Oh shit nigga! You are Agent No Name. You are a faceless Galactic Empire Operative. The crown princess has been captured by the rebels!While the imperial navy launches a frontal assault, your mission is to sneak through the battle lines, find out where the princess is and extract her.Aboard your customized STEALTH battleship ST-100, you have gathered a literal skeleton crew and 3 more field agents to assist you on this mission. You have just taken down another rebel ship and is now on your way to the next sector in pursuit of the princess.shieeeeeeeeeet
awww shieeeet nigga I'm agent No Name. When is this battle starting?
>>5421634Well the actual war's happening alllll the way over sector fivehundredthingamajig. Don't need to worry about that.For now
>>5421642Should we check our emails?
>>5421642Let's take another look at our recently acquired loot
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5421642It really would be a shame if a huge wormhole the size and shape of Texas were to show up and instantly transport us across space and time into the thick of a interplanetary battle between two space naval fleets,Wouldn't that be just so wacky?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5421642let's go, plot a course and jump to the next sector
>>5421656Plotting course to next sector
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5421673GREENGREENGREENGREENGREEN
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5421673Green
>>5421675Roll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is what kinda shit it is:80-100: oh sweet free stuff40-79: Event20-39: Enemy Encounter10-19: Worse Event2-9: Space Monster1: oh no
Rolled 91, 18 = 109 (2d100)>>5421681Lets roll shit
Rolled 88, 55 = 143 (2d100)>>5421681Fuuuuuuuu-
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5421681Rollen>>5421682Gustaf? Is that you?
>>5421684GAAAAAAAAAAAAA THERE IS A FUCKING BALL THERE SHOOT SHOOT IT NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>5421690How about you roll anon?
Rolled 34, 13 = 47 (2d100)>>5421681
WARNING WARNING: ENGINE FAILURE
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5421696QUICKLY PRESS THE BRIGHTEST BUTTONS WE CAN FIND, THAT SHOULD FIX IT... I THINK.
>>5421696Crew skill issueWe must descend to the engine block with haste
>>5421697Pressing the brightest button on the screen....orders the maintenance crew to take care of it. In the mean time, the ship will be unable to move until the problem, whatever it is, is fixed
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5421700Damn, shoot a message to the engineers and ask them what the fuck happened? Are they going on strike for raises or something? Maybe we should make a quick prayer to space Cthulhu for luck.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5421700Great, now go into cryopod and sleep until whatever it is, is it's fixed
>>5421704Sadly you didn't splurge on getting a fancy cryopod during character creation
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5421704Oversee the repairs to make sure the engine doesn't go boom.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5421710Lets just go and shoot it
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5421710Go down to engineering and see what went wrong with the engine.I swear to god if the engineers are on strike again, I'm gonna lose it.They always complain about how they can't feed their families, like bro, just eat.
>>5421713Are you planning on shooting the engine core until it works?
>>5421713How can you shoot a cryopod that you don't even own? C'mon anon get real
>>5421710Let's socialize with our fellow named characters
>>5421723Shoot OP instead
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5421723No, its time to get fake, like this rebellion's ideals!Go and see what went wrong with the engine!
>>5421720Yeah, kinetic power and all that
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5421723Check the engine yourself
>>5421731The crew you sent down there hasn't respond either, better go check it out then
>>5421737press that button harder so the elebator arrives better, faster
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5421737Gun at the readyHelmet on frowny face modePortable Joseph, deployed
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5421740For seemingly no reason.Roll 1d100
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5421750Damn
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5421750Ah shit, here we go again.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5421750don't tell me that one of the crew ate alien eggs and the engine room is now a xeno hive...
>>5421755Could be worse, could be adeptus mechanicus trying to free the engine.
>>5421759The engine spirit is not amused!
>>5421755Also our crewmates don't have stomachs
>>5421753"Oh hey chief. Yeah we found out what the problem was. The ship got infected with a rare species of space critter. It managed to chew through some of the engine room's systems, hence the failures. But don't worry, we managed to hunt it down and contain it before it could properly feed and make a whole hive down here. Who knows what problems could it cause by then!"
Rolled 49, 90 = 139 (2d100)>>5421772Good work, sailor. Best send down the marines to scour the ship proper to make sure this is actually the case.
>>5421772Insist on checking if it's really the case.
>>5421777You send down the closest equivalent you have to Imperial Spess Marines: your 2 field agents Joseph and Luke
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5421786Cool. While they do that, lets shoot that thing out of the airlock and be done with it.
>>5421786Burn the alien and then throw it into the sun.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5421786Oh, and do please send our little stowaway to R&D as soon as possible. If this one little guy could cause us this much trouble in so little time, *Get up close to the container and tap on the glass* imagine it’ll do to those trash buckets of rebel ships.
>>5421788See ya, strange space critter
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5421804…What is the possibility that we could tame the beast?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5421804PRESS THE BUTTONKILL ITXENO SCUM
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5421804Wait a second, we didn't stop at any planet recently, how did this thing get on board? It must be capable of surviving and traveling through space, and chewing through our hull, right? Make sure it's dead before we shoot it out the airlock, or it might just come back.
>>5421808But anon! What about bio warfare? Using Xenomorths? Making a good soup?!
>>5421815MANKIND NEEDS NO FILTHY XENOS HELP TO KILL.
>>5421819Can we at least save it until we get to a rebel planet, then torpedo it to it?!
>>5421821IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE.KILL IT NOW, ONE LESS XENO IN THE UNIVERSE.
>>5421824but you might not be killing it by shoving it out the airlock, we should kill it properly...
