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File: anglo.png (2 KB, 318x159)
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How do they keep being the worst allies in any strategy game?
>>
AI is generally really shit at using the navy, and even if they can use the navy they can't do naval invasions.
>>
>>505466
Realism
t. Aussie
>>
>>505473
Australia loses to emus and turks but sure, it's all Britain's fault.
>>
>>505468
This.
AI can't into the strats of being an island power.
They have a tendency to fuck it up.
>>
>>505473
>loses to emus
>blame britain for not helping them
Australians just need banning from 4chan
>>
>>505468
>>505559
Have you ever considered there are other games out there than HoI4?
>>
>>505642
I wasn't thinking of HoI4 but sure.
>>
>>505549
>it's all Britain's fault.
In regards to the turks, yes, specifically Winston Churchill's fault.
>>
>>505466
That is historical
>>
>>505642
the vic 2 that everyone jerks off to here has the same problem
>>
>>505466
Gotta shit on the little guy, only in this case the little guy is the one with the largest empire in human history.

So really it boils down to jealousy.
>>
>>505833
It literally doesn't and you can expect massive British invasion of every possible spot that can be accessed by sea, while the transport fleet is screened by half of all Royal Navy, so tough luck intercepting it at the high seas.
Why would you even lie about game you never played, you fucking dimwit?
>>
>>505837
>is
you mean "was"
>>
>>505895
I can forgive you for how you misread that.
>>
>>505837
>Used to control third of the world
>Now can't even control fully own island
Literally Portugal-tier.
>>
>>505466
>>505468
Not to mention a global empire invested in running the world's trade is a unique role standard AI and game mechanics do not cater to.
In fact the issue stems from trade being instant and with no regard to distance nor piracy nor geopolitical pressures (Hong Kong & China) nor the requirement for (colonial) port stops along the way.
And naval bases (or rather the ability to exert military power, or the threat of) via equivalents to Gibraltar, Malta and Cyprus do not matter. In fact most games not only treat naval invasions of any coast as trivial but fortified locations as something you can walk over with 50 tanks or 20,000 men.

Similarly this is why Portugal and the Netherlands suck a lot too even in games that involve their respective heydays.
>>505642
In Civ it's because they're given terrible bonuses that rely on a resource the AI doesn't build an economy around (money in Civ 4) or relies on water heavy maps even though the AI ignores naval units (Civ 5) and there is nothing of value in controlling the sea, unlike real life.
I cannot comment on Civ 6 but it looks like they get actual bonuses there at least in the DLC.

In Vicky II they are the best ally in the game, even as an AI, and are probably impossible to fail without player involvement (or being player led) thanks to owning every basic resource including manpower, and several industries, from day one, which even the starting liberal government tax restrictions cannot put a dent in.
>>
>>505466
perfidious albion
>>
>>505892
No they don't, they just mobilize and park their entire army in Ireland. That's why the Wiz Strait was added, because they didn't know how to transport troops across the strait. Have you played the game?
>>
>>505911
>tfw when you know your country will never be the greatest in history in any regard.
>>
>>505911
London is still the second largest financial center of the world, despite all the Brexit stuff. They've even 'officially' left and most people don't talk much about it. It will take decades now for the EU to fully divorce itself from Britain, and with Russia bearing down the door, the EU will fall apart pretty soon desu
They should make a cold war game bros. Then England could shine, if they had won the Suez, the British would still be a superpower really.
>>
>>506058
>if they had won the Suez, the British would still be a superpower really.
Arguably, every cold war game should have the Americans, the Soviets and the Imperials/Old Order.
Britain and France didn't just magically stop existing on the world stage and they never left Africa, even if they stopped "Owning" (taxing) it.
>>
>>506066
Sorry luv, but you are just a small irrelevant island. And that's not even arguable for the last 70 years.
>>
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>>506066
The formation of the EU and the various designs of the Commonwealth and Anglosphere were of large consequence up until, well, even literally today. The Old Order technically survived the Soviets, but in large part has been subsumed by the capitalist machine. Still, there are nobles and monarchists still jockeying for power as we speak. The French Indochina and Algerian Wars, British decolonization/South Africa situation were pinnacle events and large wars fought in the Cold War era. And largely had nothing to do with the americans until the Imperials started fucking up.
So many avenues for kino.
>>
>>506099
Aww, whatever helps you sleep through those flashbacks of 'Nam.
>>
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>>505466
>backstabbing
>big, pompous but copmletely empty promises
>retarded war leadership
>"please do the most dying in this war our beloved subjects and allies, we did our part by designing a logo"
Pretty historically accurate I would say.
Why are Angl*s are not gassed yet?
>>
>>506066
>Imperials/Old Order
It doesn't feel good to be just an ordinary bitch among many in the harem owned by your former colony after "owning" third of the world doesn't it?
>>
>>505642
No in lots of games their specific problem is Britain's power was always in its navy, and games tend to focus on land combat over than naval combat. Britain has had a comparatively small army ever since mass conscription became a thing. Otto von Bismarck was once asked what he would do if the British used their wonderful navy to land their entire land forces on German soil, and he famously said, "if the british army invades, I shall have them arrested"
>>
>>505911
Let's be fair, the only European nation that still throws its colonial weight around and pretends like they never gave anything up is France. They really don't like to be told they can't interfere in the affairs of the places they used to own.
>>
>>505911
>>506099
>>506265
The Eternal Anglo lives rent free in this one's head.
Must be a Quebecoid.
>>
>>506297
Decades of seething is bad for you, Jerry. Start coping and let the past go.
>>
>>506309
>Jerry
Mate, at least get it right and call me limey.
>>
>>506314
oh boy did I fuck that up. ww2 history was never my forte, lol. What was dismissive nickname for the Brits?
>>
>>505473
Agree.
t. Pollack
>>
>>506322
I can't think of a name more dismissive and insulting than "Brit".
>>
>>506322
US: Limey
French: Rosbeef
What ruddy country are you even from you don't know your insult for Brit? One of the 22 we didn't invade?
>>
>>505466

