New board: /vrpg/ - Video Games/RPG
You are a bridge troll. You live under a bridge and collect tolls. What do you do with those tolls? You haven't decided yet, but that hasn't stopped you from collecting tolls. Recently you were kicked out from under your old bridge by a group of heavily armed humans. It was a grand bridge made of stone that was overtop a grand river and you had collected many tolls there. Now you're under a shitty wooden bridge that's overtop a shitty creek, sleeping the pain away. You're awoken by the sound of wagon wheels nearing your bridge. It's troll toll time.What do?>Go back to sleep>Take a peek at the wagon people>Reveal yourself and demand the troll toll
>>4383117>Reveal yourself and demand the troll toll
>>4383117>>Reveal yourself and demand the troll toll
>>4383117>Reveal yourself and demand the troll tollOur bridge. Someone's got to look after it, and turn it from a shitty wooden bridge to a good solid stone one, else we'll never get any sleep.
>>4383124>>4383125>>4383162A toll! This is a perfect chance to get back to your old self. Maybe it could even be something you could use to upgrade your bridge. You shake the creek water off your body, make sure your teeth and horns are nice and pointy, and reveal yourself...To a grubby looking farmer sitting on top of a half dead mule, dragging a foul smelling wagon. You feel the excitement you had over the toll die down, you guess a shitty bridge is going to have shitty people using it."To cross this bridge you must pay the troll toll! Give me all your gold human!"The farmer stares at you in shock and fear and he stammers out, "M-Mr. T-Troll I have no gold, I am but a humble manure farmer, my livelihood depends on getting this shit across the bridge to town.""If you cannot pay in gold you must pay in other ways human," you growl menacingly. It feels good to have a human paying you reverence again even if all he seems to have to give you is literal shit.What do?>Take the cow shit, a toll is a toll>Give him a riddle, trolls give riddles right?>Eat him>Let him go, all he has is shit and he probably tastes like shit>Write in
>>4383202Demand he bring you a meal next time and set him on his way. Can't build a nice bridge with a pile of manure.
>>4383252Ask for meal and some building supplies. Then give him a riddle.
>>4383252True enough, we'll get supplies as the toll from the next fellow, assuming it's not some shit peddling peasant.
>>4383252>>4383255>>4383257>>4383265You rack your troll brain for a way to get a proper toll and come up with a genius solution. He can exchange the shit for money and then buy a meal using the shit money.You put on a terrifying face emphasizing your long troll teeth and haughtily state, "after selling your shit in town you must buy me a meal and return. I prefer a cow or a plump woman. The only reason I am letting you bring me a meal instead of eating you is because you caught me on a good day. You must bring me my meal within 3 days or you will never cross this bridge again and I will curse you and your shit farm.""Y-yes s-sir troll I will bring you your meal as soon as I finish my business in town," the shit farmer says fearfully.Satisfied you let the farmer pass the bridge, only momentarily thinking about eating him after he spills some shit on your bridge. As the farmer is leaving you shout him a riddle."What is tall, strong, and will eat you if don't pay a toll? Answer me once you get back."All the talk of meals has made you hungry. You would usually catch some fish or wait for a traveler to pas by the bridge. However, your new bridge's creek doesn't have any fish and it doesn't seem to have as many travelers as the old bridge.What do?>Go back to sleep the farmer will bring you a meal. You just have to wait a bit.>Leave your bridge and hunt for an animal>Eat dirt. It might be tasty you've never tried it before.>Write in
>>4383305Forgot to put name
>>4383305>>Go back to sleep the farmer will bring you a meal. You just have to wait a bit.
>>4383305>>Eat dirt. It might be tasty you've never tried it before.