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5421828Good riddance, tell someone on the bridge to fire a torpedo at it. Blow it the fuck up to kingdom come.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5421828now shoot it with the Battleship Guns>>5421832bro can you stop hogging the high rolls holy crap
>>5421825I am correcting this error on my part...
>>5421833The dice gods hate xenos too, I am the vessel for their concentrated hatred apparently.
>>5421832"An entire torpedo? Isn't that a bit wasteful?""Can't we shoot it with a beam or something"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5421839We have guns, use those instead.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5421839No, only a torpedo is a fit enough weapon to kill something this vile.EXECUTE THE COMMAND.
>>5421841"Pssst...would this be a good time to remind him that we didn't get any space torpedoes during character creation?""Eh. Just load up a high explosive shell in the ship cannon, he won't be able to tell"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5421848KABOOM
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5421850pssshheeeewwwww
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5421855GLORY TO MANKIND.DEATH TO XENOS.
>>5421863Excellent work team, xeno annihilated. Ship secure. Glory attained.Lets see how Joseph and Luke and doing on their end of things, no more xenos I hope?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5421863>>5421865Forgot roll lel.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5421866Roll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is against my roll
Rolled 20, 25 = 45 (2d100)>>5421868wow these alien bugs suck
>>5421869"All good, boss. Did a clean sweep of everything and burned all remaining traces of bug DNA. It won't bother us anymore"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5421874Sick, let's repair this engine and get out of here
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5421874Good work team, as a reward you get an extra cup of pudding each to eat during lunch hour at the cafeteria.Engineers how are the repairs coming?
>>5421876>>5421877Repairs should be done soon. About when....OP wakes up. It is now 5 AM. I gotta go.Thread continues in like, iunno, 10 hours or something. Maybe more
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5421879I roll to give OP good dreams.
>>5421868Joseph is too cool for OP's shit dice. I wish we were cool like Joseph.>>5421879Goodnight, OP. You better not be sleeping in our stolen cryopod.
>>5421879Why does brother look like he just finished taking a fat piss in the fire?
>>5422413Judging by the smoke there may have been a fire, so draw your own conclusions.
>>5422824Already have.Has anyone seen OP?
>>5422825OP is a sleepy boi, let him RIP for a while.
Once again we are cucked out of adventure due to OP's faggotry.
Too busy with xeno dick to run gamae. Classic OP.
>>5424011Back from the dead, OP?>Continue gaem
>>5424015AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT
>>5424018Eat it, Skeletons are an excellent source of calcium.
>>5424023Do not the gun, Guns are an excellent source of Lead and Death.
>>5424025do not what now
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5424026do not delay the quest any longer you lazy fuck, continue where we left off
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5424026Offer the skeleton a bridge position. Perhaps security? If things go wrong, they don't have to worry about hull punctures from the gun.
>>5424029Right of course. You have successfully jettisoned the offending space critter and engine repairs are underway.Surely nothing can go wrong
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5424037Of course. Go play on skullstation while we wait for repairs.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5424037If nothing can go wrong then play some good music
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5424046Roll 1d100 against your music player
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5424054Play some glorious Empire music
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5424054Play some soothing music (the nerfed version)
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5424054soothing glorious empire music
Rolled 100 (1d100)I missed like few threads, there is still no Quattro? >>5424037>>5424046something classic likehttps://youtu.be/2spDRJN1s9E?t=26
>>5424061Dicegod appreciates goshogun
>>5424061Quattro is a myth
>>5424065A myth, a legend.What a guy
>>5424056>>5424057>>5424059>>5424061Nothing like good ol' Empire music to fill you with patriotic fervor.Fill in the blanks yourself for what constitutes as Empire Music.Personally i go for thishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KysITV4t5E
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5424069since it's too patriotic, everyone drops their job and stands with salute to appreciate the hymn.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5424069The song does such a good job at inspiring everyone that efficiency goes up 70%
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>542407430 minutes later everyone with renewed patriotism gets back to work.Also your lunch is done too.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5424074UH OH, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE JUST CHALLANGED UD TO A RAP BATTLE
>>5424076Luke made you a hotdog
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5424081He made everyone hotdogs.Without any vegetables
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5424081Hotdogs are an excellent source of protein, Enjoy the hotdog.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5424081Needs ketchup. Let's get some.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5424081Add some ketchup then realize we are wearing a helmet and cant eat it.
>>5424088Don't be silly. All Imperial Operatives are trained in the ancient art of eating through a helmet
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5424090>>5424084
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5424090Well then, do it. EAT THE DOG.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5424090consume hotdogs with gusto
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5424090>>5424091It's true. We unhinge our jaw like so and thennn....
>>5424091The less veggies there are, the more the crew can enjoy Luke's juicy sausage
>>5424097"Wait, how do the three of you eat with your mask on?"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5424097>>5424101
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5424097>>5424101what mask
much apolagogies. i uh, gotta go now, work shit, will continue bread when....iunno, when i can
>>5424128good luck with your gulag shift, OP
>>5424128It's ok OP, I still love you.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5425232Finish the sausages in one synchronized bite.
>>5425239Now paint a smiley face on the visor of helmet.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5425239With Patriotism running through our veins after listening to Imperial Music, we head down to the prisoner cells to convert the captive rebels to loyal Imperial skeleton soldiers. Our crew must grow with more skeletons.
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5425244>>5425245
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5425245>>5425244Quick, get the brainwashing music, the one with that famous idol!
