Which race does the best pizza?
>>88985631Industry planted opinion. We can talk about fantasy worlds in general without including a hook for data scrapers and marketers
>>88985631Alright, generic fantasy. Elves, Dwarves, changelings, orks, humans, etc.
>>88985668There is no generic fantasy.
>>88985587Elves and it's not even close.
>>88985587The only correct answer is Chicagoans.>that's not a raceAre you absolutely sure about that?
>>88985671Then how are we all posting about it?
>>88985587halflings of course
>>88985702Because you don't play.
What about burgs tho?
>>88985684Came here to post this, fuck jew yorkers.
If you get a dwarf pizza, you're getting deep pan square slices. Mining, smithing, and the like take a lot of calories to fuel, so you'll find a lot of cheese and mushrooms for toppings, as well as cured meats such as pepperoni and hams. Fun fact: Dwarves are the inventors of the stuffed crust, and will judge EVERYONE on what they stuff their crusts with.
>>88985587Well, Italians are obviously the best at making pizza IRL, and the natural equivalent of Italians in D&D is kobolds or perhaps apelings, so I'd go with that.>>88985702Because we assumed you meant D&D fantasy.
>>88985746>Mining, smithing, and the like take a lot of calories to fuel, so you'll find a lot of cheese and mushrooms for toppingsMushrooms contain almost no calories (for humans). Humans don't digest chitin.
>>88985730Halflings do the best burgers, as they alone have realised that the best burgers are built wide as a motherfucker instead of tall like everyone else.
>>88985751>Italians are obviously the best at making pizza IRLItalian-Americans maybe.
>>88985684The absolute state of outlanders.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_ZSHVPsqU8
>>88985760>the best burgers are built wide as a motherfucker instead of talltruth and wisdom
>>88985587Orcs make the ultimate meat lover's pizza, just a mountain of meat piled on top. They call it long pig, not sure what they mean by that but it's delicious.
>>88985763That is a baffling opinion. I suppose there's no accounting for taste.
>>88985784>the ultimate meat lover's pizza, just a mountain of meat piled on topDisgusting. The tastes and textures all mix up so you don't get to savour any.>>88985760They're tall because that's the only way you can get a lot of varied toppings in there and spread them all equally. Wide and short would just be a very big basic bitch burger.
>>88985792American pizza is so different than Neapolitan style pizza it should be called something else t b h. Italian pizza is based on having few quality ingrediends, American pizza is about tons of stringy mystery cheese.t. Spaghetti
>>88985836In the UK we just call it American style pizza lol
>>88985826>very big basic bitch burger.a good burger isn't about toppings, it's about good meat. you only need salad, onion, tomatoes and a good sauce.
Orcs make shit pizza because they cook them low and slow, always ending up with a cracker crust.This is because orcs are the absolute masters of bbq. Every tribe has a marinade that is a closely guarded secret, and duels of honour have been fought over dry rubs vs wet marinades. One orc tribe in particular was nearly wiped out after a young warrior accidentally slighted a rival chieftan's cornbread during a feast, and thus the survivors fled to the nearby city of Riverwane. There they decided to pool what resources they had and bought a run-down warehouse which they turned into a bbq pit. Now the Gorefist tribe has grills and pits throughout the kingdom, and are considered one of the wealthiest families in the land.
>>88985845it should be called cheesedisc or something
>>88985863In all fairness if we go down this road we'd also have to call football groundflop.
>>88985836I don't understand why America is supposed to have mystery cheese and not Italy. Unlike Italy, most of America is pastureland.
>>88985760A man of taste
>>88985908>not knowing handeggThe newfaggotry is execrable
>>88985917Different marketing styles. Italy (and a lot of Europe) markets by saying "here's this unique heritage stuff which you should pay more for", while the US markets by saying "who fucking cares where this is from or what it is, I'm giving it to you cheaply and it tastes okay".
>>88985933I am aware of the amended name for rugby, that game played by men who like odd shaped balls.
>>88985976Yeah, you've never heard of American farmer's markets.
When people think of wild elves and pizza, they usually think of a pile of wilted bazil and spinach on top of a thin crust. This is because they've been sold on the High elf pizza and think all elves are prissy little divas with their food. In truth wild elves don't go for pizza much. They prefer calzones. Wild elves are nomadic in nature, and thus prefer something they can eat on the move or high in the treetops while on the hunt without the risk of the toppings slipping off and giving away your position. A typical wild elf calzone is usually stuffed with lots of wild mushrooms, herbs, and fresh game, and plenty of cheese to fill the space between.
>>88985989What the actual fuck do American farmer's markets have to do with meat lover's pizzas.
>>88985908divegrass is perfect already>>88985953>ProletarianYou're the pleb. Toppings is how you make up for shitty ingredients. High cuisine is entirely about choosing quality materials that stand out on their own.
>>88985976>here's this unique heritage stuffThat's complete nonsense, you pay for good food.
>>88986033What the fuck do "meat lover's pizzas" have to do with anything at all I've said?
>>88986086You pay for a pretty name on your purchase. There's no objective reason a recently established manufacturer can't make cheese just as well or better than some bumfuck Italian workshop established in the days of Charlemagne.
>>88986116You are a plebeian who's never eaten good food in your entire life. You can't even fathom the idea of good produce and your tastebuds have been obliterated by chemical additives. Please stop making a fool of yourself.
>>88986151That's a lot of assumptions in such a short post, Luigi.
>>88985684Nice cake you got there
>>88986166They're not assumptions, it's how you Americans eat. Then you cope by saying that all there is to our food is "tradition" because shitty marketing is all you can conceive that goes beyond the slop you eat. It's such a sadness because you will never recover.
