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Welcome to Joffrey Baratheon Self Insert Quest, where you play as the cursed QM Elsweyr who has been punished for his questing sins by being cast into the body of the most unlikable Game of Thrones character destined for failure and death on the day of his 12th birthday right before the events of the A Song of Ice And Fire novels start to occur.Last time, Joffrey Baratheon foiled Littlefinger’s plot regarding the murder of Jon Arryn in King’s Landing and made the journey North with King Robert to Winterfell.Now, Joffrey Baratheon prepares to enter Winterfell.It’s time to meet the Starks.Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Joffrey%20SI
Winterfell makes for an imposing sight in all its glory as the seat of House Stark, the Warden of the North and the Lord Paramount. The sprawling castle is situated very close to the Kingsroad, which weaves a winding path all the way to the Wall, and a bustling settlement called Winter Town is situated just outside the castle’s main gatehouse, rows of small and neat houses built of log and undressed stone with muddy streets.The complex is defended by two massive walls of grey granite with a wide moat between them. The outer wall is eighty feet tall with guard turrets while the inner is one hundred feet tall and crenelated, with over thirty watch turrets. Two huge crenelated bulwarks flank the great arched main gates which are currently open, the drawbridge lowered to allow the King and his retinue access. The Queen’s grand wheelhouse unfortunately proves too wide to enter through Winterfell’s gates.You and the rest of the nearly three hundred riders pour into the courtyard like a flowing river of gold, silver and polished steel. Flanked by a pride of bannerman, knights, sworn swords and free swords with a dozen golden banners whipping back and forth in the northern wind over your heads, emblazoned with the crowned stag of Baratheon, you cut an impressive figure beside your massive father at the head of the column.You quickly spot the Lord of Winterfell - a man with a long face and long brown hair, a closely trimmed beard beginning to gray and dark grey eyes which reflect a somber disposition. Eddard Stark.Standing dutifully at his side is a beautiful fair-skinned noblewoman with long auburn hair, blue eyes and high cheekbones. Catelyn Stark.Your father vaults off his warhorse and roars. “NED!” Robert stomps forward and crushes his far shorter and skinnier friend in a bone-crunching bear hug. “Ah, but it is good to see that frozen face of yours.” The king looks Eddard over top to bottom, and laughs. “You have not changed at all.”Ned merely bows in response. “Your Grace, Winterfell is yours.”You dismount from your horse and allow one of the Northman grooms to take your gelded palfrey to the stables. Queen Cersei and your younger siblings finally catch up, passing through on foot.Eddard kneels in the snow and kisses the Lannister Queen’s ring while Robert embraces Catelyn like a long lost sister, before pulling back and whispering quietly to her, his expression soulfully empathetic as he speaks with the woman, likely trying his damnedest to smooth over the obvious awkwardness instigating this visit. You watch the Tully woman’s lower lip quiver as tears threaten to spill down her face, listening to the harsh truth of what transpired that she was likely attempting to ignore, keeping up a brave face for the King’s arrival and pushing the unpleasantness of her sister’s demise to the back of her mind.
Catelyn maintains her composure and you think you even see her mouth a ‘thank you’ to Robert, before the King disengages from that uncomfortable bit of business and walks back to where you stand.Bobby B grips you by the shoulder and guides you forward to meet the Stark Family. “Crown Prince Joffrey,” the King introduces you, a beaming grin returning to his face. “My eldest son and heir, soon to be the fiercest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms.” He then gestures to Tommen and Myrcella who Cersei has urged forward, both small children shyly clinging to her skirts. “Princess Myrcella - as beautiful as her mother - just ask the Knight of Flowers!” The King cackles. “And my youngest, Prince Tommen, sweet as can be.”Ned introduces his own children, all of whom step forward of their own accord upon receiving the signal from their Lord father. “My eldest and heir, Robb,” the Northman speaks and a stocky teenage boy with blue eyes and thick red-brown hair bows to you. “Sansa,” he continues, and a preteen girl - Catelyn writ younger - bows. “Arya,” a skinny female child with the long face, grey eyes and brown hair of her father bows. “Bran,” elicits a young lad around Tommen’s age with the coloring of his Tully mother to bow next. “And young Rickon, the fiercest three year old you’ve ever met.” The youngest child here is undaunted by the strangers before him and bows to the King.Robert is more than pleased by his foster brother’s large family, but the second the formalities of greeting are completed he fixes the northman with a serious gaze. “Take me down to your crypt, Eddard. I would pay my respects.”Cersei sighs. “We’ve been riding since dawn,” she complains. “Everyone is tired and cold, surely we should refresh ourselves first. The dead will wait.”A cold fury suffuses the King’s countenance when he looks back at his blonde bombshell of a nagging wife and white-cloaked Ser Jaime strides forward, quietly grabbing his twin sister by the arm and pulling her back from truly rousing the Baratheon Stag’s wrath. “Bring me a lantern,” Eddard calls to his servants, orderly lined up and waiting as expected when a King arrives upon your Lord’s doorstep.The two men depart without further words, leaving the rest of you standing there in the relative silence of the chill morning.>What do? (write-in)
>>4786440Ask cersei to meet us at the top of a tower. It's time.
>>4786440Ask Robb to spar with him.
>>4786443>tfw we are fucking cersei when bran climbs up
>>4786440>Spar with Robb and Bran>Flirt with SansaBruh, come on you gotta give us more choices than that.
>>4786440Speak with the stark spawn
>>4786440>Spar with Robb>Flirt with Sansa
Has anyone ever done a bobby b quest? Honestly sounds like the most fun asoiaf character to play as
>>4786440>>4786443This. Time to finish off these plannerfags
>>4786459Unironically, we will ruin the timeline if we don't cripple Bran.
>>4786443lol cerseis going to kek you fags with jaime, joff is a 12 year old
>>4786440>>What do? (write-in)>Spar with Robb>Flirt with SansaHit her with the old 'On the ride north I saw many beautifully things' plus a real big wink
Already starting with absolute retardation I see.
>>4786467Even though coomers are going to win unless someone samefags, its better than Redwyne simps winning. Literally any waifu is better than literally who the girl. Joff losing his virginity to a fat smelly old man is better than the blue waffle coochie of Redwyne slut.
>>4786467Someones going to fuck her in that tower, might as well be us.
we should just get cersei killed
>>4786469Would it be joffrey baratheon quest if it didn't?
>>4786469Whenever given the opportunity anons will always vote to crash quests with no survivors. Think back on all the times anons literally voted to kill themselves in quests here
>>4786470>its better than Redwyne simps winning.I'm not Redwynefag by any means but anything is better than repeating Jamie&Cersei stupidity.
>>4786474if we push her out of the tower perhaps she will become the three eyed raven
>>4786475You could always override votes Trick, you did it once before and it was glorious.
>>4786475Can we die in this quest?
>>4786475I really hope you will fuck them over.
>>4786469I don't follow, Bran needs to get crippled so he can become the 3 eyed raven. We're fucked if that doesn't happen
>>4786482Hahaha look at this salty faggot. Eat shit.
>>4786474>invite cersei to the tower>push her off the top>fuck bran to keep him quiet The perfect crime>>4786470How does this have anything to do with fucking your mom?
>>4786440>spar with Robb and Bran>flirt with Sansa>Chill and compare our dagger and her needle with Arya>Play Airplane with Rickon
>>4786482>you did it once before and it was gloriouswhen?
>>4786487How retarded are you?
>>4786488Dosen't change Gendry living, oof. >>4786489It was a joke post anon, you know in the end of the days coomers will win though. Ratfags won before.
>>47864873 eyed raven can find another faggot with near death experience, you autist.
>>4786470Where does all this hatred for a character I don't even think was ever introduced in the novels come from?
>>4786500Why don’t we just jump off the tower, the path to power is open to us!
>>4786493Gendry living even though that one anon used a fatepoint to kill him for no reason. It was hilarious and I'm not even a Gendryfag. Inb4 someone claims I am because they're still seething about it.
>>4786484If you die in the quest, you die in real life
>>4786501because their favorite waifu was dissed to prop up Redwyne girl, waifufags are pathetic like that
>>4786501I don't hate her, I just think she's irrelevant and the people who support her are autists. I want Night King to win or even Benjen.
>>4786440>What do? (write-in)>Follow Bobby B and Ned
This is going to be hilarious train wreck for the cerseifags.
>>4786515Cersei three eyed raven nao.
>>4786515You say that like I'm expecting anything less than a train wreck
I wish there were more asoiaf quests still running, I miss /got/ and need my fix
>>4786505>Gendry living even though that one anon used a fatepointI only ever said the fate point could be used to impale Gendry, which did happen. I never agreed it would kill him.Sorry not sorry, get fukt faggots.
>>4786520Someone should make a Greens vs. Blacks /qst/, We'd probably do it a lot better than HBO.
>>4786521HOLY CRAP BASED,
coomers need to be put up on a cross
>>4786440>spar with Robb and BranAlso see if Tommen wants to watch us. Or maybe he can go play with the younger starks
>>4786523Better play Blacks, nobody would play the Greens. Daemon quest?
>>4786440>>Spar with Robb and BranHell get Jon in there too
You're aware we can be found by someone other than Bran, right?
>>4786538Daemon quest before Rhaenyra has mutt andal spawn and gets fat
>>4786538>Playing as Blacks, and as DaemonBased. Greens are full of pretenders and nu-males. Will we have jungle fever for Nettles this time too?
>>4786545>Daemon quest before Rhaenyra has mutt andal spawn and gets fatWell he did start molesting her when she was 15.
>>4786541support the addition
>>4786544They can be the three eyed coomer instead in that case. EZ
>>4786440>>Spar with Robb and Bran
>>4786440Looks like it's up to us to be diplomatic. >Introduce Bran with Tommen, Sansa with Myrcella >Suggest Catelyn lead Cersei in out of the cold>>4786446>>4786450>>4786452>Spar with Robb>Drag Jamie along too>Don't be an idiot>Nobody but BobbyB is fucking Cersei anywhere in Winterfell.
>>4786443>>4786453>>4786459>>4786460>>4786477Go meet Cersei at the top of a tower>>4786446>>4786448>>4786452>>4786468>>4786491>>4786535>>4786541>>4786557Spar with Robb>>4786448>>4786452>>4786468>>4786491Flirt with Sansa>>4786450>>4786451Speak with Stark spawnRobbfags BTFO Sansa and Cersei fags
>>4786560>counting the blatant samefaggingcmon trick, I know you want us to bang Cersei too
>>4786563No, Trick wants us to ride Benjen's valayrian steel sword you dingus.
>>4786565Porque no los dos?
>>4786560Based acquire bros not hoes
Shireenchads, we need to steer Joff away from S*nsa. Hopefully the Lysa incident has put Robert off betrothing us to a Tully whore.
>>4786577I will help steer you guys to Shireen, but only if we can fuck Cersei first.
BOARS BEFORE WHORES
>>4786538Or Rhaenyra quest before she gets married to the fag
>>4786577I will help you go for Shireen, but only if we can have Myrcella on the side.
>>4786563The thread just started.I might as well accuse the cerseifags of samefagging as well. Let's allow for peole to actually filter in from the last thread before we start voting on anything majorly quest altering, okay?
>Nobody noticed Boggs showing up in the last thread.You fuckers are unaware we've garnered the attention of a god. A god who looks like a Redwynefag.
>>4786605What is a god before a nonbeliever?
>>4786605You think that's cool, I asked for a picture reference to make smut of a character in his quest in the qtg and he gave it to me. It's time for me to right all the wrongs in that goddamned quest with my Shryke fanfiction.