>>4383305>Go back to sleep the farmer will bring you a meal. You just have to wait a bit.If he doesn't we can always go hunt him down
>>4383309>>4383311>>4383322Someone roll a 1d100 to see if anyone passes by the bridge.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4383350
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4383350
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4383350Duke of york
>>4383352>>4383353>>4383368You decide to go to sleep to stave off the hunger. The farmer will be back with food soon enough and maybe a traveler will try to cross the bridge and you can eat them. You close your eyes and think of better days. Like when you took that one merchants wife as a toll, she was probably the plumpest woman you ever seen and also the tastiest meal you've ever had. You hope that the pleasant thoughts will lead you to a peaceful sleep.You see three men, heavily armed, approaching your bridge. They look like people who can handle themselves in a fight. You briefly consider not tolling them, but you shake your head at that thought. You're a bridge troll, how could you let someone pass WITHOUT paying the toll. You jump out of the river in front of them and demand a toll, then it all goes wrong. You're suddenly peppered with arrows, archers that are in the distance have surrounded you from all sides. You have no choice but to run, you can't take on that many humans. You leave behind your vast toll hoard and your beautiful, beautiful bridge. AAARRRRRGH. You wake up with a mighty bellow, all that greets your good morning cry is the shitty wooden bridge about your head. You sigh, it happened a week ago, but you relive the moment when you lost the bridge every night in your dreams. A loud grumbling from your belly distracts you from your thoughts. You hoped the farmer would be back by now or traveler would use the bridge, but neither happened. You said you would give the shit merchant 3 days, but who knows if you can trust him and 3 days might've already passed while you were sleeping. You've slept for longer amounts of time before. Maybe you should seek him out. It's not like you have a toll hoard to guard like before.What do?>Find the shit farmer, he promised a toll and you're going to get it.>Wait for someone to come by the bridge. Someone has to eventually, right?>Eat dirt. You decided not to last time, but it's looking better and better as you get hungrier>Write in
>>4383437>Find the shit farmer, he promised a toll and you're going to get it.
>>4383437>Wait for someone to come by the bridge. Someone has to eventually, right?
>>4383437>>Wait for someone to come by the bridge. Someone has to eventually, right?
>>4383437>Eat dirt. You decided not to last time, but it's looking better and better as you get hungrierIdk we never tried
Next person that votes and breaks the tie decides it.
I need someone to roll a 1d100 to see who tries to cross the bridge.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4383738
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4383738
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4383738
>>4383450>>4383467>>4383508>>4383536>>4383628>>4383641>>4383650>>4383733>>4383740You decide to do what bridge trolls do best. Wait for someone to try to cross their bridge. You almost decided to seek out the shit peddler, but you're bridge troll, what would you be without your bridge? Even if you're hungry you can't just leave your bridge like that.You stretch your long troll body and prepare yourself for a long wait. Turns out you don't have to wait long for someone to come your way. In under an hour someone has come to your humble bridge. You can hear high pitched laughing just above your head.>Troll Toll time.>Take a look at who it is first.>Spook him. Suddenly reveal yourself and give a mighty troll bellow.>Write in(For rolls I'll probably start doing Bo3 after this)
>>4383763>Take a look at who it is first
>>4383763>Troll Toll time.
>>4383763>>Troll Toll time.
>>4383765>>4383767>>4383771>>4383776It's troll toll time. You jump out of the creek and block the entrance to your bridge. "Those who wish to cross my bridge must pay a toll. I'm feeling hungry so today's toll must be something I can eat," you state proudly.Caught up in the excitement of a new toll you only notice after demanding a toll that you don't see near your bridge. You swing your head all around looking for the person who will pay the toll until you finally look down and see 'em.It's a fucking Gnome! You can already tell this is going to be a giant pain in the toll. The Gnome swaggers up to you and squeaks out, "I'm not paying no fucking toll to a shitty Troglodyte. My name is Furflooficus Twinkle-Fuck and I am the greatest Gnome magician that the world has ever seen! I will never pay a toll to a common troll like you! Fuck off before I curse you with my Gnome magic."Fucking Gnomes.What do?>He can't cast his Gnome magic in your belly. Eat him>Demand he pay the toll or he won't cross>Let him go, Gnome magic is scary>Threaten that you'll curse him with your troll magic (that you don't have.)>Write in
>>4383811>Threaten that you'll curse him with your troll magic (that you don't have.)
