I live out in the country, deep in the sticks in Georgia. For the past 12 years, every night there is banging on my roof, tapping on my windows, scraping noises on the walls outside. Sometimes huge crashing noises and bangs that make me just about shit myself, the whole house shakes. Sometimes I stay up all night and see these huge beasts moving toward my house through the windows. I've managed to see their faces a few times, but they run lightning fast when I turn on the porch or yard lights or shine a flashlight, faster than Usain bolt. I tried leaving the lights on at night to keep them away but they throw rocks at the lights until they break if I do that. It's horrible because I can barely sleep and I'm too poor to move. Sex with my wife gets interrupted by all the noise, sometimes she gets startled by the banging and farts while we're doing it which kills the mood. I'm worried because it's gotten worse, I think they want to kill me. They seem like they've started following me to work. If I work late I'll go out to my truck in the parking lot and sometimes see one messing around with my car. The muffler was torn off once. One broke a window and I briefly SAW IT with its arm reaching into the car through the broken window as I left work. The fuckers distract me at work by throwing pebbles at the windows if it's dark enough outside. They also started sending me telepathic messages about how they want me to leave, how I look tasty to them and how they eat humans they hate (think this explains Missing 411). I've tried taking pictures but they always come out fucked up in some way because the hairy faggots avoid light and are so quick. Pic related looks like one I saw staring through my window when I went to get a midnight snack and flipped the lights on briefly.
>>33880269Does anyone have any advice? Can Bigfoot be warded off and can I block telepathic communications from them?
Please help this is ruining my life
maybe a youtuber with a speech impediment will make a video about it
>>33880917What does that mean? Have some empathy you monster
Shoot at it until it dies.
Try leaving some kind of offering. Extend the proverbial olive branch. Whip them up some kind of food maybe, something they couldn't get on their own, and use that as a bargaining chip- if you leave me alone, I'll give you more. But if they're capable of communication they're capable of negotiating, then it's just a matter of coming to an agreement.
>>33880269I know the feeling
>>33881057Man, I've tried. They're just too fucking fast. You can't believe how fast these things move. Don't know if the best marksman on earth could hit them.
>>33881210Also it made their telepathic threats worse. They seem like they really want to kill me and eat me.
>>33881218Just put cams up and take some vids for us anon. Expect shills to dismiss it anyway but we would appreciate it.
>>33881250I can try but they're crafty. They fuck with my lights if I keep them on, they avoid light so I can almost never get them in light more than a split second.
>>33881094That's a good idea, thanks. Maybe I should try to send out a telepathic message that the food is for them and I'm trying to make peace? Any idea what food they'd like?
>>33881707Well if they're threatening to eat you, there's a decent chance they're carnivorous or at least omnivorous. So I'd recommend a meat dish, although prepared in a human specific way. Maybe leave out a big bowl of pot roast or pulled pork, something meaty and flavorful but not so overwhelming they take offense. If it's actual bigfoot as in like sasquatch they're probably primates and more likely to be omnivorous, so a wide spread couldn't hurt. I dunno about any specifics they'd like as I have no real bigfoot experience myself. But food as peace offering has tons of precedence even outside of human interaction so it's likely to at least get the point across that you don't want trouble. Just have to hope they're reasonable.
buy some night vision goggles
Bless half the weapons/ammo you have and curse the other half. See which works against them. Set up bear traps in "high traffic" areas around your property with a trail cam as bait. If you happen to be awake and watching, minimize your thinking, heartbeat, and respiration rate/audibility. Draw one in and eliminate it. Be prepared for retaliation. Look up telepathic defense techniques or inquire of anons who know here. Ultimately to defeat such a foe you must equalize your advantage to theirs. They are clever, quick, and tough, but not infallible.
>>33880269Expand your territory by removing all trees and brush around the house, out to whatever distance you need to be more safe.
> Sex with my wife gets interrupted by all the noise, sometimes she gets startled by the banging and farts while we're doing it which kills the moodThis is low T. Get some help Anon
Maybe its a Marcoid
Bottle your wife's sex farts as a peace offering. Bigfoot loves the braps.
>>33882013Hope this fat assed bitch farts in my mouth
>>33881755I've left a smoked pork butt out on my back porch. I mentally sent a message out to the bigfoots that I want peace and have nothing against them. I apologized for shooting at them explaining I was scared. Nothing has happened yet. We'll see.
>>33883750I'm assuming this isn't a larp and you're just mentally ill, but riddle me this: if big foots wanted to fuck with you, what is preventing them from breaking your shack open and just fuck your ass?
>>33883824I'm not crazy, my wife has been there through it all too. I think she's gonna leave me just to get out of this house. I don't pretend to understand their behavior. They seem to be scared of light.
>>33880269I hope you rot in hell if this thread doesn't end in you explaining how to get that sweet sweet squatch pussy
>>33883867And why didn't you move after 12 years of being literally under siege by bloodthirsty cryptids?
>>33883919Like I said, I'm poor
>>33880269uhhhhh that's Chud Bluski, he wants to smoke you out with some space weed
>>33883875This. I want to fuck a female squatch.
>>33883927Bro anyone would rather live in the street rather than in the situation you described. You could just sell the house for cheap and go live in a trailer or something. Your story don't make sense, people would go homeless rather than live like you say you do.
Have you tried offering weed to them? Any time I encounter a hostile in the streets an offering of a few puffs on one of my many vapes secures peace pretty quick.
>>33883951Dude I have a wife and kids. Are you nuts? I'm not moving into a trailer or becoming fucking homeless. My cunt wife will leave me and take the kids.
>>33882013She has IBS. You could have enough T to look like Pat Tillman and it'd make you gag.