>>4786625dew it, Shryke got pretty coom-tier when he gets to Dorne.
>>4786624Depends on the god.>>4786625>It's time for me to right all the wrongs in that goddamned quest with my Shryke fanfiction.Guess it's time to picture a bunch of jumpcuts of Aurion fucking every attractive woman he's ever met to the tune of Yakety Sax.
>>4786642>Depends on the god.It's a meme, buttman.
>>4786641>>4786642I'm on thread 2, lol.Even when he fucked the courtesan i think he could have been more coomer, so I will ensure its a coom quest
What exactly is wrong with sansa as a wife? Is it that she isn’t related to us?
>>4786641>DorneDid we read the same quest?>>4786658Anons are already ahead of you. Catch up or skip to thread 8 or so
>>4786669I don't remember it that well since the Dorne story was when I dropped it, he might have been even more coom before Dorne but I don't give a shit.
>>4786671We never went to dorne. Are you thinking of malroy?
>>4786675Oh shit it was Mallroy, my bad. I just remember that quest being full on coomer hentai fulfillment and it soured GOT quests for me for a long time.
>>4786660She's not Cersei
>>4786440>>4786559+1 for this if I’m not too late
>>4786684That's right, she's still a virgin and wont cheat on us.
>>4786684Post roberts rebellion cersei is garbage tier
While the dads are away, the children will play! You stride forward up to Stark’s eldest, regarding the boy with a studious glance, looking him up and down. This is the supposed King in the North in the unaltered timeline and you must say, he is definitely yet to look the part. For one, you’re taller than him despite being at least two years his younger. You noticed you had undergone somewhat of a growth spurt over the course of the last two months, considering you towered over a head taller than Cersei when you kissed her this morning in stark contrast to when you last stood next to her in the royal apartments. But the fact that you’re taller, if more svelte, than this manlet in the making comes as something of a pleasant surprise to you.You smile at the auburn-haired northman. “I’ve made it a habit to practice combat with my father whenever we make camp along the Kingsroad. Since he’s indisposed, maybe his namesake might be willing to take the King’s place as my sparring partner.” Robb returns your smile with a wolfish grin of his own, folding his arms in front of his broad, puffed up chest. “Whenever you’re ready, Your Grace,” he replies, speaking your title with a hint of mockery, before looking past you to wink one of his deep blue eyes at your younger sister Myrcella. The princess blushes.>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Tell the Stark boy your sister is off limits to him>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Other (write-in)apologies for the short update
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.Based
>>4786721>>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.It's only fair
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.
>>4786721>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.kek>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring sessionThis part can be more a testing ground for both of them in combat, maybe we can teach our brother.>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring sessionSomeone else to spar with for us. And he can learn something from it too
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.Nothing wrong with a friendly rivalry.
>>4786721>ask for Sansa's favor to one-up this little faggot
>>4786721>>OtherJust sparTrying to force Sansa aren't you? Shit qm desu
>>4786721>>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session
>>4786755Robert Baratheon is down in the crypts right this second arranging a marriage between you and Sansa and I just offered you a chance to try to subvert that by setting up Robb with Myrcella, but okay, sure, yeah, I'm forcing Sansa on you faggots.
>>4786755it's going to win almost unanimously, C O P E.
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring sessionRoyal Rumble baby
>>4786771You forgot Rickon
>>4786783Shit. Rickon vs Hound also >>4786771
>>4786755Should have actually given that grey matter a workout and voted to follow Bobby and Ned into the crypts.
>>4786726>>4786728>>4786731>>4786733>>4786736>>4786737>>4786738>>4786746>>4786748>>4786750>>4786754>>4786756>>4786771Fucking sansafags not realizing they can vote for other shit besides making eyes at their goddamned waifu. THe votes are open for like 45 minutes, you don't need to rush to vote you can vote for other shit too, lol.>>4786805I thought about giving that as an option, but I really don't think Bobby would have allowed you to. He needs a moment of privacy with his best bro.
>>4786805Or we could've said something on the road instead of spamming SPARRRR to every vote. It was an option.
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring session
>>4786809Ah yesChanging>>4786728to >Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Arya a smoldering look
Guys remember we need to shit our pants in front of Ned. WE CAN NOT FORGET THIS
>>4786809I'm not a Sansafag, we're just two budding bros flirting with each other's sister. Regarding the crypt, that's a fair point.>>4786811This too, we'll see how it goes. Ned wasn't in love with the idea in canon, I doubt he'd be too bent out of shape if things changed.>>4786819Based
>>4786822Really the Margaeryfags should be joining together to shit our pants in front of Sansa and everyone right now. That will halt the betrothal talks.
>>4786721>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session
>>4786721>>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance>>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session
>>4786809Fine changing to:>>>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an allianceNow stop complaining, if Sansafags win they win. Margarey and Sansa are both equally worst girl.
>>4786822>>4786831oh no OH NONONONDiperfags please stop
>>4786819Adding>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Rickon, and the Hound in sparring
>>4786822>>4786831>so gay that they shit themselves in the presence of beautiful womenlol
>>4786721>>4786809Goddam salty fag, fine.>Two can play at that game. Give Robb's sister Sansa a smoldering look.>Quietly ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty, because your Father wants to join your Houses in an alliance>Suggest involving Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Suggest involving Jon Snow in the sparring session>Suggest involving Theon in the sparring session>Suggest involving Arya, Bran and Tommen in the sparring session>Other (write-in)Ask about their dogs, we gonna be dogfags now.
>>4786726>>4786728>>4786731>>4786733>>4786736>>4786737>>4786738>>4786746>>4786748>>4786750>>4786751 (favor)>>4786754>>4786756>>4786771>>4786818>>4786829>>4786833>>4786834Sansa receives a smoldering look>>4786733>>4786739>>4786818>>4786834>>4786838Ask Robb if he finds your sister pretty>>4786733>>4786746>>4786756>>4786771>>4786818>>4786833>>4786834Involve Jon Snow>>4786746>>4786771>>4786818>>4786833Involve Bran and Tommen>>4786755Just spar>>4786771>>4786818>>4786833Involve Theon>>4786771>>4786818>>4786833Involve Arya>>4786819Be based as fuckWRiting
>>4786831>>4786839>>4786846ITS TO DISPLAY DOMINANCE.
>>4786838Sure I'll change to this>>4786755
>>4786858>piss into a goblet and drink it to prove to Mel that we're the Azor Ahai
>>4786809i mean i did vote for other things as well ?
Honestly, I'd bet money that Catelyn would prefer a Rob-Myrcella pairing than Us-Sansa. Regardless of Robert's reassurances, her sister died in King's Landing, executed by our family. If it's a choice between having a beautiful little "Baratheon" girl come to come brighten up the harsh cold North, or her precious daughter leaving to live in the southlands, no mother would even have to think about the answer.
>>4786874Lets try convince Bobby, Myrcella for Robb, Margaery for us.
>>4786878Margaery is a HOOAH
>>4786878>>4786881Margaery is Olenna's puppet. Sansa is FREE.
>>4786881She’s secretly a HOOAH in the books as well
>>4786895Even if she wasn't one yet, she has the type of personality that would justify her sleeping around as for our political gain.
>>4786874>implying Cersei would willingly allow her cute little daughter to stay in the NorthCersei would probably just kill Robert if it came to that.
>>4786895>believing our batshit mother and testimonies extracted under tortureMy flag isn't even in Margaery's camp, but come on.
Margaeryfags are the worst of them all.
Margaery is obviously the superior prospect. Sansafags can get BOARed.
>>4786911Based and BOARpilled
>>4786911Salsa and tommen is a better idea anyways
>>4786904Cersei sent her daughter to motherfucking DORNE. The North is fine.
>>4786911Margaery is a tool for her granny, sansa is 100% loyal so long as we don’t execute her family and beat her
>>4786921Wasn't that at Tywin's bidding?
>>4786924This. Sansa reinforces an alliance we already have but she definitely won't fuck us over as long as we don't let her get manipulated.Marrying Marge will just introduce a Tyrell agent in our close entourage. In contrast, the Stark are a Lawful Stupid bunch who will follow us into hell as long as we honor Ned's friendship with Bobby Daddy and don't treat Sansa like shit.
>everyone voting to cuck Sandor out of an admirerThe North really IS cold innit?
why sansafags are assblasted about Olenna?
>>4786951>why are players in a quest about being Joffrey Baratheon not keen on Olenna, the woman who murders Joffrey BaratheonI dunno anon, what do you think?
>>4786954If we were born forty years prior I'd chase the cougar Olenna. As it stands even though she's a GILF she'd still break a hip doing the dirty. So sadly that's out. RIP the dream of a bad bitch for a wife.
>>4786954OG Joffrey Baratheon was sociopathic, sadistic piece of shit though. You have to be braindead to get mad at Olenna for killing him.
>>4786916..did someone mention our father's soulmate, the almighty BOOAAAR?
>>4786962I mean you have to be braindead to get close to the women who will potentially murder you.
After we get done measuring dicks with Robb, we should be nicer next time we check in with mum. She's the most vindictive woman in Westeros, and the primary source of our political influence if/when Bobby dies. We might be King by right, but the Goldcloaks are loyal to who pays them, without her standing in Tywin Rains of Castamere's shadow, we're surrounded by better claimants, without backing.
>>4786966Only if you behaving like Ramsay Snow but our Joffrey clearly isn't in danger.
Rolled 23 + 10 (1d100 + 10)Well two can play at this game. And in the war of handsome boys shooting come hither looks to other boy’s little sisters, you far and above have the upper hand over this plain-looking Tully-Stark hybrid.You cast your smoldering gaze over to Eddard’s oldest daughter, Sansa Stark. Your emerald stare catches the highborn beauty’s sapphire blue before she can think to avert her eyes. The niece of the woman whose head you helped get lopped off is caught in your visual trap, frozen like she had been touched by a White Walker, unable to look away as you speak to her and her brother simultaneously. “I’m ready to work up a sweat with a Stark right now,” you smoothly utter the line. Sansa’s face blushes as red as her hair color, while Arya simply rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue in disgust at her sister’s swooning over you. Robb notices the attention you’re giving his sister and picks up on your double meaning, old enough himself to understand the urge a man has to copulate. He bristles, pride shallowly struck by your willingness to be far bolder in your insinuations and flirting. “Then let’s go,” the boy suggests. “I wish to test myself against the soon to be fiercest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms.” “Alright now, boys,” a stout older man with soft flesh under his chin speaks, stepping forward to intervene. He has white hair and large white whiskers which he’s impulsively tugging on as he speaks. “If you want to work up an appetite before the welcoming feast tonight, come with me.” The man bows to you. “Ser Rodrik Cassel, Your Grace. Master-at-arms of Winterfell.”You and Robb follow the Northern knight deeper into the courtyard, where he and your various retainers assist in garbing you both in padded armor and giving you wooden swords with which to hack and slash at each other in a demonstration of your burgeoning martial skills. The next Lord Paramount of the North and yourself take up positions opposite each other within a small, circular arena in the yard, where you presume the castle guards drill and spar. Dozens of spectators have already formed a second ring around the wooden boundaries in the midst of Winterfell’s sprawling courtyards, including both your mothers who stand beside one another and speak softly, too low and distant from where you stand to hear. Even some of the guards on the castle walls above begin neglecting their duties of maintaining a watch of the surroundings to get a look at the sanctioned fight from their high vantage points.Robb looks pumped to cross blades with you and hopefully put you on your ass.Rodrik Cassel clears his throat and then loudly shouts: “Begin!”>Roll 1d100
>>4786967We would totally have Tyrion on our side if it came down to a family feud though. Tywin would probably be trying to get everyone to sit the fuck down and Jaime would be sucking Cersei's farts. Barring extenuating circumstances the Claimants would be a relatively beloved but secret homo and a relatively respected but dour asshole. Or if you don't want to consider our uncles, a pudgy little smoothbrain and an adorable but still female girl. Joff is actually a really god choice since he stopped being a total schizo. Sorry, psycho, we're still schizophrenic.