>>4383811*You don't see anyone near you bridge
>>4383811>>He can't cast his Gnome magic in your belly. Eat him
>>4383811>>He can't cast his Gnome magic in your belly. Eat himThen steal his gold
>>4383814>>4383821>>4383824You're hungry and this Gnome doesn't seem like he's going to pay a toll. You decide that he's going to be the toll then. While he's blabbering about how he'll make your horns fall off and how he'll turn your entire toll collection turn into mud you pick him up and swallow him in one gulp. You reason that whatever gold and magic Gnome items he had you can just shit out later and add to your toll hoard.Satisfied by you meal you decide that a nice nap is in order. You hop back under your bridge, lay down, and close your eyes and have a nice nap...Or that's what would've happened if you didn't hear screaming as soon as you closed you eyes."LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING TROGLODYTE, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO TEAR A HOLE IN YOUR GUTS. CURSE YOU AND YOUR SHITTY FUCKING BRIDGE! AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO GNOME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. NO ONE CROSSES FORFLOOFICUS TWINKLE-FUCK AND LIVES!"Looks like the Gnome used his magic to stay alive in your belly somehow.What do?>Throw him up>Eat dirt, bury him alive.>Jump around, give him a good shake.>Wait him out he can't stay alive forever in your belly, right?>Write in
>>4383875>Eat dirt, bury him alive.
what's up with op constantly trying to coax us into eating dirt?
>>4383905>>4383906>>4383908>>4383911You come up with what might be the greatest idea ever conceived by a troll. Eat dirt. If you eat dirt the dirt will fall on the Gnome in your stomach and suffocate him. The other trolls always made fun of you for being dumb and hiding under logs and archways for no reason when you were young, but you bet they couldn't have come up with this idea. You promptly start shoveling dirt into your mouth, it tastes like shit, which is not exactly a surprise, but you hoped that maybe it would be tasty. You are enjoying the screams of Twinkle-Fuck as he's being buried alive, though. After a solid 2 minutes of eating dirt his screams stop. Uh oh, your stomach is not feeling well. Turns out eating dirt is not good for it, who knew.You throw up all the dirt and the Gnome with it. Looks like you succeeded in killing it, you inspect the corpse and find a wand and a few pieces of gold. They are the first things that are going to be added to your toll hoard. You promptly store them under your bridge and then re-eat the Gnome. No use in wasting a meal. With the Gnome saga ended you now have to decide what to do for the rest of the day.What do?>Flick the wand around, it probably has Gnome magic on it and you want to see what it does.>Go to sleep. You've had a meal and now you're pretty tired.>Pick up stones in the creek. You're not sure how to make the stones into a bridge, but maybe you can figure it out. Might as well start collecting.>Write in.Toll hoard status: 3 gold coins and (magic?) wand
>>4383953I keep forgetting the image.
>>4383953>Flick the wand around, it probably has Gnome magic on it and you want to see what it does.
>>4383953>>Go to sleep. You've had a meal and now you're pretty tired.
>>4383953>>Flick the wand around, it probably has Gnome magic on it and you want to see what it does.
I need 3 1d100's to see what the wand does (Bo3)
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4384004
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4384004
>>4384036nice roll nerdtry putting dice+1d100 in the options field next time
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4384004
>>4383959>>4383964>>4383966>>4383967>>4384064>>4384080You start flicking the wand around hoping it will do something. You flick at the trees, at the rocks, at the creek, it doesn't do anything. You sigh and mumble, "fucking Gnomes." Suddenly the wand shoots out a burst of light and sets a nearby tree on fire. After slapping the fire away with your troll hands you experiment more with the wand. It seems to only fire when you're holding it and say Gnome. The wand's beam seems to be made to set things on fire. You take note of the possibilities you could use it for. You could set tree on fire, or maybe even set ground on fire. Overall a very nice addition to your toll hoard.Satisfied you decide to go to sleep for the day, you hope by the