>>33883959Okay, so tips for your next larp:1) The situation needs to be physically inescapable, no one with a brain will believe you stay in mortal danger for years because "muh wife", "muh kids" and "muh money problems.2) Make the threat less obvious and more insidious. The "I saw the monster waaah but it's too fast I can shoot it or take a picture" is just a red flag and unrealistic even in the context of cryptids. Take a page from Niggerman's book I'd say, it's about what you cannot see.3) If you do want to make the threat obvious, make the situation be one offs, in nomadic contexts. If you want repeated encounter make them happen over the course of years. But not around your house. Hunting trips, camping trips, basic trail exploring shit. If you have a house with a phone and a walmart two hours away, you're not truly in the boonies.anyway you owe me twenty bucks, do better next time
>>33884086They haven't hurt me or my family yet and the threats haven't been going on that long. Sorry I won't be driven out of my house like a big pussy like you. Some of us have working nutsacks. I'm going to make peace with these things or take a stand against them. If I leave this house my life is over anyway so they can kill me if that's what it's gonna be.
>>33883959SHUT UP AND FUCK THE SASQUATCH
>>33884126lmao ok so the kids living in poverty is a problem but being devoured and raped by bigfeet is finei'm out just heed my writing advice
>>33884126It is your Faustian duty to go out there grab one of those big hairy goddamn bastards and fill em full of cum
>>33884156>>33883944>>33883875TO ALL SUBHUMAN NIGROIDS TELLING ME TO FUCK SASQUATCH: I'M NOT FUCKING THOSE DISGUSTING ANIMALS YOU TWISTED FUCKS. THEY SMELL WORSE THAN ANYTHING YOU COULD IMAGINE. YOU'D PUKE YOUR BRAINS OUT AND PASS OUT IF YOU TRIED TO FUCK ONE. FUCK OFF!!!!!
>>33884159I KNOW YOU'RE A GLOW YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY THREAD. I'M NOT LEAVING MY HOUSE! IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, YOU GLOWING FUCK VERMIN TRYING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH? KYS GLOW BITCH!!
>>33884200SKILL ISSUE WHO DARES WINS FUCK THE SQUATCH YOUR OPTIONS ARE TO GET THE SWUSSY OR WATCH TIUR LIFE TORN APART
>>33881707See if they like Pizza Hut, lots of butter garlic sauce though
dont feed them that is asking for escalation.
>>33884292How do I deescalate? There's food out there so I need to act fast
>>33884292If faggot OP would just go fuck a female Sasquatch there wouldn’t be an issue
>>33884218Oh yes I forgot:4) If you're not great with the internal consistency of your story and the beliefs of your character, an unreliable narrator is best. For example, when I asked why you couldn't leave, it would be better to answer "I feel they would follow me anywhere", or "I know they would be prompted to action if I tried". You play on inner certainty which can't be verified and the possibility you might be nuts, rather than showing to be entirely sane of mind but then contradicting yourself with legitimately insane behavior like prioritizing a house over freedom from horrible monsters.
>>33884303probably take it back in. unless they are out there eating it already
>>33884306have you fucked a female sasquatch yet? don't lie
>>33884303I have heard that if you feed them once, you must continue or they go bezerk.
>>33884339If I take it back I have no plan anymore, how do I make them leave me alone? I just want a normal life.
>>33884200Maybe try to make peace with them by offering them essential oils and a bath? See if you can get them to stop smelling so bad. Have a telepathic conversation about a bubble bath, bathbombs, weed, essential oils, the whole deal. Maybe they like massage? I think you will need an extra big bath for them though so maybe a livestock feeder thing over a fire to heat it up? Tell them you want to create a Sasquatch spa. See how they respond? That's what I'd do.
Sounds like my exact experience of being strung out on meth
>>33884312I will NOT leave my house you CIA FAGGOT
Ask the sasquatch what they like. Tell them there's a guy in Ontario that wants to see them and will give them whatever they want if I can get a video interview with one that I can post on imageboards and video upload sites later.
>>33884303Post a pic of the food outside or fake and gay
OP ignoring all the good suggestions and just responding to the taunts.Stupid LARP thread.
>>33883982I don't think you understand. If you're not turned on by your wife's braps, you are low T. Possibly gay as well.What might be happening is that Bigfoot is able to smell your low testosterone and is mistaking you for a female, so it wants to bone. I would get on TRT now.
The food didn't work. One of them threw it at my window. They told me the only offering that's acceptable is if I cook my wife's breasts and leave them out for them. They promise to leave me alone then. I don't know what to do.
>>33880269>Sex with my wife gets interrupted by all the noise, sometimes she gets startled by the banging and fartsThank you
>>33884439I tried the best suggestion yet you fag, and it backfired
>when a 2k sub scrub takes this thread and puts this on youtube
>>33884636When are you going to use essential oils on them?Try sage essential oil or any other essential oils you have.They will either love it and become friends of be banished by it.
>>33884645Why do you think that'll work
>>33884667Because who would kill someone that offers them a free spa treatment? That would be so silly.I would be out there charming these Sasquatches continually, making jokes with them, suggesting ways we could have fun, talking philosophy, radiating love, creating a positive atmosphere, etc.They'd either be completely repelled by it (wouldn't matter if they were humans, astral entities, or Sasquatches; the mental atmosphere is real and repels or attracts like-minds into an area.)Try to understand the Sasquatches, what motives them, what they might like aside from feeding on fear, etc.There's got to be some way to form a positive relationship with them and become the Sasquatch king.If they keep being nasty and belligerent try to be understanding and loving but light-hearted. Don't take their threats seriously, make fun out of it all. Just be relentlessly positive.Ask them maybe if they want to party? Maybe they like raves or tea? Perhaps they like stories?Just find out what they that isn't just fear-mongering. We must befriend them.
>>33884365would you feed any other wild animal if you wanted it to go away? the only plan is to gtfo.
>>33884643>when a moron posts a thumbnail
>>33880269What? A clan of Bigfeet are stalking you? This is clearly some Skinwalker clan that's out to get you. You're fucked. They're never going to leave you alone until you're dead.
Fell asleep and had a dream. I met the bigfoots gangstalking me in what I think was the astral plane. For the first time ever I felt sorry for them. They told me they hate us because we drove them into a marginal existence. They haven't been able to go through the civilizing trajectory of biological evolution we have because we've forced them into the woods, so they're trapped being ugly and bestial. They want to be with our beautiful hairless women. This is why they abduct us and eat us. It's the same psychology of serial killers who eat people they're attracted to. They want my wife. That's what this is all about. I told her we need to sell the house and she just screamed at me like a crazy bitch. Feels like I'm stuck.