Because most strategy games keep the 'will probably offer minimal troop contributions at best to European Wars' but forget the 'Will keep funding their allies in the field to keep fighting'. If they could just provide the financial aid to their allies they historically did an alliance would be worthwhile.
>>
>>505466
Never been carried by English Longbows?
>>
>>505549
>Britain planned, and made up the majority of Gallipoli Campaign, meant to knock a nation out of the war
>Lose, doing nothing but waste lives
>Aussies put 3 dudes on a pickup truck, sent them out to kill emu's
>Kill about 10
One of these was more successful than the other.
>>
>>506322
>WW2
>What was the dismissive nickname for the Brits?
Historically the Germans have referred to the English as "inselaffe", Island Monkeys. However Hitler discouraged its use during WW2, he believed doing so would only increase their resolve.

"Do not underestimate the English, from the Generals and Politicians to the shop girls and the street-sweepers, if we dismiss them as a joke, they will haunt us to our dying days." - A.H.
>>
>>506507
Correct. "Island Monkeys", just like you say. Discouraged by Hitler, just like you said. He had enormous respect for the British Empire.

Hitler was also desperate to ensure that British culture and customs did not die out.

"We must ensure that the British keep eating crumpets and having crooked teeth, for the sake of all civilization" - A.H.

To this end all U-boat commanders were ordered not to attack convoys containing crumpets, and all British P.O.W.s with straight teeth were shot on sight.
>>
>>506552
>Hitler was also desperate to ensure that British culture and customs did not die out.

>"We must ensure that the British keep eating crumpets and having crooked teeth, for the sake of all civilization" - A.H.

>To this end all U-boat commanders were ordered not to attack convoys containing crumpets, and all British P.O.W.s with straight teeth were shot on sight.

Genuinely laughed at that, thanks.
>>
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>>506507
>Historically the Germans have referred to the English as "inselaffe", Island Monkeys. However Hitler discouraged its use during WW2, he believed doing so would only increase their resolve.
DON'T INSULT THE HOOLIGANS! YOU'LL ONLY MAKE THEM ANGRIER!!!
>>
>>505934
>Britain is the best ally in Victoria 2.
Britain, America and Japan are all completely useless allies because the AI can't handle massive naval landings. A moderately sized stack of soldiers is all you need to BTFO any naval power in Vicky because they'll only send their armies in little dribbles at a time.
>>
>>506497
>Britain's invasion of the Ottoman Empire with Anzac support: failure
>Britain's invasion of the Ottoman Empire with the support of one homo and a bunch of ragheads : roaring success
I think we can see the weak link here.
>>
>>506783
>Always angry, all the time!
>>
>>506783
This honestly needs a modern HD rerelease or a remake with online multiplayer...
>>
>>507360
Too controversial.
>>
Britain is a really good ally in Vic 2 if you're a minor needing to invade African and Asian nations.
>>
>>506322
We just call them something that would translate as "anglos" up here. That's considered insulting by itself, in similar way how calling a black guy "bamboo" is insulting
>>
>>507652
Third worlders are cute
>>
>>507762
Try harder. Maybe you will hit next shot.
>>
>>506384
Russia. But I think you did half-assedly invade us during the Civil War. I don't believe Crimean War counts as an invasion.
>>
>>507867
>I don't believe Crimean War counts as an invasion.
Of course you don't.
I mean if you did you'd have FSB knocking on your door.
>>
>>506099
t.superpower in decline
>>
>>507867
There was the Anglo-Russian War.

Whole thing ended because you allied with France.

Think it's a fair bet that if the English and French could stop fighting there'd be a very different world stage. Thank God for everyone else that they don't.

Hell, the only reason we have a United States is because France bailed them out against the British, needed to bankrupt their country to do so, which led to a revolution, but it was a small price to get revenge for New France.
>>
>>508584
That never actually came to an actual British invasion of Russia though, just naval slapfighting.
>>
>>507867
Aye the Brits did invade alongside the Yanks and French, I think through Murmansk and Vladivostok to help the Whites but got fucking merked by the chad REVMILCOM.
>>
>>505837
but that's the eternal anglo flag, not the Mongolian flag
>>
>>508595
Did any of those new nations actually fight the red army, or were they just granted independence by Lenin?
>>
>>505466
>How do they keep being the worst allies in any strategy game?
Historically Accurate
>>
>>508609
It depends, a lot of new nations had Bolshevik movements of their own which Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Kalinin, Dzerszhinskij, etc supported. I.E, Finland, Ukraine, the Caucauses, etc, etc. But otherwise the ones that didn't have their own Soviet and weren't actively allied with Germany and the Entente stayed on neutral terms with the Bolsheviks because a White victory would mean no independence.

