i keep trying to enjoy and be happy with life but i just keep wanting to kill myself, it's like i have zero drive to live, religion isn't helping, prayer has done nothing through the decades, the bible hasn't helped, nothing is helping, i just find all of which i experience as a bad thing and keep wanting to die i can not stop these feelings
>>34869948the advisories of this world use 6 primary tools to sap you of your energies, the water, the air, the food, the medicine, the entertainment, and alternating currents. can you sleep without electricity moving around you for afew nights and see if you gain 5% more energy?
>>34869948nice blognot paranormal
>>34869948/x/ is not your personal blog
>>34869972i have tons of energy it is just i hate life and experiencing things, i feel like it is rude for the universe to force my soul to experience and think when i don't want to at all
>>34869990what a whiny crybaby
>>34869990thats because thinking is the midpoint between consciousness and awareness indicative of confusion, when your mind is no longer confused you will not think this.
Life is a gift. but if you rub shit all over your gift, you won't enjoy it.eliminate your bad habits. simple as.
>>34870013i guess so>>34870016i don't feel confused>>34870026i do not really have bad habits and even extended periods of being on my best behavior still leave me feeling suicidal
Were you molested?
>>34870061nope not at all, had a good childhood, though was suicidal back then too, tried offing myself in kindergarden because i was bored and mad at the teacher, but they stopped me from putting the metal in the outlet, tried hanging myself at 10, forget why, i wasn't upset just didn't enjoy life, been in mental wards, they didn't help, been to churches, did not help, read the bible, nope no help there, meditate, nope no help, pray, nothing, lol
>>34870038>i don't feel confused>i can not stop these feelings>i keep trying>nothing is helpingthe more you try to conform the less youll be in accord.
>>34870084you keep bringing up christinaity, have you considered other religions. You sound like my friend, whom is so annoying with his suicide talk I just ignore him now
>>34870095i do not think i was trying to conform at all anon, what do you mean
>>34870102yes many religions and philosophies, they all just really suck though in my view. Hindu bhuddist taoist confusious plato aristotle the stoics the skeptics descartes, i've read them, they do not appeal to me
>>34870103are you not attempting to conform yourself to a model of joy and happiness well finding only bad experience?
>>34870119i don't think i am actually, i just want to stop constantly wanting to commit suicide for seemingly no reason all the time
>>34870114those religions are only shit on the surface level, read deeper and study lineages
>>34870129>i keep trying to enjoy and be happy with life but i just keep wanting to kill myself>i just find all of which i experience as a bad thing and keep wanting to dietheres that thinking again.
>>34870159yes i know, i know that my mindset and worldview is my creation if thats what you are implying, but i still just can not seem to change my view into one where i enjoy life and want to be alive
>>34869948The modern world is entirely removed from the niche which humans evolved to inhabit. For people who aren't geared to gain a sense of satisfaction from the social world, the modern world has little to offer.
>>34870190No i tried going in the woods living off nature and absolutely hated that, god it was awful just plain terrible, no fun there anon, made everything worse
>>34870173half yes half no. i dont know you well enough for a concise example but lets say hypothetically the last time you drove your car, well making perhaps the 6th turn in your journey, in that exact moment well you were piloting your vehicle, were you thinking about your world views or were you driving your car? you dont have to change your views from negative to joyful you have to stop viewing yourself. breathing exercises are the simplest way, inhale through nose, fill lungs, pause, exhale through mouth, empty lungs (people ive know tend to always skip this part) pause, repeat, do this every time you start to think about your mind set (if you can do it all the time youll generally feel better too, prana good)
>>34870231>the last time you drove your car,i can't drive i legally am not allowed, never wasand yes, i often am thinking about my world view in the middle of doing other things all the time actually, yes
>>34870247>i can't drive i legally am not allowed>mental patient detected
>>34870251yes actually, that is true, and i am considered mentally disabled legally speaking due to severe anger issues and a very lo IQ, i was unable to pass elementary school unironically lol
>too early to explore the stars and spread the word of mankind>too late to explore the world and spread the word of your tribewe're an imperialistic bunch, my dearest selfkind
>>34870267i don't care to do either of those things, i would hate having to do either of those things actually anon>oooo stars LOL>oooo my ebic tribe LOLjust silly nonsense to me it seems
>>34870267>too early to break entropy's rule>too late to help Tesla in its endeavourwe also like to break rules, even if we are the ones who made them in the first place
>>34870247ima reiterate this one more, your thinking is your problem, you keep saying it, but you keep doing it, changing what you think is not the solution, not thinking is.
