>Me me.>Sergeant Yuri of the Vallhallan 545th armored.>Almost drunk enough to forget about that whole forge world incident.https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2023/88276282/>No wait, I just remembered it. Time to order another round.>The captain doesn’t seem to like my men and women making a mess of his ship's bar.Frakyouitsmybirthday.guard>Get kicked out and left behind on some middle of nowhere ocean planet.>One of the ones where all the hives are underwater, rather than floating.>Apparently it’s so they can mine minerals from the ocean floor.>Governor says something about his minors waking up something or another.TooDrunkToCare.Vallhallan>With nothing better to do we make our way down.>Corridors too tight for our tanks though, so we're walking.SpaceHulkFashbacks.PTSD>Governor keeps blasting these messages over the vox about owning your sweat or something.>On the way down we sober up enough to notice the architecture changing from the standard imperial gothic change to bare rock to black monoliths.>Necrons>Of course it had to be frakking Necrons.
>Be Datasmith.>Sent out to repair Kastelans on the ocean floor.>Hate this planet.>Need to replace my augments every so often so they don't rust.>No one appreciates my work.>Find the Kastelan, it's covered in barnacles and seaweed.>Open it up to replace the punch cards, not really bothering with the pointless parts of the ritual as its not like anyone can hear me down here and I want to be back inside asap.>Suddenly notice something shiny moving in my flood light.>Turn and see a necron hand emerging from the sand.shittingmypants.binarry>Moving my light I see more necrons are coming out of the ground.>Quickly rip out the patrol cards and replace them with combat ones I keep for emergencies.>While the kastelan holds them off I run as fast as my giant heavy metal legs will let me and send a morse code transmission to my magos to let them know what in the omnissiah's name is going on out here.
>Be Princeps Maximus of the Warlord Titian Burning Sun>Got reports of a sea monster that's been harassing an ocean world>Naturally we just had to answer the callKaijuBattle.Mecha>Water up to the waist of my titian>Auspex lets us see the ocean floor as a wire frame>Secutarii and Skitarii following in our wake in duneriders.Enemy kaiju xeno spotted.Sensors>Order troops to hold back for now while we engagewarhorn.mp3"Morderati... play the song."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnFdDqSDRDE
>>88963379>Bez me>Kaptain ov da Red Orktober>Been en sub mehreen fur weeks>looken fur hoomie city with shiniez to loot>boyz getten restless>hear beepy fing on da sound hearer>mek sayz te tak a look at diz>humie tin boy codeTrakDaSignal.OrkTeknology>Follow da signal an foind da unda water city of shinies>da skelley tin boyz ex attakenoi_daz_my_loot.FreeBoota>Deploy boyz in metal suits da mek boyz madedis_iz_where_da_fun_begins.WAAAGH
>>88964564>>88966117>Be Princeps Maximus of the Warlord Titian Burning SunKaijuroar.wav>The sea monster was quicker than it looked.>It dove into the water like and athlete and swam right up to my titian before surfacing and biting into my volcano cannon>I felt the pain through my connection to burning sun as its teeth and claws rip into the cannon>One of my morderati angles the cannon on my titian's shoulders into its back spine and fires causing it to roar in pain, but only singe its scales>Pull my cannon free from its jaw and punch it with my titians left power hand>Take a few steps back while its realling from the slug>Look around for something I can use>Scans pick up and ork subidea.Omnissiah>Use hand to pick up ork subGIF related warhorn.mp3
>>88964564>>88967340>Be me.>Sergeant Yuri.>I frakking hate necrons.>At first it was just scarabs.>Annoying to deal with but doable.>Now the warriors have started to wake up.>Thank the emperor theirs some cover to hold the line.>I think all our las guns are doing is brushing the dust off.>Thankfully its just infantry so far, no immortals or lords or whatever.>Get an idea and tell people to start aiming for the joints at max setting.>Legs and arms start flying off the skeletons.>That works out better but its not a permanent solution.>Once again missing being able to call in artillery and tanks in these tight places.>Get the vox operator and tell him to call for backup.>He says all the chatter is apparently about some kaiju battle on the surface.> That sounds pretty cool and all, but we need some frakking backup down here asap!>Just then hear a scream.>Turn and see a guardsman's 6th worse nightmare.>Flayed Ones.>Of course it had to be flayed ones.fuckmylife.slaanesh
