you're human slave, wat do?
Up to this point you've lived your life toiling away as a citizen of the IMPERIUM OF MAN. But now, the world you call home has been conquered by foul xenos forces.Emperor protect you. Just who are your new alien overlords?>Da Orkz>Necrons>Tau
>>5020804>>Da OrkzGet started! Get stupid!
>>5020804>> Da Orkzbig titty is a lie
Alright, looks like Da Orkz have itclosing votes
Yep, shortly after the Ork WAAAGH‼!! Crashed face first onto the planet. All the Imperial cities were smashed to rubble, and amongst the ruins the Ork meks built up new ramshackle ORK towns from the scrap.Orkoid mushrooms started growing everywhere; squigs, gretchins and snotlings started crawling out of every nook and cranny. Before long the entire planet had become something completely unrecognizable.You, along with the rest of the survivors quickly found themselves faced with an ultimatum: "Do wot I says or Iz bash you up." And so began your exciting new career as a slave.Yep, Life's pretty tough under the new management.Pick 1 special skill to help you out>Lying>First Aid>ClimbingAnd 1 model to distinguish your character's appearance.>1>2>3>4>5>6
>>5020904>First AidMedics are always appreciated.>3We're one u'tha gards
(gonna sleep, I'll check on the quest when I wake up)
>>5020904>First Aid>3Let's see if we can't get our own gretchin
>>5020904>ClimbingWe parkour legend in da making, da best, can do anyfing! Believe it!
>>5020904>First Aid>2Are they a she or a he?
>>50217122 has the SoB symbol, 3 is guardsman.Really though, why would you ever want to be a female slave?
Okay looks like Medicae won flat out and we got 5 vote for #36 vote for #2>Are they a she or a he?She's a girl
You crawl out of your shared shack ready for another hard day's work of transporting raw sewage in and out of Da Pile O'Dakka.Looking around, your task master (An Ork Runtsherd named Stink 'Ead) is nowhere to be seen, and without him all the grots and squigs he's supposed to be watching are meandering off.Looks like you can do whatever you want?>Go to Da Fungus Bar>Sabotage some Ork shit>Upgrade your shack
>>5021731>>Go to Da Fungus Bar
>>5021731> Sabotage some Ork shit
>>5021731>Go to Da Fungus Bar
There's zero chance of overthrowing the Orks.And little hope of improving your standing in a society where size = status.May as well enjoy your new life as best you can, Emperor willing.You don't really know what a human can do to "enjoy" herself in an Ork town. So I guess it's time to find out. And the Fungus Bar seems like the perfect place to start.>Crawl in through the Grot-flap>Walk in the front door>Sneak around the back
>>5021810>>Sneak around the back
>>5021810>Walk in the front doorI mean we're not a Grot, and the back is only for staff and stuff, and it's not like the door has a "Orks only" sight on it.
>>5021810> Sneak around the back
Feeling a bit nervous about entering a bar full of unruly drunken Orks you decide to look around the back instead.Peering around the corner: a mean looking brewboy chucks a huge rubbish bag on the ground and bustles back into the bar through the backdoor.Some Grots scramble out to rummage through the trash. Meanwhile an Ork boy stinking of booze lies passed out on the ground.>Rummage through the trash>Go in the back door>[First Aid] Pull one of the Ork's teeth**Teeth = Ork Money
>>5021810>Walk in the front door
>>5021884>Rummage through the trash
>>5021884> [First Aid] Pull one of the Ork's teeth*
>>5021884>>[First Aid] Pull one of the Ork's teeth*
>>5021884>>[First Aid] Pull one of the Ork's teeth*if he wakes up we tell him it was rotting
>>5021884>[First Aid] Pull one of the Ork's teeth*
Are "humies" even allowed to buy stuff with teeth?Only one way to find out. This is too good an opportunity to let go to waste. You pick up a pair of slipjoint pliers from the trash. And get to work.You pick a loose looking one and fasten the pliers. "Do it quick. And pull as hard as you can" you think to yourself.Roll to pull the tooth without waking the Ork.[roll 1d100we'll take an average of the first 3 rolls1 roll per ID]An average of 30 or higher to succeed.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5021978teef
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5021978Orc Dentistry is a go!
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5021978
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5021978
(Rolled 35, Success!)Placing one foot on the patient's chest your yank as hard as you can. The tooth pulls free and you fly backwards onto your rump.You smile as you hold the ivory fang in front of your face, but when sleeping greenskin groans and starts to get up. You scuttle around the corner and hide clutching your toof tightly.Peeking out, you see the Ork pick himself up and stromp off, grumbling his "Toof 'urts" as he goes.Now you're cooking! Time to see if you can't buy something good in this forsaken Ork-infested world.>Buy a Fungus Beer>Buy a Gun>Get a SECOND Toof
>>5022147> Buy a GunCan we really purchase a firearm with a single tooth?The Orcoid economy must be a veritable powerhouse.
>>5022147>>Buy a Fungus Beer
>>5022152>Can we really purchase a firearm with a single tooth?you know when I was typing up the update the prompt read ">Try to buy a gun" but decided "Try to" is implicit for every prompt in a quest by default and I should just leave it outYour character doesn't know the value of a Toof yet.
>>5022147>Buy a Fungus Beer
>>5022147>Get a second toofTime to double our networth.Not very pious for a sister, are we?
>>5022250I envision her as a Schola Progenium orphan that was intended become a SoB novice
>>5022152Would probably need [lying] desuTo convince the seller that we obtained the teef in the legitimate way
Honestly, all you want right now is a drink. Even some horrid alien swill sounds nice about now.You slide into the bar through the back door and creep past the brewboy while he's busy stirring his slimy cooking pot."All right. This is it." You gather up your nerve and walk up to the bar and hop on a stool.The other patrons take no notice of you. And fortunately for you: the bartender is just a gretchin."Hey. psst." You try to get the grot's attention as he ignores you.A neighbouring Ork bangs his fist on the table and shouts. "OI! RUNT! GET ME A 'NOTHER FUNGUS BEER."He gets served right away. Looks like that's the way things are done around here.Though you don't really want to draw attention to yourself.>wait quietly>throw something at the grot>order a beer like an Ork
>>5022265>throw something at the grot. Something small preferably. Like not to deal damage, but to get his attention.Surely it will end well. Let's see how much of this quest operates on meme logic
>>5022265>order a beer like an OrkSounds like the most funny thing too happen.
>>5022265>>order a beer like an OrkI'm sure we won't stand out at all.
If you're going to have to shout, may as well go for broke.You slam the bench with both hands. "OI! GROT! SHUTUP AND GRAB ME A FUNGUS BEER."Your female, human voice sounding throughout the bar at a completely different pitch to the background Ork mumbling.The puling Gretch looks a little confused but nonetheless submits to your aggression.He takes your one toof and comes back with a HUGE frothing green tankard of Fungus Beer.And by the Golden Throne is it a bizaare drink, strong as a Spacemarine with a weird mushroomy aftertaste. But it *is* booze.Suddenly the world turns upsidedown. One of the Ork boyz has grabbed you by the leg and is dangling you in the air."Hey look, dere's a humie what's havin a drink with uz Orkz!"Dopey ork laughter surrounds you."Dats mine now." Says another, picking up your fungus beer.>plead>call for help>bite
>>5022322yeah. about what I expectedwe need to start gretchin revolution or some shit>Just hang there untill he gets bored. mourn your beer silently
(ok im going to bed now, timezones are a bitch)
>>5022336might as well shitpost
>>5022322>pleadpwease gib beer to puny humie
>>5022322>BiteIf we’re going for broke, better be as Orky as possible to get out of this
>>5022800Being orky might get us an orky treatment. Aka the punch. Pretty sure in that case mc will just die instantly lol
>>5022797might as well try
even 3 way splitbased
>Just hang there until he gets bored. mourn your beer silently3>plead3>bite3amazing, clearly I have been doing a good job making all the options equally desirable
>4 4 4
>>5022336>>5022322just hang, do nothing.
>>5022989k, closing vote before things get deadlocked again
There's no use in fighting. You go limp and sniffle as your precious beer disappears down the ork's gullet.The ork holding your ankle gives you a shake, flopping you around."Bit of a dead fish dis one.""Dat's the fing about not-Orkz izn't it?"Your lack of resistance, quickly bores the ork and he decides to play "toss da humie".He hoists you over his shoulder and with a bellowing WAAAAGH‼!! he throws you as hard as he can.Flying through the bar doors, you crash head first into a mushroom covered trash heap and black out.When you come to, it's already night time. Your pliers have been taken, leaving you with nothing. No toof, no beer, no pliers.The activity and volume of an Ork town is apparently unaffected by the daynight cycle and there are still orks moving about everywhere you look.You slowly get up, feeling heavy bruises across your body and a rumble in your empty belly. Maybe you should go home...>Go back to your shack in Da Slave Pits>Find a hiding place>Stealing time
>>5023059>>Go back to your shack in Da Slave PitsNeed to heal
>>5023059>Go back to your shack in Da Slave Pits
>>5023059> Stealing time
>>5023135+ 1 stealing time
>>5023059>Stealing timeOh boy time to go stealing again!
>>5023135>>5023157>>5023171> Heisting the Space-time ContinuumWherein we harness the Ork Gestalt Consciousness to defy entropy itself.
Crawl back to the Runtherd for some slops and a cot in a leaky shack?Screw that! Opportunities await, and you refuse to just lie down and be a slave.You pick up your battered body and sweep away the junk, it's stealing time.You climb up a Wotch Tower and find the Watch-Grot sleeping on the job.Relieving him of his magnoculars, you look around for a good mark.There are a few options of different risk/reward levels.(Note: Your character can die if she tries something dangerous and fails.)DC is the number you have to roll over on a 1d100 average of 3 roll>Squig Pie from a windowsill DC30>A Laspistol from a mekboy's bench DC40>A bag of teeth from a Nob'z belt DC50>Time DC60
>>5023227> Time DC60The Sands of the Glass: How easily they slip though our fingers.
>Time DC60Whatever this thing is, it looks valuable.It's definitely not something made by orks, but still remarkably alien. Regardless of its alleged "Time stoppin" functionality, if it's worth 100 teef it's a good steal.Perched on a workbench in a Big Mek's shop, it's not going to be easy to steal. The hulking ork moves about fiddling with things randomly. But when you hear the sound of welding in the back you know it's now or never.roll 1d100, same deal as before: 1 roll per ID, average of the first 3 rolls.Roll over 60 to swipe the Chronometron without the Big Mek catching you.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5023294
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5023294
Rolled 16 (1d100)HEREWE GOWITNESS ME
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5023294OOGA BABOOGA
Fool! The moment you unclip the metal clips from the device the alarm clock starts ringing.BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRThe Big Mek comes smashing into the room. And he looks PISSED."OI‼ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU IS STEALIN WHAT'S MINE!?! I'LL MASH YOU TA BITZ."He charges at you with his Power Klaw snapping *CLANG CLANG CLANG*By the Emperor! That claw will snap you like a twig! Whatever you do, you better do it fast!>write in
>>5023345> Acquire Paintcan> Throw Paint onto Welding Mask in order to Momentarily Blind the Mek
You toss the paint onto his mask! Direct hit!The Mek roars in anger and swings blindly. You manage to dodge but he's backing you into a corner.>go between his legs DC40>play dead DC??>go for the chronometron DC50
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5023481>go between his legs DC40>grab his dick
Rolls only count after the vote is locked in
>>5023481>go for the chronometron DC50Go big or go home
>>5023489I hate you
>>5023486He's an ork anon. He has no dick
>>5023481>>go for the chronometron DC50Time to die boys
There's only one chance. The alien device.Your heart pounding you dive for it.Give me 3 1d100 rollsand say goodbye to your character
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5023508
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5023508Fuck
Rolled 21 (1d100)leeeeets gooooo
>>5023512>>5023526>>5023527Lmao. Well, nice quest, good run, goodbye
And so anons leaned a valid lesson about taking huge risksOnly took one MC snapped in half
Crushed. A second too slow and it's all over.You were never more than just a slave?Should you have stayed in the safety of the slave pit. Obedient, but alive?...No. Living in fear like that? You touch your hand to your tattoo as the light fades.Given the same choices again you surely would have made them.Better to die free.
>>5023542Whelp. Thank for running I guess. Thats what I get for being absent for one(1) vote.
Well anyway, my weekend's over and I didn't really make this quest with any sort of plan in mind.Might run another session with a new character next weekend. No promises. Thanks for playing.