>>88986151I’ve had food from all over the world. 90% of murrica food is crap. But tasty crap. But for an anon to compare any other pizza to real Italian pizza is madness. The best pizza I’ve had is from real Italians living in Australia. I’ve never been to Italy but I imagine it’s even better there.
>>88986207One of the few decent things this country has is the food. Italian pizza follows the principles of any other quality food you find here: good produce made on strict standards. There's a place here known for produce, you buy tomatoes that you can eat raw. You don't even wanna add oil or salt to them because they're so good on their own. Americans generally fail to understand the fact that shitty cuisine is "tasty" because there's a lot of junk piled on top of shitty ingredients, while good cooking is based on selecting few quality ingredients. It's much harder to find, especially since Italy is filled with tourist traps that aim at selling junk at foreigners. I can't stomach "tasty" crap and it just makes me sad that people have such low standards.
>>88986070>High cuisine is entirely about choosing quality materials that stand out on their own.High cuisine is all about experimentation and looking for original flavours. Once you've had one simple burger with good ingredients, you've had them all. Might as well eat nutritious paste from that point onwards.
>>88986267>High cuisine is all about experimentationYour idea of high cuisine is TV show crap.
>>88986195There's no objective difference between fresh, organically grown food from America and from Italy, but there's a huge marketing difference because American farmers can't claim a thousand years of continuous operation. This doesn't affect the actual food anyhow, but the sheeple love hearing it.
>>88986275My idea of high cuisine comes from the people like Claus Meyer and Heston Blumenthal, in whose restaurant I had the privilege to eat.
>>88986302Italian standards for food are much stricter than the USA. You have no such things as DOC, DOP, DOCG standards which Italian farmers are bound to observe and ceaselessly need to fight against under ((EU)) pressures in ordrer to protect themselves. it's why our wine is the best and our food is the best. I'm not enamoured with this country but this is an objective truth and I'll take no ignorant yankee's dismissal of it.
>>88986098Because we're discussing why American pizzas focused on mystery cheese even though most of America is pastures.>>88986086It's marketing you illiterate sod.
>>88986339Yeah krauts are known for good taste. Have you been offered a raw. sliced ox's heart tomato by some semi-illiterate peasant in Apulia?
>>88986344If I started to list all the food standards in the USA, I'd run out of space.>>88986358I thought we were discussing why Italians are so desperate to put down American pizza despite having never been to America and knowing very little about it.
>>88986382>I thought we were discussing why Italians are so desperate to put down American pizza despite having never been to America and knowing very little about it.Well, that's certainly not what I was discussing.
>>88986382>If I started to list all the food standards in the USA, I'd run out of space.You literally sell honey that has no honey in it LOL
>>88986388But this is certainly what the discussion turned into
>>88986417This sounds like an urban legend, but if it's not, the standards would require the manufacturer to state that on the package.
>>88986419It's more about Americans having garbage taste in food and coping extra hard
>>88986433We get it that you know very little about America, no need to recapitulate that.
>>88986267>High cuisine is all about experimentation and looking for original flavoursThe ritalin generation.
>>88986431They sure do state that on the label, but you can't do that in Italy. If you call something "Parmesan" it needs to be made in Emilia Romagna according to strict production standards because usage of the term is protected. Same goes for wine, ham, cheese and any other thing that isn't the mass produced industrial slop you guys love to eat. Farmers fight tooth and nail to preserve the standards against pressures to liberalize them because the second they're dropped you immediately get shit from Turkey or countries outside of the EU. It benefits both producers and consumers, and that's the stuff you find in supermarkets. Locally there are tons of people who make their own produce that's based on what's grown locally. I don't buy my oil from shelves, I get it from neighbors. I have an old neighbor who brings me aurugula, an old lady who brings me figs every summer. I've helped a friend pick cherry tomatoes off his father's crops, and we'd sit down washing them under a hose and eating them raw. When I was a kid my whole neighborhood was filled with the scent of tomato because people would make their own preserves and they'd put the bottles in basins outside. I've had a girlfriend from Sicily who lived in a place with a local tradition where they'd lay down tomato pulp in the sun on long wooden boards to cook in the sun, and then they'd throw pasta on it and eat it together. I've eaten buffalo mozzarella picked right off the water. You don't get this shit in restaurants, and I've eaten in plenty across the country and abroad. It's a whole layer of quality that you yanks can't even imagine, but you've eaten some crap burger filled with sugary sauce and have the gall to talk shit. I'm just trying to educate you.
>>88985587Humans, because elves invented it and humans had to fix their fucked up cuisine for them.
>>88985836We use mozzelera and provolone in our pizza with shredded sharp cheddar for color. Some people use parmesan. If you're talking about the fake cheese slices, we don't use that on pizza.
>>88985587If we assume generic fantasy we have the following:1) Humans make decent pizzas but not something you'd go "WOW!" at2) Elves make artisan pizzas. Probably some gold covered stuff with truffles. Delicious but I'll cost you an arm and a leg. Also probably sweet pizzas.3) Halflings make giant pizzas with everything. Mushrooms, meat, vegetables. Also probably put pineapple on pizza. Which is delicious if done correctly. I mean fresh pineapple on greasy, salty pizza to cut through it. Sweet and salty is a God combination used as far back as Greece and is still used in many parts of Asia, from India to China, even Vietnam. But the French and Italians went retarded on food so we in the West we don't do it anymore. Ever tried a stuffed pig with fruits? We should do it more. However, if you're using canned pineapple you deserve to go to the boiler room of hell.4) Dwarves make the best mushroom pizzas. Probably beer dough with a high alcohol content, so you'll tipsy from just eating it.5) Orcs and Goblins make the best meat lovers. You'll get the meat sweats after eating it. But you also have a chance of it being people meat.
