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>three of my profs got covid so I had to drop their classes
>haven't touched real math for a while because of work and depression
>work by tutoring highschoolers and as a waiter on the weekends
>make enough to share an apartment with two roomies
>I'm in charge of cooking and cleaning both my room and the living room twice a week
>it's hot as balls
>turn on AC
>drip drip drip
>fucking hell
>grab a bucket and place it below the leakage
>exhausted
>lay in bed
>drip drip drip
>can't get any shuteye
>shove a towel inside the bucket
>works for a while then it fills up a bit more and it starts again
>fixated on the sound
>try to figure out how often I have to empty the bucket
>think
"bucket is like a truncated cone so maybe I could figure out the formula for the cone and set my initial height as the height that gives me the same circle as the one in the bucket's base, etcetc"
>do that
>tedious calculations
>arrive at something like [math] \frac{dh}{dt} = \frac{k}{h+c} [/math]
>remember I skipped all of my diffy Q classes and only took the exams to pass with a B
>panic
>curl up in a ball
>roomies find me in a corner
>they empty bucket of water over my head and call me a retard

Is it unironically over? How did it end up like this? How do I get back on track? I was supposed to be smart, why did i let myself go like this?
>>
>>13264586
>I was supposed to be smart,
You are literally a B grade bachelors student why would you ever think that? You have an extremely hard road ahead if you if you want even a shot of making it into a proper STEM job.
>>
>>13264603
>You are literally a B grade bachelors student why would you ever think that?
I skipped all of my classes, the B was destilled intuition
>>
>>13264607
>destilled intuition
which i apparently lost by letting myself go to become a full time retard
>>
bump
>>
>>13264586
Let x = h+c so that dx/dt = dh/dt. The solution is then trivial.
>>
>>13264670
It's just as easy to just treat the derivative as a fraction, put it in diferential form and integrate over the height and over the time but I just fucking froze in the moment, I don't know if my brain is going to shit because of the lack of practice or social interaction, it's scary and idk what to do.
>>
>>13264607
>I skipped all of my classes,
Did you think that matters? No excuse.
>>
>>13264603
You should realize most ppl skip their classes and end up in the A-/B+ range.
Getting a B means you're actually retarded.
>>
>>13264811
Isn't B the equivalent of somerhing like 80/100? I'm a spaniard so I thought it was but maybe I was wrong, I passed the class with 82/100
>>
>>13264817
Isn't it A(100-90), B(89-80), C(79-70), D(69-60)?
>>
>>13264811
This.

Got a First degree and I skipped 80% of my undergrad lectures.
>>
>>13264586
Sounds like you have some sort of anxiety disorder. I discovered something similar about myself during my college years too, though not as extreme as what you're exhibiting.
Get professional help. Check with your university's health center and see what they can do for you. Mental health is a serious topic. Needing help doesn't mean you're crazy or any less of a person.
>>
>>13264586
>OP cannot solve the simplest integral in the world
holy fuck what a retard
Also it's all your fault and you know exactly what to do so anything anyone says really doesn't matter you just want attention.
>>
>>13264586
learn to code ,make 200k per anum for 7-10 years ,live frugally and invest at that time frame and then come back to academia if u're really interested in physics so much so that the post doc trap does not scare u or make u lose interest in physics.
>>
>>13264586
Switch to CS, anon
I got straight B's and C's and ended up breaking 200k with 3 years of experience this year
>>
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>>13265318
>>13266302
Is there really no other way? I enjoy doing proofs and i'm good at it but I've developed some sort of mental slowness over the last months, I don't know if I'm going retarded or if it's because I don't eat well or get enough sleep or all of the above. I feel like I'm constantly high and forgetful, I don't think I could even code at this point.
I would go get a checkup but I think I'd be wasting my money if it isn't something that requires medical attention.
>>
>>13264586
>bucket as a cone
>not a cylinder
dude in what world? call the angle small and say it doesn't matter
>>
>>13266533
The cone let's me make a better aproximation for relatively small effort, the cilinder analogy would imply that the change in height is constant because the radius stays the same
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>>13266550
Yes, and the difference between the upper and lower radius is so fucking small your effort is pointless. Unless, you have a really fucking weird bucket.
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>>13266556
Picrel
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>>13266562
The change of radius wrt height is only first order. Why the fuck would you use calculus for this and not just subtract two volumes?
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>>13266571
idk anon, my working theory is that my brain is dying
>>
>>13266579
I think you are just stressed and over thinking things. Using simple tools for simple problems is not a bad thing, I just think you have something to prove to yourself and over complicated something easy. Wanting to prove yourself isn't a bad thing, but read a textbook and work through it instead.
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>>13266581
But will it make it go away or am I stuck like this forever? Will my brain be now the equivalent of an old beat up 2006 laptop that can only run pinball machine instead of the 2015 pc that could play tf2 at 64 fps it used to be?
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>>13266593
it will only stay this way if you cannot chill
you must chill
>>
>Measure bucket
>wa la

No wonder you are jobless you fucking imbecile
>>
>>13266653
I did
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>>13264586
Call your landlord and get the leak fixed you fucking retard.

Also, switch majors. Pretty much everyone who majors in physics gets depression. It's worthless, and despite what you've been told, upper level physics is mostly bullshit.
>>
Feels bad going to college so young. Israel has it right with waiting atleast 3 years cause of the army.
>>
>>13267082
>Pretty much everyone who majors in physics gets depression
>Upper level physics is mostly bullshit
I never got in planning to do research for a living, my plan was to become an actuary or stock broker for a bit and then write math and physics papers for fun. Is that still a good plan or it isn't worth it?
>>13267126
I just feel like I'm being left behind, I still remember when I could "hard" proofs on the spot in first semester and now everyone is just zooming past after I left myself go. feels bad man.
>>
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