Today's schedule (GMT):>10amDavid Gilbert vs. Kurt MaflinStuart Bingham vs. Ashley Carty (5-4)>2:30pmJohn Higgins vs. Matthew StevensDing Junhui vs. Mark King (5-4)>7pmMark Williams vs. Alan McManus (4-5)
first for Dunder Maflin
Saturday 1 AugustMorning session – 10amDavid Gilbert vs Kurt MaflinStuart Bingham vs Ashley CartyAfternoon session – 2.30pmJohn Higgins vs Matthew StevensDing Junhui vs Mark KingEvening session – 7pmKyren Wilson vs Anthony HamiltonMark Williams vs Alan McManusSunday 2 AugustMorning session – 10amYan Bingtao vs Elliott SlessorNeil Robertson vs Liang WenboAfternoon session – 2.30pmJohn Higgins vs Matthew StevensRonnie O’Sullivan vszzzzzz Thepchaiya Un-NoohEvening session – 7pmNeil Robertson vs Liang WenboDavid Gilbert vs Kurt MaflinMonday 3 AugustMorning session – 10amJack Lisowski vs Anthony McGillRonnie O’Sullivan vs Thepchaiya Un-NoohAfternoon session – 2.30pmYan Bingtao vs Elliott SlessorShaun Murphy vs Noppon SaengkhamEvening session – 7pmJack Lisowski vs Anthony McGillMark Selby vs Jordan BrownTuesday 4 AugustMorning session – 10amMark Allen vs Jamie ClarkeShaun Murphy vs Noppon SaengkhamAfternoon session – 2.30pmStephen Maguire vs Martin GouldMark Selby vs Jordan BrownEvening session – 7pmMark Allen vs Jamie ClarkeBarry Hawkins vs Alexander UrsenbacherWednesday 5 AugustAfternoon session – 1pmBarry Hawkins vs Alexander UrsenbacherEvening session – 7pmStephen Maguire vs Martin GouldSecond Round 5-9 AugustQuarter-finals 10-11 AugustSemi-finals 12-14 AugustFinal 15-16 AugustBBC coverage is split over BBC Two, the Red Button, BBC Four and it is available on the BBC website and iPlayer.
Who will win this year and why is it Angles?
>>101142563Idk, I just hope for Bingtao to make a decent run
>>101142925love Bingtao, my little dictator war criminal looking mf
FUCK jannies and FUCK anthony hamilton the absolute nigger
>>101142563Jordan Brown will beat Jamie Clarke to be crowned world champion
>african life documentary on the bbc before snookerloicense money being put to good use i see
>>101142563It's Blorkin's year
>>101142563i wan the swiss to win
>>101142341>first for Dunder MaflinWe made fun of Maflin when we were juniors because there was an article about him in Pot Black magazine painting him as the new prodigy because he'd had a 1000 centuries, except it turned out if you read the article that most of them were from doing a practice routine called the line up. We knew he must be talented and probably a nice kid, but the article was still ludicrous. He didn't really play in the regular comps that most aspiring juniors competed in so he was a bit of a mystery - based on that article I kinda feared him!
Please save us, Selby.
Come on Ash, you can be the very best
>volcanic ashis there a worse nickname?
GWAN GILBERTOGWAN BING
bring your paint skills out, we need to fill the crucible with crowd
>>101143818How did you already paint my gf
C E N T U R Y from /ourboy/
come on carty you penarse I need you to win one more frame for me ill advised parlay
>banking on farty
Bingham can suck my cock, I hope he loses
>>101144389Yo where is Desi? Huh?
>>101144571in my bed, she also hates the fat fuck b*ngham is
>>101144630Just shave it and grow a beard bro
fuck sake carty you speccy gityou better get inspired by your yugioh game or magic the gathering or whatever noncery you're up to nad come back with a vengeance after the interval
>>101144843where is selby's bottom?
>>101144882Busy bending spacetime
did I mention how much I love carty? he's the best I think he's very cool and not a knob whatsoever
nice to see are Hazel there
>>101144656b-but tabletop games are based r-right
I've said it before, but Bing's games are always entertaining.For better or worse if you also cheer him on.
bingham sucks and has no talent whatsoever
>>101145561>>101145562who do I believe??
>>101145587I don't think our statements are mutually exclusive.Win or lose, Bing always does it in extraordinary fashion. Be it good or bad play.
Oh boy, these lads can't stop bottling it.
haha ok carty you won your frame my bets come in y-you can stop now haha
Carty looks exactly like Peter O'Hanraha-Hanrahan, for those of you who enjoyed The Day Today.
>>101145776Ich nichten lichten
Keep going Carty, assblast that fat fuck
Wilson Fisk's feet are so fat they deform the shoes he's wearing.
