Still waiting for test cricket. In the meantime: t20 blast street shitter franchise legaue and Essex vs Ireland tour match
YFO (Yank Flags Out)
i love watchin these lads hit a proper home run over the line very good game you got here
TNO (Test Nations Only)
The future of a*glo shitter cricket is watching contracted a*glo shitters play tear round in the IPL. Embrace it.
>>132075095I hope this arrogant faggot gets shown his place. Fuck him for ruining the gentleman's game
Reminder: if the ECB had any integrity any player that hits a 6 in the Ireland Test would be dropped for the Ashes.However the cowards will not do this and will continue slowly killing cricket
The more I muse upon it, the more I can't understand Josh Tongue's call-up11 wickets at an average of 41 in Div 2 is not quite Test form, even if he did get the scalps of Smith and PujaraCan understand why they wouldn't call up the likes of Rushworth and Sanderson now (although they should have in the past), but surely Sam Cooke (21 Div 1 wickets at an average of 18) is more deserving of a call-upVery rum decision, even if it is great to see a Pear getting international honours
>>132075207Bit disrespectful to to the King mate
I'd call up Tom Bailey, but I'm biased
drinking a beer from w*llington atm
>>132075207>t. Seething GautamI kid, he and Brohit need to step aside from the T20 side, still ok for tests and ODIs
>>132075420Yeah another one who should have been in the mix years ago, but is probably too old for them to consider nowI think the selectors prioritise pace over everything else, and typically don't select any quick who doesn't bowl at least 85I guess time will tell if that's a good decision or not, I'm a Moneyball man and would select almost entirely on averages myself
When is India going to select a white player. Absolutely insane that they haven't picked one yet there must be a few good white Indian crickets floating about. Every other team is gracious enough to include Indians. We've got sodhi and Patel and ravindra and all the other non racist nations have some Indians in the past. Just calling out the blatant racism
>>132075579Sanju Samson is wh*te
>>132075501This is the thinking, Anderson doesn't bowl at any massive pace anymore but gets picked because of who he is and he usually still gets good economy. So why not pick his Lancashire teammate who had a fantastic year last season
>>132075786It'd be really interesting to see how elite county trundlers (the likes of Rushworth and Roland-Jones, maybe also Bailey) get on in home Tests at international level desuI guess the thinking is that they wouldn't be good enough to trouble international batsmen due to insufficient pace, particularly in overseas conditions without the nice green wickets and cloud cover
>>132075841Overseas conditions is an issue for certain, but here you have test batsman like Smith and Labuschagne getting out cheap to division 2 bowlers, surely some must be worth a call up. Broad and Anderson are at their end and Woakes et al won't last forever
People who should be (figuratively) executed during the revolution:HR hintsAnybody who unironically uses LinkedInRob Key
>>132075501>I think the selectors prioritise pace over everything elseyou must be joking, yes they often like a good pace gimmick but they definitely don't prioritise pace as a rule>>132075786>but gets picked because of who he is and he usually still gets good economykek he gets picked because he's basically still our best bowler stats-wise along with Robbopretty sure this must be a samefag
Well you'd be wrong
>>132075951FFS once more that should be bints not hints
>surname is Tongue>several English surnames are derived from occupations>gets into the test team with a 40+ avg in div 2really making me think rn ngl
>>132076043It's not their only criteria, but they pretty much never pick a seam bowler who doesn't hit 85+. Only recent exceptions I can think of are Coverton (after years of dominating the county circuit) and Curran (who's in as an all rounder and probably also sucking off the selectors) Did I miss anyone?
Phone posting isn't healthy, I know this as I am doing it myself
>>132076138True but my non-work laptop is in the other room and would take me literally minutes to set up
>>132075951As opposed to ironically using linkedin
the moment zachy outed himself as a boomerbook phoneposter is the exact moment he lost the story and bard became /cric/ protagonist
>>132076618being a redditor is worse
LANCS LIGHTNING vs LEICS FOXEShttps://youtu.be/AHWcsQgcIwU
>>132076337I ironically use LinkedIn to ironically keep myself open to new career opportunitiesThe boomers who use it as if it's FB (usually middle-aged middle-management men, but not always) are the ones who must be (figuratively) executed come the revolution
uh oh foxcucks
The only thing I really love about the blast is the YouTube comments being full of Indians demanding wickets or certain amounts of runs so they win their bets. Then calling it rigged when they don't get it
>>132077066Women in Lancashire look like THIS?!
Lancs can count themselves lucky Naveen ul-Haq isn't available yetIf he were, 52 runs would already be too big an ask
finna be a white boy summer in 2023
Why are they playing this game at midday, by the way? What's the sense in opening up a T20 campaign with a match where any toilsman or schoolsman has to miss out? Doesn't make any sense
>>132077321Man United and Chelsea play this evening, don't want the traffic in Manchester
Utter state of places that aren't Lancashire
>>132077425Realistically, what traffic will you get for a cricketing match? Few hundred people at most would actually travel from outside of Manchester to watch it
Matt Parkinson bowling to Callum ParkinsonHas there EVER been another case in English cricket when one brother bowls to another?Yes, probably
>>132077457Could just also be Manchester not wanting both happening at once. >>132077475But had it happened in the blast?Also probably
Small reminder that a Hindu /businessmind/ Rishi Sunak saved a*glo shitters from recession. But worry not he'll be voted out for queer stammer, who'll be overthrown by the terrorist "part n parcel" paki mayor.
>>132077533Don't know how late the football match was rearranged, but you'd have thought they could work around thisBit of a damp squib of an opening fixture if you're having to play it at lunch on a Thursday
Sunak admitted to enjoying Jilly Cooper novels, he should get voted out for that alone
Luke Wood was shit before his loan spell at the Pears, but is now a world-class T20smanLikewise Zaheer Khan and Saeed Ajmal were essentially nobodies before they benefitted from exposure to the Worcestershire talent factory
Will Leics make a 100?
Really so many seething pajeets in the comments, imagine betting on the Foxes doing anything
>World Cup-winning batter Jason Roy looks set to to cancel his England contract to take up a deal with Major League Cricket in the United States
For me, Lancashire's kit is too dark. Should be a lighter shade of Red
Does Cat Stevens still have his foreskin or did he chop it off?