time you wake up the shit peddler will have your food ready for you. His deadline is tomorrow if you have the time correct. Hopefully he doesn't get any of his smell on it. You lay your head down under the bridge and drift off to dreamland.It's the same dream you've every night since you had to abandon your bridge, you're peppered with arrows and forced to flee your beautiful stone bridge. Except now there's a very angry Gnome yelling obscenities and mooning you in it. You don't know if it's because of his Gnome magic or because you have Gnomes on the mind, but Twinkle-Fuck is now haunting your dreams.You wake up in a very bad mood, your nightmares were bad enough and now you have to do deal with Twinkle-Fuck in them. However, you cheer up when you smell the very familiar smell of shit near the bridge. The shit merchant is here and he's come to give you your meal.You quickly hop out from under your bridge and greet the farmer."You have come back farmer, you better have my meal ready for me."After greeting him you take a quick look at his wagon, it's filled with farming tools and what look to be seed bags. Is he moving away from farming cow shit all day? You do not, however, see any meals on the wagon.The farmer, who looks less terrified than he did when he last saw you, says, "S-sir Troll I have brought you a meal like you asked."He steps aside revealing a skinny looking goat that is supposed to be his toll and your meal."I asked for a plump woman or a cow, shit-stain. Not an anorexic goat."The farmer face turns pale and he hurriedly states "After selling my manure and buying the tools and seeds I needed, I barely had money left. All I could afford was this goat. Please Sir Troll it is the best meal I can offer."What do?>Take the goat it's better than nothing.>Eat him, eat the goat, then take the wagon too.>Demand he go back and get you a better meal and that he better not return without one.>Write in
>>4384121>Take the goat it's better than nothing.
>>4384121>Eat him, eat the goat, then take the wagon too.Should’ve brought a girl if you can’t provide food
>>4384121>Take the goat it's better than nothing.Don’t want local officials kicking us out for eating a person yet
>>4384134+1 troll way
>>4384129>>4384134>>4384140>>4384143>>4384176You snatch the goat and tear off it's head and swallow it with a sickening gulp."What are you looking at? Get a move on, I expect a cow next time you see me."The farmer starts moving forward before stopping himself and looking you in the eye. He straightens himself out and starts speaking to you."Sir Troll I have a... proposal for you, I am moving away from manure farming to farming food. I will be planting my seeds today and should be ready to harvest them in two months just before the harvest festival in the nearest town starts. Why I'm telling you this is because I need you to do something for me then. I need you to stop any farmers except from using this bridge to get into town a week before the festival starts. Using the shortage of food in the harvest festival as an excuse I will increase the prices of my food 100-fold and make a fortune. If you can do this for me I can give you whatever toll you want after, I could you give the plumpest woman or the fattest cow you've ever seen. Whatever you want just name it. My name's Jack by the way, you should know it if we're going to be partners in this."What do?>All this plotting is making your troll brain hurt. Eat him for making you feel stupid.>Accept the deal.>Deny the deal. You're here to collect tolls not make deals.>Write in>Write in a name for yourselfToll hoard: 3 gold coins, Fire-making wand
>>4384239>Deny the deal. You're here to collect tolls not make deals.
>>4384239eat him. we have been way too lenient with this guy.
>>4384239>>Accept the deal.
>>4384239>Accept the deal.haven't seen any other farmers recently and we can always force them to pay a toll via their food.
>>4384239>Accept the deal.Except, with our wand we can threaten to burn down his field next harvesting season if he doesn't make good on his promise. We expect a cut so we can have the best damn bridge.So what's our name lads?
>>4384387Bert. Bert's our name
>>4384239>>Accept the deal.>Saul
>>4384239>Accept the deal>Steinbrucke
>>4384239>Accept the deal.We can always change our mind and just eat him later
>>4384406Bert is gud
>>4384239>>All this plotting is making your troll brain hurt. Eat him for making you feel stupid.