>ynr last year Stuart Bingham led Graeme Dott 9-0 just to win the match in decider
Bingham = fat fraud choker
>>101145776top kek you're right
Carty keeps setting up hard chances for Bing to destroy his confidence. 4D chess.
>>101145999Or Higgins got money on the outcome.
>>1011459458-1 if I recall correctly.then 9-4.
>>101146055that's correct my bad
I miss bosniabro, wonder what happened to him.
>>101146098Got married and is living a great life.t. knower
Gilberto needs our energy
it's over for the mild-mannered reporter and part-time snooker player.
>>101146135gilbo's a bottling bastardshan't be rooting for him
>>101146160true, he always disappoints.and he's always there as cannon fodder for a player I don't like to win trophies.
Did Trump end up getting his 100th of the season yesterday? Couldn't catch the last couple of frames.
>>101146317Yeah, he did.
>>101143744>Trashley Carty>Gashley Carty>Slashley Carty>Dicksplashley Carty>Ashley Farty>Ashley Sharty>Assley Carty>Chinese Communist Party CartyNo, you're right. "Volcanic Ash" is still the worst.
>>101146378To be fair, "Ashley Carty" is still worse than "Volcanic Ash".
>>101145776I didn't like when it was on. But I'll have to go along with it.
>>101146406He should marry Ashleigh Barty and take a double-barreled name.
>>101146437The wedding reception would be fantastic. Everyone loves a Barty-Carty party.
>8 reds>8 blacks
>>101146485If only people could stop gassing up the place.
>>101146553Their son's name would be Artie.
>>101146598and his hero would be Moriarty.
At what Bing is Ding playing again?
>>101146835Ding is playing King in 42 minutes.
>Eurosport Germany is showing some recording of cycling
Friendly reminder this general is a Matthew Stevens and Dominic Dale general.
>>101147982British Yurosport too apparently. Only able to find Eastern Yuropean stream
>ma-chew Stevens Not sure I can be arsed with Ken commentating on this
ding's twitching again...
Fucks sake, Ding
>Used to watch snooker all the time like 10 years ago.>Completely fall out of the habit>Happen to see WC on TV. The same exact players are playing.>They all look about 70 years old.McManus, Stevens, Robertson, Murphy, Higgins, Williams, O Sullivan, Selby. Even Hamilton, who was always shit. When did Snooker stop getting young players in?
why must Ding always choke
>>101148234combination of snooker halls dying out and zoomers being cancer
Higgins will win this frame
>>101148234you ask a question that's tough to answer.Maybe the generation after O'Sullivan just aren't interested in Snooker, due to technology/online gaming etcMaybe sport science is extending the success of athletes including snooker players, no longer are the days of having a vodka coke on the table and a cig in the hand, now the top players are tryhardsOr maybe, O'Sullivan etc are very very very talented snookers.But 2bh a snooker player doesn't really reach anywhere near his prime till his early 30s usually.It's a tough question.
GWAN STEVENS MY SON
>One more run at the strap
>>101148489would love if he commentated as he played
>>101148489Is there a name for this phenomenon?
YOUR HENDRY'S, YOUR O'SULLIVAN'S, YOUR SELBY'S
C E N T U R YENTURYgwan ding
imagine actually watching Ding over Stevens/Rigginshave sex
>>101148636>tfw after this year it will be "YOUR TRUMP'S"
tired of this tripfag lads
>>101148737Oh is he here? Just filter and move on.
>tfw Willie is chalking it in heaven rite now
Watching these old men play for the WC with no practice reminding me of this...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37JAQIiUEOE
Ding really only have two yikes tier defeats in the Crucible. Ryan day in 2012 and Michael Wasley in 2014.
>>101149726Seems like every year he either goes out to a Ryan Day-tier jobber or loses a close game to Rpmmie or Lelby
>>101149726>Michael WasleyOh yeah, that dude completely disappeared. Ding should have a title or two by now, though.
>>101149780>Ding should have a title or two by now, though.
Ding losses in the crucible2007 R1 vs Ronnie2008 R2 vs Hendry2009 R2 vs Hendry2010 R2 vs Shaun Murphy2011 SF vs Trump2012 R1 vs Ryan Day2013 QF vs Hawkins2014 R1 vs Wasley2015 QF vs Trump2016 F vs Selby2017 SF vs Selby2018 SF vs Hawkins2019 R2 vs Trump
>>101149857Based Selby. New Parks 4 lyfe
It's so hot, bros.
P L A N T
>Eurosport suddenly switching over to /cyc/ling againffs
>eurosport player deadkurwaaaa
http://zb.zb001.com/zbtv.php?id=10042only working stream I found, if anyone has any please share.Is snukersarm going to stream again btw
>>101150704All twitch streams are getting banned, so probably not.