>slogs it high up >gets caught Even fucking u11s know this
>>132077640He hinted in the radio interview last evening that he was really pissed off with how ECB treated him and was thankful to the IPL and the Saffa IPL in particular for rehabilitating him. Plus his surname is Roy so it's apt he plays for Kolkata.
>>132077674Daft cricket desu, as soon as they were 7 down they should have just traded in 1s and 2s until the final over (maybe final two overs if they avoided losing any further wickets)
>>132077598wheres my 500 rupee bet gone? Now i'm going to go off and shit up the stream chat like shitjeets cousins.
>>132077598Apparently not, farcical making Lancs chase this just give them the win
>sidekock still hurt by the broken family jibeTell us what happened wiv yer dad, i'm here to listen.
When are Lancashire supposed to get this new outground in Leyland to play one day matches at?
>>132077756They were talking about that on one of the streams I don't think they will be there for a while
EasyChaseBros. . .
Fucking girls raw is actually quite painfulMy dick hurts
Maybe consider using a bit more lube, if your hurting she will be hurting but she won't tell you that
>>132078280Nope this is either a logistical issue or vag juice is eroding my knob Pain
>>132078045Sounds like you're not making her wet enough
Suspicion Lancs might nab this
>>132078427Nope, not an issue
>>132077083would imagine most of the blast, hundred etc. is finely controlled from the basement of some sweets shop in mumbai. surely they'd be better asking their uncle rajesh for when to expect the wickets falling than waste time on yt comments
>>132078377we're in here lads
Mad that some peewee talking about how he can't turn on his imaginary slope hooker gf almost kills a thread.
Going to watch Beau is Afraid (2023) at the cinema
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak
Women's Romance Enjoyer Rishi Sunak
606,000 new forun expats into the UK in the last year :)
since I started listening to blood meridian on audiobook at my desk at work, people have stopped coming over to bother me.but we do have an HR meeting next Monday morning
hardcore gay porn
>>132083397That's only net migration, there's more new foruns than that
the isle of man looks nice
literally sounds like 'I love man'surely they knew this
the isle of woman is temperamental
Surrey have 9 competent bowlsmen in their side todayOpened the batting with Sunil Narine for some reasonInteresting choices from them
who would win a fight between the curran brothers and the root brothers
now I know there's a real dutch anon but he only shows up when NL are playingthinking this might be certain man with a fresh VPN desu
>>132085183or was there?
I fucking love gay porn
Forgot this was on as well:London derby; Middx vs Surreyhttps://youtu.be/Rlxb79cB1fU
>>132085226Probably desu, he posted pictures from the groundNice lad but a bit too left-wing for my liking/cric/ is a chud general
>>132085374just a plebbitor who reads all the guardian headlines they wank to over thereprobably never looks beyond them like most of them
>the donedon derbynah I'm alright thanks
making fun of reddit when replying to avowed redditor bard. not sure he'll like that
sloppy gay porn
sensing a new gimmick
umpire was standing literally in front of the wicket and couldn't tell if it was a run out, where do they get these clowns?
>/cric/ is a chud generaldebunkedwe're a based high IQ centrist general
Hurricane Hamish was YA cricketing kinoSo was Glory Gardens
Children's rather than YA actually
haven't thought about Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) once (except now) since seeing it on the weekend. no idea why it was hyped so much. very forgettable.
Maybe I should drop the postdoc gimmick and devote my life to writing YA cricketing kino, there's a gap in the marketCould do it in civil service hours too, nice bit of moonlightingA gritty coming-of-age drama set in a cricketing club
>>132086590Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) was a good filmObviously not even close to Synecdoche, New York (2008) but a nice bit of filmmaking nonethelessI dropped this truthnuke on /cric/ about 6 months ago but you were having none of it, even though you hadn't seen it
>>132086439young adult is basically children's thoughweirdest naming ever, for like 13-16 years old
piddlesex looking quite fucked
>>132086758Age range for those books is probably 8-12yoMy own little bastards will probably be a bit more intellectually advanced so I'll get them reading those sorts of books at 6-8, then move them onto loftier tomes afterwards
>>132087368yeah a male 14-15 probably just reads adult booksjust mean the official designation is still 13-16 despite being called young "adult" and the reality is the audience is even lower (or women)
will be quite interesting to see ireland losing to essex
>>132087429Isn't it just the same as teen fiction? Not sure why they dropped the one for the other. I guess maybe because people in their 20s and 30s still wanted to read books like that (due to general dumbing down of society) and they wanted to make it less embarrassing for them to buy those books
Graham Souness is at the cricket presenting the MOM award for absolutely no reason kek
On track to work 80 hours this week and half of it was unpaid #protectingoureconomy#savinglives
>>132088556If you do any unpaid work then you're quite simply a moron
t. boy who has never been in a high power job (like me)
ting ting Debbie wants her latest PowerPoint bard
Beau is afraid was good
zachy getting filtered by beau is afraid
saw zachy get filtered by Collateral the other day
>>132090136just posted it was good you mong
Just done a rough shitty demo of i wanna be your lover. Who wants to hear it?
>>132073405Life's a BEACHGet it?
is it true the average South African doesn't give a single fuck about cricket anymore?
>>132090858no idea sorry, i've never been to south africa
heard it looks like brazil
Nah, mostly into box and such these daysWatched a bit of the women's cricket. not bad.
Listen up.I own this general now. You are all work me.See you in the morning.
How can it be that the original T20 league is also the least exciting T20 league?
>>132098371a*glo shitter mismanagement, greed, short-sightedness and selfishness. For examplehttps://www.opindia.com/2023/05/sudan-british-man-shot-wife-starved-uk-embassy-evacuation-abandoned/
White whores are absolute roasties
>>132098516zachy the incel
Reporting for work in /cric/ General
will smeed in 11 hours
bard you planning on watching Barbie (2023)?