>>33880269Buy a trail cam and post footage
>>33880269>Gangstalked>Bigfoot>Gang... plural>Foot.... singularFuck off with that zoomer faggotry. May as well show your tits and a timestamp at this point you mentally impotent attention where.
>>33886289There's more than one. I called them bigfoots in my last post. Calm down bitch.
>>33880269>sometimes she gets startled by the banging and farts while we're doing itKEK My sides don't even care if this is a larp or not that line holy shit
>>33886602I wish it was a larp. My marriage is probably ending over this. Having your wife release nuclear-grade putrid corpse farts from her IBS colon on your sweaty balls isn't fun. I can't get the smell out.
I don't know about the Bigfoot op, but my suggestion for your wife's farts is maybe having her wear a buttplug
GOT A PIC OF ONE OF THE FUCKERS! Heard smashing downstairs, ran like fuck with my camera and threw the lights on just in time
>>33880281>>33880894i encountered a sasquatch last year in the northern cascades while hiking alone.i took a video of it.then after that i was overcome with dread so i ran and somehow got lost 3 miles up this mountain for over an hour, slipping and sliding down this steep grade, holding on to branches and bushes.And while i was lost there was about a dozen tree knocks in total, following me from the left and right.anyways, i sat down finally and asked in my mind “sasquatch, can you help me find the trail? i’m lost and just want to go to back to camp” i had nothing to lose, i just thought that and sent it away and kept walking.so as i’m heading down, holding on to branches because of the steepness of the slope, and i hear this massive ROAR from over my right shoulder.it reverberated my entire chest and body and was so terrifying, i instinctively turned left to get away from the noise.i was too scared to even look back, it sounded like a fucking lion, and i’m heading left now instead of down.about 100 yards later i reach a small cliff and find the trail.As i’m walking down the trail, i’m looking over to the right where i was lost, and the mountain gave way to huge steep gravely and loose shale cliffs. if i had continued even another 100 yards, i would’ve easily slipped and fallen to my death or serious injury.so whatever made that roar that forced me to turn left at that exact moment saved my life.I feel incredibly humbled and lucky to have had this experience. i got a video of it, it showed itself to me, because right before the encounter i was singing songs about sasquatch and how i want to see one. These things are real, and they are more than animals.
>>33887196here’s the video https://streamable.com/eyxl61logically, i should’ve walked up to it and gotten closer, but i can’t explain the level of fear that washed over me when it moved its arm. this thing was ducking massive. about 70 yards away and it’s still huge.
>>33887207this shit literally changed my life.a sasquatch essentially saved my life.like what the fuck am i supposed to do with that? i HAVE to share my story with other people, but it’s fucked because nobody believes you or makes jokes about it.i’m glad it happened though. looking back it was the most exciting event of my life.
>>33887207Why doesn't it move?
>>33887217it does. watch it’s right arm drop at the very end.slow the video down or rewind if you need to, but you can clearly see the movement of its right arm
>>33887225How can i get them to leave me alone
i can tell you exactly where it happened.right off of Lake Diablo in the northern cascades
>>33887234i don’t know man.maybe you just have to go out and gave them. and tell them exactly how you feel.through your mind or however you want to do it.
>>33887238>maybe you just have to go out and face them.***face to face. tell them to stop messing with your property
>>33880269are you sure they want to kill you? maybe you're the only human they feel confident enough getting close to and watching because you haven't tried to hurt them
>>33880269I think you have a loup garou problem instead
>>33886856You’re gonna get divorced because Bigfoot turned your wife into a brapqueen?At least post her ass so I can fap to the thought of her farting on me.
How to cope with a bigfoot bully, bros?
>>33880269So, a big ass hairy ape is for some reason:>telepathic>too fast for its size so much that bullets cannot reach it>stalking a guy in the woods bc he literally has nothing better to doanyone care to explain? Especially the telepathy part
> dude they run faster than the speed of light> i just cant make photos or video of themthen why dont you make a video of them banging at your door you numbnutyoud get rich on them tubes
>>33880269>I haven't got any video evidence because... I just don't
>>33887588sounds like jesus walking over water to mewhat is it with christcucks believeing the most insane stories but the telepathic bullet dodging matric bigfoot is made up or what
>>33887216OK here is an oddball follow up question did you see any lights like orbs durring the encounter is there anything paranormal happening to you know like poltergeist activity also you should make a thread.
>>33887608I lisntned to a podcast where they said texts where found in Japan that said Jesus got Ninja training there also there is a town in Japan that is claimed to be Jesus Grave. Was Jesus a Weeb?https://unusualplaces.org/the-tomb-of-christ-in-japan/
>>33887599I posted a photo of one's face that was fucking around next to my kitchen outside last night
>>33887588Their hearing is a lot better than ours i think, they react to the sound from my gun faster than a human could and can dodge fast
>>33880269>sex with my wife gets interruptedGET OUT NORMIE REEEEEEEEE
OP sitrep: After I took the photo last night there wasn't a lot of activity except one thing. I was startled awake by a huge crash sound on the roof right over my bedroom at about 4:15am. Pretty sure a fucking bigfoot jumped on top of the roof. Heard some cracking noises after that and this morning found broken roof tiles outside. Fucking bigfoot was breaking tiles off of my roof. Because of the dream I had I'm starting to wonder if my best option is to let the bigfoots have my wife. It might be the only way to get peace and I'm sick of her and her disgusting nuclear farts anyway. I'm thinking a good idea might be to have a family "camp out" in the backyard. Then when everyone is asleep I'll quietly get up and take the kids inside and go to bed. I'll telepathically signal to the bigfoots that my wife is there and they can have her as long as they keep their promise and leave me and my kids alone after.