>ding's taken two frames in successionbloody hell, steady on la
>>101150704cricfree is down, usagoals injects scripts into your browser, and twitch is banning snooker.Is there a zb link for the Riggins match?
>>101150919Never mind, I just changed the ID to 10041 and it worked.
>top of the apexare these commentators retarded?
>>101150919Since you're American, matchroom should work for you.
>>101150580try polack eurosport
Who's commentating with Parrott, he has a smooth voice, he should do the shipping forecast
>>101151194Is it free though?
>>101151908You have to register I think but no $$$
easyview still working for me.
I am doing a 2020 bingo cardany suggestions?
>>101152657Mark Williams gets a ridiculus fluke
>>101152657>that would have brought the house down if there was an audience
>>101152657>Shaun Moiphy fighting of an attack of demonic possession
>>101152657just rename the 2017 bingo card to 2020 and you're done
>>101152657ding being a mental midget (already happening)at least one qualifier in the semislelby completely zesterizes a poor soul only to job in the next round
>>101152657Someone gets infected with Covid and dies
>>101153269A shit leopard never changes its spots.
D E C I D E RECIDER
>>101153466fucking idiot, match should have been over an hour ago
I believe in you, Ding. You can do it.
>>101153641>activates chink power
NO NO NO WHY WON'T THIS JOBBER JUST LET MY DINGERINO WIN
>>101153790I know. Real selfish of him.
I never doubted Ding
>Ding is a mental midgetLiterally fake news
Ding STAYS winning
Did Ding just say >innit
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING >>101154079So cute :3
here it is so far, will finish it after dinner
>>101154207Ronnie loses the first round and joins commentartors for the rest of the tournament
>>101154207Great job so far, it's pretty different
>>101154207Maguire smacks the table with his cue
>>101154207Looks good. Must be hard to come up with plausible but not too likely scenarios.
>>101154207>Davis and Taylor replaying the 85' final because a match ended early
Good match. Mark laying some nice snookers, and McManus escaping well.Why has Mark worn only the blue outfit for 3 years in a row?
>>101156703kek, was wondering the same...he's been wearing it since he won the wsc in 2018probably thinks it brings him luck
Willo might actually give a fuck
>>101148312I love Twin Peaks. I bought myself the massive Blu-Ray box set and watched the whole thing recently. I'd never seen the new series before (it's not as good), but the original holds up brilliantly.
Didnt know this was even on. Whos commentating mcanus game?
I don't see McManus losing
I don't see McManus winning
>>101157153>I'd never seen the new series before (it's not as good), but the original holds up brilliantly.The recent series is one of the most enjoyable TV experiences I've had for a while.
>>101157299Rob Walker and Joe Perry
>>101157493Ah the gentleman
>>101154207>Commentators reminisce about something pre-1980>Player goes for a rejected handshake then has to style it out>A player misses a shot that /147/ could have made
Wtf is McManus doing. Is that simply losing a head under pressure?
>>101157415I really hated how Dale Cooper comes back with the brain of a literal baby, like he's had a stroke or something, and absolutely nobody notices. That ruined it for me. The mad-shit nuclear bomb episode was good, though.
how are these professional players?thinking i may win the next World Championship lads
>>101157803You need a tour card to be accepted into the tournament. Barry Hearn always needs a favour from a young player with a purty supple mouth, if you really want a tour card.
what the fuck did I just witness?Does Bazza have McAnus' kids o0r something?
>>101157528Worst nickname ever. He's always moving his feet when his opponent is down on a shot. Doesn't even understand pic related's joke.
>>101154207"You never truly settle till you get your first frame on the board."
>>101157995Gentlemen are usually passive aggressive fucks, so it checks out
Finally found a decent quality 60 fps stream. Fuck you bongs and your fucking regionblocks.
>>101157493fucking Joe Perry making all these annoying noises is making me nuts
>>101158116God knows I hate the Chinks, but their zhibo stream is amazing. No commentary, but that's alright.
what the fuck is happening
most blatant rigging I've ever seenthese shots would make riggo blush
>>101158245The virgin Scot vs the Chad Welshman
genuinely think an inquiry is in orderthe shots he's playing don't even make sense
>The combined age of Williams, McManus and Verhass is 147Noice
More like McANUS
this is a joke now
>>101158480>the combined age of Desislava Bozhilova, Proletina Velichkova, Monika Sułkowska, Tatiana Woolaston and me is 147
>The combined age of Alan McManus is 49
>the combined age of all 1743 pornographic actors found in Martin Gould's folder is 22585.794
>the combined age of my wife is 14
wonder how much they paid the sad arse jock bastardshameful display
I miss Hazel
McManus is just old and shit
>>101159080Its 53rd in the world vs 3rd tbf, Angles played well above his level in the first session and is now regressing to the mean
>>101159169>hits ''''''safety'''''' shot into the pink 5x too hard smashing open the pack with nowhere to go and leaving a red onsenior moment I suppose
>>101159210Fuck off if you think Williams deserves 3rd in the world based off of skill. McManus might unironically be better, except he's a jobber.