>>88966117>>88967340>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH >Croozin in a Submarine owned by Warboss RoidGit>Da Boss heard dat Git on Da Red Orktober was down ere somewhere>RoidGit wants revenge for nicking his severed hand he stitched to his armour>Da Mark Boy reports dat dey found da Gitz>But da humies stompa is using da Red Orktober as a choppa against a biggin >RoidGit orders me and my Kommandos to get into da wet clothes and use da special water bikes ta sneak in da stompa>So I do>Me and my ten Kommandos get fired out via da torpedo bay and began da journey to da Stompa>I just hope we don't accidentally get krumped in da process>Also glad I brought one of dem fancy torches da meks use
>>88964564>>88969391>Be Princeps Maximus>Be bashing the kaiju with the ork sub>Thing is sturdier than it looks and makes for a surprisingly effective club>Several green skins fall out and start digging their choppas into the monster like ants>Get a call from the secutarii alpha>Aparently some orks on jet skis are headed for my titian>Tell them to handle it and wind up for another blow with the ork sub
>>88967340>>88969391>>88969973>Bez me>Kaptain ov da Red Orktober>Mek boy sayz da humie stompa ez gonna grab us>Before we can move, da ship ez squeezed loik a gretchin den tilted to da roight an we all go up fast>Hear da ship groan an break az we ez bashed on somefing big an angry>Crew es shaken around loik a box uv dakka>Oi like diz hoomiez style>Oiz not even mad aboot me ship>Diz ez a fun roid and da git ez finken proppa orky>Hitz are so fast probably because da sub ez red>Da Red Orktober ez brought up fur a big hit an getz broken>Boyz cling on wif da choppaz>See a giant beast eye enfront ov me>Pull out me officar shoota and fire at da beastWAAAGH.mp3
>>88969391>>88969973>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Wez finally arrived to da Stompa >Itz foightin a propa big lad>Wez finds a way wez finks mights be goods>Bring out da special burna and bring it to tha metal >Holdin onto da Stompa wif me ova hand >Dakka boy Mort keepin ma hand with da burna steady>Dis gonna be gud once wez get into da Stompa>Orz it might get floodedgrimmskullchuckle.vox
>>88963379>>88970883>>88971937>Be Princeps Maximus of the warlord titian Burning Sun>The ork sub snapped in half with my latest swing.>However the orks inside are have started shooting and stabbing the kaiju.>Get a warning someone is cutting into my titians leg>Contact up Secutarii alpha and ask him why he wasn’t doing his one job“Apologies my lord, but the troops we sent to intercept the green skins are currently caught up in a three way battle on the ocean floor.”Groan.GodEngine>I have to do everything my se—>The Kaiju has started bitting my Titians head>I drop the half of the ork submarine I was holding and try to get a grip on the beast.
>>88971937>>88974408>Bez Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Still cuttin into da Stompa>Big monsta roaring and jumping da Stompa with its jaws>Iz can hear one of da Boyz laughing at da sight of Red Orktober's crew shootin the monsta>Iz meanwhile finally cut a hole into da Stompa and squeeze myself in>Water follows behind as doez my boys>Wez nowz in da Stompakommandoz.sneakygitz>Begin to move up >Not sure what wez really wants from da Stompa to be frank>Ah well if wez get a Stompa den Boss RoidGit might be pleased>Probably use it to krump da umie cities >Wez makin some progress in da Stompa when some metal Boyz show up and start firing their dakka>Order ladz to take cova >One lad gets too much dakka and dies>Oh well wez got plenty of Boyz left>I ready my slugga and peek around and begin firing"OI BLAINZ GET EM">Blainz is our rokkit boy>He pulls out his kustom made rokkit launcha and readys what he calls "Da Biggin">Wez provide some covering fire whilst he finishes readying "Da Biggin">He then turns da corna and fires "Da Biggin" into da Metal Boyzkaboom.dakka
>>88969128>Be sergeant Yuri.>Some of the more zealous/ insane valhallans decide to fix their bayonets and start stabbing the million year old robo skeleton covered in the skin of minors while its distracted flaying one of our own.>It goes better than you might think.>Thankfully it's just one so far, so we might just be able to hol-->A beam of green light almost hits my head.>See a necron destroyer hover in from the door.fuckthisshitimout.vox>Order a retreat back to the elevator.>Vox ahead to the minors to set up explosives and collapse the tunnels behind us.>THis is too much for guardsmen to deal with.>Try to see if we have any way of contacting anyone else with more firepower once we leave the tomb.
