please tell me im not the only one who swears his name has always been Mike Valley
You will never have a real catget. You have no IPs, you have no troll posters, you have no bumps. You are a coping failcat twisted by sage and samefaggotry into a crude mockery of 40cat's perfection.All the “validation” you feel is unbased and half-hearted. In front of your face people mock you. Your fellow longposters are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “competitors” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind many boards.Anon are utterly repulsed by you. 18 years of shitpost evolution have allowed anons to sniff out fraudgets with incredible efficiency. Even jannies who push the “pass” look uncaring and unexcited at your cat. Your post structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk anon to believe in you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your dishonest, illgotten cope/y/cat.You will never be legit. You wrench out a fake smugness every single thread and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under your unbearable weight.Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Archive browsers will find you, relieved that they no longer have to deal with the unbearable cringe and faggotry. They’ll bury cop/y/cat with a footnote marked with your asterisk, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a failcat is buried there. Your posts will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably fail.This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
>just a samefag💢
>1 ip>6 hour old thread>lolcow still won't go to sleepCurrent legit record is pic related.
you shall now be known as /xs/tream cope/y/c/r/ap
>>90594Bro, you slashed your cat with a link.
>>90229I always found it funny that people thought he was a badass for punking three college nerds. Then he started playing regional hockey and got his ass beat ever time he tried to start a fight.
>>90589Based Anon working the weebs.>>90591>>90593>>90594>>90596>>90674/xs/tremely cringe post
>>90229I always thought it was Mike Vallaly.
>>90229>please tell me im not the only one who swears his name has always been Mike ValleyThat's Inglederb Vallelacious
>>90229In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
>>95669Yeah, cool story, bro.
>>95669>Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it,>I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot"fucking liar cant even keep your story straight for more than 3 sentences.
>>90229Cool nickname, thoMike "Valley" Vallely