>>101159169not to mention this is right after somehow managing to hit a red to the corner with the black completely unhampered sitting there so hard the cue ball comes off a cushion into no mans land in the middle of the table for no reason whatsoever
>>101158959>>101158969>>101159388>Old Martin Gould, the cops he fooled...
>>10115931725th vs 73rd if you want to go by Elo, its still about 50 places between the two. Williams had an 85% chance of winning.
why are these two commentating wtf give me dennis taylor on zoom
>>101159573>hadIsn't this live? It's still only 8-5 on BBC Four. Anal McAnus can still pull it back!
>>101159832I meant those were his prematch chances
>>101159884Hurray! Although he is getting roundly buggered in this match.
>coming in leading and losing 6 frames on the trot to bust out of thew worlds in the first round time to retire
Everything's coming up Angles again! Barry must have swapped the magnets round.
>>101160448Fuck's sake. Never mind.
what a useless twat
smash open the pack and then take on a very hard pot with no safety in mind next shotinspired
just concede mcanus
Angles is truly the master tactician of the game
>muh proud scotsman muh tenacious competitorfuck off Rob
fuck mcanus I hope he tops himself tonightsad git
>get home>it's already overWhat the fuck, bros>>101157153>it's not as goodWhat le fug>>101157415Based and redpilled
how much will rpmmie pump /ourguy/ theppy for tomorrow?
love laying beside my adoring wife Desi in bed every night
>>101164910Same>>101175008New thread or stay here?
Just stay here.
Today's schedule:>10amNeil Robertson vs. Liang WenboYan Bingtao vs. Elliot Slessor>2:30pmJohn Higgins vs. Matthew Stevens (6-3)Ronnie O'Sullivan vs. Thepchaiya Un-Nooh>7pmNeil Robertson vs. Liang WenboDavid Gilbert vs. Kurt Maflin (4-5)>>101176236Fine with me.
Not interested this year. The whole thing is an abomination tbqh>August not comfy April/Bank Holiday>No crowd>No GO ON RONNIE>No Hazel>No JV>Willie Thorne deadA pathetic facsimile of what the championship should be.
>>101176545I haven't been able to get a BBC stream yet - why is there no Hazel or JV?
>>101153269BASED LEOPARD SELBY
>>101176590JV stuck in Spain due to corona. Dunno where hazel is but Jason is fronting things this year
>>101176601That absolutely sucks. Maybe Hazel will be back for the later rounds.
Lisowski this year for me, need that little prick to do something to make me feel like young players are still coming up.>tfw Hendry was a 6 time champion by 28.
I don't even know who to root for
whos commentating on the bingtao slesser match with steve?
>>101177304You're going to root for our autist and you'll like it.
the fakeplause are hillarious
Robo's on form.
Stream for everyone, because fuck BBC. Start it in vlc or mpv.http://iptv1.privateiptv.club:80/random-robbie/random-robbie/814
>>101177374what is your problem with literally every single commentator?
>>101177598i only hate joe perry atm, i was just curious who he was
>>101177538Quality shit, is that yours?
>>101177538Absolutely fucking based!>>101177304Did David Lynch direct this?
>>101177649No, I just know how to use google.
Jesus Christ what a shitshow.
>>101177840hes improving, this time he didnt miscue
They have virtual applause for the players?
>>101177920inb4 virtual GWANs this afternoon
>>101177397It misses that ol' sitcom canned laughther whenever a fluke happens.>>101177840>that audible disgust made in polish eurosport
>>101145398Someone got the full picture of the qt sitting next to POWERZONE guy?
>>101177935>inb4 a virtual Dennis after he dies. with about 1 hour of recorded material you could have all the Dennis Taylor you need to keep him "alive" in the commentary box.
>player misses a shot thick by half a foot>dennis: deary me that was a HORRENDOUS kick he had thereEvery fucking time
This whole frame has been cringe.
>Robbo>>101177990Suprised they haven't done that with Virgo
This frame is so weird
>>101178224It's scary how accurate this is. He really is a broken record.
>>101178224yup, both of those are basically just a collection of catchphrases. if both of them died and it wasn't on the news, nobody would notice the change.
Just fucking end the frame already.
>robbo's last 10 shots
>>101178385>tfw too smart to win
>>101178385>when they don't have wew water
This frame does not deserve any fucking virtual applause.
Hahaha what the fucking fuck? Have they actually piped in crowd noises?
