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LAST THREAD
>>4544972


You are Anon, a dude with a as-of-yet-undetermined backstory, with a Xenomorph Queen as a Waifu. She isn't as large as the ones in the movies, tough, only around 7 feet tall.

In the year 20XX a zombie virus overtook the world, and Canada was the only remaining bastion of humanity left in the aftermath. They soon assembled URBY, a mysterious technology that guides all travelers onto...
THE DEATH ROAD TO CANADA
There are many obstacles in the way, including vicious bandits, starved zombies, mysterious beings from other dimensions, and a undead cult.

Last thread, Anon scrounged up quite a bit of Food with Queenie before joining a rescue caravan lead by Hector, a survivor who had already bested the death road once. However, the Caravan has a problem. Namely, a Mysterious Clown who's fucking scary. Other members include, Zoey and Sarah, a young girl and her mother. Tyler, a wacko minor youtube celebrity, Leon, a weird Old guy, Chuck, a football jock who threw up on Bobble five minutes ago, and Emperor, A Massive Dickbag. Will Anon be able to make his way to Canada to drink gallons of maple syrup? Find out in this Queeeest!

Hector looks extremely upset as he announces the bad news.
>"Alright people, Command isn't happy with me only having 7 people in this caravan."
>"I've tried to tell them getting more people is just painting a target on our backs, but they don't want to hear it, so they're giving us an ultimatum."
>"Either we start getting more people in the Caravan, or we get assigned to clear out certain infested areas."
>"If we don't, they'll cut off radio contact and start shuffling around the supply caches so we can't use them."
Everyone begins to complain all at once.
>"That's ridiculous!" (Tyler)
>"I can't put my child in danger!" (Sarah)
>"FUCKING GOVMINT BASTERDS WANNA KILL US ALL" (Leon)
>"Screw them! We should just go and steal the caches" (Emperor)
Bobble and Chuck are unavailable for complaint as they are scrubbing barf off their clothes.
>"Look, I hate this just as much as you do, so I'll put it to a vote."

"Do We
>Take on more members?
>Take on the missions to clear out the zombies?
>Or just say fuck it, stick a big ol' middle finger to command and keep going?

Emperor begins getting visibly pissed
>"Why the hell can't we just lie and say we did the stupid missions?"
Hector sighs
>"We can't lie to 'em and say we are taking on more people while no more people get on, or not clear out the zombies, they got this weird machine that can tell from your speech patterns"

Well fuck, not even a full 5 days with the Caravan and you're already getting roped into bullshit. What will you vote for?
Write your vote, then roll 3d100 to determine the other's votes.
>>
Rolled 3, 48, 26 = 77 (3d100)

>>4572373
>Take on more members?
>>
>>4572391
Writing
>>
>>4572391
Zoey and Sarah Cast their votes for rescuing more people, Zoey wants to meet more friends, and Sarah doesn't want Zoey to be endangered. Plus, she needs her medicine from the caches.

Bobble And "Emperor" Vote for just abandoning the mission and becoming an independent. You have no idea what Bobble is thinking, but the Emperor probably doesn't like being bossed around.

Hector votes for taking on more killing missions, and the blond child dressed in green who the QM forgot to mention in the OP swings his sword around enthusiastically.

Leon votes for Abandoning Homebase, but Chuck, Tyler, and you all vote to pick up more people, winning the vote in favor of your choice, Yay!

You hear plenty of grumbling, but a votes a vote, and Hector yells.
>"Alright people, I don't want to hear your bullshit, we voted, and we're rescuing people!"
>"Get ready to move out!"

You hop into your Car, with Queenie still stuck on the roof, posing as a ornament. Chuck quickly hops in, seems like no one wants to ride with Bobble. Hector begins to drive, and you follow suit.

It's yet another day of intense driving, and before long, you've stopped by the wayside while the stars twinkle above you. Hector says tomorrow's the last day of this intense driving, and also when you'll have to pick up at least 2 more members or get cut off by Command. You eat your Food (-2), and feed some to Queenie (-2) while nobodies looking. It's midnight when you suddenly hear some tapping on the Window, It's Queenie, and she looks upset. This is extremely risky, since Chuck is sleeping in the backseat.

What do?
>Get out and see what's the problem.
>Tell her to go back to bed
>Shoo her away
>She's probably hungry, toss her some more food
>Write in

>Inventory
27 Food
Pistol, 22 bullets
Medkit
Bat
Glass shank

(If you want to know the percentages, 1-33 was save people33-66 was abandon 66-100 was kill zombies, except for leon, who had a 50/50 on killing missions or abandonment.)
>>
>>4572428
>Get out and see what's the problem.
>>
>>4572428
>Get out and see what's the problem.
>>
File: Untitled.png (25 KB, 1191x648)
25 KB
25 KB PNG
>>4572438
>>4572439

You crawl out of the car, and she begins to nuzzle you. Seems like she just wanted some attention, and it looks like she went off and hunted something, and brought back some scraps (+1 Food). However, she suddenly turns and hisses into the trees, raising her tail and dropping to all fours. You can't see anything there, but it's pretty dark and you can hear a bit of rustling, but it's not happening in patterns or anything.

What do?
>get queenie to hide, wake up the others
>grab the weapons from the trunk and wake up the others, don't hide queenie
>go back to sleep, it's probably a deer.
>Grab weapons from the trunk and approach without waking the others.
>Write in


>Inventory
1 Food

>Trunk
27 Food
Pistol, 22 bullets
Medkit
Bat
Glass shank
>>
>>4572622
For the record, everyone's sleeping inside a car besides Sarah and the Emperor, and that's because their ride is a motorcycle.
>>
>>4572622

no need to wake them up if it's a false alarm, but queenie being aggressive is strange... so

>Grab weapons from the trunk and approach without waking the others but at the first sign of something dangerous wake the others with a yell in their direction.
>>
>>4572969
You grab you baseball bat, stuff your glass shank into your pocket, and ready your pistol so you can dual wield like a badass. You slowly creep forward, and still nothing emerges, and the rustling continues, and it's slowly getting louder by the second. Queenie is dripping acid out of her mouth like mad, her hissing is getting louder too, which might wake someone up.

Wat do?
>hush Queenie
>fire a shot
>creep closer
>go back to bed
>get queenie to hide, and wake up the others

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 7 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4572999
>wait and don't get closer. hush queenie.

OMG, THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!
what is behind that bush!
>>
>>4572999
>Hush Queenie
>>
>>4573001
>>4573001
>>4573012

You shush Queenie before staying put, a couple meters away from the bushes. She calms down a bit, right before starting her growling again before a zombie crawls out. But not just any zombie, it's hunched over, with horrible growths of bone all over it's back, a long tongue hanging from it's mouth, and has a gaping maw full of teeth unlike any zombie you've ever seen before. It's eyes are... gone, not gouged out, but simply non-existent, along with the sockets, like it never had any in the first place, and i has a mark on it's forehead. It cranes it's head while you hear it take extremely long sniffs, like if a goblin decided to do cocaine. You have no idea why the hell it looks like this, the zombie virus had only ever turned people into normal zombies before, not this left for dead 2 freakshow shit. It slowly lays it's "eyes" on you, and slowly begins creeping forward. Queenie appears to be getting ready to pounce.

Wat do?
>Shoot it!
>smash it's head in!
>shuffle to one side!
>try to sync up a attack with Queenie.
>throw some food into the trees to distract it
>"WAKE UP FAGGOTS, WE GOT A ZOMBIE OVER HERE!"
??? perk activates
>TENDERIZE
>SWISS

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 7 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4573014
>shuffle to one side!
>try to sync up an attack with Queenie.
>>
>>4573014
>Sync up with Queenie
>>
>>4573021
+1
>>
>>4573021
>>4573025
>>4573164
As you shuffle around the zombie, it suddenly whips it's head towards you and pounces! You swing your bat as the same time as queenie darts her tail forward, with her tail ripping off one of the arms and you smash it's head soundly with the bat, emitting a meaty *crack* from both the head and your bat. The... zombie-mutant begins emitting a horrible squealing sound, like baby piglets slowly having their skin stripped off with a rusty potato peeler. Everyone's DEFINITELY going to wake up soon and see you, even if you kill it right this second. To make matters worse, more voices join in the screaming, far away for now, but you're not stupid, and even if those zombies don't find you, bandits, normal hordes of zombies, and god knows what else will soon approach.

Wat do? Roll 1d100 regardless of your action.
>"WAKE UP, WE GOT A HORDE INCOMING!"
>Hide queenie, and wake everyone up.
>Run into car and take off while yelling at everyone to get up
??? Perk Activates!
>WARSTEED

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 7 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4573559
>"WAKE UP, WE GOT A HORDE INCOMING!"
>>WARSTEED
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4573559
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4573559
>"WAKE UP, WE GOT A HORDE INCOMING!"
>>
>>4573573
>>4573574
>>4573654
"WAKE UP, WE GOT A HORDE INCOMING!"
>"Whu- whus- HOLY SHIT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!?!"
Emperor is the first to wake up, and begins dashing towards his motorcycle, dragging Sarah like a bodybag behind hi, while she's still trying to get out of her Sleeping Bag. You also hear the sound of a little kid crying, and Hector emerges from the car, then grabs a machete. He blinks in disbelief before
>"WAKE UP YOU SHITLORDS! WE GOT WEIRD ZOMBIE-THINGS!"
He's about to charge Queenie, right before you leap onto her back like a mongol raider, and unload your clip at the zombie, blasting off it's head with a final lucky shot.
>"ANON, THE FUCK ARE Y-"
Hector is cut off by the sudden arrival of 8 more of the squealing zombies, and about 10 more normal looking zombies emerge from the bushes along with the horde!

Wat do?
>Reload, and fire into the horde!
>Throw your glass shank at one of the Squealers
>Get queenie to do a tail whip to knock over some zombies
??? Perk activates!
>GLORIOUS MELEE COMBAT

>Write in

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 0 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4573663
plan beat the shit out of the horde.
>Get queenie to do a tail whip to knock over some zombies
>GLORIOUS MELEE COMBAT
>Hector focus on the combat you can introduce yourself to Queenie later!
>>
>>4573666
+1
>>
>>4573666
+1 I like the cut of this anon's gib.
>>
>>4573666
GLORIOUS MELEE COMBAT overrides your first choice!
"Hector focus on killing the zombies! I can introduce you to Queenie later!"
Hector looks at you, pinches himself, then charges into the fray and slices the head off of an approaching zombie.
Meanwhile, you charge Queenie directly into the line of zombies, taking out three of the normal ones with her claws and tail, and you bash the head off of another.
Emperor throws the sleeping bag containing Sarah into the sidecar, and pulls out a... No fucking way, a gold-plated-crossbow. Wait, nevermind, it's a crossbow with some random pits painted gold. He takes aim, his bolt pins one of the Squealers to a tree. It isn't dead, but scrabbles and fumbles and it tries to pull itself from the tree.
>"What the hell did the new guy do!? Do I shoot him or what?"
The remaining 5 zombies split into a group of two and three, the 2 slowly shambling towards you, while the rest approach the encampment.
The remaining 7 squealers form a circle around you, and they begin swiping and biting at you while trying to stay out of range of your bat or Queenie's claws. One is suddenly taken out by a gunshot form one of the cars and you can hear a southern drawl of nonsense go off, The rest continue circling and swiping, while their screaming grows even louder, their jaws actually starting to split open.
15 more zombies emerge from the trees, and shamble towards the cars.

LIST OF COMBATANTS
>Zombies
18 slowly headed towards the cars
6 squealers circling you
1 squealer stuck on a tree.

>Humans
Leon (taking potshots from Hector's car)
Hector (Preparing to engage the 18 zombie horde)
Sarah (Struggling to escape Sleeping bag)
Emperor (Reloading crossbow on his motorcycle)

Wat do?
>Charge through the circle to reach the cars and break out of here.
>"I COULD USE SOME BULLETS IN ZOMBIES OVER HERE!"
??? Corruption increases! Write-ins are not valid for this post!
>TENDERIZE
>SWISS
>SLICE AND DICE

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 0 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4573862
>"I COULD USE SOME BULLETS IN ZOMBIES OVER HERE!"
Definitely focus on those screaming bastards.
>>
>>4573862
>>"I COULD USE SOME BULLETS IN ZOMBIES OVER HERE!"
>>
>>4573866
>>4573893
>"I COULD USE SOME BULLETS IN ZOMBIES OVER HERE!"
>"FUCK OFF LET ME RELOAD FIRST!"
*POW*
*More southern nonsense*
Another squealer falls to Leon, and before the others can react, a round of wild gunfire rips through another 2, killing one and heavily injuring another. It's not very well aimed however, and a bullet grazes your thigh, making you bleed. It came from your car, and you see chuck holding a uzi in the most incorrect position possible.
>"Did I hit anything?!"
Hector begins hacking away at the approaching blob of zombies, and both Tyler and the lad clad in green rush out of the car. The kid pulls out a shortsword, and joins hector, slashing away at the crowd. Tyler begins rooting around in the trunk for something.