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5425250>>5425251
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5425256Begin the brainwashing process. 70% effectiveness to start with.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5425256>>5425260Warning: may turn any men being brainwashed into simps who would buy idol merch
>>5425264But that's something most of crew do, so it's all fine.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5425260>>5425264Surely nothing can go wrong.Roll 1d100+70 bonus
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5425268Guaranteed success. Rebels have been converted.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5425268One song later.."Uh guys, why are you searching for Shotasniffer bathwater"
>>5425270>>5425271New crew members acquired
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5425282Salute him back. Welcome to the crew, soldier. Now check with engineering on how those repairs are going.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5425284Roll 1d100 for engine repairs
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5425294Hmm.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5425294We are clearly doing engine repairs and not searching for idol pics
>>5425296"Sorry chief, it ain't done yet. But I'm sure we'll be ready soon"Surely nothing can go wrong in the mean time.Who wants to roll for it
>>5425307We'll be 'aight. What's the worst that could happen?
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5425307Talk to someone
>>5425310Or flash signs as the case may be
>>5425308IndeeedRoll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is what kinda shit it is:70-100: oh sweet nothing happens40-69: A rebel ship catches up to you10-39: A rebel squad catches up to you5-9: A small rebel fleet catches up to you1-4: Space Monster
Rolled 22, 41 = 63 (2d100)>>5425312
Rolled 88, 38 = 126 (2d100)>>5425312Nothing bad will happen.
>>5425319Little did he know that something bad would indeed happen.
>>5425319"Captain! Sensors indicate that 5 hostile ships are warping in to this sector!"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5425324Battlestations, men. Prepare the small stealth ship for infiltration, boot up the combat drones and redirect power to the gun turrets.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5425324Shoot them, or something
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5425332Of course. Of course. Battlestations.Roll 1d100
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5425345Hmm.
>>5425345*epic battleship noises*
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5425352
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5425348You crippled one of them! They're gonna fire back! Roll 1d100!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5425354What the fuck is this dice rigging?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5425354A fuck
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5425354Rig harder!
>>5425357There is no rigging in Spess Quest Thing
>>5425368Dang, hull status?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5425368Launch the Drone Craft!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5425368Shoot back more! Make them fear the battleship!
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5425370Drones engaged! Roll 1d100!+30 bonus
Rolled 89 + 30 (1d100 + 30)>>5425379DRONES, FOCUS FIRE ON THEIR ENGINES.THEY CANT ATTACK US IF WE LEAVE THEM IN THE DUST!!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5425379Anti-rigging fields engaged
>>5425381This is the based solution, with their engines crippled we can board them and take them for ourselves.
>>5425381But our engines are still out…
>>5425381You managed to cripple 3 of them! OH SHIT ONE OF THEM MADE IT THROUGH
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5425400Use the guns on them.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5425400Concentrate fire on their Starboard bow!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5425400Grab it with the ship hands and throw it at the other ships!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5425403Roll 1d100 to blast it to kingdom come
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5425416The Empire prevails!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5425416Not even close
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5425416Fire the laser!
>>5425424Now fire the disco lazor
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5425424Prepare to board the disabled rebel ships. We have a lot of new crew members to induct today, it seems.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5425424activate video communications and tell the surviving rebel ships to surrender and prepare to be boarded.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5425430Their engines are down but they're not out! Watchout for the missile barrage!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5425439Reroute all power from weapons to shields! Maximum forcefield output!
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5425439!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5425439Use the guns for CIWS
>>5425418>>5425429Get in here niggers, we need a good roll.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5425439INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5425439Good thing our rigging field is on to make them miss. I mean, they’re called MISSiles. If you want to hit anything in space, everyone knows you have to use guns or torpedoes. Idiots.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5425439Fuck these missiles
There is no dice rigging in OP's threads
>>5425454>op ignores winning dice in favour of bad diceHistorical Revisionism
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5425454Engineering, Damage report!
>>5425459I have no idea what you are talking about
>>5425462How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?
>>5425459There are no good dice in Ba singe se...
>>5425462I will report you to the gulag jannies for this violation, OP.
>>5425464>>5425468hush anons. there is no rigged dice here. you are safe. now turn your attention back to the qst and not this briefcase of little importance
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5425471Kill OP and steal his dice. Then we can go back to the quest.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5425471Snipe the handles off the briefcase
>>5425471Non rigged dice? Wait a second… whete did these dice we’re rolling with come from? Could it be that OP has the only non rigged dice? HAND OVER THE DICE OP
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5425474Surely now the dice are more reasonable. Especially since you're gonna try to board the disabled ships
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5425479Yes yes ofcourse
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5425479It seems unlikely, but we'll give it a shot.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5425479…
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5425479I'm keeping an eye on you, trickster. Don't you forget that.
>>5425483Damn, their defenses are still up! You can't get close to 'em!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5425487Shoot their defenses
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5425487Pull back to a safe distance and open comms. Put them on screen and attempt to negotiate their surrender.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5425492Roll for it
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5425497No
Rolled 432 (1d1000)>>5425497Ah yes let me just grab my dice.
>>5425499Oh wow look at that, a super crit.
>>5425499oh noooooo its shield deflected your shot into your dice oh noooooooo
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5425515This is taking too long, just blow up these rebel scum, we have enough crew
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5425515Use the drone fighters to disable the enemy defenses.
>>5425516Nah man, if we can secure these ships we can repair like one or two of them and have a little escort fleet. It'll be great, trust me.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5425516Surely the dice has stopped being fickle
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5425521For the Space Empire!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5425521Can we win anything today?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5425521Why wasn’t that gun already facing them? Which skeleton was asleep at the controls?!?
>>5425521OP… did you give us the fake non rigged dice?
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5425521JUST GIVE UP OP, YOU CAN'T RIG ALL THE DICE
>>5425526"Sorry captain, that was only a glancing shot"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5425530Right, try the drones. If we can just disable their close range defenses their ships will be ours.