What a shitshowAnd Robo started off so good.
>>101178437it seems like it's only available for the end of frames.there was a brilliant snooker laid by robbo earlier and zero applause.
>>101178437Thank you Bazza
>>101178428Fucking hell Niel I know there aren't many barbers open but shave your head you look like Myra Hindley
>>101178475>>101178480Fucking hell, extroverts are so fragile. For a few months they are presented with an opportunity for comfy serenity yet they literally can't cope with the horror of having some individual responsibility for their emotional security. And because they're so loud and obnoxious, the broadcasters had to cater for them instead of letting the world be a little quieter for a short while. I genuinely detest extroverts.
have the earlier rounds (before the Crucible) always counted when it comes to the highest break of the championship? it seems a bit unfair, the pressure is hardly the same (although this year could be an exception, as there's no crowd in Sheffield).
>>101178572granted, but I think it has more to do with the "entertainment" side of the game Hearn is obsessed with.
fuck this gay shit where's desi
>>101178619One the other table, bending over.
>>101178475end of frames and centuries apparently.
God, the canned clapping sounds so bad. Like they played it off a phone into a kitchen roll tube and recorded it.
>Murphy in the background in full suit. christ, what a dork.
>>101178678He's definitely gunning for some sort of high up position because he licks Barry's hole at every opportunity.
Will this be the year chinks will finally win the championship?
>>101178605"Entertainment" is what sells because it caters for the plebby casuals who won't enjoy anything unless they think other people are also enjoying it. Heaven forfend they make use of their free will. It's also the same thing that made darts completely unwatchable these days where it's more about getting pissed and regurgitating cringy chants ad nauseum instead of just letting good darts players play darts.
Who's this fucking little knobhead? Never seen him before.
>>101178745that's Belgium's #1, Luca Brecel
Where the fuck is Hazel?
>>101178733I like it when they chant "Boring Boring Tables"I also like it when they chant "Stand Up If You Love The Darts"I especially like that "Yaya Kolo" chant of theirs.And "Stand Up If You Love The Darts" definitely deserves a mention.When they sing "Heyyyyyy, heyyyy baby... Oooh, aaah... I wanna knowwwww... If you'll be my girl", I have to admit I have welled up a few times.And now you mention it, that "Yaya Kolo" chant truly is different classI also truly don't hear that "Boring Boring Tables" chant often enoughBut my favourite would probably have to be "Stand Up If You Love The Darts"
>>101178733true, but even in the case of darts the seeds of what you're describing were already there in the 80's. all those drunkards playing and watching the games back then became a more than willing and pavlovian flock for the current "entertainment" model.
>>101178733what I mean is that it's more of a natural progression rather than a contrast between a time where the game was pure and all about the sport and a new era where it's all about the entertainment. when I look at the boomers watching darts now and chanting they're basically the people who were watching Eric Bristow back then.
>ywn watch footie with Neyul
Joe Perry is pretty fat
How many edl rallies do you think this man has attended?
>>101178875he always looks a bit edgy. top 3 for me in snooker player most likely to snap and go on a murdering rampage.
What’s with the tinny clapping.Making me want to mute the TV
>>101178906Nah, he's more a collection of body parts in the basement kind of guy
Slessor getting BINGTAO'D
>>101178861What the fuck is Rob Walker doing in ausland?
>>101178906>top 3 for me in snooker player most likely to snap and go on a murdering rampage.Whomst are the others?>>101178924kek
>>101178894better question would be "is he still EDL or did he move on with OH TOMMEH TOMMEH to rampant zionism?"
>>101178919I think you might be right.murdering rampage is too extroverted for The Gentleman.
>>101178921Bingtao gotta be an Uighur
>>101178929>Whomst are the others?Doherty, especially in the early years, looked like someone who could kill you just to taste your blood. but that's admittedly not a murdering rampage. I could imagine Quinten Hann going a bit mad and claiming a few lives in the process. Tony Drago would probably be responsible for a crime of passion.
>>101179025Ive always thought Doherty looks like a ventriloquist puppet, even the way he laughs and opens his mouth is the same.
Half Life 3 confirmed
>>101179109>hammer & sickle>>101179025lel. Imagine Doherty's laugh as he slices up bodies.
>>101179102good point.I started watching snooker in the 90's and he looked scary back then.pale and with scar, ugh. only when I got to know his personality did that image of the vampire start to vanish.
>>101178861>Neil will never invite you to his house to show you his collection of Warhammer sets and figures, and then teach you how to playno point to live
>>101178745What's up with the names on the screen behind him? That guy is either Elliot Slessor or Manle BHNOST2AOS
>>101179183There's a plexiglass between the halves of the screen, so the other half gets mirrored from this angle.