>>4786962It's not about that. It's about the Tyrells being the biggest inner threat to Lannister rule of the Seven Kingdoms. Olenna wanted Joffrey dead mainly for political reasons, because he was a Lannister and in the way of her goals, not because he was a little shit.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4786974
Also it's nice from sansafags ignoring that Starks also wanted to kill OG joffey. Maybe don't behave like spergs, then you won't be poisoned. Fucking simple.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4786974
>>4786976>Olenna wanted Joffrey dead mainly for political reasons, because he was a Lannister and in the way of her goals, not because he was a little shit.Cool story, bro, because Tywin and Cersei surely weren't in her way.
>>4786979>>4786974His 33 vs your 42. So it's a close bout but you will come out ahead. Anything you'd like to add to the scene, both during the fight and afterward, beyond simply winning?>Write-in
>>4786974lolol.Well, if we can beat him we should, but be gracious. If he beats us, we should still be gracious. And then let's see if he can keep going for hours like we do. We do ultimately want Rob and his family on our side. We should let him in on BobbyB's plans to join our families, so we're all better off "friendly" until we find out who's getting hitched.
>>4786985Gloat about how easy the fight was
>>4786985We need to be good about it. Help him up. Tell him it was a good fight, because the score was close. Then talk to him. >>4786987Yeah ask if he wants a rematch
>>4786985During the spar test how much strong and skilled we have grown so far.If he gets on ground offer him an hand to get up and then ask him if he wants to continue. After that asks the other starks if they want to spar and do some chatting when we are all tired.
>>4786985What >>4786987 said, but also include the phrase “risk it for the biscuit” in the mid-fight banter.
>>4786985Be graceful in victory, we're here to make loyal pals who will stick with us. Plus Roderick is watching and he's gonna tell Ned what we're like.
>>4786987>>4786995This. Then see if Jon Snow is around.
>>4786985>duringWink at Sansa and Arya>afterAsk the hound how we did
>>4786975Oh we're got other allies, but why not get another one who can't be bought to betray us.
>>4787002I like the idea of asking the hound for his review
>>4786985>>4786987+1 I would say.Also keep an eye on Bran.Don't want the little shit to get towered yet.
>>4786985>DuringSee if we can go for the disarm, that should make our skill evident.>AfterBe a gracious victor, flip our sweaty hair like we're in a boyband for the ladies present. We'll have to do this shirtless next time. Maybe propose a two-on-two. Us and Robb vs. Theon and Jon. Or something, I'm not married to sides.
>>4787002Almost certainly "fat little boys playing with sticks. Cunts."
>>4786975The only reason roberts bros had a chance at the throne was because >joff and cersei completely fucked up with the north>cersei slutting it up with her brother came to light>evidence that joff was a bastard came out>joff was a little faggotSo long as we maintain a good relationship with the north and keep cersei from being retarded(or we kill her), we won’t give anyone a reason to rebel. We already destroyed the most damning evidence against us
>>4787009Then our response would be enourmous amounts or laughter and wheezing, and asking him to go drinking later tonight.
>>4787002>Ask the hound how we did>"Piss poor. Don't dance around so much and just gut whichever fuck you're fighting."That's my guess.
>>4787002>>4787005>>4786985I like the idea of getting Sandor's feedback.
>>4787009And afterwards he eats all the chickens in Winterfell.
>>4787010This. We need to be diplomatic. >>4787002Ask the hound for sure.
>>4786985>Be gracious with Robb. It's a close match so let's see if there's anything we can learn from him>Complement Ser Cassel on Robb's training>Shoot a couple of smiles at Arya and Sansa (and Myrcella) while we fight>Ask the Hound for his review
>>4786985Wink at Myrcella after winning
>>4787054This'll work for me instead of mine >>4787007
>>4786976You're just making shit up to justify your waifu
>>4787007>>4787054+1, we gotta make the ladies swoon.
>>4787069I am, and you can't stop me
>>4787054I'll back it
>>4787080so everyone can just ignore your bullshit
>>4786962And you have to be brain dead to think she would tell the truth and not something that makes her seem good in regards to killing the king.
>>4787089>another retarded showfagshe never admits shit in the books
>>4786985>>4786987>>4787007+1 to these.
>>4787080Then you best believe you're going to cause spite voting.
Where are Cat and Cersei?
>>4787102yeah retard cuz it has not gotten to that point yet. Try rubbing your two braincells together to make a thought.I mean do you really think that the lady who came to control one of the most powerful houses in Westeros will be happy having her daughter play second fiddle to some willful king, or ruling over the weak willed brother?
>>4787110Kissing .... tehehehehehehehehehe
>>4787114Having loud and angry lesbian sex, they spilt the chamber pot accidentally while scissoring each other so now there is a very bad smell in Cat and Ned's bedchambers where they are doing it.
>>4787110>including both your mothers who stand beside one another and speak softly, too low and distant from where you stand to hear.
>>4787118Could you imagine ... haha
>>4787113I think Cat is more of a reactionary than a player, and that she'll be fine with whatever the men in her life tell her to do. You saw it with Ned and you saw it with Rob.>>4787118Now that would be amusing.
>>4787113She can't have her grandaughter ruling over anything with Tywin and Kevan alive and grooming Tommen to be a good king. She couldn't know they will be killed, so spare us your shitty show fanfiction.
>>4787132You could, you know, plot. The kind of thing powerful people do. Make a plan that unfolds over years not just a single thread.
>>4787139M'boi the only plot I know is the one I grow my beets on. Now pick up that shovel and chase the village retard away, he's chewing on the fence again.
Showfags have to be banned from quest.
what is happening, why are you fighting?
>>4787158I hate braindead margfags who want to get us killed.
>>4787158They want that Cersei/Cat fanfic and they want it now.
>>4787121I'm blind. Got it. Sorry.
>>4787157easyanybody reply to this post with the correct sentence on page 29 line 12 of book 4 to prove they're a bookfag IDif you fail to do this in the allotted time then clearly the anon does not have the books
>>4787163>t. retarded showfag
>>4787158One autist pissed off another autist. Unfortunately one of them frequents /pol/ or stole wojacks from s0iddit or twatter. This is the same as when anons were arguing about killing Gendry for no reason other than for spite. Its pathetic. >>4787164Based coomanon.
>>4787054+1 (especially at Myrcella. Remind her who dispenses the headpats here)Btw why does he get a +10 to his roll and we none? Are we that bad?
>>4787166Dude what if people got their shit from a library and had to bring it back?
>>4787174idk fuck the poor lmao
>>4787166I only have a storm of swords on hand, would you like something from that?
>>4787158Quick post more updates to distract them!
>>4787166Too bothersome. They are easy to spot just like wojack posting schizo.
>>4787174"You want the good girl, but you need the bad pussy" - Night King to FAegon on their wedding day with Euron being the one who weds them.
>>4787158It's the 'tism mi'lord. Terrible thing it is! Once they start there's no stoppin'em
>>4787166"He seldom slept beneath a castle roof, and never so far from the sea. “Comforts I shall..."
>nobody actually has the bookseverything becomes explain
>>4787174If you are a burger go to a peaceful protest in black and go protest near the library. Ez.
We should advertise this quest on /got/ threads in /tv/ like WhatIs advertises his quest on /a/.Also, who's up for a Theon SI rape quest on akun?
THATS IT THE RAT GETS IT
>>4787188alright everyone has to listen to this anon's opinions i think that's how it works now
>>4787158People refuse to filter users whose posts aren't worth reading
STOP THIS MADNESS IN THE NAME OF YOUR KING
>>4787200I really hope it's not your rat, anon.
>>4787197How do you walk around with a brain that big, anon? Damn.
>>4787173We are supposed to be taller than him. The starks have a seething manlet moment in the books
>>4787208This is my rat
>>4787201I graciously accept your fealty, Ser Anon.
>>4787215yeah and that the moment is called game of thrones
>>4787208>>4787218These are mine.
Looks like there's already a sort of Theon SI rape quest on akun. It has 100,000 words but it's on hiatus now. Who knows, maybe it's Trick himself. What now?
>>4787240Link please, for educational purposes
>>4787188Are you the qm now?
>>4787240Trick had a better Westeros rape quest. It's not even close.
>>4787245I'll let Trick carry on. If I were QM updates would be much less frequent. I only write fast under extreme deadlines.
>>4787251I can't find it, pretty sure Trick ended up getting banned from Akun(which is where it was), but this happened a long time after I last spoke with him.
https://fiction.live/stories/The-Iron-Price/r9PETjgJnnkWxfYngNo canon characters we've seen yet though.
>>4787261How did Trick get banned from akun? Akun allows everything. Even loli if you say "she's actually 18-3000 years old". Did he write unironic loli rape porn?
>>4787218I love Dragon Quest
so is Robb a pedo in this quest? because Myrcella is what, ten years old? kind of creepy flirting with a ten year old.
>>4787272Yes I did.And I also made a joke about having a quest with loli in it removed from akun, because the loli ban was never enforced. And then my account got absolutely scrubbed from the internet and over 500,000 words of writing were destroyed by the same guy who ran My Brother's Machine and Dragon Slayer Quest so if you could all do me a favor and not participate in Dragon Slayer Quest and also downvote it on suptg if you could because fuck the QM who runs that shit.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=dragon+slayer>>4787173It's more like he gets a +40 and you get a +30, but there's no point to inflate the numbers.
>>4787272Per the only person I played Velo-quest with and still talk to:>He was such a shitposter he got banned from a porn quest site>Because the mods hated his guts>And he started putting the mods as character to get fucked>In his quests
>>4787279I will do that when the next update comes pink swear, I will even down vote the fate coomer quest if you update more frequently.
>>4787280I made the QM of Dragon Slayer quest a pokemon in my pokemon smut quest.He was a porygon
>>4787279Did you end up doing lolishit? I remember when you were writing Mills in Westeros that was the only thing you refused to do.
>>4787283You put way too much effort into that shit. I just tell people they're going to die crying and get on with my day.
Immediately, the onlookers are cheering and whooping as you and Robb rush forward to clash your swords against one another at the center of the ring, the initial crash of wood nearly splintering your respective weaponry. The younger squires and knights who came along with the King’s train chant your name and scream out mostly inaudible pointers from the sidelines, playing the roles of backseat swordsmen as you duel the Northerner. The locals cheer for Robb as do his two younger brothers and sister Arya. You can hear Myrcella praising his prowess as well with every exchange that ends with the auburn-haired older boy having the upper hand in your contest. On the flipside, Sansa claps gracefully with every successful blow you deliver to her older brother, whereas Tommen simply shouts “Go Joffy!” to encourage your success.While you don’t have much attention to spare not focusing on the fight, you do shoot Arya, Sansa and Myrcella smiles which border on flirtation throughout the confrontation. And only once are you punished for your distraction, Robb smacking you upside the head with his weapon. “I’m the Stark you’re fighting, Your Grace,” he japes, “My sister can test her hand in the ring against you next if you’d prefer.” That brings a blush to your cheeks as well as Sansa’s and draws laughter from the crowd. Mayhaps your somewhat taunting words earlier implicating how you wanted to bone his sister got the eldest of the Stark children a bit too heated, because his form feels passionate but ultimately sloppy as he aims to clumsily beat some humility into you with his fake wooden blade.Not that you’re putting on your best performance either. You’ve drilled to the bone the whole way up here and never really got a real moment’s rest to recuperate. You’re also slightly tired from having rode on horseback to get here in comparison to your opponent who simply had to shave his face and take a bath to look and smell good for your arrival at his house.Still, you feel proud of your massive improvement since the day you sparred against Ser Loras with Gendry’s assistance on your birthday. Your reaction time is far quicker as are your instincts for personal combat, watching the body language of your adversary for his next move so you can parry or dodge out of the way with the skillful grace of a dancer. You employ several of the techniques you developed practicing with Ser Jaime and while King Robert’s advice isn’t quite so helpful for your own form, the practice with the massive man did prepare you for an opponent utilizing his more impressive strength and size against you. See, even though you’re taller than the Manlet in the North, he’s far thicker and more powerful, the bulging muscles granted to him by his teenage testosterone levels giving him an advantage over your far weaker preteen physicality.