How can I be an incel when I had sex last night Literally doesn’t stack up mate Braincells
yeah... in your MIND lol
When your finger pushes through the toilet paper and pokes into your anus Also known as "the zachy wipe"
Do you only use like 2 squares or somethingI give mine a nice thick scrunch for a thorough scrape
>>132098967nobody knows this feeling you weirdo
Would have been nice to head to New Road this evening for the T20 vs Yorkshire, but at £25 per ticket I've quite simply been priced outA fee of £5 would be fairer for a match vs a team bottom of Div 2 in the county game
Got zero (0) plans for my 4 (four) day bank holiday weekendGonna ask to work the Tuesday instead, and just take the holiday some other dayGuess I'll just do freelance toil on the Monday to keep me busy, get the cricket on in the backgroundSuch is life
Going Bristol for a stag
>>132099193Can I come? x
Paintballing? Quadbiking? Karaoke? or just a boring pissup?
>>132099206Escape room Then mostly just a boring piss upTbh I find activities boring >>132099200Yeah
>>132099226some escape rooms can be good, if they have an interesting theme
>>132099206t. virgin and possibly muslim
>>132099245a stag do is supposed to be special, just sitting around getting drunk is no difference to any other lads night out
>>132099245>doesn't know around 50% of /cric/ are teetotalchads
Beau is afraid might possibly be a modern triumph and a rare gem
>>132099296does that include the ~80% that are apparently Zachy?
I'm so teetotal I keep all my Whisky closed away in a cupboard where nobody can see it
>>132099290Lads night's out don't happen except for stag dos after you get past the age of 25 unfortunately
The Arsefucker will *not* like having his gimmick stolen
If the percent starts with a four you can drink four before midday I reckon
essex v direland looms
No point drinking anything below 5.2% imho
Sun's over the yard arm somewhere lad, drink away
>>132099599does that count percentages in the 40's?
another friday night of drunk posting on the cards zachary lad?
Essex vs Irelandhttps://youtu.be/Y4iaSKFj7H0
In the mouth a desert
Mad what's happened to modern manLads WhatsApp going off at the moment with one fella trying to arrange drinks tomorrow, but two other fellas replied to say that they're already doing things in the morning and not sure if they'll be able to get permission from the missus to go out in the evening tooWhen did this become the norm?
all I'm saying is none of the presumptive Ashes squad have ever bowled *me* outso how can we trust them?
like how bard pretends to have fully accepted volceldom and puts up a front on /cric/ about saving money by living in near total isolation but - in the background - is scurrying around desperately trying to organise socials
time was you'd just grab your cap and leave the house, pop down the pub for a couple of hours, wouldn't even need a group of lads, just speak to whoever is therethe west has fallen and Zachy is 100% to blame
>>132100308Bard the "Clinically Frugal but I insist on buying Lurpak because supermarket butter is too povvo for me"
>>132100281I've never used whatsapp muchsometimes people ask me to add thembut I never look at it. I think I got it for a uni project like 10 years ago and barely glance at it since.
only use whatsapp because that's what my mother's side of the family use to talk to each other. there is a work group I'm in as well, but I never post in it
>>132100308I'm not trying to organise this one - went through a phase of doing that but got rejected every time and it was a bit disheartening, so I've just given up now>>132100322Agreed>>132100338Would never buy Lurpak desu. Maybe the Lidl equivalent but that's pretty expensive too. Mostly go for their utterly butterly rip-off which I think is just 99p per tub at the mo (risen quite a lot in the last year, used to be cheaper)
Bard "I have a psychological condition where I am unable to spend money needlessly but insist that I can only live in Oxfordshire"
>>132100322MedsGoes for @bard too>>132100411Lurpak isn't that overpricedYou can use it for cooking also
Bard "the very thought of having to talk to a deano estate agent on the phone makes me soaked in sweat"
>>132100648you know what you did
pretty sure zachy admitted to being a 'bizzaro tarq' at one point and am certain bard must have too. the latter has kept up this 'echelons of the lower middle class' (or whatever it is) gimmick up for a while though, so might need to go back to the 16-17 archives to confirm
Everyone goes in thinking they can handle a deano estate agent and then all of a sudden they find themselves the proud owner of an overpriced terrace shoebox
Bard you coming Bristol mate?I'll just say your my business partner
Between Brum and Bristol is a nice part of England
>>132100625Well where the frig else should I live then? >>132100648It's what, £3-4 per tub? Way too costly for a humble man of modest salary like me. Use olive oil for cooking, and my fake utterly butterly for a spread. >>132100665This also applies to mechanics btw, my car's been broken for about 6 months but I haven't got it fixed because I refuse to phone them up - ask them to do a quote by e-mail instead, but the bastards don't reply (probably because those worthless working-class grease monkeys can't read) >>132100699I have never admitted to being a tarq because I amn't one (and therefore it'd be a bizarre thing to admit to)
>>132100707So true>>132100836Nah, Bristol is full of insufferable left-wing twatsAs a chud it is not my scene AT ALL>>132100875wtf this is literally where I live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTE7tlqnUd8it's up lads
me, going to buy a casa del wog, spearwood, hammy hill, coobellup somewhere like that. big block, quality construction probably done by nonno himself back when when he arrived, guaranteed to have a decent sized garden. just out of freo, and all that for 400k or thereabouts. the dream
>>132100281when you turn 28. it gets worse once they start having kids from what I hear. basically if you're not in a committed long term relationship by that point then your social life is over by no fault of your own
>>132100880symptomatic of a lot of garages. my dad had his MOT months ago and despite calling up multiple times the place has still not sent him an invoice so he can pay for it.
I'm an anarcho-communist so I love Bristol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY5Hq_5FbT0 speaks to the inner sole
at 2:53, phwoar
>>132100965At 30 it's effectively OVER for my social life and has been since the age of about 26 (but that's tied in with the pandemic - maybe it would have lasted longer if not for that, but maybe not)Basically just got stag dos and birthdays in the social calendar now, can never even go out for drinks outside of those sorts of eventsI guess if I moved back to a place like L*ndon then I would find other lonely sad sack overgrown manchildren in my situation but that's a bit of a grim prospect
Feel like the reason several of my mates' girlfriends try to set me up with their single friends is that they recognise the undeniable truthnuke that it's only socially acceptable for their partner to continue hanging out with me if I'm in a relationshipCouples only hang out with couples I don't like it, but that's just society for you in the year twenty twenty three
>>132101187another overlap (I'm a youthful 28 but)don't even reckon going to donedon would do it though. here all my mates all work on literally the same street as me (any business wanted to be taken seriously needs an office there), at most 500m away, but you can't talk anyone into sticking around for a beer at a pub on a friday because they have to cook dinner with their mrs or some shit. such is life.