>>101179183Thats the reflection off the screen inbetween them
>>101179204>>101179208Oh yeah! I see it now. Thank you. Damn treacherous glass, making me look silly.
Is this the final frame for this session?
comfy /147/.I missed this. thanks guise.
>>101179244No (9 frames in the first session, iirc)
World snooker twitter have created a poll for keeping/removing the crowd noise https://mobile.twitter.com/WeAreWST/status/1289861300860760064Yes is winning
>>101179297They just need to add more variety to the noises. Have some coughs and GWAN RONNIEs mixed in with the clapping.
>>101179281who's the woman with the teddy bears?I've been away too long.
>>101179297NOT YOUR PERSONAL ARMY FAGG-Oh God they just played someIt's horrendousKill it now
>>101179297do players hear those or is it only for tv?
>>101179354Pretty sure they're coming from the loudspeakers in the arena.
>>101179354I assume the players hear it too, because it happened at a random moment in this match just now, implying that they were clapping something on the other table.
>>101179354>>101179364christ, it's so bad.players are probably cringing.
>>101179322Just some random bint
Q BALL WHERE YA GOIN M8???
>>101179379look at the size of that bear, how is that not an extra ticket.
>>101179379yeah i have put her just to start, feel free to cover with anything else more wc related
Imagine having the family name McmAnus and naming your son Alan.
>>101178703>Chinese player wins snooker world championship>War is declared with China>All Chinese players are banned from snooker>They claim that since they have the world champion, they should have the world championship>There are now two snooker world championships>Very comfy nuclear apocalypse ensues
>>101179428she deserves her place I think
>>101179281Where is cov city man?
>>101179483Seeing how much money chinks put into this sport, it would only be fair to have them host the championship every now and then.
What the fuck is that sound?
Yan is a big guyhow do I achieve that natty physique?
LOL THE FUCKING CLAPPING MACHINE GLITCHED OUT
>>101179576They should judt have a laugh track, I'm sure the BBC has tons of that in their archive.
MAKE IT STOP
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ IS BACK
I hope there is a sound engineer making the clapping noises, and I hope he's listening to the commentary.>Shot goes in>Silence>"That was a great shot">Sound engineer hammers all the applause buttons at once
>>101179631>Lads thirsty for Desi, Seema or Selbyliterally me
>>101179650Does this count as bad, yet amusing photoshop?
>>101179690The shop has to be new, this is just a commonly reposted picture, so it doesn't count.
>>101179631>canned "gwan Ronnie" sound fxThings I didn't know I needed in my life.
>>101179650I hope desi referees the final.
I need a stream lads. Help a brother out
>>101178782I thought this looked familiar and it turned out I wrote the embryonic version of this in January 2016. It then evolved to include the Yaya Kolo shit. I wonder how many times we've made a throwaway comment and forgot about it only to find out years later that it was saved in someone's copypasta folder?
>>101179723Marcel has the final
>>101179733You never know these days. One misplaced cough and things could change.
>>101178782>>101179730Also, I laughed out loud when I saw Austriabro post it. Does that count as laughing at my own material if I forgot I wrote it?
>>101179733Oh no no no>>101179726>>101177538
>>101179780Is it possible to fuck somebody so hard that they actually die?
>>101177304Just another lovely afternoon in the pub.
It's the rape of Nanking all over again.
>>101179780Selbys arse is better
>McManus with one collar out and the other tucked inthe absolute state
Will any of the qualifiers win this year? Most of them play snooker part time and probably got little practice in during lockdown compared to the top 16 autists
>>101179730About 17 years ago, I shopped a picture of a dude hitting himself with a fail caption to use as a 404 for my ftp server, so if someone hotlinked my shit, it would come up with this dude. It had like 50MB of space, and I never used it in any popular space or something. Mostly just for hosting reaction pictures to link IRC in a proto 4chan kind of way and shit like that. Last time I stumpled upon the picture online was 4 years ago.
>>101178224"Where's the cue ball going" should be a free square tbqhwyf
>>101179851proof he doesn't master all angles.
>>101179690>>101179707We've got the /147/ crowd pictures for that one anyway.
>>101179908John Virgo's not commentating on this tournament, though.
are gooks good at snooker?
>>101180029Too busy playing video games.
>>101180029No, they're too short. Chinks have the numbers on their side, so they every once in a while produce some decent ones.
>>101179878I was looking at buying houses, and there's a house for sale near my work which has an entire room with a full-size snooker table in it. I wondered if it belonged to a snooker player I might have heard of.
C E N T U R Y
the Beeb are such rpmmiecucks
lol at the awful suburban nightclub music. pleb beebs.
>>101180283Elliot Slessor has the facial expression of a man about to be executed by bow and arrow.