>>4787286Gods we were strong then. Does anyone have the old Mill quests archived somewhere?
>>4787290no its lost like tears in rain along with several of my other quests.All because I gave DM-Casual - QM of Dragon Slayer Quest - a little bit of shit.
>>4787292God there's so much of this garbage. Was this before or after the cosmicwatcher qm stalking other qms bullshit?
>>4787292thats fucking bull shit fucking soft cocks ruining everything
Could prime bobby b take down the mountain 1v1?
>>4787288Keep going QM berry gud
>>4787283Based as fuck.Normally I'd worry about a QM getting irritated when a quest contains as much boar-related shitposting and autistic whining as this one but somehow I doubt it'll throw you off.Now hurry up and write the Myrcella smut scene we're all waiting for.
>>4787318That depends. Is it before or after the Mountain rapes someone? He gets the 10x powerboost from being absolute scum whenever he does anything evil.
>>4787351The mountain with Margery cartwheeling around his dick vs. prime bobby b is fully boozed and boarmounted.
>>4787358I think that clash would sink the continent before they finished fighting.
>>4787351Bobby b who has just heard rhaegar perform a soliloquy about the taste of lyannas mingevs The mountain after a rousing night of rape and murder in an orphanage
>>4787360Then we should build a wooden platform out at sea for them
>>4787364>tfw anon takes an unfriendly hypothetical duel and turns it into an extinction eventBro chill chill!
But skill and discipline trump brute strength this day and over the course of many bouts which go back and forth for several grueling minutes at a time, you slip your glorified stick in under Robb’s own blows to make contact more often than he manages the reverse or succeeds in powering through your defense to smack you hard. Every hit that would be a killing blow on a real battlefield elicits a shout from Ser Rodrik Cassel for you two to stop and begin again from neutral starting positions. While no one is keeping score since this is not an official competition of any sorts and Rodrik turns the whole spectacle into a series of teaching moments for the both of you, leaning in to his experience as an instructor of swordsmanship to give pointers on what each of you has done wrong in between rounds, it becomes clear over the course of dozens of engagements that you are the better swordsman this day - if only marginally so.“Alright that’s enough Robb,” you here an only slightly familiar voice speak solemnly, which cuts through the din of the noisy congregation and reaches the ears of your sparring partner. The young wolf turns to see his father and yours having returned from the crypt - the two most powerful men in the castle walking side by side, their vigil held for the long dead and buried complete as well as whatever private talks they might have had down their underground in the damp, dark, cold earth. Eddard looks stern as always, but Robert is sporting a wide grin at watching the tail end of your antics. Ser Rodrik steps into the middle of the ring to ensure you don’t choose to go at it again in violation of his lord’s express command to cease the spar. “Look at them,” the King remarks, “just like us in our youth.” Eddard flashes a rare smile. “Not quite. Robb’s faring much better than I ever did against you.” Robert roars with laughter, smacking his old pal on the back as the sea of flesh and steel parts for their approach.The Lady of Winterfell steps forward to speak to her son. “You need to wash up again now for the King’s welcoming feast. Go.” The auburn-haired lad bows before his mom’s command. “Yes Mother.” He turns back towards you to bow again before leaving and you speak your piece to the teenager. “It was a good spar. Your master-at-arms trained you well, Robb. I’ve learned much today from our duel.” The stocky manlet shoots you a genuine smile in response to your compliment. “Your father wasn’t kidding,” he feels secure enough in the results of your friendly enough altercation to reply. “You may just be the fiercest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms, Your Grace . . . someday.” His smile turns mischievous and you mirror his with a smirk of your own.Robb Stark rushes back to the Great Keep to bathe himself before dinner while you fix the older master-at-arms with your green eyes. “Thank you, Ser Rodrik, for humoring us children.”
He bows. “Give Ser Aron Santagar my regards when you return to the Red Keep, Your Grace. He has trained you well.”The Queen clears her throat. “All of us who have spent our morning on the road should see about refreshing ourselves too.”As the crowd starts to scatter, getting back to the busy work of setting up appropriate lodgings for the King and his retinue, you call the Hound to heel as the squires assist in removing your padded armor. The looming burnt figure approaches, his expression largely unreadable. “So, what did you think, Sandor?”“I think children and women play with sticks,” he speaks honestly. “Real warriors fight with edged steel.”The Hound having given you his less than stellar review of your practice fight, you go about readying yourself for the feast. You’ll be escorting Sansa as it begins. Is there anything you wish to say to the pretty little bird when you do?>Write-in
>>4786458There should be, I’m sick of all the dragonspawn quests, like every oc house always has to be a targ offshoot with the meme hair/eyes and a special valyrian sword or some shit.
>>4787429>“I think children and women play with sticks,”Well it's a good thing we're both still kids. Sandor always has the most astute of observations. Good man.I don't really have anything to say to Sansa. Do we have to make small talk? Could ask her if she likes to read. Or. Something. Sing? Man, women are hard.
>>4787438Ask her if the carpet matches the drapes then honk her tit, if it works for dad it’ll work for us
>>4787438We could stare at her and smile while baring all of our teeth for one straight minute without talking.
>>4787429Ask how she felt about our spar.
>>4787429>>Write-incall her beautiful and stare into her eyes(only kinda creepily)
>>4787438Tell her a boar is more fuckable than her ugly ginger ass
>>4787449fuck it changing to this
>>4787429>Compliment her on her looks. Make small talk.
>>4787429>>Write-incall her beautiful and stare into her eyes(very creepily)
Don't say anything just pin her down in an empty hallway and fuck.
>>4787429>Write-indon't be weird
Where the hell were all you fun people when we were trying to bone Cersei?
>>4787429Fuck, it's a blind date. We have literally no shared experiences to talk about. >Read any good books lately? The last one I read was so dull we burned it to ashes. >Holy crap the North is big. You could have a Dragon hiding up here and I don't think anyone would ever find out. >What do you do up here for fun? Hunting? We should go together sometime, I bet you'd be good at riding down a Stag.
>>4787431So all of 2 quests out of the like 20 houses that have been generated? Those two just had the most active QMs.
>>4787465There are more quests on other sites
>>4787429Polite small talk only. >>4787462Like this, lol. Maybe not the last one. Although I bet it would fly over Sansa's head. She's not very smart yet.We're keeping our options open.Dont be weird.
>>4787449+1Ask her if she likes boar.
>>4787462Yeah this is the way to go
>>4787429ask her if she's ever seen a proper tournament and promise to show her one when we're back in king's landing.Sansa's all about the knightly bullshit.
>>4787462>>4787429Support. WOW GRAPE QM
>>4787469Then yeah that's probably fair. Isn't there an autistically long one about Viserys?
>>4787429>call her beautiful and stare into her eyes (lovingly)
>>4787462This.But change stagtoBOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRR
>>4787477We should only spill spaghetti for Benjen or the Night King.
>>4787479Yes, I think it’s about him sailing to Old Valyria but it is a chore to read
>>4787458QM don't pump your own polls, that's the wrong kind of lewd.
>>4787429>Compliment her on her beauty and her dress>Apologize for the earlier remark about fucking her if it offended her, we're just boys being boys>Ask her about her interests, what does she like to do, what does one do for fun up here, etc.
>>4787485different ID, different tripcode. Could be Elsweyr posting from a different device, but probably a troll.
>>4787429>call arya beautiful and stare into her eyes over sansas shoulder
>>4787479>>4787484No he's probably talking about the 5 million words long 'A Sword Without A Hilt' on Sufficient Velocity where Viserys STILL hasn't conquered Westeros.
>>4787429>ensure every tower has curtains in their windows.
>>4787494>5 million words>The entire A Song of Ice and Fire series (so far) – 1,770,000 words.
>>4787492>Could be Elsweyr posting from a different device, but probably a trollTroll-ish, I left it on here cause I was testing something with him in another place.
>>4787492Fair. Unless it's the same trip-code and QM is phone posting and accidentally added a space to the end of the trip code. >>4787500well fuck. I thought All Guardsman Party was a read.
>>4787485>>4787492You silly... Thread n°2 had twenty Elsweyr. Even better, the QM is Trick
>>4787506forgot about that my dude.
>>4787429>Ask her about Winterfell's famed hotsprings.>>4786458I would run a bobby b inspired character. Seems like endless material to me. >>4787431I can't speak for quests on other sites because I haven't read any of them, but Malroy at least felt fairly novel and toned down (no sword, interesting take on the horses, etc.) when it started in 2015. Shryke is Shryke.
>>4787429>Show bob and vagene pretty lady.Or just be charming and gallant and make polite small talk without leading her on.
>>4787429Ask her to SHOW ME AROUND the hot springs after dinner
>>4787518All the Boar friends would play it. I know I would.
I HATE DORNISH WOMENI HATE ESSOSI WOMEN
>>4787523What a coincidence. For I, too, hate dossohi women.
>>4787518Don’t know how an actual bobby b quest would go. Like would robert still simp for lyanna? Pretty sure based on other quests anons would vote to fuck the shit out of cersei 24/7 instead.
>>4787429Before the feast starts can we ask Jamie and Sandor in private to get their hands on the king beyond the wall mance ryder posing as a singer for I think Skagos I need to look it up though.
>>4787523Dornish women are all whores.Essosi women are saboteurs.
>>4787528Disregard all women, autistically acquire gains.
Sansachads we have to step in and vote for sensible choices lest these mischief-makers ruin our relationship with her just to spite us. I suggest >>4787490
>>4787523Who are we sending to kill the Sand Snakes when the time comes?
>>4787537I didn't know Sansafags were simps. If you want to fuck a lady don't sissy fru fru around it. Geez just tell her "I likes ya, and I wants ya.". It ain't hard.
>>4787537Sansa was already creaming herself over canon sperg joff, calling her beautiful will probably work, maybe
>>4787429Everyone is saying we should chat her up, but what we really need to do is build a rapport.Encourage Sansa to speak her own mind when she's with us. We aren't just a very sexy young man and potential husband, we're her friend.Convince her she can totally trust us.Totally.
>>4787537>recommending YOUR OWN postAre Sansacels really this pathetic?
>>4787542Trust is like a ladder. Yeah it'll hold you up but then some shit-ass fucking kid comes by and shakes the thing and you fall to your death.
>>4787528Fuck that. I would pull Roland Crakehall aside in the throne room right after the Sack and arrange a Crakehall match before anyone can say a thing. Strong sons.
>>4787539We’ll seduce them with our sexy body, then after a night of passion we whip out the crossbow and start blasting
>>4787532Btw I totally forgot about this, but yeah, we should be having a long talk with Mance. Either we reach a deal or we kill him. This should be priority number 1 even above my love for Sansa.
