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Is there any kind of ritual I can do to lose weight? I've tried diets, hard exercise, cardio. Nothing I'm doing is working so there must be a paranormal answer. What spells can banish the fat on my body once and for all

Pic is not me but close enough
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>>32176416
If you don't have the will to follow a.diet, you definitely won't be able to successfully complete a ritual to achieve the effect.
It's like you are saying you can't climb stairs, and thus are asking for a place to jump up in one go.
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>>32176416
The fasting threads on /fit/ are pretty good for this sort of thing. Not entirely paranormal but fasting does have its spiritual benefits.
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>>32176416
Listen to these subliminal videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfPa12T-VZ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dQPnXFOISo
This one you have to watch to read the text too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbla4aRq4aA
>>
The following ritual should be done twice a week:
- walk 10 kilometers
- more if you want to
Combined with not eating literal shit and garbage but cooking yourselves, you'll be golden

Don't trust me, I asked the Demiurge and this is what I was told
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>>32176416
Ritual of not eating like a fucking pig
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>>32176416
just change your Gut Biome
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>>32176416
Stop eating vegetable/seed/bean oils. they make fat cells in particular extra sensitive to insulin so they absorb more energy than they should, slow your metabolism body-wide, and directly interfere with fullness signals in the brain. they are why people can fail to lose fat even on highly calorie-restricted 'keto' diets; they are literally worse than table sugar.
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>>32176416
Law of assumption. Affirm you look good and it works. goodluck lad
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>>32176416
Go on keto diet. Eat less than 40g of carbs a day and eat mainly fatty food. When your body switches to using fat for fuel (ketones) instead of carbs (glucogen) then you're constantly burning fat, even when you sleep. It's by far the easiest way to lose weight.
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>>32176676
>glucogen
Meant glycogen
>>
Thyroid medicine
>>
You're probably cursed like me.
Only I'm an incel and never had a woman.
>>
acupuncture for the quick fix, proper diet and exercise for long term health
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>>32176467
This, there are a few different religious and meditative practices that involve fasting for various reasons. Delving into one of these might provide enough motivation to keep up a fasting routine, which would almost certainly lead to weight loss.
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>>32176416
>i tried diet and exercise
You have to do them for more than a day you lazy fat lazy faggot. I'm so fucking sick of ham planets claiming they've "tried everything" to lose weight and none of it works. Fucking lazy bastard quitter faggots.
See that diet you "tried" faggot? You have to follow it forever. Not just for a day, not just for a week, FOREVER. A diet isn't a short term thing you do when you want to remove a bit of weight, it's a lifestyle change. If you don't change your lifestyle you will always be a lazy flabby fat lazy fat fattie.
I was fat, now I'm not. Guess why? I chose a diet regime AND STUCK TO IT. I changed my lifestyle and my body changed with it, and stayed that way. If I were to quit (like you) and go back to my old ways, then I would become fat again.
Why are people so fucking stupid they can't even grasp cause and effect? Fuck's sake.
>gimme a spell to lose weight
>I'm too lazy to even look one up myself, you do it for me
Fucking lazy bastard. You are lazy that's why you're fat, you lazy bastard. God what a lazy bastard. I look forward to watching the footage on the news of them having to lift you out of your house with a crane because you're unable to walk or fit through doors, blob.
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What is it about f@s that make you willing to do literally anything and everything other than stop eating shit food and go to the fuckin gym? There's your ritual, faggot
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>>32176416
Jog two miles each day or 20 minutes.
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fast with water only for 3 days a week. work out an hour 4 days a week. stop snacking. one homecooked meal a day when not fasting. you must make lifestyle changes otherwise youl stay the same.
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>>32176416
stop eating fatass
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>>32176416
Embrace being a beautiful bear and get all the bussy you want
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>>32177651
Fat faggot
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>>32176416
LOW CARB DIET. If you're having trouble transitioning to a low carb diet, do it in steps. If you're severely un-adapted to using your fat stores, you'll have issues. Once you're on a low carb diet, you'll find that it's easier to eat less, this will translate to allowing you to do intermittent fasting and overall having a calorie deficit.

