>turn laptop on>battery jumps from 50% to 1% instantly>shuts down>plug it in>fucking management engine firmware starts updating>update completes>battery is fineHELLO GLOWNIGGERS WELCOME TO MY LAPTOPPLEASE DO NOT FUCK UP MY HoI 4 SAVES
>>100126010oh and my webcam light wasnt on but was dimly lit during the firmware update :^)How fucked am I
>>100126010I've literally cooked 3 work DELL laptops to death because they have no proper S3 sleep support. I put them to sleep and shove them in my backpack, they turn themselves back on and then run some windows bullshit until they overheat and shut off. Eventually they quit turning on and the batteries swell up from being repeatedly cooked.I could take my work laptop out of the backpack when i get home, but why should I? It wouldn't cook itself to death if it had properly sleep support.
>>100126010how did it download the update wtf
>>100126068OP is lying as always
>>100126068Through windows update.There's usually an option on the bios to disallow firmare updates by the system.
>>100126068Probably got the payload from the internet. Then it laid dormant for a while. Retarded ass nigga>>100126050Dell is undeniably shit. I don't have the Support ASsist bullshit so it's gotta be some fuckery that initiated the firmware update. Windows update is off too>>100126082You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
>>100126050Of course you are to stupid to learn not get a Dell after the first time.
>>100126128>yeah bossman thanks for the work laptop but can i have a crusty thinkpad from 19shitty9 instead
>>100126128I'm not the one buying Dell, my company is.
>be nsa>finally get discrete payload on target laptop>force the installation by shutting computer down so they have to plug it in>management engine update complete>we're in>target immediately gets on 4chan and calls me a nigger
Holy schizo
>>100126207lol
>>100126266That's actually considered a derogatory phrase, we prefer the term shaman
Schizo moment
>>100126277faggot kys
>>100126288I dont know how. Care to demonstrate?
>>100126010>turn proprietary hardware on>proprietary hardware jumps from 50% to 1% instantly>shuts down>plug it in>fucking proprietary firmware starts updating>update completes>proprietary hardware behaves like it is fineHELLO PROPRIETARY HARDWARE USERS WELCOME TO CORPORATION'S PROPRIETARY HARDWARE/SOFTWARE THAT I DON'T OWNPLEASE DO NOT FUCK UP MY PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE SAVES ON MY PROPRIETARY OS.This is how you sound. How about converting everything to Free as in freedom instead of cuck as in being slave?
>>100126010is this obsession with privacy a coping mechanism for being a lonely incel with no friends? like, are you unable to cope with the fact that no one is thinking about you besides your parents, that you are irrelevant
>>100126010>Intel MEget fed
>>100126343>trooncase>projectingLike philately >>100126333I can smell this post
>>100126010Strong magnets over HDD part and throw it into volcano.
>>100126050You suppose to clean your laptop at least once per 3 months.The inside gets super dusty pretty quick.
>>100126481>work laptop >cleaningI don't give a shit about the device. There could be dead mice in it and I wouldn't care. My company pays for it. I sometimes forget it's in my bag and throw it on the floor with the device in it. These laptops unironically are the rental cars of the office.
>>100126481I'm pretty sure cooking itself to death inside of a sealed backpack because it refused to actually sleep is what killed them, not dust.even if it was dust... see >>100126545
>>100126010>fucking management engine firmware starts updatingNot a thing that has ever happened
>>100126050>I put them to sleepHave you considered NOT doing that?Why not hibernate?Why not poweroff?Like sure, it's not good that sleep doesnt work how you want it to, but you are literally the definition of insanity.If using the sleep feature killed my laptop not once, not twice, but three times i think I'd start doing something differently.
>>100126010Setup. A. Fucking. HARDWARE. Firewall.Stop being so fucking retarded.
>>100126050Not Dell's fault you didn't know how to disable wake timers in Windows. Also entirely Windows' fault for making "wake from sleep to run bullshit updates" default OS behavior, especially without checking to see if it's running on battery.