The 18 zombie horde surge closer to the cars, with 5 of them falling to Hector and Green Kid's blades, but they press on undeterred.
The remaining 4 squealers begin backing away from you, but Queenie swipes one off it's feet with her tail, then crushers it's skull with her claws. They begin screaming EVEN LOUDER, and you can see their jaws visibly begin to tear greatly, blood spilling out.

A small crowd of 5 zombies begin to stagger in from the road, while 12 zombies emerge from the trees, and block your path to the squealers. Emperor finishes reloading his crossbow and his bolt tears through a zombies midsection, ripping off their entire torso. The one he shot a couple of seconds ago finally tears itself off the bolt... In the exact same way, killing itself.

>"THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM! GET TO THE CARS AND DRIVE!"
Hector grabs what looks like a bundle of duct tape and hurls it into the horde, and it lands right on the zombie in the middle and darts away from the reaching hands of the zombies.

Combatants
>Zombies
13 making their way to the cars
4 squealers screaming near the trees
6 zombies shambling towards you
5 approaching the cars from the road

>Humans
Leon (taking potshots from Hector's car)
Hector (Dashing to the cars)
Green Kid (Fighting the 13 zombies)
Sarah (Still struggling to escape Sleeping bag)
Emperor (Reloading crossbow on his motorcycle)
Tyler (Rummaging around the trunk)

Wat do?
>dash to the cars
>reload and fire a couple of shots at the squealers
>Throw shank at the squealers
??? Corruption decreases, write ins are valid again
>ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH
>DEATH FROM ABOVE

>write in

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 0 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4574709
>ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH

We'll cover the retreat!
>>
>>4574787
ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH.

You nudge Queenie slightly...
AND CHARGE FULL SPEED INTO THE 13 ZOMBIE HORDE FOR THE GLORY OF THE SKULL THRONE, KILLING 7 ZOMBIES IN THE INTIAL CHARGE, BOWL OVER THE REST AND BASH IN ANOTHER 2 WITH YOUR MIGHTY CLUB. YOU ARE WAR, YOU ARE GLORY.

Hector gives you a thumbs up of approval. The Kid in green seems disappointed that he didn't get to kill that many zombies, so he stabs the remaining ones and starts dashing to the car. Tyler stops rummaging through the trunk, and dashes back into the car, seeing as he doesn't seem necessary anymore. Leon switches windows, and has to club one zombie away from the car window facing the road with the butt of his rifle.

Chuck fires wildly at the zombie's approaching the cars, but misses them entirely. One grabs his arm, and he screams as he desperately tries to pry the rotten fingers off of him.

The rest of the normal zombies shamble towards their targets. However, the Squealers reach a perfect crescendo, with their screams piercings directly into your soul, as their jaws detach and they limply fall over, seemingly dead. However, you hear a massive thumping sound in the distance, and into the treelines you can see a seemingly endless amount of zombies marching towards the campsite, and also a horde approaching from the road.
>"ALRIGHTI'MHEADINGOUTEARLYSEEYOUSOONBYE"
"Emperor" revs his motorcycle, and takes off with Sarah still struggling to escape her sleeping bag. He fires a shot at Chuck's zombie as he passes, clipping it's head, allowing Chuck to escape the grapple.
>"Wait for us you bastard!"
Hector hops into his car and waves at you to get in yours, and he starts the engine.

Wat do?
>dash to the cars
>dash to the cars while killing zombies on the way
??? Corruption Increases, Write-Ins are not valid for this post.
>LET THEM COME
>THE SPEAR IN THE NIGHT
>SALVO

>Inventory
1 Food
Pistol 0 shots in the mag, 15 in reserve (left hand)
Bat (Right hand)
Glass shank (pocket)
>>
>>4574944
>dash to the cars

Chuck, start driving already! Queenie will jump on the back of the car as we make our escape!
>>
>>4574944

>>4574950
ditto.
>>
>>4574950
You yell at chuck to start driving. He clambers into the driver's seat (remember, he's been sitting in the back) and starts slowly taking off, Queenie appears agitated, but you pat her a couple of times and she seems to understand. She sprints full tilt and you hold on tight to her carapace as she leaps into the car, her claws digging into the metal. Chuck isn't that great of a driver, especially when he has to keep swerving to avoid zombies. Something that really creeps you out is that even after 30 minutes of full speed driving, with Queenie wrapping her tail around you to make sure you stay warm and don't fall off, you still see zombies headed towards the abandoned campsite.

Finally, after 2 whole hours of driving, Hector finally yells the order to stop. Everyone's exhausted as shit, and Chuck passes out as soon as he takes his feet the pedal, with most of the party following suit. Before you can do so, Hector approaches you, and sternly looks you in the eye.
>"Anon, tell me everything about, your, uh, pet. "Queenie." I don't want to have to hurt you, but that shit might be a security risk."
>"Don't leave any details out, give me your profession before the fall, how you met, and anything else."
>"Also, just in case you pull one of those crazy stunts...."
He suddenly whips out a pistol and points it at your head.
>"Now start talking or I start shooting."
Queenie is right behind you, and she growls, but she knows if she moves, your head will become the consistency of Chunky Salsa.

OOC: He will not shoot unless you go out of your way to antagonize him, this is basically because I want Anon to actually have something as a background. This will consist of picking a general backstory, such as your profession, and your relationship with Queenie and how you met her. These do offer boons and drawbacks, so make your choices WISELY.

Well to be honest your "job" was always really shitty, after all, you were a...
>NEET shitposter
>Disability benefits guy
>Wage Slave
>A hobo, just a fucking hobo.
>person who actually had a future
>>
>>4574982
>person who actually had a future

Hope is a terrible thing, when given to the hopeless.

Meet Queenie when she was critically injured when the dead were rising, and saved her life.

Also, if your going to shoot me, don't fuck around. You'll make Queenie even angrier.
>>
>>4574982

>>4575001
+1
>>
>>4575001
>>4575004
Specifically you were:
>A bright eyed college student
>Set to inherit the family store
>an aspiring small business owner
>a minor Youtube celebrity (This will cause Tyler to either dislike/like you more)
>Write in
>Actually, no wait...

I didn't actually think anyone would pick this over hobo. Just to let you guys know, the general idea of this "skill tree" is that you get some above average buffs, but are easily traumatized and feared, as well as generally make yourself more mentally frail.
>>
>>4575315
>an aspiring small business owner

why would we pick hobo? lol.
>>
>>4575315

>>4575318
+1
>>
>>4575318
>>4575325
I don't know, the meme?

You were a up and coming business owner, it wasn't much, but you made your mark, had to build it from the ground up with some loans, and paid 'em off quickly. You were even looking to expand to a second location before your intern tore the head off of a baby and scarfed it down like a pack of peanuts.

+Business acumen, better deals in trading
+Hard Work, slightly buffed stats across the board
-Civilized. Makes rolling for sanity and other shit way harder if it involves zombies. Expect to throw up a LOT.
-Easy Mark. People will try to scam you more often.

Confirm? Next section is how you met queenie.
>>
>>4575344
Sure, I'm game.
>>
>>4575346

Hector frowns
>"I don't suppose you sold man eating plants that sung jazz or antiques that strangled the owners?"
>"Didn't make a deal with the devil to ensure your success?"
>"Well, keep talking, you sound okay so far."
>"How'd you meet her anyway?"

It's pretty simple actually.
>You found her during a scavenging trip.
>She found you in the middle of the night.
>You stumbled upon her by complete accident
>You watched her burst from the chest of a random deer while hunting.
>>
>>4575355
>You found her during a scavenging trip.

yeah, I can see how some would choose hobo but it just didn't seem to fit the character for me.
>>
>>4575355

>>4575360
+1, though I will say that I'm partial to the deer burster one, if only for the logical imprinting on us afterwards.
>>
>>4575360
+1
>>4575422
Not really, she's supposed to be our waifu so imprinting on us right after she's born wouldn't really be something waifu-like...you know what i mean.
>>
>>4575355
It's pretty simple actually.
>You found her during a scavenging trip.
It was love at first sight.
>>
>>4575422
The deer buster is hilarious but we don't want them to know that her species breed inside living creatures... It maybe just me but that can get the paranoia going.
>>
>>4575527
I don't like it because it'd feel like proto-incest when we eventually boned queenie.
>>
>>4575527
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aVZUVeMtYXc

>>4575556
Step-family is proto-incest. Imprinting is more like love at first sight.
>>
>>4575935
Not really, because "first person you see after being born" is usually stuff like mistaking for family shit. Finding an giant alien queen in an scavenging trip or the middle of the night and immediately becoming a thing is love at first sight.
>>
>>4575360
>>4575422
>>4575505
>>4575521
>>4575527
>>4575556
>>4575935
You were grabbing some food from the grocery store, and found her in the backroom, eating some zombie's face. After a bit of panicking, it was clear that she had human level intelligence. She wasn't hostile at all, and eventually you started living together. She then started doing things like bringing you dead lions (local zoo) and doing weird dances until it was clear she regarded you as her mate. You were pretty happy about it, since you hadn't met anyone for ages after the outbreak happened.

>"....Wait, that's your girlfriend? How- nevermind that."
>"Jesus christ, was there anything interesting that happened to you at all before you met her?"
>"You were a boring guy, you met her by luck and decided to get on the death road like any normal survivor."
He sighs and puts away his gun. Queenie finally stops growling, but still seems ready to pounce.
>"Well, I can tell when a cultist is lying, so you're all clear on that front, and I don't need to point this gun at you anymore. (doubt it'd do anything but make me die painfully.)"
>"Final question, then we can deal with the rest of the caravan freaking the fuck out about her tomorrow."
>"Was there anything unusual about her besides, y'know,"
He gestures in her general direction
>"The surface weirdness?"

SPECIAL EXTRA BOON TIME, TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP. NO BACKSIES.
>"She really, really, liked to eat weird stuff, I guess?"
>"I was kinda kidnapped and forced to live in her cave for a bit, we bonded pretty well because of that though."
>"Uh, well, this will make me sound completely insane, but..." (X-treme mutator)
All give Massive Boons, but will make the cult more zealous in pursuit. Are you a bad enough dude to handle it?


Alternatively:
>"No, not really." (THE BORING OPTION)
>>
>>4576066
Now this is a hard one. On one side, bonding with Queenie sounds cute. On the other, X-treme mutator sounds extreme.
>>
>>4576066
Wait, QM do you mean kidnapped as in kidnapped by Queenie?
>>
>>4576255
It's not kidnapping, it's just "physically enforced moving in"
>>
>>4576066
>>"Uh, well, this will make me sound completely insane, but..." (X-treme mutator)
>>4576124
>>4576262

dudes! if we go in we go in in FORCE!!!
>>
>>4576636
Fair point, however i still like the idea of being close with queenie.
>>
Rolling and writing in around 10 minutes if a final decision isn't made
>>
>>4576636
Ditto? I honestly have no option, but you've been with me since the first thread, so I'll vote with ya!
>>
>>4577173
yeah, there is no correct response to this. it may bring probs later on but there will always be problems.
>>
>>4576636
>>4577173
>"uh this will make me sound completely insane but..."
>"Well, it's easier if I tell the whole story."

FLASHBACK TIME!
You were scavenging along with Queenie, a couple of months after you met her. You haven't found a car, and didn't want to head onto the death road yet, if at all. While grabbing some nails to use in the fortification of your ramshackle home, you spotted a abandoned hunting goods store, and it still looked like it hadn't been picked over. You opened the door, and received around 6 rapid-transfer gifts 20cm of carbonized plastic tipped of with Omega-grade aluminum. I'm saying you got shot with a bunch of arrows. You got shot in your stomach, your legs, shoulders, pretty much everywhere except the parts that would actually kill you. You didn't even get the satisfaction of shooting the bastard who did this, since it was a tripwire trap, and later you found the skeleton of the guy who made it in the back of the shop, a pistol in one hand and a hole in his brain. The more pressing issue at the time tough, was the fact that you had absolutely no way to stop the bleeding after you panicked and pulled the arrows out. As you faded into the darkness, you could feel Queenie pick you up. When you awoke, it was only for a brief period of time, but you saw Queenie rubbing... something green and yellow into your wounds. After what seemed like a week, you finally woke up on your shitty mattress, and with Queenie curled up right beside you, but it looked like she had accidentally cut herself somehow while taking care of you. A couple weeks after that, you finally decided to embark on the death road after you saw a horde approaching from the east.

>"So.... it knows first-aid."
Hector seems disappointed that you didn't tell him that she could shoot lasers from the mouth or something.
>"Well, it seems like you're of no threat to us, and neither is she as long as we don't fuck you over."
>"Like I said, we can deal with the others later, and sorry for pulling a gun on you."
>"Well then, I gotta go write up a report for central, you go take a load off, I saw you two kill like 20 zombies, and we gotta try to recruit someone tomorrow too."