I tend to do carb cycling where I'll eat like a typical american once a week, then switch back to keto with a higher than average calorie intake and then each day I'll eat less and less until I'm at a very low level.

The issue is usually low blood sugar if not keto adapted and ghrelin levels. If you're on low carb, ghrelin levels will be lower but that can take some time especially if you ate a high carb meal. I also found cheating like drinking 6oz of soda doesn't necessarily kick me out of keto and I know I'm in keto because the craving for sugar is usually pretty mild and easily satiated. If you feel you can't be satiated by eating a small number of carbs, means you're not fat adapted yet.

Some people take a really long time to get fat adapted because they're so damn unhealthy.

Reducing stress levels (cortisol) and getting good sleep go a very long way. I found it nearly impossible to lose body fat when I was really stressed, especially since I'm a stress eater but even so.
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>>32176774
OP hasn't replied to anyone's comments so this is probably a slide thread.
>>
Almost all mainstream nutrition advice is dead wrong, and this movie is an excellent introduction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs
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>>32176416
You're not trying hard enough and you know it.
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>>32176416
There is no one surefire ritual, but there are a few that if you perform regularly you can lose weight guaranteed.If you truly wish to climb the heights of your physical form, then I suggest performing what I call the stairway to heaven ritual. It involves finding a flight of stairs and walking up and down them as many times as you reasonably can. Try to go for at least 30 minutes worth, and repeat 3 or 4 times a week. To increase the success of this, you mus train your ascetic self. Eat less overall to reduce the chakra clogging impurities you take in. Especially avoid processed foods as those do the most damage. If you can sustain yourself on roughly half what you are now you could get much closer to your goals. Another more advanced ritual is the Sisyphus, but I doubt you are ready for that just yet.
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>>32176416
Daily ritual of yoga
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>>32176416
Thought patterning and fasting.
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>>32176416
You're not doing it right if you still look like that. Just do IF and eat less carbs, cut out sugar and simple carbs carbs too. Eat more quality protein. It takes months to see results. No there is no substitute for hard work in the gym. If anything you should get your T levels checked.
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>>32176416
>prepare a secret potion using low-fat, low-sugar ingedients, or just fast
>visit the iron church
>perform complex rituals by repeatedly lifting heavy objects, or by stretching body parts
>connect with nature by going for a jog every second day
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>>32176497
Lmao
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>>32176416
>I've tried diets, hard exercise, cardio
That's a great start, now try doing those for more than one day at a time
>>
Got you covered:

Track calories.

24 hour water fast twice per week. (For example Monday and Friday)

No bread, white flour of any kind, pasta or rice (yeah even the "whole" versions of these foods), also no sugar of any kind (Fruit is ok).

3 times cardio per week, push your limits, add sprints inside.

Do it for 1 year and if the fat doesn't go away then try the Inner Guide Meditation by Steinbrecher and visit the archetype which controls your fatness and ask it what shall be done to get rid of the fat.
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>>32176497
KEK
>>
>You gotta eat less calories than you burn & you must be consistent like a machine to loose weight.
it won't be fast but it will be incremental gains in health.

>Just stick to it every day (don't give yourself a choice in the matter, just make it you daily ritual/meditation)
Listen to music, podcasts or stream playlists while you do it and time will fly by. at some point you may begin to enjoy the workout
>You will often be discouraged because you'll often see you've gained weight 1st or it fluctuates a a given point
As you gain & tone muscle or metabolism changes this will happen as well.
(muscle is denser than fat and your body has a natural lazy weight it tends to revert to when not exercising or it reaches a point of new normal)
After your metabolism switches to burning the extra fat because of your continued workout routine & healhier/strict diet you'll just need to maintain the body you worked for by adding more to you workouts occasionally. Always push you limits frequently & change up your workouts to keep your body guessing. This will keep workouts as effective as when you 1st started & prevent monotony as your body adapts to new normals.