>>101180329I would personally enjoy gently placing an apple on his shaved skull.
>>101180329kind of like Kingdome Come npc which would be fitting to this>>101180365
>>101180070I bet it's haunted by the ghost of Peter Ebdon.
Would be pretty funny if this cunt didn't manage to win a single frame.
the applause is pathetic, you can hardly hear it.
It sounds like someone has set their ringtone to sounds of applause and they've just got a text message. It would probably be better if they adopted it fully, but it's still largely unnecessary.
>>101180329He looks like someone who was born yesterday but then artificially aged into adulthood.
>>101180504I firmly believe that his ghost will go back to the old ponytail.
>>101180504A ghost AND a clown?!?!? That would be double-scary!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz6ABu1tUnQ
>eat meat>Ebdon ghost starts yelling again
>>101180886>how come these fucking chinks can participate after brexit? I should get a bye into the next round!
>>101180794For me, it's his second single: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBAkCyKu6Qs
>>101180794>I am a clown!? It's your picture on the front!>Go ahead, /147/, laugh at me.
Why do people hate Elliot Slessor so much? Is it just because he's weird-looking, or does he have some wild personal controversy?
>>101181146I honestly don't think he's looking too weird.They sure didn't chose a flattering picture of him though, making a grimace and all.Shame he haven't performed but I hope it's a valuable experience for him.
>all this BBC hype for rpmmie again>inb4 he fails in the first rounds again
>>101181592yeah, I think they do him a huge disservice by singling him out every time.it's been 7 year since he won this.
>>101181489I looked him up on Twitter to see if he's a madman like Ali Carter or Peter Ebdon. He doesn't seem too awful, but he can't spell for shit.
Imagine having lightshows, announcers and intro music in front of no audience.
What time is it? Gwan o'clock
>>101181685Unfortunately the norm these days.
What did the Thai snooker player say when he saw he’d drawn Ronnie O’Sullivan?Un-noooooooooooooh!
>>101181790One guy yesterday came out waving to all the empty seats. I thought that was pretty funny.
>moustache goneGWAN THEPCHAIYA
Ronnie's gonna send that ladyboy back to whatever shithole country she came from.
has anyone got any streams for the ronnie - un-nooh game?
>>101180283>>101180329It... It's you! THE HERO OF KVATCH! This is truly an honour!
Who here /WelshDragon/ today?
I'm smelling a century.
>>101182115Really hope he wins
ronnie making fun of the fake applause.brilliant.
Ronnie's so fucking high he thinks he's hearing things.
>Reports coming in of police being called out to the crucible theatre to deal with a tip-off from a concerned member of the public over a middle-aged man seen outside yelling into an external air vent with a megaphone. Eye witnesses believe faint echoes of GWAN RONNIE could be heard echoing through the internal air conditioning system of the world famous snooker venue in the first time it has been played behind closed doors without an audience.
>recorded applausei'm dead
>>101182218He had a good run in the Uks as well, hoping he hits some form.
The applause sounds like someone's mixer.
>>101182303He's already massively improved. Or rather, he got out of his years long slump. It would be nice if he got far in the Crucible, anyway.
The applause is getting worse and worse.
GWAN RONNAYFINISH HIMHES A FAKIN MUG
this is what I mean.these dweebs at the beebs only care about meme records like "the fastest session at the crucible".who cares about that?and they're always anticipating it "this could be..." like everyone is so enticed about it.
Ronnie has already broken his opponent's spirit. The match has been settled.
ONE REDONE BLACKBINGO
CAM ON RONNIEPOT SAM FAKIN BALLS
147I WAS HERE
LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GOOK DOING
>>101182480Yeah. Nobody was talking about former World Champion Stuart Bingham getting a 147 yesterday when he had 10 reds and 10 blacks, but Ronnie gets 2 and 2 and suddenly they're calling all their friends to come and watch a 147 happen.>>101182485The meme tweet broke his spirit. He talked himself out of winning.
>>101182617>And Ronnie O'Sullivan is looking for a 147 here>But Thepchaiya Un-Nooh doesn't feel like cooking right now, and says it'll have to wait till after the match
>>101182683yeah but Stuart Bingham got banned betting so he's a cunt.
>>101182683I've resorted to watching this match on a bbc stream instead of a eurosport stream. The eurosport commentary is way better. I can't believe they were implying a 147 at 3 reds and 2 blacks
it's a ronnie smashes some nobodies early rounds to lose to the first credible opponent edition
>>101177538>>101182114i don't know how to open the stream, it asks me to save a file
>>101182898Start in a media player.
>>101182902>notorious asshole whose own dad is a literal murderer turns out to be a bad fatherI for one am shocked
>>101182898Copy the link, open VLC Player, hit CTRL-N, and insert it there and then use play.