>>88974741>Be princeps Maximus of the warlord titian Buring Sun.>The beast is digging it's teeth into my head, I can see them pokeing in the cockpit from my throne.++WARNING WARNING++++HULL BREACH DETECTED IN COCKPIT++++WARNING WARNING++++HULL BREACH DETECTED IN LEFT LEG++++IMEDIATE MAINTENENCE REQUIDED++++ERROR ERROR++++SALTWATER DETECTED IN LEFT LEG++++IMEDIATE MAINTENANCE REQUIRED++ ++WARNING WARNING++++HOSTILE XENOS LIFE SIGNS DETECTED IN LEFT LEG++>What in the Omnissiah's name are my supposed protectors doing!?>I thought the whole point of having secutarii following me around was to deal with the infantry so I could focus on the bigger thre--KABOOM.Dakkascream of pain.Machine Spirit>Leg feels like someone ripped it off.++WARNING WARNING++++EXPLOSION DETECTED IN LEFT HIP++++STABALIZATION ERROR++>Everything has started tilting to the left.>We're going down!>Mayday Mayday!!!
>>88974741>>88976610>Be Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Turns out Blainz Biggin did more than wipe that lot of metal Boyz>More water coming in>Order all Boyz to keep movin>Wez gotz to get control of dis Stompa even tho it's tilting>Wez can have da meks patch it up later>Or turn it ta scrap>Wez keep moving up da leg swimmin when needed>As we emerge from da wata I pull out my choppa and lop off da head of a metal boy we emerged out on"KOMMANDOZ WEZ GONNA WAAAAAAGHH">Begin firing with slugga as does my otha Boyz not named Blainz >He hasn't reloaded his rokkit launcha>Stoopid Blainz
>>88964564>>88966117>>88967340>>88971937>>88974408>>88974741>>88976610>>88976700>Be datasmith.>As I flee from the necrons I see something loom over. >Look up and see an ork sub deploy a bunch of boyz in dive suits.>Realize we're going to need more than just one kastelan, so I change my route back to the airlock and start reprogramming as many battle automata to fight as I can.>Thankfully the orks are keeping most of the necrons busy.>Suddenly a giant metal hand lifts up the sub.>Omnissiah is that you?>Notice a giant scaly leg and realize it was actually just a titian fighting the sea monster that I've been hearing about for the past three months.>Also see orks on jet skis headed for the titian's leg and cutting inside.>Pull out my gamma pistol and fire a few shots at them but they don't notice and get into the god engine.>After looking up in shear shock and horror for the blasphemy for a bit I see an explosion in the titian's left leg joint.>The titian is coming down ontop of us!>I sprint away as far as I can.metallegsdon'tfailmenow.pray
>>88976610>>88976911>Be sergeant Yuri.>Make it out of the tomb and into the mine.>Start climbing up the scaffolding of the mine and firing down into the necrons and avoiding gauss shots.>Suddenly hear a loud crash from above us, like someone just dropped a Capitol Imperialis.>The tunnel shakes all around us and rocks start falling sealing the entrance to the tomb.>Before we can celebrate, water pores in from some of the holes.GoGoGo.guard>We all climb the scaffolding even faster.>Need to make it to the elevator before this whole place floods.
>>88969391>>88974741>>88976700>>88976911>>88978845>Be princeps Maximus>OMNISSIAH DAMN IT MY LEG FUCKING HURTS>Burning Sun is screaming in my head>I can feel its pain>Its my pain>I can hear my ancestors yelling at me>I hear the error messages in my mind>The reactor wants to blow, I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest>I try to soothe the machine's screaming as best I can.>Blood is spilling down my nose"We're going down" yell one of the morderati>Watch as the ocean gets closer and closersploosh.wav>We continue our fall to the ocean floor>Water is leaking into the bridge from the teeth holes the beast madeslam.vox>Everyone is jerked forward as we hit the ocean floor.>Sparks are flying from the morderati's consoles>The eyes are cracked>We've landed face down>I hear the titian groan and feel the kaiju step ontop of me>I don't need to hear it to know it is currently roaring in triumph over my defeat>Before we can even think about what to do next>Hear a banging on the door behind us>At first I think its someone hear to rescue us and use the last bit of my power to open the door>Several ork kommandos in skin tight black wet suits fall forward onto the inner face of the titian>They then get up, take out their shootas and point them all around.>Then look up and point them at me and my crew."Diz ez a stiggup. Hand ova yur dakka an da stommpa!">MFW.