>>5425530Actually if you look closer on the screen, you can see >>5425529. That is what we refer to as "confirmed kill".
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5425530I purchas 20 800 mm cannons and you can only score glancing shots on a frigate?!? What do I pay you for?!?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5425530Fucking Grab 'em
>>5425532Of course. The shot glanced off one of the ships. Then hitting the one right behind it
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5425541Ehhh it was probably rebel held anywaysGrab the ships, they are within range! I assume
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5425542>>5425541This is good plan, grab 'em and pull them close so we can board them.
>>5425543I was thinking making ships kiss
>>5425541Make the ships kiss like >>5425544 said
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5425542Ship arms deployed"what the fuck"
>>5425544That sounds like something a lesbian would say.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5425549HERE COMES A GIANT FIST!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5425549C'mere>>5425551I assure you I am homophobic
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5425549>16Finally something we could possibly beat.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5425549time for even more what the fuck. start the ship kissing
>>5425562Now shake all the loot out of them
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5425562Now, penetrate them with the whole squad. Joseph and the Dragon Witch take one ship with half the skellies, while we take Luke and the other half of the skellies to the other.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5425562Waste of budget they said, too expensive they claimed, impractical they brayed...hehehehe...HAHAHAHAHAHA, WHO IS LAUGHING NOW YOU SPINELESS BUREAUCRATS AND WANNABE GENERALS, HUH!?
>>5425570It's almost 4AM, I gotta sleep now. We'll continue the ship boarding next time. Whenever that is.updates b here, yadda yadda: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5425580oh shit, op actually remembered to post the twatter
And OP was never seen again. The End.
>>5429806He was a good man, what a rotten way to die
>>5429806>>5429936I cri evrytim
>>5429976He died of cringe after not updating for several days
Every time I come to QST notapaladin is here, even if I haven't visited in years,. Truly the hardest working drawquester in the world. Thank you for all you do for these kids. I see u dropped the hard R in ur intro XD. U have softened, jk. Keep on brother.
>>5430123I thought he got ligma>>5430492>kidsok daddy
YOU'RE FOUR HOURS PAST YOUR DEADLINE OP!
OP died from crineg overdose.
>fresh bread delivered in the morningdon't disappoint, op
it is time
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5432602Oh no Greg cameo
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5432608What are Greg's thought about Luke in Space?
>>5432609"Well --"To hear Greg's thoughts, buy the Greg DLC, only 599 on the Skeleton Store
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5432610Oh come on, you fuck are already making billions from the Shotasniffer cameo
>>5432611Yes. But what if....we make even more
Rolled 573 (1d1198)>>5432610>>5432613rollan for my wallet's health
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5432613Everyone cheers except the women.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5432613The Empire benifits greatly from Shotasniffer merchandies
>>5432615>573Too bad, thanks anyway for your money
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5432621>>5432618>>5432616
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5432621With all of Anons cash siphoned away we have enough money to continue the quest.
>>5432621Enough fucking around OP, hand over the bread or your IP enters public domain
>>5432622>>5432623>>5432625Right right. Anyway. Boarding the rebel ships. Yes.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5432627How's the progress?
>>5432627Send Joseph in there
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5432627FLASHBANG!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5432631Roll 1d100
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5432634Get 'er done!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5432634IS THAT A EXTRA-STRENGTH FLASHBANG HE'S GOT IN HIS HAND?
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5432634
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5432639GO! GO! GO!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5432639wow, now make it all black cus we blind
>>5432642Luke does a stabbo
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5432652There is the door to the bridge. Gentlemen, prepare to breach.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5432652PREPARE THE BREACHING CHARGES!
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5432652Any luck with finding clues about both princesses?
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5432652Bazooka the bridge door
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5432657Roll 1d100
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5432662Get 'er done.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5432662BOOM
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5432664"THEY'VE BREACHED THE BRIDGE!""OPEN FIRE!"Roll 1d100
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5432670PEW PEW MOTHERTRUCKA
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5432670Pick a God and pray to them for mercy, Rebel Scum.
>>5432670Why won't they just surrender
>>5432676"2XXX, PRAYING TO GOD""IMPLYIN---"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5432693Clean up and secure the bridge. Time to get a new ship for our new fleet.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5432693Check the terminal to identify who these faggots were and claim a potential monetary reward for their heads
>>5432697With that done. Let's see how the other squad is doing
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5432709They're doing great!
>>5432714All the budget for the fight went to the Dragon Witch burning down everyone
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5432714>>5432715
>>5432716>>5432715You know what that means anon. Hand over your wallet
>>5432717Stop using MC as your OC to threaten us. Your fat ass couldn't even extort a rent from grandma.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5432717Y-You're going to spend it on the production r-right. N-not idol merch?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5432717No, please. I have bread I need to purchase.
>>5432720MC No Name is clearly using the money to fund his propaganda film
>>5432723MC needs no money for propaganda, he's fully government funded.
>>5432726Consider it your quest tax then
>>5432728no uyou pay now
>>5432721Of course not
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5432730Get back to rebels not wanting to harm a girl because they're weenies
>>5432731"Damnit Johnson! Stop being such a weenie!""my bad"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5432733Quickly, Dragon Punch them when they're distracted
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5432733Roast the sausage man
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5432733GO BACK TO WEENIE HUT JR'S JOHNSON!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5432737So when are we getting rewards
>>5432737he died doing what he loved
>>5432737Send the wiener back to the ship, it's three weeks too far from Space Oktoberfest for him to be of any use to us now
>>5432740You commandeered 2 rebel ships. What more do you need. so greedy. damn kids these days i swear
>>5432745WE DEMAND GACHA LOOT!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5432745Can we Necromance the dead Rebels at least? We need crew to man our new ships.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5432745GACHA GACHA GACHA guys roll 1d100 for your posts to be chosen
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5432749Roll 1d100
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5432752
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5432752Hmm.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5432752
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5432752
>>5432764How are we going to feed all these boners
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5432764Excellent. The Empire welcomes you, soldiers. Now get to work repairing all three of our ships.