>>132101187the pandemic has definitely affected things, back in 2019 my friends and I would meet up regularly for drinks or just to play board games. once lockdown started we moved all that online and we basically haven't gone back to meeting up. think we have met up 3-4 times since the restrictions were lifted
>>132101264Well that's the thing, you have to find other single people and just accept that it'll be very difficult to carry on seeing them once they get into long-term relationshipsSurely single people in their late 20s / early 30s are plentiful in L*ndon, but unfortunately all of my existing friends are in long-term relationships Might have to start surreptitiously spreading rumours about infidelity etc to break some of them up and recover my social life a bit
>>132101339I think it had an effect - basically acted as a clear demarcation between youth and proper adulthood for my friends, encouraged them to all move in with each other and make their relationships more seriousHaving said that, I was whinging about this for at least a year before the pandemic, complaining that none of my friends in relationships would come out for a few beers on a Friday or Saturday evening even though we were 26-27yo and all living in L*ndonI peaked at 24 and it's been a steep decline since then
>>132101339we had like maybe three months of a semi lockdown here and even that was enough to torpedo my post-university social life. can't imagine how catastrophic it would have been for you lads. >>132101345idk I feel like anyone who is still single is either a complete freak (except me haha) or will move to sydney at the drop of a hat
Looks the blog brothers are in Jesus Christ Mad how they can say so much without saying anything at all
which posts do you take issue with, none of them are overly long in my opinion
>>132101561ain't me and I'm supposed to be oneguess there is a blog trio
nought to do but blog on without any test cricket
I'm usually one of the bloggers but my brain is barely reading these posts since they are so dreadfully dull
Bard "I am humble lower-middle class but where the frig do people live except for Oxfordshire? Impossible" Man
the all me gimmick where he quotes every post that isn't one of his personas
Big game. IPL eliminator #2. GT v MG. Reward: finals
clash of the ghendias
memebashers are in, post quality expected to drop hard
stop liftian me balls bla x
>I guess if I moved back to a place like L*ndon then I would find other lonely sad sack overgrown manchildren in my situation but that's a bit of a grim prospectimagine unironically believing this grass greener on the other side pure 100% no added flavours COPEas per an article that came out a few days ago, donedon dominates the league:>The loneliest cities in the UK ranked:London and WestminsterLiverpool, RiversideBirmingham, LadywoodKensingtonLeeds CentralManchester CentralSheffield CentralBermondsey and Old SouthwarkIslington South and FinsburyHolborn and St Pancras
Hardik v BrohitRashid v ChawlaGill v KishanKilla Miller v Suryakumar YadavFor all the marbles
>>132101723To be honest it's not so much Oxfordshire per se as it is the prestige of the potential job compared with the sheer HORROR of the mundanity of plodding along in a middle-management job all my life and working towards the aspiration of one day being able to afford a 3-bed semi-detached house with a small gardenThe county itself is pleasant enough but unspectacular
>>132102859It's all relative desuResearch experts like me know that the surveys underpinning such articles are usually junk and hide lots of the nuance required to interrogate that research question properlyMoreover, not minded to trust authors who purport to write a list of cities but then include numerous L*ndon boroughs
why should I remain eternally curious about music when System Of A Down perfected it in September 2001?
aren't you an oxford reject? shant be taking your takes on research standards seriously tyvm
My uncle's PhD supervisor was Roger Penrose, a*glo shitters could never.
>>132102927when people say 'London and Westminster' they mean inner London (basically the ultra posho parts exclusively comprised of boarding school tarqs and money laundering overseas barons and their rich children)I do agree the article shouldn't refer to them as cities though. fair to say Donedoners can get a bit too pretentious at times
suppose you're just lucky bard is currently mentally mindbroken, in terms of his brain, and can't find the energy to look up the .edu archives to expose another family lie and have you take another mental health 8 month hiatus from /cric/. alas
>>132102979cripes, lots of retards out there with pens and typewriters
>VICTORIANS have been urged to check the safety of their garages, following the death of football commentator James Brayshaw's sister Sally in a freak accident.>Sally, 36, was crushed to death on Wednesday night by bricks falling from a garage wall at her Gerona Street, Keilor, home. As she closed the garage door, the bricks fell on her, and although her family tried to resuscitate her, she died shortly afterwards.tradies, not even once.https://www.theage.com.au/national/death-of-commentators-sister-highlights-garage-risks-20060922-ge36pm.html
>>132103110whoops, meant this for the chud general
You lads taken your medicals today? Time is of the essence, as it were
the blog brothers saved /cric/all certain man does is .. is.. uh- actually, I don't even know what his gimmick is anymore.
>>132103154In terms of Cricketing The invention of the boundary rope etc I am defender of purity, pre modernity etc
>>132102949Technically no, as I've never got as far as applyingGot told not to by my BITCH of a university advisor at college despite being predicted the (ludicrous) grades of A*A*A*A (wouldn't have got in as undergad though, she was probably right) Didn't get so far as doing the postdoc applicationWould have backed myself to get in for MSc or PhD though, particularly MSc (essentially a way for the uni to extract money from egotistical midwit mongs like me who demand the Oxbridge prestige on their CV) >>132102996I think Westminster is technically a city, as is the City of London and London itselfThe other boroughs aren't cities though - and several of the ones mentioned in their list are already within inner London
In a cruel twist of fate I'm now starting to see quite a few coppable houses in the Oxford area which could go for about ~£300kThe great house price crash is finally upon us thanks to the based cost of living crisis and rise in interest ratesSavers chads ascendant
mad how tarqs think a £300k house is cheap
you can afford it too and save £150k living in London!all you need to do is turn off the heating, read reddit threads... and get gifted around 100k from your parents
>>132103285Didn't say it was cheap now did I >>132103326Total amount gifted to me by my parents: 0 British pounds (zero British pounds) (nada) (nothing) (nowt) They were too busy getting divorced and pissing away my inheritance by selling the family homestead and buying new houses of their own
no I apologise, you called it "coppable" I simply chose not to repeat the word since it's utter nonsense
Watching the cricket
All of /cric/ a*glo shitters have been mentally disintegrated by the broken families jibe. Didn't realise it was such a touchy subject tbqh
>>132103507Coppable in this context means able to be copped by a young man with modest wealth like meI appreciate that it's still a barmy price for what you get and out of reach for many savingslets
"coppable" and "copped" aren't words
think they're yankisms
Me? I'm a humble norfman in my humble norfman house. wouldn't think of looking for properties in the 300k range, simply unobtainable for anyone who actually works for a living.