>>4787490Yeah sure lets do thisBut dont talk about fucking her like some grade A+ ape. Christ above you are autistic.
>>4787546So this is the famed eloquence of the Margaeryfags.
>>4787523Same. Well, maybe a nice Lyseni or pureblooded Volantene girl.
>>4787549>Wanting used goods
>>4787553I am a stout Sandorfag and I will not have you defame me thus, churl. Retract your absurd claim or I will piss myself in your living room.
>>4787532>>4787532>>4787429Oh shit. Mance Rayder is in town. We should definitely talk to the man but there's no need to start things off with any aggression - we're the crown prince, just invite the man to sing for us. Perhaps he has heard songs from the people north of the wall. And once we've teased the man a little just straight up ask him what it's like living amongst the Free Folk and watch him shit bricks.
>>4787555Your right, but do you think that matters to anons, half of them want to fuck cersei after all.New plan, same as before, except we make sure the sex room is pitch black then send in a newly recruited hodor in our place. Kick the door in the next morning and let loose with the crossbow, hodors thick hide will protect him from any damage.
>>4787559Nuh uh, what we do is tell Sandor that Mikael the Bard has to die.
>>4787562I specifically voted to fuck Cersei because an anon took House Redwyne's good name in vain.
>>4787559I hope we can convince him to take his Wildlings and move to the lands outside of Braavos and Lorath, and never bother us proper people again.If we get the ships he can get them on em I hope.
>>4787567>not voting to shit and piss yourself in protest
>>4787559Oh fuck, Mance Ryder!!! We can foil the whole war if we get him killed!!!I am forfeiting my meme >>4787498 vote towards>Look for Mance Rayder during the feast and denounce him to the lords present. Either by subterfuge or appealing to our (small) authority, we need him chained.Mance is a slender man and of middling height, but broader in the chest and shoulders and taller than Rattleshirt. His long brown hair has gone mostly to gray, and laughter lines appear at the corners of his mouth. Mance has a sharp face with shrewd brown eyes.
So if Bran doesn't become a cripple will he still become the 3-eyed raven? I assume if Hodor exists he must. But how would he even leave winterfell if the war of the five kings doesnt happen and Theon doesnt chimp out?
>>4787577simple, he doesn't. The raven called him in his sleep while he was comatose. I don't think the raven will call him if he isn't maimed.
>>4787518Redpill me on Malroy. It got mixed reactions last thread.
>>4787576I mean we literally know his identity right now as Abel the Bard. (Very funny wordplay on Bael the Bard, another wilding who stole the Stark King's daughter. Haha, Mance.)
>>4787569>Reversing the Andal invasion by sending an army of first men barbarians into Andaloskek where do I sign up?
>>4787577Last time Trick ran a quest like the fact that Bran didn't get crippled was a huge issue for us, but nobody seems to care about it.
>>4787579Any reason the raven can’t call him in a dream?
>>4787559>>4787576Ok. Assuming that we find him- what the fuck can we do to get Mance busted?
>>4787587I think the raven won't bother, because bran is normal without being a cripple
>>4787583I'm afraid you'll start reading it then we won't see you update for a month while you go down that rabbit hole.
>>4787558>Admitting to urinary incontinencebaka
>>4787588bullshi-ing, get him sent to the wall to be inspected there by rangers. He will be in a dungeon while some rangers are recalled so every member of the watch gets a look at him. Them he will remain chained while the rangers capture wildings for them to look at Mance and recognize him. If no one knows mance, he will remain in the dungeon even longer while the rangers capture even more wildings...
>>4787588Ask him to sing to us of the Wildlings, then ask him what it's like to live Beyond the Wall.
>>4787594>implying the ability to piss on command isn't peak self-controlAfter so many days having to take piss tests it is my only true skill.
>>4787576Ned should remember his face. We just have to call hom out.
>>4787588We ask him what's up with Tormund Giantsbane. Has he recruited Harma Dogshead yet? Varamyr Sixskins is a tricky one, how's his luck been in that regard? Oh by the way, Dalla is about to die soon. If he wants to know how to prevent it, we better come to a deal. Most importantly, we know what's coming for all of us, and we believe it. We can only defeat it together. If he tries to cross the wall, he will be very easily defeated. But if he helps us defend the wall, maybe he and his people can find a place in the realm we'll be ruling very soon.
Jesus christ you motherfucker are wordy today
>>4787588You tell we
>>4787602We need to take Lady's head and give it to Sansa. That will make her like us.
>>4787602>you motherfuckerGlad you recognize all 5k posts across your threads are 1 samefag.
>>4787597Sunk like the Greyjoys are going be.
>>4787610no I was talking about your deleted post but sure.
>>4787608We need to give lady head and tell it to Sansa. THAT will make her like us.
>>4787429Adding another vote>Pet her direwolf, Lady
>>4787562Cersei is cringe but the Sand Snakes are a whole lower level of low. Have some standards anon.
Alright I re-read the section and he I just some unnamed singer who rode in with us and sits in the back of the hall.If we point this out to NED an HIS BROTHER, they should be able to recognize him again and get the peace talks underway.S E E M Y P O S TEEM Y P O S TY
>>4787611No shit Sherlock.>>4787614>>4787429Bonus if it's a headpat.
>>4787617>S E E M Y P O S T>E>E>M Y P O S T>YSemen post.
>>4787617not the worst of ideas
>>4787610It's all fun and games until Euron shows up
Dornish genocide when?
>>4787617I don't think Ned will recognise a Night's Watch brother he saw once. Benjen, maybe, but Mance was posted at Shadow Tower and Benjen was at Castle Black or beyond the wall on rangings.
>>4787617Theb we can bone Benjen, right?
>>4787623He still came to visit them at least once in Jons childhood, and it is very likely that Benjen has had closer dealings with him.
>>4787429Ask her to introduce us to her "handsome uncle Benjen">>4787520Also this
>>4787622But how will we deal with our craving for bad pussy without dorn?
>>4787629Considering how much of a faggot Elsweyr is, it's plenty in character
>>4787628Genocide the men, keep the woman to tend to our 'sword'.
>>4787633nuh uh Elsweyr is a based Sansachad
>>4787635Put your trip back on you piece of human garbage
mance benjen joffrey threesome convince me otherwise? you can'tdestiny awaits
>>4787636Lmaoing at this idiot
>>4787635Sansimp you mean.
>>4787642Not that cuck
>>4787644I said what I said buckaroo
>>4787647And I corrected you correctly friendo.
>>4787642It's what this playerbase deserves, but I fear Trick has gone soft>>4787640Not even denying it I see
>>4787648I'm tasting some salt here
>>4787651Strange tastes for no reason sounds like a good reason to visit a dentist.
>>4787656I suppose you'd know all about that
>>4787659How did you know I am a certified hygienist? I need to step up my security.
>>4787651>>4787656It's semen, so stop sucking each other off and fight like real men like Loras and Renly.
>>4787661But Loras and Renly are both fictional characters.
Fucking hell. I just want to recruit Jon Snow onto the Team, bring him south, and eventually draft him into the Whitecloaks.
>>4787660>I need to step up my security.Do you? I'd wager the only sort of danger you face is arse banditry
>>4787664ok fine geeze have your husband too
>>4787664Now that would be amusing.
>>4787666>satan talking about sodomyChecks out.
>>4787666Trips of Truth.>>4787663Now get a room you two ass blasters, and stop fucking up the thread.
>>4787673>and stop fucking up the thread.My man if it was possible for two people having a spat to make this thread any shittier this wouldn't be the quest that it is.
>>4787664why? he isn't a particularly exceptional warrior
>>4787675It'll be funny as hell having the legitimate heir to the Seven Kingdoms serving and protecting us with his life as his king.
>>4787664does jon have any particular skill besides being trained and educated as nobility?
>>4787678just let him have his husbando
>>4787670It would be a baller move! Jon's pretty top tier as a swordsman, he pays attention to everything around him, and we'd have our own pet Targaryen on a leash ready to ride a dragon for us if we ever capture one. Who needs that northern bullshit. We can let Mance Rayder and his wildlings in and put them in charge of holding the wall until we're ready to Wildfire the shit out of the North.
>>4787580It's worth the read and most of the criticisms I've seen of it are off the mark.
>>4787680look at this devotionhow could any soulful man deny such love?
>>4787678But anon, the amount of things we can vote for are limited as well as how much can the QM write. I'd rather have him writing about killing a redwyne and marrying a boar rather than having gendry and jon in the same room
>>4787681Its dead, unfinished and there are no plans to finish it.That's reason enough to not read it.
>>4787678He can function as a normal human despite knowing nothing
>>4787678He's the latest fruit borne from Bloodraven's eugenics project.
>>4787686>different name>different tripcode???
>>4787691Changed your name in that thread and your trip in the next. Don't try to weasel the "trick" into TrickQM here, you sly dog. We're wise to your devilish machinations now.
>>4787693someone help this poor anon
Why did robert and company spare the ironborn instead of putting them all to the sword? What exactly do they contribute to the kingdom, besides rape and murder?
>>4787664JS is a retard
>>4787705so he'll fit right in
>>4787698something something I am not targaryen. Probably
>>4787698Asha's salty cunt
>>4787462Backing these, haha
>>4787722Bitch, when I samefag, I samefag with CONTENT.
>>4787680>>4787664Yes I fully support this. Though Ned will probably try to stop it.
>>4787735>>4787680Jon ia too much of an asset for the night's watch. Let him go north so they have someone that isn't a worthless rapist.
>>4787735Actually, if Ned comes south as the King's Hand, I'd bet he'd be much happier to have Jon come along, rather than take the Black like he did in the OTL.>>4787737On the one hand, you're not wrong that the Watch is a shitstain, but on the other, we can make a deal with Mance, and we will probably wind up a whole shitload of rebels we can send to the Wall here in a few threads. Cultivates us a reputation for mercy, throws more bodies in front of the white walkers... it's a win win.
Leaving the courtyard behind, you are guided by some of Winterfell’s servants into the innermost castle and stronghold of the entire complex, passing by a small sept as you are led into the Great Keep where your temporary chambers are located. The granite walls around you are unusually warm, heated as you are well aware thanks to your extensive knowledge of the books by the natural hot springs upon which the structure is built.Diamond shaped window panes in your bedroom provide access for the sunlight streaming in and you notice your outfits have already been organized for you to wear during your stay.After a short bath in some scalding hot water pumped up just minutes prior to your arrival from down below, you dress in the usual finery suited for your royal personage. In addition to your standard outfit, however, you wear a high velvet collar and a golden choker round your neck which matches the bouncy blonde curls dangling stylishly from your scalp. Ready for dinner now, you exit and search out Sansa’s room. Rapping your knuckles upon her door, the young redhead greets you with a bashful smile and a curtsy, garbed in a brilliant blue gown to match her eyes. “Your Grace,” she speaks as you proffer the Stark girl your arm. “My lady,” you reply as she takes it with all the modesty expected of a highborn lass. Together, the two of you exit the Great Keep and stride towards Winterfell’s Great Hall, its walls made of grey stone. The wide doors made of oak and iron are thrown open and the raucous noise of voices emanates from within along with half a hundred lit flames. Outside, the various members of the Baratheon and Stark family are linked together as ceremony demands - Lord Stark with Queen Cersei, Lady Stark with King Robert, Robb with Princess Myrcella and Arya with Prince Tommen.Upon your arrival, latest of the bunch, Lord Eddard begins the procession, escorting the Lannnister lioness into his dining hall. As this happens, you turn your head to gaze at Sansa, drinking in the beauty of her elegant, youthful features.She shivers beneath your gaze, before mustering the courage to meet your stare.“You’re immaculate,” you compliment the not-yet-woman. “And your outfit an exquisite match for your beauty.“Y-you look quite gallant, Your Grace. In armor as well as silks and gold,” she specifies, noting your earlier presence sparring in the yard.You smile at her. “Have you read any good books lately? The last one I read was so dull we burned it to ashes.” The two of you share a giggle while King Robert and Catelyn Stark enter the Great Hall. “I read a story I quite liked about a dashing noble from the Isle of Stormgrave with a sordid history who saved his lady love from a den of pirates in the Stepstones. Aurion and Argella it was called.”You chuckle. “Sounds exciting, but I think our story will be far better.”“O-our story?” Sansa echoes, confused but excited.
