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Haxball is a top-down 2D soccer game that's played entirely in your web browser.

You can join the /hax/ room at:https://www.haxball.com/play?c=IX6WYWgrvr0
pass: shaw

Room link, stats, chat logs and replays available here:https://neinhold.github.io/

Previous threads:
1.>>198353#
>>
Over/under on the number of days until we get kicked out?
>>
>>208864
MODS DONT MIND THE PREVIOUS THREAD LINK, IT WAS A MISTAKE, WE LITERALLY DIDN DO NUFFIN.
WE ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE
>>
Rare video of Cuck warming up before a match
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FP7AeCXJlo
>>
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>>
>being this scared of jannies

zoom
>>
>>208867
Double parlay on getting evicted to /bant/ in 3 days
>>
>>208871
will haxball's pulisic ever score a goal this good? i think not.
>>
>Uploading files from your IP range has been blocked due to abuse. [More Info]
Anyone else got this? I can't upload images on this board.
>>
>>208864
join roon
>>
>>208880
probably one of your neighbours fault
>>
>>208888
>>208880
Shame. I was working on an OP image. Here it is
https://imgur.com/a/6JgllWY
>>
>>208892
Who killed him?
>>
>>208893
hobo and katai, I think.
>>
>>208895
assholes, we can only pray the man comes back.
>>
>>>/sp/105279329
>>
bump
>>
>>208892
wankstain copping a feel lol
>>
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save me a place, yeah?
>>
threadly reminder krubb is a literal nonce
>>
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>>209026
lol
>>
>>209043
>it's real
>>
room is alive, come and join
>>
Fuck haxball
>>
>>209083
t. Benis
>>
>room dead
>>
fix server neinhold
>>
MESSOY in da HOUUUSE
>>
>Inzaghi didn't show up today
SHM and Abu, hope you're proud of yourselves.
>>
>>209187
i'm proud of them
>>
>room dead already
lol tf happened
>>
>>209198
We started playing much earlier today which also meant people left earlier.
>>
>>209198
room was 90% WOATs so every game was shit
>>
rigged come back i was gonna beat you next game i-i s-swear
>>
Hey lads, quick question. I'm seeing about putting together a /vm/ squad for a PES tournament, using memes from the board as players.
Because of haxball's untimely eviction from /sp/, they wouldn't be able to use a haxball rep. I would like to put one on a potential /vm/ roster. Possibly as a GK, but I'd like to leave that up to the thread. What name would you give to a haxball rep?
>>
>>209350
Piguain
>>
>>209350
Inzaghi
>>
>>209350
If it's a goalkeeper it has to be our goalkeeper of the year - cuck. If it's not, then our player of the year - Piguain.
>>
>>209418
>>209364
There's actually an old fat Higuain model that I can use
>>
>>209350
The only real answer is
tek
>>
>>209350
Neinhold
>>
>>208864
[!] DATAMINING LINKS DO NOT ENTER [!]
>>
>>209634
>>209350

NeinholdBot is surely the true MVP
>>
File: contagious.png (1.62 MB, 1288x1800)
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What do you guys think of /hax/ FUT style cards for our 2021 group picture? Here's one example I quickly mocked up, suggestions welcome.
>>
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>>209705
hehe yeah here's one I mocked up
>>
>>209187
I'm very proud of myself but let's be honest, that retard will show up again and have another meltdown sooner or later
>>
>>209705
very nice idea, I like it, but putting up the attributes would be a pain and everybody would (probably) complain they didn't get their attributes right
how about putting their favourite position/gimmick under the name? Something like 'Master of the Server' for Neinhold, 'GOAT' for Piguain, 'Drunkard' for Krubb etc
>>
>>209705
I appreciate the effort but this is worse than the shitty tier lists that plagued the old thread
>>
yeah screw tierlists but the fut cards are a nice idea, just do away with the ratings and the attributes.
>>
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>>209722
>>209732
>>209738
The full sized cards look weird without ratings, but I think something like this is alright, no?
>>
>>209743

looks good
>>
>>209705
we need more of those, for woats also
>>
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>>209849
I'll be making one for everyone, rest assured you'll see a group picture eventually.
>>
>>209743
>>209852
doing great work lad

btw join room
>>
>>209720
no sry i decided to LEAVE forever

thx for all the MEMORIES
>>
>>209857
Don't Inzaghi, it's not worth leaving just because of 2 bullies. Most people genuinely like you.
>>
>>209858
kek nobody genuinely likes Inzaghi
>>209857
good riddance retard
>>
>>209861
Cringe
>>
>>209857
come back dude we need you, too many woats are here and they're killing de room
>>
>>209857
Don't leave because 2 people were shitty to you, you're a well regarded player.
>>
>>209857
Nice, thank you for not coming back, you won't be missed
>>
>>209857
rest in power
>>
>>209857
see you next week
>>
>>
is haxball dying again
>>
>>209926
What do you mean? It's still early.
>>
>>209926
>being this infidel
>>
when are we playing curvefever
>>
>>209987
>curvefever pro
>>
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>>209988
>snakes now has a battlepass
>>
Playing with is almost as bad as playing with messoy. Loses possession every time he gets the ball and has no clue how to position properly in attack or defence. Gets in the way so much that I genuinely think the team would be better off playing 3v4 without him most of the time.
>>
>>210082
who?
>>
>>210082
Literally who?
>>
>>210083
i felt bad so i removed the name but still wanted to vent
>>
>>210083
>>210084
>getting baited by a 2010 pasta
>>
>>210085
Were you talking about spuh? He just needs more time, it was his first day. Let's not be mean to the /vm/ newcomers.
>>
>>210089
no I actually thought spuh wasn't too bad for a complete beginner
>>
>>210098
Then I'm pretty sure it's cronaldo, if it's someone from the last 10 or so people in the room. But I honestly don't think he's that bad anymore.