>>5432766And so your fleet grows. But only the ST-100 has a cloak tho, so keep that in mind.With this dealt with, the sector is secured and you can leave as soon as repairs are finished.And OP gotta leave now too cuz of...some shit. Yeah. Bread continues when it continues. Toodleshttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
The tomorrow that never comes.
OP never fails to disappoint us.
Guys he said 2(TWO)morrows he's going to be on time
>>5438367>(two)morrow(ind)s>morrowind was the 3rd tes game>2x3=6>next installment in the elder scrolls franchise will be the 6thG-GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, TODD!!!
>>5438393you know too much
the joke is on us for always expecting OP to be on time
Is your OP a faggot? It is more likely than you think! 7 typical signs that your OP likes to pleasure several men at once (#4 will surprise you!!!).
Yeah! Fuck OP! What an asshole!
>>5438899Fuck OP! All my homies hate OP!Wait a second... that is a pretty cool stash man, do you use an ointment to grow it out or something?
>>5438908Ah coool, I knew it. Let me just feel it, so I get have a frame of reference for my own mustache.
>>5438917Squeeze the not!OP
>>5438924What the fuck? Where did the Totally Not OP go?
>>5438925In your distress over the whereabouts of Totally not OP, you accidentally squeezed OP too hard. Now he's dead and the thread is cancelled
>>5438928https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nkArdZIKX0Grab a shovel.
>>5438930OP's grave has been defiled
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5438932Its okay, I'll just slip this one dollar bill in his...mouth?
>>5438933The less you think about OP's anatomy the better
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5438934Right, back to the quest. Quick rundown on the capabilities of our new ships.
>>5438935"They're run-of-the-mill rebel ships, boss. Being medium sized means they have no overt weakness nor strengths. But none of them have cloaking system like the ST-100, which would affect the fleet's overall stealth capabilities but we can trick enemies into thinking our fleet only have 2 medium ships in it."
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5438944Righto. Lets promote two skeletons to named Captains then.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5438944Who were this ships old captains? I wanna meet them.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5438947"Ah, yes..."Roll 1d100
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5438950Hmmm.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5438950
>>5438957"Here they are, boss. Part of the raised skeleton crew"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5438958What are your names gentlemen?
>>5438959[Insert name here]
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5438964Nice to meet you, Captains “[Insert name” and “here]”, let’s go rescue a princess
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5438964Constantine and Lorenzo, at your service sir.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5438964No, you are now Empire McRocks and Gloryto Empirerovich
>>5438969"Empire McRocks and Gloryto Empireovich, at your service"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5438972Lets go save the princess! your ships can follow us.
>>5438975With that sorted and repairs done, you can now move to the next sector
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5438986As Luke if he knows which path leads to his kidnapped sister.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5438986Green>>5438987We already know the location of the princess
>>5438988The princess is not Lukes sister.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5438986GREEN
>>5438987"Fortunately, the ships we captured had the intel I need, the ones who kidnapped my sister are also helping the rebels. And the trail points to...."Roll 1d100, highest gets picked:Odds: ".....the same place your princess is taken to, Rebel HQ."Evens: "....a secret space station, in the same direction of Rebel HQ, but naturally not in the same sector.""....Also the green path is generally the safest but slower. Red's more risky but would get us there faster"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5439007!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5439007Hmmm...what about yellow?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5439007GREEN
>>5439008Of course. His sister is being held at a different base than the princess. This also means the rebels have another party allied with them.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5439013Lets head down the green path then. We need to find intel on this new faction.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5439013GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
>>5439019Roll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is what kinda shit it is:80-100: oh sweet free stuff40-79: Event20-39: Enemy Encounter10-19: Worse Event2-9: Space Monster1: oh no
Rolled 94, 77 = 171 (2d100)>>5439021OH YES
Rolled 73, 100 = 173 (2d100)>>5439021Free stuff?
Rolled 100, 58 = 158 (2d100)>>5439021
Rolled 36, 22 = 58 (2d100)>>5439021gotta go for that second 100
Rolled 49, 25 = 74 (2d100)>>5439021
>>5439027Entering the sector, you encounter some xenos. They don't seem to be hostile
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5439035Send them a pamphlet offering citizenship within the Empire
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5439035They ain't hostile, we ain't hostile. It all works out. Plot travel to the next sector.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5439035xenos?Xenos?!XENOS??!!FUCKING XENOS???!!!!FUCKING RAMMING SPEED AND SPLATTER THOSE FUKINGGG XENOS SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5439035Wave at them with our ship hands
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5439039Roll 1d100
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5439042lmaoooo
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5439042Hmmm.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5439042FIRE THE LASERS
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5439043+1
>>5439045Grateful for your friendliness, the ayys beams some supplies to you and went on their way
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5439056Cool, let’s continue
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5439035Based xenos in their based saucer. Wave at them.
>>5439060ignore this i forgot to scroll
>>5439057Jumping to next sector. If all of your jumps turned out like that one, this would be smooth sailingFucking Captcha ate my post
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5439066Hm, that's strange. The space radar is picking up a slight disturbance blip up ahead, I wonder what that could be...
