn you, body hair is a bit different. I thought I'd practice on my thigh but that was a waste. Facial hair is crazy deep and the follicles are super big, body hair is like 1mm in and easier to deal with I think, just different, but you don't have the magnification mirror and for you arms, the ability to pull the skin taut with your spare hand which makes it easier to get to the needle in. Totally different thing I've spent very little time on so idk how it'd go (mostly just getting weird mole hairs, knuckle hairs and nipple hairs). Same idea with eyebrow hair (I cleared my unibrow area first). But at the price, give it a shot.

Picrel is what it looks like right after. You might get some scabbing if you overdo it. I try not to "clear cut" areas like this anymore and just thin big areas.

>>35521608
Oh and the tweezers it comes with are trash, get good ones.

Also, keep in mind less than half of hair follicles are active at any given time, and your kill rate won't be 100%. I totally cleared my mustache area twice, with a few spot zapping here and there, and it still looks like this. The first time I cleared it I thought it did nothing because it looked like all the hair came back.

Turn on a good show, podcast, or some music when you do it, try to make it a daily habit, even if its just 15-20 minutes. You're signing yourself up for hundreds of hours of work so be consistent and try to make it fun. It's really satisfying when you zap and pluck a big juicy one, and the pain is sorta that "hurts but in a good way" after a while and it's gross but in line an interesting medical way. Kinda tickles the same part of my brain as those pimple popping videos.

Speaking of pimples, wash the area before and after. I have had several giant zits (infections?) the day after doing it. Avoid that.

>>35521905
You're so real for this. I love you fellow manmoder ygmi

laser is making my hair grow back clear and thinner.

>>35522051
>Kinda tickles the same part of my brain as those pimple popping videos.
You are speaking to my soul im weirdly obsessed with those and the pain part too i used to tweeze my beard and feel that same oww it hurts.. but thats one less hair

>>35518463
by smoking weed and meth and fantasizing about raping them and drinking their blood and killing them

Manmoded sex

based DIY doer, knower, and sharer
I'm not that courageous

>>35522082
laser on my back and shoulders was really awkward but improved my quality of life a lot, worth every cringe wince and bit of pain

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>>35522364
Wait until you see my writeups the science of passing, and on using AliExpress purchases to do at home ffs. Idk how much I should post about that.

Desperate times, desperate measures. I'm tired of suffering and I have the "I can do anything" gene. I WILL be a woman or kill myself trying.

>>35522382
i never grew hair on those places thankfully.

i want to lose my virginity to big manmoder cock

>>35522422
How big

>>35522405
>using AliExpress purchases to do at home ffs
Post all of your thoughts youve ever had pls

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>>35522422

my collagen pills are gigantic it's like a task to take them.

I LOVE BEING MALE. MEN ARE SUPERIOR. WOMEN ARE INFERIOR. I LOVE KILLING AND RAPING MY INFERIORS WITH THE POWER OF MY GORILLA-LIKE MALE BODY AND BIG HARD DRIPPING CAVEMAN COCK. FEEL THE POWER OF TESTOSTERONE. SUCK MY DICK YOU SISSY BITCHES
>>35506867
I HATE YOU!!!
>>35522405
if you're such a genius then why don't you pass yet, pussy?
just admit that you like being a faggotass man now drink my cum, ho

>>35522634
can i see? mine are a little smaller than a vitamin pill

>>35522634
ikr, I tried to take two at once and almost gagged. and apparently you're supposed to take like six a day too :/

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>>35522707
i take 2 a day

you're still not manmoding, hon

>>35522762
is that directed at me? i know i'm a hon.

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>>35522546
Ok so basically, there's been a handful of studies on using CO2 lasers (like, laser engravers) to ablate bone to assist in minimally invasive brain surgery by creating a small, possibly needle sized, hole in the skin and inserting the laser nozzles and zapping bone. I found some off the shelf parts that seemed pretty promising, since that's what they used in some studies.

I was going to get some pig heads from the butcher to practice on to see how it went. Then move onto pitbulls from the shelter to see how recovery/scarring was. I had concerns about the body reabsorbing the microscopic bone fragments too.

I also was looking at studies on reshaping cartilage with heat and electrical current. I considered applying that with a 3d printed mold to handle reshaping/sizing the nose. Could also probably be used to create elf ears.

The main thing holding this back is the brow. The brow ridge is quite thin and behind it is the frontal sinus cavity. There's no real way to accomplish a type 3 brow reduction in a minimally invasive way, at least that I can think of, and that's probably the most important component of FFS. Given how insane all this is, I'm just gonna pay a surgeon.

Fillers, phenol peels, and microneedling are ez to do at home and I'm putting in a lot of work to deage my skin and rebuild collagen.

I've had thoughts about inducing osteoporosis and then recovering in cycles to get shorter and possibly create systemic bone changes but I'm not a fucking doctor I'm an insane manmoding tranny, ignore everything I write

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>>35522799

>>35522799
>Then move onto pitbulls from the shelter to see how recovery/scarring was
I was with you until here ;-; pls dont hurt animals

>>35522799
waow

>>35522799
This needs to go into the tttt hall of fame i love you you crazy bastard but yes save money for surgery

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>>35522758
I imagine deepthroating is easier than these desu

do manmoders on average have big or small ones?

t. 1.9cm haver

>>35522924
depends on the cock

>>35522934
7”
>t. giga bottom

>>35522934
was 17 cm but now its like 15 maybe a little less. hrt is killing it.