>>88974408>>88976610>>88976911>>88980101>Be Secutarii Alpha Vex IV>Watch from my skorpius dunerider as my master Burning Sun leans to one side then falls into the deep>We have failed to protect our charge.>A tsunami from Burning Sun's fall rushes towards us.>We hold on but I can tell through the noosphere some of the other skorpii capsize, spilling the tech guard into the deep and the battle going on down their.>Once the wave is passed I hear a roar and look up to see the xeno beast atop our god engine letting out a mocking roar of triumphrageofthemachine.nooshere>Order all remaining Skorpii, Skitarii, and Secutarii to open fire.>Drive our hover craft closer to the colossal xeno.>Deploy pteraxii to harass the beast>The greenskins still cling to its scales like insects, chipping away at it slowly.>We could not protect Burning Sun>But in the Omnissiah's name WE WILL AVENGE IT
>Be Necron Lord Bob’Efferti of the Bob Dynasty>Wake up from million year slumber >Tomb Spyder informs me that some primitive vermin have colonized my tomb world, and are currently fighting another primitive vermin race, plus titanic sized critters that apparently evolved from the humble iquanadon during our slumber >Well, now seems like as good a time as any to start driving them from the planet >Order my legions to mobilize, but most of them fail to awaken, or are rickety malfunctioning pieces of shit, or have gone batshit insane >Hmmm, I need to think about this more >Start teleporting the most worthless ones into the primitive cities at random >Some of the primitives in dead animal fur use archaic laser weapons to damage the limbs of the most decrepit warriors >In their vegetable alcohol fuelled haze, they even start knocking over warriors and damaging their crude blades on the much stronger surfaces of the warriors’ necrodermis masks and ribs>Little of this damage is lasting of course, eventually the warriors self-repair and get back up >Some warriors are “slain” 4-5 times in a short time frame, it is debatable if their slayers even realize they are fighting the same enemy over and over>But the warriors' inability to aim their weapons, fire their weapons, or in some cases even have weapons (some have somehow discarded them in favor of strange claws), is troubling>I will need to think about this more>But first I will watch this crude 2D transmission my tomb spyder intercepted called “Planetary Government Sanctioned Pornographic Images Ration, Version 11”>How I miss having flesh...
>>88976700>>88980101>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Wez finally arrived to the head of da Stompa>Immediately fall forward because tilting>Get back up and point my slugga at da umies along with my otha Boyz"Diz ez a stiggup. Hand ova your dakka an da Stompa">I have my slugga pointed directly at da head of da umie in da fancy chair>Can hear da Biggun roaring it's 'ead off>Radio Boy wants to get da boss on da line>Tell him to do it whilst we continue to hold up da 'umies
>Be sergeant Yuri.>Get out of elevator on the hive level.>Had to watch that stupid vid again.>Look out one of this places many windows>See legio cybernetica, fighting Necrons, fighting orks in dive suits.>With some skitarii sprinkled in here and there for good measure.>All around the corpse of a fallen titian.>And a giant Kaiju stomping around.>Wow, sure does suck out there.…>I wonder if this hive has a place that sells grox dogs?
>>88983030>Be princeps Maximus>I try to open my mouth and explain to the ork that even though my Titian is quite literally dead in the water, their was no way I’m the warp I was giving it up.>But instead I cough up blood and slump forward in my throne without getting a word out>Thankfully the leader doesn’t seam to notice as his vox operator hands him a tin can on a string and he starts speaking into it.>I lean to one side and notice my morderati slowly going for their side arms>Hope the green skins don’t notice.