>>88986842>We use a blend of different types of cheese we call arbitrary namesYeah, I call that mystery cheese. If you say "mozzarella" and I see yellow stuff I don't eat it. The sheer amount you use is also disgusting.
>>88986848>But the French and Italians went retarded on food so we in the West we don't do it anymore.Again, you're just ignorant. We have tons of sweet and salty recipes. Off the top of my head, seadas, prosciutto with melon, various associations of cheese and fruit (pears, figs), sweet and sour peppers (agrodolce), etc.
>>88985757About 20 kcal per 100 grams. When dried or cooked the water goes away but the kcal remains. So it's closer to 20 kcal per 10 grams cooked. Mushrooms arw a fantastic replacement for meat. My ancestors survived on that shit for centuries. Hell, I still do. Go to the forest and pick up mushrooms, eggs (preferably from wild birds, but use chicken if you need to), wild garlic, onions, and dandelions for the salad. It'll fill and feed you for the day. The only thing you need to buy is salt, and if you REALLY need it, bread. Milk or cheese adds smoothness to the eggs, but I prefer goat cheese myself. No one in my family is below 180, that's 6 feet for you burgerland folks, and while people were starving my folks ate like kings. But then, we're mountain folk.
>>88986997>My ancestors survived on that shit for centuries.
>>88986921I live 5 minutes outside Italy. I can piss on your border by walking to the edge of my property. My mom is also a Michelin star chef. And yes. Italian and French food is fucking delicious. I never said it wasn't. But check out recipes from the middle ages or Rome and compare them to today. Chicken with silphium, honey, fruits, and fish sauce. Meat pies with currants, nuts, more spices than I can think of, and more fruit. Those flavor profiles do not exist in modern cooking. The closest you get is barbarossa, which is a whole roasted pork with fruits and nuts. Ironic since Barbarossa was a Muslim pirate.
>>88986185It was really easy to make, one could say it was a pizza cake
>>88987079Stretch them to 180 cm and... Yea pretty much.
>>88987085Barbarossa was a Holy Roman Emperor who spent his entire life flinging his own shit at Italians before epicly drowning on the way to crusade
>>88986266I think cheez its are the perfect example of awful but tasty american food. An extremely delicious snack that's pure crap.
>>88987174You only like this crap due to habituation.
>>88985587What pizza qualifies as "the best pizza", OP? Which game, OP?
>>88987193I don't eat cheez its anymore. But I wish I could.
>>88985684>>88985742It's a lasagna.
>>88985587Orcs - BarbequeHumans - Everything because theres no real answer as everything here was invented by humansElves - Salads / asian cuiseneHobbits - eastern european dishesDwarves - stews, soups, dense breads, probably a lot of honey and mushrooms in their foods. Probably a lot of imported ingredients from the surface dwelling races more predisposed to farming.All in all Id say hobbits would do pizza well given they eat a lot of cheese and bread already.
>>88985587>Invented in naples.>Supposedly the best thereMonkey people make the best pizza.
>>88986535I eat food made by Italians who immigranted and so use traditional recipes but modern technology so it's cheaper and tastes just as good.Itlaians eat food mae in factories manned and run b y Chinese and Indian people becuase the alterative is food is too god-damn expensie becuase it's all inefficent small-holders.Same how all that authentic Silicianian cusine is tainted by the refugee hands who get paid a tenth of a white clean hand to pick them by the mafia and anyone who doesn't ant to pay proper labour.
>>88985730The fantasy race that makes the best burgs are Brazilians. Google "xis" and "xis calota".>Ackusally Brazil isn't a fantasy landConfirmed for having no idea what Brazil is.
>>88985675Is this a subgenre of isekai manga? I swear this has to be like the 3rd "elf bride/slave/wife" title I've seen.
>>88987607It's just an incredibly popular fantasy.
The absolute fucking state of moderation
>>88986848>pineapple on pizzaWe get it. You're a fag with shit taste. If you're going insist on halfling putting fruit on a pizza instead of doing a pairing with a fruited sour/hazy ipa, they would go with a drier apple or pear, not an overly tangy and sweet fruit.
>>88987527Tell me the map was made by a Ligurian without telling me the map was made by a Ligurian.
>>88987691>flushing down pizza with beerEwwEWW
>>88987633That's a Canadian invention.
>>88985675>elvesEverything you touch turns to umgak
>>88987607There is a sub-subgenre of Isekai stories focused around "Slow Life with a Fantasy Wife." There a about a dozen "reverse" isekai (girl comes from a fantasy world to the modern world) where a female knight/princess/elf comes to the modern world and lives with a rural farmer.
>>88987742>a female knight>a female manthe word you're looking for, American, is "Dame". Your welcome.
>>88987653They also seem to universally turn elves into these pointy eared creatures with the naivete of a hyperactive puppy instead of the jaded cynic you'd expect from someone that has been around for hundreds of years.
>>88987740I don't speak autism
>>88987755No, Abdool, the word is "knightess". Dame is how you address a knightess.
>>88987788You put bananas on pizza. You are the autist.
>>88987761Only losers turn into bitter cynics, self-contented people retain the spark of curiosity well into their autumn years.
>>88987813You're telling me what I put on pizza. You're a schizophrenic.