>>33889631You should try to fuck Bigfoot
>>33880269>be born happy hunter gatherer, name Bigfoot>Bigfoot wise elder, teach young to hunt>tribe kicks out Bigfoot, stealing life force they say>Bigfoot gathering alone, no women, Bigfoot sad but watch over tribe from distance>Bigfoot have to scare tribe back to good nomad paths, new leader stupid, Bigfoot's son's son's daughter's son's daughter's son's son's, but stupid! wants to settle tribe>scaring failed, tribe settled, they no gather or hunt, they agroculture now>not Bigfoot's tribe anymore, Bigfoot leave, travel far>other tribes agroculture too, even domesticate, Bigfoot sad and give up, try settled life>Bigfoot feels getting weak and fat, don't like village life, but women good, goat good too>Bigfoot beaten and thrown out of village by women's men, they monogamy now>men abondon the path of stone, they worship fire and metal now>new ways of men evil>Bigfoot angry, steal the secret of fire and metal, teach it to another village>teach them to fight, the old ways fight and hunt>bad village where men have only one wife burnt, men of other villages hunted too, many men and many villages>one was Bigfoot's old tribe, Bigfoot sad>Bigfoot even more sad when new friends not fuck women but men! >blame agroculture, metal and fire, going to ask stone fathers for forgivness
There's an organization called the Hunters with a capital H that specializes in killing/relocating cryptids and monsters that have become a threat to humans so you may want to contact them.
>>33889665My wife can fuck bigfoots when I leave her to be taken by them. Hopefully that'll appease you evil freaks. Her farts smell similar to bigfoot.
>>33889706Is this a joke or you're serious? Because I looked this up hoping I might have a better fix now and I couldn't find anything.
>>33881144This a sad feeling>Sex with my wife gets interrupted by all the noise, sometimes she gets startled by the banging and farts
>>33889289i’ve had paranormal experiences following me since a child.my very first memory was being in a circular metal room with a red light and i’m standing in the middle of this stage, probably 4 years old naked with people observing me from the shadows.that’s my first ever memory.ive had abduction dreams, was in GATE, over a dozen UFO encounters and multiple videos of orbs.something is either wrong with me or i’m a hybrid or some shit? idk either way it expands your consciousness to understand that there is more to reality than just the physical dimension.>>33887588if you believe that sasquatch are just big apes, like a deer or a bear, simple animals, then yes you are still operating in the lowest frequency of reality.frankly, if you are still unaware of the supernatural world in 2023, you’re kinda a retard
>>33887242it's their property. we the invaders.
>>33890710well, humans have a right to live as well.this planet is for US to live and prosper in. surely you can reason with these beings. or just install high powered floodlight 360 degrees around your house with cameras set up.they see the IR and will avoid getting caught on camera
I'm at work now. A fucking bigfoot is outside throwing pebbles at the window because now it's dark enough for the hairy bitch to get away with it. My coworkers asked me wtf is with all the noise, they're claiming I'm kicking the underside of the table, threatening to get me written up. I almost chimped out at them in the middle of work. Just can't believe this shit. My life has been ruined by a crytid, a fucking woodape. I've been buckbroken by bigfoot. FUCK ALL BIGFOOTS. FUCK THEM TO HELL!!
poor chap never learnt how to swim ayetry contacting chud bluski he smokes ÄRÆ ÃHŸWRÆ weed with bigfoot a word from him and those big lads will be gone lickety-split ya hear
kinda sad /x/ is just stupid teenagers now there’s more actual discussion about /x/ topics on /pol/ than there is here
>>33892362Why are you crying about this in a thread about bigfoot you queer?
>>33892459because i wanted to learn more about it
>>33892663About gangstalking by bigfoot?
>>33893049yes.there have been many reports of being “tagged” by sasquatch so if you have 1 encounter, you will have more during your lifetime.It’s like they know that you know, so they show up more often.super strange
bigfoots are like gnomes, they like to smoke tobacco, leave a nice pipe and a bag (not plastic) of tobacco out for them as a peace offering. thats if leaving them food or your wife doesn't work
>>33890430I fucking knew it its like a little know thing except to the most hardcore fortean reserchers that this shit over laps with each other bigfoot hunters if pressed will admit they see a lots of weird shit unrelated to bigfoot over have paranormal experinces but they are so locked into the ape in the woods theory they don't like to admit to other paranormal high stragness that fits into that category like an overlap with both ufos and poltergeist activity and weird synchronicity. BTW also a gate fag also see lots of ufos.
>>33893199i was in GATE and fit alot of the things on that list, blue eyes, ect.but i have never really had a paranormal experience unfortunately, i do believe though. I wonder why
>>33893199yeah dude it’s weird isn’t it.it’s like there is a large portion of humanity that is unaware of different dimensions and/or spiritual life forms, whatever you want to call them.Frankly with the internet, i don’t know how EVERYONE isn’t already aware of high strangeness. humans from all over the world are able to share stories of personal experiences of “high strangeness”. Before i saw the sasquatch, i was literally singing a song about how cool it would be to meet one.The amount of “coincidences” that just so happened to occur during that day on the mountain is silly to dismiss as pure chance.My consciousness wanted it, and it happened. When i got lost, i asked the sasquatch for help. it saved me at the very last moment.it’s been absolutely life changing because it gave me unrefutable proof of the quantum/high strangeness/supernatural.my opinion on why the mass of humanity is kept from this knowledge is because someone or something doesn’t want the masses of humanity to know about it. Keeping the masses in the dark about nearly everything outside of a tiny sliver of reality makes us easier to control i suppose.
>>33880269First let's try to rule out what they are.If its a sasquatch, its just surveying you as you are most likely in his territory. These apes are usually docile and travel on their own or in small but spread out packs. They smell like literal swamp ass and are known to attack small animals like dogs mostly for consumption. Depending where you live, they might not even eat meat. If you can catch a glimpse of their jaw you can easily tell if they're carnivores or not. These things are easy to scare and will only attack if threatened or you have done something to them in the past.If its a spirit, as in you have paranormal experiences of any kind, learn about the land you're on and seek out a tribesmen for help because if these kind of spirits are around, they are most likely connected to some sort of tribe which contracted these spirits to protect them from either other bad spirits or enemies of their clan.If its literal ape man(feral human), get a shotgun, shoot them in the face and call the authorities. These things are the reason why people go missing in national forests and are responsible for the missing 411 which you mentioned. They're smart, strong, fast and extremely dangerous. Do not even attempt to confront them and if they see you are putting up a fight they'll eventually leave but DO NOT make it easy for them to enter your home. Lock everything and set up alarm systems.