You got ???(2) DORMANT

Final Loadout:
+Business acumen, better deals in trading
+Hard Work, slightly buffed stats across the board
-Civilized. Makes rolling for sanity and other shit way harder if it involves zombies. Expect to throw up a LOT. (TARGET)
-Easy Mark. People will try to scam you more often.
???(1): Milk FTKF
???(2) DORMANT: ???

You try to head into the car, but Queenie drags you out with her tail, and you fall asleep on the roof of the car, holding each other tight in their arms.
(Rest of the update will come in around 1.5 hrs.)
>>
>>4577265
>Milk FTKF

what does FTKF mean?
>>
>>4577273
shitty puzzle/meme-hint to what the perk is.
>>
>>4577273
I'm honestly more curious to what is Dormant. We've got two of it. I REALLY hope it's not one of the ideas i had on what it might be.
>>
>>4577313
If you're thinking eggs then I hope it's not that.
>>
>>4577316
Not necessarily eggs, just nasty things that have the same result in general.

I mean, Queenie should be the one getting pregnant, not the other way around.
>>
>>4577265
You wake up... and are greeted to more screaming from. Thankfully, this time, it's because Zoey has decided to start riding Queenie like a horse, and your waifu, not knowing what to do is running around in circles, occasionaly lightly bumping into trees when Zoey's steering shows why you need to be 16 to get cars. She's yelling about 20 cowboy-isms a second, and her mother appears to be trying to think of a way to trap them in a net without tripping them over, or pissing off what she undoubtedly sees as a giant demon thing. Emperor has apparently tried to shoot some nets at Queenie, but they aren't really nets so much as a bunch of net-things you get when buying fruit with bouncy-balls as weight, so they've all been extremely ineffective.
>"Hello mister anon! I like your horsey-bug!"
Sarah turns around, and flinches as soon as she sees you.
>"Please don't get too mad at Zoey, she's young and..."
She's cut short by another scream, it appears "Emperor" has tried to do get Queenie to stop by leaping in front of them, but that hasn't panned out so well for him, and he's now clinging onto her tail, dangling behind her like a horse's butt hair at full tilt.
>"HEY ASSHOLES A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE?!"

Wat do?
>>
>>4577350
>Call Queenie to you with a frown and tell Queenie that when she wants someone to get off her back she can try to roll/ fall/ tilt on her side. or just come wake him up if she can't get it off.
>>
>>4577350
>Call Queenie to calm her down and help get the girl off calmly
>>
>>4577356
>>4577387
You wave Queenie over, and she immediately pulls one of those Wil. E Coyote stops, making giant scratches across the ground, also causing "Emperor" to be thrown off the tail. Fortunately, his ridiculous coat blunts the impact, as well as the bush he crashes directly into. Zoey doesn't really want to get off, but with some coaxing from her mother, you finally get her to step off, but not before al lot of whining and her promising to "come back and play more space cowboys next time" before running off to do something else, leaving her mother behind. Queenie just seems confused about the whole thing, but practices rolling around a bit after you tell her about the idea. Sarah immediately starts spouting a bunch of apologies towards you, and most of them are so incoherent you can't even tell what she's saying.
>"HEY! SOMEONE HELP GET ME OUT OF THIS BUSH! I CAN'T OPEN MY EYES OR ELSE THE BRANCHES GET THEM!"

Wat do?
>"Just make sure she doesn't do it again"
>"It's fine, she can even come back if Queenie is fine with it."
>Go help "emperor"
>Write in

By default you don't carry your weapons around you, which can be changed later.

I don't think I described Emperor properly yet. He has those weird sunglasses that don't let you see the wearer's eyes, some golden chain amulets (They're short enough to not be a grabbing area) and a ridiculous white fur coat you're 50% sure is something stolen from a evidence locker for a pimp.
>>
>>4577462
>>"Just make sure she doesn't do it again" while walking to Go help "emperor".
>>
>>4577481
Pretty much this, Queenie is not really a safe ride due to being like, 7 foot tall. Which reminds me, we should probably help her a bit more with interacting with the other people. Well, communication in general, because as cute as "Queen-san can't communicate" would be, it's not very practical.

We should help her with that when we get the chance
>>
>>4577554
Will see. I don't think her species is social but more like an ant hive style of life then again in the film, she didn't have human-level intellect. + the caravan full of weirdoes xd heck even the kid is complete bonkers take a look at xenomorph queen in google they are terrifying.
take a look at this image. scale down Queenie to 2.13meters (7 feet to you if you prefer.)

https://www.google.com/searchq=xenomorph+queen&sxsrf=ALeKk02psPnkGYvHIfKezgDCrk5M0AQ8Qw:1608435343893&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjH8sPK0NvtAhWh2uAKHXsaCVoQ_AUoAXoECAUQAw&biw=1366&bih=635#imgrc=ATPqMgSZdjaYrM
>>
>>4577570
Isn't Queenie less monster-like though? Like, doesnt she have booba?
>>
>>4577841
Idk I only heard that she was shorter.
>>
>>4577481
>>4577554
>>4577570
>>4577841
>>4577899
It's not 7 feet "tall" it's really 7 feet long, since the Xenomorphs are always doing that slightly hunched over crawl-stand, so Queenie's actually around the size of a horse if you don't count the tail.

Sarah continues apologizing, realizes you're already walking away, quickly shouts a "Thank You!" and runs off to find Zoey. As you arrive, Emperor starts yelling at you.
>"Took you long enough! I can't grab anything solid, so just find somewhere to grab and pull."
>"Also, don't..."
He suddenly cuts off.

Wat do?
>"Uh, hello?"
>Pull him by the ankles
>Pull him by the coat
>Write in.
>>
>>4578099
>Call queenie over then Pull him by the ankles.

this feel like a perfect horror story type situation lol.
>>
>>4578111
+1
>>
>>4578111
yup +1
>>
>>4578111
>>4578116
>>4578150
You call queenie over, she quickly runs to the bushes, and helps you grab onto his ankles, and pull him out. You're about to ask him why he stopped talking, but then you see exactly why. There is a zombified baby clinging directly onto his face. It's licking him all over, but hasn't bitten down yet.
>"geddit offfffff shitass"
He speaks softly to try to not agitate it.

wat do?
>"Stay still... QUEENIE ATTACK!"
>Try to rip it off
>Run back to the car and grab your gun, then shoot it from the side
???(1) Activates!
>FUCKIN UGLY REDS
>>
>>4578192
>Try to rip it off if you can't tell queenie to try. she is also a safety net if he tried to scream she can bite his head off.

I guess that za baby doesn't have teeth when he was zombified.
>>
>>4578200
Ahhh, that's cute!

Ditto
>>
>>4578192
Who's got your nose? Who's got your-........
>>
>>4578200
>>4578319
>>4578327
Uh, I'm going to assume you don't want to kill Emperor, and you meant biting the head off of the baby.

You slowly approach the baby, but the closer you get, the more it seems to swivel it's head around. You manage to grab onto it's legs, but as soon as you do, it panics and digs it's rotten hands into Emperor's skull.
>"shit-shit-shit man just back off for now."
Emperor tries to wiggle it off slowly, but ends up accidentally putting the baby's foot into his mouth. He retches, and struggles to slowly push it out.
Well, when the going gets tough, the tough tag in their kick-ass waifus/husbandos. Queenie decides to stop pussy-footing it around, steps in and rips the babies head off with her teeth, saving Emperor from having to possibly eat the child. Unfortunately, having a rotten babies head explode in a cloud of gore to be replaced with a alien creature of DOOOM (and cuteness) is not conductive to your mental health. Emperor screams, nearly swallows the foot, gags it out, takes an admittedly pretty decent swing at Queenie, than passes out.

Wat do?
>Poke him with a stick
>Drag him into the main camp
>Just leave him here
>Write in


This was not fetish fuel but holy shit did it come off as such, I should have just went with the normal crawling torsos.
>>
>>4578609
>just leave him there

We helped so much already
>>
>>4578609
>Drag him into the main camp
>>
>>4578654
Mate, listen.
"We are Canadian..."
that should clear everything.
>>
>>4578609
>Drag him into the main camp
>Give Queenie a headpat for the precise job
>>
>>4578609

>>4579110
Ditto
>>
>>4578679
>>4579110
>>4579116

You decide it's probably for the best if you don't let the guy stay near what might be a baby zombie infestation. You give Queenie a headpat, and she licks your face and wags her tail in response. You drag his body all the way to the main camp, which is really annoying, because he keeps flopping around while unconscious and you keep bumping him around so much you have to readjust your whole strategy at one point before the dude gets permanent brain damage. Queenie eventually takes pity on you and just kinda carries him like a sack of potatoes to the main camp. Leon seems to be doing his polishing ritual again, and Tyler looks like he's doing some weird meditation shit with some scrap metal. Hector is talking to "central" on the radio, and once more, he is yelling.
>"No, we did not use the contaminated cache from sector Z-N-25, I'm telling you-"
>"THERE ARE NECROMANCERS RUNNING AROUND YOU DONKEY SNIFFERS"
>"Plus, there are people running around from other worl-"
>"What do you mean unconfirmed?! We have hundreds of reports from all around our outposts, and most of them don't go to canada because-"
>"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. SHIT IT, JUST TELL ME THE LOCATION OF THE NEXT CACHE AND OUTPOST."
He slams down the receiver and lights up a cigarette.
>"Fuckin' mongoloids..."
He then spots you.
>"Hey there Anon, and... Queenie?"
>"Emps did something stupid again, didn't he?"
>"Just dump him onto the park table for now."

Wat do?
>"Emperor got attacked by a zombie baby and fainted like a bitch"
>"So, are we picking up people today?"
>"How many hours we got here? I wanna see if Queenie can hunt something down for us"
>"Uh, what's up with command?"
>Write in

Roll 2d100 knowledge checks for memory. First one gets minus 20, second one is neutral.
>>
Rolled 6, 30 = 36 (2d100)

>>4579517
>"Emperor got attacked by a zombie baby and fainted like a bitch"
>"Uh, what's up with command?"

First ones very important to say.
>>
>>4579551
Uhhh, just ignore that, it was a test roll....
>>
Rolled 7, 11 = 18 (2d100)

>>4579517
>"Emperor got attacked by a zombie baby and fainted like a bitch"
>"Uh, what's up with command?"

Sounds like some bad stuff.
>>
>>4579678
bad stuff indeed
>>
>>4579551
>>4579678
Holy shit, those rolls be shitting.

He snorts at the zombie thing.
>"Ah, Emperor, only person who has any "gym" muscle, but he's so scared of zombies he shits himself whenever one gets within arms reach. Doesn't help that he refuses to take off those sunglasses ever plus his other jackassery."
>"Still, he's made himself useful, and his shooting is decent, if nowhere near Leon's skills. He's also less of a dickass than before, so that's nice too."
He takes a extra long puff on his cigarette when you ask him about command
>"Fucking bastards created a reality warping machine to guide people on the path that actively destroys compasses when you hold them too close, but they don't believe in mutated zombies."
>"Hell, they still refuse to believe in guys like him"
He jerks his thumb at the kid in green, who's apparently trying to catch a butterfly to eat it. He's already got a whole ton in a net bag next to him. Hector does a double take before continuing.
>"And insist they're "colpayers" or something, I wasn't paying too much attention."
>"Sure, we can make food come back when no one looks at it, and also machines that ensure something never falls below 40% harvesting rate, but talking dogs and yelly zombies are too much to believe in."
>"I met the dogs, they gave me this seet jacket, they made this dagger, they fed me food, I have pictures of them, but everyone says I'm a "furry" or something."
>"They don't even fully believe in the cult, they just think it's a bunch of guys running around with vials of zombie blood rather than the actual magic."


Wat do?
>"Actual magic?I thought they just raised zombies"
>"You don't know what a furry is?"
>"Wait, did you tell them about Queenie?"
>"Well, that sucks. Say, aren't we supposed to pick some people up today?"
You get the nagging feeling there was some important stuff about last night's fight, but can't quite remember what.
>Write in
>>
>>4579792
>>"Actual magic?I thought they just raised zombies"
>>"Wait, did you tell them about Queenie?"

Pertinent questions, though the furry one gave me a chuckle.
>>
>>4579802

He gives you an incredulous stare
>"How else would they be raising them?"
>"I've killed many of those bastards, and they never have anything along the lines of biological vials, samples, or even hints of the infection, so by that logic, it must be magic."
>"There are rumors of them being able to use it to do more than raise zombies too, caravan got taken out by a bunch of cultists sacrificing their fingers to cause the car engine to rust over in the middle of a sea of zombies, a cultist that controls a bunch of knives by thought, and I bet those fucking squealers are from a new ritual they cooked up."
>"Well, I didn't get a chance before they started babbling at me for "discussing unconfirmed rumors" and "intentionally spreading demoralizing falsehoods" "
>"We will have to talk to them about... Your partner eventually, but I'd prefer to think about that later."
>"Anything else you wanna ask me? We have a less intense day than usual since we need to recruit some people, and the next trading post is chock full of weirdos, so I'm not looking forwards to that."
>"Then again, I guess we have a grand total of three-ish normal people here, so they'll fit right in. We'll be leaving in around 4 hours."