At this point you have to tell us, there's no point feeling bad when everyone insults everyone in the chat anyway. Let it all out.
>>
>>209857
king
>>
We miss you, Inzaghi. I know you're reading this. Make your triumphant return.
>>
>>209350
boils or krubb, any other answer is wrong, these two dangers to society are synonymous to /hax/
>>
>>209350
The /4ccg/ has the incredible merit of being the single most cancerigenous amalgam of subhuman circlejerkers this sorry site has ever produced
>>
>>210199
Used the general's name to not get spam blocked, but I meant the cup itself obvs.
>>
best formations without a left back?
>>
>>
in this house we respect rat
>>
>>210271
why is the ball running away from him
>>
>>210271
needed a softer pass
boils' fault, really
>>
>>210271
It's not as bad as it seemed at first glance, but I'd definitely expect him to score that.
>>
>>210271
looking at those teams, I doubt that was a decisive moment in the game
>>
File: neinhold (1).png (1.98 MB, 1288x1518)
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>>
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>>
>>210500
>>210502
kek
/hax/ trading cards when?
>>
File: haxblel.png (2.31 MB, 1288x1518)
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>>
>>210508
I'll trade you one boils and one krudd for a shiny neinhold
>>
>>210513
oh, a cm, nice lol
>>
>>210502
this is p cool

>>210478
>>210481
>>210487
>>210490

>all of these anonymous replies over choking an open goal

maximum cope
>>
>>210564

Based boils laying down the law
>>
>>209743
>>209852
>>210500
>>210502
>>210513
These are noice, I need MOAR of them
>>
>>210564
>>210581
I'll have a full group picture soon™
>>
>>210587
nice baby
>>
>>209732
NO FUN ALLOWED!!!
>>
>>209350
I'd like to nominate myself

I am the creator of the culture and the reason most of these people get out of bed each day
>>
>>209350
I believe it should be Krubb
>>
hi where are the rooms
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7zzqpdnRbY
>>
>>210657
>tfw was never featured in any of these
>>
>room closed
>>
>>210700
buy a new pc
>>
>>210700
neinhold.github.io/play
>>
https://www.haxball.com/play?c=IX6WYWgrvr0

room active
>>
>>210740
tell mw why is should join
>>
someone leave i want to play
>>
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>The room is full.
>>
>>210878
It's been full for over an hour, what the fuck?
>>
im messoy and im hogging a place in the room
>>
Who wants a space

I will kick some WOATs
>>
that was boils' fault and not pulisic's fault clearly.
>>
>>210895
think we need a webm to review
>>
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>>210888
kick these faggots and let some fun ppl join
>>
>>210897
>kick the best players of the room
????
2 spots left btw
>>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
can we ban all americans apart from el cap
>>
lol
>>
loll
>>
>>210911
>>210924
>>210926
based
>>
>>210924
>>210926
lolll
>>
>>210924
>>210926
>>210927
>>210928
lollll
>>
>>210924
>>210926
>>210927
>>210928
>>210929
lollllll
>>
>>210924
>>210926
>>210927
>>210928
>>210929
>>210932
haxball general lolllll
>>
>>210924
>>210926
>>210928
>>210929
>>210932
>>210934
haxball general lollllllll
>>
is kruddy in the room?
>>
>>210657
Is this the supposed high standard that the boomers like to reminisce about? They're all shit.
>>
>>210955
fucking messoy would be a god in those rooms.
>>
room is full past 1 am
let me in fuckers reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>
is someone larping as Krubd or what the hell am I seeing?
>>
>>210955
>el crap plays for the first time in 6 years
>instantly one of the best players in the room

players like boils and haxblel were the messoys of the time
>>
>room full for 4 straight hours
Is that a new record?
>>
Inzaghy come back bby we miss you.
>>
last breath of room
come
>>
bouncy bouncy nonce eeeh bouncy bouncy nonce eeeh bouncy, ah bouncy nonce ah they is that bro im tellen yall, we aint even doing ouh alright peace
>>
whayo doin nig come at me yshit imma knock your ass over you little slapcheek eeh
>>
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>>211022
>>211029
haha cracking posts
>>
I need to die
>>
>>210981
hax is like sex, you never forget it
>>
>>211088
I've forgotten a lot of sex and a lot of hax so this phrase works on no levels.
>>
>>211088
>>211101
>they've had sex
That's valuable time you could have used to work on your hax skills. This is why you'll always be woats. Your hearts are not in it.
>>
>mfw zoomers in my hax near me
>>
i have more hax wins than times i've had sex
>>
Miss krub
>>
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WqQegyCqAlk

Throwback to the golden days of hax

>all those great players who will never see the haxpitch again

Really got a nigga feelin a certain way
>>
2010-2011: Silver age of haxball. The square and circle ends by the end of 2011, along with it came the arrival of Krubb who brought the golden age of hax with him lasting from 2012 to 2015.
2016: Players began to disappear, rooms were erased and the war against jannies had taken its toll.
2016 - 2019: Krubb vanish from the scene, new players come and go, rooms are gone, few threads are made once in a while but didn't last, as the jannies were never challenged again nor faced with challenges.
2020: Krubb returns, and once again, haxball is alive, with the help of a german autist who notices his hardwork, and decides to set up a server.