>>5023551Thanks for running.The dice gods had absolutely no mercy this quest.The ONE roll we succeeded on was a DC 30... and we still rolled a 35.66 average on that one.
okay fuck itI really want to continue this now, and don't feel like waiting 5 days to play more.I'll see if I can get enough (You)s to do a couple quick updates every night.For now I'll just leave the race pick and character pick votes for round two open over night:
Which race has vanquished your world?>Tau>Necrons>DA ORKZ AGAIN‼
>>5024720>DA ORKZ AGAIN‼We'll get this right at some damn point.
>>5024720>NecronsHEHEHEHEAlso, imagine if we find the last run's corpse like it's a roguelike. Would mean the planet's a damn thunderdome of factions too.
Here are some new characters. Both this vote and the faction vote >>5024720 will remain open until I resume the quest tomorrow.>1>2>3>4>5>6>7>8>9
>>5024747>3Hope the dice gods are satiated with the blood of our last PC.
Rolled 4 (1d9)>>5024747
>>5024720>>TauLet's go tau-Objectives-1. dodge the sterilization treatment2. keep the social score up3. don't let your goverment assigned waifu indoctrinate you>>5024747>3I can't reliably tell who any of them are(except for the guardsman), so guardsman it is.4 might be a mechanic(Can you even be a mechanic without being an admech?) And 6 has a column on his tie, so a low-rank inquisition agent?
>>5024720>tauget blue titties>>5024747>3
>>5025137pretty sure canon tau are skinny af, so you're getting b cups at mostalso she's gonna be spitting propaganda non-stoptau waifus are overratedTheir tech on the other hand..
>>5025130You forgot4. Get giant robot.
>>5024740>Also, imagine if we find the last run's corpse like it's a roguelike. Would mean the planet's a damn thunderdome of factions too.not a bad idea>I can't reliably tell who any of them are(except for the guardsman)Yeah I wanted to give them accessories to indicate them as Warhammer40K characters. But could of think of any that aren't military tools/weapons. There's 1 a munitorum tattoo, 2 a wyrdvane psyker's belt, 3 the guard helmet and 6 a tie with the Inquisition symbol.
"Greetings Gue'la, I am your mediation advisor Por'la T'olku.It is my privilege to welcome you as a citizen of the Tau Empire and guide you to your proper place in the Tau'va."The blue skinned xeno bares her teeth, attempting a human smile.She slides some papers across the desk."This is your synchronization test. It will help us in determining your mediatory needs and your new occupation. We have copies available in High Gothic and Low Gothic.">"Very well, I'll do as you ask.">"I want to choose my own occupation.">"Foul xenos! What makes you think I'd have anything to do with you?"
>>5025676>"Foul xenos! What makes you think I'd have anything to do with you?"
>>5025676>"Very well, I'll do as you ask."We're not being held a gunsight? Why, she's nicer than any comissar we've ever had.
human can qield railguns wile tau can'tergo 'umies >tau
>>5025676>>"Foul xenos! What makes you think I'd have anything to do with you?"
>>5025676>"Foul xenos! What makes you think I'd have anything to do with you?! You don't even have massive knockers like the propaganda posters told me you would!"
>>5025676>>"Very well, I'll do as you ask."
Seems a bit pointless to fight now when we could be getting a better off position.
>"Foul xenos! What makes you think I'd have anything to do with you?! "The alien shrinks nervously. "You must not say such things! You will be given Demerits!" She leans forward and whispers in a grave tone "Humans with 10 demerits are sent to Enhanced Remediation."You glare at her. Stupid alien, with her blue skin and undersized boobs.She exhales a deep breath and hands you a pen. "It is not a fate I would wish on anyone. Please for you own sake, try to cooperate."You begrudgingly take the pen and pull up the paper. The questions pertain to your skills and attitudes towards Tau.Pick a skill>chem-use>tech-use>persuadeAttitude>tell 'em what you really think>give very neutral answers>write what you think they want to hear
>tech-use>give very neutral answersNo use in getting in a bad position, ye?
>>5025843>chem-useI guess?>give very neutral answersMight as well TRY to play along.maybe throw in a few hidden jabs
>>5025843Fuck, 1/10 reeducation camp points. But hey, threats, that's at least familiar. Should be oddly comforting for our guy to be honest.No "shooting" or "tank driving" or "trench digging"? Man, what did we even spent our time in the guard on, getting high?>chem-use>give very neutral answers>glare all the way through>plot our glorious return to the light of the emperor
How is chem use a skill? Sounds like just being a drug addict with a life expectancy smaller than 30
>>5025853He already has those skills, this is his *special* skill :^)
>>5025843Also, while we do the test>Ask about this "Enhanced Remediation"
>>5025855>How is chem use a skill?He can trick furfags into making mustard gas
>>5025843Ask her out on a date.
>>5025862Lewd! Also very Tsundere, since you just called her a foul xenos
>>50258551) Magos biologis of our regiment was a weirdly charitable and talkative guy, used us instead of servitor to run errands for him, so we picked up a thing or two about drug production?2) While entrenched helped a fellow ratling distribute shrooms through the regiment?I dunno man, those skills aren't very defined.Maybe tech-use is that tank/sentinel driving skill that I wanted
>>5025853Honestly fuck it, I switch to >tech-useWe are always polite to the machine spirits
>>5025843>tech-use>give very neutral answersFinally, we get threaten with execution or forced hard labor just for existing. Now it's starting to feel just like home.
>>5025843>>persuade>give very neutral answers
>>5025843>chem-useBattle drug time.>tell 'em what you really thinkNo need to lie to these foul xenos, for we are not a xeno ourselves.And put this next to the answers we give,1. A, so we can get into their base and blow it up2. A, that's what we deserve
>>5026111it's base*my bad.
>>5025843>>chem-use>tell 'em what you really think
>>5025843>persuade>tell 'em what you really think
>>5025843>tech-use>tell 'em what you really think
>>5026291And we'll talk our way out of it, or die trying
>>5026301Your weakness shows.
Honestly it seems like you people are TRYING to die.
>>5026304Well, in tau case not "die", just get sterilized and stuck in the labor camp
>>5026291(Dead)>>5026301 (Dead)what happened here?
>>5026379Eh. Nothing too important.
>>5026379I forgot to take off my nameThere was nothing important really, just shit talking other people choices
>>5026387ninjaed by 30 goddamn seconds
>>5025860Can we trick Inquisitors into making mustard gas?
>>5026681>Can we trick Inquisitors into making mustard gas?Sure, if you roll high enough you could even trick Plague Marines into making soap>neutral answer>tech-useYou fill out the form indifferently. No point antagonizing them just to suffer some twisted alien punishment.You'll comply for now, but stay true to the Emperor in your heart.Glowering at her you slide the paper back across the table."So what exactly is this 'Enhanced Remediation'" you ask.The Tau crumples up and goes quiet again. "...for the Greater Good, it is better that you do not know."She looks over your test and gets out a small PDA device."I thank you for answering honestly." She hands you the device."This is your Holocron, your identification and digital assistant. You must keep it on your person at all times."You take the device, on its screen it reads some of your personal information, 0 demerits and 0 merits.After you "mediation session" a Fire Warrior begins to escort you to your new residence.You sit on the Mag-Rail, watching the half renovated imperial ruins whoosh by.>talk to the fire warrior>talk to one of the human passengers>watch out the window
>>5026723>watch out the window
>>5026723>>watch out the window
>watch out the windowSo quickly the ruins of this once proud Imperial city have been rebuilt in the Tau's alien image.Though you do spot something interesting as you pass, and take mental note of its location.>An Honoured Imperium Statue>An Imperial Bastion>An Ethereal Caste building
>>5026760>An Imperial Bastion
>>5026760>An Imperial BastionTo be used in the future as we raise a revolt against the titless blueberry smurfs
>>5026760>>An Ethereal Caste building
>>5026764hey if you want to see those undersized blue titties you have to EARN it
>>5026767Maybe I want a doomer tomboy Krieg gf instead of an underwhelming blueberry smoothie, did you ever think about that?
>>5026723>0 demerits and 0 merits.Literal social score meter, cool>>5026760>An Ethereal Caste buildingLet's go look at tau glowiesSo we know where to bomb when the time comes
>>5026776>doomer tomboy Krieg gfI struggle to imagine what a doomer tomboy krieg gf who willingly lives under Tau occupation would be like
>>5026837Krieger in Tau occupation would probably solo-charged them and died horribly. So everyone woud get what they wanted
>>5026760>An Honoured Imperium StatueIs that comissar-cha over there?
>>5026760>An Honoured Imperium Statue
Rolled 2 (1d2)>An Imperial Bastion (3)>An Ethereal Caste building (3)Okay rollin, 1 for bastion, 2 for ethereal
The emblems of the five Tau castes are known to you and there's no mistaking the symbol of Tau royalty.This must be a palace of your new xenos overlords. A good place to park a Leman Russ.You day dream about overthrowing your new taskmasters in the emperors name and make a mental note of this location for future reference.
After your last stop on the Mag Rail the sun has gone down. The Fire Warrior directs you to a dwelling habitation (of Tau architecture) in one of the more wartorn, less refurbished parts of the city."This will be your new dwelling Gue'la. Hold your holocron to the electronic lock to open."Not responding to the alien, you hold up your cron to the lock opening it with *bleep* you step inside and close the door behind you.You look around your new residence. It's clean, and sparsely furnished the cabinet's full of Tau made clothing in your size. There is only one room....So this is your life now.>Visit a neighbour>Meddle with your Holocron>Explore outside
>>5027753>Visit a neighbourMight as well open with this, test the waters so to speak
>>5027753>Visit a neighbourSee if we're the only free-thinking citizen left on this weeb planet.
>Visit a neighbour
"What's up chief? Want some drugs?">Blech! Filthy Rat!>get drunk and shit-talk the tau>gamble and talk about the "good old days">get high as fuck
>>5027769>Ask him if he's going on an anti-Tau mission>Offer him aid if he is>Take his offer if he isn't
>>5027769>"Nah man, I haven't been into the hard stuff for a long time. You got any Lho-sticks though, they confiscated my pack before they sent me here.">gamble and talk about the "good old days"
>"Nah man, I haven't been into the hard stuff for a long time. You got any Lho-sticks though, they confiscated my pack before they sent me here."He whips out a narc tube from his coat and tosses it to you."You baseline boys should learn to confiscate it back. Helps ya live the good life under these fish-sticks.""Thanks for the tip. The name's Cas Vaede, 85th Tephrost Regiment.""No kidding? Wisby, Tephrost 8th Light Infantry."You end up smoking by the window of Wisby's room playing cards and swapping stories about the "good old days". Back when you had a clear purpose in life in service to the Emperor.You take comfort in confiding in him, even as he totally cheats and wins several "IOU 1 ration card" from you. You learn a bit about life under Tau, the Ratlings in particular are coping pretty well thanks to their theiving ways, the Tau haven't really caught on yet.Hours later as you thank him and leave, he gives you one last piece of advice: "Be careful who you trust, once you get those demerits the only real way to get 'em off is to squeal on your mates."...The following morning you are sitting on your bed wondering what to do.A Fire Warrior is supposed to meet you at your apartment in a few dai'kor and take you to your new occupation.>fuck the appointment, play hooky>wait for him>fake illness
>>5027856>wait for himBetter not stack uneccessary demerit points. We can at least be grumpy towards him when he shows up.
>>5027856>wait for himMight as well play along, wait until they trust us enough to leave us unattended before doing mischief.
>>5027856>wait for himNo point in being a layabout.
>>5027856>Wisby practices transmetropolitan-style triple smokingBased>wait for himOk guys, so do we do this rebellion thing? If so, how soon?
>>5027856>wait for himGet to know the system and wreck it by malicious compliance
>>5027856>fuck the appointment, play hooky
The Fire Warrior arrives punctually. It looks like the same one from last night, though it's hard to be sure.Without greeting you, he takes you on your commute. You ride the magrail into the heart of the city in uncomfortable silence.While riding the elevator to the Drone Factory he finally speaks."I wonder. Gue'la. How many Tau did you kill before your army was vanquished?"You ignore him, he's trying to make you mad. Get you to do something stupid.He continues: "I myself shot down dozens of humans. It was quite satisfactory.">Say nothing>"I've killed more humans than you, alien">"I mostly fought the Kroot you hid behind">"About 7 or 8, their blood was purple"
>>5028703>"I've killed more humans than you, alien"
>>5028703>"About 7 or 8, their blood was purple"
>>5028703>"I mostly fought the Kroot you hid behind"Mog him. I bet he can't even fight in GLORIOUS MELEEhow old is our dude? like 30?