>>88987852You're the one who took offense, implying you indeed put bandanna on pizza. If you did not, there would have been no need to reply.Therefore you are an austist. Take your meds you knife eared fuck.
>>88987844Curiosity sure, but not a ditz that isn't aware of what tomato sauce is.
>>88987691>>88987716You eat pizza with spritz aperol, heathens.
>>88986112The absolute ass blasted status of New Yorkers and Chicagoans when fucking Windsor "Earth's Rectum" Ontario blew the best US pizzerias out of the water for Traditional Slice at the World Pizza Championship. If I remember they had the choice of any two ingredients and won using fucking basic ass pepperoni and CANNED button mushrooms.
>>88987877I don't know how to tell you this, but elves aren't real.
>>88987890Like every Englishman before the 17th century?
>>88987691>fruited sour/hazy ipaHalflings are fucking ipa guzzling zoomies, they're literally the 'simple as' species. They drink lager, cider and maybe mead.
>>88987916No Englishman lived to 300 and saw the entire world so that's not an apt comparison
>>88987907>elf denies he existsTypical elf behavior. Makes no sense then blames everyone else.
>>8898794590% of elves never leave the elf forest.
>>88987965Those are wood elves anon. Those aren't the ones Japanese salary men try to make wives out of since they're just as liable to kill and eat you for stepping on a root
>>88987959This is creepy and cringe, I seriously hope you don't talk like that anywhere else.
>>88988120>I'm not the problem, you areWhatever bannanna-pizza maker.
>>88987992All Japanese elves are wood or dark elves. They don't have your bizarre Western hangups about wood elves being econazis for some reason.
>>88988128That's a high elf, she's not wearing enough bark to be a wood elf.
>>88985587>among the Clans there is only ONE pizza parlor franchise>it is run by an insane Italian manlet>he demands that you batchall his crew to get anything on the menu>winner gets the smallest amount of toppings possible >the most common combatant is the cowardly skinny brother>”Mama Mia, no wonder he so skinny!”>Clan folks think this is greatThis isn’t canon. Only to suffer. Life is Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhluigi.
>>88987633I hate hawaiian pies just because half of them are just canned pineapple chunks, not even drained, just plopped on making shit soggyIf it were actually grilled pineapple its actually a great pairing.
>>88988139It's a wood elf in everything but the name.
>>88988350>It's a wood elf in everything but the nameSo...a high elf
>>88988120Unfortunately, I can guarantee that he does.
Subsidiary to the bakers' guild, the leavened dough makers are usually less than four families working the lower ovens, closer to the flames for convection heat. Much like any other baked good they've different signature dishes based on the age old recipes passed down between them though pizzas are rarer than calzones and other turnover adjacent items as the latter are easier to carry and get less unintended dust. However, troll sausage and chard on white sauce remains a Karaz Ankor constant, despite its high price.
>>88988369>schizoid talking to himselfThis is why you're alone elf
>>88985587>GreeceGreeks, they're the ones who invented it afterall
>>88985684Okay...I was gonna be nice, but now you’ve gone too far. So let me explain something, deep dish pizza is not only not better than New York pizza, it’s not pizza. It’s a fucking casserole. I’m surprised you haven’t thought to complete your deep dish pizza by putting some canned onion rings on top. It’s a cornbread biscuit which you’ve MELTED CHEESE ON and then in defiance of God and man and all things holy you POURED UNCOOKED MARINARA SAUCE atop the cheese! ATOP! The cheese! Atop! The sauce! Naked! Cold! On display like some sort of sauce whore! You know the expression “There’s no such thing as bad sex or bad pizza” your pizza is like sex with a corpse made of sandpaper. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! THIS IS NOT PIZZA! THIS IS TOMATO SOUP IN A BREAD BOWL! THIS- IS AN ABOVE GROUND MARINARA SWIMMING POOL FOR RATS! Let me tell you something about your fucking NOT PIZZA! I wanna know when I get drunk and pass out on my pizza that I’m not gonna drown. Let me tell you something! I look at this-! MMMARGH! YOU SONOFABITCH! I LOOK AT THIS! MEEEAUGH! GABBA-GOO! I look at this— When I look at your deep dish fucking pizza I don’t know whether to eat it or throw a coin in it and make a wish. AND IF I MADE A WISH! WOULD BE THAT I WISH FOR SOME REAAAL FUCKING PIZZA! Now! Now! With all due respect I realize, it’s very cold in Chicago very cold, windy you need to be able I dunno have a pizza and cut it open and climb inside it like a Tauntaun to keep warm. Seriously, who are you kidding? Who uses an iron skillet to make pizza? You don’t use an iron skillet to make a pizza you use an iron skillet to FEND OFF SOMEONE who tries to serve you fucking pizza made in a skillet!
>>88988684Big daddy Dagoth said it already>>88985773
>>88985587If Pizza is a type of warm flat bread with toppings, shouldn't Chicago style deep dish pizza be considered a pie or... a quiche?
>>88985757Yeah anon, Dwarves aren't human, you retard.
>>88988684I'm not against (non-Chicago style) deep dish pizzas, but I haven't had a good one in like 30 years. I don't know what the local pizzeria did back in the day, but it was nice. Since then, every few years, I fool myself into ordering one from another pizzeria, and am disappointed. Like a fiend chasing that high that will never come.
>>88987085>Those flavor profiles do not exist in modern cooking.Most of it is sweet-sour with lots of spices, I understand.Basically Southeast asian cusine.
>>88985684Best answer. >>88986185Pizza pie, innit
>>88988684>new yorkers need limp pizza to go with their limp wrists, incapable of handling the thiccnessNot a big surprise.