One notable exception is the Ukrainian anarchists, however, who were fighting Whites too. They were allied initially until elements of the Ukrainian anarchists started sabotaging Bolshevik railways, after which Trotsky - against the wish of Lenin, sent an entire army to melt them, after that most of the anarchists just joined the Ukrainian Bolsheviks.
>>
>>508609
Some did, some decided to join the winner without fighting.
Some *stans did go full independent and semi-anarchy but soon were integrated back after "bandit elements" were destroyed.
>>
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>>508596
The British Empire was the largest in history, Mongols' had the second largest, the Russians are third.
>>
>>508662
>believing br*tish claims
>>
>>508664
>Mad cause empire bad.
>>
>>508662
Mobility is truly a king of warfare isn't it.
>>
>>508609
Central Asia (-stans) basically got full independent without asking anyone (they were semi-autonomous under tzar and Russian control of that region was really wonky in general) and it wasn't until mid-20s the region actually got "police action" (read: brutal conquest and pacification) and once Stalin was in full charge, he went extra-medieval on -stans.
Part of the reason the post-Soviet situation in -stans was so weird and dominated by former communists is because they've essentially eradicated any other elites in that region.
>>
>>508700
By that logic Russians should have no empire and Prussians/Germans should control half of the world, riiight behind Brits.
>>
>>508728
Look at the numbers, Russia had all the time in the world to claim the Siberia, and only had 8 mill, compare that to the Mongols and Anglos; and Germ*s entered the colonizing game very late.
Now the mongols were beaten in speed only during WW2 by Wehrmacht. And the despicable Brits had their steam navy before anyone else did.
>>
Oh, and Russia did not conquer the Siberia, except the Sibir Khanate.
>>
>>508735
>Anon brings mobility as reason
>Point out utter immobility
>CHECK THE NUMBERS!
It's like you are missing the point on fucking purpose and talk about completely unrelated shit to the concept of mobility.
>>
>>508744
OK fine, Russia's case doesn't apply because they did not conquer their colonies. Germans do apply, but they were to late to the game. Still managed to snipe stuff in the Pacific.
>>
>>505892
Dude, they just park 5 million guys on the British Isles and sit there. Especially when France isn’t involved in the war and they don’t have military access.
>>
>>508902
Even if that's untentional that actually prevents from just allying the british and conquering the world as Krakow.
>>
>>508925
Britain's army is always unrealistically huge in Victoria 2 anyway. Colonies shouldn't give nearly as many troops as they do, IRL Britain's army was relatively small but in Vicky they always have a 1 billion man army of Indians and Africans.
>>
>>508928
It's a known gimmick that you can easily 20x your troops numbers by just colonizing africa and very populated areas. It's silly and almost an exploit.
>>
>>508662
Russia should be cut in half. Most of its empire was useless shit land.
>>
>>508595
I can't understand how the allied intervention failed, and then a couple years later, they got their ASS handed to them by just fucking newly-independent POLAND.
>>
>>508999
Not sure if you're trolling but even if cut it in half, it's STILL bigger than the United Sates!
>>
>>509034
Because they had something to fight for. When you intervene in another countries affairs your troops aren't as motivated as when they're fighting for their own.
>>
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>>508726
Imagine if Kazahkstan never dismantled the nukes inherited from the Soviets.
>>
>>509034
>Bunch of people who just went through WW1 ends up being send to a bumfuck nowhere, chasing ghosts and dying god knows what for, just waiting for their assignment to end
>Bunch of people that face a choice between doing their very best to fight and survive defending the country that just emerged after a century of not being on maps, or get conquered and shot as kulaks/capitalists/priests/enemies of the people/whatever other excuse
Wow, this is soooo hard to grasp how the intervention could have failed and bunch of Poles with pitchforks and some hand-me-down rifles managed to win.
Next thing, you gonna be surprised Finland managed to resists Soviets for so long during Winter War.

>>509062
Imagine if Ukraine didn't dismantle theirs - the whole bullshit going in the region for past decade would never happen.
>>
>>508902
>Describes HoI4
>When the subject is Vicky 2
Disgusting
>>
>>508928
Vicky 1 had a counter against this: your colonial troops had colonial quality. That meant worse performance, worse stats and generally being a stop-gap feature
If anything, a variety of simple, yet effective mechanics from 1 got dropped in 2, leading to utterly retarded outcomes that weren't even possible in the original.
>>
>>508662
>not including the moon
America is the biggest
>>
>>509034
1. Allies weren't that active on the front that mattered, the southern one. They mostly provided supplies and after the failures of whites in 1919 they understood it was all over. Don't forget the Entente was tired of war too and making your people fight against your former allies that deaclare equality, liberty and other neat stuff after the pointless bloodbath of the Great War is kinda hard.
Without the manpower and a unified front, the whites were kinda doomed. The ones who actually had a real shot at destroying the Reds were the Germans in 1918 but the Soviets did everything in their power to not anger the Germans after Brest-Litovsk.