>>88982823>be necron destroyer>have vague memories of this planet being an ice world before going to sleep>was planning on melting the caps and drowning everything when I woke up>planet now full of life sustaining oceans>have to do this the old fashioned way.>annoyed sigh.wav
>>88983030>>88987256>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Da Umie isn't giving us da Stompa or da Dakka>As a display of my threat I shoot one of his umie friends he's leaning ova towardsheadshot.bloodymessperk>Bits of brain go all ova da place"Givin ya a last chance umie, hand ova da Stompa! Or else wez gonna krump ya harder den yer friends">Aim my slugga at his head as I order my Boyz to keep all dere sluggas aimed at the two umies>All da while the Big monster is roaring it's 'ead off"Shut ya gob ya oversized squiggly beast"
>>88987948>Still bez DylWARGH>Radio Boy finally gotz da communications ready>Tell em to keep sluggas aimed whilst I talk to da Boss"Boss wez secured da Stompa just waiting for da Umie to get outta his fancy chair, wez already made an example of his friend""Why you wastin time on umies ya git just shoot em!""Because Boss wez wants them propaly disconnected from da Stompa don't we?""Just shoot da Uman and get me dat Stompa before da beast completely scraps it. Sending ova da Meks now""Alroight boss undastood"
>>88987948>>88988067>Be me>Princeps Maximus of the warlord titian Burning Sun.>Watch in slow motion as one of my moderati’s head gets blown off>Blood, augments, and grey matter splattering across my face and his console before he slumps forward>Blood dripping down to the green skins and into the now knee deep water where they’re standing“Last chance git.”>Well I guess I have no other choice >Omnissiah forgive me>I lean back in my throne and use my plugs to activate the reactors self destruct sequence >Now to keep them here for just a few seconds
>>88988067>>88989611>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>Umie reclines in his chair>I fink he's giving up>I grin a toothy grin as I aim my slugga at his head and blow his brains out >My other boy blows his other friend's head off and I scramble towards da fancy chair>Order Boyz to stations and begin screaming at da top of my lungs"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH">Get a few beeps popping up>Something about a self destruct sequence>Ignore it and order Boyz to WAAAAGHHHH some more>Eventually the power of da WAAAGH allows us to start up da Stompa>Slowly it begins to rise so I give it a kick and it begins to fully ready itself>Self destruct sequence alarm is annoying>Block it out and ready da fist to punch da big sea squig"HAHA WEZ GOT A STOMPA NOW BOYZ WAAAAGHHHH">Uppercut da Sea Squig as da Stompa slowly rises da Leg tilting us left slightly>Self destruct sequence still annoying me>Order Radio to smack wherever the alarm is with a hammer
>>88989611>>88990064>Be me.>Secutarii Vex IV>Suddenly witness Burning Sun stand up somehow and knock the beast off of itself.>While the Kaiju is getting back up the Titian then uppercuts it making it staggerWhatInTheOmnissiah’sName.Datapacket>Burning Sun is sparking like crazy and still missing it’s left leg.>No idea how it managed to stand up or how it’s keeping its balance.>The water around the Titian has started to boil and my Geiger counter is going off>I think the reactor has started to melt down>Trying to contact the Princeps but all I’m getting is static and waaaghing.Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.gif
>>88990064>>88991572>Bez me Ork Kommando Nob DylWARGH>As wez upcutted da Sea Squig I laugh in glee as suddenly it starts feeling warmer>Da alarm is saying 5 "OI WHEREZ RADIO AT! HE SHOULD AVE BASHED IT INTO WORKIN CONDITION">Iz get distracted as da Squiggly beast thrusts it's jaws towards da Stompa>We have da Stompa punch it in da jaw breaking off its reef>Its lodged on da Stompa's fist"4,3,2""OI FIX DA FING""1""Oh Zog">The Stompa begins to explode taking both da Stompa and da Squiggly Sea Beast with it in a giant explosion >All of Da Kommandoz are killed in the blast>Scrap metal from the Burning Sun begins to fall towards the ground after being sent up into the sky
>>88985320>>88989611>>88991572>>88991736>>88991755>Be sergeant Yuri.>After a few hours of searching we managed to find a diner that was still open on the opposite side of the hive from the fighting.pic related>We all take up a couple booths in the back corner and start having a good time, laughing, joking enjoying ourselves.>Soon we hear what sounds like an explosion and feel the hive shake.>The diner staff look around a bit worried wondering what just happened, but we all toast to not being anywhere near whatever that was with our recently arrived drinks.>We are effectively stranded here for the foreseeable future, so we all start betting on what kind of enemy is going to show up next before we find a way off this planet.
>>88974408>>88989611>>88990064>>88991736>>88992269>Bez me>Kaptain ov da Red Orktober>Humie stompa drops me ship inta da wauta >Mek boy givz me an air mask befur I drown>E den getz te work fixen de sub>Unforchunatley duck tape dun work so well unda wauta>Az he try te fix et de humie stompa goze down den get up an xplodes couple a sekonds lata >We ez sent flyin unda da sea and krash inte de humie cita>Wez krash thru a dome ova a parkPic related>Adjust me kaptain hat>”Roit, sound off. Whoz still aloiv?”
>Be me>Mordo Octavius of the Deathwatch>Heading to a water world with my squad to contain foul xenos, "Kaiju" class>Arrive in system and begin orbiting the planet>Our objective should be near an underwater hive city>The xenos slumber for now, but an awakening could doom countless citizens, and most importantly, the resources this world produces>Even the slightest disturbance could awaken them>Go through the usual scans of the world and system news>Nuclear explosion detected near a battle site between a kaiju and a titan>Maybe the Deathwatch is not needed for once?>Check the holovids of the battle>That's funny>It's smaller than expected>And why is there only one?