Wat do?
>Go and wander off
>"Will they have any, uh, problems with Queenie?"
>"Out of curiosity, which three are the normal ones?"
>Go and get queenie to hunt (takes 3 hours)
>Write in
>>
>>4580147
>Go and get queenie to hunt (takes 3 hours) Also scout for anything useful.

Queenie can't eat zombies, right?
>>
>>4580194
Ditto
>>
Hunt, why not.
>>
>>4580194
>>4580385
You've seen Queenie eat zombies sometimes, but she doesn't seem to enjoy it.

You nuzzle Queenie on the head doing that thing where you noogie someone with you own forehead, and ask her to go hunt something. Aaand now Hector's looking at you like you just ate a baby or something for some reason.

Wat do?
>"There's a zombie behind me isn't there"
>"What?"
>Write in
>>
>>4580609
>"What?"
>>
>>4580609
>"What?"
We're in the middle of the apocalypse, dealing with crazy cultists, and the weirdo is the guy dating an xenomorph with tiddies?
>>
>>4580616

He blinks a couple of times.
>"You just hissed and growled. Like a really weird long hiss, and you even did this weird clicking sound with your throat."
>"....Did you learn how to speak, um, nightmare bug or something?"
You've never noticed this, but that's probably because no ones ever seen you talking with Queenie before.

Wat do?
>>
>>4580627
>"I can speak with queenie here, yes."
>>
>>4580633
>hey, do you expect me to marry if I can't' understand my own wife?
>>
>>4580633
>>4580653
Ditto, this shit is rad!
>>
>>4580633
>>4580653
>>4580683
He chuckles,
>"Sorry, yeah, just kinda came out of nowhere."
>"Well, I'm going to try and fix up some stuff on my car, ran over a few more zombies then I'd liked to last night. See you around, and make sure you come up with a plan to explain your girlfriend to "
Time passes. Zoey comes around and tries looking for Queenie again, even as Sarah tells her how dangerous it is.
>"Then I'll just wear a helmet so I don't bump my head when I fall!"
Emperor wakes up, thanks you for taking care of the zombie, then does a friendly headbutt. At least, you think it's friendly, cause it knocked you both on your asses. Queenie comes back, and it appears she managed to grab shitloads of food. There is some blood on it tough.... (+6 Food). After a bit more of loafing around, Hector finally gives the order to move out, and after a comparatively short day of driving to a normal day, you pull over into a trading camp based on a old KOA campground. Hector wanders off into the campsite proper to see if there's anyone willing to come along with you guys, Emperor stays behind and begins to set up a makeshift target practice range, Leon just does some isometric exercise on the windowsills and prepares to go to bed early, Sarah grabs her daughter to buy some extra supplies, and Tyler grabs some of his food and heads to the weapon stall. Nothing really catches your eye beyond that besides a old man in a blue bathrobe and a wooden stagg with a sign scrawled with "Divinations" in purple crayon. You've parked your car a bit farther than the others, and after a bit of struggling and cutting extra holes for tails, Hector got Queenie to wear a blanket thing so it looks like you just have a tarp on your car.

Wat do?
>Go with Tyler to the weapon shop
>Go buy more supplies with Sarah and Zoey
>Go with Hector to recruit more people
>Stay behind and do some training with Emperor
>Stay behind and bond with Queenie (Write what you do)
>Go to the Old man
>Write in


Inventory
34 Food
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Glass shank

Fuel
105 Fuel
10 fuel each full day of driving
>>
>>4580711
>Stay behind and bond with Queenie
I don't think there's anything else we have to do right now, we've got weapons and the other ones are probably better at handling supplies.

Does anyone have an idea, though?
>>
>What? She's a smart girl. My little 'nightmare bug' has needs too. *pat queenie* We have a healthy relationship based on mutual understanding.
>>
>>4580715
Damn, late.
>>4580627
>>
>>4580721
I don't know about that. I mean, it doesn't sound bad, but it doesn't feel like the right choice.

We could do that thing that was talked about earlier and try to teach her to communicate better. We can understand each other, but it'd still be better to have communication that's more clear. I don't know, maybe teach her to understand human language a bit more? She's a smart girl.
>>
>>4580729
I guess...?
Write it then I will support your vote!
>>
>>4580712
Mock fight/wrestle
Find where she's softest to touch
Get comfy in blankets and feed her some squirrels
Clean some zombie viscera off from her exoskeleton

>>4580729
Some rudimentary hand signs? Writing? I kinda like the body language only.

Should try to find a pickup or something so she doesn't have to hang on the roof.
>>
>>4580711
>>4580739
>I ditto this.
>>
>>4580712
>>4580729
>>4580739
>>4580848
You spend a bit of time Mock fighting with Queenie, wrassling a bit, and snuggling in the blanket when you both get tired. After a while, you decide to try and teach Queenie bit tired. You've been able to understand Queenie pretty well, not to the level where you can tell if Timmy fell down the well (of course, she would probably be able to just climb down and grab him) though hissing, but enough to make conversation about simple topics. You keep trying to teach Queenie some english and such, and after a while, you realize it's going nowhere, her tongue and teeth do not have the capacity to properly pronounce words, at least not with your shoddy tutoring. You do think you got Queenie to understand "handshake" as well as "hello" but only if you pronounce it with a deep voice for some reason. It feels kinda weird to be training her like a dog, but you guess that that's what most people feel when they watch someone trying to learn a new language. You try to continue, but Queenie growls out that her head hurts from the learnding of words (Your whatever-Queenie-is-ese is a bit rusty) so you decide to stop there. You did consider other methods, but Hand signs are a bit too hard for her claws right now, and the body language is very.... Well, not subtle, but enough to make people panic if they interpret it wrong, her "happy to see you" stance looks a lot like the "scanning for nearby prey" stance. You could always try these next time.


You still have a bit of time to kill. Tyler's come back from the stall, and looks quite pleased. Sarah and Zoey have brought back what looks like some fuel as well as some spare tires too. Emperor is helping Sarah install the tires, but he's doing most of the work and he's pretty much done. Hector still hasn't come back yet. The Old man is now waving at you.
>"Hey! You! I know you have stuff you need divined! I also sell stuff!"

Wat do?
>Go over to the old man
>"Hey tyler, what'd you get from the stall?"
>Search for Hector
>"Hey Emperor, wanna help me check If Queenie's learning English alright?"
>Go to the weapon stall
>Write in

Inventory
34 Food
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Glass shank

Fuel
105 Fuel
10 fuel each full day of driving
>>
>>4580858
>Go over to the old man

Do I have something that needs to be divined???
>>
>>4580860
As soon as you walk over, the old man starts pulling pouches of glitter and smoke bombs in order to try and look mystical. Unfortunately, most of the bombs have gone bad, and the glitters fused together, so all he really does is send himself into a coughing fit and hit you in the face with a melted together clump of cheap glitter.
>"Welcome to my humble shop!"
>"I can read your future, your soul, and even sell you some top notch equipment!"
>"For you Anon, it'll take 20 Food for a full divination course, and smaller ones can be done for 5 food. Can't do it for the clown or your ladyfriend before you ask."
>"Of course, I offer some fine trinkets as well!"
>"So! You want your very being laid bare first or to see my wares?"

Wat do?
>Wares
>Soul
>back away slowly
>Write in
>>
>>4580976
>look around if he had something useful if not (most likely) say good day to you and leave.
>>
>>4580988
Ditto
>>
>>4580988
>>4581121
Is... Ditto a in-joke now for this thing? Also him mentioning you by name was supposed to be a hint that he's somewhat legit and not a oversight, but I make so many fuck-ups that that probbably flies under the radar.

>"Ah, so you want to see my wares first! A good choice! Introspection is the most reliable way of soul searching in the long run, of course, that's as long as you never shat yourself before the age of 21, that blocks out all your chakras, it's not impossible, but does make it a lot harder and finicky."
He begins pulling up a massive trash bag onto the table
>"Now before ERGH, I show you my stuff, just to let you know, ERG, everything's rather GAH! expensive."
>"Now lemme see what would you need...."
He rummages through the sack and brings out
>spear with a bone head with intricate carvings
>blackened skull with [lime]I O U[/lime] spray painted on it
>A set of demonic looking rings (eight of them)
>battered-looking manga collection
>weird vial of black goop
>doubloon with a parrot and a skeleton instead of the usual heads and tails

>"Go on! Ask me about them! I can only do three of them, for reasons I can't into right now."
He then mouths "Leprechaun curses"
>"Also for a similar, but very distinct reason, this is a one time deal, you buy them now, or never."
He then mouths "Lazy QM"
He then starts vigorously digging for nostril, ear, and belly gold while he looks at you expectantly.

>Ask him about.... (Insert Item here)
>Back away slowly
>Write in
>>
>>4581142
>Ask about rings, goop aaand... (difficult pick) spear.
>Get spear, ride queenie into battle.
>>
>>4581271
Don't actually buy the spear yet. Lets see what it is about first.
>>
>>4581142
>doubloon with a parrot and a skeleton instead of the usual heads and tails
>>
>>4581142
>>4581271
Ditto but take the skull with IOU rather than rings.
Never take something evil looking.
>>
>>4581142
Ok so confirmed our name is Anon.
>>
>>4581271
>>4581274
>>4581330
>>4581418
Votes so far
Skull x1
Goop x2
Spear x2
Doubloon x1
Rings x1

Picking at random... Goop. As a reminder, he's just telling you about the objects, not selling you them just yet.

You point at the goop, which appears to be perpetually swirling around in the canister.
>"Ah, a fine choice. Let's see what it does again"
He scrunches up his face for a few seconds, and gives up, grabs a notebook with a dead rat stapled to the cover, flips to a page, and nods.
>"Drink it. It's good for you."
>"Only you, don't give it to someone else unless you want to know what Ski-lapse is."
>"And make sure not to do it in a enclosed space, like car enclosed, not room enclosed."
He then returns to digging away at his earwax, and a particularly huge piece falls out, and he grins as he takes a piece of tape and sticks in the back of his notebook.
>"Oh yeah, the price. It's 10 food, or any maybe a weapon, like I don't know, a rifle, anything that shoots stuff."

Wat do?
>"Wait, that's all you'll tell me?"
>Buy the thing
>HAGGLE!
>Move on to the next item.
>Back away slowly
>Back away quickly.
>Write in

Inventory
34 Food
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Glass shank
>>
>>4581580
>"Wait, that's all you'll tell me? what does it do exactly?" then move to the next item after he explains.
> will see if we can try and buy in a bundle to cheapen the price.
>>
>>4581580
>Oookay..
>"Wait, that's all you'll tell me?"
>Move on to the next item.
>>
>>4581592
>>4581593
Since none of you changed your votes, I'm moving onto the spear.

>"Yep! It's more fun this way!"
>"Besides, remember"
He then mouths "Voodoo curses"
>"So I couldn't tell you more, even if I wanted to."
>"We'll haggle further later, after I'm done telling you about everything you want me to."
You decide to ask him about the spear next.
He heaves it up to the table.
>"The shafts made of very durable wood, very strong, could make for a good whacking stick if it wasn't a-a spear."
>"The tips made of... well, uh, big snake bones, I was raiding a zoo for food, and once I was done harvesting a lion kidney, I found this really, really big snake, like totally big. I love eating snakes, so I skinned it, and took some of it's teeth. I then slapped the teeth onto a pole, and boom. Awesome spear."
>"25 Food for the thing, and if you do a... Favor for me, I'll let you give it a test run and lower the price a bit."

Wat do?
>"How big exactly?"
>"What's the favor?"
>Buy the thing
>Move on to the
Skull
Manga Set
Rings
Doubloon

>Back away slowly
>Back away quickly.
>Write in

Inventory
34 Food
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Glass shank
>>
>>4581636
>So it's a normal spear, nothing unusual about it?
>Are the rings just normal rings too?
>>
>>4581647
>>4581142
>"Go on! Ask me about them! I can only do three of them, for reasons I can't into right now."
>>
>>4581636
>>4581648
Ditto!!
>>
>>4581647
>>4581648
He sighs, and once more mouths "Leprechaun curses" about your request to explain them all. He can tell you that the rings do stuff, but to do more than that you'd have to use up your final explanation. As for the spear...
>"Well, it's a good handmade spear, not like the ones that hackjob at the weapons store sells."
>"Those things, break, this thing? Hasn't so far."
>"Plus, giant snake bonnneee."
>"And remember, test drive favor discount!"

Wat do?
>"What's the favor?"
>Move on to the
Skull
Manga Set
Rings
Doubloon
>Buy it! (-25 Food)
>Back away
>Write in
>>
>>4581678
>Ask more about the rings. Do they grant boons or curse your enemies. He's not selling cursed items, is he?
>Matching ring for us and queenie
>>
>>4581678
okay, so We will prob buy the spear and the goop that's clear so we need to test it.
we can exchange the Pistol for the goop but not the bullets.!
>"What's the favor?"

then we want the rings.
because the Skull may have something to do with necromancy so pass for now.
The manga set looks like a hit or miss item tho.
the doubloon is too sus. maybe it has to do with luck?