Just set reasonable goals, and don't rush the weight loss process, make gradual changes & improvement it'll likely take a full year or two depending on your situation but dedication is key.
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>>32176455
FPBP
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>>32176676
Why do keto posters never give him the best piece of advice? Don't trust a fart on keto.
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>>32176416
eat less and go to /fit/
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>>32176497
I eat once a day a medium keto meal. I do exercise and I am the fittest guy in the boxing class.

Answer me this, smartass. Why can't I lose the last 30 pounds??
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>>32181652
Not him, but you must eat too much.

Weight is just calories in and calories out.

Health is what food you eat and how you manage stress and whether or not you're exposed to other electromagnetic or biochemical poisons.
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>>32176416
250lbs to 135lbs here. There is indeed a ritual to lose weight my friend.
It's called closing your mouth and stop shoving food into down your gullet like a disgusting fucking pig.
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>>32176416
Instead of eating 2-3 times/day eat lighter meals 5 or 6 times a day. Stop the saturated sodium and salty meals, and as much sugar as you possibly can. Do you best to avoid them but companies like to 'lay it on' their products, especially with snacks and canned goods, so it's hard. Cheat occasionally - it's OK!
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>>32176416
yeah its called fasting
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I stopped being a NEET and started serving and bussing tables 5 days a week, double shifts l. Also I take stacker gas station energy pills. Mostly because I gave up Adderall a while ago despite having a script. So far I lost 40 lbs in 3 1/2 months. I have a tiny belly now and if I went to the gym just once a week at this point I think I would actually be fit and better off spiritually.... shame about needing caffeine pills tho. Well one step at a time.
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>>32176416
Yeah it’s called fasting
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>>32176416
>Is there any kind of ritual I can do to lose weight? I've tried diets, hard exercise, cardio.

Describe your diet and your weekly exercise routine, please.
How much sugar and grains do you consume? How much do you move on a regular day?
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>>32176416
Ritual:
>30 minutes of exercise

Ritual Frequency:
>daily

Ritual Requirements:
>body must be cleansed of unhealthy foods, ideally performed under conditions of fasting
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>>32176416
Try the Silva method. You can change your body using your mind.
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>>32176416
Zeolite and coffee enemas.
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>>32176416
Be careful this is powerful stuff
https://youtu.be/bppGGrKAtkw
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>>32176546
Factual. As a lean dude, pigging out consistently results in rapid weight gain. Not pigging out results in maintenance or weight loss. Easy patterns
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I started watching what I eat 2 months ago, and doing strength training 3 times a week, just got an exercise bike and did 10km yesterday on it. Mon/Wed/Fri is weights, Tue/Thur is bike. I was 98kg and I am now 87kg and feel really good.
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>>32181708
not entirely true
your body eventually gets used to a calorie deficit and you need to literally starve yourself to lose weight, and after a while even starving yourself doesn't work anymore
human body is all about adaptation
and the less you weight the harder it becomes
>>32181652
try fasting for 48 hours once a week, it worked for me when I couldn't lose weight
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>>32176416
Take golden teacher mushroom. Ask golden teacher entity. They really love the whole boot camp Tony Robbins role play.
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>>32176416
Well yes:
>Fasting
It doesn't necessarily entail not eating at all.
Major religions have systems for it.
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>>32186513
what you said can also be true but it literally is just CICO if you eat just 600 calories a day no matter what you will lose weight it might be slower but your eating at a deficit.
>>
A ritual for you:

1. Eat less.
2. Do more
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What if I'm already kind of muscular but I just have a layer of far. If I lose weight I'll lose muscle right? How do I make sure I lose more fat than muscle without drinking protein shakes or doing some stupid high protein diet while on a calorie deficit diet?
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You probably have a fast metabolism, anon. And I can smell junk food of your clothing from my computer. Do not eat any sort of fast food for a good 3 months or any fatty fried food. Try to avoid frozen food too. Eat calorie-dense food like corn and salads. Do not drink alcohol at all, a beer once a week is alright. You can go with the healthy lifestyle or you can just smoke a bunch of meth and not sleep for a week and you will lose a substantial amount of pounds lol.
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>>32176497
Can confirm, I am an Archon.
>>
yes, it's called NMAD (no meals a day)
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Hey guys OP here. I took a lot of what you guys said into consideration. I didn't eat all day, went to the gym and had a good workout. Felt good eating my reward burger before I hit the bed. Maybe I'll finally lose the weight this time
>>
Becauss you’re a fatty who does the same thing every other fatty does: overreports their activity while underreporting their calorie intake. Either consciously or unconsciously
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>>32176416
Diet. Benefits of this ritual is that it works.
>>
I myself have undergone a complex occult ritual to lose weight. I should warn you it is very strenuous at times and doesn't just magically work, it takes time and dedication.
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>>32176416
summon a sucubus, potato diet or go to the philippines and do the ritual of paying for a companion and you'd be surprised how much physical activity you get into the weight comes off.

but also check out /fit/
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>>32181652
You could be plateauing, happened to me. My arms and legs and upper chest got toned fairly quickly but I only recently started to see notable change in belly fat, I've been exercising for about 8 months daily for around 40 mins + intermittent fasting + avoiding sugar + trying to stay below 1000 calories a day. Also mountain biking and hiking a few times a week.
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>>32176416
Do what you can to be healthy and feel good. Move and bend yourself, gain muscle, strgthen your heart and lungs, dance, eat clean but nutritious.

But if you’re naturally kind of thick set even when eating right and exercising, unironically learn to accept yourself and love your body for what it is. Not everybody is thin. You may be just older now and that’s how your body will be. That pic you posted seems like an average dude past his 20s. Some people may have the genes to be thin their whole lives but that’s just some people. If you’re healthy and feel good and move yourself with ease, you’ll still be attractive. Fat is unattractive when it looks like unnecessary weight as the result of poor habits and lack of care and physical connection - sickly blubber. But if it’s your natural pudge while feeling your best, that’s the best you’ll look. Emaciating yourself will just make you look like something you’re not, you’ll look off, you’ll look like you’re being tortured. I’m speaking as a thin person.
>>
Ok nigger listen up. You want to lose weight? 1500 calories a day. MAX. That's it. You're gonna be fucking hungry and tired and miserable the first few days. But you're gonna power through it. After the first week and you adjust to the new diet, you're gonna start doing cardio. Run, exercise bike, stairmaster, whatever you can access. You'll lose more than 1 pound a week guaranteed on this routine. You can be at your ideal weight, assuming your picture is relatively accurate, in less than a year. And then, once you're there, you can eat like normal, 1 big cheat meal a week, keep working out 4 times a week.

You don't need a ritual, you just need the willpower.
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>>32176416
There is a ritual wherein you consume a set amount of vegetables and fruits (of your choice) on a daily basis. You have to renounce sugary or overly salty snacks, because of their negative karmic essences. Once these prerequisites have been met, your catharsis is on well on its way. It is now time to initiate the tantric dance where you move heavy objects in deliberate, repeated motions to stimulate the expulsion of fat (daemonic) residues. This can be done with dumbbells or also simply jumping a rope
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>>32176416
You haven't tried HARD exercise, 15 minutes of exercise and then stuffing your face doesn't count as hard.

2 hours of hard workouts, 1 hour of hindu push ups and hindu squats each will get you to lose weight if you do it daily for about 3 months. If not it will make you a functional fucking adult.
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>>32176497
I have heard it said that it is even more effective if you intersperse the walk with a one minute all out run every 10 minutes or so. The guru called them “ritualistic interval chakra raising” or something to that effect. It was very esoteric for us mere adepts but I think he may be on to something.