>>101182898in vlc media->open network stream
In the past five minutes, the commentators have mentioned Joe Davis, Fred Davis and John Pullman. How many people watching this will be old enough to remember any of those? It's just bizarre. You don't watch Neymar in a football match and hear the commentator say, "Ah, this reminds me of Brazil's famous loss to Uruguay in 1950. I was there, you know."
>>101182971tbf though Ronnie did have a father till his teenage years, not like his dad was put in the pen by the feds when ronnie was a yute
>>101182971Being gone every other week to play on some snucker tournament surely helped
two centuries in three frames, where's Un-nooh??
They should just replace the clapping machine with Un-Nooh. It's not like he has anything better to do.
one of the things I love about no crowd and the recorded applause is how awkward it makes that raising of the voice Taylor and Doherty love doing to yell over the applause (WHAT A MAGNIFICENT BREAK BY RONNIE O'SULLIVAN...).
>>101183011yeah I’m sure being ‘fathered’ for all those years by a career criminal with the capacity for stabbing someone to death in him did Ron a world of good
Come on, pull up the graphic.
>>101183132Lmao always hated that about Taylor.>THE CROWD IS GOING CRAZY>ALL SMILES AT THE CRUCIBLE
>>101183114>FINISH ME OFF, RONNIE! I'M A MUG!
>>101183205yh well u dano n cant assume tings like thatyh ok his dad chinged someone n is a clown ting but dont mean he was a bad dad to his yutes when they were young ygm?make no mistake yh u r a clown if u chef someone up idc how sad the road is n believe me the road is sad as but never chef someone up he is a fool ting yh but dont mean he a bad dad
He said it! Tick it off the bingo card! You never settle till you have your first frame on the scoreboard!
>>101182971>become a legend of snooker>being a good fatherif one is incompatible with the other, I would rather have the first one, thank you very much.
AAAAAND HE BLUNDERS
wish there was a song that accurately captured the feeling of being crazy and nutso over snooker
ok im off to /f1/ nowsee you when ronnie is back aha
70% pot sucess for Un-Nooh.
This is a mauling
OH GOD IM GONNA SNOOOOOOOK
>>101183435I'm sure there's a song called "Billiards Looney". Perhaps we could update the lyrics to mention various snooker players from the 1980s?
>>101183435I wish it featured Willie Thorne and had something to do with GARGOOLS.
>>101183532>>101183560sounds like it would end up featuring on a ultimate 100 bad songs list
>>101183009Seems like it happens when the commentator is in his role for too long, can't count how many times our most known footy commentator mentioned '73 "winning draw" at Wembley
I didn't even know this is on, I guess I'm not really into snooker anymore. Have fun. :)
Fun trivia: Chas & Dave also played as session musicians for Labi Siffre on his song "I Got The...", which was later sampled for Eminem's "My Name Is". So Eminem started his career by sampling Chas & Dave.
>>101183760B O S N I A
>>101183760w-wait bosniabro.stay a little.are you... ok?
>>101183760Come back, Bosniabro! Tell us what happened to the refugee in your house!
Ronnie vs Ding next round
>>101183817>>101183820I'm watching Higgins-Stevens on TV, refugee is gone.
>>101183909I hope you're ok.I worry.
horrible break by un-nooh
>>101183778Wew never knew that. Noice
How many pots until the gook breaks?
>>101184717lmao, he's already broken
Gook is better at potting cue balls than reds lmao
>biggest achievement is winning a meme tourneySurely no one expected him to cause an upset?
WEW DAT RED
10-0 coming lads...Only 4 frames left
This dude is gonna get bageled
ronnie loves getting close to centuries and then ruining them. imagine how many more centuries he would have in his career if he wasn't so careless.
Imagine being a thai fan, staying up all night to watch this game.
>yeah, well doneSounded like a disappointed father.
>that look of relief
>>101185143Quite a few more I think according to cuetracker
A classic situation. Now that he's won a frame, he relaxes too much and loses all the remaining ones.
>>101185409Heres judd the autist's stats
>>101185436>and he misses a sitter again
it's over, rpmmie is done
>>101185436what is Frame stat? i don't get it
1 4 747
>>101185846OH NO NO NO
>>101185753How many frames on average before they produce a break in that range
Poor little Stevens
Just got home from work lads, time to get comfy and put the TV on to watch the end of Ronnie's session!
>>101179631Mate, make some room for "Everything? Everything."
Stevens is a specialist in poor decision-making.I've never seen so much talent being wasted by so much poor decision-making.
Already on page 7 so I made a new thread>>101186594>>101186594>>101186594
>>101186601That's not how threads work, Adolf.
>>101186688>hidler dubskekWe're on page 7 though so I made one just in case we are bumped off.