I copped a feel of your mums tits at the dinner table How is that not correct English?
because copped isn't a word
bard "I'm just doing a bit of 300k window shopping but I'm not a tarq ok?"
Mad how so many boomers live in houses worth £500-800k, despite the fact that they:1. Have never personally earned more than £40k (which should cap their mortgage at £180k) 2. Have a missus who either doesn't work or does some part-time bollocks (adding at most £80k to their mortgage allowance) 3. Have had long periods out of work, spend money wastefully, and retired earlyAnd yet they still have the cheek to pretend they worked hard for what they've got. Modern society is basically just a massive ponzi scheme for this current generation of boomers
>>132103234>(wouldn't have got in as undergad though, she was probably right)you get 5 applications (more if you pay a fee), seems irrational not to use one on Oxbridge with those grades
>>132103264price crash is barely materialising, houw prices went up last month actually, it's only inched down since the beginning of the yearit's placed like London and probably other expensive areas like Oxfordshire that are taking any sort of hit. Non-London city centres are still going strong, Bristol, Manchester, etc.It'll takle a while before people's fixed rates are up and suddenly they are paying out their arse
Humble Norfman that I am, all my uni applications were in the Norf, several were eve in Y*rkshire such was desire to not live in the souf
thumbing a phone quickly with my muscular fingers is apparently a typo magnet
>>132103662Nah I don’t agree with that You’re mistaken
>>132103777Yeah probably should have in retrospect, I applied for 5 unis which were more or less equally prestigious, which was a bit daftLet that stupid bint discourage me from applying though, can only think they like to put out stats like x% of our Oxbridge applicants were successful, so only encourage the ones who are more likely to be accepted>>132103818Yeah it's only very recently I've noticed a possible swing desu, and this is after literally years of above-inflation increases (one of the reasons my savings mental illness started desu) >>132103830York was my back up but I opted for Exetah instead
300k is about my budget too desu but I'd be leveraged to the hilt with >50% of take home going to mortgage. Postgraduate loan, student loan, 10% pension contribs and suddenly your take home pay isn't so great after tax. A deano couple each on half my salary would have significantly more net income
Quite looking forward to Pears vs Yorkshire this evening to unwind after toil but just remembered it'll be filmed on a potato as per the usual Pears A/V offering
>you now remember bard pretends exeter is a top uni and doesn't just barely scrape into RG
My uni changed it's name a few years after I left so I consider it not to exist anymore
The return of mortgages and pensions /cric/Been too long interrupted by roleplaying gimmicks
>pensionsStill don't really understand how mine works desuAny time somebody explains it to me I get so bored that I just zone outA snivelling little frugal runt like me should be all over that sort of thing, but my artistic soul rebels
the way I understand my pension. every month a portion of my paycheck pays into it and my employer matches it and when I eventually retire I will have fuck all because I don't earn a lot now
>>132104069Move to London, an exciting and vibrant modern city where you'll earn BIG money
what are they discussing?
talking about how they all love living in London
100k in the Motera Stadium, Gujarat (that is India) @*glo shitters could kever>>132104210Gold prices *rubs palms*
Academia is literally a conformity test I failed my a levels subconsciously on purpose I am literally the most intelligent person of all time
>>132104281The sad cope of a "school of hard knocks" "university of life" boomerbook user
debating a takeaway tonight, but in my heart I know I eat too many of them
Mumbai keeping it tight
>>132104069that's a defined contributions pension>>132104014if you're unable to understand a defined benefits pension you may just be a brainlet, they're probably even easier to understand than contributions-based ones
>>132104416Won't save up for a house deposit if you keep pissing away money like that desuPop down to Lidl, buy a big bag of rice for 49p, season it with ketchupWeek's worth of meals right there
No a*glo shitters in this match, but many QUADbros. Very telling
>>132104505already got a house, just don't need a 300k megastructure because I am huimble norfman
>>132104522Think how many flat caps and whippets you could own if you bought a nice big £300k house
300K in oxfordshire is just a basic starter house at best and a closet at worst
ok, so batters can technically hit forever if they never got out, right? just saw a cricket clip where a team needed x amount of runs with y amount of balls left. what's that about?
>>132104728limited overs cricket is called that for a reasonthe overs are limited
>>132104014desu it's amazing how many people in the NHS don't understand how their own scheme works, just parrot "it's the best pension scheme you can get" like drones. It's one of the better ones for sure but the civil service one is easily the best. Shame about their shit salaries though.
>>132104739ahhh, i see.
>>132104784>>132104739>>132104728why do you bother doing that
bother doing what? replying to the American? just being polite
>>132104697True in Oxford, can get a slightly confirr cottage-shaped closet ~5 miles away>>132104766Is that still true of the alpha scheme? Think my USS scheme while I was doing my PhD was pretty good desu, they tripled my contributions or something like that
Mumbai bowling been good so far
>>132104804to let you know i understand and appreciate your reply.