>ok so the last explanation is The rings then.
we need to see if it's cursed or if it has some usefull effect.
>>
>>4581683
>>4581694

>"Ah! The rings! A very very fine choice! They were um, made of er... Well I forgot how they were made, but I can tell you what they do! and what they do is... Gimme a second"
He spends around half a minute rifling through his trash bag before returning to you. You're at least 80% sure you heard something bite him inside the bag.
>"Well, I know for a fact that the instructions are in there somewhere, but I cannot be assed to pull them out if you aren't going to buy them."
>"They're safe, as long as you follow the instructions, and they definitely have some matching pairs in there."
>"For now, just look at them, they're pretty, at least in my pot-stricken eyes."
He lays them out on the table... and jeez they're weird. They all appear to be carved out of pure gems and such, so that's something.
There's a pair with two octopus looking things on them, carved out of a purple rock. You swear to god the positions of the tentacles change each time you blink.
There's another pair, this time looking like a pair of snakes devouring their own tails, with one white and one black.
The rest are a Dragon with ruby eyes and a golden body, one that's made out of what looks like fur and bone, a one that's a jade clover, and finally, an obsidian ring with the words "anihc edam lleh" on it inscribed in red.
>"This set's expensive, 15 food total. And before you complain, if I had the time, I could sell these to a bling obsessed for 10 food a ring easy if I wasn't so lazy."
>"Remember, you can still buy the other items, you'll just have no idea what they do."
He picks more vigorously at his nose
>"Oh dead baby seals, nose bleed!"
He grabs a corner of his bathrobe and pinches his nose.

Wat do?
>"Let's hear the favor"
>"How much would buying the three Items in a bundle cost me?"
>"Is there a special discount if I buy them all and do the favor?"
>Buy the rings (-15 food)
>Walk away
>>
>>4581800
>"How much would buying the three Items in a bundle cost me?"
>>
>>4581800
>"Let's hear the favor"

With the murderhobo route, we could have them all!
>>
>>4581810
yeah, but he could have magical powers...
>>
>>4581803
>>4581810
>"All of the items? Uhhh, how about... 36 food? Yeah, that's like, around 5 food off each one and uh.... 15 food less than buying them individually dude."
He marks down something in his notebook, it appears it's the"did not accidentally give away stuff for free" section
>"Now, for the favor, there's this small eensy, bitsy problem with this trade camp that needs to be dealt with."
>"There's a decently sized cult outpost 20 minutes of walking to our west. Go in there and kill them all. I don't care how, spear them all, shoot them all, hire a mentally stunted immigrant worker, just do it. Don't take any mustical- mystical looking loot-things unless there's a bunch of them, I call dibs. It's fine if you accidentally blow some of it up, just don't completely devastate the place."
>"The spear would be 7 food then, and the whole package deal would be.... 25-ish food then."
>"Interested? I'll throw in this bag of weeeeeeeed!"

Wat do?
>"Nah."
>"Sure, point me west and hand me the spear."
>"...Depends, how good's the weed?"
>"Any more information on the cult?"
>Write in.
>>
>>4581847
>"Any more information on the cult?"
numbers of cultists?
the number of zombies?
>>
>>4581847
>"...Depends, how good's the weed?"
>"Any more information on the cult?"

Probably a sure thing, but we can't look to eager now, can't we?
>>
>>4581852
>>4581856
>"The weed? It's great, very strong, and very safe. Made it myself! Just make sure not to bake it into anything, you might as well ingest moldy mushrooms and some cyanide mixed with grey death, it'd be a more pleasant experience at that point."
>"Hell, I've even got whatchu call them, prospective franchieesesses lining up to sell them."
He scratches his chin when you talk about the cult.
>"Well... It's not large or much of a potential threat as least according to the Canadians, but apparently they have more magic thingies then the average cult outpost."
>"Of course, none of it's as good as my stuff, so they don't use it as much as you think they'd would. My magic missles just require a small tribute of energy, while theirs needs blood. Of course, that rat-faced bastard always cheats and sacrifices one of his flunkies to strengthen them."
>"They all do genuinely suck balls, and require stupidly complicated rituals, so you should be fiiiiine."
>"Right, got sidetracked. Ummm... I think around 12 cultists and rat-face, as far as I can tell. Rat-face knows a couple of spells, but again, they suck donkey ass. Also some zombies, but I don't have any idea how many they have, but not enough to take ME on!"
>"And before you ask why I don't do it because I'm so awesome, it's because they used one of their shitty artifacts to ward me, makes me wander around like that stupid looking guy who couldn't find that french blue gnome village."
>"Oh, and I'll throw in something else random from my bag if you're willing to grab a bunch of the loot for me, Especially if you bring back a staff with a ice cream cone head. That's mine, ratbastard stole it."

Take on the job?
>Y
>N
>Go see if anyone else wants to help besides Queenie.
>Write in
>>
>>4581902
>Y
>Go see if anyone else wants to help besides Queenie.
why not? we clean the area of trash and get magic items!
>buy the spear and the goop first tho.
>>
>>4581909
You get the spear as a "free trial" during the favor. Also, If you buy the goop now, you will get less value out of the bundle package.
>>
>>4581916
true, So I guess. only spear for now.
>>
>>4581902
>Y
Give queenie some cultists to munch
>>
>>4581909
>>4582185
>"Excellent!"
He hands you the spear and hands you a shoddily drawn map leading you to the hideout.
>"Ignore the red parts, those are taco sauce stains."
>"Oh, and one more thing."
He grabs you by the neck and you can feel the slime permeating your skin, his pink and bloodshot eyes bulge and his breath has the stench of human flesh on it.
>"If you even think of trying to steal the spear, I'll stalk you right up until you're about to enter Canada, then I'll skin you alive, de-bonify your friends, liquify your girlfriend, and stuff you all into a taco shell and eat it."
>"Alright then! Good Luck!"
He pushes you towards the general direction of your camp. Welp, you're traumatized for life, better start saving up for therapy.

Nothing much has changed, Hector isn't back, Leons still snoring, except Emperor is now trying to keep a beer bottle out of the reach of Zoey. You shove your food into your trunk, and try to evaluate who you should bring along. It's already kinda late, the suns in the position where you couldn't really call it sunset, but it's low enough to make it hard to describe when the english teacher assigns a arbitrarily long writing assignment.

Wat do?
>"Hey Tyler, you want to go raid a Cultist base?"
>Ask Emperor to come with you (Write what you say)
>Wait for Hector to come back
>Just go with Queenie
>Write in


Inventory
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
>>
>>4582435
>"Hey Tyler, you want to go raid a Cultist base?"
Should we attack in the morn when they are prob sleeping?
>>
>>4582435
>Tell the clown the cultists are holding balloon animals as hostage, we must free them before it's too late. We need him on the team. (this is a joke, maybe)
Whoever we bring in addition to queenie is good, more expendable crew members.
>>
>>4582437
>>4582450
Ditto
>>
>>4582437
>>4582450
>>4582461

You walk over to Hector's car, spotting Tyler doing some weird Tai-chi Yoga things.
>"Hey Tyler, you want to go raid a cultist base?"
You don't even get to elaborate on why before he trips, and starts grabbing stuff out of the trunk.
>"Sure! Let's do this! Shit's getting real boring, I'd thought Hector would have grabbed someone new to talk to, but he still isn't back and it's been forever!"
>"I don't want that much of the loot, but I'm kinda running low on food, and don't want to have to bum it from anyone, so I kinda need some of it, that okay?"

It okay?
>Y
>N
>Write in.
>>
>>4582506
>How much is some? Should not be more than third.
>I guess it's fine.
>>
>>4582538
+1
>>
>>4582506
>>4582538
>ditto but after fights! because I need some of it for trade!
>>
>>4582538
>>4582551
>"Uhhh, I'm not good with numbers, but it's not really all that much, maybe like 7-10 food?"
>"Should be plenty for the both of us, after all, those cultists still need to eat."
He grabs some water, some weird balls of duct tape, a rather large backpack and a small weird plastic box with a bunch of wires and buttons hanging of it.
>"I'm just happy that Bobble's been quiet recently, he might be kinda upset that you "stole" chuck from him, but as far as I care, he can fall into the clutches of the cult and get eaten by vultures."
>"Lemme just grab my mask and we'll be ready to go!"
Wait, a mask? Is he one of those nut jobs who still thinks the virus can spread by ai-
Choose a fate.
>JOY JOY JOY JOY DOWN IN MY HEART
>I WAS BORN IN THE U S A
>>
>>4582554
sorry dude, just missed you
>>
>>4582564
Am I supposed to know something? With those options I might as well throw a dice, I don't understand their meaning.
>>
>>4582572
no worries mate!
>>
>>4582564
maybe he means superhero mask? hopefully?
>>JOY JOY JOY JOY DOWN IN MY HEART
I was not born in the USA so the top one is the one I go for!
>>
>>4582574
Fine, here's a slightly more hinty option
>Broken Warrior
>Forged in Madness
>>
>>4582745
They're the same options as before, just different wording
>>
>>4582745
>Forged in Madness
>>
>>4582745
>Forged in Madness
>>
File: TOny.jpg (112 KB, 570x857)
112 KB
112 KB JPG
>>4582939
>>4582959
Not gonna be as many update as usual for today, christmas.

He puts on a darkly covered blood stained tiger mask, with one eye gouged out and the teeth chipped. It's basically pic related, but it covers the whole head, has fake fur on it in places and is dark and grey.
>"Let's do this! Yeah!"
....Alright then. TYLER THE CAVE TIGER HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!
Well, you've got the map, 2 teammates, and a snake bone spear at your side.

Wat do?
>No sense in wasting time and splitting up the loot more, let's go!
>See if Emperor is willing to join
>Change your mind about this whole thing and return the spear
>Write in

>Inventory
Pistol, 15 bullets
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
>>
>>4583169
>No sense in wasting time and splitting up the loot more, let's go!
most of them will be weak mages I guess so let'su go!
>>
>>4583174
Ditto
>>
>>4583169
>No sense in wasting time and splitting up the loot more, let's go!
>>
>>4583174
>>4583196
>>4583533

Before you leave, you grab your Medkit, it doesn't sound like the cultists will be too big of a deal, but it never hurts to be careful.

You follow the poorly drawn map, and on the way make conversation with Tyler, with Queenie mostly scouting ahead and killing whatever Squirrels are unfortunate enough to be caught in her wake. She also brings several of their corpses for you, which is... nice. Along the way, you learn a fair bit about Tyler's former life. He was a minor online famous guy that had one of those "exploring caves abandoned buildings" channels that eventually somehow expanded to spiritual advice, ghost hunting/fighting and some meditation stuff. He got famous enough to have a small netflix series on this martial art he made, but something happened before the first season was finished and everything was canceled. He gets quiet whenever you try to ask about what happened, and steers the conversation to something else as soon as he can. Also, you're fairly sure some of that mask blood is still fresh somehow. You're talking about some random stuff when you see the first signs of the cult base.
>"Look, all I'm saying is the first movie makes no sense if you take into the account the sword-kings from the fifth one"
>"Well yeah, but it's a good movie, and everything after the third is technically a separate timeline because of the filler arc takeover in the TV show"
>"Wait, filler arc tak-"
You are cut short as you see a robed cultist leading a bunch of zombies around in a break in the forest, he's wearing this weird skull with some purple patterns on it. He waves his hands and the zombies jerk around to follow his movements, and he makes two of them slapfight for a bit before getting bored.

Wat do?
>Shoot him!
>Throw the spear at him.
>Sneak around?
??? Perk activates!
>WARLORD'S CHALLENGE
>METALSTORM

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4583920
>Queenie, time to play.
We could try throwing spear at him as another option but it's risky. I just think we should keep stealth as long as we can.
>>
>>4583920
>>4583935
ya, better let queenie eat his face.
>>
>>4583935
>>4583972
You attempt to make one of those "go" signs to signal Queenie to sneak up to him. She licks your face. Oops. After just telling her normally, she tries to approach the cultist through the throng of zombies. Surprisingly, the zombies seem to be more dominated by whatever the cultist is doing instead of their instincts, so they ignore Queenie and continue doing various silly things for the cultist. She approaches, and she manages to get close enough, and lashes her tail out at their head from behind, but is suddenly blocked by a pale purple shield as the skull cap's markings glow purple as well. It holds up for a few seconds before rapidly turning orange, and the shield shatters. Queenie still scores a glancing blow on them.
>"Wh-what the hell!? Zombies! Get this thing!"
The zombies begin to shuffle towards Queenie, and she hisses in response, lashing out with her tail and claws.