“Venturing through the North, of course,” you explain, subverting her expectations. “Seven hells, the North is so large and vast. A dragon could be hiding up here and I don’t think anyone would ever find it.” The naive noble girl titters as Rickon and Bran enter the dining hall next at Robb’s insistence. “Some of the smallfolk believe it’s an ice dragon beneath Winterfell which heats the springs pumping through the castle walls.”“Ah!” you exclaim. “So you’re the one hiding my dragon.”“You’ve caught me!” the girl replies, playing along with your jape. “What do you do for fun here?” you ask in a more serious tone while Robb escorts your younger sister Myrcella inside, the former grinning like a fool while the latter smiles up at him timidly. “Hunting? We should go together sometime, I bet you'd be good at riding down a Stag.”“Oh no,” she denies with a shake of her head, missing your double entendre completely. “I like music and poetry, singing and dancing, embroidery - but mayhaps if I brought Lady along she could help you out on a stag hunt, Your Grace.”“Your pet direwolf, correct?” you pose a question you know the answer to while Arya, in a sudden gender role reversal, is the one who drags Tommen practically off his feet inside the Great Keep so she can escape from hearing any more of the insipid topics of conversation you’re sharing with her older sister - the experience of being even tangentially subjected to it the worst form of torture the younger, tomboy Stark girl can possibly imagine.Sansa nods her head exuberantly. “Yes, but don’t worry, Your Grace, she isn’t savage like the other pups. Lady is a well bred wolf.”You smirk. “Just like you.” She blushes.You’re alone. >Kiss Sansa>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.>Other (write-in)
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.Let her be the one wishing for more.
>>4787752>Play on her fantasies by locking eyes and making it like your going to kiss her.>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.Better to make her chase you than then other way around. This is going to be fun.
>>4787752>>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.Bruh some fags are gonna take advantage of you. Use ya brains gurl.
The S*nsafags are getting too cocky. What the fuck do we do, bros?
>>4787767Have you considered voting?
>>4787748>I read a story I quite liked about a dashing noble from the Isle of StormgraveKek.>>4787752>>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.Time to do what we do best and force character development.
>>4787767I dunno, looks like all of 'em went to sleep. They're currently getting BTFO by Team Margaery, Team Redwyne, Team Cersei and Team Gendry.
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.>Ask her to introduce us to her handsome uncle, Benjen
>>4787773This, we're not getting another shot at Benjen, it's now or never
>>4787752>>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can beginNot just our duty, but we aren't stupid either, don't make any unwelcome moves.
>>4787785I don't think it'll be unwelcome mate.
>>4787789I thought you meant Sansa.
>>4787790I should have worded it as inappropriate.
>>4787773+1, let’s do it again :)
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.Kinda want to tell her to grow up, but now is not the time.
>>4787791Probably. I wouldn't sweat it too much though, it seems all the Sansanons are either asleep or want to take it slow.
>>4787752>Escort Sansa.... but with flirty hand holding.
>>4787785changing to >>4787797
Why do people simp for Sansa, when the best Stark, Benjen is still perfectly on the table?
>>4787796I’m a Sansafag, but we shouldn’t be kissing a girl we just met, after her auntie just got decapitated by our dad. Take it slow.
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.>Ask her to introduce us to her handsome uncle, BenjenCATCH THE KING
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.I kinda feel bad for flirting with her, now. She's still in fairy tale world and we're callously letting old men be poisoned.
>>4787773>>4787752Its timeBenjen gang rise up
>>4787815>>4787816lolretarded schizo samefag
>>4787752>>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.>>4787816>>4787815Lol, samefag af
This only proves my earlier suspicion that non-Sansafags are eurofags and third-world poorfags. Sansachads (other than me) are enjoying their blissful 8 hours of sleep.
>>4787752>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.>Other (write-in)Continue with your small talks. Does Lady know any tricks? Does she like to be scratched at the nap of her neck, or likes going on hunts?God I love your autistic assholes. This quest is great.
>>4787816>>4787815Benjenfags samefag confirmed. Just for that, I'll vote to go for the kiss.>Kiss Sansa
>>4787752I too want to hear more about Lady. Direwolves are a cute, and bitches love talking about their animals.This will also provide an opportunity to befriend Arya by involving her in the conversation and asking to be introduced to their wolves.
>>4787815>>4787816Putting the "fag" in samefag, I see.
>>4787829>inb4 the wolves sense our malicious intent and attack us
>>4787829Arya already fucking bounced my lad.
>>4787835I think he meant in future conversations lad.
>>4787823i also support talking about the stark direwolvessmall talks is always good
>>4787806>>4787815Oh shit, just realized it was you, Mr. TormentQM. Sneaky sneaky.
>>4787841Do we get a Fate point by pointing this shit out? If so, Benjen may have an unfortunate accident with his 'sword'...
>>4787836We do NOT talk about the future goddammit.
>>4787752Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.
>>4787845Couldn't tell you man. I'm just the guy who owns the books.
yo guys is it possible to get a dragon egg for ourself?
>>4787875One of Dany's? Probably not, no. But if we want to try to find one, we should check Red Lake, the Ruins of Summerhall, the Mountains of the Moon, Dragonstone, and the Crypts here at Winterfell.
>>4787818For catching and shaming the samefag into deleting his post, you have earned yourself a fate point good sir.
>>4787752>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.Take it slow.
>Sansachad gets a Fate pointHold me bros... Use it wisely brother. And soon, before you lose it like the previous guy who didn't even get to use his.
>>4787893it's bound to your ID, so it goes away when we reach the next thread anyway because anyone can claim to be any ID from the previous thread
damn, knew I should have called out the samefag
>>4787883Thanks!>>4787893I will.>>4787895No worries. There are still around 1000 posts left on this thread.
>>4787895I can prove you wrong with one simple trick. QMs hate this. tripfagging
>>4787901Anybody got any ideas on how to best utilize the Fate point? Based Sansanon can choose from the best or go full autism mode over it, but I'd rather not have a repeat showing of autism.
>inb4 dynamic IP
>>4787906Time to finish off Gendry
>>4787910No chance fucker
>>4787912Time to finish off Petyr?
>>4787906they should do what I want and not what you want
>>4787912Time to teleport Daenerys directly onto our 11 inch dragon tamer in the middle of the feast?
Just an idea, but how about convincing Mance Rayder beyond doubt that we're his allies in the coming war for the dawn?
>>4787918actually I like this suggestion more
>>4787919if we did that the North would definitely feel shitty about it. They fucking hate wildlings.so we'd need to get the North on our side with by bringing Northern noble heirs to King's Landing so we can win their friendship and loyalty.
>>4787919That's probably the most practical use it'd have for us as far as NPCs we're certain to meet ITT. I do think LF and Renly are more pressing concerns at the moment though.
>>4787923So you mean that would piss them off but marrying Sansa would salve their wounded pride?
>>4787921lol, this isnt akun
>>4787881I don't know where those are, but I'm all for trying to find one.
>>4787752>>Kiss SansaIf we do we should chew mint before. Let's use one of Littlefinger's tricks that we know, works on Tully girls. Only if, though. Don't consider this as a vote.>>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.Considering QM dropped that she likes poetry in this update, we should pretty-up the lines we know we can. So for example, can the warning go something along the lines of "A rose can only stay beautiful if she has her thorns" with an emphasis that she is the rose?Or the same allegory(?) but with wolves? Though considering she isn't as hardcore about the Starks or rather dynastical bonds in general, the rose allegory(I don't know if that's the term?) might be the safer bet.Also this option is the vote.
>>4787931>greentexting something you aren't voting for
>>4787928marrying Sansa wouldn't necessarily fix everything. it would help but there are plenty of powerful Northern houses who are lukewarm on the Starks and see the primary duty of both Stark overlordship and the Night's Watch as keeping wildling fucking shits out of their country.imagine if a Republican president opened the Mexican border allowing unrestricted access, and how many of the border states would chuck a shitfit about it.
>>4787937the hatred many Northerners have for wildlings borders on pathological
How about we quote a quick poem to her beauty from our memory of high school English?"O, how much more doth beauty beauteous seemBy that sweet ornament which truth doth give!The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deemFor that sweet odour which doth in it live."From Shakespeare. Hope she understands Old English lol.
>>4787883Alright Trick. I've decided:>Find Mance Rayder in the feast and convince him beyond doubt (both reasonable and unreasonable if possible), that we are his allies in the coming War for the Dawn.Now he should be more receptive to southern diplomacy in regards to resettling below the border and complying with (most) of our laws (mainly don't start raping and killing), thus denying the white walkers 100k manpower and avoiding us a war with fellow whites humans.
>>4787912Based Sansanon.>>4787919I mean, we could do that by scaring the shit out of him with our meta-knowledge.One of the more interesting things we could do is neuter the Dany threat and potentially bring her on our side, though that may not be how you wish to use your Fate point. We could simply neuter Renly, Dorne, or the Tyrells with it as well if you want to. We could get another Faceless man in our permanent employ. Or we can just be memeing and use it to either fuck with some characters or literally fuck them, if your so inclined.I trust you'll use it wisely, anon.>>4787921Kek, go back to /b/ ya autist.
>>4787937>>4787938Yeah I imagine it will be difficult, but canonically King Stannis let them pass and the northerners still somewhat support him, and they love the Starks far better than they do Stannis.>>4787926I don't think Trick would have let me kill off or madden Renly and LF. Anything below that wouldn't really be worth it.>>4787944Sorry anon, you were a few seconds too late. But my argument from above stands. I doubt anything trick would allow us do to them would be worth it. And I consider the fact that we could potentially (and with difficulty) have convinced him of the same on our own, as a positive. It has more of a chance to succeed possibly beyond our expectations.
>>4787943Or you can do that instead. Still more useful than stabbing Gendry in the foot.
>>4787947>but canonically King Stannis let them pass and the northerners still somewhat support him, and they love the Starks far better than they do Stannisto be fair in canon there's a Northern civil war going on, and a bunch of Northern houses haven't had their 'say' yet on wildlings south of the Wall. It could actually be the decision which causes some houses to switch from Stannis to Roose, depending on how the next book pans out.but it was the decision which also got Jon Snow shanked by his own people, despite being Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and a Stark by blood.
>>4787947Np. You never really know how far it'll take you if you don't push the limits (within reason). One of the more amusing uses would have been cucking Drogo out of his cock just before he takes Dany. Now that would throw a wrench into things.
>>4787953Those are fair points. But tactically, defending the wall would be easier if there was only a single hostile army on the other side, rather than two.We could also resettle the Wildlings in Dorne, thus stifling the animosity generated in the Northerners by having their mortal enemies resettled in their lands, and generating good will with the Wildlings by sending them to a warm desert paradise instead of a snowy wasteland.