>>4384239Accept the deal but ask him which farmers are passing through
>>4384239>Accept the deal.>Troll
>>4384249>>4384256>>4384262>>4384263>>4384271>>4384387>>4384557>>4384582>>4384608>>4384789>>4384901>>4384951>>4384968Your troll brain can't comprehend everything Jack's saying, but you do understand the part about plump woman and fat cows. You don't normally do complicated stuff like this, preferring to do easy things like collecting tolls. You haven't had a plump woman or cow since you got kicked from your old bridge, however. You accept the deal hoping the deal hoping for a good meal for once, or maybe you can ask Jack to give you something else after.Jack explains to you that most of farmers that are going to try to pass the bridge after 3 weeks are small-time farmers like him that won't pose any trouble. There is one wealthy landowner, though, who owns multiple farms that hires guards with his shipments that you may have to watch out for.You grunt in acknowledgement and tell the shit farmer to hurry up and fuck off, he's going to interfere with your tolling if he stays too long. Jack leaves soon after. Now you have the rest of the day to do things.What do?>Go to sleep, the shit farmer made your brain hurt, sleep to make brain hurt go away>Wait for someone to pass by the bridge so you can toll them>Look for shiny stones in the creek to add to your toll hoard>Sing a classic troll song>Write in
>>4385135*hoping for a good meal for once,
>>4385135>Sing a classic troll song
>>4385135>>Sing a classic troll songAnd also try to craft primitive music instrument.
Guys we should destroy all the other bridges around our location so they can only cross OUR bridge.
>>4385215>>4385235>>4385242>>4385289https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDhAEmODyzw"You gotta pay the troll toll, if you wanna get into that boy's hole! You gotta pay the troll toll to get in!""You want the baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in!""Troll toooooooooooll!"You sing a song that was often sung to you when you were a young trog. It tells the story of how the first Troll King stole the Gnome god's newborn son and made him pay a toll to get him back. You skip part of the song where the Gnome god's toll turns into a pile of shit months later because he tricked the Troll King with Gnome magic. That part always made you sad.Fucking Gnomes.What do?>Collect shiny rocks for toll hoard>Go to sleep>Wait for people you can toll>Start a fire using the magic wand>Write in
>>4385310>Collect shiny rocks for toll hoard
>>4385310>>Write inTry to figure out how we could improve the bridge. Better bridge mean more people will come to our bridge....More people mean more toll.... More toll mean more food!
I need a 1d100 to see if you find something that's not a shiny rock.
>>4385288This was good suggestion. go and do this.
>>4385360I don't really buy into the rationale that a sturdy bridge will attract more/better people. A bridge that connects Shitville and Turdtown will not be frequented by rich people, position is everything. If it is the only bridge for 100 miles in both directions though...
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4385384
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4385384
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4385384
>>4385418Otherwise we can do this >>4385288And also making sure that brdige is sturdy enough.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4385384>>Wait for people you can toll
>>4385315>>4385353>>4385359>>4385360>>4385371>>4385387Your toll hoard is still very barren so you decide to collect some shiny rocks to fill it out. You dig a hole and put the very few things you own inside it and bury, who knows if a dirty little gnomelet will come by and steal it while you're gone. You mostly walk along creek looking for shiny rocks that attract you attention. You even find a blue rock! You think it's very cool. By the time it starts turning dark and you head back to your bridge you have collected 5 very shiny rocks! You also found a little clear thingy in the river too. After returning to your bridge you dig up the wand and start flicking it around and yelling Gnome. You find out if you put the little clear thingy in front of the wand instead of lighting a fire, it makes a very blinding light that would've hurt your eyes if you weren't a troll. Satisfied after a very productive day you go to sleep.>Roll 3d100 (Bo3) to see who tries to cross the bridge in the middle of night.Toll hoard: 3 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light.
Rolled 94, 30, 18 = 142 (3d100)>>4385452
>>4385454Whoops meant 3 1d100's I'll just count the first roll this guy made.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4385452
>>4385462All goodAt least we got a 94
Rolled 39, 52, 56 = 147 (3d100)
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4385452
>>4385454>>4385474>>4385505>>4385517You were having your typical nightmare with Twinkle-Fuck and the bridge stealers when you suddenly snap awake at the sounds of hooves gunning towards your bridge. You quickly hop out from under the bridge to block the horseman, you wouldn't want him to cross the bridge without paying the toll. At the sight of you the horseman draws his sword which glows a vibrant blue light and stops."Get out of the way troll! I must save the princess from the dragon sorcerer! Are you one of his evil minions?! I swear on this knight's honor I will smite thee and your evil lord, the princess will be returned to her rightful place and her hand shall be given to me in marriage!"You don't understand half of what he said but it sounds like he doesn't want to pay a toll. You put on your most menacing face and say, "if you want to cross this bridge you have to pay a toll.""You villain! Blinded by greed and avarice you seek to impede this knight on a noble journey of love and adventure! You should thank the gods that I cannot bear to let the princess rot in the vile dragon sorcerers dungeon for one moment longer! Take this mug, troll, no matter how much of it's mead fills your belly it will never empty. It should be a fitting prize for a buffoon such as you. I hope you drown in it's content like how you've drowned in your own greed." He spits at your feet, getting icky human goo on them.What do?>Take the mug as the toll>How plump is this princess your talking about?>It sounds like he insulted you. Eat him!>Give me da sword>Write in
>>4385918>>Take the mug as the toll
>>4385922+1 This plus try some of the mead
>>4385918>Take the mug as the tollTechnically the toll has been paid.