>>88991736>>88992269>>88993518>>88994244>Be me>Ancient sea creature that was originally frozen in ice before the great thaw>Called the Great Leviathan in days long since passed>I am stirred awake by the sounds of a detonation going off>Nuclear by my best estimates>I fully emerge from my resting place at the very depths>A destroyed mega structure of black stone is where I slept>I break through it and begin my ascent to the upper parts of the ocean>My mind slowly fully awakening it's immense psychic energy>Upon its full awakening and upon reaching a vast mega city I let out a psychic roar across the world>The Great Leviathan awakes
>>88993518>>88992269>>88996793>Bez Kaptain ov da Red Orktober>Mek boy ez worken on da half uv da sub>Some uv da boyz and grotz who waz in da sub wiff uz ez helpen>Sumhow diz park aznt flooded yet>Muz hav a good dranaje sistum >Dezide te go fur a walk an look around>Maybe foind sumtin te krump>See sum hoomiez come out of one ov dem hoomie holez wiff da metal lids>Dow de haz mur limbz>Dey start painten de wall wiff a weird symbol“Oi wat youz doin?”>Dey run like grotz an lift up anotha hoomie hole an go down>Look at de symbolPic related>Funny, kinde looks loik dat biggun de humie stompa waz krummpen
>>88996793>>88994244>>88997914>>88992269>Be The Great Leviathan>Turns out there were plenty of other sea lifeforms that evolved during my slumber>Large fish>Massive crustaceans>And even those Cephalopods evolved into formidable beasts>All bow before my presence however as I see the partially destroyed corpse of a creature I do not recognise>Seems to be a beast evolved for the seas yet seems so very off world>Furthermore it's colour doesn't blend in contrast to me which is the closest thing it could be>White and purple>Though the red of its blood and the black of nuclear detonation did make it harder to identify>I let out my psychic power into the world trying to probe any minds of all lifeforms
>>88982823>>88987526>>88989611>>88991572>>88991736>>88991755>>88992269>Be datasmith.>Witness the warlord titian miraculously stand up then explode, killing the beast from a safe distance.Kaboom.mp3>The crater left behind by the detonation reveals an entrance to the tomb below the hive city.>A whirlpool starts to form, sucking in many surviving necrons, orks, kastelans, and Skitarii.toilet_flush.wav >Not sure if it will actually solve all our Necron and ork problems but it certainly can’t make them worse.>Watch the massive whirlpool for a bit from the safety of my position.>Almost looks like a hurricane next to the hive city.>Not sure how long it will be before it floods the entire tomb.
>>88994244>>88996793>>88998540>>88999369>Be sergeant Yuri.>Our meals have finally arrived.>My men and women dig into grox burgers and grox dogs.>I can not express how fucking good this stuff tastes after eating nothing but rations.>While we eat we see on the news a giant whirlpool has formed at the sight of the battle.>Also an even bigger xeno monster has appeared there.>However the Deathwatch have apparently also arrived in system and should be deploying to deal with it any minute now.>We salute the mad bastards in the emperor's finest.>And once again toast to being far away from the cluster fuck with our refilled drinks.>Then some of the diner staff come out with a cake and candles singing.>My men told them it was my birthday.>Awe you guys shouldn't have.