>>5028732>Guardsman>30If lived enough to be 30, we'd be a fucking comissar.
>>5028733You don't get promoted that way, commisars are out of the chain of command.But I get your point. I dunno man, there isn't really "the univercial age of conscription" in 40k, maybe he was called in when he was 29.Let's just leave it betveen 20 and 35
>>5028703Say nothing, our words can only serve to incriminate us
>>5028703>Say nothingNot worth starting shit here.
cowards, lots of you
Though tempted to cut him down a notch, you ignore his bait, he gives up, though you can feel him seething.You emerge from the elevator on the 50-somethingth floor of this large alien factory.Relatively speaking of course, compared to a Hiveworld Manufactorum it's as a big as a tin shed."Wait here, your Fio'Ui supervisor will be here shortly.", the fire warrior descends down the elevator leaving you alone in some sort of entry area of the factory floor, surrounded by bizaare information panels and signs in incomprehensible Tau language.After a few minutes waiting no one shows up, you wander deeper into the facility and bump into another Tau."I am Fio'Ui Ka'mais, supervisor. Are you Gue'la Cas Vaede? You are 5 Rai'kor late.""What? I got here 10 minutes ago, that Fire Warrior told me to wait here.""I will not tolerate your excuses. I fine you 1 demerit for your lateness, and 1 additional demerit for shifting blame on an honourable member of the Fire Caste."Your holochron emits to sharp buzzing noises. Fuck.>"uhh... apologies, It's my first day following Tau'va">"this 'Greater Good' is getting worse by the dai'kor">"I thought the Shas was supposed to hand me off to you, shouldn't he *be* here."
>>5028784the only choice that doesn't involve getting demerits involves being a bitchfuck it>"this 'Greater Good' is getting worse by the dai'kor"I HATE THE BLUEFAGSI HATE THE BLUEFAGS
>>5028784>"this 'Greater Good' is getting worse by the dai'kor"Blueberries go to hell
>>5028784Just don't say anything and go on to do the job, it's fucking useless to lose demerits on something worthless instead of using them to cave in some blueberry's head.
>>5028793>>5028795I share the sentiment, but...>>5028796Supporting this.The Day of the Net is coming you fish-faced fucks.
>>5028784>"this 'Greater Good' is getting worse by the dai'kor"
>>5029484Quality meme. I have a (You) for your trouble.
>>5029484Good show, you've earned yourself a commendation.
Not wanting to receive further punishment you say nothing. At this point you feel it's best to not speak to them at all.The supervisor gives you a brief primer on your "valued labour" and what is expected of you. Before sending you off to work.It's fairly simple work. Most of the time you simply supervise some machinery on the Drone Assembly lines and occasionally getting signals to make adjustments.[Tech Use] You take to the work very easily. Quickly picking up how to do things correctly without error.One of your coworkers pipes up. "Fine deal we've got here ay? Beats living your entire life in the bowels of some piece of shit Manufactorum. Only 10 hours of labour a day, and you get the WHOLE day off every 5th day! Paradise.">"Shut up retard. I don't want to hear your heresy.">"I suppose it's at least better than Manufactorum work.">"Duty to the Emperor supersedes personal comfort."
>>5029614>>"Duty to mankind supersedes personal comfort."
>>5029614He's trying to get us to say something so he can snitch on us, but good point>Sure, it's good.Something we can't be held accountable for.
>>5029652shit, you might be right>"Be careful who you trust, once you get those demerits the only real way to get 'em off is to squeal on your mates."Or I'm getting paranoid and he's just happy that his living standarts got better. Still heresy tho
>>5029635>>"Duty to mankind supersedes personal comfort.">Stil, it's sure is good.
>>5029658Maybe he's happy, but chances are, if he's so happy, he's probably willing to snitch on us if we say anything bad.Way i see it, trying to keep being a hardass is useless. By the time the empire bothers to send a fleet against us we'll have turned to dust.
>>5029652+1He COULD also be looking for fellow loyalists, and is just filtering out any retards that reply "hell yeah dude high five" but we can't know that, so better be careful.
>>5029614>>"Shut up retard. I don't want to hear your heresy."
>>5029671>Needing a fleet to take the planet back to the light of the Emperor
You wonder about the man's motives. Is he trying to trick you? Or maybe he's playing 3D Warhammer and sizing you up as a potential rebel? Or maybe he's just happy his lot has improved.Not wanting to take any chances you give a mild response: "Sure, it's good."The man smiles. "The names Jokh just so you know, ooo! I'll give you my ID so you can call me on your 'chron."10 hours (or six and a half Decs, as your Holocron reckons time) of work later a chime signals. With some elation the human workers around you start shutting down their equipment and leaving the factory one by one.Fio'Ui Ka'mais, approaches you. "Your days labour is done, take these." He hands you some small tickets with Tau writing. "These are your ration cards, you will be given more at the end of the day every fourth day.""Where do I go now?" you ask. "That is your choice to make. As long as you do not violate the human curfew you may ride the Magrail where you will.">call someone on the Holochron>work overtime>go home
>>5029715>go homeWe'll probably get more sleep today than we did in our entire life in the guard.
>>5029715>>go homeLet's keep low profile until we know for sure how stuff work. Are we allowed to set up a workbench at home? If yes, should we work overtime for the ressources?
>>5029724>Are we allowed to set up a workbench at home?yeah but they wont give you any personal belongings except ration cards unless you have a high credit score
>>5029728Sigma grindest it will be.
>>5029715>Wander the cityhuman curfew, cool, proper racismDo we even have anyone to call on the holochron except the guy we just met?
>Do we even have anyone to call on the holochronall the characters with a name you've met so far are available
>>5029746Don't really have a reason to call them, but nice to know. I mean ratling was cool, but him we can just meet in person
Probably best to go home and rest for now. You have a lot to think about.Remembering the way well enough, you take the Magrail back to your habitation block.You exchange one of your ration cards for some meat tins and biscuits and head back to your room.Not long after, a door tone signals you have a visitor. Your Water Caste "Mediation Advisor" T'olku."Greetings Gue'la Cas, I hope you are well. I brought you a gift to commemorate your first day working for the Greater Good."She holds up a small potted flower.>"...thanks?">"I do not accept your gift.">Smash the pot on the floor
>>5029777>>"...thanks?"We have too much demerits for now, lay low before we can set our workbench.>Are we allowed to receive gift and own stuff?
>>5029777smashing it is kinda silly. not accepting it is less silly, just rude>"...thanks?" + autistic stareinb4 it's bugged lol
>>5029777>"...thanks?">>5029794Checking for bugs would be funny actually... just to make sure
>>5029795>start checking it for bugs in front of herLmao, rude
>>5029799We would check after she's gone of course.lmao
>Live in a commieblock for second class citizens>Work at a factory(probably even has suicide nets)>Keep the social score up>Contemplate the choice between having relative comfort and having purposeless dangerous than the ork run, but more depressing
>>5029777Thanks...? Do you get a flower for every one of your appointees?
>>5029818+Ask her if she wants to come inside
>>5029822>letting xenos into your roomcome on man, get some standarts
>>5029831The emperor didn't raise no rude guardmen
>>5029811more depressing for now, but wait until grind and self improve
>>5029777>>Smash the pot on her face
>>5029794Support.But also, be sure to thoroughly check the package for bugs after she leaves. Our tech knowledge may come in handy again here.
I don't think it's a bug. If the Tau wanted a bug, they'd put it in our home. They built it, after all.I think she's just being nice.
>>5030315Of course there is no bug lol. She's trying to be nice (part of her job probably)Bug is memeing about our anti-xeno paranoia
>>5030315Note to self: Scour Hab for planted Tau surveillance equipment.
"...thanks?" you give her an autistic stare, "Do you get a flower for every one of your appointees?""You are my very first appointee! I want to do my best for Tau'va."She hands off the pot to you. And continues."I am sorry to hear there was a misunderstanding between you and Shas'la Tash today. I made an appeal and your transgression was reduced to 1 demerit."Nonplussed, you say nothing and wonder what her alien ulterior motives could possibly be."Hmm I can see that you are tired. I will see you on your Aun'Rotaa* for our first Tau language lesson. Until then, call me on your Holochron if you feel lost."You watch her disappear into the elevator and close the door. A flower? How odd. You wonder if it might be BUGGED. Come to think of it, there could be a tracking device *anywhere* in this room.Setting aside your (((Tau Holochron))), you closely examine all your furniture and sift through the flowerpot's soil but find nothing. Well, looks like the coast is clear for now.With no orders to follow, now is a perfect time to sharpen your skills.>Excercise>Study Tau language>Explore the hab block*Your "day off" every 5th day
>>5030566>Study Tau language
>>5030566> ExerciseIdleness Breeds Heresy.We must cultivate physical and mental strength if we intend to retake this world in His name.
>>5030566>ExcerciseIF WE ARE WEAK THEN WE CANNOT PUNCH TAU INTO PULP, WORKOUT MONTAGE FOR THE EMPEROR!
>>5030566>Study Tau languageThe faster we know it, the sooner Aun'Rotaa will be for our only needs. Like grinding.
>>5030566>ExcerciseGotta get buff
Looking around for a place to excercise you find there are stairs that go lower than the "bottom" of the elevator.Stepping through a jammed autodoor down the stairs you find your self in the first basement level. It's Imperial, looks like they built their habitation block right on top of the ruins of a human one.There's no electricity, and no windows leaving the dusty corridors dark and grim. You almost think you can see shadowy figures lurking just at edge of visibility... Anyway, time to hit the gym!You find a relatively large room, stripped of all its furniture leaving just random bits of loose bricks, debris, and plenty of space. There's even some metal pipes sticking out of the wall making for great pullup bars.Under the dim glow of your Holochron's flash light you hone your body's strength for the day of the net. It's a fairly decent location, you should lock it down.>Tag the gym with a discarded spray can>Hide the entrance with an old rag of fabric>Look around for better locations (Dice Roll)
>>5030667>>Tag the gym with a discarded spray can>"For the greater good, this location has now been reassigned as a training facility. A trained human is more healthy, thus less sick, thus more productive for the society"This should be enough to cover our asses, while we are in fact training for our convictions.
>>5030667> Hide the entrance with an old rag of fabricA temporary measure.I'm sure we can improvise a more elaborate form of concealment later, fix up the autodoor or something. These xenos seem idiotically accommodating so perhaps a bunch of wet floor signs would suffice.Additionally, whether or not we end up using this space, it wouldn't hurt to properly explore it's layout. See if there are any alternate entrances that weren't completely buried or blocked by rubble. There also may be scraps of useful imperial tech littered amidst the wreckage that slipped beneath the fish tacos' notice. We'll never know unless we look.
>>5030667>leaving the dusty corridors dark and grimKek>Look around for better locations (Dice Roll)I have a gambling addiction
>>5030566>"I am sorry to hear there was a misunderstanding between you and Shas'la Tash today. I made an appeal and your transgression was reduced to 1 demerit."Stop being nice, xeno, you are confusing me.Also the bug is in the holochron, which makes sense. Don't think we can do anything about it
>>5030674Nice>Get caught excercising>"The wall said I could, sir"
>>5030743>>Get caught excercisingI don't think we are prohibited from getting swole. Blue dude said do whatever, just don't violate the human curfew
>>5030745These jerks are always looking for an excuse to give us demerits. They'll probably accuse us of bulking up in order to sabotage them somehow.
Yep, hopefully this graffiti will hold up in court.Better get back to your apartment, it's back to the Drone Factory tomorrow and you wouldn't want to be late...
(I'm done for tonight and I don't think I'll be updating the quest on weeknights this time. I'll continue the quest next weekend. Thanks for joining me and cya later)
>>5030773tg is fucking dead so thread still gonna be up by then
>>5030773see U then QM!
>>5030770Maybe we'll even get merits out of it, who knows?
"Yep, nothing like running an invection test on a Shield Drone's Pulse Wave fragmentor. For the Greater Good, as they say."You give your coworker a slight nod. Jokh gets upset when anyone criticizes your Tau overlords, and you prefer to keep a low profile.He bumps you with his elbow, almost causing you to drop the jetgrav descrambler you were carefully rerouting."So Cassy, what have you got planned for your Aun'Rotaa tomorrow?>Make up something benign>"I have no idea.">"Training."
>>5035753>Make up something benignFuck you Jokh
>>5035753>Make up something benign.I'm not trying to get roped into whatever Jokh suggests.
>>5035753> Make up something benignTraitors are perhaps the one of the few things more despicable than the odious xenos.