How can one man be so based?
>>
>>211085
and like many other things you need to do it will be a day long in the distance in which you accomplish it
>>
>>211277
What have you accomplished so far?
Chasing shadows doesnt really work.
>>
>>211285
your mum l0l
>>
i saw this random link to a discord that said 1v1 tourney, is it legit?
>>
>>211314
stfu Blurp
>>
>"yes, I do simp for Krubb!
How could you tell?
>>
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019257.hbr2
puli kino
>>
Was this really Krubb playing
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019249.hbr2

Or was someone larping as him?
Need the NASA team on this
>>
>>211410
is that messoy on goal? if so, that's not kino at all, scoing against him isn't impressive.

>>211422
again, look at the other team, they have messoy, spuh and hobo. krubb has w and salazar, of course they smacked the shit out of the other team. even cron played well that game.
>>
>>211423
He very much destroyed every good player yesterday, stop pointing out the shitters.
If I remember correctly, he even won with messoy and another shitter as the team while doing all the work.
Kind of doubt if it really was Krubb playing
>>
>>211431
It was pretty much him, can confirm because he turned shit later on
>>
>>211431
>he actually thinks krubb is a bad player

zoomers are so shit at rating haxball ability
>>
>>211439
I honestly can't read him at all, and I have been here for some time now
>>
any man in
>>
>>211445
thats the effect of fetal alcohol syndrome
>>
>>211423
what did i do wrong though
>>
im in the lobby rn with som1, any1 wanna join?
>>
>>211469
1st goal: failed to keep krubb away and shoot the ball away from goal
2nd goal: ran away from messoy and left him no passing lanes (and krubb wide open)
so yeah, as it turns out, quite a bit.
>>
>>211474
Probably not, we usually start playing at like 10PM in europe (about 4 hours from now)
>>
>>211477
alright, ill be there then
>>
>Failed to connect
>>
>>211484
vm zoomers can fuck off
>>
come join, people are here already
>>
rooms up
>>
>>211475
first goal spuh just stopped and didnt clear the ball i obviously couldnt hold him forever neither was i in the position to clear the ball
>>
what do u lot do when ur not playing hax

so bored lads
>>
>>211604
read books
>>
>>211605
true, i got a copy of Schopenhauer's affirmations n essays i havent touched
>>
>>211604
honestly i'm really boring. watch youtube. play fm. work out.
>>
>>211604
think about playing hax
>>
>>211604
I unironically just had sex. Will be on a bit later tonight.
>>
>>211604
Read KINO. Train my neck
>>
>>211619
t. obama
>>
necking myself
>>
>>211632
dont
>>
for the bloopers reel

http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019308.hbr2

3:16
>>
@neinhold please do everyone a favour and permanently ban messoy from the room
>>
>>211647
>boils
>>
for the bloopers reel

http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019310.hbr2

3.40
>>
>>211649
just do captains mode and dont pick him. simple as

t. messoy
>>
FUCK boils
t. rigged
>>
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>>211608
incelic pseud core
>>
Inzaghi return when? Miss that crazy bastard.
>>
Who is the best WOAT?

My vote goes to cuck or blurp
>>
>>211759
cronaldo
>>
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My ping graph during my miss earlier kek
>>
>>211765
pfffftt you can't score with that ping? amateur
>>
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no one has it like this?
>>
>>211774
buy a new pc
>>
>>211780
it is only this room. sometimes it is perfect and sometimes this happens. every other room is ok and doesnt have that spikes.
>>
>bobo
>>
>>211774
>>211781

https://github.com/haxball/haxball-issues/wiki/Connection-Issues
>>
boomer crew where
>>
boomers vs zoomers match when?
>>
>>211822
rigged, yeye, el crap, boils

vs

piguain, pulisic, salazar, that serbian guy

who wins
>>
>>211831
>picking the best boomer team but giving the zoomers pulisic(!) and salazar

at least try and make it fair
>>
>>211831
>pulisic on the zoomer team
hahaha what the fuck?
>>
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019342.hbr2
more puli kino
THIS TIME AGAINST A GOOD TEAM
>>
>>211831
t. pulisic
>>
>>211837
hobo doesn't even rush at you. that's 100% his fault, you did nothing special.
>>
>>211837
hobomessi you need to rush out way, way earlier there; ren had the pass covered
>>
>>211841
>>211842
>don't even notice how i completely bodied rigged
>>
>>211844
lol what? you did no such thing, in fact you had just lost the ball to him seconds before.
>>
>>211841
>>211841
that is why i have 37 defence rating
>>
>>211849
cope
>>
what's the password?
>>
>>211915
shaw
>>
>>211915
>can't read the OP
Yeah, you're not gonna make it here with the wolves, kid.
>>
rude
>>
>>211837
For me, it's 03:32
>>
>>211855
38 now i guess
>>
COME BACK SEB
>>
Remember to buy high and sell low lads
Goodnight
>>
>>
>>
>>212012
He's the last line of defense and instead of clearing the ball to the corner he tries to block ren? What the fuck?
>>
>>211439
Krubb is basically Loco. Good at the game, quick fingers, but lacking crucial haxball IQ.
>>
>>212045
krubb is better than loco. loco's lack of haxball iq is much more severe. and i wouldn't say he's "good at the game", at least not yet.
>>
loco is based though and thats all that counts
>>
>>212045
>krubb
>lacking haxbll iq
imagine being this retarded
>>
>>212112
>>212112

for someone that's been playing as long as Krubb has, his positional instincts and decision making are pretty bad - he doesn't offer enough support to the attack when he's keeping goal, doesn't have a good grasp on knowing when to leave the ball of a teammate that is in a better position to advance the play, his choice of passes is no better than random... the only think that I can say that he does well is his positioning as striker when the ball's in the corner.