>>88988128>>88988139>>88988350>>88988358She is clearly a wood elf: she is an elf and she gives me wood.
>>88989998I understand that Rome, Napoli and Trentino have different flatbread styles and further down south, they aligned with the Southern cooking memes and released a variant that's deep fried.
>>88985587Plot twist: elfs cook the worst pizza's, but everybody tell them it's the best to get in their pants.
>>88987992Hot springs are a rare and natural resource. Your sacrifice will be honored. Tfwywn slam your retard stick into an elven grove or pond. Reality intrusion alert: shooting trespassers is normal, everyone knows that. Obligatory reminder that elves can be sexually enticing due to total genital freedom of movement at any moment! Beware the elf! Pic.
>>88990283Elves shouldn't shit, piss or sweat. Magic takes care of everything, we can't besmirch the elven image with such turpitude.
>>88990329>>88990336>a species phenotypically identical to humans shits crystalsI find daemons more believable than this. When you're writing about magic and fantasy, all is fine, but when you're trying to write about science, please, stick to science.
>>88990403>genetically engineered space aliens that happen to look humanoid but also turn into crystals as they age, must take human shitsOk. Besides, Xenology said their poop has a crystalline structure to it. That doesn't mean it's a full on crystal shard. Probably more like pearls.
>>88985684That's not a pizza, that's some whack shit
>>88990211High elves are divas about their pizzas. They will proclaim that theirs is the best bar none, but more often than not it comes out like a dominos or a pizza hut slice: Filling, Overpriced, and you know you've had better.
>>88986535>muh yanks dont know about qualityWhat you find in store shelves and suburban sprawl is completely different to what people actually make. I've killed and eaten white tails over an open fire using herbs and mushrooms I pulled from the forest before backpacking the rest of it out. Ive had friends roll up in the dead of night to hand me trout from water thats so clean and cold it tastes sweet from creeks shaking the frost of the Appalachias. Ive sat at my grandma's table waiting for fresh biscuits she made using bear oil she rendered the spring before when me and my brothers took a black bear. Hell, Ive made moonshine flavored with wild ginseng because I wanted to impress a girl and get her father's approval by gifting him the rest of it. We spent the night in the bed of my truck looking up at stars you couldnt see if there was a single light for miles. You sit there and try and lecture me on how great home grown things are and then have the fucking gall to think your somehow special? That Americans dont know about it? No, you moor blooded retard. We just dont like to share with people we dont know.
>>88986417America has a social division that European countries don't have. We have a poor class that is actually, objectively poor, and these low quality products are for them. Normal people shop organic.
>>88991096>social division that European countries don't haveNigga, Europe has fucking royalty, the fuck are you talking about?
>>88990682>High elvesNow I want to know how other elven tribes cook pizza.
>>88991170European monarchs are poorer than America's top capitalists.
>>88986417>You literally sell honey that has no honey in it LOLYeah and as long as they conform to the FDA standards for food additives (Part 170), you're allowed to sell ithttps://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-21/chapter-I/subchapter-B/part-170?toc=1You seem to have a misguided belief that the FDA wants to make sure you are eating food. It wants to make sure what you're eating has minimal toxins in it because it knows the average human(not American, human) would look at the chemical composition of a tomato and think half the stuff that gives it flavor is an attempt to poison you.
>>88991195And those capitalists eat the same junk as the poor people.
>>88991306You can't be serious.
>>88991544You find examples of Charles stuffing his face.
>>88991577Charles, like a Chicago-style deep dish "pizza," is half-baked at best, and is terrified of cling wrap.
>>88991577Obama wouldn't even classify as rich by American standards.
>>88985587>Which race does the best pizza?In D&D fantasy? Humans. Elves don't have good cheese, Halflings don't have the right tomatoes so their pizza lacks pizzaz. Dwarves make a passable pesto pizza. Orcs don't have any of the ingredients but love pizza. There's no point in going further as it only gets sadder with other races.In any other setting it's whatever race wants to fuck humans the most, because humans are known to run on pizza.>>88989108If you can't fold it, it's shit. This is why stromboli is one of the few elevations of pizza beyond its intended form, incidentally.
>>88988387I'm stealing this for my WHFB Tilean dwarf hold.Will change it a bit but this is absolutely *chef's kiss*
>>88985587elves dont like pizza
>>88985684Chicago pizza is fucking gross, Who in their right mind puts that much sauce on a zza? I'm not saying all NY pizza is good but even the worst gas station stuff I've had was leagues better than the pizza I had in Chicago.
>>88987906Good to know your city was able to bribe the judges enough to allow you an undeserved tourist handle.
>>88985860How would the orcs react to Alabama style white sauce?
>>88988216>Clan Diamond Shark Pizza: Anything you want, as long as you can pay. Anything. You want ghost bear (animal) pepperoni pizza delivered by a nude elemental? We can give you a quote. >Clan Wolf Pizza: That one local institution. Pizza isn't the best, but it's solid, consistent, and while the staff are kinda annoying it makes sense that they've stuck around. >Clan Jade Falcon Pizza: The other local institution, the staff are belligerent, the selection is: "you'll get the slices that we make!", asking for Parmesan or chili flakes may cause the staff to take a swing at you. Seems to have stuck around out of spite more than anything else.>Clan Hell's Horses Pizza: Pizza isn't anything to write home about but the delivery drivers consider it highly dishonourable to obey any speed or traffic laws whatsoever when delivering the pizza. >Clan Smoke Jaguar Pizza: Got shut down after the delivery drivers started burning customers homes down. Somehow re-opened recently. >Clan Burrock Pizza: Literally just a front for organized crime.