You haven't really decide yet, and "Training to overthrow the government" seems like a bad answer. You try to think up an excuse."Nothing much. Maybe just study at home after my language lesson with Tolku.""Oooh yes study! I didn't even know how to read and write Low Gothic when the Tau first came. I like going to school on my Aun'Rotaa, they even give you merits!"You spot the supervisor Fio'Ui Ka'mais coming your way and look busy. The Tau speaks out to all the workers on the floor."Attention human Fio'la. I require a volunteer to realign the Grav-Drone mass poloriser."Your fellow humans avoid eye-contact and shuffle their feet. Obviously a highly undesirable task.>Volunteer yourself>Volunteer Jokh>Keep your head down
>>5035782>>Volunteer yourselfWe gotta get those demerits gone.
>>5035782>Volunteer yourselfCan't be THAT bad.right?
>>5035782>Volunteer yourselfIt's like middle school all over again.
>>5035782>Volunteer yourselfWhat's the worst thing that could happen.
You step forward. "I'll do it, I guess""Excellent, Gue'la Cas. I award you 1 merit for your diligence."Your holochron peeps. 1 Demerit - 1 Merit? They are separate scores? Damned xenos.Ka'mais leads you to some huge alien contraption with a halted assembly line of drones leading into it.It turns out "realigning the mass poloriser" involves being shut INSIDE the machine and fixing some damaged instruments.The second you do the machine activiates, rapidly discombobulating gravity in its interior causing you disorienting nausea.You exit the device and lean on the wall still dizzy.The Earth Caste studies you, "Are you well Cas Vaede? Having your mass polorized can be quite unsettling.""I'm completely gutted here." You cringe as your stomach makes a low gurgling noise.He flips out his Holochron. "I am ending your workday early so you may see a doctor. I will update your device with the location and permission ticket."Sweet, you're off the leash for now. Though the vertigo is unpleasant.>Go to the doctor>Go to the pub>Go home
>>5035782> Volunteer yourselfWe're tech specialists.How bad could this possibly go?
>>5035828>Go to the doctor
>>5035828>Go homeJust walk it off.Besides do you *really* want filthy, xeno-made microchips getting injected into your bloodstream?
>>5035828>Go to the doctorYeah, no, i'd rather keep my non-imperium life expectancy. And the Tau, i think, can't use their pheromones on us so it should be all good.
>>5035828>Go homeDamn, should've faked our own death and started working from the shadows.Welp, now is when the scheming phase begins. >>5035841>xeno-made microchipsgood point also
>>5035828>Go to the doctorMight as well. And hey, being familiar with a doctor could come in handy right?
>>5035828>Go to the doctorI'm imagining blowing off going to the doctor would end up like this:>blow off going to doctor>go home instead>nausea intensifies>have to take day off from work>"Gue'la did you visit the doctor yesterday?">"...no">+1 Demerit has been deposited in your account.
Oh shit, it's back
>>5035856>Welp, now is when the scheming phase begins.Ok, i understand we don't want to live under xenos but...How the hell do you plan on doing anything? The Empire sure as hell isn't coming, not within our lifetime. They probably lose more worlds due to administratrum forgetting they exist in a single year. If they ever do come back, it won't be within our lifetime, and even then, they're probably just going to murder everyone on the planet for 'consorting with xenos' or some dumb grimdark retardation.
You're not so sure about alien "doctors" but its better to be safe."Take these tablets, ingest one now and the others every 2 Dec. Do not consume any narcotics for 1 Rotaa."The Fio'Vre doctor hands you a small plastic box containing some pills.You study them with suspicion, "I see, and when will the vertigo subside?""You will recover by tomorrow, IF you follow instructions."Popping the first pill eases your nausea, although it makes you feel a bit mentally sluggish. Unmotivated.>Swipe some meds>Ask for painkillers>Ask about human medics
>>5035887>The Empire sure as hell isn't comingthey might be. Also we could teoretically check if there are any astropaths left on the planet to call themwe could play a "last man to stay true to the Emperor", why not>they're probably just going to murder everyone on the planet for 'consorting with xenos' or some dumb grimdark retardationEh, that depends on who's coming. Black templar? everybody dies. Some guardsmen? we could reach an understanding. Also you could always hedcanon for less retardation
>>5035898>Ask about human medicsWell, i don't think that they're making us sluggish on purpose - there's no reason why the T'au would WANT a worker unmotivated.
>>5035901>they might be.Probably not. The Empire don't attack the Tau because they specifically don't care about a bunch of unimportant worlds when they have much more pressing matters to deal with. You know, Chaos, Necrons, Tyranids, Orks...Way i see it we should be trying to get a ticket to one of those comfier Gue'vesa communities where it's basically just humans farming and using tau equipment.
>>5035898Ask about human medics
>>5035898>Ask about human medicsImagine popping the pill before doing this. Smh.>>5035887>How the hell do you plan on doing anything?Nuke the whole planet. We'll get there...>>5035902You have been awarded 20 merits for saying that.
>>5035898>Ask about human medics>makes you feel a bit mentally sluggish. Unmotivated.welp, we took the jab>>5035902+1 merit, gue'la
>>5035907>You have been awarded 20 merits for saying that.Come on, it makes no sense. Wouldn't they WANT us to be all happy-joypy-loyal?
>>5035898>Ask about human medicsMEEEEDIIIIIC
"Imperial guard medics are poorly trained by Tau standards, though through reeducation they make acceptable nurses. I have 1 gue Fio'la assistant working in this clinic."You ponder asking to meet them, but have no good reason, instead you ask "So there aren't any, you know... clinics for humans, staffed by humans?"The doctor gives you a grim stare."Certainly not, practicing medicine unsupervised is a serious crime and there are no humans above the rank of Ui in this Sept at this time.""Right..."You find yourself lying on your bed staring bored at the ceiling.Better force yourself to do something.>Return to the basement area>Hang with Wisby>Explore the city before curfew
>>5035925>Explore the city before curfew
ok I go to bed now
>>5035925>Stay in bed, pretend we died>>5035911You don't get obedience out of healthy and happy slaves. It's more efficient to strip them from energy to fight (numb doesn't mean they won't go to work if forced to) or outright reduce them to hungry animals, like North Korea does.
>>5035961>You don't get obedience out of healthy and happy slaves.Considering how our buddy there is acting, i don't know.> It's more efficient to strip them from energy to fight Wouldn't that fuck them up? He didn't just feel tired, but mentally slow too. You wouldn't want a mentally slow worker, lest they fuck up.
>>5035968>Wouldn't that fuck them up?>You wouldn't want a mentally slow worker, lest they fuck up.They are retarded amd treat us all as expendables. Remember that we're here because they locked us in a fucking laundry machine and then started it with us inside.
>>5035992>Remember that we're here because they locked us in a fucking laundry machine and then started it with us inside.Eh, it's more so that it wasn't working, and the moment it started working it went back to doing it's thing. Expendable in general, but not so much retarded as to waste workers by purposefully making them retarded.
>>5035925>Hang with WisbyAsk him about the tau meds and shitAsk him what he plans to do with his weekendAsk him if he knows some cool people or places to hang out>practicing medicine unsupervised is a serious crimewell fuck. This greater good thing is getting worse by the hour>>5035940sleep well, QM
Are we actually sterile?
>>5036106pretty sure it's just a running meme about tau implied methods of xeno population controlno clue where it originated from, DoW maybe?
>>5036120Maybe T'olku will help us with our fertility issues...
>>5029614those are some lax labour standards for a dystopic caste-based empire
>>5036132I didn't mean that in a sexual way, I meant like literally help us
Come on anon, don't stuck your dick in a xeno
>>5036226but he's her first Gue'la...
>>5036226Fuck you, if Rumblent Gormilladan gets to have a xeno gf, so do we.
>>5035925> Explore the city before curfew
>>5036384>"This is not fucking canon!"Shit's hilarious, they only talked once
>>5036106>Are we actually sterile?no, just a Dark Crusade reference>>5036134AHAHAHA nice ID Gue>those are some lax labour standards for a dystopic caste-based empirewriting life in a Tau sept is a balancing act, I don't want it to be TOO grimdark or not enough. A 56 hour work week and a "day off" where the government can schedule whatever they want like mandatory language lessons seemed level
In the center of the city is "Unity Square", the most developed and wealthy area. You live on the outskirts, where there's still some trace Imperial structures that have been refurbished. Beyond that lie war torn ruins, you're not supposed to leave "the city" but it's not like there's a border wall to stop you. With those pills, your nausea is fading pretty fast.>Explore the ruins>Find somewhere nice nearby your residence>Look for a place that distributes equipment
>>5036572>Find somewhere nice nearby your residenceThe Tau have some really advanced technology, better not risk something we don't know.
>>5036572>Find somewhere nice nearby your residencei do not wish for us to get squashed by a falling support beam or whatever the fuck happens when you explore a ruin without any knowledge of teh are
>>5036650*of the areagod i'm tired
>>5036572>Find somewhere nice nearby your residence
You find a nice garden nearby your Hab block.A nice patch of mossy tiles in a 25 square meter area, surrounded by alien plants trees blocking the view of the surrounding Tau buildings at eye level.A small damaged statue of some Imperial Officer has been placed on a dais in the middle. There's only 1 other human here, there isn't a trace of Tau in this tiny Emporer blessed patch of land.A woman sitting on a bench speaks out to you. "Nice place huh? No blue skinned freaks, and no surveillance.">Just chill with her>Size her up for rebellion material>Surveillance?
>>5036735She speaks too freely and trusts too openly. Don't tell her anything. >Just chill with her
>>5036735>Surveillance?Well we're literally wearing an imperial guard helmet unless if that's just there to show that's us so makes sense that she'd feel it's alright to call the tau blue skinned freaks, I think she should be trustworthy.
>>5036735> Surveillance?Play it cool and milk her for information.
>>5036735>>Just chill with herits chill 2 chill
>>5036735>and no surveillanceHow would she know?
"What do you mean no surveillance?""Well, Mr Guardsman sir. Every Tau building and vehicle has cameras, and every door or transport you open with your 'chron logs your entry. Far off places like this have surveillance drones patrolling around to check on areas that have no camera.""What's stopping a drone from coming here?""The plants here are dense and tall enough to stop any drones from seeing as they go past. I've never seen one come close and As far as I know they can't hear anything far away.""Hmm. Good to know.""Course, if you want to go somewhere *really* clandestine, there are still some underground imperial ruins that haven't collapsed. I could show you, if you like.">"Sorry, I can't trust you.">"I already know of some underground space.">"Sure, show me"
>>5036807>"Sure, show me"
>>5036807>"Sorry, I can't trust you."maybe some other time, make sure to get her holocron number though
"Sorry, I can't trust you."She tilts her head and gives a smug smile."Afraid I might bite?""I'd be happy to exchange holochron numbers If you like.""Sure, hand over your 'chron."She types in her details, and returns the device. It reads "Maiya"The woman walks away without asking your own number leaving contact entirely in your hands.Later you find yourself, lying on your bed after another session alone in your dark gymnasium. You should really find some sort of lantern tomorrow.>pray to the Emperor>dream of the past>plan sedition
>>5036840>pray to the EmperorIf we stop our prayers then we will start to fall into HERESY!
>pray to the Emperor
>>5036840>pray to the Emperor
(ok I think I'm done for tonight, might continue the quest next weekend or swap to an update-once-a-day kinda schedule, idk what I wanna do. Cheers lads)
>>5036840>Pray to the EmperorAs long as the Emperor is beside us we can never fail, as long as we do not step from His light we can never truly die.
>>5036861Thanks for the run mate was fun.
>>5036861One update per day would be cool.