>>33894892How do I tell if it's a feral human?
Once watched this video on youtube where a guy explained how he got raped by a female sasquatch. It happened when he was walking the woods alone. Guy went to tears when he talked about it. Pretty real and scary.
>>33884303If they eat the food after midnight, they will turn into gremlins, then all hope is lost…
>>33891546Are your mad enough to fart uncontrollably?
Having trouble convincing my wife to camp out in the backyard.
>>33897992>>33889631>hm yes I will abandon my wife who is the mother of my children to be tormented raped and eaten by bush demons I believed the LARP up until this point lol
>>33883982Ask me how I know your wife is an absolute hog
>>33883750Lmao the truth comes out, they'll probably forgive u tho
>>33898092Don't think you understand. I hate her. She's a bitch and her farts smell like a corpse. I only put up with her shit because she'd take the kids. I'm thinking the bigfoots are giving me an out.
>>33896565Please tell me you're not talking about Peter Caine lol.
>>33899055How do I contact him? I think he can negotiate with the bigfoots for me.
>>33883824They're banned from conspicuous interference by higher authorities, when they leave a trace of their existence temporal sanitation agents revert their actions and punish the offending individuals usually quite brutally. Eating folks isn't totally banned, though. It just has to be a clean kill.
>>33899150a shrine with nugs of dank weed should do the trick
>>33899055its ok chud blusky
>>33899212>higher authoritiesWho are the higher authorities? Anunnaki/Elohim? I will never forget that story in the Hunt for the Skinwalker book that talks about a witness who had a UFO encounter on his farm and walked over to the landed craft only to be greeted by two strange-looking blonde humanoid men and a bigfoot just lurking in the corner nearby. When the witness notices the bigfoot he feels afraid, but the two blonde men reassure him that the bigfoot is under their control and demonstrate this by ordering it to go pick up some box object sitting nearby. Not sure what the implications are, but I always think of that story now in relation to bigfoot.
>>33880269urinate in your yard, mark your territory. Get armed. I heard they dont like the smell of garlic too
>>33896565oh no, how horrible
I lured my wife outside by putting a cake on the table in the backyard, fat whore can't resist. I'm sending as many telepathic messages as I can to the bigfoots that their offering is there and they need to get it quickly. I'm watching the treeline with binoculars.
>>33884218>Fuck you, I have bills to pay
>>33884374Very good citizen.Pay your bills and be a good family man. Bigfoot wants to fuck your butt but your family comes first. You should submit to your bigfoot lover and have bigfoot butt sex. You should make cuck videos with your wife and bigfoot plowing your wife. Real kinky shit.
>>33887098Next time tell bigfoot to "Fuck off, you giant cock" then take your dick out and spin it around aggressively, Dominance display scares the bigfoot.
>>33896565I wonder if a female bigfoot pussy is about the same size and a human woman pussy? I wonder if bigfoot females are size queens? I wonder if male bigfoots are insecure about dick size? I wonder if bigfoots also have "Chads" ,"Tyrone's", and "Stacie's"?
>>33899890>I wonder if bigfoots also have "Chads"https://www.dreadcentral.com/news/116992/woman-says-she-was-seduced-by-bigfoots-huge-erection/>Woman Says She Was Seduced by Bigfoot’s ‘Huge Erection’
>>33899977All women are the same. Big cock lovers.
>>33899825>You should make cuck videos with your wife and bigfoot plowing your wife. Real kinky shit.How much money would I make on this?
>>33900082Knowing how weird degenerates are probably like $1m in about 24 hours.
record the nuclear fucking farts
>>33900474I recorded one a long time ago: https://youtube.com/watch?v=EZlYNiVhgLI
>>33900515She lets one of those fly every time a bigfoot smashes the house when we're doing it. It's terrible. Almost puked a few times.
>>33899055It's ok Chud Blusky
Number 15Burger King Bigfoot Lettuce
>>33899890>your brain on coom
>>33880269put up trail cams around your house, make it so that Bigfoot is being Observed at all times, either he'll leave you alone, or you'll have the photographic proof you need to get the Game Wardens to go after the fucker
>>33900802I put up a picture of one of them itt and no one cared.
>>33881210draw a tunel on the wall, maybe you will catch them
>>33900515>>33900531Is that really her? Good lord that sounds terrible.>>33901248Anon i don't know what to tell you about your squatch problem, but have you ever gotten your wife to drink lemon water? Lemon juice kills the bad bacteria in your gut and leaves the good bacteria behind. It even cures food poisoning. You don't even have to spend the money on real lemons. The bottled stuff works just fine and a bonus with that is that it also contains lemon oil that comes from the rind. It's a potent cure for many things and it's so concentrated that you get the equivalent of 20 lemons for $3 or less. I drink it every day.
>>33894892wtf is feral humans
OP I feel for you and your not alone. I have the same problem as you but it's the Lock Ness Monster.
>>33880269>>33880894>>33881707Keep verbally telling them you mean them no harm. Tell them you can't harm them. Them you find them interesting and wish for peaceful coexist. Verbalize it. When you see them throwing stuff, walk out on the porch and yell those words and really mean them. Say them without fear. If they can communicate without our minds, they can read our emotions and intentions.
>>33887574I can't wait to post this later and no one knows what's its about kek kek kek.
>>33901610Interesting, you're from Scotland? How do you deal with it? I think these hidden creatures target only certain people so no one believes us. Makes it easier to get away with the torture of innocent humans and never suffer consequences.
>>33901415Yeah it's her. You can't imagine the smell. I'll tell her about the lemon stuff if I can't manage to get her taken away by the bigfoots.