>>88985860I've always run orcs as being surprisingly good chefs, due to picking up a wide range of ingredients and dishes from all their pillaging. Orc pizza is probably good, but extremely strange, in the vein of Indian pizza.
>>88985836I think that's more of an argument as to when a kind of food stops qualifying as that kind of food.I'm in the camp that any disk of dough covered in toppings is a pizza. It might be a crime against pizza, like the monstrosities they have in Brazil, but it's a pizza nonetheless.
>>88988350her name is High Elf Archer
>>88990329>>88990336this knowledge absolutely would not stop a rogue trader
>>88991176For Wild Elves, see >>88986015. tl:dr They make calzones instead of pizzas.Drow include a lot of different fungi in their pizzas, and surprising were the first to introduce creme fraiche to the pizza world. As with everything, the different pizzas you are allowed to eat are determined by your place in the heierachy. High Sorceresses frequestly dine on rare truffles and fruits on their pizzas just because they can, all the way down to the slaves and men getting the burnt crusts if they're lucky.
>>88993620Using it on anything other than poultry and foul is punishable by death.
>>88987606Not only do I have no idea what Brazil is I don't even know how many is a Brailian.>>88986339There's a joke where part of the punchline is that the Germans are the chefs.
>>88985587absolutely every race has good pizza, with the single exception of italians
>>88985751>Well, Italians are obviously the best at making pizza IRLlmao
>>88995329This nigga has no tastebuds
>>88995358you can find a decent pizza anywhere in the world except italy
>>88995379I've travelled all over the world and Italians are easily the best at making pizza
>>88995387i've traveled all over europe, including about ten times to italy, and i can confirm you're wrong
>>88995399I live in Europe and I can unfortunately confirm that I am right
>>88995419i live in europe so that's impossible, you live somewhere else
I am ANGRYANGRY ABOUT AMERICANS
>>88995446well stop thinking about them
>>88995428W-wait...that must mean...are you -- are you me??
>>88988369>heAnyone who believes in elfs, gnomes, or the fay are a 62 year old grandmother.
>>88995452that is not the orlanthi way
>>88990470Snakes' piss crystals, just use that as a reference.
>>88995387You have clearly never tasted the heart stopping glory that is the Scottish deep fried pizza.
>>88995718That is unfortunately correct. I wish I hadn't been rejected by Edinburgh uni.
>>88985587Changeling, they create pizza made of mimics and the topping and flavor changes depending on what you find the most appealing. Be warned however, if not prepared properly, the pizza will eat you from inside.
>>88995519Piss and shit are incredibly different. Shit is the indigestible parts of your food, piss is excess nitrogen and a bunch of other elements.
>>88995732I was accepted, but went to Exeter instead because I despise cold weather.
>>88995419So do I, and I can confirm that you’re full of shit. Sicily has the best food anywhere, period. Everything they make there is somehow great. The pizzas would make a New Yorker blush, the ice creams are out of this world, and the patisseries make the French look like the British.
>>88985684Yanks are so fucking disgusting
>>88995794Sicily is in Italy you fucking retard
>>88995896Sicily being part of Italy will in centuries to come be remembered as one of the great mistakes of the era.
>>88995896Oh, I replied to the wrong person, my mistakeMea culpa
>>88995718We make fried pizza here in Italy too, it's delicious. I make it at home.
>>88995461NTA but my mother is 62 and unironically believes in fairies
>>88995300The Brits used to be the absolute bottom of the barrel food-wise and the nordics were on exactly nobody's radar.
>>88996775>nordics were on exactly nobody's radarIf you focus on the economy, there comes a point where you can convert it into anything else.
>>88995461Or they’re Icelandic, you uncultured fuck
>>88995461Or they're the president of Mexico.
>>88997002ThanksThink I might have some elvish blood in me, heh heh
>>88986997>About 20 kcal per 100 grams. When dried or cooked the water goes away but the kcal remains. So it's closer to 20 kcal per 10 grams cooked.How the fuck do you cook mushrooms so they lose 90% of their mass?
>>88991947Net worth of 11 million puts you in the 1%. Obama has a net worth of 70 million.
>>88991544Nope. Say there’s two levels of food: adjacent-prepared and commercial. Rich or poor, American’s don’t do commercial food well. It’s specifically to impress people, waste money, or not starve. Restaurants are alternatively dreck or decent, because American standards are poor in multiple ways that interact — otoh Eurofags understand that good taste requires good standards.This is a cyclical process of iteratively learning to have a common standard with your client, done by both parties. That’s the literal point of a market unit, it’s supposed to be a money-poll. Any business is polling (you * N) per [time] to come up with an average of products/services that all of those (you)s can tolerate. Americans have a pile of shit that ruins this feedback cycle that literal cavemen managed better for centuries. It’s literally a basic human skill.Shit material standards. Shit manufacturing standards. Shit quality control standards. Shit quality assurance standards. Shit reporting standards etc…Nothing good can come from a pile of shit. But Ameritards are moronic enough to EXPECT a non-shit result under such constraints. Given so many failure-points, Amerishit doesn’t course correct. They will tolerate any goddamn thing — usually favoring the worst option. Someone post that restaurant that calls its customers fatasses etc. Or some retard sucking US police cock — while the police were doing their public campaign of showboating and beating the shit out of randoms without repercussion. America is brimming with that variety of unsalvageable retard. It ruins everything when a majority of people are too stupid to recognize who is wielding the stick, or that it is pointed at them. Even shit like food is ruined.TL;DR. Merc a tech-bro, or old affluent? It’ll make you feel better. No one will stop you. You are the chosen one. Your 72 houri girls are assured if you save us all by helping me manipulate stocks with brutal violence. Subscribe now!