>>34870291i have done zen no mind meditation, the mindset of no think may work for you, it is not working for me, i need a different solution because that did not, and is not, working for me
>>34870273hate for hate's sake is worthless
>>34870306awareness isent no mind though, its a mind without confusion.
>>34870313then please someone help me make it stopi can't stop>>34870324i am not confused
>>34870333nice 3s >i am not confused>then please someone help me make it stopi can't stopyou are confused.
>>34870346i am not confused, stop saying things that don't make any sense to me if you want me to stop being confused, recognize my mind and soul work differently from yours and my root issue here is not confusion
have felt the same way. Think all of us have at some point or another. Might sound like an odd thing but ask yourself this“What is the entity or thing which says I am suffering?” Observe what you are doing each day, does it hurt you in the long run? Can it be put to a stop without much effort? Ask yourself that, might seem pointless. I tried suicide once and it didn’t work obviously, if you endure there is wisdom in that. We can talk but often I end up making people upset, that is not my intent.
>>34870382If I sit and look at my suffering, my feeling of whatever it might be - it diminishes in its influence. Hard to explain but its power is lessened, and it fades. I assume it’s repetitious, and that it is debilitating - but if you can stay with that and truly see the repetition of it, in that there is intelligence. Our depression is linked with thinking, which is confined to time. Is there something in you, which does not think, and is not confined to time? It’s not a meaningless question, ask yourself.They say know thyself, temet nosce. What is the pattern of your sorrow?
>>34870382Me, I am. Me. The person soul self guy. I hear a lot about people dividing up their soul, ego, inner monolouge, ect, ect. I don't divide it up at all, it's all me in one way or another, it's all at least a representation of the immortal soul if you will.And I don't live a bad life, or one where I don't put in effort, in fact, I must say, I think I really do try my best very often in life, but every time I ask for advice about my saddness, it's>Are you excersising? Proper diet? Proper sleep? Doing your work? Meditation? Prayer? Hydration?Yes, I am, but they never believe me. I AM doing all the shit, I am trying all the shit, and yeah, I think it would help most people, but for some reason it isn't helping me and I don't understand what to do
>>34870408>If I sit and look at my suffering, my feeling of whatever it might be - it diminishes in its influence. Hard to explain but its power is lessened, and it fades.Feels consistently like exactly the opposite for me>Our depression is linked with thinking, which is confined to timeI disagree with this notion, and I have been sad while unconscious before as well, in sad dreams.>Is there something in you, which does not think, and is not confined to time?No, my very soul is a thinker, and it exists in time, I know this because I can recall a time when I was just a soul before birth (long story.) and yes, I felt the passage of time and I did think a lot>They say know thyself, temet nosce. What is the pattern of your sorrow?It seems to come about very randomly actually, often right after waking up in the morning, and whenever I am forced into doing something like having to go to the restroom or go somewhere
Through the years of my life I think what you need is family people for years were looking for friends but friends love for reasons but family can love for no reason try connecting to them I think you will see true happiness in theme you only have to try there nothing to lose
>>34870585i have a great family and hang out with them often but still want to commit suicide on a daily basis
>>34870434I see. It is thought however, and that brings the feeling of sorrow. There is to me no separation between sleep and waking, and they to me are also of time - both begin and end. So time, but that is a small point.The reason I mention time, it comes about randomly you say, in time - there may be a pattern there even if it is seemingly random. You say that you keep wanting to die, go into that my friend, is that a pattern of behavior in you? I say depression linked with thinking because, it is usually the thought, the mental image and that forms a pattern - and it brings the feeling of depression
>>34870610I don't know if it is thought for me. I sometimes legit feel like it's just a feature of my soul removed from personality or ego or thought or time, like i have a self destructive soul or something
>>34869990you have to break through that. that's probably your souls challenge while here. grab life by the horns, man.