2. Polish-Sovit War was a close call, desu. The Soviets reached Warsaw and the poles barely held. The Reds couldn't push furthere because of the internal instability. Early 20s, were probably the second time when everything realistically could've went to shit for the Soviet leadership because of the extreme desolation of the country and war tiredeness. Another push in Poland could've collapsed everything.
>>
>>509844
G*rmans financed commie revolution and were in no position to exert their will anywhere after losing the Great War though.
>>
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>>509062
>Kazahkstan
>>
>>509933
That's Turmenistan, what's your point?
>>
>>509942
The region is crazy, is all. Incidentally, I did a little research on Kazakhstan, and they have a pretty good standard of living, at least "on paper". The pics I've seen of the capital are pretty nice.
>>
>>509764
>Plant 6 flags on the moon
>All made of Nylon
>Bleached white but the sun
>TFW you realise America has 6 flags of surrender on the moon
>Nobody else has even been there
>>
>>509943
Kazakhstan did better after dissolution of the USSR then *all* ex-soviet republics, including Russia. Nazarbayev was truly a great leader.
They are still doing fine, but nepotism is slowly eating them inside. Kazakh still have clan-like loyalties, despite all the attempts of the Soviets to civilize them.
Still, they are doing pretty good, and I don't see this changing in near future.
>>509944
kek
>>
>>509859
I'm talking about the period between Brest-Litovsk and Versailles when the Germans occupied large parts of Russia while the old regime Russian army disintegrated and the new Red Army hasn't exactly become a capable force.
>>
>>509944
And I thought the French gave up easy.
>>
>>505911
>Used to control third of the world
The more I hear this, the more I have to question it. How many men did they even have working for them in Africa? <5,000 in West Africa, I know that much.
>>
Brits were only better than the frogs, and that's not much of an achievement.
>>
A liberal homosexual revolutionary French professor and veteran striker was teaching a class on Maximillian Robespierre, known republican

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Robespierre and accept that he was the most supreme being the world has ever known, even greater than Queen Elizabeth II!”

At this moment, a brave, beer-drinking, monarchist, royal household cavalry champion who had stood on guard outside Buckingham for 1500 hours and understood the necessity of colonialism and fully supported all civilising attempts made by the British Empire stood up and held up a crown.

”What does this crown signify, peasant?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Venetianly and smugly replied “The oppression of the masses by a tiny minority, you stupid reactionary.”

”Wrong. Canada, Australia and New Zealand are examples of prosperity under monarchy, if the people were fit to govern themselves, as you say, then why is the republic of North Korea such a shithole?"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. He stormed out of the room crying those French crocodile tears. The same tears Jacobins cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned power from the aristocracy. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Pierre Froufrou de Gaulle, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a European Federalist. He wished so much that the Gardes-du-Corps would execute them to save himself from embarrassment, but he himself had voted to abolish them!
>>
>>510868

The students applauded and all registered Conservative that day and accepted Her Majesty as supreme governor of the church. A Lion named “Common Law” strode into the room and laid across the Union Jack and shed a tear on the chalk. "God Save the Queen" was sung several times, and the Lord (Anglican) himself showed up and imposed television licenses across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the Covid-19 (British variant) due to refusing the Oxford-Astrazeneca vaccine and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Dieu et mon droit.
>>
>Most of America population had German ancestry
It all comes around to the germans, best breed in the human race no doubt.
>>
>>510882
The best at surrendering.
>>
>>510857
Already covered >>508662
They were better than EVERYONE!

>>510889
Already covered that >>>>509944
It's actually the Americans.

It's almost like people don't have the attention-span to read through a thread before posting any more.
>>
>>505466
Because they are the worst allies in reality.

Spend the 20's building up Japan's navy and stoking the fires of their imperialism.

Spend the 20's and 30's with the french kicking a downed germany over and over opening the doors for the insanity of Hitler.

Even after WW2, jesus - again, like the 20's, did their best to fuck over the U.S., by "accidentally" leaking nuclear secrets to the commies, and then fucking selling them their best jet engines too.
>>
>control+f
>tobruk
>no results

Also they are shit allies in games because it would feel like a cheat that an AI ally gave you more money than every gdp in europe combined everytime you go to war
>>
>>513261
>"accidentally" leaking nuclear secrets to the commies
serves the yanks right for kicking us out of our own nuclear program
>>
>>506335
Jew.
>>
>>505466
That's because you as the protagonist should be playing as them
>>
>>505466
>sign alliance with Brits
>get invaded
>We got this.jpeg
>stupid brits bombard the invader with leaflets
accurate
>>
>>505934
>In Vicky II they are the best ally in the game, even as an AI
I dunno, man. They do perform well and are a formidable foe, but I find them flaky and unreliable. They peace out when you never want them to and are dumb in general. I find Russia to be a pretty solid ally that will stick by you and do the heavy lifting, as long as you don't get into territorial disputes with them.
>>
truly the main character of history
>>
>>506507
Guess he Kinda forgot that when he was talking about the Soviet Union
>>
>>514460
The whole Great Britain nonsense is just a prologue to the real protags of civilizations: the Irish
>>
>>506626
>Genuinely laughed at that
why?
>>
>>505466
Probably because you need to program in a whole different ai system for island nations that most devs just don't bother with.
>>
>>514460
England is the Tragic Hero:
>Starts out small and weak,
>Attacked by everyone,
>Has enough of that shit,
>Trains an army,
>Conquers the world
>Realises he has become the bully who attacks and invades everyone,
>Gives it all back in penanace

Should be noted that throughout this story France has been been the Hero antagonist to provide rivalry and team up with when SHTF.
>>
>>514547
Sorry but the Irish will never be the MC.