>>88998098Hey, cool it with the racism, David Duke.
>be NewHavenfag>eat delicious pizza all my life>start travelling and eat pizza at random joints all over America>Chicago, Detroit, New York, all the big places, and several out west and down south>even if it's no where near New Haven's level it still tastes greatWho knew it'd be so hard to fuck up baked bread, cheese, and sauce? Anyway since New Haven has the best pizza in the real world it should be some sort of Connecticuter race, or otherwise known as fish people. Deep Ones maybe.
>>88998468Thanks for the subscription. Isn’t there…something…you have to do? ;) All will be Taco Bell. Be well, friend!
>>88988684yknowevery time I watch this bit I always hope somewhere in Chicago some smartass who owns a pizza joint will start selling a deep dish pizza with canned onion rings on it called "New York casserole" on the menu
>>88991577you have to have all 23 pairs of chromosomes to have a human emotion like enjoying food.
>>88994892If anything, it will fill him with newfound enthusiasm enough to not be allowed within 50 parsecs of a craftworld.
>>88985587The Jewish race
>>88985587>Which race does the best pizza?Halflings, considering their strong affiliation with cooking and cuisine in pretty much all depictions, and due to their very common association with baking in particular.>>88985684As a joke in a WFRP game I ran, the denizens of a kleinmoot tavern in Kislev made a "pizza" for the homesick Tilean in the party on his request. They basically made a Chicago or Detroit deep dish, though, since you know how halflings get about their pies in Warhammer. The Tilean was appalled.
>>88988128>hey don't have your bizarre Western hangups about wood elves being econazis for some reason.I have no idea what the fuck you're schizoing about, but you say it like being a econazi is a bad thing, which makes you a fag.
>>89000000Wasted hex :(
>>88999026Cheese pizza maybe
>>89000000DIGITS DESERVEDLY DECIMATE DISGUSTING DEEP DISH
>>89000195Hey schizo. I just ate a steak. Tomorrow, I will eat it again. After driving to the butcher's in my big car fuelled with the cheapest gas.
Do you think all races share their love for coffee, or only the superior races?
>>89000467I hate coffee.
>>89000467The only good coffee I ever had was a dry stout brewed by a hobby brewer. He basically made a stout without bitters while retaining all the delicious coffee aromas.
>>89000195Do fags really think this?
>>88985587Dwarves due to their appreciation for cheese and because their livestock live stress free, cloistered lives. Instead of cheep pepperonis, they top their pizzas with luxurious veal sausages.
>>88985684>be stupid retarded nigger>35>time to get a job>"my niggaz awways tellz me i makes da bess shiet in tha hole hood, imaa be a pizzamayn">apply to pizzaplace>get hired>affirmativeaction.glock>get told the way to make a pizza>forget because stupid nigger>"AYY BOSSMAYN, I inviented some new shit I think y'll gon like dis">everyone fucking kills themselves>the only clue left at the scene is a reverse pizza
>>89000696>his pizza isn't a type of brichoe
>>89000757The opinion of Italians hasn't mattered since Emperor Romulus the Last.
>>89000195If you care about the environment so much, you should kill your family and then yourself. You'll be cutting out so much carbon!
>>89000935do you consider Justinian to be Italian?
>>89000949>kill your family and then yourselfNot before racking up some more carbon credits. Not trusting you people to do what's necessary.
>>88999026Ah yes, the best pizza is from Tel Avivhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=378ERFzNqaoUma Delicia
>>89000000New York style chads just keep on winning
>>89000949The joke is that your individual impact is irrelevant. The best we can get right now is Volkswagen spending an easy couple millions on developing and installing a cheat software instead of trying to bribe politicians.
>>89001120Longnose tribe made this post. No jewish cuisine has ever been good.
>>88985730they are good too!
>>89000953Of course not, Büyük Jüstinyen was a Turk.
>>89001165>the place you are born defines what ethnicity you areGuess I'm a Karankawa Indian then. White settlers go home
>>89001144I heard the jewish delis in NY offer pretty good food. The ones living in Israel belong to the mediterranean kitchen these days and the ones in the US apparently still hold fast to their common Russian/Polish roots.
>>89001196Modern Turks from the Istanbul area are overwhelmingly the descendants of turkified locals, so Justinian was a Turk in every sense.
>>89001204>I heard the jewish delis in NY offer pretty good foodFrom the jews. I've been there and they were fucking garbage. Jewish food is defined by its blandness, both in flavor and texture.
>>89001177I laughed when I realised what the coon stands for.
>>89001220So jews don't season their food, huh?
>>89001244They're British, then.
>>89001244They don't even use rosemary, dipshit.
>>88986874Our mozzarella is not white. I genuinely do not understand eurofag obsession with the supposed low quality of american cheese. We produce, by FAR, the most and widest variety of cheese, and we export it fucking everywhere in the world, including countries that could afford your faggot euro cheese like Japan and South Korea. But oh no, some guy in the fucking 1910s mixed emulsifier into cheddar to make it melt more consistently and now apparently the entire fucking American dairy industry is fake! It's even more ridiculous than stupid Americans thinking that the French are and always were cowardly weaklings because they got occupied during WWII.