Technique-wise, sure he's not bad when he's "sober", but even then I probably wouldn't put him any higher than 10th or 9th best in terms of the server regulars. Hence why he is [rightly] considered an average player by most of his peers. Yeah he can make a great play now and then, but so can Cronaldo or hobomessi or pulisic - performing sporadically better than your mean level's something that anyone can do, in most areas of life, never mind haxball.
>>
>>212335
You have clearly only seen him at his worst, but I can't blame you because he rarely plays, and the man has been playing totally messed up lately and been mentally unstable.
His prediction and positioning is top notch and he makes some of the best decisions striking-wise and pass wise, but man does he also make the worst ones at times.
Hope he will calm down with the drinking and play like he used to, because I have seen what he is capable of when focused on a game
>>
>>211619
Having sex with your gf doesn't count Sal
>>
>>212335
ren

>>212353
rigged
>>
>>212361
ugh is my prose really that easy to pick out?
>>
>>212335
>>212353
Based scouts
>>
>>211494
I am litterally older than you.
>>
Krubb's intervention when
>>
>>212423
>playing videogames over the age of 14
ISHYGDDT
>>
>>212335
ren scouting reports for everyone when? would really help me in my /hax/ bets.
>>
>>212440
well, if you have any requests...
>>
>>212353
Who tf is making these posts.
>>
>>212471
krubb
>>
>>212335
u really gon put hobo next to puli and cron lol
>>
>>212476
A quick look at the stats tells me Cron and hobo both win 45% of their games. Unfortunately the other stats can't really be compared because Cron mostly plays goalkeeper, but he's no longer as bad as he was a few months ago and he's not much worse than hobo. puli is clearly worse than both though, I don't even have to look up his stats to know that.
>>
>>212471
krubb has made about 95% of posts in this thread
>>
https://i.4cdn.org/sp/1610875161287.webm

Name the hax player
>>
>>212493
Krubb
>>
>>212488
To be fair, cron's stats got reset a few months ago. If you include his first 600+ games he's at about 40% win rate overall (same as pulisic). I would wager that if we could look at hobo's win % in the same timeframe it would also be higher than his current overall win rate.

For reference, krubb's win rate is 43%.
>>
>>212499
So, cronaldo's first account had a 38% win rate and his new account has 45%. Honestly that's still a pretty impressive improvement. Consider that we haven't been recruiting many new players and that everyone is getting better, you'd expect people's win rates to stay consistent if everyone is improving at the same rate, as they're essentially a zero sum game. Or if bad players improve a lot and good players don't at all then everyone would converge towards 50% but that's clearly not happening. So cronaldo's improvement is still impressive, and while it's possible that hobo on a new account would have a higher win rate, I doubt it'd be higher by 7% the way cronaldo's is. For reference, hobo with a 7% improvement would be at 52%, just below Neinhold (53%), which the eye test tells me is not the case.
>>
>>212499
>>212499
There is also Punished Krubb with a 47 percentage win rate
Krubb (ban lag) with 46 percent win rate
a krubb with 44 percentage win rate
and one with 71 percentage win rate
>>
>>212512
Krubb (hotspot lag) 55 percentage aswell
I feel like the stats should be reset every month or half a year
>>
>>212493
Salazar
>>
>>212512
I'm pretty sure the one with 71 percent wins is a result of Nein's programming fucking up. There's also a blurp with 75% win rate (lol), a KAKA with 63%, and that infamous boils account that is now named de gay. Something went wrong somewhere and several accounts got the wrong name. Many people also have their playing time glitched.
>>
>>212493
boils
>>
>>212520
Only 36. I was saying Kru-urns.
>>
ONE SPOT LEFT JOIN NOW
>>
>>212488
puli is in a totally different league to hobo what are you talking about lmao lol
>>
>>212530
t. puli
No one seriously thinks you're that much better than hobo.
>>
@neinhold add some more auto-admins please
>>
>>212544
KATAI I'M ADMIN NOW COME BACK
>>
room up
>>
>>212518
All stats (except playing time for some older accounts) are correct.