Wat do?
>Snipe the guy from here with bullets/spear
>Provide covering fire for Queenie
>Sneak around and attack with the spear
??? Perk
>ROAD TO HELL

>Write in

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4584040
>go and attack with the spear.
the zombies&co are all focusing on queenie now get his ass!!
>>
>>4584046
As Queenie swipes away at the zombies, you and tyler have the same idea, and both rush the cultist, and Tyler pulls slightly ahead of you, on account of the fact exploring caves while yelling memes at full volume is more conductive to health than spreadsheets. The cultist turns around and begins chanting, and a purple sigil appears in front of him. Fortunately, you manage to get in close, and stab him right through the thigh as Tyler gets closer wait a minute, he has no weapon, how is he going to-
*CRACK*
Tyler punches the cultist across the face, and before the cultist gets to pull any more Voodoo shit, Tyler continues the beatdown. He keeps going... and going... okay, this is ridiculous, the cultist's face doesn't even resemble human skin anymore. He's totally dead. The zombies are rapidly swarming Queenie, and while she hasn't taken any bites from them yet, they're starting to do that dogpile thing football teams do in cartoons.

Wat do? roll a d100
>*Simpsons reference*
>Deal with Tyler later, help Queenie
>Shoot some zombies
??? PERK
>X SHALL GIVE
>KEBAB

>Write in
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4584120
>KEBAB
>>
>>4584120
>X SHALL GIVE

>Knock Knock
>Open up the door
>It's real
>>
>>4584120
Once again I have no idea what 'x shall give means' , but kebab sounds like impaling some zombies
>KEBAB
>>
>>4584121
>>4584122
>>4584529
KEBAB

You rush in and impale 4 zombies through their chests as they swipe at Queenie. They seem to be hardier than the usual dregs you've fought, and they weakly try to pry themselves off the spear. You strain yourself and manage to flip them all on their sides are you swipe the spear left to right with teh zombies still attached. Queenie rips one zombie's face off. You hear a wet tearing sound behind you. Suddenly, you feel a strange energy rise up within you, and you feel like you can channel it into your spear.

Wat do? (This is a free action)
??? Corruption activates! Potential Actions have been deleted!
>Channel some energy into the spear
>Channel a lot of energy into the spear
>Channel as much as you can
>>
>>4584959
>Channel a lot of energy into the spear
no need to make ourselves vulnerable by making us out of energy.
>>
>>4584959
>Channel a lot of energy into the spear
>>
>>4584960
>>4584966

You feel the power flow from you, and the spear begins to glow slightly, and green ooze begins to enemate from the zombie's face orifices, they jitter around a bit, trying to shake off the ooze, then they die. Queenie slaps two more zombies off their feet, and rips the arms off another, dropping it. Tyler appears to be done mutilating the corpse, and come in, and punches two zombies in the face, heavily damaging them.
>"YAAAAH!"
It'd be nice if he wasn't screaming so much tough.

There are only 5 zombies left, Wat do?
>"Tyler, we're trying to do stealth!"
>continue spearing zombies
>this is a waste of time, break off and mover further into the cmap
>write in

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4585075
>"Tyler, we're trying to do stealth!"
>this is a waste of time, break off and move further into the camp
Zombies are slow, better kill the camp and be done with this. we can clean later
>>
>>4585075
>"Tyler, we're trying to do stealth! YAAAH! quieter"
>continue spearing zombies
Then we need to find a cultist to ooze
>>
>>4585095
>>4585107
>"Tyler, we're trying to do stealth!"
>"Fine. yahhhhhhhh."
The zombies aren't that much of priority, you spear one more in the head, Queenie rips off the legs of the rest, and Tyler stomp's ones arms off. You leave the grabby torsos there and sneak further into the meadow/clearing. As you approach, you see a humongus log cabin with a oval window covered up with blinds, a good, expensive one that probably got internet before the apocalypse because of a satellite dish or something. The chimney has some whispy smoke coming out of it, so there are definitely people inside. You see a white van outside, and it appears the window's been smashed in and someone was dragged out of the driver's seat, judging from all the bloodstains. There's a flayed corpse on the porch, (probably the poor owner of the van) and the whole house is absolutely covered in random occult symbols. You don't see any signs of zombies, cultists, or much of anything really, the sounds of wildlife and even bugs stopped a while back. Tyler taps you on the shoulder
>"Hey, Anon, I say we take the van, hijack it, and plow the thing into the cabin using the old weight on the pedal trick!"
>"Don't worry about the lock. I can take care of it."

Wat do?
>Sneak around and see if there's a back entrance
>Approach the porch cautiously
>Volley a bunch of shots into the window
>Go with Tyler's plan
>"Wait, you know how to pick locks?"
??? PERK
>RAZORMIND
>MODERN DESIGN REFUSES TO ADMIT CRIMINALS EXIST


>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4585318
>>Sneak around and see if there's a back entrance
>>
>>4585318
>"Wait, you know how to pick locks?"
>Sneak around and see if there's a back entrance
Although I'm curious to see what
>RAZORMIND
Is about
>>
>>4585318
I gotta know what the hell
>RAZORMIND
is
>>
>>4585323
>>4585604
>>4585640
Alright, back entrance wins over Razormind.

>"Wait, you know how to pick locks?"
>"Of course I do, I had to learn it because I was exploring abandoned buildings and stuff, and pretty much only that and nothing else!"
>"...Right."

You both decide to move around to the back, Tyler might be able to break in that way. Soon enough, you see a small group of cultists, 5 of them enjoying a smoke break in the back near an open door leading to the back of the cabin. One of them seems to own the smokes, grabbing them form a elaborately carved wooden box. They haven't seen you yet.
>"Did you get basement duty today?"
>"Yeah, I hate lugging down all that shit down there."
>"At least you aren't on guard duty."
>"Yeah."

Wat do?
>Try to sneak behind them and get into the cabin
>Fire a shot at them from here
>Rush in with a spear
??? Perk
>RAGNAROK

>write in

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4585993
>RAGNAROK
I wanna see what the perks do desu
>>
>>4585993
>>RAGNAROK
>>
>>4586188
>>4586265

Struck with an indescribable amount of anger and bloodlust, and rush the cultists, screaming at full volume while raising your spear. They don't even have enough time to react as you pierce one right through the chest and channel as much energy as you can possibly muster through your spear. Suddenly, it the tip begins to twist and bend, and a serpentine begins to form, seemingly draining the cultists mass to fuel it's growth. It seems you got the lame magic that needs to obey the laws of physics somewhat. The one who was holding the cigarette box quickly snatches the other's and begins to place them into his own mouth and begins making some hand signs. The remaining three split up and surround you, each pulling out a ritual dagger for themselves. They look basically the same, but all have tiny differences like one having more rust, one being noticeably more elaborate, and one is made of pure bone bone.
>"I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING STEALTH!"
Tyler and Queenie scramble forward, completely unprepared for your reckless charge.

Wat do? Clarify which cultist you're trying to attack.
>Wrench the spear out of the dead cultist and attempt to attack with it
>leave the spear and try to hit someone with your bat
???
>MY BLOOD SHALL FEED THE WORLD'S END
>MY FAVORITE GENRE IS BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA
>HOKEY RELIGIONS

??? Corruption increases! Write ins are not valid for this post!

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4586501
>MY BLOOD SHALL FEED THE WORLD'S END
>>
>>4586501
>MY BLOOD SHALL FEED THE WORLD'S END
>>
>>4586663
>>4586705
Guys, maybe using the actions that cause corruption is not the best idea? Unless we're just going fuck it and leaning into it.
>>
>>4586709
well, I am insanely curious about what corruption does.
and it can be a big powerboost.
>>
>>4586712
I'm interested if we could use.
>draining the cultists mass to fuel it's growth.
More! Let the Serpent feast and send it to the rat's nest. But no write-ins.
>>
>>4586705
>>4586501
attack the hand signs guy
>>
>>4586663
>>4586709
>>4586979
>>4586983
MY BLOOD SHALL FEED THE WORLD'S END

You begin to see red, and draw your Glass shank before slashing your hand with it, spraying the blood all over the twisting growth, causing the snake to grow faster and crimson in coloration. You then shank the cultist with the rusty blade, and flick their blood onto the snake, making it grow even larger. You suddenly feel a pain in your backside, and whirl around to find that you have been sliced by the cultist with the bone knife.
>"FOOL! You have just been stabbed by Anuskibis! I crafted this sacred artifact from the most twisted and divine of zombie bone, imbuing it with the blessing of rot, it's wounds is enough to turn her-"
Tyler finally reaches you, and punches the cultist across the face, making a nasty crunching sound a bit of his cheek flesh gets stuck on the spikes of Tyler's brass knuckles. Queenie leaps at the one with the rusty dagger, but he dives out of the way and lands on his face. The one with an elaborate dagger chants quickly, and a blue rune suddenly appears in front of your head.
>"SHIT! This guy got some blood curses! Be careful!"
She then starts up another chant, and her mouth begins to glow green...
The one who had the smokes then finishes making their hand signs, and two wispy smoke clouds rises from his cigarettes, and form into smoky clones of him, flicking their hands and turning them into blades. The snake's around three feet long now, and drains a little more of the cultist's mass, giving it a bit more girth.

(The bone knife cultist is still alive, just on the ground)

??? Corruption increases! Write-ins are not valid, and reduced normal choices!
>Take out the spear, the snake's big enough and attack a cultist.
>Get a grip!
???
>BRUTALITY
>ETERNAL ENGINE
>EXECUTION
>FEED THE HERALDS

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4587185
Whichever option makes us to take out the one on the ground. Execution? Or
>FEED THE HERALDS
>>
>>4587185
>EXECUTION
feed the spear the bone guy the charge the hand sings guy
>>
>>4587215
I think the spear is lodged to a one dead cultist and is bei g fed upon. Moving the spear implies the process is interrupted. Ofc if we just bleed someone dry on it to feed it...
>>
>>4587185
Leave bone knife guy alive for now, he'll make a good snack for either Queenie or the snake later.

>>4587212
>>4587215
Also ditto. If we're exploring our abilities we might as well go overboard.
>>
>>4587224
then how are we gonna fight?
>>
>>4587224
and I think the snake has grown enough. we could stand to get a second snake.
>>
>>4587238
We have glass shank, bat, and pistol.
>>4587237
Guy who cursed us and is preparing another spell is the one on the ground, isn't he? He's the biggest threat atm. Should get him.
>>
>>4587244
no there are 4 guys. 3 with a knife and cigarette guy. the bone knife is on the ground while the cigarette guy is preparing a spell.
>>
>>4587215
>>4587212
EXECUTION

Another surge of Bloodlust rushes through you, your head pounds with the fury of war. You tear out the spear of the cultist and kick his body into the ground, and plunge the spear into the downed cultist's head, and again, the spear starts harvesting the flesh to create another serpent.
>"Shit! They got Malikai!"
The smokey clones move in to engage Queenie, and they manage to land some decent blows, drawing a bit of blood before Queenie slices them in half. Unfortunately, they're smoke, so they start to slowly reform. The cultist with a rusty blade tries to rush into the cabin, but is jumped by Tyler and dragged into a brawl on the ground. The smoker keeps doing his hand signs, and the one who casta a identify curse on you or something finishes her chant, and breathes out some green gas onto Queenie, which looks completely useless for whatever reason. The snake you made manifests into it's form, slithering towards the brawl between Tyler and Rust-dagger, latching onto rusty's knee and crunching down.

PENULTIMATE ??? CORRUPTION! ONLY ??? OPTIONS, NO WRITE INS.
>BLOOD FOR BLOOD
>CORPSE RAM
>REMEMBER, NO CULTIST
>FEED THE HUNGER

>calm the fuck down!

>Inventory
Pistol, 7 bullets in clip 8 bullets in reserve
Bat
Snake Spear (Stuck in cultist)
Glass shank
Medkit
>>
>>4587572
>FEED THE HUNGER
>>
>FEED THE HUNGER
>>
>>4587573
>>4587929

You rush straight at the smoker cultist, and he fires a smoky dagger at you from his hand, gashing your left arm before you grab his throat, chokeslam him into the ground, and fire a bullet into his head. You the grab the body, and chuck it at the spear plunged in the body of the bone knife guy, which begins to feed on his corpse too. The Cultist with a rusty dagger does a incantation, and Tyler suddenly slows down considerably, creating a opening, he kicks tyler off before plunging his dagger into the snake in his Knee, which only bites harder in response. It appears that those smoky clones aren't tied to the user. Queenie unleashes a furios hail of blows until one finally dissipates, but the other one persists. Suddenly, you hear the clanging of a bell within your mind, and you hear a shit eating laugh from the cultist with the elaborate dagger.
>"Despair heretics! I just sounded the mystical alarm of Azhag, our leader is retreating to his inner sanctum, and our veterans are coming!"
AS she finishes, 6

??? CORRUPTION MAXIMIZED
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
> RED RAGE
>>
>>4588324
*more cultist emerge from the building, armed with swords and spears. You suddenly gain a cripplingly painful headache, falling to your knees and you suddenly feel as you are being watched by a mighty warlord and they command you to fight.
>>
>>4588324
> RED RAGE
>>
>>4588324
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
>RED RAGE
>>
>>4588347
>>4588441

THE WORLD IS MY CANVAS AND YOUR BLOOD IS MY PAINT. I AM THE DESTROYER MADE FLESH, GIVEN FORM. WE ARE THE BEAST OF SLID, HERALD OF THE SKULL LORD.