>Just get told that there are cameras everywhere>Choose to pray to the EmperorVery smart
>>5036840>Pray to the Emperor
>>5036875Tau allow for religious freedom iirc
>>5036840>>pray to the Emperor>>5036895do they allow for Imperial churches to be built? Sounds like breeding grounds for future rebels
>>5036933I mean you do need to drop "kill xenos" part if you want to praise Empy
>>5036979the Imperial Cult is a religion of peace
>>5037044Craftworld of Pieces
>inb4 that girl is an actual resistance recruiter>A bunch of die-hard xeno haters and /k/ enthusiasts went innawoods right after the fall of the planet>It's fucking XCOM 2 all over again
>>5038584I'd rather we actually get something done rather than commit suicide by pulse rifle
>>5036840>>pray to the Emperor
>pray to the Emperor>pray to the Emperor>pray to the Emperor>pray to the Emperor>pray to the EmperorYes, what else CAN a man do in these trying times? You have been robbed of your destiny to die for the Emperor, but perhaps you can still follow his will. For now the best you can do is pray.Love the Emperorfor He is the salvation of mankindObey His wordsfor He will lead you into the light of the futureHeed His wisdomfor He will protect you from evilWhisper His prayers with devotion,for they will save your soulHonour His servants,for they speak in His voiceTremble before His majesty,for we all walk in His immortal shadowAs the last of the malaise from the alien medicine fades from your mind, you know in your soul: his light will reveal itself soon enough.[You have gained the ability to cheat death from a failed roll, once]
The following day you find yourself attending your mandatory language and cultural enrichment seminar."Excellent work, now read this one out." Tolku points at a word written in the Tau language, glowing on a wall monitor.You squint at the familiar characters. "Gue'ron'sha - It means Space Marine.""Well done, Gue'la Cas! And this one?""Kor'vesa - Drone.""It also means 'faithful helper'! I suppose your honest work at the factory makes you a Kor'vesa!"You balk at your teacher's "compliment". At least this is better than working the drone factory.>"Teach me to say X in Tau">Distract her from the lesson with questions>Pretend to have a bellyache
>>5039444>>"Teach me to say "My teacher is nice and help me reach the greater good" in Tau"
>>5039444>"Teach me to say "nigger" in Tau"
>>5039140>get something doneLike what? Farm social credit?
>>5039444>cultural enrichment seminarI just love the language you use, QM.Also we just got called a drone. The worst part is, it was probably a honest compliment. Fucking tau, I swear the emperor>Distract her from the lesson with questionsAsk if any humans had trouble with their integration in the greater good
>>5039446>>5039491>The duality of man>>5039515support
>>5039518Imagine not wanting to be able to say "nigger" in tau. Couldn't be me.
>>5039444is she being snide or is that a genuine fucking complement?also this >>5039515, and ask what the Greater Good even means
>>5039446How about just>Teach me to say, "Thank you for helping me get accomodated" in Tau?It's still thanking her for being nice, but without the whole 'muh greater good' thing. >>5039619>is that a genuine fucking complement?It's a genuine compliment, i'm pretty much certain. That's just how the Tau are, and since she's been nothing but kind to us since we've arrived, i have little belief to
>>5039648Little reason to believe she's being snide*She's nice, is all. Cute blueberry 10/10, would give sanction to.
>>5039444>>5039446Support, gotta farm them merits man.
>>5039676Bro, what can we even do with them? Probably should ask blueberry that too
>>5039879Well besides make the tau less suspicious of us and drawing less scrutiny towards what we do, not sure.
>>5039443> Gain the ability to cheat death once> Just from performing prayer and holding genuine faithYa-know, I was about to comment on how OP this blessing is, but after accounting for perpetual meatgrinder of fatal incidents that is your average imperial guardsman's life, I can see how it might be considered woefully insufficient.All the same, thanks for the buffs Big E.>>5039515> SupportDo your best to avoid looking like a potential insurgent pumping her for information while delivering these queries.
>>5039446She deserves it
>>5039446Supportan >ate Tau>luv me Tau girlsSimple as
>>5040248Part of the SigmaGrindMindset would be dating her. If we can, I think we won the thread. Like, getting some fine piece of Tau, getting back in military, fight stuff that's not our empire, win for the Tau as we are parts of the "greater good", win for the empire as we can fight some of its menace.
>>5040248Listen 'ere, thuriuls'ow can i be a xenophobicalist if i luved nkrutu like me own son when 'e scored that belter for unit fc?that what i thought-cas from the local
>>5039444Ask her how to say interspecies couple
>>5040330Do Tau even have marriages?
you have a blueberry hold anon's hand and they are ready to betray mankindwait, I've seen this plot before
>>5040431Way i see it, Tau are more human than the bloated bags of fat that rule the imperium's worlds. Sure people like Roboute are cool, but there's an astronomically small chance he'll be within a thousand light years of you in the first place.We can't betray humanity any more than humanity's already betrayed itself. It's all horrible anyway,
>>5040437eh, it's not like our dude knows that
>>5040479You're right, he doesn't know Roboute is alive.Point is, the Emperor is cool and all, but the Empire wants to kill us more than the Tau do. If they come here, they're going to kill us all because we "consorted with xenos" or get blown up because inquisitor dickbag felt like it.
>>5040437It always start with the lack of fate, with doubt. With YOUR help they will get stronger. They will conquer other worlds of the imperium beacuse of you.Just beacuse they not whipping your ass, you think they are better?You can make a donkey move with both a carrot and a whip, but the donkey will always stay a donkey....Besides we are quardsmen. We shed blood and xenos bodyfluids in his name. We will not have some skinny weak alien filth who killed our comrades have their ways with us.Never. Give. In.For the Emperor!
>>5040494>They will conquer other worlds of the imperium beacuse of you.The Empire is already blowing them up anyways. Better the Tau than a Choas Cult, which are almost inevitable in the hellish nightamare of the empire.>Just beacuse they not whipping your ass, you think they are better?I think they're better because they're not eating children and burning millions because it makes them hard. And the worst part is, you can't tell if i'm talking about chaos or an imperial governor.At least here with the Tau humanity lives, instead of being murdered by a trigger-happy overgrown bag of meat who's killed more imperials than enemies.
>>5040504this guy really do be farming them merits
>>5040571better than farming corpse starch
>>5040504+1 meritenjoy your good boy point gue
>"Teach me to say X in Tau""Teach me to say 'My teacher is nice and help me reach the greater good' ""That would be 'Il shovah chi mes ves karra Ko'vash che Tau'va' It gladdens me to see you so enthused about your studies. I give you 1 merit. (My Por'Ui says I can only give 1 a day)"You flip out your 'chron, it reads: 1 demerit - 2 merits. "Hey thanks shovah. Say... can you teach me to say 'nigger'?"She scratches her rose alien hair, "Nig'ger? I am not familiar with this term. What does it mean?"You lean over and whisper a description into her ear, pinning open her red eyes."I do not think this is a polite word Cas Vaede!""c'mon teach me. For the greater good."She looks over her shoulder, and leans in with one hand to the side of her mouth "It's Jo'nah."You smile childishly. "Nice. One more question: how do you say 'interspecies couple'?"A lightning bolt goes down her spine. "Huh!? Do not ask me such ridiculous questions Gue'la Cas! You are making me Fu'llasso!"After she eventually calms down you finish the lesson and leave the school. You have the rest of the day to do whatever you want, a privilege you normally only ever experienced when stationed at some boring outpost in the middle of nowhere.>Spend time with X>Go to location X>Explore the city
Oh god, QM just went for every option
>>5041132>Explore the city>actually agreed to teach us "nigger"This tells us a lot about her personality. Was totally my reason for asking about this particular word all along.
>>5041150>This tells us a lot about her personality.Yeah, that she is weak to pressure and can be abused. Ok real talk don't abuse the blueberry, she might be an affront to the emperor, but she's helpful
>>5041132>Spend time with MaiyaCall her. Ask what's up
>>5041132Ask omicron what Fu'llasso means
>>5041132>Spend time with MaiyaWhy not?>>5041150Ah, you were playing 9D Backgammon the whole time, forgive me for ever doubting you Anon
>>5041183I forgive you.Time to call everyone we see a Jehovah and collect more data.
>>5041132>Go to the gym. Invite Maïa. Keep fixing stuff and find a way to put on lights.Next time, we'll ask about demerits and interspecies couples again, maybe there is some cultural things we don't have yet.
>>5041132Tolku is CUTE!!!!CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, i suppose meeting Maiya might be a good idea. She's a human, and doesn't seem to be completely hopeless.
>>5041178Fu'llasso is 'cursed mind knot', Which means either 'Political mess' or 'Overly Complicated Situation'.I'm thinking she means the latter.
>>5041183> SupportDon't show her where we live, or our gym. We cannot be sure she's trustworthy.Instead, set up a meeting in that stretch of supposedly unmonitored woodlands. Try to figure out what her deal is.
>>5041333Showing her the unmonitored space is not a good idea.> Meet up with our ratling friend.We need a lot of info abaut how are things going:-Can he take us for a "tour" around the neighbourhood?-Abaut Tau medicine (is it safe,is it good,are there a black market for alternatives),-Abaut the ruins below ( are there any safe passages undergound? Are there people who live undergound? Are there any "unofficial" traders in the region?)-Abaut merits and demerits (how does the point system works),
>>5041132>Spend time with our ratling friend, he pretty cool.
>>5041385???Maiya is the strange human woman that we met in the unmonitored space, not the xeno thot.Get your head in the game anon.
[Okay looks like 5 for Maiya and 3 for Wisby.]You call up Maiya, it will be good to spend time with one who so clearly rejects the xenos propaganda. Still, just to be sure you decide not to invite her to your place.She gives you directions to a room in some unrefurbished administratum building on the edge of the city limits.Maiya reclines in what must of once been some Imperial official's sofa "So, Mr Guardsman. How do you like my den?""It's comfy." you say putting your feet up on some sort of Tau coffee table, "You live here?""No, it's just a club house for me and my mates. We fixed this place up and hauled in all the furniture.""Where'd you get this all this stuff?""We bought it from other humans: scavengers haul stuff from the ruins, buttkissers farm merits to request Tau amenities, and the ratlings steal shit. Recaf?" She pours herself a tall cup of the hot beverage and drops in 2 pharamoxine pills."Sure, no pills though."She pours you a cup and as you settle in she asks "So Cas, how do you feel about life under Tau rule?">Deflect the question>"I want to burn this damned xenos city to the ground.">"It is... not as terrible as I once thought.">"I just want to return the Imperium."
>>5041924>"I just want to return the Imperium."That is our goal...right?
>>5041773You are right, I started taking notes of the names and roles...-Wisby: ratling, thief, trust questionable-Maia: human female, possible resistance fighter(?),trust questionable-Tolku: Tau , trust questionable(probably cannot be trusted)-Jokh: human male, worker, brainwashed/ heressy by serving tau, not to be trusted (maybe used some other way)
>>5041924>"I just want to return the Imperium.">>5041976We could try to topple the Tau here, but unless they have some sort of Death Star style weakness that we can exploit, leaving is the more realistic goal. Unless we are okay with staying and slowly undermining them from the inside or something along those lines.
>>5041924>>"It is... not as terrible as I once thought.">>"I just want to return the Imperium. I know it's undoable, but maybe we can still serve humanity by helping the Taus against other Imperium ennemies. Orcs, Tyrannids and other messed up stuff. Taus are not that bad when pitted against atrocities"
>>5041924>"It is... not as terrible as I once thought."Let's be realistic here, the Tau are fucking angels compared to the Imperial Nobility. Tolku is really nice, too, nicer than any superior we could have had.I mean, here we're an actual second-class citizen instead of a miserable slave. Of course i'm not fan of the social credits and that stuff, but it's better than being whipped to death.
>>5041924>>"It is... not as terrible as I once thought."better than Chaos or Deldar at least>I just want to return to the Imperium.
>>5041924> "I want to burn this damned xenos city to the ground."This new administration, rife with subversive intermingling between mankind and xeno is an affront to the values enshrined in our great imperium, to everything we've ever fought for, to every guardsmen who perished attempting to repel the initial invasion of the abominable Tau. It is not enough to escape this corruption, this 'greater good'. We must tear it out at the root and eradicate it until not a trace remains.
>>5041924"I want to burn this damned xenos city to the ground."
>>5042473>>5042478t.Will be killed by the empire for not dying fast enough
>>5042473>>5042478easy retards, we still aren't absolutely sure she isn't an informant
>>5042485Sycophant.>>5042486A fine point. I'll amend my vote to say that we think this (>>5042473) but say this (>>5041995).
>>5042494>Sycophant.I'm not the one who wants to get executed by an comissar because we didn't reconquer an inbred noble's planet fast enough.
>>504251590% of the Imperium's worlds are fairly normal all things considered.
>>5042515Pfft.Go farm some more goodboy points, you meek berryslurper.That's all you're truly good for.
>>5042520I think they changed that. Instead of agriworlds being fairly docile, normal places they're banana republic hell where you work until you die and the air is poison because of the sheer amount of chemicals they use.Either way, i don't want to return to being a literal slave under some "Noble" blob of meat that's less human than a Kroot. That's if we don't get killed for knowing too much or consorting with xenos.Fuck, maybe they'll just exterminatus the planet because they don't feel like conquering it.
>>5042523one Water Caste bitch giving him a crumb of attention and he immediately folds. Weak.