>>132104991Alpha is the best one.Any defined benefit scheme will shit on a contributions scheme in general (mainly because they don't exist in private sector anymore, they basically NEED to be underwritten by a government).Your contributions mean dick in a defined benefit scheme (like the alpha is). If they claim matching contribs like the NHS pension oddly does sometimes (also defined benefit) then they're just saying that for accounting purposes.Your contributions are basically a membership and disappear into the ether. With alpha you basically just generate 2.32% of your yearly gross income as pension income every year. So after 10 years you'll have 23.2% of your average income over that time available as pension income. It's also linked to inflation and all sorts so it does go up additionally.Anyway you basically get a fat income at retirement if you pay into a DB scheme your entire life. Not the same for a defined contributions scheme where the pension funds will fuck you just in case you live to be 110 (so your pot doesn't run out).
And the reason why alpha is good is because you only need to pay like 5.6% of gross into it for 2.32% accrual every year. NHS scheme is like 9-10% for 1.85%.And it's guaranteed until you die and obviously the government is more reliable than a private pension fund.
>>132104281this is just a sad copeyou probably think you're baiting this sort of response but you also probably reckon there's truth in what you posted. get it together lad
Shubman Gill. Remember the name.
>>132105361>>132105476Hmm sounds ok, still not as good as the pension civil service boomers got thoughWhat happens in a scheme like that if you leave the civil service after ~3 years due to a cruel and unusual decision re homeworking though?
Noticed an attractive woman walk past my window at the same time for the last 3 daysThis is notable because the average age on my street is about 98Wonder if she'll marry me
don't expect me to read a 4 paragrapher ever again
Holy shit Gill
GILL GILL MERA DILL DILL
future of team india looks bright
>>132105939Need the old guard Cuckli and Nohit being put out to pasture and get these nu-zoomers in
>>132105777Boomers got final salary defined benefit schemes, they worked the same way (probably less accrual if anything) but instead of it being % of your average income it was based on % of final salary instead, which would presumably be considerably larger.Well your entitlement just remains. You can claim it at retirement age so you'd get like 7% of your average salary at that time as guaranteed retirement income for the rest of your life. The NHS has a +1.5% per year modifier for every year you work in the NHS though which encourages you to keep working there... no idea about alpha. It is by far the best scheme though. You won't be getting full time office job pension income on a contributions-based pension unless you have super income. In general most people don't put enough into their pension and so have to rely on the state pension on top (which you're supposed to get even with your public sector pension), and pension credits.
Going to climb a hill and read Chuck Pahlaniuk in the sun until the Pears match startsMight take my shirt off, might not>>132106015Shall peruse this upon my return
Mera bap Gill smoking Green
>Going to climb a hill (you won't)>read Chuck Pahlaniuk(you won't)>take my shirt off(you won't)
>climb a hillyou mean walk on a slight slope lmao
hating t20s and being a test purist IS a personality trait and I'm tired of pretending it isn't
as a humble norfman I live in the past that your boomer relatives always describe and everywhere I walk is uphill
>we'll have a bowl mate>197-2
>>132106393survivor is a good'n
Hardik can't memeslog anymore should've put Miller or Rashid in
>Rohit and Ishan injured
Here we all are thenThe boys, the lads, the gentsLooks like they started the match one minute early any I missed a wicket already ffshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl67PXuQy3M
>>132106393Literally did all of these things so the joke is on youAchieved a temporary yet inevitably fleeting realignment of my chakras
Good crowd at Worcestershire desu, probably about 2,500 inApparently the cost of living crisis has not yet hit the good folk of Worcester and there's still people who will pay the dizzying fee of £25 (twenty five British pounds) per ticket for this pyjama cricket nonsenseGood weather helps
Went to retrieve my mug of tea and missed another wicket ffsThe message is clearThe Pears only do well if I don't watch
is the worcs iphone 4 stream broken? seems to just be a 15 min clip
>>132107534Stream's been down for the last 5-10 minutes, they're bloody uselessNeed to make a big-money transfer and bring in one of the A/V lads from literally any of the other counties, our boys are clearly incompetent
>>132107319>Worcestershiremore like worstershire lol
Let me watch the cricket Worcestershire you bloody bastard BITCH
>lad playing first class cricket for the first time>gets a wicket and a duck against irelandexpected
Can Green getting HARDIK'D
lads, we're actually in herehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4iaSKFj7H0proper cricket. none of this mickey mouse crap
D'Oliveira will be an IPL superstar in 2024
>>132107823>Ireland have fucked it against essex 2nd XI Bet >we still struggle against them at Lords.
more of a Bears man than a Pears man, me
So was Ed BarnardSo was Moeen AliHélas
>>132104014Bard "I have a PhD and I am surrounded by brainlet civil servants but I get filtered when those fellow civil servants describe to me my pension scheme"hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>132107829I retract this comment, he's getting baz'd to oblivion here
Bombay are winning this, aren't they?
They struggled against Northants the fact that yorks are shit doesn’t mean they’re going to win.
Tilak has given Mumbai Gujaratis a chance. It's def on if this lanky bastard gets going
yorkshirebros... we should be better than thisit's worstchester
Anything can happen with Worstershire but at this stage >we really should be winningDon't want to jinx it but it's always great to see Yorkshire lose
Suryakumar Yadav on fire
GONE JAL TEL LAGAVA YA LANKY BELLEND JOSH LITTLE HONOURARY GUJARATI /STRONGMIND/
bottlejob by Worcsshalln't be watching the second half but too many runs for a team like them
Interesting gimmick from ECBLike the idea not sure about the executionCould do something similar with the county matches and could be kinohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xTId2t8IUQ
not watching thatwtf is itlooks like gogglebox from the thumbnail
had a Friday Night Blast the last time I ordered a prawn dhansak desu
not sure about this commentary gimimck
It doesn't matter whatever funky way the a*glo shitters running ECB find to go bankrupt. IPL is where it's at now. Roy is the canary. Give it time your kids will be fighting in the playground over CSK vs GT
>>132108517Sorry, the spelling is difficult>>132108532Basically switching between the different matches that are on with those two lads talking about itThink the idea could work but not sure those are the guys to do it
so it's basically gogglebox but with just those 2 randos. grim
>>132108042No matter who wins, Bharat wins at the end of the day.