>>4385918>Take the mug as the toll>”I don’t know who you are talking about, but a toll is a toll so thank you for paying it.”
>>4385918>>4385940This no need to not be polite even if the knights an ass
archive this quest trigga
>>4385918Turn the mug upside down. If it runs out, eat him.
>>4385918>Take the mug as the tolldon't drink from it for now. we need to stay sharp for when this guy comes back, princess will be toll then.
>>4386029Either that or she has to pay the toll also, rules are rules, who is he to tarnish a trolls honor as a toller
”I don’t know who you are talking about, but a toll is a toll so thank you for paying it.”You take the mug and inspect it for a few seconds, even turning it over for a moment to see if it is truly endless. To your surprise mead spills out of the mug without stopping, you quickly flip mug back up, not wanting to get your bridge smelling like mead. You probably would have taken the mug even if it didn't have endless mead in it since it was a mice mug, but this is even better. It'll make a fine addition to the toll hoard.You step to the side and tell the knight he can pass since the toll was paid. The knight looks angry and says more big words you don't understand before finally riding off screaming about a princess.You take a look at the mug and it's mead...Should you take a drink?>Yes>No
>>4386522Yes. But not too much...
>>4386522See how it is. If its good we can get the farmer to bring us barrels which we can upend the mug into and make coin to inprove bridge.
>>4386531I really really like this idea, almost as much as eating dirt again (maybe it *is* good)
>>4386522>>4386525>>4386531>>4386540You take a swig of the mead to verify the taste. It tastes good... really good. Another swig can't hurt, you take another and another and another as if something is compelling you to. You want to stop but your body is moving on it's own...............................................................................................................................................................You feel really groggy, there's something warm rustling against your side. You open your eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. This isn't your bridge! It isn't even a bridge at all! You look to your side and to your horror you see a gnome cuddling against you.The Gnome wakes up and rubs it's beady little eyes and yawns before saying, "you've gotten much better in bed every since you took over that trolls body Forfloofy."You don't know how or why but that Gnome Twinke-Fuck somehow gained control of your body. Is that why you couldn't stop drinking the mead last night?! Fucking Gnomes and their Gnome magic, you should've known it wasn't over after he appeared in your dreams. The Gnome(et?) cuddles even closer to you with their disgusting Gnome body and says, "be careful honey you don't want to let the troll take over it's body again, your soul still hasn't taken over completely. The only reason you were able to take over last time was because the troll was drunk."There's a Gnome soul in your body. Most importantly, though. Where's your bridge?! What if someone tries to cross without paying a toll?! Or steals part of your toll hoard?! You have to get out of here and find your bridge first and foremost.What do?>Pretend to be Twinkle-Fuck, try to get information out of the disgusting Gnome(et?)>Eat the Gnome next to you>Cry, scream, pray to the gods for forgiveness. You just fucked a Gnome.>Run out of the house and try to find the bridge>Write in
>>4386602>Eat the Gnome next to youDumbass gnomes
>>4386602>Pretend to be Twinkle-Fuck, try to get information out of the disgusting Gnome(et?)
>>4386602>kill the gnome by ripping ita limbs off then eat it. Fucking gnomes.