>>5042524>Nobles are shit but Ethereals personality cults are perfectly fine
>>5042523Don't you have a comissar's chainsword to deepthroat or something? It's what you seem to want, after all.
>>5042528Better a Stalin than a Caligula.
>>5042533you stupid fucking jo'nah. All the Imps care about is praising the Emprah and tithes, the blueberries actually want your unwavering commitment forever and will micromanage every aspect of your lives.
>>5042592>is praising the Emprah and tithesTo the empire "praising the emprah" means happily throwing yourself into their soul grinder both metaphorically and literally.And what do you think we are, a governor? We're a normie. A guardsman. This means we are under the wills and commands of either an insane general who sees us as worth less than a grain of rice or an inbred highborn who eats babies and hunts people for sport.If they feel like it, they can and will enslave kill or torture us for the most stupid inane reasons. They will blow up our entire planet if doing so is more convenient than invading it, and they will kill us if they feel like it even if we overthrow the tau because we know too muchTell me even a SINGLE thing that the empire gives. It just takes, takes and takes - it clearly doesnt care enough to save us after all.>Inb4 muh emprahThe Tau kill less humans than the empire and threat them better too.
unpaid tau shill lmao
>>5041924>>"It is... not as terrible as I once thought, I'm still waiting for the catch. Still want to return to the Imperium though."
>>5041924>>"I just want to return the Imperium."
begone 1 merit army shill
>>5042874>>5043007Can you actually prove me wrong?
>>5043064>proof>opposite of faithSounds heretical.
>>5043090We believe in the emperor, not Highborn Noble Blobbius Sodomus the 600 kilogram cannibal
"It is... not as terrible as I once thought, but regardless. I just want to return to the Imperium, even though I know it's impossible."Maiya smiles smugly, "Nothing impossible about it Cas. You underestimate the power of human desire."You eye her suspiciously, "You think it's possible!? How could you know that?"She makes you wait for her answer by taking nice long sip, and says "Poor little guardsman, don't they tell you anything at all? The Imperial Guard ditched *this* planet but they are still fighting on other worlds in the subsector. In my last days as an Administratum Adept I handled hundreds of documents regarding troop and munition shipments to Eyrion IV, Tephrost, and Magnan Minoris."You sit up in shock, you assumed the entire subsector had been abandoned to the encroaching tide of xenos. "So there is still hope! If I find a way off this world I could rejoin the fight.""You could, if you REALLY wanted it. But do you? Life in the Guard is so bleak and dreadful, and there may be other paths open to you. They abandoned you. There is no Commissar's Pistol to the back of your head. You should be asking: 'what does Cas Vaede want?'">"It is my duty to the Emperor. Nothing else matters.">"I don't know, what I want.">"What 'other paths'?"
>>5043146>"What 'other paths'?"Knowing the guard, they would kill us for being an "possible xeno spy"
>>5043092and the Emperor believes in the Imperium.>>5043146>"What 'other paths'?"
>>5043199>and the Emperor believes in the Imperium.The Emperor doesn't believe anything nowadays other than that he needs to fix the galaxy. We KNOW he would hate the modern imperium and their insane murder-addicted cults and degenerate nobility.The way i see it, while the imperium is the only hope for the galaxy at large because they're the only real enemies of Chaos, as an individual Guardsman, our life is worth less than our content in meat they can turn into rations. We are worth literally nothing; We will affect nothing because we're an random normie guardsman, not an space marine or comissar or general. If we try to get to the imperium, they'll kill us for being a spy, if the imperium comes to us, they'll at best enslave us and at worst exterminatus the planet.Tell me literally a single thing we benefit from the empire. We wouldn't be serving the emperor, we wouldn't be fighting choas...so what benefit does it bring?
>>5043146>"What 'other paths'?"
>>5043208the Emperor is not the God-Emperor. The Emperor that got thrown on the throne is not the same thing as the being that exists in 40k
>>5043238I fail to see how that changes anything. It's still a hellish nightmarish bureaucracy that has killed (and still kill) more innocent humans than the Tau could ever hope to do.
>>5043240The Tau have the luxury of not having to deal with the gorillion problems humans do. A mild by Imperium standards Death Guard incursion BTFO them thoroughly.
>>5043244>Bro those chaos cultists forced me to become a cannibal! If i don't enslave that village to get their wine humanity will literally die!
>>5043146> "It is my duty to the Emperor. Nothing else matters. I wouldn't expect a clerk of the Administratum to fully understand."
>>5043146>"I don't know, what I want."
>>5043821>Saw xenos actually beat the imperium>Saw xenos not being all that bad afterwards>Still prays to the Emperor, but also fraternizes with the blue waifu>Given an actual choice, probably first time in his life That's gotta be a hell of a trip.
>>5043146>"It is my duty to the Emperor. I am a guardsman. I swore to protect the imperium from the heretics and xenos. On second tought, I don't want to leave this planet... Gather as much intel,and prepare for sabotage for when the imperium returns make their work easier.By the way what do YOU want to do?"
>>5043146>It is my duty to the Emperor. Nothing else matters.It leads back to the Emperor
>>5043146>It is my duty to the Emperor. Nothing else matters.
You suddenly take pause, you've never truly been in this position before. Never had to ask 'what should I do, what do I want to do?'You simply say "I don't know what I want."Maiya gets up off her couch and gives you a gentle hug. "Don't worry Cas, your heart is secretly brimming with passion. Just waiting to be unleashed. When your deepest desires reveal themselves, just embrace them."You hold her for a moment, imagining entire worlds of possibility.She releases you and says "Whatever you decide, I think I might be able to help you. Those munition shipments I mentioned? Not all of them made it off planet. But I think I've given you enough to think about for now. Keep in touch."You hurry home before the night curfew takes effect. You trade in some ration cards at your Habblock's canteen for a can of Grox meat and some tough bread, guess now's your last chance to relax before work tomorrow morning and take your mind off what Maiya said.>Drink some Tau beer>Watch the public monitor>Gamble
>>5045155>Discuss with the QT at our table.
>>5045155>Watch the public monitor.
>>5045155>Watch the public monitor
>>5045155>When your deepest desires reveal themselves, just embrace themSlaaneshi bitch detected>Watch the public monitorGambling is for retards and the desperate unless you fix the game for yourself, and then it’s not exactly gambling anymore.
>>5045179Yeah, that's honestly concerning. Brimming with passion? Unleashed? Deepest desires?
>>5045155>Watch the public monitor, while eating. After that, hit the gym before sleep.
>>5045155> ... your heart is secretly brimming with passion. Just waiting to be unleashed. When your deepest desires reveal themselves, just embrace them."Red flag. She speaks with the cadence of someone who's eventually going to feed us to a giant vagina monster.> Eavesdrop on the other conversations at the bar.The television's probably just broadcasting Tau propaganda, however you might be able to overhear some worthwhile news from your fellow 'drones'.
>>5045155>> Eavesdrop on the other conversations at the bar.
>>5045155>Eavesdrop on the other conversations at the bar.>Hit the gym before sleep.Hopefully that bitch triggers our guardsman's heretic senses, because she said some awfully suspicious things.
>Human woman is a secret cultist >Tau woman just wants us to be happy for The Greater Good Tauchads win again
>>5045179>>5045188>>5045507You make a good point, anon. We better watch out.
>>5045159"uh I'm a guy""oh..."
"Tau, Kroot, Vespid, Man. We are all one in the Greater Good"A patron flicks some nutshells at the monitor. "What a load of Ork shit""Put the weather girl back on!" declares another.The Ethereal Aun'vre Kass is apparently king of this planet now, public monitors constantly display reruns of his banal speeches of unity and the Greater Good and promises of a better tomorrow.The general disdain humans have to the Tau propaganda (when there's no Tau around to hear) makes you hopeful. You eavesdrop on the nearby conversations as you watch the monitor."...rats stole my ration cards again...""...telling you, its real heresy I can FEEL...""...soft blue buttcheeks man, I...""...from the Martian, but it will cost...""...Fire Warriors shipping out...""...another demerit again...""...one of these days, I'm gonna..."After your nightly gym session and sleep you proceed to the Drone Factory the next morning.While doing your assembly inspection you think about the major heretic vibes you got from Maiya yesterday. You don't know much about it, even if you did Guardsmen tend to get memory wiped (or worse) after being exposed to warp bourne heresy but your gut says she's bad news. Regardless, if you want access to her weapon stashes you're going to have to speak with her heretical ass. You peer over your shoulder and see Ka'mais walk off with some other Tau official. Nice, he won't be back for at least 40 minutes. Your coworkers start chatting.Talk about:>war>heresy>Tau
>>5046110>heresy I wanna know if there WERE any cults active on this planet before the Tau rocked up, might give a clue on Maiya’s whole deal
>>5046111Checking these trips
>>5046110> HeresyAnd how bad it is.
>>5046304If there's an actual chaos cult, we will have to find a way to get the Tau to burn it down to the last man. Anyone follows chaos, they're less human than a Vespid.
>>5046314>do our duty to the Emperor>and up our social credit scoreNice
>>5046317The problem is convincing the Tau that heretics are, in fact, bad, and not just an religious branch that deserves the same respect as the gue'vesa who worship the emperor.I mean, there was one tau commander who thought he killed slaanesh when he murdered a cultist.
>>5046110>TauLet’s keep it safe. The only people I’m certain we can trust right now is the rattling dude and our Tau supervisor, the former for his general vibe and the latter for her predictability.
>>5046107kek "artstyle problems"
>>5046110>>heresyif there's an active chaos cult here the Tau are in for some bad news. We ought to high-tail it off this rock ASAP and bring the blueberry along
>>5046925I'm pretty sure a world isn't lost just to a simple chaos cult unless it manages to complete it's ritual.
>>5046110>"...soft blue buttcheeks man, I..."Based. Anyway, talk about>war
>>5046925>active chaos cultdefine "active chaos cult". A bunch of weirdos who hate everyone, hang out in the basement and listen to noise metal? There are probably tons of those "cults" who never achieve shit. Armed, trained people who are willing to kill, actually in contact with something in the warp and have any idea what to do? Pretty sure tau would know if any of those kinds of people were around
>>5047739>Pretty sure tau would know if any of those kinds of people were aroundTau are pretty much completely innocent when it comes to warp stuff.
>>5047857Yes, but a cult still needs manpower, equipment(optional), leadership and organisation(at least some). Tau might not know much about warp fuckery, but their surveillance state should be able to detect cults based on things other than "herecy" and "warp stuff"
>>5047920Chaos Cultists are smart, and Tau won't be looking for them. If they find a heretic symbol, they'd see it as no different than a normal gue'vesa imperial skull mark.
>>5047958We need to investigate further and if our suspicions are confirmed bring this up with blueberry
You surreptitiously address your coworkers.Cas Vaede: "Say, just between us. Have any of you heard of the Warp?"Your colleagues look uncomfortably amongst themselves.Mal (the brown haired guy): "Sounds like heresy, I never think about heresy."Malia (the brown haired girl): "Back when I worked the Imperial Basedlens Farms a deviant told me about the Warp, but I never told anyone. I was afraid I'd be executed for heresy."Jokh: "I asked my Por'la Teacher about the Warp and she didn't know anything about it."Cas Vaede: "How did you hear about the Warp, Jokh?"Jokh: "I don't know, some guy at my Hab-Block told me about it while I was eating beans?"Mal: "I... heard rumours about Warp and Daemons in my Hab too."Cas Vaede: "This is heretical information. And there are people spreading it. Something needs to be done."Jokh: "You should call the Shas. They'll take care of heretics in a flash!"Cas Vaede: "Not a bad idea, but I'll need evidence first. Leave this to me."The rest of your work day is uneventful, on the Magrail home you plan your next move.>Upgrade Gym>Gather Allies>Investigate Cult
>>5048096>Basedlens farmlmao word filter
>>5048096>investigate cult>ask blueberry about any other religious sects on the planet and gauge how retarded the Tau are on matters of Chaos
>>5048208Part of me wants to upgrade gym...>>5048208But this is more important
>>5048096>security camera in the backLet’s be cautious, lads.>Investigate Cult
>>5048096>Gather Allies>Get our ratling neighborLet's not just go alone, fail a stealth roll and die like bitch. We already tried that strategy with the ork run.Where from our guy knows about warp anyways?
>>5048208+1 for this.This is gonna turn into us trying to protect this planet from an incursion of the Great Enemy due to the Tau's short-sightedness.
>>5048747Also probably this. The ratling is a guard veteran. He of anyone should understand what we're talking about.