Erm Worstershire bros we may have got too cocky
MOHIT AGAINNAMASTE CELEBRATION
>rapidsyeah rapidly losing wickets again ahahahaha
Mohit 3 wickets power of namaste celebration
Mohit 4fer now removing Joe Pesci sorry i mean Piyush Chawla
>>132108716Give Lucknow 2 more seasons and they'll have one more trophy than RCB
>>132108716>every team in the IPL playoffs has a Gujarati /strongmind/>every team that didn't had a*glo shitters
I want to do a post about how Adam Hose will easily baz >us to victory but when I do that they have a habit of getting out quickly straight after so I won't post it
>>132108942This match was kino.
>>132108925>when you realise yurop's bleak economic future
bazball is irrelevant terminology in t20s you brainlethonestly the fans of that """"format"""" all have double digit IQ
MOHIT 5FER THE POWER OF NAMASTE
well i wasnt hurt much with that loss, Mumbai came far with that shitty handicapped bowling lineup. all i wish is that nigger dhoni doesnt win another ipl. Goodluck Gujrat
>mortgages and pensions /cric/ ends>schizo persona /cric/ beginswere mortgages and pensions the saviour all along?
>>132109111Yeh Mumbai missed Jazzy B and Jof. Why Dhoni hate tho? He's stikk the best leader
funny how good cricket starts after the ipl
Maternity leave is such a fucking scamWhy on earth should the consumer and/or taxpayer continue to pay the salaries of women who aren't doing any productive work
Reminder Cheteshwar Pujara is playing back to back WTC finals and a*glo shitters are for back to back wooden spoon champions
Abbott just tonned up from 34 ballsNot bad desuSurrey got to be favourites for the comp
>>132108719Everytime bard posts during a worcs innings they always lose wicket/s he always jinxs them, it was very apparent during the last match.
for it's The Cricket, but not *this* cricket
Think >we might have fucked it ladsWill be a close finish
literally imagine zachy sprinting from one end to the room to the other to talk to himself every time he makes a post
5 off the last 2 balls....
HITS HIS THIRD SIX OF THE OVER TO WIN ITlmao unlucky Yorkshire ladsWho would have thought our tailender number 9 would just baz his way to victory like that
Mad how Ireland are getting smashed by Essex
we've been getting too cocky this game and last bardhaterbros... still, it's only brainletbash
Currently reading and chuckling at the 86 (eighty-six) and counting comments of seething/suicidal Yorkshire fans replying to the tweet announcing the loss>>132110111Was the same in the last county game desuSnatched victory from the jaws of defeatThe Pears have soul, and that makes the difference in those situations
I’m going to the ashes in Leeds. Is the pub right next to headlingly a good lark
>>132075095>Essex vs Ireland tour matchredpill me on this
Just noticed that Somerset don't have any franchise meme nameThey're just SomersetVery soulful desu, might have to admit that they're more soulful than >us
>>132075579indians are very hypocriticalthey stole their country south of the ganges from the dravidians and complain to us about colonialism
>>132077538if he can stop inviting all his mates over from india>606,000 immigrants in 2022/3then I will gladly call him my pukka swahibthing is the tory party is dead now, until they split into labour lite and brexit party
>>132110279>until they split into labour lite and brexit partyproblem there is that both sides will still want to call themselves the Conservative party and they'll spend decades fighting over who gets to
mad how I'm the only smeedchad in rn
>>132110299>implying the UK has decades leftmiracle if we make it to 2030
>>132110335I'm here mate/ourguy/ the zoomer king has hit some good wallops but not quite set yet. just 10*(10)
>>132110356And gone now. grim
>>132110335>>132110356lmao smeedchads btfo
>>132110344extant UK or not, I'm staying here in my comfy seaside town till the sea takes me (or the power station blows up)
fr fr this is NOT bussin
Do Surrey not stream their home T20 matches? Looked like it might be an interesting chase there, although Kent have just lost their first wicket so it's probably all over now
>*be's 17 yo zoomer*>almost immediately retires from every format except t20>isn't actually that good at t20wdhmbt?
>>132110376good ladim staying in my home counties market town but will leave under various conditions involving demographics and taxes
>>132110429Nice Christian lad, good to see
Tom Banton is a playerLook forward to seeing him at Worcestershire when he leaves Somerset due to not getting any red-ball opportunitiesSame way we poached Adam HoseWe'll just become a bazball county, simple as
formerly not out
>>132110429seems like a good chap with a nice missus
>>132110429peaking too early can sometimes be a bad thing
>>132110429looks like an average twitch streamerwere we really this generic millennialbros?thinking about it, I do remember a phase where everyone had either emo hair or that weird gel spike thing at the front (can't find a good pic of it thoughever)
>>132110683ice those tips dude!the justin beiber/scene girl cut was big in around 2009
>>132110412Its ok sky so they aren't streaming. Sky did stream yesterdays middx v surrey game so you might want to check
>>132111194Ahh that'll explain it - yeah saw their Sky one yesterday through YouTube, so just assumed YouTube would have all of themBit rum that Sky choose to show two Surrey matches in two days desu, mix it up a bit you L*ndon-centric bastards
Ahh yes that'll explain it, thank you good sir! BIT RUM THAT. I really find your dull posts so interesting I post equally as dull posts in response haha
everyone is zachy poster losing his marbles a bit
shut up zachy though kek
>>132110279Reminder if you go to a muslim foodplace they spit in your food
Abbott (the Australian one) scored a rapid century against Kent apparentlyimagine if they still had Stevens bowling his little 50mph swingers
hows bristol? chuck us a review
Bristol is a shithole but since bard lives by stereotypes I'm sure he'll call it a nice place
>>132113858Why would I call it a nice place? I don't like Bristol
On the shitter lads. Gonna use extra toilet paper to avoid the dreaded "zachy wipe"
You will never trump my geniosityYou will never trump my being I am here because I am basedBard is there because he is RedditThe sooner you understand this the better
Call me Donald because I will trump you at anything
They call me the arsefucker
>>132116581why do they call you that mate?
>>132103110what she deserves for being related to the worst commentator in cricket history
One more match before IPL withdrawl begins.