>>33893303>>33893318 >>33894892I'm a GATE child and over the past few years I've had bigfoot related nigtmares and have been looking into this stuff more and more. I used to not believe but now I do.In fact, last night I had this terrible dream about them being able to summon this huge swarm of themselves, teleporting into the woods, a huge army like an ape troupe that plowed through a group of hunters with trucks and guns. Some of the bigfoots even had old human clothes on which was weird. But the army was the most unbeatable thing I've ever seen. Not a weapon or tool among them, just ripping humans and trucks apart as an organized group. I've been definitely bumping these threads all over the site for the past few years. The dreams are getting more precise and match both things posted online and people's descriptions...
>>33899315It feels a lot like genetic engineering different species of humans to do different things.
Alright OP, I’ve ruminated on your situation for some time and come up with a plan. You need to integrate yourself into their society. You need to surrender yourself to them and be wed to a Squatch woman.
>>33901248that fuzzy pic of two white orbs? thats because nobody knows what that is. >not being sneaky to kill them>not leaving poisoned food in the woods>not digging pits with punji sticks>not making trip wires with shotgun shells or homemade bombs>not adopting a ton of unwanted shitbulls and tying them up around your property and recording what happens with mutiple trail cams to get videos and pics that arent fuzzy bullshit nobody can identifycome on, step it up>not using hog trapping and hunting techniquesthis is how I know youre not a real Georgian. they would be thrilled this is happening and had a fucking ball doing any of these things. >doesnt say anything about if they messed with chickens or ducks he would surely own, but instead pretends to latch onto some gay peace story after they said they eat humans.op is a faggot. case dismissed.
>>33901964don't do thisyou won't win this fightthey are not normal animals
>>33880269They might be Jinn. Convey to them the power of Allāh and recite Ayatul Kursi
>>33880269>Sex with my wife gets interrupted by all the noise, sometimes she gets startled by the banging and farts while we're doing it which kills the mood. This killed the story for me
>>33901964The "orbs" are the eyes of a bigfoot.Like the other guy said these aren't normal animals. You'd piss yourself dealing with them. They can read my thoughts, no shitty trap is stopping them.
>>33902153get better pictures or gtfo larping faggot. end of story.
OP, get some food and inject it with Holy Water and a shit ton of rat poison. Maybe do it with some type of fruit mixture so it mixes in with the juice. I’m not joking.>>33892176Kek, based, canon.
>>33902351Suck my brap encrusted nutsack glowcunt I've given more with that pic than 99.9999% of /x/ ever has.
OP has huffed so many farts he now hallucinates about apes threatening him telepathically.
>>33902441Bigfoot is known to be telepathic. It's science.
>>33880269wtf how loud are these farts
>>33884719Only real anon in this thread
>>33880269Looks like you already took some dogshit advice and left them an offering so be prepared to either live in a perpetual extortion ring or deal with the consequences of (what they will view) as you going back on a deal.The Anon who suggested verbalizing your right to live at peace was on the right track. While there is no universally-accepted best practice to get them to leave you alone, it has been well-documented that the worst methods are trying to placate them through offerings, and violence. People will argue about whether or not they're animals, a sub-strain of humanity, nephilim, fairies, etc. but that's not really important. They do seem to operate on a contractual basis similar to demons or fairies, so I would agree that formalizing your intentions is a good idea. After that, put up motion-activated lights outside. Their entire modus operandi is "avoid risk," so they will stay away from the lights. Based on the level of activity you're describing, be prepared to replace the lights; they will most likely start throwing shit at them once they realize you're not a devotee who will offer them food.
>>33880269>>33904679I would also highly recommend prayer and a connection with Jesus Christ; I'll probably get shit on for saying so but these things are paranormal entities and as such will respect His sovereignty. I live about 30mins west of Atlanta, if all else fails I'll get rid of them myself.
>>33880269>>33904727Also, not sure what you do for work but if your wife is alone for long periods of time, ask her what (if anything) takes place. They are generally quiet around women but start acting up when "the man of the house" is home. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
>>33904772Have you stopped bigfoot attacks before
>>33900025Is this true average bros? I don't feel so good.
Weaponize your wife’s braps and utilize them for chemical warfare
hehe, followed by BIG monke
>>33880269Imagine how pissed we feel when we need to see your eye sore of a house and have to hear you getting pegged by your wife every night
>>33896565Is this the one where she would lick his hands and feet raw so he couldn't run away?
>>33889631Buy them a sex doll and leave it near your place, bet they will leave pretty soon
>>33908174Dont expect them to reyurn it to you tho, its a "wife offering"
>>33906688Women don't know what they want.They might be impressed by a big penis, but soon find out it hurts or it's uncomfortable or that they are disgusted with themselves.So if you are average it's more than okay, and if the woman you have sex with does not respect your member she doesn't respect herself and you can berate and insult her body as well since she decided to do so first.Anyways, stay with a woman that loves you by how big is your heart, not your cock.
>>33882026Is that a sub-species of garloid?
>>33887574Kek’d and saved. Thank you anon
>>33908022How dare you libel me, the only pegging happening is my wife's hole by my brap covered Chad cock. I know you bigfags are just jealous you can't get the sweet, sweet hairless woman pussy and are stuck with horrible monster females who smell.
>>33908361What's a garloid
>>33904679Seconding this>>33901964Do all of this if they wont leave you alone, east coast bigfoot is a different beast than the ones we have in the PNW>>33902021You are a low test faggot, sasquatch already lost the moment the first hunters stepped foot onto north america 100,000 years ago. The only time in history it looked good for them was a brief time from 1500-1800 when plagues ripped through the native americans, allowing sasquatch to proliferate (hence all the giant skeletons found in the settler age) The american settlement and expansion has only confirmed that the age of men has finally come and is here to stay.
>>33904679>>33904727>>33904772Sounds like you have experience with them. Got any stories to share?
>>33910928Nothing too dramatic or exciting due to the fact that I always knew there was something in the woods I grew up in and I verbalized my presence/"right to life" from a very young age. They never messed with me specifically but did ruin an above-ground pool by leaning or sitting it. One day we came outside and a side of it was crushed and bulging out as if a tree had fallen on it but that obviously wasn't the case. They would often rattle doorknobs, I think they do this just to show that they can, almost like playing chicken. Lots of little incidents like this but I only saw one once and was only "run off" once.
