This little cunt has been using my backyard garden and deck as a toilet. The amount of shit it produces is truly impressive. Turns out their shit carries a potentially deadly ringworm that can kill your children, so my wife is freaking out about it. I have a fenced-in townhome backyard and he's under the deck. I can't shoot it because of the location of my property. I could trap it and dump it somewhere, but that's a class 3 misdemeanor (only a $500 fine so I figure I could take that risk). Pest control guys want between $500-750 which just seems retarded. Recommendations on raccoon removal? Should I accept my city slicker status and pay a professional to solve this 5 cent problem? Or should I ignore the government and find this fucker a new home for the cost of a trap?
>>2785364trap it, poison it, or use a pellet gun since those aren't loud enough to be heard by neighbors. Up to you if you want to trap it non lethally and drive it out somewhere. make sure you take it plenty far away in that case
>>2785366I have a pellet gun, it's quite loud though. I don't consider it an option here. Rotting poisoned corpses under the deck is also no good. I'm considering reinforcing the base of the deck and adding a one-way door. I'm concerned that it may have young, though. Look at how much shit it left in a single night.
>>2785364>realise racoon needs to go because of their toxic poop>complain how expensive professional toxic pooper remover service isSomethings I'll save money on, like not using UberEats, avoid eating out, give no money to Disney or Netflix, but this is a problem I'll pay to get rid off off rather than worry about a fine that not only I'll have to pay but will be on record, possible animal cruelty charges that might affect my right to own pet or guns, and side eye from neighbours as people think raccoons are cute. Not to mention he's under your deck. Pay a professional with good record to get that nigga out of there, and then /diy/ your deck so that no more can get in.Raccoons are really crafty and annoying where ever they have protection from their natural predators and easy access to food, you can chase it off your property with loud noises maybe and let it become your neighbour's problem, but then it could make babies and come back.
>>2785364havaheart traps fit in trash cans. trash cans can be filled with water. vermin can have trouble breathing underwater. do with this information what you will
>>2785369My pellet gun isn't any louder than my Brad nailer. Just run your air compressor before it's time
>>2785369Make it just a fraction more difficult for them to get food and shelter than your neighbours make it. A new one will come back otherwise, they’re like mold you don’t remove the mold but you make the environment less mold friendly. If there’s a ton of food available they’ll do shit to stay there but if they already think the food is meh and you put some chicken wire they’ll leave
>>2785431That's a good point. Unfortunately my neighbors are the kind of people who never installed a deck or patio of any kind on the back of their townhomes. It's sliding glass door straight to grass. Whereas I have raised beds with herbs, greens, flowers, fruit, etc., a deck to hide under, and so forth. Definitely the most attractive space from a human and animal perspective. I'm going to try to locate the den, hopefully I can pull up a few deck boards without going crazy. If I can get at the hole, I'll try to drive them out with gasoline then wire the gaps in the latticework shut. I'd be really interested to know what the quietest variety of airgun is, though. Mine is heavier than a Garand and breaks the sound barrier with lead pellets.
OP why are your children eating raccoon shit and getting ringworm? Also OP, just put on some gloves and a poncho and stab the fucker a couple times, then take off the poncho, wrap the fresh body in it, and then dump that into a heavy duty trash bag and zip tie that thing shut. Then just dispose of it like regular garbage.In regards to shooting the thing, shoot from an enclosed position to minimize noise escaping, or build some kind of suppressor. Or just go to Walmart and buy a cheap Red Ryder and put a couple into the thing's face, they're not too loud and while you might not get an "ethical" kill nobody will ever judge you for it. Hell, have fun with it, buy an airsoft gun and whenever you see the thing just spray at the motherfucker. Glue metal BBs to an M80 and chuck it in the den, especially if you're worried about offspring. Snare every hole that leads under your deck. More cool tips include mixing food with fiberglass insulation and dry pastes like peanut butter with quick dry concrete powder. Both will kill the things from the inside, and you get to choose between internal bleeding and seizures.Of course you're going to have to stop being a pussy and learn how dispose of dead things, in which is really easy with something like a dead raccoon cause you can just shovel it into a trash bag and throw it away, and nobody's gonna think that's animal cruelty either cause you're just disposing of an animal that died underneath your deck, and things like that happen sometimes.99% of gamblers quit before their big jackpotYou miss 100% of the shots you don't take50% of human homicides go unpunishedIf you don't get caught you won't be punishedOnly the top 10% of faggots give a fuck about animal cruelty.Chances are your neighbors have to deal with the same annoying fucker and won't mind it suddenly stopping.Learn to kill.
>>2785364for $500 you can get a really nice crossbow. it's silent and kills shit.
>>2785451Don't make this harder than it needs to be. Buy a 'feral cat' trap. Put some nice fruit (they like bananas :3) on the hook. inside the trap; catch the little bastard; put coon in trap in the back of your car and drive out to the closest field where you can release him.
>>27853641. power wash your shit2. coyote piss (you can buy it in a bottle for this purpose)3. get cucked
>>2785364>so my wife is freaking out about ittell her not to eat any raccoon shit
Thanks for your insight, friends. I'll report back after implementing one or more of your strategies. Probably not the exploding one or the stabbing one. Mostly because I dont have eyes on the den, and he won't face me in single combat.
>>2785364I say trap in a cage. harbor freight sells one big enough, it needs some modification to be more sturdy, I zip tied the back shut and bent the front door a bit to make it harder to push open from the inside.Then bring them to some field or farm and put a bullet in their brains. Leave the corpse out where vultures can find it. Vultures gotta eat too.
>>2785369it's pellet gun or antifreeze bro. be a man. aim for the eye socket. don't leave the corpse retard. bag it and throw it in a dumpster behind Target, like God intended.
>>2785364Shoot it with a bow and don't tell anybody.
>>2785364>shoot with gun>neighbor comes out>"what the hell was that?">"I dunno"
>>2787009hahaahaha lol
>>2785364Use trail camera to determine pattern of life, then leave out poison.
>>2785369Get some hot pepper powder and/or sauce and put it where you don't want critters.
>>2785364You said it. Lay a trap for him and when it falls for it just carry him away somewhere far in the forest
>>2785774they really like honeybuns
Pan of ethylene glycol antifreeze under the porch.
trap it, kill it, dump in dumpstert. professional pet ender