Wisdom of the ancients and all that.
>>
there is a secret magic ancient ritual called counting calories. this should be combined with the multiple other dark practices like lifting and cardio. jokes aside you cant exercise yourself out of a shitty diet and the only "diet" that actually works is counting calories. go to /fit/ and read up.
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>>32192222
People only utter the words "CICO" between members of enlightened fellow cult members not to sound like they are saying Psycho, their most popular cult leader on the internet of things is Greg Doucette, that divinely blessed Canadian manlet who wasted his genes on a gold digger because he can't and doesn't want to have kids due to having to keep his gains by injecting male sexual hormones known as testosterone, the fuel of one's own libido that shut off shit own body's production when he's on it, he's in the same category as snake oil salesman as Mark Rippetoe, the famous writer and cult leader of the useful but slightly silly book that teaches beginners how to squat more and add mass to their hips since he intended the book to be used by college footballers who were skinny and weak.
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>>32176416
Stop trying to find a shortcut you lazzy fuck.
Get a kitchen scale, start weighting everything you eat and put it in a calory counting app, like myfitnesspal. And exercise 2-3 time a week.
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>>32192126
>3 hour workout everyday
now i know for a fact you sit around all fucking day
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>>32181123
Kek this only happened to me once and that was when first switching to keto, almost pissed out of my ass.
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>>32192247
lol. this got me.
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>>32176416
One easy thing that works : 3 days fast. It’s easier to eat nothing than little bits anon. Try it you’ll thank me.
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>>32176416
Stop eating junk you fat piece of lard
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>>32176497
top kek
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>>32176416
One meal a day, no meat, no calories at any other time, during advent, lent, all weds and fridays
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>>32194564
>0 protein
Tbh I'd rather be fat than weak
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>>32176416
>I've tried diets
yeah, no you haven't
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>>32176592
>they are literally worse than table sugar
there's nothing wrong with table sugar, retard
look at e.g. durianrider, he's been slamming down hundreds of grams of table sugar every single day for over a decade at least, great physical health and shape, lean as fuck since he's restricting his fat intake
me and many others also have great success doing the same
>>
>>32180251
>no sugar of any kind (Fruit is ok)
imagine being so fucking retarded that you don't see the contradiction here
as if the sugar in fruit is somehow magical
truth is: there's nothing wrong with sugar, restricting sugar is the DUMBEST thing you can do
you should restrict FAT and eat all the carbohydrates you want, GUARANTEED weight loss
see: >>32195188
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>>32184424
if you weren't a total retard, you'd ask them how much fat they were eating, because the answer would be a shitton
stop trying to demonize sugar, sugar doesn't cause weight gain, eating fat does
see above posts
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>>32176416
Simply open up the settings menu for you body and increase your metabolism and then wait.
Read about menu on /x a while back and I've lost 7-8kg so far, without changing a single thing.
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>>32176416
You just have to stop feeding yourself after dark. Obesity most often comes from BREAD and from eating after dark. The organism is not designed to eat after dark. And it is not designed to digest wheat products either. The miller was always the fattest man in the village because he ate the most bread. The Christians brought us the bread from the desert. That was over 2000 years ago, but we still can't digest it.
>>
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>>32176416
>Rapid weight gain
>Moodiness, irritability, or depression
>Muscle and bone weakness
>Memory and attention dysfunction
>Osteoporosis
>Diabetes mellitus
>Hypertension
>Immune suppression
>Sleep disturbances
>Menstrual disorders such as amenorrhea in women
>Infertility in women
>Impotence in men
>Hirsutism
>Baldness
>Hypercholesterolemia
>>
>>32181727
You still behave like a disgusting pig, just a smaller one
>>
just coom. a lot. you'll turn into a twink in no time
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>>32176416
Don't fucking eat. it's that simple. I was a chubby fuck all my life and at 30 I decided that I didn't want to look like that anymore. I didn't count calories, I didn't follow any meme diets, I didn't watch any yt fitness gurus. I just stopped eating so much. There is no need to watch some bullshit yt channels or do meme diets, morons who say nothing works are literal retards with no willpower and discipline. All diets just introduce a caloric deficit, they just approach it differently, low carbs, no carbs, no fats etc. Calories in, calories out, that's all that matters. Stop being a fat gluttonous pig and put that beer and donut down.
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>>32176416
Low to no fat diet, under 1,000 calories, drink a lot of water. Daily jogging, minimum of a mile and work up from there. Weight loss doesn't come after a few days. If you have actually worked at it with no change, see a doctor ASAP because you may have a thyroid or hormonal issue.
>>
All these anons saying eat below 1000 calories. 1000 is not even a lot. Thats less than a burger. A simple chick patty sandwich is already 80% of your days calories. 1000 calories a day would make me feel like a zombie. Plus I walk up and down stairs at work. I dont want to faint at work
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>>32176416
How about you put the fucking fork down fatty
T. Lost 25 lbs from cutting
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>>32176416
There is a special potion called "snake juice"
You must drink it every day and not eat at all.
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>>32176416
fix your diet, dumdum
>>
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>>32195201
>if you weren't a total retard
Someone is feeling insecure about their own intellect and trying to project the lack of confidence away
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>>32176467
this guy gets it. Ive done intermittent fasts for at least 4 days a week for 3 years. after the first months i got used to it, it is so easy now. I dont get hungry as often and i eat the same as a 5'4 woman even tho im a 6'4 man. And the best thing is i feel great, light and with energy.