>>212544
k
>>
>>212591
reset stats or make it a "season" thing
>>
>>212600
You can reset your own stats if you want. Why reset it for everyone?
>>
>>212610
Because there are multiple stat profiles of the same people
>>
>>212614
thats always gonna be the case though
>>
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019410.hbr2
puli high iq assist
>>
>>212632
Stop hyping yourself up puli, it's embarrassing. That goal is 100% lembas' fault.
>>
>>212635
anti-american seethe
>>212632
great assist bro
>>
>>212636
t. blurp
>>
imagine playing haxball instead of watching the snooker
>>
>>212659
where do i watch snooker
>>
http://neinhold.github.io/19421

0:35
>>
>>212670
bbc
>>
File: basedamerican.webm (2.88 MB, 1164x462)
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>>212671
>>
>>212659
This is such a ren post.
>>
>>212683
and here i was thinking it was boils
>>
does anyone elses heart beat really fast and hands get sweaty when they get a chance to score
>>
>>212700
no I just score
>>
File: hax boomers.png (1.07 MB, 4140x3552)
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>>
>>212704
people on this image who are still playing need to reevaluate their lives urgently.
>>
>>212700
nah lad its just press x nothin more than that
>>
http://sync.coconono.org/r/sp_sync_dos
>>
>>212704
>tfw mine was made and it was a fuckinh crab
>>
>>212718
there goes my savings account
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
>>
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>>212707
>>
>>212734
based swede
>>
So today confirms
El Capitano = Krubb > Contagious = Piguain
>>
>>212457
I would like a report from you ren :D
( also you should do some scouting reports fort everyone this could be fun)
>>
File: 1399421547121.jpg (20 KB, 271x266)
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But more importantly, who has the best music taste?
>>
>>212769
it was pel until he posted some gook pop
>>
>>212769
pulisic and it's not even close
https://youtu.be/uXzmQGNxYYg
>>
>>212769
I do.
>>
>>212769
Obama
>>
>>212769
>me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT8ytbk5UZA
>>
>>212769
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLsDmm35GEc
>>
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>>212769
me lol
>>
>>212769
https://youtu.be/9st3JkaE3Kw
>>
>>212795
>baccara
n1
>>
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>>212777
>Yaeji
>gookpop
>>
>>212777
trips of truch here
>>
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obama is elite
>>
>>212830
Looks like I did my job properly. I'm curious to see the breakdown for the Obama-Rigged-Aabbcc-Rat vs W-Ren-Katai-Someone else game if you don't mind thx. Should be 1-0
>>
>>212835
No, a goalkeeper will ideally be more involved than that, but I don't blame you as 80+% of /hax/ doesn't know that either.
>>
>Krubb finally redeemed himself
So why is it that I only feel fear now
>>
>>212839
Look up the other game I requested and we'll see. In a a game as lopsided as that there's nothing for a goalkeeper to do without getting in the way tard...
>>
I refuse to believe there's this many autists obsessed with Krubb. The only conclusion I can come to is that all this Krubb shit is being posted by him and maybe UJEE. Whatever the case, it really needs to stop.
>>
>>212845
>who is cest
>who is inzaghi
>who is the rest of the fucking retards
You literally see this fucking shit in every old thread and the rooms he plays in
>>
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>>212844
The other game is the same exact story.

>In a a game as lopsided as that there's nothing for a goalkeeper to do without getting in the way tard...
Very rude to say that to someone who has been playing for much longer than you (and is much better). Any good haxball team attacks with 4 players. Again, just because most of /hax/ doesn't do it doesn't mean it's wrong. I bet you can't find a single game where Piguain goes goalkeeper and has this little impact in the game.
>>
>>212846
>You literally see this fucking shit in every old thread and the rooms he plays in
well yeah, because he's behind them
>>
>>212848
Look at that pass to kick ratio, just beautiful. Each one deftly picking out an open winger to keep the puck in and the attack alive, blues of course unable to start any attack all game long as a result. There's something to be said for economy of motion... I'm not sitting on the goal line the whole time man
>>
>>212846
>he plays in
fuck off, Krubb.
We know it's you
>>
>>212849
Maybe, but changing flag for every post for years seems unlikely.
>>
>>212851
Yeah man, 12 kicks in a 7min game is totally normal. You obviously played perfectly and won both of those games as a result. Ren doesn't have a clue what he's talking about, don't listen to him
>>
>>212854
no less likely than several people following him around over the course of a decade because of a game
>>
>>212848
how the hell did red win this game, and with 64% in the opponent's third?
>>
>>212860
You follow him around putting him down, for how long now?
How does anything seems less likely to you? Because it doesn't align with your thought-process and what you think is real and unreal?
>>
>>212867
>>>/x/
>>
>>212859
>>212863
Watch the replay and pick out any moment where you'd have me do something different that's not nitpicky as fuck.
>>
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>>212851
>>212859

Got to agree with ren here. Here's an example of piguain's GK heatmap in a dominant game.
>>
>>212871
the "pass" you make literally 7 seconds in
>>
>>212873
>overlel only scoring 1 after being carried by pig and rigged against obama,cron spuh and loco2
lmao, literally a 4/10 player
>>
>>212873
Same amount of passes.
>>212874
Sorry for calling you a tard but I'm not going to put myself in the same situations Pig is willing to as I know I'm far more likely to lose the ball with no one behind me. I understand my limitations and play in accordance with that + what I think gives us the best chance to win.
>>
>>212880
>Same amount of passes
nearly twice the match length tbf