>>34870434If you feel consistently that observation won’t help you, what will? To look at it without bad or good, neutrally if you will does indeed provide clarity - but some issues are much heavier than others. I cannot speak to what you may be or have gone through, but I can say that observation in silence is beneficial. Would you say it’s easier, and even comforting to focus on the bad? Or is it something you want to desperately escape? Be honest with yourself, they both are patterns of thought. Ask yourself why always, the question why is very important in all of this.
>>34870627Is it words, is it language? Is it a voice inside of your mind which mocks, taunts or degrades you? Is it an external factor, which is not in your control so to speak?I ask only so you in turn ask yourself, these questions are important.Is it a thought, which says “I want to die” on repeat? I’ve had it too. Observe the thought, without good or bad, it will fall away from youTest it for yourself, you need not take my word.
>>34870357you keep saying thinking isnt confusion, tell me then what is thinking?
>>34870654In my belief, mind and soul are much different - let’s forget the issue of separation for the moment. Soul in my opinion, is not able to be corrupt, only mind is. I can go into this much further if you like, but most do not want to hear it . I would say it is more than relevant for you.
>>34870629>grab life by the horns, man.i feel i have been trying to, but it sometimes feels empty like i don't really believe it will work, i know that's part of the issue, but getting that "let's do this, this is going to be great." mindset, keeping it, maintaining optimism and enthusiasm, it's like my soul sometimes says "No, it isn't optimistic, this life ain't joyful, stop that shit, quit playing yourself, get real, this shit be fucked up dude">>34870637>what will?honestly i would say just altering the physical situation of life, but that isn't really spiritual i guess>Would you say it’s easier, and even comforting to focus on the bad?Eaiser, but not conforting>Or is it something you want to desperately escape?I guess deep down i want to reconcile the actual shitty stuff of life, admit it's real, but still be happy and optimistic so i can actually help dealing with the shit of life, you know?
>>34870680>"No, it isn't optimistic, this life ain't joyful, stop that shit, quit playing yourself, get real, this shit be fucked up dude"maybe you need to go through a dark night of the soul. you're right, life is full of suffering and I think you are spot on on your soul telling you that. don't go into mania when you're trying to be happy, as that is ignoring the negative shit. you have to find a balance between realizing life is complete shit for some people and finding the empathy for yourself to still enjoy it.
>>34870654>Is it a voice inside of your mind which mocks, taunts or degrades you?No, it's more like "Man, I shouldn't have to put up with this, this sucks." type inner talk for me>Is it an external factor, which is not in your control so to speak?this one>Observe the thought, without good or bad, it will fall away from you>Test it for yourself, you need not take my word.Alright I'll try next meditation session of mine, thank you anon, i'll try.>>34870664i don't know but it keeps happening>>34870667Well i don't know, i don't see much difference, soul is bigger then mind but mind is a part of soul, in my view i would say probably
>>34869948>i keep trying to enjoy and be happy with lifeI obviously don't know the details of your life but I would guess that this is the problem. You are trying to live a selfish life. Go dedicate your life to doing good for others.
>>34870680to add to this>>34870699you enjoying life brings other people up. so if life is negative and shit you could be someone who reverses that for people by being happy.
>>34870699>find a balance between realizing life is complete shit for some people and finding the empathy for yourself to still enjoy it.yeah, this basically sums up my issue i think, i needed someone to phrase it for me to get a better view of it
Stop being a victim , live the world , find your strength, try to conform, accept life, try to live a normal life get a job go to gym get a friend have sex , I hope you so it but if you are really doing it don't try to kys badly, don't throw yourself off balconies, you could just wake up in hospital or don't swallow random medicine you could wake up with an hospital bill and you'll life will be even worse, there are some books on how to perform final exit is one , if you really feel like doing it do it with mind so that you find peace in the best way with less suffering for you and your family. Stay strong friend
>>34869948If you lack motivation due to depression, try magnesium. Specifically, magnesium L-threonate. Find a brand that doesn't contain fillers. Such as stearates, stearic acid, and dioxides. If you have a thyroid issue, avoid veggie capsules (hydroxypropylmethylcellulose - HPMC, hypromellose, methylcelluose, or perhaps even plain cellulose). Since vegetarian capsules interfere with proper thyroid function. Stop taking veggie capsules if you notice itching in your thyroid region. This brand will do if you're not a vegetarian or vegan and if your body doesn't have issues with rice (such as bloating or constipation). Magnesium L-threonate is also good for tinnitus.