>>5439066What's the % chance for xenos spawning as sexy avatar babes in this game?
>>5439069AND THAT IS......Roll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is what kinda shit it is the spess radar detected:81-100: A huge wreckage50-80: This non-empire sector is having a space war of its own20-49: A rebel fleet!2-19: A rebel fleet fighting a space monster!1: Space monster fleet
Rolled 50, 4 = 54 (2d100)>>5439073>space monster fleet
>>5439079Aaaaa shieeet....And we'll deal with it later. When thread continues. Since it's 4AM and OP gotta pass out now. See ya
Rolled 54, 51 = 105 (2d100)>>5439092Looks like a job for Joseph.
>>5439092Yo shit that's a space dragon! You think the Dragon Witch can commune with it using her dragon magicks?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5439092Ah, a giant space monster is fighting against the rebel fleet. That is very cool.See if dragon witch has anything to say.
>>5440402This is operative bread.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5440402Operative, this is no time for bread hiding, Emperor expects his bingo updatesAnd the princess I guess but he said you can say it later
>>5440404Oh shit it's your cousin! Agent baguette
>>5440407Wait, he's blue!
>>5440407Where's Cousin Croissant?
>>5440408WHICH MEANS HE'S AN ENEMY!
>>5440416le gasp!And then we wake up
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5440423What an odd dream. Anyway, time to fire lasers indiscriminately.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5440423We gotta call our cousin and ask him if he's still loyal! Bedtime propaganda skeleton! Dial him up!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5440423Right, so the rebels are fighting a giant space dragon. Get the Dragon Witch in here, maybe she can communicate with the Dragon and see if it needs our aid.
>>5440426"Hnnnnggghhhyeeeesssssssss. Mighty space dragon. So majestic. So regal."
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5440434Tell it to...keep doing what it is doing right now really and uhhh....wreak havoc on rebel planets and stations, ones that are not ours that is, like, ones we just captured
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5440434Witch, focus. You can drool over the Dragons in your risque magazines later. Right now we need you to do some magic and speak with the Dragon.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5440435Roll 1d100
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5440446But also tell it to leave that one ship alone on the right, our fleet needs to grow.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5440446Right...
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5440446DRAGON
>>5440448"The dragon heeds my words. It will not target us"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5440460Very well then, lets crack some rebel skulls then. Attack the left flank and prepare to board the isolated vessel.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5440460Alright...cool...get the popcorn and enjoy the show
>>5440460Open fire on the enemy ships that are fighting the dragon.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5440464Roll 1d100
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5440482Death?
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5440482Are you fucking serious right now
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5440482I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD'VE LET DRAGON DO ITS THING
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5440482oh no
>>5440491The Rebel Operative manifests himself into the ship and slaps your head off.RIP
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5440495Well shit, game over then. Guess it's time for Skeleton Island 3.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5440495play sad trumpet as you put it back on
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5440495new poll when?
>>5440497But for real tho.Roll 1d100 to determine what did OP's 100 meanOdds: The Space Dragon is a bit too generous with its beam attacksEvens: The ship you're attacking managed to detect you in time and did evasive maneuversTens: A rebel ship jumped out of hyperspace and attacked you from behind
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5440502
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5440502
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5440502what is tens>>5440510shut up nerd
>>5440511Rolls that end in 0
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5440507One of the stray beams hit your fleet as you try to approach the rebel'sRoll 1d100 for how bad it is
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5440516Everything is fine. Just a scratch.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5440516If we had chosen the lesbo maybe the dragon witch wouldve controled the dragon better and not beamfuck us
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5440522Sweat nervously as we engage the rebel ship.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5440522nothing of value was lost, now let's get moar skeletons for the skeleton throne
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5440524Surely the same thing won't happen again?
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5440528Of course not, we are the best
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5440528What could possibly go wrong.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5440534Right then, back to the action.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5440534should we use the same strategy and grab them with our superiour shiphands or bomb'em?
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5440534Fire the guns
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5440539Roll 1d100
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5440557Hmm.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5440572Grab 'em with the hands. That worked last time.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5440578C'mon ship hands, don;t let us down now
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5440586Did you kill all the other Anons so I would have a harder time beating these rolls, OP?
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5440586fuckfuckfcuk
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5440586Ship hands let us up
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5440586Attempt!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5440586Oh shit, the rebel ship got hands too!
>>5440649Amateurs! Send direct control of the hands to my gloves, I'll show em how we fight in operator school
>>5440720Neuro Link activate
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5440759karate chop the rebel ship
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5440759PUNCH
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5440766ROLL 1d100+30 Bonus
Rolled 69 + 30 (1d100 + 30)>>5440776OP rigging the die real bad.
Rolled 11 + 30 (1d100 + 30)>>5440776FUCKING DICE
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5440791Launch the drones to blow out the engines of some other rebel ships.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5440796>Drones
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5440817It's dronin' time.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5440817pew pew their engines, drones.
>>5440822"It's a hit!"Engines are disabled!"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5440828Can we board this disabled ship, or will this be another nat100 from OP cucking us out of loot?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5440830...roll for it
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5440836Hmm.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5440836
>>5440840>>5440855Weeelp. I think imma hit they hay now. See you all next time when the thread continues.updates r here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 6509 (1d20000)>>5440857watch out for needles OP
Is this bread that I see before me?
>>5442974I dunno, is it?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5442978Inspect the bread in three dimensions.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5442978Fire the laser! Time to make some toast!
>>5442979YOU FOOL! YOU'RE A 2D CHARACTER! YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND THE THIRD DIMENSION!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5442987SNAP BACK TO REALITY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5442998Right, back to the battle. Prepare to board the disabled rebel ships. This time it will totally work.