>>33906166No. I'm not aware of anyone stopping them by means other than offerings but in my opinion that's not really a solution. But I'm confident that I could do it.
>>33908333I have a huge big white cock but am 30 year old incel.Anyways should I worry now that no woman will ever be able to handle my bwc?
I have a doctorate in Cryptozoology and a masters in Bovine Scatology. Your case seems interesting to me, so I shall help you end this suffering. First thing is first. The behaviour of these cryptids are not your typical Sasquatch. Most Sasquatch operate alone and do not move in in groups. They have separate roles. The persistence and lack of fear also far more behavioural signs that this is not a Sasquatch. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind. First of all, have you tried to have sexual intercourse with it yet? In all likelihood these are not cryptids at all and are probably Indian men who have been attracted to the smell of your wife's farts. They are not man enough to challenge you. Put some curry out for them to befriend them and lure them into a trap.
I have to admit, I was reading this last night at 2am and woke my wife up laughing so hard at the casually inserted fact about the farts, as if that had any bearing on this situation at all. The memes must flow over this larp. MORE MEMES
>>33911708Any chance you can come over and scare the bigfoots away with your monster cock?
>>33912074Oi niggerYou have to go back
OP, at least you haven't been gangraped by bigfoot. It could be worse.
>>33912136I'm in Canada and not vaccinated so it would likely be a tremendous challenge to come over if you're in America.Maybe I could challenge the bigfoots telling them I can please their ladies bigfeet better than they ever could.
>>33880269You're hitting levels of autism that shouldn't even be possible.
>>33912590Good idea. If you can make it over here and get rid of them I'll have my wife fart on your dick and balls as a reward.
My wife has irritable bowel how about we assemble a team and have brapfest 2023 at op’s house
>>33880269Pic is not Bigfoot it’s a negro with a backwards baseball hat
>>33901743Reading this is giving vietnam type flash backs to hearing tests in windowless rooms and all the bigfoot tyoe dreams. One not to long ago had an army of them as well, I cant go into the woods in my dream without keeping my head on a swivel.
>>33880269Call the FBI. We have a Cryptid Elimination Team (Even higher tier than the Hostage Rescue Team) that gets rid of these animals whenever they find then. They're damn good at their job.
>>33912788I'm worried that'll make the bigfoots go wild and tear my house down. They really seem to want a piece of human braphog ass.
>>33912822Anyone have an idea about what the bigfoots want with GATE kids?
>>33912044>First of all, have you tried to have sexual intercourse with it yet?No, they smell too bad to fuck.
>>33901743>>33912822What the hell is GATE?
>>33913080Bros, I love braphogs... am I a Bigfoot?
>>33914864Gifted and talented education
>>33914924Are you hairy? Maybe you're partly descended from a bigfoot-human crossbreeding event.
GIVE THEM ALCOHOL AND DRUGS
>>33880269Bigfoots are supposedly very playful
>>33880269Extra fake and extra gay even for /x/
>>33887574Startled and farting
>>33916232Bigfoots really do harass me and make my wife fart in panic. Cope over it fag.
>>33892280Ty Dr Chud Bluski.
>>33899055it's okay. Chud Bluski.
>>33880269kek it's the coomer image upside down. nice try, faggot.
>>33916854Lol no it isn't. Wtf are you talking about? And the OP pic isn't mine as I said in the OP. But later I did get a picture of one of the bigfoots harassing me and posted it in the thread.
>>33911252>But I'm confident that I could do it.Good luck we are counting on you. Only you can defeat Homosexual Bigfoot on its quest of having butt sex with you while your wife touches herself with a massive vibrator. That's Hot.
>>33917765We told you all ready. Just submit to bigfoot and post that shit on OnlyFans. You can make a fuck ton of money doing Homosexual butt sex with bigfoot while your wife watches. Big money in weird porn.
>>33916697>my wife fart in panic.Classic defensive move but is it possible the bigfoot is turned on by the smell of your wife farts? Does she eat foods that attract Bigfoot? I heard that bigfoot's like southern food such as Chicken & Waffles.
>>33882028This top kek
>>33889631Best option so far
Sign those bastards up for the Georgia football team. You'll grow rich as their agent, dumbass. Derp.
>>33912822>hearing tests in windowless roomswhat did he mean by this?
>>33917900>but is it possible the bigfoot is turned on by the smell of your wife fartsYes
>>33917900dubs means its true
>>33880269Seems fake and gay but I will bite, if I were in your place I would try to make peace with them first like with some kind of offering if that does not work then that is were the fun begins, ignore everything written in the geneva convention, your enemy is not human and therefore does not have the privilage of being treated as such, I would not stop until those fuckers were off my land even if I need to turn it into a polluted wasteland, first burn tires and various petro chemicals in your land the chemical smell alone is usually enough to deterr most animals, if that does not work get bleach, ammonia, sulphur dust and potash, mix powders to make toxic smoke producing grenades, it is advisable that you get some kind of gas mask too, mix ammonia and bleach in a gas proof container and throw it at them releasing the mustard gas inside, get motor oil mix with some water and spray it in their habitat this alone is enough to kill all the small vegetation, get barbed wire and make trenches arround your house, plant artisanal gunpowder shells connected to wires in the limits of your perimeter so you can activate the explosives from home if needed and for a cherry on top get various herbicides and spray them in the places they usually take refuge in, if you want to win you have take their actions as an act of war and have no mercy for the fucking environment they call home, there shall be no mercy this is total war.