Don't take that as a slight, no story is complete without a Stephen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrJCDhf5N7k
>>
>>>514808
Get this gay hetalia shit back to tumblr.
>>
>>505473
spbp
t. Pole
>>
>>505466
The world will never forget that they left Poland alone when facing the Nazis.
>>
>>514808
>Attacked by everyone
Bruh, from 1066 onwards it was England who was attacking all its neighbors non-stop. I mean whatever timeline you’re from sounds cool but it’s clearly not OTL England you’re describing.
>>
>>514808
>>Gives it all back in penanace
lowqualitybait.jpg
>>
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>>514808
>England is the Tragic Hero
>invades and subjugates Wales
>invades Ireland multiple times until it's subjugated
>invades and pillages Scotland multiple times
>starts multiple wars against France over muh Angevin claims
>starts 100 years war over muh claim on the French throne
>invades France multiple times because Henry VIII's muh glory
>sponsors piracy against Spanish treasure fleets
>becomes republic and invades Scotland and Ireland again
>becomes monarchy again
>proceeds to build a fuck huge navy and bullies everybody
>beats up a drug addict multiple times whenever he tries going into rehab
>tries to hold onto its empire until the 1950s when the entire world tells them to fuck off
>still gladly joins in every opportunity to help America bully smaller nations
Yeah real tragic hero.
>>
>>505473
This
t.Vatnik
>>
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UK isn't really meant to be a useful ally, it's more mean to be an annoying enemy, like if you're playing a small nation and a single UK doomstack ferried overseas is enough to thwart you. At best the UK is useful deterrent in defensive wars against other enemies. But they're not going to help you much in your offensive wars.
t. brit
>>
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>>514808
>Realises he has become the bully who attacks and invades everyone,
>Gives it all back in penanace
Do anglos actually believe this?
>>
>>516051
>At best the UK is useful deterrent in defensive wars against other enemies. But they're not going to help you much in your offensive wars.
Only realising now Britain in Victoria 2 is actually realistic as fuck.
>>
>>515822
Well done, you expanded on "Trains an army, Conquers the world"

Care to expand on all the invasions of England while you're at it?
>>
>>505473
Tell me about it
t. Mohawk Indian
>>
>>505466
>Why is Naval empire useless when every strategy game in existence has barebones naval mechanics
>>
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>>510882
>My great-great-great grandfather was an impoverished German farmer that was too stupid to make a living in any of the given Germanic states
>Thus I am German and of great competence
No, you are an useless mutt without anything to his name.
>>
>>515771
WW2 is the epitome of Eternal Anglo
>Do everything in their might to help Hitler get into power, because lmao, Germany
>Pretend everything is just fine when Germans start pushing around
>Sign up a treaty with Poland without ANY will to uphold it
>Still declare war against Germany anyway, but not fighting at all
>Start negotiating with Stalin the moment Germans do the very thing they wanted them to do for all of 30s - fighting against the USSR
>Sell out Poland AGAIN, this time to Soviets
>Wait for Yanks and Commonwealth to bleed all over Europe
>Congratulate themselves a victory in a war that could have been avoided in the first place
>Instantly prepare to war against Soviets and their enlarged sphere of influence
>Bankrupt themselves over all of this shit, then blame Germans
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>
>>517345
Prior to Norman conquest?
Okay there’s the Romans, Anglo-Saxons and Vikings. Basically nothing in the grand scheme of things. So yeah England was never some tragic hero fighting against injustice suffered. England was a big dicked Chad that beat the crap out everybody and doesn’t take shit from anybody, always was always will be. Cucks will always be jealous. Simple as.
>>
>>508950
>>508928
Doesn't HPM and HFM guard against this too by restricting soldiers in nonstates to 1/2% until you get Mass Politics, at which point you can get a whole percent? You're not playing vanilla or p*p d*mand, are you anon...?
>>
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>>517345
Roman invasion
Viking invasions
Anglo-Saxons got invited by mega brain Britons. Raids by Picts were so pathetic you can't seriously call them invasions. Any other invasion or invasion attempt following the Vikings was a result of England starting shit against bigger neighbors themselves.
>>
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>>514808
>Gives it all back in penanace
Wait m8. First let me add some negro kill marks.
>>
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>>510870
>and the Lord (Anglican) himself showed up and imposed television licenses across the country.
>>
>>506330
>>515764
What the fuck are you idiots talking about? We literally went to war for you people. A war we won, by the way, which is why your country even fucking exists.
>>
>>521275
When you are selling out a country not just once, but twice, within a single war that doesn't even last a decade, you are a horrible ally. All of which could have been avoided if bunch of idiots didn't decide to sign a treaty they had absolutely no will or desire to uphold, so again, being a horrible ally.
You know, the thing this thread is about.
>>
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>>510870
>He died of the Covid-19 (British variant)