>>5443001What do you mean? Clearly the previous roll mean the drones did TOO Good of a job and the rebel ships can''t even be salvaged :^)
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5443008Damn this Empire and it's super effective murderbots! Right, begin fleet action to hunt down any remaining Rebels here.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5443008Fine, grab the scrap with robot arms, roll it into a ball and throw at a rebel held world
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5443010
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5443017[Nervous Sweating]
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5443017oh no
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5443017
>>5443020Rebel hunt in progress
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5443026SUBMIT TO THE EMPIRE AND ALLOW THYSELF TO BE SENT TO KPOP MINES AS PUNISHMENT
>>5443027"THE KPOP MINES?....DEATH BEFORE KPOP! INITIATE THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5443033Watch the fireworks, mission accomplished, no survivors
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5443038Alright afterbattle report
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5443038Shame about the ships, we could've used those.Anyway, observe the Space Dragon. Maybe it will offer us a boon for our aid against the rebel fleet.
>>5443043"Oooooh majestic space dragon. Having the privilege to observe your mighty form is reward enough"
>>5443052What is it gonna do now? Dragon Witch? Hey, HEY *finger snapping*
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5443054forgot
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5443052That woman ain't right.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5443056Roll 1d100 to snap her ass out of the trance
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5443064*Bonk*
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5443064Just turn off the screen viewer lmao.
>>5443066"Bonk? You got it, chief"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5443070Right...so what is dragon gonna do now?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5443071Roll 1d100
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5443072Hello, dragon-friend.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5443072Initiate staring contest
>>5443073The dragon recognizes your help in fending off the rebels. It will give you a boon, which is:A. A piece of its body, the crew can research it and create a random piece of equipmentB. A bit of its energy, which will temporarily supercharge your fleet, allowing it to skip 1 sector if you don't like the encounter rollC. You getting to live. That's enough of a reward for you, puny human
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5443077A, we gain his liver
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5443077>A piece of its body, the crew can research it and create a random piece of equipmentA dragon scale that was blown loose during the battle.
>>5443081To the lab!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5443081Get the skelli-science team to begin research on the application of the scale while we prep the warp drive.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5443084Begin the science!
>>5443085Roll 1d100 Odds: The equipment will be ready in about 2 jumpsEvens: The equipment will be ready in 3 jumpsTens: You'll get it right after you resolve the next jump encounter
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5443088It's time!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5443088HMMMMMMMM
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5443100So after the next jump then. Fantastic, prepare the jump drives.
>>5443102And so you leave the sector.And OP gotta leave the thread. Will continue tomorrow night. Probably same-ish time. See ya anons
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5444846Oh dear god, he's a funko pop!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5444856What gun is that
>>5444865The patented Empire Anti-Funko Gun.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5444868Very cool. But we're in the middle of a system jump right now.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5444868Good. It's dead. Now back to the mission.
>>5444875Right. Jumping.Roll 2d100. First number is to see who gets picked. Second number is what kinda shit it is:80-100: oh sweet free stuff40-79: Event20-39: Enemy Encounter10-19: Worse Event2-9: Space Monster1: oh no
Rolled 56, 17 = 73 (2d100)>>5444881What's behind door number one?
Rolled 87, 25 = 112 (2d100)>>5444881Yo I am here what's going on.
Rolled 5, 46 = 51 (2d100)>>5444881
>>5444886ENEMY ENCOUNTER! IT CAN ONLY BE...A. A Rebel squadronB. Space piratesC. Hostile third party planetD. Roving Space Marauders
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>5444889The dice will tell us who our opponent is.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5444889C
>>5444892Are you suuuuuuuuuuure
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5444897>>5444895No, we'll go with this Anon and his suggestion.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5444897C is meant to be.
>>5444900>>5444899Ah shit, you jumped into one of the sectors that's actually independent from the Empire. While it has no love for the rebels either, it's main enemy is still all Empire forces.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5444904Uhhh, lets just hang out at the edge of the system until the War Drives are recharged.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5444904Yeah we stick to the edge of the system, look at the dark planets and shit.
>>5444912Luckily, your ST-100 is a stealth battleship. This shouldn't be too hard, even if you have 2 non-stealth ships with you
>>5444920Yes they will do a perfect job being a bait if they get detected, while we patiently wait.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5444920We're just hanging out, two medium ships doing nothing. Yep, nothing to see here you independent scum.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5444924Roll 1d100+30 Stealth Bonus
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5444925
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5444925>autowinEat shit, independent retards. You just got caught in an ambush!
>>5444928Wow! You successfully stuck to the outer rim of the sector and completely evaded their patrols! Surely now you can just jump to the next sector without causing any incidents
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5444935Damn, we didn't get to ambush an unwarry patrol at the outskirts of the system? That's so sad.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5444935Yes.Also how is that dragon scale coming along?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5444935Surely
>>5444935JUMP LETS GO
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5444950Observe the results of our Skeleton Craftsmen.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5444950Uh, I know I'm no scientist or anything but is it supposed to be glowing like that?...and sparking?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5444955Anyways, how’s it going?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5444955Good, what have you manged to make then?
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5444955INCREASE EQUIPMENT POWER TO 100%It will either kill us or make the scale do something funny.