>>212880
no worries. sorry for the speech marks i put around 'pass'
>>
Reminder that last night neinholdbot predicted a team to win 5-0 and they ended up losing
>>
>>212888
Neinholdbot is only slightly better than flipping a coin, so I'm not surprised.
>>
>>212880
>I'm not going to put myself in the same situations Pig is willing to as I know I'm far more likely to lose the ball with no one behind me
But that's the whole point. Your performances in those dominant games are not impressive because in reality you could put a blind pigeon as goalkeeper and they'd still have a good chance at winning. Once you play a game where your team is not overpowered that lack of a 4th member on attack can and will more often than not make a difference. Again, I don't blame you for not playing better or not recognizing this, but it's the reality. The goalkeeper is just as important on offense as he is on defense. And a player, in any position, only having 12 touches in 7 minutes (or 8 in 4) means something went horribly wrong somewhere.
But again, this is transversal to most of /hax/ as barely anyone actually understands this.
>>
>>212888
Piguain never uses the same save so teams with him on them don't take him into account
>>
>>212904
same for katai, they're two good players who the bot consistently underrates, creating massive issues in the predictions.
>>
>>212888
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019317.hbr2
>>
>>212906
>katai
>good
>>
>>212907
Yeah, boils and whoever booo was (he was good) on new accounts on the team the bot underrated, and yey with inflated stats from playing when everyone was a woat, on the team the bot overrated. It makes perfect sense.
>>
>>212906
>>212908
>>
>>212888
it's actually 20% better than a coin flip and the score predictor is 300% (THREE HUNDRED PERCENT) better than a 30 sided die (assuming all scores are uniformly distributed, w-which they clearly are).
>>
>>212916
That's a fancy way of saying a bot with all the stats from nearly 20000 (twenty thousand games) can just barely predict 60% of games correctly. It's shit.
>>
>>212903
I was involved in the attack, I don't know what to tell you. Watch the replay. I kept it it in the zone multiple times. I would prefer if people played the game like hockey with two D-men and there were more of a cycle but it doesn't happen so I'm not interested in losing a wall battle relatively deep and having no one prepared to pull back and cover for me.
>>
>>212919
oh shit did i miss the 20,000th game?
anyway a 60% prediction rate is nothing to be sniffed at. i bet most users wouldn't get anywhere near that based on instinct
>>
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>>212923
>oh shit did i miss the 20,000th game?
nvm misread your post
>>
Why are you retards turning this place into a cancerous circlejerk
>>
>>212921
protip: stop kicking on the wall battles if you don't have someone behind you. now you don't have to worry about losing them. easy.
>>
>>212457
aabbcc
>>
>>212929
because /hax/ is a echo chamber
>>
>>212929
go to bed faggot
>>
Mmmmmmmm, hagball goo d
>>
>>
>>212934
I'm past my prime...heh
>>
>>212934

aabbcc is a player who I feel like should win more often than he does - he's a very skilful player and excellent compared to his peers at finishing chances, and can manipulate the ball in the corner pretty well too. In some respects he's an improved version of boils who tilts less, but I think he has a few holes in his game (which are nonetheless fixable).
Namely, he seems to have a pathological aversion to passing the ball backwards, even when the DM is open in the attacking corner, which hamstrings his team's attack sometimes, especially when dealing with low block defences. Secondly, whilst his defensive positioning is good, I don't think he's as difficult an opponent when attacking him in the corner as he could be; similarly he's easier to beat along the walls than other players of comparable strength.
A good player all told though, and an ideal player to have when you expect to play on the counter for most of the game.

>>212767

Alas I don't think I've seen you play in the past week or so much, I'll need to refresh my memory before I risk making a fool of myself Jean!
>>
>>213095
+1 for the passing back to DM. He's improved slightly in this regard but could still do it a lot more. It's weird as well because he's happy to get into the DM position and be ready to receive the backpass, but doesn't utilise it much himself when in the corner. Still, I'm always pleased to have him on my team
>>
Ren is shit and should focus on playing rather than writing useless shit he has no idea about on chinese board
>>
>>213110
A wise man once told me never to take advice from those who refuse to follow it themselves, sorry Krubb
>>
>>213121
I am beyond and above you, and I very much proved that yesterday to everyone in the room.
I'd like for you to shut up and instead show me next time when I play that you can handle me in a game.
Shush now, your words are pointless, show your worth through action.
>>
>>213122
why are you stats shit then
>>
>>213130
Because there are multiple profiles of me, I struggled with lag and have been drinking excessively without a care for my health, nor a care about trying or being focused or helping my team.
That's different now, and I have proven that and will continue to do so, do shut up shitters like you, dumb statfag.
>>
Is katai a boomer or a zoomer?
>>
>>213139
zoomer
>>
>>213139
Zoomer but acts like a boomer.
>>
what makes one a /hax/ boomer or /hax/ zoomer?
>>
>>213159
Whether you played in the old /hax/ rooms (pre-covid) or not. Most people playing are zoomers.
>>
hax boomers spend their time reminiscing about the good old days of flsdh whilst wistfully overrating the abilities of players who played 4 or 5 years ago. hax zoomers are those who started playing this game because of covid. a hax bazoomer is an old player who still plays today.
>>
>>213163
piginaspacesuit > piguain
>>
>>213169
thats not even up for debate, we will never see anyone even close to the level of myro ever again
>>
>>213095
Do our other main strikers: boils, inzaghi, salazar, neinhold.
>>
>>213169
Do we have any vids of that guy, curious about how good he was
>>
Where do I download some auto-aim bots for hax? Asking for a friend.
>>
Krabb plays like he's building a highlight reel for a youtube compilation that no one will ever watch.
>>
>>213172