I dont do diets, i dont work out, just fast.
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>>32176416
Theres this ritual I hears about to loose weight, don’t know if it works. You sit cross legged and meditate while not eating food.
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>>32176497
>but cooking yourselves, you'll be golden
Do I just climb into the oven then. 350 degrees? How long will it take to become golden?
>>
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>>32176416

>lift at home
>get some amino boosters/creatine
>go on long walks
>stop smoking weed
>stop being a fat cunt

it's what i did, and i still have work to do.

if i can do it, you can do it. get up off your lazy ass.
>>
>>32176416
it's a simple spell but you have to fast for three months before casting
>>
>>32195772
>Low to no fat diet, under 1,000 calories,
recipe for failure
>>
Study Yoga, wake up and asanas
>WARNING! (involves reading, suffering and becoming enlightened)

works tho
>>
>>32176416
ketogenic diet will work wonders unless you have kidney issues/are type 1 diabetic (it can actually heal/fix up type 2)
>>
Tummo meditation increases body heat and metabolism, with that you can burn all the excess body fat. Look into wim hoff meditation techniques.
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>>32198504
Intel walks?
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>>32176416
Visualize and manifestation. It works
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>>32176416
>Is there any kind of ritual I can do to lose weight?
Does fasting count as a ritual? Eat less, and if you're able, eat with this order of preference; sugars > carbs > protein > fats.
Watch your sodium and alcohol intake. Keep exercising and most importantly.. be patient.
>>
drop your email to join the cult of the treadmill
>>
>>32176416
People say this kind of BS still?

You're fat because you take in more calories than you burn.

you have to maintain a certain caloric intake,
to maintain the fat..

So you're over eating... just

Here's a good diet, don't eat even if you're hungry.
>>
>>32181652
Because youre eating too much you stupid bitch
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>>32176601
kek
>>
>>32176416
Think thin thoughts. Think what your body will do when you’re thinner. Think of the reasons you desire your thinner self. Remember the “Why” of your desire. Think of it often. Dismiss the “what” and “when”. It’ll come. Remember the “why”. Be easy on yourself.

Bonus tip: accept yourself as you are now so you accept yourself as you desire to be
>>
>>32176564
this fix your microbiome. start with homemade kefir
>>
Try ritual fasting. Eat one meal per day, before noon, and fast entirely on sunday
>>
Kundalini yoga and /fit/
>>
40 day urine fast



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