>>5444957Things are looking bleak....for OP. Because I gotta go now, something came up. Thread will continue in, iunno, 20 hours or something. Much apolagogiesIn the mean time, you can decide what the science team managed to create with the dragon scale:A. Personal force fieldB. Space ArmorC. Collapsible shieldD. Energy tankE. [insert equipment here]
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5444961The right of Might shall decide! He who has the highest roll shall have the privilege of deciding.>A
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5444961Take care OPAs for what we make our of dragon scale, I say its space armor
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5444961>B
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5444961>E - Space Armor, but it's in the shape of a much cooler longcoat then we have right now
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5444961>E. A dragon scale armored combat drone
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5444961>B
>>5444961>E - Space Armor, but it's in the shape of a much cooler longcoat then we have right nowthis tbqhwurn mr op
>>5446300thread continues in 10 hours, anon
>>5446316So thread in four days, gotcha.
>>5446317Nice joke.4 days is too low
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5444961E - coffee machine
>>5444962>>5446518You DARE approach *my* Power level?!Outrageous!
>>5444961Can you post twatter links in all outro updates and not just on the off-chance you happen to remember, oh pee?
>>5446556I can't beat the shit out of your roll without getting closer
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5444961>B. Space Armor
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5447002give the hat back
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5447035identify the planet
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5447048I meant sector, what are they allied withit's either pirates or some other space empire
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5447049That's right. Who do this planet think it is? not falling in line with OUR Empire?Roll 1d100 to scan
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5447054Scanning
>>5447055"scans show they're not affiliated with anybody"
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5447060That means literally nothing.Make it look like you're just passing through
>>5447063"Well, we've managed to stay on the edge of the sector so far. All we need to do now is make a jump""Surely nothing will go wrong"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5447069Prepare to make jump
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5447089Result
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5447092Roll 1d100
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5447097
>>5447098JESUS IS THERE ANYONE ELSE
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5447101Everyone died except for me"IDENTIFY YOURSELVES"
>>5447105Oh fuck, one of their patrols caught up to your non-cloaked ships!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5447111Open comms
>>5447115"OH FUCK SKELETONS"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5447126We are skeleton merchants, escaping from the empire-rebel war
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5447132"Really now?"Roll 1d100 for persuasion
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5447136SOMEONE HELP
>>5447137"merrrrchants huh?...What are you selling then?"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5447148idol merch
>>5447154"Suuuuure. Then surely you wouldn't mind stopping by our starbase for a quick scan. You know, policy"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5447159Oh god, the only thing worse than raiders.SPACE COPS.
>>5447163>>5447161"uuuhhhh...what do we do?"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5447172Quick, show them the shotasniffer plushie, while someone prepares to play the CD!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5447174Roll 1d100-30 because they're sussing you out
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5447180DAMNIT
no seriously, where is everyone else
>>5447183OP ate them
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5447185shitanyway space police guy doesn't know who she is
>>5447182>>5447190"That's nice and all but I'm still gonna need you to dock so we can scan your ships, buddy"Damnit, being outside of Empire territory must also means they don't have access to Empire Media
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5447192First we gotta know who you are, we randomly jumped out somewhere, don't want to be suddenly killed by raiders
>>5447194"We are the Zucurians. We control this sector."
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5447199>ZucurianQuick look-up on the stealthed ship
>>5447202The Zucurians from Zucuria. That's what their planet is called. So at least he's not lying about their names.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5447207Research under beliefs and what they do
>>5447209Ah, yes, they believe in:A. a space God of some kindB. science and shitC. an inter-dimensional space worm that comes around every 5 years to demand sacrificesD. Zucurian Genetic SuperiorityE. eating delicious empire flesh. Especially those of Imperial Agents. They think those are the juiciestF. [custom answer]
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5447214C, D and E.Every 5 years they host a dinner celebration for the space worm they call their God where they dine on lesser people.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5447223AND TODAY'S THE DAY
>>5447241"Uhhhhh, sir, a giant portal just opened in the sector"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5447244Have we tried to closing it?
>>5447246>>5447250"Wellll....first time we saw this happening boss.""This ship's not even equipped with portal technology""We could try shooting at the portal""I'll reveal our position tho""Or kill the inter-dimensional space worm, that'll intimidate the Zucurians enough that they won't have us for dinner""OR it will fill them with righteous anger and make them attack us even harder"
>>5447252Maybe the worm is friendly!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5447253I was so enamored with the idea of the worm being friendly I forgot my roll!
>>5447254WHY were you so enamored with the idea of the worm being friendly?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5447255What is this, an interview?
>>5447255KILL IT and convince them we're Zupercurians so they run away in fear of being eaten by a super space worm following us and appearing every 7 years (in 5 minutes)
>>5447262We have 1 vote for kill the space worm
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5447266Poll the skeleton crew
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5447266KILL IT
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5447266>>5447268As the part of skeleton crew of this quest I say kill the worm
>>5447262Fuck it why not+1
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5447276FIRE DA LAZOR
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5447276RAMMING SPEED
>>5447277Alright. Everyone to battlestations. The Zucurian patrol is still being occupied with the non-cloaked ships. That should give us enough time to at least fire off a volley unobstructed. But as soon as we did that,our position will be revealed.
>>5447279can we shoot it already
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5447281Not until you finish your veggies--I mean roll 1d100
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5447282I only eat calciumFIRE DA LAAAAZOR
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5447282PEW PEW
>>5447283"WHAT THE FUCK"
>>5447285The god is dead, only Zupercurians left
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5447285SHOOT IT MORETO SMITHEREENS
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5447287"THAT'S AN EMPIRE BATTLESHIP!""FUCKERS WERE EMPIRE AGENTS AFTER ALL! CALL THE MAIN FLEET! PROTECT THE GREAT ONE"They're joining the battle on the Worm's side!Roll 1d100
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5447288Ah what a fucking niggerActivate our reflex boosters for the next round!