>>4787956that's a big logistical task which would require Dorne's consent. Not impossible but close to, considering Dornish intentions.I'm supporting the Mance decision by the way, I think its a cool way to use a fate point, I just think we need to buff up our Northern good will to temper any backlashand get my waifu Dacey Mormont in our court
>>4787956Why would Dorne accept 100k wildling refugees? My ideal deal for Mance would be similar to what Jon Snow offered him. The men stay on the Wall to defend it. Children of the major leaders become wards/hostages of the Watch and major Northern houses bordering the Wall. The women get a choice between staying at the Wall to defend it with their menfolk (spearwives would probably prefer this) or coming down with the old people and the other children to King's Landing where we house them in temporary housing. We'll supply them and the Wall through Eastwatch. As soon as the winter is over and the white walkers are defeated, they get to reunite and it will be our responsibility to settle them, whether it's in the New Gift or elsewhere. As a condition to this deal, Mance has to clear out everything north of the Wall and if it is possible capture a wight or two so our words are more believable. That means subjugating every tribe north of the Wall by force and killing every animal/living thing and burning it to deny as much soldiers as possible to the Others.
>>4787957>Dorne's consentlolI was working off of the assumption that we'd replace the Martells with the Yronwoods, and using the wildlings to expand the stony dornish (who are also descended from first men) settled lands. Anyways that's in the future and I'm glad you don't feel I've wasted the fate on Mance.
>>4787957>>4787958Dorne won't, and that's the point. Dorne will inevitably betray us and fuck up, and the wildlings will reap the benefits. We can also put the on the Iron Islands when the sudden but inevitable betrayal happens there as well.>>4787959Hey man, still more useful the the first fate point used.
>>4787930Red Lake is in the Reach, Summerhall is in the Stormlands, the Mountains of the Moon is the big mountain range in the Vale, Dragonstone is on Blackwater Bay, and we're in Winterfell now.>>4787943>working towards the actual endgameNot as based as teleporting Dany onto the end of our cock, but a close second. Well done, anon.>>4787959>YronwoodsOr Daynes. The Daynes are cool too. We should see if we could matchmake Arya with Edric.
>>4787818Use your gate point to have Renly have his tent blow away in a wind exposing him sucking off Loras in front of everyone at a tourney
Throw Fate Points for dergs!
>>4788003This isn't a bad idea either. Nice job lad!
>>4787943>Find Mance Rayder in the feast and convince him beyond doubt (both reasonable and unreasonable if possible), that we are his allies in the coming War for the DawnThis. Voting so much for THIS.
>>4788003I didn't see this idea or I'd have put it in my previous post. Excellent idea - if possible voting on this as well.
>>4788043Nobody tell him.
>>4788003Please god this.
So where do I go to read and participate in pornographic quests?
>>4788116Wait for Mallroy to come back, its pure coom
>>4788116Fiction.live>>4788118Father is gone for good.
>>4788120Why did Mallroy QM leave?
>>4788122Ctrl+F Malroy in the last thread, it was discussed heavily. There are multiple theories. All involve the QM being burned out for good.
>>4788128It got too hentai-tier during Dorne anyway, at one point I actually believed that Mallroy QM wanted a serious story. That is until the MC fucked nearly every woman he saw who had a pussy,
>>4788132Somehow I don't remember this part at all. As far as I remember he fucked Obella and that tailor girl who got pregnant. Who'd he fuck in Dorne? Wasn't he married at that point?
>>4788144I remember him sleeping with some slut as soon as he got into one of the Dornish palaces. Its been so long since I've dropped the quest so I couldn't tell ya who it was, but I remembered as soon as that happened I was out.
>>4788144Oh and marriage certainly didn't stop him from anymore sexcapades that's for sure. Aight enough off topic stuff, the QM for that quest won't be coming back anytime soon.
>>4788155Which is a shame. The idea behind the quest was quite good.On a related note, would there be interest if I were to run an AGOT quest from the PoV of our favorite BOARatheon?
>>4788150That was the same one from the tournament and the same one he married. He only slept with two women in over 60 threads. If anything it was worse because he should've slept with more women with his sellsword background, but there were some gatekeeping faggots like that sleepyanon namefag who tried to turn him into a total generic lord cuck.
>>4788155Are you just taking shryke and malroy and mashing them together as the same quest? This is just flat out wrong.
>>4788159Sure, which era?
>>4788159Hell yeah. Would be an SI or Robert Baratheon played straight? During Robert's Rebellion or the BOAR years of fat and neglect?
>>4788159>On a related note, would there be interest if I were to run an AGOT quest from the PoV of our favorite BOARatheon?Based and BOARpilled
>>4788164>>4788169>>4788172I had in mind one of these three possibilities, from the most serious to the least serious:a) Before the Tourney at Harrenhal, to give the players more say in shaping the future of the kingdom, b) Immediately after the Revolt, to go with the idea of giving the players more freedom in shaping the futurec) Far into Rob's twilight years, current starting time for AGOT - as a fat, jolly drunkard whose wife fucks her own brother.
>>4788003I don't know what Bobby Bs reaction is gonna be.>>4787943How? I mean, yeah we have full autismo right now, so we know about Mance Rayder- But to what fucking end? It would be easier for us to have a fourway with benjen, the boar, and a redwyne holding a rat while gendry watches then to actually come up with something that makes sense. "Oh hey Mance just gonna let you know we support you in the south when we have to fight for the dawn against an ever hungering night." I thought about this last night. I don't want to sound fucking shitty but here are the options"Mance, I need you to believe me, I know what you have seen north of the wall and what force controls the dead, I am a powerful seer from a far off land and I am warging the prince" It's too far fetched even though he knows what a fucking warg is and if someone hears that, then really bad things happen."Mance I need you to trust me, a red woman from afar told me to let you know about the prince that was promised, he will come as a crow and bring with him fiery stags. You must assist to end the night when the time comes." While this sounds more feasible, it raises more and too many questions. I am not the best at this, maybe there is a better way, but sounding like we know what's going on without sounding like a raving lunatic or getting us caught and thus killed is fucking rough.--BUT SURE. PUT ME DOWN FOR TALKING TO MANCE. MOST LIKELY PATH TO BOOOOAAAAAR
>>4788176Interested in A
Elsweyr, is there anyway to recover those destroyed anonkun writings?
>>4788159sign me the fuck up.
>>4788179>a fourway with benjen, the boar, and a redwyne holding a rat while gendry watches holy based
>>4788176A) would be good. Though I feel like anons would just try to keep Bobby's rebellion from happening or something obvious like that. B) would be good if we're marrying anybody other than crazy coochie Cersei. >>4788182I too would like to see Trick's dirty laundry that was deleted by moralfags.
>>4788184>redwyne prostitute in a three way between two middle aged men and a 12 year old while holding a rat and some random blacksmith boy watchingI FUCKING LAUGHED HOLY SHIT
>>4787797+1I hope we don't get banned for such obscenity.
>>4788185the first two pages of that anonkun quest involved bestiality/sheep fucking
>>4787931>"A rose can only stay beautiful if she has her thorns" I actually like this. +1
>>4788218Moralfags are voluntary cucks and I'm glad they always lose when they're not on akun or their raddit safe space. Trick's deleted anonkun quest sounds pretty funny.
>>4787270Just finished reading, pretty based quest. Did the QM quit?
>>4788132I’m still fucking mad about Giselle.
>>4788396Every woman me met, other than Obella, was pretty much useless. We wifed the best option. That Vyrwel bitch had fat tits though, I'll give her that.
>>4787752>Tell Sansa firmly, but kindly, that she needs to grow up a little. She’s far too naive and trusting. The world can be a cruel and dangerous place.>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.
>>4788312This. But I guess, let's go with Fatefags plan of Find Mance and do stupid shit also. Let's see how hard we can derail this shit.
>>4787752>>Escort the girl into the dining hall so the Welcoming Feast can begin as is your duty. Nothing more.No need to do anything coarse.
>>4788396I'm more mad that if it was going to be a whacky quest that the QM would eventually quit in shame, why didn't the groom anons kidnap and groom Dany under Bobby's nose?
>>4788453How do you manage to wrongly describe that quest in different ways in every post? Are you completely talking out of your ass? There are plenty of things that can be said about it with how it ended, but you said you didn't read that part and nothing else you've said makes any fucking sense to anyone who has read the rest of it.>it was for coomers>we banged a random slut in dorne>we cheated on the wife>it was whackyNone of these things happened. You didn't fucking read it. This is like listening to a showfag try to speak about book plots.
>>4788497Would you be kind enough to throw up a link to the archive?
>>4788497Me thinks you're obsessed for some strange reason or the actual QM of Malroy? Why do you care so much about a quest that has been dead for a long time.
>>4788504Here. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=House%20MalroyThe second to last thread there is that misarchived House Reynold dumpster fire.
>>4788497>it was for coomersit was>we banged a random slut in dornewe did>we cheated on the wifetwo times>it was whackyit was and its dead.
>>4788506No. You're a fucking retard. That's the extent of it. Malroy went out in the worst way possible. That still doesn't mean a single fucking thing that you've posted makes the slightest bit of sense. You should be embarrassed for standing out by being this fucking dumb even in a containment quest like this one.
>>4788522You're obsessed and one of the namefags from that quest and it shows.
>>4788513Alright. Would anyone here, anyone because this mongoloid is in a completely different part of the space time continuum and won't lift a finger when he can shit out word vomits instead, like to point to a single instance of cheating in dorne or elsewhere in malroy?
>>4788537Wow I can't recalled a time I've made someone this mad about a glorified fanfiction from /qst/. Seethe more, it will bump us over the Fatefags.
>>4788522>>4788537lollisteni agree with you about most of it, just stop feeding the trollhouse malroy was prob top three quest ive ever read, counting all sites
>>4788545>I was only pretending to be retardedWew.
>>4788559You care a little bit too much about a fanfiction that's not even yours to begin with.
Wasn’t there an asoiaf quest where anons voted to play as a dorne slut and fucked a bunch of dudes?
>>4788561You're mistaking defending the quest with marveling at how someone can be this much of a fucking retard. That you've been saying the same stupid shit all threads shows this wasn't some le ebic retard trollz skillz like you're trying to pretend now. You're just really this fucking dumb and it's astounding.
>>4788564Was that the only context of the story?
>>4788564Why'd you just say the same thing twice?
>>4788568lol no, I remember it was a dornish house and anons voted to play as a female character, while also giving her the lustful traits. I can’t remember what it was called, just that anons were planning on how best to utilize the bad pussy™ for trade deals/alliances
>>4788570All women of Dorne are sluts but not all fuck dudes.
>>4788564Ya. They played a 16 year old strong wamen who killed knights with her arsenal of spears and gleefully got turned out by Darkstar despite being married with 3 kids to some little cuck bookworm. But don't take my word for it. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=House%20BlacksandStill better than this abortion with another stronk femc. Now featuring Ironborn, frog spears and threesomes. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=House%20Redhand
>>4788576Yeah that's fair. Didn't think of that.
>>4788580>female mc played by a bunch of dudes on the internet Surprised it didn’t end up being nothing but yuri desu
>>4788582https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sggmx8vysocForgot to post the legendary Oscar winning scene, my bad.
>>4787748>Long, curly, blonde hair and a choker.Where are our stripey long-socks and matching arm-warmers?