forgetting deer and haxman, who is probably one of the best strikers when he plays in that position too.
>>
>>213169
>The haxball Pele
This guy would get pocketed by helmet in today's game
>>
>>213172
salazar and nein aren't really strikers
>>
>>213179
How is that a bad thing
>>
>>213183
literally who
>>
one is the best strikers wales has ever produced, the other is a man who plays hax.
>>
>>213183
haxman is BTEC rigged
>>
deer is a quality player but not active enough to get widespread recognition
>>
>>213186
Because he does retarded shit like not tracking back, leaving all of his teammates exposed, and trying to play completely contrary to the flow of the game. Like if Krubb stays up front, his teammates rush back to defend, THEN Krabb runs in to save the day right as his teammates are launching a counter to pass to no one because Krabb is out of position. Or, when Krabb is in position to defend he'll just suddenly rush forward, leaving all of the space behind him. I really think when Krubb has the ball and he's in attack, then suddenly turns around and passes back to an unsuspecting teammate he's mentally editing his HAX TEAMWORK GOALS | 2020 | HIGHLIGHTS | DESPACITO HD video.

I think a good idea is to be predictable to your teammates, but be unpredictable to your opponents. If that can be achieved when we all play together. Krabb has seemingly mastered the opposite.
>>
>>213197
I literally did none of that yesterday
>>
>>213197
State your name and I will join the room today when it is active.
>>
>>213202
Tek
>>
>>213204
Join the room today.
>>
>>213197
>>213204
And if the room won't be active then you can check out this replay from yesterday and see how your claims are false.
Although I do imagine I would had done some of the things you stated when I have been drunk.

http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019426.hbr2
>>
Okay so my m8 Pig meets his wife Overkill and they have kid.
Sadly the kid is born without a body or neck, it's just a head. He named his son Jordi.

Jordi found life very hard growing up. When he was in school the kids used him as a football. He was also pretty ugly and an autist so he never had a gf. Jordi's Father decided this is no way for his son to be treated as he simply couldn't handle the banter.

Jordi's Uncle Cest was a tutor so his mother overkill decided it would be better for Jordi to get homeschooling.Time flew by and when Jordi turned 18 his dad Pig said "son , I know life isn't easy.. but you have to go outside sometime instead of haxxing 24/7"

"b-b-but Dad" Jordi replied in his high pitched homosexual sounding voice

"No son, it must happen" Pig replied, asserting his dominance over Jordi

Pig took Jordi down to the local pub to meet the LADS for his birthday.
Since Jordi had just turned 18 he thought "fuck it #yolo mite as well 'ave a beer"

The Bartender handed him a Bud light. Magically as he slurped his body began to grow back. Pig and his mean ass crew known as 'the circle' stood up in amazement and encouraged him to drink more and more. Soon he had a Full human body and
became overwhelmed with joy. He couldn't hide his excitement and ran out into the street but suddenly, he was hit by a speeding 3-wheeler and tragically died.

I guess he should of quit while he was still ahead.
>>
that reminds me - overkill is another good striker. just a shame he always gets paired with below-par teammates who don't get the best out of him.
>>
>>213209
overkek is a shit player, worse than inzaghi
>>
>>213209
the only man to make piguain seethe. deserves a medal, tbqh.
>>
>>212830
>>212848
>>212873
where are you getting these stats from?
>>
>>213227
https://haxball-replay-analyzer.github.io/
>>
>>213227
>>213229

To add on to this:

to save a replay from neinhold.github.io (so you can upload it to the replay analyser), delete everything before the IP address in the replay url

e.g http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019442.hbr2 becomes 85.159.209.166/replays/00019442.hbr2
>>
>>213207
>>213207
Why don't you always play like this Krap?
Maybe you wouldn't be hated on so much then
>>
>Ctrl+f krubb
>Result 1 out of 53
Get a life you losers
>>
>>213236
At least half of those are from Kr*bb himself.
>>
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>>213236
Makes me want to quit
>>
>>213229
neat
>>213232
Fix this already nein you lazy bugger
>>
>>213242
Is this reverse psychology?
>>
>>213243
fix what?
>>
>>213258
>>
how many push ups should i do per day
>>
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Here you go fags. These were the first 40 that came to mind, so I know I forgot people, let me know and you'll be on the next one. I also know the positions are kind of random at times and I really don't care.
>>
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>>213272
lold at yeye

Good shit mane
>>
>>213272
Bless
>>
>>213272
Does GRF @ pulisic stand for griefer?
>>
>>213284
or game ruining forward
>>
>>213272
Nice
>>
>>213272
tip top stuff
>>
>>213272
nice work, though some of the positions are a bit off I think.

the rigged one is the best
>>
>>213272
>Grumpy the Dwarf for Katai
heh...
>>
I can't join servers. Is there a way without fiddling with ports, cause im an idiot...
>>
>>213272
Honestly I think I'm way more useful as a DM than as a GK, but since there seems to be not many people willing to do that job, what can you do?