>>5048750>Thank you Gue'la for aiding us in stopping this small violent sectarian cult, you have been awarded 1 merit for your service.:)
>>5048889well, we aren't doing this for gratitude I assume
>>5048894What are we doing this for?
>>5048929For the Emperor, obvioslyGetting conquered by xenos is not an excuse to let heresy flourish. Also chaos shit is so, so much worse than tau, no matter how chinese they are being
>Where from our guy knows about warp anyways?Veterans told you a bit about the enemy army "Chaos", heretics that utilise the Warp. While the Commissar wasn't around of course.Fighting this heresy has become your new obsession. It gives you some semblance of fighting for the Emperor after all.You start by listening around crowds in public places. But eventually resort to carefully questioning people. Asking keywords like "Warp", "Daemon", "Chaos" with mixed results.Some humans give scornful responses, but there's a worrying amount of recognition, some people have even heard promises of great rewards from the hands Chaos.Eventually you get a promising response, when you ask a young woman sitting outside a magrail station."Chaos? I know it well. You must be curious of all the rumours." she says."I heard it can fulfill my deepest desires" You respond, (technically not lying.)"Hmm? If you need your "deepest desires" fulfilled you could've just asked me. But yes, Chaos generously~ rewards the faithful, unlike another godhead I could mention." Your eyeballs gain the Gets Hot rule at her last comment but you try to stay cool."How do I become one of the faithful?""You have to truly *want* it. And I don't think you're ready yet. Come get me when you're ready."She simply walks off. And you realise the human curfew is about to take effect. The heretic is going the opposite way to the Hab-blocks. You could shadow her, but risk getting caught by the Shas.>follow her closely>follow her carefully>back out
>>5048941>>follow her carefullywe need to tell our ratling bro about this shit
It might be wise to maybe check with our blueberry friend. She's trustworthy as a tau can be, and we're going to need the help of the authorities if we want to purge the heretics.
>>5049000>She's trustworthy as a tau can bethat what they make you think. And then they rat you out to tau KGB>>5048941>follow her carefullyI wonder what are pros and cons to both approaches. Anyway we're back on it again, doing stupid shitI wish we had a tau drone
>>5048929>>5048894Of there's one thing I'm certain the Imperium despises more than aliens and mutants it's chaos and all of its manifestations.
>>5048941>follow her carefullyWe should follow, but back off as soon as things seem dicey. The first step to dealing with this is to be certain of what we're dealing with. If she finds out we're on to her, it'll be bad news.
>>5049025> And then they rat you out to tau KGBShe could have ratted us out for saying xenos suck in the start, but she actually warned us. She's honestly nicer than 99.99% of the people in a position of power in the imperium
>>5049075Blueberry is part of the Water Caste. They're designed to sucker us into the Empire with diplomacy and headpats. Plus, we're her first client or whatever so of course she's going to be naive and optimistic with her Greater Good shit
>>5048941>back outYou absolute mongoloids, she's expecting us to follow her. Either we get caught by the T'au Gestapo or her goons whack us on the head.
>>5049094>They're designed to sucker us into the Empire with diplomacy and headpatsBlue Caste aren't actually usually that nice, they're diplomats after all. They talk good, but they're not personally kind to particular nobody joes, she's done stuff like give us a plant>Plus, we're her first client or whatever so of course she's going to be naive and optimistic with her Greater Good shitBecause she's nice, duh.
>>5049111+1, we're not ready
>>5049111switching to this, we already have an in on the Chaos Cult with the other whore
>>5049128Fool, we're here to KILL CHAOS, not fraternize with blueberry hoes.
>>5049141We need to grind that social credit, Cas will be a good Gue'vesa
>>5049111I change to this>>5049047From this.
>2 seconds into civilian life and an Imperial Guardsman already has to do the work of both the Inquisition and the Tau at the same timeas is Guard tradition
>>5048941>back outNah let's not get ambushed today, let's just find her later and shank her
>>5049141We can do both and get those cool laser guns
>>5049111+1Trips of truth.
>>5048941>Back Out.Let's ask Ratling once home, then call our Tau advisor
>>5048941>back outFind Wisby, ratlings are perfect for stealth operations, he can follow the woman for you.... For a price.
>>5049768It's gonna be a bit late to follow her when we make it back home. Whatever, you got the spirit
It's too risky. There's both the Fire Caste and the possibility of being led into a trap. Clearly you need to be better prepared for this. You need to get your hands on a weapon. But in the meantime, perhaps one of your contacts could help you find the cult?>Wisby>T'olku>Maiya>Jokh
>>5049796>>WisbyA Ratling ought to have info on everything going on in town. Jokh is way too sus, Maiya is a fanatic and T'olku alongside the rest of the T'au is new here.
Well, i don't know. On one hand, Wisby seems like he's well informed. On the other hand, if we managed to get a Tau official to believe in the cult's danger, we would have actual military backing to smoke them.
>Wisby Probably has a gun, or knows somebody who can sell us a gun.>T'olkua) will panic and call the cops(not bad actually)b) will not take the threat seriosly and think we are a schizo>Maiya probably one of them lol>Jokhwho, tau shill? Actually, wait a second he might not be a bad option. If he likes his blue overlords so much he shouldn't want chaos to start fucking shit up.
>>5049796Ok, my plan>T'olkuBut don't scream "cultists" at her, just prod about how much she knows about this chaos thing and what is the stance of tau feds on it.Then>MaiyaHonestly maybe she isn't a cultist. She can't be that deep anyway. Ask about those weapon stashes, and if she knows anything about this cult that might be around here.Hope the only human waifu so far isn't a chaos bait
>>5049849Maiya is most likely a chaos cultist, she talked all that stuff about deepest desire.
>>5049796>Wisbyhe's most likely to have weapons on him>T'olkuwhen we find the cult we snitch on them with her, tell the Tau they are revolutionaries fighting against the Greater Good or some shit, not hell demon cultists.
>>5049867Come on, not everyone who says "deepes desire" is a cultist
>>5049932they are in this shithole universe
>>5049796>WisbyTime for ratling friend.
>>5049796>WisbyOnly other useful person on this planet, I summon thee!>>5049932They are in 40K. She may not know what Chaos actually is, depending on how deep she is, but she’s definitely on the side of whatever Slaanesh nightclub has popped up here.
im sure it has been stated, but this omnicron is probably a spying device. It most likely listens to everything we say and do and maybe even filters key words and shit. Can we wait to do weird illigal shit after we talk to our rat friend about how he deals with it? Maybe tie it to a dog when we leave I don't know.
>>5050076We could just go home, then “forget” it on the nightstand.
>>5049796>WisbyThe ratling hands down.>>5049932This guy ain't gettin any commendations from his arbitrators.>>5050082>>5050076Pretty sure we need it to unlock and open our door. Maybe even other doors. Unless I'm mistaken.
>>5049933>>5050064People overestimate how easy it is to fall to chaos from nothing. Only exposure to cursed shit can fuck you up that quickly, and not every horny person/drug addict/passionate artist/whatever else is a slaanesh cultist god damn it.You need to reach some serious level of excess in whatever you doing to pick the interest of things in the warp that will grant you actual powers. Some light bondage aint gonna cut it
>>5050102I'm pretty sure i remember stuff about guardsmen getting turned into warpsawn just from getting a splinter of a cultist idol in their clothes. Didn't the Inquisition blow up several worlds just for being kinda close to the place where a ship with guardsmen from armageddon who maybe saw daemons passed through?
>>5050108Well, that is grimderp. Do you wish to follow every piece of retarded grimderp in all the warhammer lore? I mean if you like it, sure, go for it.
>>5050118>>5050102A suspicious mind is a healthy mind.
>>5049796>WisbyNot only do I trust our Ratling friend’s information, but hanging out with him could boost our morale in the face of all this subterfuge
Wisby takes a fat drag of his cigar."So let me get this straight chief; you're alone with a gal""yes""And she starts talking about 'deepest desires' and 'passions' ""yes""Are you sure she didn't just want to 'drive the tank'?""No, well I mean maybe. But I could FEEL her heretical taint! (And I'm pretty sure that poster in the background was some sort of anagram.) Between the forbidden Warp knowledge spreading and that recruiter girl I met at the station it's certain Chaos exists on this world.""Alright, alright, so we got us some heresy. I'll round up some of my boys and track em down. For a price of course."You turn out your pockets. "Any tips on how I might acquire your payment.""Well now that you mention it Chief, I got a contact who needs something nicked from the Drone Factory. Otherwise you could slip the city walls and nab something good from the ruins."How you going to fund your operation?>Scavenge Ruins>Factory Theft>Tau Combat Sport Competition
>>5051550Well, the question is what would be more heavily guarded. I'm leanimg towards the factory, so I think we should scavenge
>>5051550>Scavenge RuinsMaybe we can find things for the gym on the way too.Maybe we can pray for emperor before?
>>5051550>Scavenge RuinsWhatever security measures the Tau have going, I’m not willing to do a sneak roll when the outcome is decided completely by chance. Let’s go the safer option. We might even find some more clues.Also, what will happen if we die here, QM? You know, now that we’ve got an interesting plot set up and all. It didn’t really matter so much in the ork run but now I’m invested.
>>5051744The god-emperor gave us a free one-up I think
>>5051550>>Tau Combat Sport CompetitionYou boring bottom feeders, learn to live a little
>>5051788That's not one of the options out buddy suggested.Given their inherent physical inferiority, I have no doubt that we'd wipe the floor with any Tau in a contest of fitness, however even if we do win it seems probably that the fishfuckers would just award a bunch of virtual non-transferable credits to our PDA.I cannot imagine that such stringently regulated currencies would be of much value to our underworld contact.>>5051550> Scavenge Ruins
>>5051744>Also, what will happen if we die here, QM? You know, now that we’ve got an interesting plot set up and all. It didn’t really matter so much in the ork run but now I’m invested.Now that the quest has developed from shitpost mode into more of a story it's a bit different but I still want it to be possible for Cas to die, (or get enhanced remediation) even if it causes serious abrupt abandoned plot points. And there will still be dice rolls after risk/reward decisions. If Cas dies we can proceed with another driven human character (Maiya, Wisby) or start a new game under Necrons or something.
>>5051550>"So let me get this straight chief; you're alone with a gal""yes""And she starts talking about 'deepest desires' and 'passions' ""yes""Are you sure she didn't just want to 'drive the tank'?""No, well I mean maybe. But I could FEEL her heretical taint!Fucking hell, our character is an autistic schizo.
>>5051550>>Factory TheftIs he asking us to look the other way and leave a door open or we need to take it ourselves.
>>5051550>Scavenge RuinsWe might find something cool too.
OP mobile here, I've been range banned ffs
You agree that a few days later on your Aun'Rotaa (after your mandatory cultural enrichment seminar) you'll go scavenging. Meanwhile Wisby will get started on the mission. Now it's just a matter of preparation. In the dark depths of your impromptu gymnasium, you scheme ways to benefit your scavenging.>Get a weapon>Weasel out of T'olku's language class>Learn about the ruins/scavengers
>>5052307>>Learn about the ruins/scavengersIntelligence is a mighty weapon.
>>5052307> Learn about the ruins/scavengersYou vaguely recall a lecture that a superior officer once gave your company. Something along the lines of one hundred kilos of guardsmen being worth one gram of intel. Given that your current operation is a little anemic in the manpower department you'll just need to compensate by harnessing nerd-power.
>>5052307>Learn about the ruins/scavengersWell we do specialize in tech so as an above average intelligence guardsman we should be able to easily learn at least something about some ruins.
>>5052307>get a weaponBy the God-Emperor, I will tear out the xenos throat with my teeth if I have to, but I bet they’d taste bad
>>5052301Stupid shit posting Australians. I'm from buenos aires and I say Ban em all.
>>5052307Promptly attend T'olku's language class
>>5052307>Learn about the ruins/scavengers
>>5052307>>Learn about the ruins/scavengers>get smart
>>5052307>Learn about the ruins/scavengersKnowledge is power. Guard it well.