....You wake up, passed out on the ground. There is blood everywhere, and you are in enough pain to be unsure if it's yours or the cultists. There is a small ocean (Lake? Puddle?) of corpses around you, both zombie and cultist. You scan quickly to see if Tyler or Queenie were injured. Thankfully, Tyler and Queenie are both just attempting to smoke the cigarettes from the fancy case. Tyler's cigarettes keeping forming little smoky hands and pushing themselves out of his mouth, and Queenie is just eating them along with some cultist's hands. Tyler nudges Queenie as he spots you. Queenie immediately tackles you, and begins giving you slobbery-lick-kisses. After a couple of minutes, she calms down enough to let you get out under her. You ask Tyler what happened.
>"Dude, you went completely apeshit, it was crazy. You shot every cultist in the gut, speared them, beat the fuck out of every zombie that got close enough, and shoved a glass knife or something in the face of the guy who looked like he was the leader. You, uhhh, also ate the snakes and ripped fancy-blade's cultist's arm off, but they're still alive."
>"You took a whole load of damage though, you weren't really concerned with dodging, so I had to use your medkit as well as some of my supplies to stop you from bleeding out, and you were still breathing pretty weird after too."
>"You also really, really, fucked up your pistol, I threw it away, it'd be easier to find a new one than pick out all the gore and ding out the dents."
>"We don't really know what to do with that cultist that somehow survived, but they seem pretty content to stay tied up and shut up."
>"Some cultists escaped back into the cabin, but there were only, like two of them."

Wat do?
>Interrogate cultist
>"How long was I out?"
>"Wait, did you say I ate the snakes?"
>No time to waste, get in the cabin
>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4588529
>"How long was I out?"
>look for the staff
>>
>>4588529
>Pet Queenie
>"Wait, did you say I ate the snakes?"
>>
>>4588529
>Interrogate cultist
>Put that cookie down!

Figured why not add to the indecision, and include one last holiday movie reference before the New Years! Cheers lads!
>>
>>4589209
cheers to you too mate!
https://imgur.com/gallery/sJ5AUCx
here's a kiss from queenie!
>>
>>4589318
Awww! That's incredibly sweet of you! Thanks mate!
>>
>>4588837
>>4588950
>>4589209
Once more, less updates than usual because of the holiday. Also, most of these are compatible, except the cookie thing.

>"How long was I- wait, did you say I ate the snakes?"
>"Well, to answer your first question, around a hour, and second, kinda?"
>"Well, it's more like they turned into rays of light and vaporized into your mouth"
You stand up to pat Queenie, but almost immediately fall back on your ass, your muscles weak from whatever berserker rage you just went on. You stagger back onto your feet and look around after giving Queenie a hug. Unfortunately, it appears the leader didn't drop the "Ice cream staff" when he retreated. You recompose yourself, and stagger over to the cultist to interrogate her, who seems to shit her pants (metaphorically) on sight. It looks like she cast some weird sigil on her arm to stop her from bleeding out.

Wat do?
>"You. You said something about me having blood curses, explain, NOW."
>"How many cultists are left in this outpost, tell me, or I'll get your other arm."
>*Kill*
>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4589407
>"You. You said something about me having blood curses, explain, NOW."
>"How many cultists are left in this outpost, tell me, or I'll get your other arm."
>>
>>4589407
>"You. You said something about me having blood curses, explain, NOW."
>"How many cultists are left in this outpost, tell me, or I'll get your other arm."
>"All yours, Queenie"
Alternatively, stick spear in him to examine the effects more closely.
>>
>>4589409
>>4589413
>"You. You said something about me having blood curses, explain, NOW."
>"B-Blood curses? Yeah, Yeah, it basically just means you uh. Have curses..."
>"They aren't really curses tough, most of them are helpful. I saw at least one on you, and it was probably whatever caused you to go... Well, you can probably tell."
>"There might be another one, but it also might just be a disease, the spell doesn't work properly on here- people sometimes"
>"How many cultists are left in this outpost, tell me, or I'll get your other arm."
>"You-you wiped almost all of us out already! DON'T CUT OFF MY ARM!"
>"Uh, yeah, pretty much like your friend said, there's just our chapter leader left, and maybe Zalgin, but he was, heavily injured by you and he's probably either bled out by now, or he's abandoned ship."
>"C-could you please let me free? I swear on my soul that I won't ever join another chapter, and I'll go as far away as possible."
She does a horrible attempt at puppy dog eyes.

Wat do?
>"Alright, however, as "insurance"" (Spear her other arm)
>"Mmmmm, how about NO" (Spear her head)
>"Queenie? Feeding time!"
>"Ugh, just get out of my sight" (Let her go)

>Write in


>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4590228
>"Queenie? Feeding time!"
>>"Mmmmm, how about NO" (Spear her head)
>>>"Ugh, just get out of my sight" (Let her go)

Or, did the convoy still need more crazy people in it?
>>
>>4590232
I'm sorry, which one are you voting for? I genuinely can't tell.
>>
>>4590228
>you are going with us.

she can teach us about magic and explain how undead are created!!
>>
>>4590247
Sorry, thought to kind of put them in order of preference.
>"Queenie? Feeding time!"
>>
>>4590263
dude, think about it!! our own necromancer!!!
>>
>>4590270
I'm not looking to start an undead army. What use do we have for her?

>>4590228
Wait she saw one blood curse on us, is she talking about the one cultist cast or...?
>We had one from the spear or had one even longer?
>>
>>4590282
a necromancer is still a mage! we can get magic mate!
she can teach us about magical hotspots and how are artifacts are created like the bone dagger.
or if the clown is magical or some sh*t. everyone has its uses and at worse, she can be back up food for queenie!
>>
>>4590282
I'Il let you discuss what to do with her more, since I don't want to roll dice for something like this since both of you are arguing.

>"What? No! Why would I cast something that makes you kill me? I don't know how to do blood curses! I didn't do it!"
After a while, she calms down.
>"I can't really tell how old any of them are, but if you never experienced whatever you just did, the one that just went off couldn't have been more than a week old."
>"It was real strong too."
>"The spear? No idea what it does, I'd throw it away if I were you. Keeping magical objects you don't know about is a good way to end up like the country of abluginstan"

Wat do?
>"Abluginstan isn't a country"
>"Wait a minute, why are you so casual about having all your buddies killed?"
>"Is there any way you could tell me more about the blood curse?"

>Write in
>>
>>4590292
And we don't have time for everything. During next zombie attack she can fuck us over. You want her? Fine I'm not about to argue about this further. Suppose we learn something from her, we stab her and stick her in a ditch? She'd have to be constantly watched too.
>For the record, I think this is a bad idea. But I have been proven wrong before.

>>4590340
Get in and finish clearing the cabin and there was talk about basement.
>>
>>4590390
Uh alright, I'm just gonna say you leave her tied up and get into the cabin, you can finalize her fate later.

As you get in, it seems that the cabin was a nice place. Was being the key word. The stairs to the second floor have collapsed, the entire room stinks of rotting flesh, and there are bits and pieces of zombies everywhere, and the chandelier just has one zombie stretched to fit on it. The only thing that sticks out is a small glint of metal under a nearby couch. Queenie leaps past you and skitters upstairs, and you hear the sound of her ripping through a bed and some closets. Tyler stays behind to keep a eye on the cultist, shilling his channel which doesn't exist because the internet is gone.
>"And I do streams every thursday 3PM PST"
>"Your channel is dead you ignorant furry!"
>"I'll have you know I only stopped uploading because I pleaded guilty and got a 7 month sentence since my lawyer was an incompetent boob!"

Wat do?
>Drag the couch over
>Stab at the glint with your spear
>"ALRIGHT YOU SHITSUCKERS! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND I'LL CONSIDER LETTING YOU LIVE!"

>write in
>>
>>4590403
>Drag the couch over
Trapdoor to basement? Or just trap.
>>
>>4590403
>>"Alright you there under the couch get out or I will set it on fire!" if no one responds Drag the couch.
>>4590390
I don't think I was arguing more like debating the pros and cons of having a magic-user. the first sign of betrayal she gets shot or speard.
We can dice it if you want I have no problem with it and I think It will be better that way. a D6 with pair for me and impair for you.
>>
>>4590415
>Argument
Ok maybe I used a wrong translation. Argue, debate, discuss.
>>
>>4590403
>Drag the couch over
>"ALRIGHT YOU SHITSUCKERS! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND I'LL CONSIDER LETTING YOU LIVE!"

>>4590420
Isn't that the same thing, just differing presentation?
>>
>>4590609
Definitely not. they may sound the same and have close meaning but each one has a different connotation.
Arguing give the image of a confrontation and enmity.
Debating gives the image of a civil discussion while trying to convince.
Discussing give the image of two persons speaking about a topic in a casual or professional setting.

or maybe it's just me who thinks this?
>>
>>4590414
>>4590415
>>4590609
2-1 on shouting first.

>"ALRIGHT YOU SHITSUCKERS! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND I'LL CONSIDER LETTING YOU LIVE!"
No response from the couch, but suddenly, a closet bursts open, and out comes a man armed with a blackened axe with a purple handle, he tenses his grip, yells, and... runs out the front door. He dropped his axe too. Deciding to handle that later, you drag the couch over, revealing a metal trap door with some weird patterns on it smeared in blood. You try to lift the trap door, but it appears that it's locked. Queenie emerges from the top with a garbage bag, and throws it down.

Wat do? (Roll 1d100)
>"Hey tyler! I need some help taking care of the lock!"
>"Oi, Cultist bitch, get over here and help me open this trapdoor!"
>Try to pry it open with your spear
>Check what's in the bag

>Write in.
>>
>>4591483
>Check what's in the bag
>"Oi, Cultist, get over here and help me open this trapdoor!"
>>
>>4591483
>Check what's in the bag
>"Oi, Cultist bitch, get over here and help me open this trapdoor!"
>>
>>4591498
>>4591633
The bag is full of random pieces of junk and occult shit like scraps of what looks like skin, random shiny artifacts, and a whole bunch of other junk. However, you can see there's quite a bit of food in there, as well as some weapons, including a hunting rifle and a baseball bat. It'd take a long time for you to look through it thoroughly though, and its getting pretty late. It was around 7 PM when you left, and it's getting pretty dark right now. (The season is summer.) Deciding to leave the matter to the professionals, you yell at the cultist to come over. She grumbles at having to hop around with her hands and legs tied, and tyler eventually decides picking her up is faster. It looks like her arm is getting stabilized by the magic and no longer needs all that power pumping into it as you see the size of the rune decrease. You explain to her that you want that trapdoor open.
>"Oh, that's quite simple, but you'll have to untie me first to let me get rid of the seal."
>"And no, I can't "give you instructions" it would take far too long, and a sim- I mean, you would likely make a mistake."

Wat do?
>"How long is too long?"
>"What happens if I make a mistake?"
>Try to just bash it with (Write in)

>Write in


>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4592841
>prepare the spear and call queenie, untie her and see that she unlock the trapdoor
>>
>>4592852
You grab you spear and ready it, and Queenie comes back down the stairs, apparently done looting. You get Tyler to untie the cultist, and they begin to chant slowly, placing their hands over the trapdoor. After 5 minutes, a pungent smell permeates the air, and as you watch, the blood quickly dries, turn brown, black, into dust.
>"There, I opened the door. Now...."
>"DELOI!"
She makes a quick gesture and a cloud of dust suddenly emerges from her hands, blinding you all! You stab with your spear, and you hear Queenie crash into something. As the smoke clears, you realize the cultist is long gone by now, and she left a note.
>"Don't bother hunting me down, I know several spells that would hide my presence and mask my scent. You will be glad to know that I am not suicidal enough to attempt to capture you again, and I am leaving the cult. Do not pursue me."
Well fuck.

Wat do?
>Bother hunting her down
>Open the trapdoor
>Look in the bag for (Write in)

>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4592891
>Open the trapdoor
>>
>>4592891
>Just offer to let her join with us talking outloud, then open the trap door
Strength in numbers plus we need to rescue people for our group, no harm in trying right?
>>
>>4592891
At least she kept her word about the door.
>Have Tyler open the trapdoor while we ready the spear.
Make him touch it first
>>
>>4592903
>>4593435
>>4593716
You talk out loud about letting her join, but there doesn't seem to be a response. Tyler looks around, shrugs, and punches wildly into the corners of the room for a bit, trying to catch her hiding nearby. You have to explain to him it's not an elaborate ploy to lure her out and bash her skull.
>"I don't know about having a cultist on the Caravan dude, maybe if they left the Cult by themselves, but she was only listening to us because you y'know"
He makes a tearing motion, and mimes drinking the ensuing bloodspray.
>"Don't worry, you didn't actually drink anything, so you probably won't have to get yourself tested for the STDs they get from the cult orgies they maybe have."
>"Probably. Magic STDs might be a thing, then we might need to flush your chakras."
You look at him funny, and get back to business. Tyler flips the hatch, and a resounding crash is heard as you realize it wasn't really a trapdoor, more of a metal slab and Tyler just hurled it across the room with his dramatic flip. Nothing emerges from the trapdoor.