>>35522934
a tasteful 10cm

>>35522934
its small and absolutely tiny when not erect. ive never seen a dick smaller than mine

>>35522799
you know they make movies about people like you right

I keep having this schizo moment where when I look at my reflection I see some kind of woman but only when I'm turning my head to face myself and then it's gone

>>35522934
idk if there's any correlation, I'm 7-8" maybe close to 9 on a good day still if I try

>>35522953
same

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at work on sunday a guy walked up asking for help and after i showed him where to go he says
>you're the first trans person i've met and you're very brave
i was full on manmoding and wanted to neck on the spot. fuck fuck i'm mad thinking about it now. it was my stupid hrtitties i just know it. SHIT

what the heck! how do so many have such big things?

>>35522934
mine's like 10cm, I think it's getting smaller. sometimes I like to pretend it's a big clit

>>35523067
hard or soft

>>35523067
>I keep having this schizo moment where when I look at my reflection I see some kind of woman
same but only so briefly before i really see myself again

Its so nice though i love llove love it

>>35523067
>>35523112
i used to have that when i had long hair
i hope i can experience that again
(hopefully i can go beyond and girlmode ideally but baby steps rn)

>>35523099
call it

>too overwhelmingly manly to andromode
it's way past over

>>35523067
>I keep having this schizo moment where when I look at my reflection I see some kind of woman
giwtwm, I have that for my body but not my face :(

I guess my hair is still short though...

Unshaven
Hair greasy
Havent showered in 3 days
rooms a mess
diets fucked
sui thoughts every day

its just going to keep getting worse and worse

>>35523252
i don't remember posting this

>>35523252
>Havent showered in 3 days
Rookie numbers

You should clean your room though, I just got done channeling my mania to make mine really nice, and making my bed that I will die alone in

>>35523512
i know, but its the first time in years. ive gone weeks in the past to the point that my skin burns. ill try to clean but man theres so much shit i dont remember buying just taking up room

unwashed manmoder girlsmell...

>>35523818
my panties smell pretty rad after i sweat in them and they sit in the hamper for a day or two.

>>35524021
i thought i was the only one to smell my undies...

>>35524070
i wanted to see if they smell actually changes over time and it does.

all i see is threads for trannies
where is the theadd for MEN who SLAM estrogen and ASSAULT LESBIANS??? i feel so alone amd i can't relate to any of you b
"im a girl on the inside uwu" bitches. im a monster on the inside

>>35512010
gosh the moon...its so beautiful aaaaa i love it sm

unwashed hairy manmoder pits...

>>35524335
you could probably beat me up.

i feel like i dont smell much since starting hrt, is it because its my smell?
if someone else really tried to take in the smell would i have a smell?

>>35524367
my nuts used to be nasty pungent and now they're kinda pleasant.

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>>35524335
maybe we need a rapehon general: linebacker shoulders, profuse body hair, zero hips, and over 6 ft required to post. bonus points for beard shadow and obesity.

>>35524367
i dont smell anywhere near as bad anymore

>>35524498
I'm 5'5.8" and so skinny I'm borderline underweight. but guess what? i FANTASIZE about ASSAULTING LESBIANS and YES i jave LEFT BRUISES on real DYKES before so fuck all of you i literally spent hours today fantasizing about drinking the blood of beautiful uoung ken and women around me i want go chade yo likr oreu i want to sicnk my teeth into yheir neck anf drink yheyt blood om yhe tramsbefner bidexial decial predator

i dunno why i even still come to /tttt/ it always makes me feel like an ugly retard because it's probably true

>>35524605
ur not ugly stop being stupid

>>35524498
you literally described me except i'm 5 foot 11

>>35524605
you're cute and you have a nice tummy

>>35522940
what is your size?

>>35523088
cuz we're MANmoders

>>35524348
Oh godd... Imagine shoving your face into it and just....

>>35525131
my pits are shaven though, but have a light unwashed musk to them

>>35525159
Fuckk.. I'll lick them clean.. please let me, I love stinky smells...

FOR THE SEXUAL THRILL

>>35525206
of course, lick to your hearts content

i can never be the little spoon and will always be expected to top because of my height. it never even started

>>35525285
Taller little spoon is hot
t. 6'2''

>>35525285
my gf is my height (5'11). also ive little spooned with guys shorter than me and its been ok

>>35525229
Mmmm.. yummy

i’m so tired. the struggle will not be worth it in the end

>>35525401
physically or mentally tired?

does the touchstarved feeling ever go away

>>35525649
:hug:

>>35525729
<3

>>35525649
No, there is nothing you can do but to find someone sweet.
Crying doesn't help, pludhies help a bit (or weighted blanket/body pillow), alcohol only worsens it, bad grindr hookups make you feel disgusting so you forget about it for a while, good food is a good distraction.
I just need someone to hold me ;-;

>>35524427
send smell sample?

>>35526406
Why not just go and lick?

My brain is full of fuck, I cant even shitpost

drank again :(
1/3 of my usual dose of poison but feel even more as a loser rn

>>35526731
please dont drink its bad for you and messes with your hrt

>>35526731
im rn at the end of a 6 months period of weekly/bi weekly blackout drinking and it aged me horribly. its not worth it you will feel(and look) worse everytime you do it