Where in Georgia? I live in Nashville. Do you have any video or further evidence? If this is legit I would be happy to come down with cameras and a small arsenal
>>33915015I'm not hairy, but I do have big feet and a huge cock which I love to get blasted with hurricane braps from beautiful PAWGspicrel
>>33896447>>33901555Sorry for the late reply.So a feral human, as the name implies is a person who is feral in the sense that they never were a part of modern society and were born in the wilderness where they learned to live off the land and fend themselves. We call them ape men because they resemble apes because of how much hair they grow and how insanely powerful they are. Now its un clear how different they really are from us because these packs of people, if you can even call them that, have been around in their particular area living off the land for who knows how long. Now what do I mean by their particular area? To put it simply we suspect that they have been in their areas for thousands if not a bit over ten thousand years and have begun adapting to their environment hence the feral features. We also suspect they are the reason for why actual sasquatches are rarely seen because they kill and eat them. Hell, they'll kill each other if they were desperate enough but the reason they won't is because they're intelligent enough to understand that having a small group of yourselves is beneficial. Their groups are large enough to handle a group of hunters but small enough to evade detection. I personally suspect that they have mingled with eachother through incestuous breeding and with actual sasquatches creating a unique breed of human which supposedly creates giants. Whether that's true I'm not sure. Feral humans are heavily connected to the old world thats for sure and I'm almost positive the reason why the US government still protects national forests is to observe and study an array of creatures, feral humans included.
>>33880269Alright faggot, you have one single option and that is to take the fight to them. You are in a situation where you either kill these fuckers or you yourself will be eaten. We are prey to them. They are not lying to you. They likely want to steal your woman for a breeding mate. They are humans mixed with something unknown to science. So get some fucking guns, make some fucking explosives, and KILL. Your life is going to continue getting worse and worse and worse until you fight back and even then, you either kill ALL of them or you will likely die. Arm up and fight back.
>>33884719You would be a fucking snack for them you moron. These things EAT people regularly. They are what the uncanny valley phenomenon exists from. They are the predators of the predators.
>>33912044dumb nigger alert.
>>33920019Are you the Canadian guy? Or is this thread just attracting dudes with monster dicks for some reason? Starting to wonder if all these giga wang swingers posting are just bigfoots with computers monitoring my thread. Because according to that one skank bigfoots do have giant dicks.
>>33920743>Your life is going to continue getting worse and worse and worse until you fight back and even then, you either kill ALL of them or you will likely die.My IBS wife isn't worth all that. The bigfoots can have her. Her farts will probably fatally poison their whole community.
The cryptid has been identified as the COOMER
>>33921307kek my fucking sides anon
OP here. Situation has gone from bad to worse. The bigfoots abducted me and I barely escaped. I was raped. They didn't notice I had my phone. Pic related is photo I managed to snap of them violating me to show the world I'm not lying. My wife is gone, they took her.
>>33920703Feral humans are driving the brapsquatches into extinctionne?
>>33904727>prayer and a connection with the christThis. A child of God (allegedly) can bind these mischievous beings and banish them. A regenerate human being can loudly yell at sabe or whatever else that is acting maliciously, "In the name Jesus Christ I binf you and cast you out". It might also be necessary to create relics and annoint them (makes some crosses and sprinkle PURE olive on them) bury them in the corners of your yard or whatever boundary is there for the property/real estate, and then pray over the property and its boundaries, asking your Abba to cast these maleficient hyrid beings out, and to protect yourself and family members.I have no experience with such encounters but I've heard anecdotes from professing christians that have been harassed by sabe or dogmen. Those anecdotes talk about how the above method led to no further incursions on the property or harrassment. I've even heard an anecdote wherwe a christian didn't make crosses or anything like that, he just yelled at the sabe harassing him and his family at their property that in the name of Jesus Christ he binds them and casts them out, and the sabe left him and his family alone after that. On another occasion that same dude was out for a walk in a forest and he had a face-to-face encounter with a cynocephalus, the dogman in question bared his teeth and tried to menace the man, the man immediately yelled at the dogman that in the name of Jesus Christ he binds him and casts him out, the cynocephalus just runs away with his tail between his legs whimpering all the way until disappearing sight and sound from the christian man.I take the anecdotes with a grain of salt but it makes sense to me. On the other hand it might be as simple as >>33904679 says.>>33920703I also think there are all manner of "monsters" and other beings that live in wilderness all over the earth, especially national parks in the US. The government will never disclose the existence of these beings.
Imagine getting cockblocked by Bigfoot
>>33924256You've seen worse. Remember when Tyrone blew open your wife?
>>33887574how simply elegant. thank you anon kekd and saved
>>33890167enter this into the estimator you fucking retard. 50 randomly generated wordsdetailurgepayfoundationbuildingoutlooksnakepowderdraftintegritysuspectapprovetiredselectionadvancerestrictbinsockqualifyplanetcoincidenceaccentquitinsideanglecensorshipbridgedelicatereservoirtrustfashionmugmountainrelieveappreciateretireliteracypleasewagonroughcylindersalvationcheektransfersunriseconferencedormbladeformthemeiq152, exceptionally gifted. your iqposting is less than worthless.
>>33881707we have creatures similar to what you call a bigfoot or sasquatch here in australia. the natives call them yowies or junjardi...do NOT start feeding a yowie clan or your problems will get worse honestly, just make up some bullshit story that your wife is pregnant to a real estate agent and sell the property. they will end up killing any pets you own and destroy your mental health over time, that's only if they're curious. they hate dogs. if they get upset with you for any reason, maybe you ever start a bonfire on the property, they might start hunting you and then you're stuffed. move
>>33881210even if you hit them you would probably not kill it, not even with a close range hit with 00 buck from a 12ga or a .308. . and then you would only have the rest of its pissed off family nearby, they never travel solo, if there's one, there will be probably another 2-8+ nearby you are missing.
>>33883750i missed that you have already shot at them... you're cooked, mate. just go. do you have relatives you can stay with until it's sold?
>>33880281Medicine, like quetiapine or risperidone can effectively block telepathic communications by "numbing" our extrasensorial perception.
>>33887216Search Bob Gymlan on YouTube. Send him video and story.
Get some trail cam traps, place them in a parameter around your house. The IR from the trailcam scares them off. Also, make sure you don’t leave food out and lock your garbage.
>>33921952In my personal experience (anecdotal) female Squatches are stealing seed of male humans. And now it seems the male Squatches are depositing seed in males humans as well. Probable evidence of a wider Sasquatch-human hybridization project.
>>33881094Sasquatch fingers typed this.