You feel the pull to kiss her, to plant your full, pouty lips upon hers so you can say you’ve actually kissed a girl in this world who wasn’t your godsdamned mother . . . but you don’t. You restrain yourself while allowing the anticipation that you might lose control and do so linger in the air. Sansa shivers once more - not from the cold up here you’re certain she’s far more used to than you - but from the tingling sensation in her stomach she no doubt feels when you regard her with your lustful attention.Instead, at the last possible moment of allowing the tense silence between you linger before it turns to awkward spaghetti dropping, you take her hand in yours, slipping your slender fingers in between her dainty digits, sensually sliding your flesh over hers as you take her hand, fingers interlocked. She utters a quiet gasp of cold breath, misting the air in front of her mouth as you turn away from her, facing the open door way and guide her forwards into the feasting hall as is your duty as Crown Prince. She follows along with the practiced ease of a well-trained maiden.Walking down the central aisle of the Great Hall’s vast interior, there are four long trestle tables on either side of your path forward to the raised platform for noble guests at the back of the large room. The glorified benches to your left and right are filled to the brim with people - maybe half a thousand, their eyes glued to the pageantry inherent in your strutting.The walls are laden with banners of white, gold and crimson: wolf, stag, and lion. While walking towards your place of honor at the dais, you walk right past a young teenage boy with facial features that remind you of Eddard. He must be Jon Snow, you think to yourself.It doesn’t take long for you to reach your place of honor with Lady Sansa. After your entrance, in strides three handsome men one after the other to take seats at the high table as well. First comes Ser Jaime Lannister, the adonis from whom you’ve inherited your own good looks. He wears crimson silk, high black boots and a black satin cloak in contrast with his usual white armor and cloak. On the breast of your biological father’s tunic is the Lannister Lion, embroidered with gold thread, roaring its defiance.Second comes a man with some of the very same Stark facial features as Lord Eddard, garbed entirely in black. A noble and a man of the Night’s Watch, you know this figure must be Benjen Stark.And finally, in strides a dark youth with a kraken on his surcoat. Theon Greyjoy, the ward of the Starks. Once all the noble asses are sat, King Robert stands and raises a goblet only half-filled with summer wine. “To the Starks of Winterfell,” he booms loudly. “Who won me my throne and safeguard my kingdoms.”Everyone in the hall raises their glass along with the toast and drinks with the King, whooping and hollering as they do.
Then Eddard stands beside him, making his own toast as the ceremony demands. “To King Robert,” the quiet wolf speaks less loudly, but with the cold intensity and articulation that quells the room into silence so that they might listen intently to his words. “Who rid us of the Mad King’s tyranny.”Again, everyone drinks and cheers the toppling of the Targaryens who murdered Eddard’s father, older brother and sister. You notice Jaime’s face curdling out of the corner of your eye.“Now let’s eat!” Robert roars and the men of the North roar with him, along with the many hundreds of camp followers and sycophants who accompanied the royal stag to this cold land. The musicians start to play their songs and the attendees dig into their food. What shall the crown prince do?>Dance with Sansa>Talk with Jon Snow>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)>Other (write-in)
>>4788630>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)
>>4788629>ou take her hand in yours, slipping your slender fingers in between her dainty digits, sensually sliding your flesh over hers as you take her hand, fingers interlocked.The... the lewdness!!!
>>4788630>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)>Dance with Sansa>Talk with Jon SnowIn that order. >>4788634Lewd dancing coming up.
>>4788630>>4788641+1>>4788634This is blue board stop posting things like that
>>4788630>>Dance with Sansa>>Talk with Jon Snow>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)
>>4788630>>Search for Mance RaydarWe don't want him flying under our... notice.
>>4788641support. And in that order as well.Hopefully Cersei and Jamie did understand our several warnings. If not, we can take uncle and a few others for go and do a tour of the castle. Should keep him occupied and we can talk with other characters. Maybe some additional sparring for the sparring god later in the day.>>4788634lmao
>>4788630>Dance with Sansa
>>4788630>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point.>I'll be back soon for a dance firebird, I want to speak with the folk of the North first, get a feel for your home.
That feeling when you realise Cersei is going to be super supportive of Sansa, in order to get us into Sansa instead of her.
>>4788692Sansa anons won the moment the Robb spar was called, even QM tried to sway the other waifu anons to do something to derail it but you guys didn't.
>>4788692>implying she isn't into itAnon, she's gonna hate her even more.
>>4788692Why would we even want to fuck cersei if we had prime sansa pussy on demand? Cersei is old and busted
>>4788700Sansa currently has a brain like porridge. Bad porridge. Thin, tasteless, boring porridge. Like colored water with a few carrots floating in it porridge. Like someone tried and failed to make oatmeal and now they have lumpy soup. And she'll never get out of it until a war breaks out and she's kidnapped and gang-raped by a train of soldiers. Oh woe is the Sansafag, for they will coddle and shelter their waifu until only true tragedy can befall her.
>>4788715Please don’t tell me you are insulting sansas intelligence as a defense for cersei.
>>4788715Maybe a risk of NTR is exactly what they want? Cersei anons are guilty of NTR too though because she fucked two men one of which has a monster cock. Her pussy is also loosed from three kids and an unknown amount of aborted Bobby babies. In essence, all of the waifu choices are equally trash, with Redwyne having the stinkiest pussy of them all.
>>4788723No she literally has a bowl of porridge in her skull. >>4788726This is why Sandor will always be the true waifu.
>>4788630>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)
>>4788726>waifu is trash because she could be rapedThis is why we should marry a boar
>>4788735Cersei is far more retarded than sansa. She actually fucks her twin brother and had kids with him after all. She’s so stupid she started a civil war.
>>4788630Obviously, we use the fate point and talk to>Mance Rayder. But let's not be stupid about it. He's in disguise as a bard, so let's ask him to sing one of the songs of Bael the Bard, something we can dance to. Maybe one about the beautiful Stark women he liked so much. And then>Dance with SansaThen tell Mance that House Baratheon pardoned Barristan the Bold after the war and now he's the Captain of the Kingsguard. We can always find a way to work with clever, bold men, if they give us half a chance. Just enough to plant the seed, no need to talk about details just yet. Then >Talk to JonDon't know how to cold open this one. Maybe mention he looks the most like a Stark of any of his siblings, maybe see if Robb walks over to talk to him and join the conversation. We can say it's good to see half siblings raised as family, we've only become friends with one of our father's byblows.
>>4788715Well sansa is still in the age of learning, she can learn and change. It takes some time though. But it s at least something that can be used.
If we do approach Manse, we should say>Hate to disappoint you Syggerik but Sansa's ours and a blue rose won't do as a substitute.
>>4788747You can't argue away the porridge brain, anon.>>4788755Yeah sure. But niggas won't. Because muh pur waifu needs safe. Like I said.
>>4788715And that's why we should marry Margery. Obviously.But it would be rude not to dance with Sansa at this point.
>>4788767NGL, that's actually a good line.
Dummy. Marry Sansa for the alliance and then cement the alliance by getting her killed by an enemy we want the north to unite against with us. ezpz
>>4788773>marrying the -other- white meatHow blase.
>>4788778forgot who I was responding to but whatever>>4788740Also this.
>>4788769>>4788779>NOOOOO YOU CANT JUST MARRY A CHARACTER WHO ISNT RELATED TO YOU AND PROVIDES TANGIBLE POLITICAL BENEFITS
>>4788769You don't need to break the cutie with Sansa, she's so eager to please we just need to do what we're doing, and occassionally explain our reasoning to her. She'll catch on. She doesn't in the books because her upbringing is so divorced from what's actually happening and everyone around her is lying to her. She flounders, baby steps and she'll catch on.It's the difference between training an untrained boxer, and putting them against gradually better boxers, and grabbing someone off the street, and making them fight prime Mike Tyson every few weeks.
>>4788785You said it, pal.>>4788786So what you're saying is you want to tell Sansa to hang out with Varys? Good idea.
>>4788786What I'm getting out of this is we should have Sansa fight a prime boar every couple days so she can powerlevel her intrigue.
>>4788793if our wife can’t spear and gut a boar then she isn’t baratheon material simple as
>>4788776Thanks, I like the bit about mentioning Barristan as well. But you're totally wrong about Margery, Firebird is best girl.
>>4788715Who puts carrots in porridge?
>>4788811People who make bad porridge.
>>4788630>>Talk with Jon Snow>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)
>>4788769We could get the help of Tyrion and help her ourselves in part. Tyrion should be useful. We could talk with Ned about it too. And the court has it s own teachers for educate noble pupils i believe.In the court there isn t many people to befriend honestly. And in regard to that we need to get some for ourselves for watch our back, being friendly with the starks might give us some beside Gendry. Our siblings should too, Tommen especially he needs to have other people beside his family.
>>4788740We could get someone to warg into a boar and then fuck it.
>>4788630>Dance with Sansa>Talk with Jon Snow>Pet the dire wolves.
>>4788824Good luck making anons vote for anything other than UwU i lub hergNo, really. Good luck.
It would be nice to try and engineer a peace between the Wildlings and the north. Maybe not all of them even need to be settled in the north?Perhaps we could also try with the mountain clansmen of the Vale?
>>4788630Further to my original vote >>4788820+1 to this >>4788752
>>4788825>step 1:jump of tower and fall into coma>step 2:unlock warg ability from raven who is impressed by our sick flip on the way down>step 3:warg into a boar and fuck cersei>step 4:???>step 5:win
>>4788630>>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)Moving those snow niggers off to essos. We give the ships and he makes them no nig out on the passage from East-watch-by-the-sea to northern essos.We dont care what they do after but GTFO westerosAlso stop opening Crypts and letting others loose.Also if we can have some scribes work to transcribe their odd history while they wait for shipping, and perhaps see if we can get some rare northern things like unicorn horns and better maps of the extreme north.
>>4788630>Search for Mance Raydar and discuss (guaranteed success due to fate point)Top priority for obvious reasons. We need to make sure that he is willing to fight the Army of the Night *on our side*. We should put an emphasis on his oath being to protect the realms of man from the terrors of the night and that those realms include the wildlings. It should work as both a hint to his future possible reinstatement as well as our will to back the Free Folk despite them being on the other side of the wall. He'll probably laugh at us as we are still a 12yo snot, but this would be the useful foundations of a future bridge, later on.Also if we end up doing it can we ask him to play us a song that would help us in dancing with Sansa? Also we might use it as a cover of why we spent a long conversation with a bard(that *was* his disguise, tight?).So bottom line for Mance: Make sure he knows we understand how he sees things and that if he is cooperative, we would be willing to back him.>Dance with SansaWe should still remain courteous to her and not rush things. We know what her profile is like and if she ends up being our (prime) wife it would be useful to cement ourselves as a figure that she admires.Then, considering how suggestive and malleable she is we can "suggest" how she can improve herself to be a better queen for us(we might drop the line "what we look for in a queen". that way she thinks it's her idea), i.e. better at court intrigue (so she can watch our backs while we are going on the offensive), some form of sport (we should get her into hunting as a rather *solitary* activity we share. The walls of Kings Landing have ears after all) and also embroidery. What? We should compliment her on at least one thing she's already good at.So we should probably start with embroidery or poetry(but we already somewhat used that one) and end at where intrusiveness allows.>Talk with Jon SnowLowest priority of the three. Not necessary for the night but for the stay at Winterfell. If I remember correctly there was a chance for him to come to Kings Landing, but that might screw with who else comes down to Kings Landing. Also he'll be a much more useful asset as a Night's Watch high ranking commander since he'll be jack shit useful for court politics. We should also put on emphasis that we don't care that he is a "bastard", since that conversation would have been handled by Tyrion, who isn't here in this timeline. We might also mention our positive view on our father's bastards (although not call them like that. a play on words with *children* might come in handy) as a bargaining chip.In the books castle Black makes him the man he is so we shouldn't take on to handle that responsibility, but rather make sure he can be useful in our future alliance with Mance AND as a potential counter-heir to Danny. He was in the books after all.Also write ins in next.
>>4788715>>4788726This is why we should go with Benjen.
>>4788867>Also write ins in next.There's more?!