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/x/ - Paranormal

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This is bow to summon a big-tiddy-goth-gf-waifu. It can be done by almost anyone, you just need to do it correctly.

Steps One through Six:

Step One: Don't be a cuckold retard with a brain the size of a goddamned pea. No one likes basedbots. And no, real bitches don't like simpfags, they just milk these rejects for wasted cash. It's been said through generations: Alpha males get laid, but Gamma Males get wives.

Step Two: Have a fat dick. Length is relevant but girth > length. No one likes pepperoni-penoir. Also, your height matters. But if you are a legit bro, then it doesn't. Just in most cases, it does. I know, tough luck! Thank evolution for that one.

Step Three: Have a bank account. Who the fuck wants to be homless lol? Go ahead, get raped by a pack of niggers because you're homeless and outta cash, I'm "sure" the cops will care. Can't afford even a can of soup? Fuck that shit, get a job and work your ass off (unless you are stuck in Canada, my condolences. You have my permission to go Postal).

Step Four: Dont be a tryhard-larp-fag. Everyone enjoys a spooky story and ranting about how much they hate the Jews. But be rational.

Step Five: Make sure you can hold a basic conversation. You want to meet a gal in real life but fumble your spaghetti balls at the drop of a hat? ...Oh boy. Aight, lemme give you some advice, champ: Be upfront and honest. If the situation feels forced, explain why you want to talk to her, show some interest and be a rationally confident guy whose down to run a serious relationship, but you can be just good friends and see if she's willing to introduce you to somelse, eventually. (Obviously don't explain this all in one fucking sitting) Real men can handle any situation with confidence!...unless she's a catty bitch, then walk away. Her loss, not yours. Not all Goth Girls are worth the effort to satisfy, but they are worth meeting to see where the current goes.

Step Six: It's a normal fucking woman, expect the unexpected. Damn...
Tldr kys retard sex addict in dreamland
>but Gamma Males get wives.

That's what I want though is a wife.
We're on 4chan, fellow schizo. This is Dreamland.
>unless you are stuck in Canada, my condolences. You have my permission to go Postal

I am stuck in Canada.
>sex addict

Someone who enjoys sex! GASP! We're doomed. Now pass the magic rock pipe, bitch.

Best pocket what you earn and get that tench coat cleaned up, anon.
You are on the same level as trannies and furries.

Under no circumstance are your words considered useful, wise, or important.

Your thoughts oppose reality and you act as a hedonistic masterbatory std.
Kys tranny
>Your thoughts oppose reality
>Waaah my life sucks

It's not my fault you're a unkissed virgin who jerkoffs to his reflection in the middleschool stalls.
The only tranny here are the two fags crying on a Japanese rape-baiting forum.
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Your opinion of me is opposite of reality, but my opinion of you is entirely accurate.
Nothing you said is accurate of me. Stop being an angry manlet with a tiny penis.

It shows, your attitude you project is just pathetic. What, did you get bored of the /pol/ shillthreads of why you should fuck niggers? Well best get back to it, that's all youll ever get in life.

Fucking retard.
have a fat dick, be tall, have money, be not a loser? so this is a slide thread and you can eat my dick, OP. thanks
Uh huh, keep masterbating to your hedonistic jew thoughts loser.
Hey man, no one said women were easy to acquire. Jeez. Tough Crowd tonight. Angry, bitter fucks.

Actually I'll fuck my Goth gf and fall asleep by her instead, but thanks for asking, Jew. Now you can choke on my cock and die alone, I'm out. oio
This is so cringe wtf
Its like 2007 era pick up artist using contemprary buzzwords to seem relevant wtf
I got a big dick and a big tiddy goth gf but my bank account sucks im poor and have no drive to get more money
Holy fucking cringe.
How to attract females
>think about females
>think about females a lot
>imagine smelling their hair
>imagine holding their hand
>imagine seeing their smile
>imagine making them laugh
>don't jack off until you meet the girl you imagined irl
>after you meet, go to bed at night thinking about her face, body, and tone of voice
>jack off to her image
>you are now possessed by a succubus demon and can command her essence
>when in public, invoke her spirit to give you confidence and release pheromones
>use that energy to attract women you want
>i'm a spergy retard from /pol/ with no self-awareness desperately trying to spread my spiritual poison to teenagers looking to get laid
Fuck off already. Nobody likes you spiritually dead morons except other spiritually dead morons. Go cry about how da joooooos are the reason you're a total fucking loser somewhere else.
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>step one
Learn to cook and bake.
>step two
Offer your meal to goth girl.
>repeat step two till you reach desired results
Worked for me and I'm the archetype of wizard.
>It's a normal fucking woman, expect the unexpected.
>a normal fucking woman
>Goth BBWS
you could just go to the mall on a Sunday little pass noon. Look around the food court, they like to graze around the panda express. You will probably smell their musk before you see them. Once their four stomachs are full they tend roam around hottopic and chinese gift shops. All you need to do is go up and talk to them and comment their makeup and lure them outside with promises of a all you can eat breakfast dinner. Then your set, I do hope you have at least pick up truck and some straps, because otherwise they would ruin your interior. I would just throw some snacks in the bed and when she is stuffing her maw, hurry and ratchet her down. I recommend to adorn a nightmare before Christmas shirt on, since they have masturbated relentlessly to Jack skellington, it subconsciously put them in matting mode.
Kek'd n check'd

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