You might think that, I couldn't possibly comment
>>
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>>521275
A wild anglo spotted
>We literally went to war for you people
Yeah you "went to war" but didn't do anything for like a whole year or more and continued to drink tea on your cushy island.
>A war we won
Americans and ruskies won the war, you just tagged along.
>>
>>521275
>We literally went to a Phony War for you people
ftfy
Declaring a war and actually fighting one are two separate things. And British actions during WW2 is currently a literal textbook example of this behaviour in fucking strategy manuals for officers in training. Let that sink in: your shitty performance as "allies" is something that's taught to military commanders, so they know they shouldn't consider a foreign relief as guaranteed, no matter how many documents have been signed.
>>
>>522853
>Americans and ruskies won the war, you just tagged along.
If you think the Americans won the war then you and I are living in two very alternative time-lines.
The next thing you'll be telling me is Vietnam was a roaring success.
>>
>>522898
honestly my favorite part of '40 was when the British pulled their forces off the front line without even telling the French they were withdrawing and when the French found out the British just straight up lied about it and insisted it was a "redeployment" to France's west coast
>>
>>523010
>insisted it was a "redeployment" to France's west coast
>>
>>522973
I don't have any sympathies for neither Americans nor Russians but Brits did so well that they ended up just defending their island in 41 when whole Europe was conquered. So yeah, if it weren't for Americans and Russians you wouldn't do shit.
>>
>>523038
Brits just prioritized the only part of Europe worth defending.
>>
>>523114
t. nonce
>>
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>>523114
you're reaching the amounts of cope that shouldn't be humanly possible
>>
>>523010
This isn't the best part.
The best part is how they've sold Dunkirk as a victory.
You know, the fact they've first left their allies to rot, and then bailed on them, because they were in no shape nor condition to actually fight against Germans, despite almost a year of mobilisation.
But then I remind myself that one of national heroes of the UK is Robert Scott. You know, that guy who gallantly died in the Antarctica due to shit-tier preparation, zero considarations into environment and taking for granted that he will succeed, simply because he was a British officer. So naturally, he's celebrated as one of the best explorers ever, displaying "the most British values". That is - failing in spectacular fashion due to zero prep and it then raping him with a rebar rod.
People say Americans are cocky and overconfident, but they didn't get those traits from vaccum.
>>
>>523471
>People say Americans are cocky and overconfident, but they didn't get those traits from vaccum.
Sometimes I think people forget that they're our inbred offspring.
>>
>>505473
I have no idea what you're talking about
t. Alberto Barbosa
>>
>>505466
>How do they keep being the worst allies in any strategy game?
Because the only way to defeat them is in the realm of fantasy.
>>
>>505473
Aussies are just working class British people with funnier accents.
>>
>>505466
They're capable in EU4.
>>
>>523114
Indeed.
>>
>>505466
Perfidious anglos
>>
>>523038
>superior german engineering and training can't even beat Baz and Gary who joined the RAF for a laugh just to get away from thier wives for a few hours a day
Kek keep going, groblarper. I bet the next thing you'll say is that Dresden was a warcrime.
>>
>>515771
>implying anyone other than poles gives more than one single shit about Poland
>>
>>515771
>The world will never forget that they left Poland alone when facing the Nazis.

>Left Poland alone
>Nobody else had the balls to step up to the plate and defend them.

England joined them as a deterrent so when shtf they had to back off. Everyone else was too scared of the goose-steppers to even make threats.
>>
>>505473
You are us.
>>
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>>525927
It's a shame cinemas are closed. Such talent going to waste
>>
>>527559
Remind us, anon, who ELSE there was to "join".
Because you seem to be missing some historical memo about the situation back in the 30s and what countries were even present around
>>
>>523114
>loses entire empire in the process
Ah yes another rousing success for the anglos.
>>
>>527559
>England joined them as a deterren
>join ongoing war
>as a deterrent
Mental gymnastics should really be an olympic sport
>>
>>527660
Post flag, Hans.
>>
>>505473
Definitely
t. Irish
>>
>>521747
>>522853
>>522898
It's not our fault that Poland fell in 35 fucking days.
>>
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It seems our superiority has led to some controversy.
>>
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>>527899
dumb bong
>>
>>516011
Baron Wrangel is that you?

>>507867
>>508595
The British (along with the rest of the entente) were rather treacherous allies towards Whites during the Russian Civil War. Lloyd George and the British Foreign Ministry were pushing for Bolshevik normalization in 1919, the whites were kept out of Versailles by them and the French. Not to mention the time Kolchak had to deal with the entente encouraging the SRs to undermine the White Movement in Siberia, among other things.
>>
>>505466
>Brits are such perfidious scumbags they even betrayed their own people in Rhodesia.
>>
>>510868
>Low Toryism
>Real Monarchy
I bet you read Locke faggot.
>>
Friendly reminder:

If you can't make the top 10 (>>508662) you'll always be a hater.
>>
>>528065
But that's not fair, there's no 'murica.
>>
>>508999
Yes and?
A lot of British land was useless, full of niggers, and were a net economic drains upon the empire.
>>
>>527886
>Don't send support
>Don't engage Germany in any way
>Actively block supply shipments
>"Not our fault!"
Let me guess: it's also not your fault France found a 50 km long gap in their defense line in NE Belgium, while British troops were busy heading straight toward Dunkirk and Calais?
>>
>>528817
>A lot of American land is useless, full of niggers that are a net economic drains upon the empire.
Fixed.
>>
>>528846
>Fixed
But both are correct
>>
>>505473
true
>>
>>528790
The client states in Europe don't count
>>
>>528828
Ah yes, blame Britain because you're too retarded to know history.
First of all, the allies thought Poland would be able to last for at least three months, and the Polish themselves thought they would last for six months.
Second, the allied strategy was to relieve pressure from Poland in a two-pronged attack. The French invaded Germany in the Saar Offensive, and the British navy engaged the German Navy with the purpose of destroying it and setting up the possibility of further action.
Except the Saar Invasion never fucking happened. The French gathered like 40 fucking divisions, sat on Germany's largely undefended western border, then just didn't fucking attack. If they'd fucking told Britain they were going to pussy out, Britain would probably have sent an expeditionary force earlier to do it themselves.
But they didn't. What happened is, once again, the French just sat on their fucking arses, giving the Germans time to not only completely fuck Poland in a third of the time anyone thought possible, and then return to the western front with France.
So no, it's not Britain's fault Poland fell, you fucking idiot. It's France's fault.