>>89001327Fuck me, our Mozzarella is not YELLOW, I meant
>>89001327Here's one example that tells you all you need to know about the fantastically corrupt, absurd and Kafkaesque euro food laws.You know Stilton cheese? It's named after the town of Stilton in the UK that it originates from. Now check out this: according to the EU food laws, Stilton cheese produced in Stilton could NOT be called Stilton cheese. Its manufacturer would be heavily fined, and the cheese itself taken off the shelves and destroyed like radioactive waste.I wonder why Brexit happened?..
>>89001327Europe is insecure about its cultural legacy, some former great powers never got over becoming regional powers. And some countries suffer instead from 'monkeys in the ruins' syndrome, like Italy or Greece. It's not limited to them, you see this with Turks and Iranians, too. One thing with American foodstuffs is they tend to cater to everything from the cheapest nobody to the most unreasonable wealthy. And Americans can punch above their supposed weight, as their wines have proven. I still think the nips are the best at beef, though.
>>89001358Even Spanish wines are better than French ones. There have been no-shit attacks on trucks carrying Spanish wine.
>>89001327>Japanese>being able to afford cheeseRarely. Thanks to their import tax regime and low production volumes of Hokkaido, cheese is up there with sushi and steak.
>>89001358The rise of Australian and Californian wines were a blessing to wine culture in general. Forced people to really go down to brass tacks instead of Hon-hon'ing about their ancient bottled armpit smell.
>>89001397Well I'd be more likely to sympathize if they stopped bringing monkeys into their ruins and condemning anyone who complains
>>88993713>Smoke JaguarsMassive keks detected.
>>89001214oh I see, you're a turk who thinks you're white. Gotcha.
>>88985684Literally worse than the shit they make in Brazil.
>>89000000NEW YORK BABY LOVE DA METS!
>>89000809bagel bites are unironically goated
>>89000467Is this book /u/-pilled?
>>88985684>that's not a raceThey are and should be exterminated
>>88993408Marcille is an elf dago though
>>88997570dry them first
>>89003396He's a Turk who thinks that he isn't greek.
>>89008010The coon stands for coons.
>>88987906What's surprising about that? Pepperoni and mushrooms are the core ingredients of any respectable pizza.
>>89008496Pepperoni is a shitty cheap sausage that replaces meat with vegetables to increase the mass, proto-onions.
>>88985587In my mind, dwarves are Jews and elves are somewhat French. Humans are always vaguely anglo… I guess Sicilians would be closest to halflings or gnomes so… halflings. Gnomes would be Dutch.
>>88985684Chicagoans are literal hill dwarves.
>>88985836It’s about a 80/20 mix of provolone and mozzarellaWhat’s hard to grasp?
>>88987930>lager>not brown aleWithout advanced refrigeration lager would be fucking awful. Pilsners and ales would be their bread and butter. >mead and ciderDoubt it. We have reference to wine and that’s about it.
>>88986997What country?>>88997570Drying, retard
>>89001372>according to the EU food laws, Stilton cheese produced in Stilton could NOT be called Stilton cheeseWhy? I'm assuming there's a reason for this, however retarded that reason might be.
>>89001418I thought Japanese didn't care for dairy products anyhow.
>>88985836>American pizza is so different than Neapolitan style pizza it should be called something elseAmerican pizza is synonymous with pizza anywhere that isn't or doesn't border Italy. I vote the Italians change the name.
>>88994523Line cooks are the closest irl profession to an orc anyway
>>89001372>I wonder why Brexit happened?..The Stilton cheese interest is just that powerful, one would assume.PDO, btw, work as people from that region travelling to Brussel or to their national capitals and telling the bureaucrats there that they'd like to have them registered. So Cambridgeshire, where the town of Stilton is located being cut from the deal, points at the English themselves having backstabbed each other, which means the situation would not be affected by Brexit at all.But I guess pointing at Brussel and pretending that your cheese don't stink is a well-honed reflex at this point.
>>89010456The consumption of milk was manadatory for school kids for a while, and Yoghurts are popular enough, so symptomatic lactose intolerance is pretty low among them. But, apparently largely due to the Heidi Anime, Raclette is up there with Manga Meat as an exotic food item they enjoy occasionally.Supplies are the absolute pits though, with imported cheese being hella expensive and Hokkaido cheese being only slightly less costly once it has made its way to Honshu.
>>88994523One might wonder where they source their meat.
>>89001372>>89010443>>89010535Less than a minute of research, here:Stilton cheese is named after Stilton because it was SOLD there, not because it was MADE there. Stilton cheese is origin protected to where it's always been made, in counties neighboring the one where the town of Stilton is located. Can't say the EU's never fucked things up, but this isn't one of those things.
>>89010629Orcs. Waste not want not.
>>89008111Well raccoons enjoy pizza.
>>89010770Don't be ridiculous, the real answer is Neapolitan.
>>88985684That's only on rare occasions, actual chicago pizza is a lot more normal than that. Deep dish like a once a year thing. Normal chicago pizza is relatively thin with a somewhat crispy and flaky crust.
>>88986302>There's no objective difference between fresh, organically grown food from America and from Italythere definitely are, and i mean objective in the literal sense of the word too
>>88985587I want a pizza with elf girl worn socks
>>89011830Yeah, in America they actually follow the regulations. In Italy, nobody follows the rules because the government that made them will collapse by Sunday.
>>89014578educate yourself kiddo
>>88985712Actual schizophrenic go to a mental ward.
>>89010984Restricting product names to where they're made and not what they are is a colossal fuck up in general. It's just extra stupid when the location restriction excludes the place that the name actually refers to.
>>89000559So go live in Utah already
>>88996894>HUGE tits>seemingly taller than her Gengar (though this is a bit skewed by the camera angle)Is there something I don't recognize about it or is this a shitpost?