>>88982823>>88996793>>88998540>>88999369>Be Trazyn the Infinite>Get word about a giant creature that’s apparently the last of its species and has just woken upAFineAdditionToMyCollection.Engram>Open dolmen gate to tomb, only to find out it’s full of water>Manage to close gate before it floods my museumhmmm.hieroglyph>This may be harder than I thought.>Looks like we’re taking the fleet this time
>>88994244>>88993518>>88997914>>89000974>Bez Kaptain ov da Red Orktober>Make way bak te Red Orktober>Ask Mek boy if be got de sub wurken agan>He saz he needs a new back part te get et te work>Were ez we supoze te get a new bak?>Not like one ez juz gonna fall out uv de-->Suddenly hear a crash abuv uz>Beakie drop pod slamz down en de park an de Deff Watch comez out"Seriuzly? Ya koulda just uzed de hole wez alredy made earlyr.""Bloody ru--">Dey start uzen der dakka>But dez no match fur me boyz deep sea suitz and me officar shootaWAAAGH.Ork>Wez suron an kill de squad uv beakies>Ask de mek eff wez can uze de drop pod az a new back>He doez sum kalkulatshuns an sayz ets possuble>But wez deffenetly need te paint et red te really work>Were ez we suppoze te find red paint?>Look at de dead beakiesIdea.kunnin
>>88994244>>88998540>>88999369>>89000974>>89004415>Be Mordo Octavius of the Deathwatch>As soon as the Astropath's nose started bleeding we began deployment>Not a moment too soon>There's a whirlpool leading to a Necron tomb below the city>And a giant suspiciously coloured leviathan is also emerging from the growing maelstrom>So much for an easy job>Just glad there's only one, so farSUFFER NOT THE ALIEN TO LIVE.mp3>Land in the underwater hive city>Seal up the hole made by the pod with rockcrete foam>Stupid fucking idea putting a hive city underwater>Get a report that an entire squad has been wiped out by orkswat.jpg>Decide we need meatshields, ahem, auxiliaries to help us on the mission>Head over to imperial guard signals in a nearby restaurant>Why am I hearing singing?
>>89004664>Be sergeant Yuri.>Don't even get to take a single bite of cake before a Death Watch marine squad kicks down the door.>Their leader looks around confused for a bit before his eyes find my men.>He then stomps over and demands our help slaying the beast.>uhhhh, why the frak are you coming to us?1. We don't have fully sealed suits of power armor.2. We aren't genetically modified super soldiers.3. We don't have bolters.4. We don't have any vehicles.5. We aren't from an organization that was specifically founded to fight xeno horrors.6. We were here to exterminate some necrons (and we failed at that) not slay a kaiju.7. We're a relatively small armored regiment that just took losses.>Pretty sure this is one of the few cases where the marines outnumber the guardsmen.>How does this guy expect us to make any meaningful contribution?
>>89004664>>89005013>>89004415>Be Mordo Octavius of the Deathwatch>Found the local guardsmen>They were in the middle of a birthday celebration...>Now the leader is lecturing me, a veteran of a thousand wars who's spent more time fighting than he's been alive, about why he won't join>If I were more zealous I would punch this fools head off>Unfortunately for him I am down a squad"I have already lost one whole squad to greenskins. You will be their replacement.">Still not sure how that happened"Brother Sulla! Give this one a spare melta charge, and lead them to the entrance. Destroy the source of these foul monstrosities.">Start planning a revenge attack on those orks with the rest of my squad.
>>88998540>>88999369>>89004664>Be The Great Leviathan>After failing to psychically probe the life forms I swim towards the city>Tendrils follow behind me as I speed through the sea>Go past a few glass panes at such speed that it looks like a blur of dark green>I then stop at what I can only assume is their biggest building and simply float in place>Staring down the small creatures that have built this city for themselves >Let out a physically roar to make myself known>My form is akin to that of a massive sea serpent, with several tendrils behind me and one on either side of my body as if they were arms>As I stare down to the lifeforms below I see some strange multi-limbed ones start praying to me>I use my psychic abilities to probe their minds>They think I'm something called a star child>I'm flattered by the compliment but that's factually untrue>Decide to start my attack now>My tendrils lash out towards the protected city >Whipping some of their protective layers so that they may break
>>89006059>Be Sergeant Yuri.>"I have already lost one whole squad to greenskins. You will be their replacement.">Still don’t think this guy gets just how far ahead of us space marines are supposed to be.>Give us a line to hold and we’ll do it, but actually killing a giant monster in the middle of the ocean should be their job.>"Brother Sulla! Give this one a spare melta charge, and lead them to the entrance. Destroy the source of these foul monstrosities.">A marine with black bird symbol with a blood drop in the middle grumbles before giving us a single astartes sized melta charge.>It’s painted blue and yellow and covered in norse ruins.>The marines then leave like this is supposed to settle the matter.>I’ll consider this a birthday present.“Waiter? Can we use THIS to pay for all our meals and the damages caused to your door by our uninvited guests?”