>it's also not your fault France found a 50 km long gap in their defense line in NE Belgium, while British troops were busy heading straight toward Dunkirk and Calais?

Do you even fucking know about the Blitzkrieg and Ardennes? Obviously not, so let me give you a quick rundown on what happened:
There's a forested region called the Ardennes that the French idiotically thought the Germans couldn't get through.
Surprise! They did. Not only did the Germans break through the poorly defended Ardennes, they were literally high on fucking Meth and pushed right through the French defences to the fucking coast, completely surrounding the British Expeditionary forces and the French troops in that region.
The British troops retreated to Dunkirk because they were LITERALLY FUCKING SURROUNDED ON ALL SIDES.
>>
>>528828
>>529779
What the fuck do you think the British should have done? Stayed there and been completely wiped out by the Germans because the French were too fucking stupid to defend?

Also, the British evacuated more than 100,000 French troops. The British did their fucking duty.
>>
>>529779
those 40 fucking divs weren't fully mobilized or ready, and Poland was already getting BTFO'd in a week's span leading to everyone getting scared and anxious of a WW1 repeat scenario.
France was pretty capable of BTFOing Germany solo on paper but they had a conservative doctrine and an unwillingness to fight due to WW1 trauma, which wasn't exclusive to the frogs (Britain appeasement, USA neutrality, etc)
>>
>>529779
>oh no, me surrounded, me run away!
How did you run away you nigger, if you were surrounded? Sounds like you WEREN'T LITERALLY FUCKING SURROUNDED ON ALL SIDES. You just pussied out, that's it.
Now both you and frogs were cucksucking whiny bitches in that war, but at least frogs are aware of it. Brits on the other hand are still in complete denial.
>>
>>506322
In video games I usually heard "Tommy"

German "Jerry"
British "Tommy"
USA "Yankee "
>>
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>>505466
>>
>>530860
>First anglo empire gave kikes land they took from Ottomans. >Second anglo empire if not ruled then highly influenced by the kikes.
That's makes one think, if all anglos are discount kikes or something.
>>
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>>530863
>>
>>530868
>all the smartass backstabbing plans are backfiring spectacularly
discount kikery confirmed.
>>
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>>530876
>>530863
>>530868
As it turns out, "the eternal anglo" is a 17th century meme that even Robert Filmer was aware of.
>>
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Why Brits didn't just park their navy in Baltic n btfo kraut ""navy""?
>>
>>530983
>what is protecting your supply ships?
>what is luftwaffe?
>what is submarine?
>what is supporting your land operations?
From the top of my head.
>>
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>>530963
>a 17th century meme
memes are eternal
>>
>>530997
You realise BOTH countries were in range of each others land-based airforce... right? And that England is literal stone-throw away from German shores (terrible for landing, thou, as it's just salt marshlands and shallows), thus invalidating any logistics.
Not to mention - this is how WW1 played our and back then Entante didn't have any means whatsoever to detect subs, yet blocked Germany entirely and forced whatever navy they had after Jutland to stay in port
>>
>>530868
>so at the end you don't even build that fucking railroad
This is potentially the best fucking bit. Being a /n/ative, I almost fucking choked
>>
>>531031
Julius Caesar never conquered the Britons though; Is that even a real quote?
>>
>>530855
The fuck are you going to do from a pocket cut off from the main forces by a force far stronger than yourself? You can't attack the fucking sea. Best case, in an attack you manage to join back up with the main French force, which had been getting bashed the entire time, and you maybe buy a week for France with your comparatively tiny force. Worse case, you fail to break out, lose your only path of egress and get annihilated.

An army IS surrounded if the only way out is by sea, you can't just load up and re-enter the fight at another port.
>>
>>506330
>>515764
Britain gave not only its Empire but its fucking future for you fucking p*lish scum. Poland is a worthless shithole full of arrogant ungrateful pricks. Fuck you country and Fuck both of you.
>>
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>>531893
You already got btfo in this thread but go on
>>
>>531885
Nta, but his point is clear:
If you are surrounded, you can't retreat.
If you can retreat, you aren't surrounded.
It's really not rocket science.
On top of that, BEF got itself circled, because it was busy retreating from France, leaving the hole in French lines, through which 1/3 of all German forces poured in, unopposed by anyone, because Brits kept lying to French that they are fighting, while they were high-tailing toward Calais. They didn't even made it that far
>>
>>505466
Thats what you get for stealing all dat rice and potatoes from your vassal nations, and then dare to complain when their citizens come back to you, while having them work for peanuts - so that they stay at lower-class for as long as possible and keep most of profits in Anglo hands only (meanwhile unwittingly ruining your own economy so much that its cheaper to ship/fly metric tonnes of sugar from goddamn Bangladesh than to produce it locally) - also fucking over Czechoslovakia and Poland just to keep things more on-topic I guess...
>>
>>531994
t.Irish
>>
>>505466
>ITT:
>Everyone mad at the English because deep down they know their country will never be as great.
>Also ITT:
>People shitting on the English and pretending their country isn't equally worse.