-Cron
>>
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>>213272
could have used this one since this is the original hobomessi picture but its ok
>>
>>213284
>>213287
i am neither of those things
in fact, i have scored many clutch goals
what does GRF stand for >>213272
>>
>>213320
>what does GRF stand for
game ruining forward
>>
>>213323
how
>>
>>213324
by being a game ruining forward
>>
bump
>>
>>213095
i understand i think i'll play today so you will have the oportunity to see my play =)
>>
>>213327
i don't see how i ruin games
>>
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i miss him so much
>>
>>213272
>Loco2: AMC
Should be False 1
>>
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>>213381
got ya senpai
>>
>room full

kick some afks
>>
>>213407
Kick el magiko, that ungrateful fuck.
>>
rank these six

rat
de gay
nikitas
pel
obama
napalm
>>
>>213422
napalm > rat >= de gay > nikitas = pel = obama
>>
>>213422
napalm >> pel > de gay > rat > nikitas > obama
>>
>>213428
Correct
>>
>>213422
pel > rest

t. not pel
>>
>>213422
napalm > de gay > rat > pel > nikitas > obama
>>
>>213428
>>213431
>>213437
ban napalm
>>
>>213272
When COVID started I played for a little while and was on the verge of quitting but then the Polish bro made my avatar and I kinda felt obliged to continue playing, fast forward almost a year and now the whole sequence has happened again, kek
>>
>>213272
UJEE's avatar looks interesting, is it supposed to symbolise something else in addition to being AFK?
>>
>>213459
his 9" dick
>>
>>213272
Change Ujee's position to Left back
>>
>>213272
>ABC with the AEK crest
>Jean with double Spanish flag and French crest
>SHM with the Bully crest
>yey
top kek
>>
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019474.hbr2
puli and de gay kino
>>
>>213422
changed my mind, de gay is shit
>>
how is this room always fucking full uh fuckers
let me innnn reeeeeeeeeeeee
>>
Is there a nation with lower average haxball ability than spain?
>>
>>213487
tell me who this is and ill kick
>>
>>213501
usa
>>
>>213507
BASED
>>
>>213507
Very based
>>
>>213507
they have el crap and obama at least
>>
rank these seven

rat
napalm
jean
salazar
abu
boils
inzaghi
>>
>>213522
rank these seven > rest
simple as
>>
>>213422
obama > rat > de gay = pel >> nikitas > napalm

>>213522
inzaghi > abu > salazar = rat > jean >>> napalm >>>>> boils
>>
>>213522
abu = salazar = rat = jean > inzaghi = boils ?? napalm
>>
>>213522
fuck of with this ranking shit for gods sake
>>
>>213522

napalm > jean > salazar > abu > rat > boils

inzaghi could could at any point on the list depending on the day
>>
https://www.strawpoll.me/42470258
>>
>>213272
>no messoy

turned down again
>>
>>213522
jean=salazar>rat>boils>inzaghi>abu>boils
>>
>>213545
i just voted myself ngl
>>
not regretting my vote for pel
>>
>>213545
>https://www.strawpoll.me/42470258
>no capitano
Fuck off SPIC
>>
>>213559
forgot to put him on, but a vote for the 2nd pel is a vote for capitano
>>
>>213272
who am i?
>t. nikitas
>>
>>213529
I didn't make this ranking but thank you. Rest of you are cunts. Also let me back in.
>>
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>>
>>213575
it isnt tho
>>
like 5 spaces or something
>>
>>213585
more like 8 or 9 now
>>
spuh is my NFP
>>
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>cucked out of captain
>>
>>213597
non favourite player?
>>
>>213602
NEW
>>
Easiest way to identify woats is to ask them their opinion on captains mode
>>
kick a scrub
>>
Kick whoever kicked me (probably magiko)
>>
Where are all the French haxballers?
>>
>>213428
>>213431
>>213433
>>213437
>>213529
>>213534
>>213544
>>213552
thanks for the votes, tier list will be coming soon.
>>
>>213616
tier list of the bang average players of /hax/?
>>
>>213620
no, I was undecided between some of the aforementioned
>>
>>213616
fuck off we have had hundreds of them and they have all been subjective opinions.
ZOOMERS OUT
>>
we should have a tierlist to rank the tierlists desu
>>
>>213623
some lad put me on the "good" players
>>
http://www.haxball.com/replay?v=3#http://85.159.209.166/replays/00019500.hbr2
2:45-3:03

>overkill
>>
krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb krubb
>>
File: heh.png (55 KB, 1342x564)
55 KB
55 KB PNG
:_;
>>
>>213643
pretty sure i made this
>>
>>213648
gj u have autism
>>
>>213643
>Drunk crew
>Krubb

checks out
>>
>>213653
came here to say this xD
>>
>>213611
Jean is here most days, the other french dude has disappeared though
>>
based ujee
>>
based krubb
>>
Keyed players of the day :

messoy
overkill
ujee

Locked players of the day :

inzaghi
benis
pulisic
>>
>>213659
>benis
>inzaghi
I miss them bros
>>
>>213674
both killed by bullies
>>
>>213659
>inzaghi
>benis
they didnt even play today you spastic
>>
>>213674
I really miss Inzaghi. Benis can get fucked though.
>>
>>213678
they're both locked by default
>>
FAGGOT
>>
>>213686
wrong thread lol
>>
>>213522
>napalm, salazar, jean, boils
>abu, inzaghi
>rat
In that order imo. First 4 are slightly better than the rest. All pretty close though
>>
^clueless
>>
>>213699
t. rat
>>
>>213698
shit list
>>
>>213725
now THIS is rat
>>
>>213522
Jean > boils > sala > abu > inxaghi > rat > napalm
>>
>>213643
tfw on there with multiple personas
>>
Still banned from posting images on /vm/. Someone make new thred ples
>>
>>214048
Krabb is the guy making the threads, wait for him.
>>
>>214064
>>214064
>>214064
>>214064
>>214064
new thread
>>
>>214065
lol



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