>>5052307>Took the phone into his secret basementOh no no no
>>5053208He needed to "motivate" himself properly before training
>>5053208I don't think the Tau would care if an gue'vesa spent his time in a dark room lifting rocks
You step through a curtain into a back alley behind a Ky'husa Tavern. Before you is a makeshift wooden bar with a human tender serving drinks to other humans seated around crummy old plasteel tables.You take a seat with a grizzled looking man wearing a hood and introduce yourself."Cas Vaede, Phrost 85th."The man shakes your hand and replies in a gravely voice."Ivan Kilgard, Magnan 19th.""Some guys at my Hab recommended I talk to you about scavenging."He checks the backdoor behind him and leans in close."Right, first rule about the ruins. Watch out for those Kroot things. They stalk the streets day and night, and you do NOT want them to catch you, trust me.""Yeah, I've seen it with my own eyes. Not pretty.""Then you can probably guess, this pistol here? It's for myself for when they catch me. Stay well away from them. If you pay attention to your nose you can actually smell their hunting trails. Also: they can see you through walls unless you cover yourself in mud.""Infravision? Throne I hate xenos.""We all do... Now. The next thing you gotta know is..."Before you leave the alley bar you:>get another scavenger to join your party>borrow Ivan's Pistol>get a copy of a scavenger's map
>>5053874>>get a copy of a scavenger's map
>>5053874>get a copy of a scavenger's mapEverything along the route will probably be cleaned out, but it would be good to have a lay of the land. Even better if some of the hunting trails are already marked.
>>5053874>get a copy of a scavenger's map
>>5053874>get a copy of a scavenger's mapGetting another scavenger is too risky, they might decide to betray us, and i don't think he'll give us the gun.
>>5053874>get a copy of a scavenger's mapHe probably won't let us borrow his gun plus we might be able to find our own while scavenging, also I don't think we should trust some random scavenger here they might backstab us, so map it is.
>>5053874> get a copy of a scavenger's map
>>5053874>>get a copy of a scavenger's mapAnd then, we'll go to the places that aren't marked on the map, best chance of loot there
>>5053874>>borrow Ivan's PistolYooo, kroots are here. To kill us
sorry no update tonight, updates have been a bit irregular cos I haven't been managing my time responsibly. I'll make it a priority to do 1 Update every day from tomorrow on, promise.
>>5054596>wake up the pig
You scribble down the last of the map onto a thin bar rag."Hey thanks for letting me copy your map.""The Emperor wills us to stand together. If you make your own maps come exchange them with us."
You study the map thoughtfully. "What are you reading there Gue'vesa Cas?"You look up at Por'la T'olku, and respond in the Tau language."I am reviewing my study notes, esteemed teacher"She claps her hands together. "Wonderful! I am so proud of your progress as a student. I award you 1 merit!"1 demerit - 5 meritsYou put your Holochron back into your pocket. "I thank you, say Tolku? There was something I wanted to ask you today.">Tell her about the Chaos Cult>Ask about the ruins>Ask about interstellar travel
>>5055550>Ask about the ruins>Ask what she knows/understands of heretics.Asking about the ruins might work, if we word our question right. It also might give us away. T'olku seems to be genuinely friendly, unlike much of the other T'au, and I imagine she considers us her responsibility. Because of that, I think she'll wind up concerned and try to intervene if she thinks we'll put ourselves in danger (never mind that that's literally the game of being a guardsman). I say we gauge what kind of things she knows about the ruins. Maybe phrase the question as curiosity over why they haven't been cleaned up or salvaged.I'm not sure how to broach the subject of chaos or heresy with her. She might know something vital, but how to word the question to get it out of her and so that there's no misinterpretation eludes me. Maybe one of you has a better idea.
>>5055550>>ask about cow tools
>>5055550She just gives us merits every time we see her. That's very sweet of her. >Ask what we even can do with merits>Ask what she knows/understands of heretics
>Ask what she knows/understands of heretics.Asking about the ruins is not a good idea, i feel like. She might get the idea that we're going to do something. Asking her about the heretics is a better idea.We should word it in an more innocuous manner. Ask it's like some sort of gue'vesa thing that you're concerned with.
>>5055584It's sweet indeed, i really hope she doesn't get her spirit crushed by having to deal with the dregs of grimdark, being a water caste and all that. I wouldn't want to see her lose her hope because of all the psychos.
>>5055550>ask about interstellar travelI feel like she might slip up and say something interesting about the situation in the sector, plus it's the most innocent option, and we don't want to attract any attention. We have the map, no point asking about the ruins, if people scavenge there semi-regularly it has to be safe enough.And obviously >>5055581 too.
>>5055550>Ask her about what she knows of heretics and ChaosI feel bad for this blueberry. She's so hopeful and has no idea how bad things really are.
>>5055550> Ask about interstellar travel
>>5055585>We should word it in an more innocuous manner. Ask it's like some sort of gue'vesa thing that you're concerned with.This could work.
Just remember that Tau have no idea of what chaos is. If there is, in fact, an chaos cult in it's early stages (aka before they start sacrificing people and all that stuff), they probably can't tell the difference between them and the gue'vesa who worship the emperorThey will need some convincing if we want them to understand that we're not, in fact, just trying to start a meaningless gue'la religious war.
>Ask what she knows of heretics"What do you know about heretics?""Heretics? Oh! You must be referring to the other main religion of humans. The schism between the two is enormous.""Main religion? You consider Chaos just as prominent as the Imperium of Man?!""Certainly, the Fire Caste makes war on them almost as much as they do against Imperials, they even have Gue'Ron'Sha.""You mean Space Marines?" You let out a small chuckle at her foolishness, "T'olku. Space Marines are loyal only to the Emperor, they would never side with Chaos."With a concerned look it looks like she's about to retort but she reconsiders. "Yes, of course. You are right. *ahem* As far as I know: They ally themselves with scores of strange alien creatues called Daemons. 'Chaos' is highly unstratified, They have gone quite mad and have a sadistic streak to them. The Water Caste has little success reasoning with them.""Yeah, There's only one way to deal with them...">Ask what we even can do with merits"Think of them like a priority system. The citizens who are most productive and loyal to the Greater Good are first in line to share in the bounty it brings. Citizens with a high score have first pick of amenities (and in trying times, rations). With more ubiquitous ones being available to those lower on the merit score. Take the flower I got you for example: if you have a merit score of over 100 you're allowed to take as many as you like from the Flo'rel distribution center.""You need 100 for a pot plant? I only have 5.""Well the merit threshold is determined by supply and demand. In time we will all enjoy the full prosperity of Tau'va. Then there will be so many flowers available they could be given freely to citizens with a score as low as 5. But don't worry, you gain 1 merit every Aun'Rotaa if you attended work every day! In 500 days you will have enough merits to get your own flowers!"After your seminar with Tolku you bury your Holochron somewhere safe and immediately head off to the outer city wall. You climb into the remains of an enormous promethium relay pipe and walk through the darkness until you emerge on the other side of the wall, surrounded by the blasted ruins of this Imperial world.You unfurl your map.>Go for Narcotics (low risk)>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)>Go for Valuables (high risk)
>>5056313On one hand, weapons seem like quite the reasonable choice. On the other hand, Tau are going to look for weaponry far more than they will for narcotics or valuables, since they represent a higher danger.
>>5056325>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)We'll be carefull making a safe cache unrelated to us anyway. Or even maybe make a common weapon stock with other scavengers. It will be usefull for next expeditions, and we got a free 1-UP courtesy of emperor
>>5056313>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)
Cas with his ever growing weebery seems like the type of nigga to dream about a felinid GF
>>5056313>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)Remember Snake, this is a sneaking mission.Anything we recover that can't be used ourselves can be easily traded away for other useful materials.
>>5056547Why dream when he has a nice qt blueberry who already likes him
>>5056313> Go for Weaponry (medium risk)
>>5056313>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)Of course we gotta get a weapon first
>>5056313>>Go for Valuables (high risk)ALL IN
>>5056313>Go for Weaponry (medium risk)Prioritaze weapons but take anything that looks useful
>>5056313>T'olku. Space Marines are loyal only to the Emperor, they would never side with Chaos."I thought average Imperials would at least know about the Heresy.
>I thought average Imperials would at least know about the Heresy.idk i'm no expert on the lore. I assume if knowledge regarding the very existence of Chaos is taboo knowing about the HH would be as well
Yes, there are Imperial Guard locations marked on the map. Surely there's some weaponry to be found there.You skulk nice and slow through the crumbling ruins. Must of been nice, this city was in a sweetspot where it was large enough to afford some semblance of stability but small enough to not be a horrendously oppressive Hive City where citizens never even see sunlight.Roll 1d100 (average of the first 3 rolls)On a roll of 40 or lower there will be a hostile encounter
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5057158
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5057158
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5057158The Emperor Protects.
>>5057158Sexy kroot females
>>5057280>>5057158Stop scavenging, acquire Kroot sex
>>5057300>>5057280Listen, fellas. I can understand the T'au and felinids and whatnot. But this is unreasonable.
Average 51, we good, no action
make it happen OP
>>5057816Make what happen?I'm not going to allow coomerism in the quest just because of a mere 2 votes
>>5057505Supporting unreasonableness. Plus, nothing to get from this for the grind
Paying close attention to the map and your sense of smell. You eventually detect a Kroot hunting trail. Pungent pheromones that smell like a turgid Guard Barracks in the summer warn you to steer clear. You eventually get to the site of a battlefield marked on your map. It seems the Tau have retrieved the bodies and functional equipment of their fellows leaving only Imperial remains. Eventually you find a corpse gripping a functional Lasgun. Unsure on how to give your respects, you give a moment of silence for a few seconds and then pry the weapon from his skeletal hands.Armed and loaded. This should be enough to pay Wisby. Although... you have time to continue scavenging if you're willing to take the risk. You could also use some of the Vehicle field equipment lying around to give the gun a little upgrade.>flee back to the city>continue scavenging>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat Limiter
>>5057906>>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat LimiterWe'll need all the fire power we can get if we wanna defeat the armour of a Fire Warrior.
>>5057906Bypass the heat limiter, but otherwise, I think we should go. It's too risky.
>>5057906> [Tech Use] Bypass the Heat Limiter
>>5057906>>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat LimiterTell lasgun's machine spirit we're gonna be killing heretics. That should get it going. Also [Tech use] is our character signature ability, we should take it when we can.>>continue scavengingWe have a gun now, even if we run into kroots we can just shoot them dead. If we gonna keep the lasgun we need more loot to pay wisby.
>continue scavengingThe longer we stay, the probability of kroot female increases
>>5057906>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat LimiterWould this technically make it a hotshot lasgun?
>>5057906>continue scavengingWe have a weapon for safety, and we need "money". Anything of value can be exchanged for intel, supplies, or used for ourselves.
>>5058021>A Lasgun>Killing krootsHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>5057906>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat LimiterWe keep this one for ourselves, and dig up some other goods for Wisby.>that skeleton giving us a thumbs-upNice.>>5058209Lasguns will literally blow the limbs off an unarmored man with contemptuous ease. How many kroots do you see wearing heavy armor?
>>5057906>>[Tech Use] Bypass the Heat Limiter
>>5058209Memes about "flashlights" are good and all, but lasguns are powerful weapons, unless you have armor minmaxed specifically to resist them. Like spehs marines have.
>>5058645>>5058209A Kroot nigga might die one shot, yeah, but he has a dozen buddies and they're all faster than you.
>>5058648No point aguing about spherical kroot in vacuum, it depends on a combat scenario. I'd bet on our guy, so I voted continue expliring.
>>5057906>continue scavengingAgainst all odds, let’s do this. I hope we don’t die. Also, we should check just HOW functional our new lasgun is. It’s not very good if we only have three or so shots.>>5058648You mean a kroot jo’nah
>>5058474>Lasguns will literally blow the limbs off an unarmored man with contemptuous ease.Yeah, a man. To an combat-made alien like the Kroot it's nothing more than a first degree burn.
>>5058754>a kroot jo’nahKek
>>5058880>The Lasgun and Laspistol are weapons generally meant for dealing with lightly armoured infantry, and thus lack the brute power of more advanced weapons from the Imperium's arsenal, like Bolters or Plasma Guns. This has led the weapon to be scorned by some of the Imperial Guard's soldiers and officers as "flashlights."However, a Lasgun's relative power should be assessed only when comparing it with more powerful Imperial weapons, as even a Laspistol beam is capable of killing an unarmoured target, causing immediate death. When set to maximum power, Lasguns have been known to penetrate weak spots in Chaos Space Marine Power Armour, with the shot penetrating the neck joint or even decapitating the foul creature in an instant.>Implying that some naked bird fuck can tank a flesh-piercing laserThis is your brain on memes.
>>5058891Where the hell did you get this? If Lasguns could penetrate Chaos Marine armor, the Horus Heresy would have been over in a single battle.Kroot are stupidly strong.
>>5058902>Where did you get thisWiki>Kroot are stupidly strongThey are. Still somewhere below ork boys, but pretty strong, yes. Muscle fiber is just flesh though