IPL should have it's proverbial throat cut and be left to bleed out quickly
>>132116625The chad freedom loving car controllerThe cowardly rail servantLike my dad always says, trains and trams are just buses with no options
>>132116625Car = BardTrain = Jacob Rees-Mogg tearing up homeworking for civil servants
>>132119123Incredibly overpaid profession, the rail driver. Even when they hit one of their 3 buttons (stop) it doesn't really do much.
>>132116625Car = BardThe Other Side = The postdoc positionThe Car swerving past the barrier = Bard getting excited and looking at properties in Oxfordshire alreadyThe Train = Debbie the penpusher refusing to sign off
>>132119164And yet still far too complex for a certain man to wrap his pea brain around
the tragic story of zachy's train driver assessment day
Bristol is actually an alright placeEven the bouncers are sound There's a love that flows through itId rather live here than shiteon or donedon anyway
>>132119242Sooner the cows will come home than me failing any kind of verbal reasoning/iq test thingy or whatever
>>132117742bend over poof, he'll show you
>>132119566You poured your heart out mate, said you had passed the psychometric tests but you got railed on the group activity assessment dayMust have been too drunk to remember
>>1321196Medford then Bedford for you I reckon
>>132119616Mediterranean then Bediterranean for you
Sad state of alcoholismCan't even remember his late night ramblingDefinitely you mateSounded exactly like you
Never forget a thingMust have been some Reddit AI or something
>>132119837convenient excuse for your blackoutsis this magical voice AI in the room with you now?
>>132119880I know who you are Redditspacing newfagIf only we could get rid of you and bring alchy locks back
yeah? know who I am do you mate?
Currently in a Premier Inn in Bristol Thinking of reconnecting/reaching out to some old uni mates
GT v CSKHardik v Thala (Dhoni)Gill v GaikwadRashid v JadduFor all the marbles
Bristol is a shithole
Would rather live in Bristol than donedon
I could easily buy a three-bed semi in BristolIn some ways it would make a lot of sense to do so, as it's close to one of my officesNicely located city, lots of young people there so my social life would improveBut the thought of having to spend time with the insufferable left-wing runts who live there fills me with horror
Would rather live in Jamnagar wiv ma bredrin Jaddu
>>132120263three bed semi in bristol would probably put you back 400k+
Bard blogging on again Can't help himself can he
>lots of young people there so my social life would improve>he still thinks he's youngohnonono
Things I am not doing today-Playing golf Paintballing Quad biking Id be up for some like mini cricket with stumps in a park. 5 a sides
>>132120319Can get them for £300k in several parts of the city>>132120392Refuse to accept that I've aged since the covid pandemic, therefore I'm still a young 27
>>132120432Not a bad way of looking at it Been thinking about doing a Halle berry and just trimming two years off my age
>>132120432kek maybe south of the river in council estate or really far out on the outskirts
Think I just need six more months of living in L*ndon to get it out of my systemBit of hedonism, bit of drugs, bit of shagging loose upper-middle-class bints acquired from the grotty nightclubs of ClaphamThen I can accept that I'm middle-aged
Donedon is a shite place to live unless you literally own large segments of it Better off just going there for the weekend. Doing a bit of mdma in a converted old boys warehouse Don't see any reason to actually live in Donedon unless you were born there and it's all you know
shagging is against volcel etiquette
>>132120501kek yeah just checked >36 resultsgrim
>>132120570meanwhile increase to 500k>247 resultsAnd all the non council estate parts of the core of the city are all blank still as it's even more expensive
Thought that going there for a weekend every month or two would be enough, but it has key problemsYou're either paying for a hotel (looking at £120-150 bare minimum each time you want to go in, plus whatever the train fare costs), or reliant on staying on a mate's sofaThe latter makes it difficult to shag loose upper-middle class bints acquired from the grotty nightclubs of Clapham, because you need to stick with your mate and leave when they leave etc
>>132120501>>132120570Is Knowle a dump? Think that's where quite a lot of the cheaper but respectable-looking houses tended to be when I've perused Bristol properties before
name 3 well known people from bristol who aren't cricketers or musicians (you can't without looking it up). it doesn't unlock people's potential like donedon does
>>132120633It's a council estateAnywhere south of the river is usually seen as lesser
I will never move to DonedonIm gladFeelsgoodmanWe be loving it
what's the plan for day 2 of the stag then zachy? you on the sherberts already? you on the bongo later on lad? x
...yhI don't touch bongo because I'm not a deano on the south coast nor my pet rock in Minecraft ten years ago travelling through south America
I exude power.
>>132106015Perused this but not sure I fully comprehendWhere does the 7% of average salary come from? Is the implication that I'd have to work for 42 long and miserable years in order to be entitled to the full 100% of average salary upon retirement?Might as well put a bullet through my skull now if that's the case
oh no, not the blog brothers again
The image thst mentally disintegrated /cric/'s a*glo shitters
>be's zachy>kills /cric/ with a shit persona gimmickmany such cases!
>>1321211092.32% a year And that's far more generous than you get from a contributions based pensionYou don't pay national insurance on pensionsand you also get the state pension on top.. currently
They're also linked to CPI too which goes up faster than wages at the moment so you get more money that way
>sidekick a*glo shitter so mentally disintegrated he has to fabricate an everyone is the brighton bum bandit as a cope
>>132121515>>132121575What does it mean for it to be linked to CPI?That I'd start off with a sum (x, the percentage of my average salary) in year 1 of drawing the pension, and that in subsequent years x would increase in line with CPI?
/cric/ - work and pensions
Business idea: move /cric/ to /biz/ during the IPL drought
Good to see the beeb are headlining the most serious story in that picture
The counter offensiveTwo more weeks
hitting the guy on the balls was a good move from ireland, finally using some brain
Zachy has a poster of a topless Putin opposite his bed
That poster probably looks like a horror movie when the forensics put their CSI semen torch on it following his arrest
Big fan of zachys alter egos And I’m not just saying this as one of them
ireland batting quite decently now
I'm fundamentally anti war Nothing else
I'm fundamentally anti bazballNothing else
might go bristol and start throwing haymakersheem anybody big-foreheaded people i see
>zachy leaves /cric/ to return to his stag do>britjeet stops posting>numerous personas from non-brit flags stop postinghmmmm, doing a bit of a notice on this one