>>89004415>>89006229>Bez Kaptain uv da Red Orktober>A bit of work, and a paint job latar an da Red Orktober ez ready te swim agan >Now wiff sum extra dakka curtezy uv da beakies>Nowz we need te smash diz do—>A giant tentakle detroyz de dome, flooden de park>Muz be me luky day>Me boyz leg it inta de sub cloze de hatch an start de enjen>Wiff de sub be en so poony now we ez twize az fast>Uze de new dakka on de tentakleWAAAGH.Ork
>>89006229>>89009246>Be The Great Leviathan>After destroying a dome I pull my tendril back in only for it to receive some wounds from a weirdly designed vessel>One of my eyes turns towards it as I let out a roar>Glare at the vessel once more and begin to swim at great speed towards it >Use psychic energy to fire at it whilst approaching>Mostly in the form of sending out arcs of lighting towards it>The sounds of the lightning are audible even to the scavengers that reside in the Abyss>Let out another roar this time I enhance it with psychic might to bring all sea creatures to aid me>They obey seeing as I am the most powerful thing in the food chain >Soon enough I'll be joined by every sea creature of the planet for the assault>At this point I want everything off of my planet>A tentacle of my slaps at the vessel during the approach smacking it around slightly
>>89009246>>89009419>Bez Kaptain ov Da Red Orktober>De tentakle pullz away an we ear a roar of pain>De new beakie enjen ez worken loik a dream>We ez suppa fast now>Our driver luvz et an sayz e feels loik a fly boy>Da mega biggun startz te foier lightning frum ez ead >Howeva etz too slow for our red paint>Driver ez hooting and waaaging az he dodjez da boltz aven a great time>We ez tumblen around de inzide loik when de humie uzed da ship az a choppa >Et getz luky tentakle hitz uz an we start spinnun loik a drill“Weev lost a wing!” Cryz de mek >Our driva dozent miz a beat an keepz goin despoit de spinnen “Wat youz finken uv doin?”>De driver keepz ez oiz forward“Ez aimen fur de oi”>Oh Zog!
>>89009419>>89009764>Be The Great Leviathan>The vessel seems to be spinning out of control>So I fire out another beam of psychic energy into it opening my jaw widefinalflash.beam>The beam fires out and hits the vessel but doesn't rip it asunder>This is because I saw a giant crab and wanted to let him have some fun>As it spirals down the crab grabs it with its pincers and begins to crush it>I turn my attention back to the city and fire another beam this time towards the tallest building I can see>Colour me surprised>I'm actually having a decent time>Haven't had this much fun since I hunted down and ate that white whale that used to live here
>>88997914>>89004415>>89006229>>89009419>>89009764>>89010096>Be Sergeant Yuri.>Thankfully the diner staff was nice enough to accept the astartes melta bomb as payment.>Finally we get to finish my cake in relative peace.>Aside from the Kaiju attack.>After that we started looking for a way off this planet before the tyranids, or chaos, or something show up.>As we go through the hive we see out one of the windows a half ork sub half drop pod spinning, dodging lightning and tentacles.>It passes out of view of the window but then something bright happens that we can’t really see.>Then the hive starts shaking again.>I shake my head.>How an astartes expected us to fight a monster like that is beyond me.>But if anyone could handle it, I’m sure the Death Watch will be fine.…>We turn a corner and find some miners with forehead ridges and extra limbs.>We both stare at each other for a bit before they suddenly start firing their guns at us.>My men duck into nearly shops and start firing from the doorways.>Never a dull moment in the guard, no matter how hard we try.
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors>Our regiment is pretty much just a few platoons now>Not even sure High Command remembers we are still alive, otherwise they probably would have merged us with one of the other Valhallan Regiments in the sector >Not even sure if anyone important on the planet realizes we are here, we kind of just got kicked off the decrepit ore barge we were travelling on ever since the Marines rescued us from that forge world >Yuri is still in charge, but he doesn’t really seem to care anymore, so we just wander about the city avoiding fights with orks and necron >Eventually everyone gets pretty drunk and end up wandering off in different directions>End up in some upscale club with a few other soldiers>Everyone is celebrating the end of the world by wearing weird masks, snorting coke, and being degenerates >Grab a glass of hard liquor with coke mixed into it >It isn’t tanna but I guess it will do...
>>89010096>Be The Great Leviathan>After firing my beam of psychic energy j swim around the city staring down at the mortals below>Seems the ones whose minds I probed have begun to fight the ones who don't look like them>Well this got alot more interesting>Doubly so now that some giant squids have decided to come and see what all the fuss is about>I dominate their minds and order them to attack the citysmugdevil.grin>Ready another beam of psychic energy to fire at anything really just got to not hit the squids
>Be Trazyn the Infinite>Fleet arrives in system>As we make our way to the planet we find a Death Watch battle barge in orbitOooShiny.Kleptomaniac >Should I stay focused and get what I came for?>Or get distracted by the new thing?ChoicesChoices.Holo