Wat do?
>Send Queenie to scout
>Descend
>"LISTEN UP RATFACE, WE WANT YOUR LOOT, COUGH UP, OR DIE!"

>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4594149
Is it dark? Is it quiet? Does it look like made for Xenos?
>Send Queenie to scout, then descend after her
>Leave tyler up
Can she count? Sure she can.
>>
>>4594149
>>4594890
>ditto
Queenie does have darkvision I think?
>>
>>4594890
>>4594894
Queenie never seems to have any problems hunting at any time of the day, one time she even snuck out at midnight to grab some extra rabbit meat. As such, you ask her to please scout the place first, she appears confused, and points to the window. After trying a few more times, you give up and just point to the hole. She nods, and skitters down the hole.
>"Jesus! I didn't know you could talk that!"
>"So, is your weird hissy-language just for her, or does it work on birds too?"
After a minute or two, you hear a loud CLANK. It's a ladder, and it's poking out of the hole. After poking your head in, you realize there was absolutely nothing there one might use to descend. Just smooth concrete.

Wat do?
>"Queenie? You alright?"
>DESCEND
>Ask tyler for ideas
>Tell tyler about your relationship (Write in wat you say)
>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear

As a reminder, everyone but Hector knows Queenie as your giant scary monster dog (Horsie in Zoey's case) and not your waifu. Any clicking sounds you made in front of them just sounded like that thing where people do birdcalls to calm their parakeets. It's possible not all of them will take it well.
>>
>>4595446
>"Haven't tried"
So queenie placed a ladder?
>"Queenie? You alright?"
>DESCEND
>>
>>4595446
>>4596019
>ditto.
I think she did.
>>
>>4595446
>"Queenie? You alright?"
>DESCEND
>>
>>4596019
>>4596056
>>4596175
>"Haven't tried"
>"Really? We should totally try it on dogs or something. No wait, horses so we don't need gas, no wait, TIGERS! YEEEAAAAAH!"

You call down, and you hear a subdued clicking, and you think you can make Queenie out at the bottom. You slowly go down the rungs, and as you descend, you hear the sounds of zombies groaning endlessly, but curiously Queenie doesn't seem too worried. Tyler ruffles around his bag and pulls out some head mounted flashlights for you and him when it gets too dark. As you reach the bottom, you realize why. The walls have zombies integrated into them, like moldy raisins in a concrete cookie. They reach out and grasp, but the room's large enough to keep away from them. Far away, you see a distant light, and a figure sitting on a chair under it. They are looking straight at you.

Wat do?
>"SURRENDER OR DIE"
>Rush him!
>Approach cautiously

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4596370
>Approach cautiously
>>
>>4596370
>Approach cautiously
Other exits in this place? Is this to keep someone out, or someone in?
>>
>>4596370
>1 bullet

Just pointing it out.
>>
>>4596383
>>4596421
>>4596657
You slowly creep towards the figure, and at around 50 feet away, it suddenly shifts... and faceplants into the ground. What? You chuck your single bullet at it and there isn't a response at a when it bounces of whatever it is. You eventually get close enough to get a good look at the thing, and Tyler flips it over. GAH! Jesus! The... Body's face is covered in horrible wounds, markings, and other deformities etched into the skin. They all appear to be really new too. In their hand lies the "Ice cream" staff. It doesn't really look like ice cream unless you want to see it as ice cream as it's just a staff ending in three colored orbs. You also think you see a bit of parchment stuffed in his disgusting, bleeding mouth. There's also a bookshelf and a small chest behind the chair, and you can't tell where the light is coming from, it's just... there, but you notice it's significantly darker than before, and it seems to be dimming over time. Tyler begins rifling through the small chest, and begins tossing shit to the side, mostly cult robes, symbols, weird candles, and other shit, occasionally stuffing something in his bag. Queenie begins nibbling at the corpse's feet.


Civilized debuff activates! Anon will need to make level 1 difficulty check on morale later.

Wat do?
>Grab the parchment (Roll 1d100-10)
>See if the books are any good.
>Grab the staff.
>Ask Tyler what he's taking
>"Queenie, uh, maybe don't eat that?"
>Just leave
>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
>>
>>4597333
>Grab the parchment (Roll 1d100-10)
>See if the books are any good.
>>
Rolled 81 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4597335
>>
>>4597335
This, and if we don't have any other light, maybe light a candle?
>Inb4 shadows are worse than darkness
>>
>>4597341
Don't worry, I'm not going to pull that weird FMA pride power bullshit, darkness is much, much worse than shadows.
>>
Rolled 51 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4597333
>Grab the parchment (Roll 1d100-10)
>>
>>4597335
>>4597464
56 average, it was supposed to be minus 10.

Before grabbing the disgusting parchment, you decide to look through the books first. Most of them are incomprehensible, some are randomly destroyed, written in languages you don't know, and a well-worn, extremely worn notebook detailed "Magos supremacy", with writing too small to make out in the dimming light. You finally decide to stop messing around, and grab the parchment. As you do, a wave of disgust flows through you as you brush hands with the cold clammy teeth of the corpse, and you swear it tried to bite down on you. You spend several minutes trying to not hurl as Queenie hugs you and strokes your head. After a couple of minutes, the queasiness subsides, and you finally unfurl the parchment and what you read next is concerning, to say the least.

"OUTPOST FALLEN FOUND THE BEAST AND ANOTHER AND A BEAST ALL RUN RED ALL ARE DEAD NO SECOND CHANCES PANTHER IS HERE LIFE FOR THE SENDING THE PUNISHMENT WILL BEGIN WHEN THE HIGHFIRE TURNS DEAD"

There's also a bunch of rune looking things at the bottom. You stuff the disturbing note inside your inventory and decide you've had enough of this place for now, and pop up the ladder for a breath of fresh air. As you glance around, you realize it's pretty close to nightfall now, and you might be wanting to head back. Tyler already looted everything he needed from the downstairs chest too, and he even grabbed the staff.
>"Well, I still need a bit of food, but I picked up this staff and some trinkets, I can probably pawn them to somebody."


Wat do? Roll a 1d20 please.
>grab the garbage bag and go
>loot some corpses
>"Uhh, Tyler, I probably should have told you this, but I need that staff."
>go back downstairs to grab some more stuff
>write in


>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
Cult notebook
Weird parchment
>>
>>4597531
>"Uhh, Tyler, I probably should have told you this, but I need that staff."
>grab the garbage bag and go
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>4597543
>>
Rolled 18 + 0 (1d20 + 0)

>>4597336
>>4597464
>>4597531
It's a common problem. You reverse the math signs to get what you want, + is - and the reverse is true. 4chan really needs to get its shit together on the basics of the dice algorithm.

>Grab junk and go
>>
>>4598092
>"Uhh, Tyler, I probably should have told you this, but I need that staff."
We should go, I don't think it's smart to stay around once the night falls
>THE PUNISHMENT WILL BEGIN WHEN THE HIGHFIRE TURNS DEAD
Hop on Queenie and let's ride.
>>
>>4597735
>>4597544
>>4597735
>>4598092
average of 12

I'm not blaming you guys, I'm just honestly surprised 4chan even has that function.

>"Wait what? It's just the staff, right? Not the other shit?"
>"Fine, but I'm going to have to take some extra food then."
You decide to leave negotiations for later and haul the garbage bag. You and Tyler keeping having to switch who carries it since it's so ridiculously heavy, and strapping a heavy metal rod to your back isn't an easier. Eventually Queenie walks over, does a rolling motion with her head, gives you a noogie, and carries it on her back. As you creep through the forest again, it reaches sunset as you reach the halfway point, and it's around 6:30-ish as you finally arrive back at the camp. Unfortunately, you hear a very familiar voice yelling at top volume.
>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THEY AREN'T IN THE CAR"!?! DID THEY FUCKING STEAL MY SHIT AND ABANDON THE CARAVAN!?!"
>"Well, uh, anon don't seem like the type to stea-"
>"HE HAS A GIANT BUG PET WIFE THING, I DOUBT ANYONE COULD TELL WHAT HE'S THINKING"
>"Wait, did you say wi-"
>"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
holy fugg, Hector sounds pissed.

Wat do?
>Head over now, waiting will just make things worse
>Rifle through the trash bag to see loot (Opens up negotiation event with Tyler)
>Report to bathrobe dude.
>Write in

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
Cult notebook
Weird parchment
>>
>>4598121
>Rifle through the trash bag to see loot (Opens up negotiation event with Tyler)
>>
>>4598121
>Head over now, waiting will just make things worse
can look at the things later, we can't let some rando talk shit about wifey.
>>
>>4598121
>Head over now, waiting will just make things worse.
>To Tyler "We forgot to tell others about our outing, didn't we? Fuck."
>>
>>4598121
>Head over now, waiting will just make things worse

You insult our honor, and slander our good name! If this is what your like every time we try and scavenge, we just might leave! Honestly, where's the trust, Hector?
>>
>>4598121
>Head over now, waiting will just make things worse
Oh boy, here we go
>>
>>4598429
>>4598458
>>4598496
>>4598846
>>4598909
As you approach, Hector is yelling at Leon, while Leon just looks tired.
>"Look, all I'm saying is- "
>"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CENTRAL'S SHIT GETS STOLEN?"
>"You've asked me this like 10 times already, and every time you sa-"
>"WE GET FUCKED!"
>"AND THIS WAS THE REAL EXPENSIVE SHIT, LIKE, like, like, you y-y'know how in that show, with the fat guy, and the robots, and how they fucked up the giant ring computer?"
>"IT'S LIKE THAT!!!"
As he turns around, his face contorts into a expression of anger and relief, and he walks up and begins yelling as he takes a swig from a striped bottle
>"OH LOOK WHO SHOWED UP!"
>"IT'S THE FUCKIN', uh, uh... shit, I can't think up of an insult"
>"gimmie a second..."
He begins swigging the bottle, and it goes on for an uncomfortably long period of time.

Wat do?
>"Wait, what? I thought that was Tyler's stuff!"
>"I didn't take anything! I don't even know what you're talking about!"
>"Are you drunk?"
>Write in.

>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
Cult notebook
Weird parchment
>>
>>4599222
>"Are you drunk?"
>We didn't steal jack shit homie, so stop your ranting and insults.
>>
>>4599222
>>4599249
>ya ditto!!!
I am pretty sure the only shit that I have is mine.
>>
>>4599249
>>4599677

>"Are you drunk? We didn't take jack shit by the way, so calm down."
>"OF COURSE I'M DRUNK!"
>"L-let me put it this way. You stole the cure to cancer, and shot the family dog the guy the guy who did the research thing, and the other dogs too. And I owned them."
He takes another long swig, and you're pretty sure it's supposed to be empty at this point.
>"Well, *urp* at least you didn't actually abandon the-the -the carvan"
>"Just hand me back the backup transport radio and the sticky flares."
Tyler suddenly speaks up.
>"Wait, I thought we were supposed to take some when scavenging so we could stay in touch?"
>"WHY YOU LITTLE-"
>"Anon, you uh, can leave if you want to."
>"Listen here you tiger cosplaying shitlord, do you have any idea what happens when stuff that valuable gets lost and command finds out?"
>"Uh, w-"
>"WE GET FUCKED!"
Hector begins ranting again, but this seems to be more out of exasperation than anger at this point.

Wat do? Roll a 1d20, it'll only apply to some options.
>Go and search through the garbage bag
>Go report to the old man
>"Look, Hector, you're really drunk, we can yell at each other in the morning"
>Write in


>Inventory
1 bullet
Bat (Damaged)
Snake Spear
Cult notebook
Weird parchment
Ice cream staff
>>
Im probably making a new thread tomorrow since we're on page 8 now, unless thats too early?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>4600587
>Go and search through the garbage bag
see what we got in another location to not be disturbed by Hector drunkness
>Go report to the old man
after organizing the bad and the good from the bag.
....
do a new thread if you feel we need to.
>>
>>4600587
>Go and search through the garbage bag
>Go report to the old man
>>
>>4600609
>>4601081
Alright, NEW THREAD WILL BE UP WITHIN AN HOUR, RESPOND TO THAT POST NOT THIS ONE

You leave Tyler to his fate, and you hear Hector repeat the "We get fucked" speech around 6 times before he finally moves on. Tyler makes a mock "save me gesture" as you move away. You find a decent haul within the bag, most of it appears to be junk you don't really need, like books that litteraly have every single one of their pages torn out, incredibly rusty scrap metal, and things that absolutely no one could find valuable, not even the crackiest of pots. but you did find 2 medkits, 15 food, and a hunting rifle. Well, you can't use the rife, but you're pretty sure someone ese could or you could go ask for/buy some ammo if you needed to. After that, you head over to the old man. He smiles as you approach, and he takes the staff from you, shaking it around.
>"Good, good, this one is real. I wasn't doubting your.... Honesty, it's just that the bastard may have made replicas."
>"Now! Onto business."



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