>To summarise:
>Kids act like retards to win a trophy,
>Kids are mad they didn't win/get a participation trophy,
>They pretend only the winner was acting retarded,
>The irony is they're acting even more retard pretending they didn't act retarded.

tl:dr
You're all retarded for shitting on the English.
>>
>>531885
>The fuck are you going to do from a pocket cut off from the main forces by a force far stronger than yourself?
Ask Russians, you faggot.
In worst case scenario you die for your cause, tying down enemy's forces, which is you know, quite effective way to fight *blitz*kreig. French would be double ashamed to cuck off and probably would have kept fighting. But that's a fantasy, expecting Anglos to die for anything but money, right?
In best case, exhausted Wehrmacht would not just stop in wait for repairs but also fall back a bit, giving people drive to continue the fight and cut off Kraut's thin support lines. *Actually* fucking surrounding them.
But again, bombing civilians or using machine guns against spears is what Anglos call war anything else is too much for the effeminate faggots they are.
>>
>>532267
>t. angloid on copium
>>
>>531885
There are two things about WW2 that I don't quite grasp, at least in terms of legacy:
Anglos aren't rememebered as white-flag waving faggots.
French are remembered as one of the main contributors to victory.

With propagada this good, you can sell people pretty much anything
>>
>>505473
ditto
t. Tetricus
>>
>>532778
>French are remembered as one of the main contributors to victory
Lmao where? Certainly noone in Europe thinks that
>>
In AOE3 the AI's ability to perfectly micromanage settlers combined with the Brits' awesome economy means a British AI will be sending endless hordes of units at the enemy. Not bad all things considered.
>>
>>532323
t. Anglophobe.

The British attempted to redeploy forces farther south in France after Dunkirk, but the French totally collapsed and surrendered so they quickly sent everyone back. Did you know, for instance, the Canadians were deployed to France in 1940? Yeah, I didn't know they got there that soon either, but the Brit's sent a rather large force to Cherbourg in June 1940, then almost immediately withdrew it when the French looked like they weren't going to fight anymore.

Face it frog, your country was largely cucked and cowardly in WW2. The chads you actually had joined de Gaulle, everyone else either surrendered or became Nazi puppets.
>>
>>533230
A germanized France was and is infinitely preferable to an americanized one.
>>
>>533230
>your partner in arms betrays you and runs away
>why you no fight, man, we were this close to join the fry
lol

frogs are faggots too, you worth each other.
>>
>>532323
>using machine guns against spears is what Anglos call war anything else is too much for the effeminate faggots they are.
>Genuinely believes using drone-strikes on children is more manly.
Cuck harder son, cuck harder.
>>
>>533230
>Points out reality
>Anglophobe!
I get it, your national sport is denial, but come on.
>>
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>>535787
>The only other people than Angloids are mutt versions of them
Different anon, but I just want you to know your actions prior, during and directly after WW2 fucked my country. Continously. With a rebar rod. And you always pretend that none of this, of course, ever happend, because luckily, you didn't sign any sort of alliance or guarantee, thus you were free to sell us in Munich - without even asking - and then Yalta - again without asking. And then you did absolutely nothing when Yalta got violated.
I don't think you can even imagine how things like that soil relationships and national perception. But it gives immense Schadenfreude watching you butt-fucking yourselves.
>>
>>537203
Yeah, it was shit what we did to you. The problem was you were fucked no matter what, if not by us then the Germans or Russians would have had their way with you.

So yeah, we fucked you, we fucked you hard.
>>
>>537203
Literally the only way to prevent Eastern Europe from getting fucked after WWII would have been for the Allies to declare war on the USSR, and thinking that would have been any sort of realistic proposition is a lunatic.
>but muh Unthinkable
Just because a plan exists doesn't mean that anyone thinks it's actually going to happen - and in this case it's even literally written into the name.
>>
>>538725
Um... except for that Russian part. All it took was not saying to Stalin "sure, if you want Lithuania, you can have Czechoslovakia with it, too" during negotiations. He wasn't even interested himself. Churchill just used it as an "extra". Thanks a lot, fucked us up really good. Half of the country is now into anal as a result.

>>540075
>We deluded ourselves that the only option is to go to war, thus we didn't do shit, because the delusion was that only war can happen
Anglo: The Coping
>>
>>538725
Also, the German part was also avoidable. But hey, let's handle over - without asking - the borderland with extensive fortifications to Germans. Surely, this will appease Hitler.
A fucking 5 yo knows that appeasing doesn't work. And your prime minister had the gull to actually say "quarrel in a far away country, between people of whom we know nothing". Why then he decided to play a judge? Was it also so hard to at least PRETEND and call Beneš or Krofta?
>>
>>535787
>accusing me of being amerishart
Hey, that's excessively rude, where are your manners?
>>
>>540390
My apologies.
>>
>>540173
>Beneš
haha benes :~DDDDDD
>>
it took like a month for /vst/ to turn into /v/ sad
>>
Brits and Aussies shouldn't fight. Wettingherpanties and similar were pretty cool until the UK made those retarded laws that made it not technically illegal but a pain to make, and the wetset freaks went fully into abdl bullshit.
You have shared heritage to take pride in, even if it was just for a brief period.
>>
>>541773
you're being dramatic. the worst parts of this board are contained to HOI4 or occasionally when the schizos, who make up the minority, screech at a black person in a new game
>>
>>541773
>month
>turn
>>
>>541798
I disagree.
This thread has nothing to do with strategy games and is a blatant attempt to instigate a political shitfest even /pol/ wouldn't go for.

This is an direct moment of 'board culture proceeds the topic' which would be called a 'reddit moment' but at this point it's /v/ because even reddit wouldn't sink to this tier either.
>>
>>541773
>>542109
>>541798
You can take your metashit to /qa/.





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