>>4386602Kill then eat we dont want 2 gnome souls
>>4386602>>Pretend to be Twinkle-Fuck, try to get information out of the disgusting Gnome(et?)>>Eat the Gnome next to you
>>4386607>>4386618>>4386619>>4386677>>4386687You stand up and tower over the little Gnome and growl it you horns go through the ceiling causing light shine down on both of you. The Gnome looks at you fearfully."H-honey what are you doing? You know you're supposed to duck while inside the house now."You say nothing and grab the Gnome and one by one tear off each of it's limbs, killing it. You then pop the corpse and it's limbs in your mouth for an actually pretty tasty meal. You look around the house for any shinies to add to your toll hoard and find a book with a shiny cover and a pouch of gold coins. You take them with you before exiting the home. Now you have to find someway back to your bridge before anyone tries crossing it. Your pride would never recover if someone crossed it without paying a toll.>Roll 3 1d100 (Bo3) to see if you can find the way to your bridge(Also fun fact if you kept the Gnome woman alive she would've come to you with half-gnome half-troll abominations later in the quest.)
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4386743
>>4386743*growl at it, your horns go through the ceiling causing light toMan I messed up pretty much that entire sentence
>>4386746Umm... ignore this roll
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4386743Good.god we dont want such terrible abominations.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4386743
QM your filenames are on point, gj
>>4386746>>4386751>>4386752>>4386765After exiting the house you find yourself surrounded by a dense amount of trees. Not having any idea of where to go to find the bridge you pick a direction and hope for the best. You run for hours and hours until you feel hopeless about finding your bridge and your hoard again. Until you here the sounds of running water. You find a river that you think might lead to your creek, You follow it south until you finally hit a fork in the river between the main river and a tributary creek. You follow the creek westward until, finally, you see your bridge. You run over and check that your toll hoard is safe, and it is, thank the gods. And it doesn't look like anyone's used it, so no toll-dodgers have used it yet. Everything is perfect except for the fact that you have a Gnome soul inside you.What do?>Bash your head against a rock until the Gnome soul comes out.>Eat dirt, that's how you deal with the Gnome last time.>Go to sleep, he manifests himself in your dreams a lot, maybe that's his soul your seeing.>I'll deal with it later, I have tolls to collect.>Write inToll Hoard: 15 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, shiny book.
>>4386850Wait for shit farmer to come back and ask for advice.
>>4386850>Go to sleep, he manifests himself in your dreams a lot, maybe that's his soul your seeing.Eat him in our dreams
>>4386850>Go to sleep, he manifests himself in your dreams a lot, maybe that's his soul your seeing.
>>4386850>Go to sleep, he manifests himself in your dreams a lot, maybe that's his soul your seeing.Where's our infinite mead mug?
>>4386854>>4386855>>4386904>>4386934>>4386993You decide to go to sleep and you see if you can eat his soul in your dreams. You close your eyes and go to sleep. Instead of the usual nightmare you were expecting you're in a completely white room, and in front of you is the Gnome, but he's a lot bigger. Bigger than you in fact."YOU SHITTY TROGLODYTE. YOU KILLED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND RIP YOUR SOUL INTO PIECES. MY SOUL IS MUCH LARGER AND MORE POWERFUL THAN YOURS YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE FOOL. I'M GOING TO SEND THE REMNANTS OF YOUR SOUL INTO TROLL HELL, WHERE THEY COLLECT THE TOLLS FROM YOU!!!The now giant Gnome starts charging towards you. Looks like you're going to have to fight for your soulWhat do?>Eat him. Bigger Gnome just means more food.>It's your dream, maybe you can manipulate it to kill him>AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH RUN IT'S A GIANT GNOME>Write in(You still have your infinite mead mug, you checked your toll hoard and everything is safe.)
>>4387047>Eat him. Bigger Gnome just means more food.
>>4387047>eat him, he didnt pay the toll to cross the bridge into your consciousness, hes a broke bitch
>>4387047His soul may be more magically powerful, but the spirit of Troll demands we eat him - our god stands behind us, and even if he is big here, we are big everywhere.
>>4387047>>Eat him. Bigger Gnome just means more food.>>It's your dream, maybe you can manipulate it to kill him
>>4387055>>4387058>>4387101>>4387146>>4387154>>4387157You look at the Gnome defiantly and say something that's been a common line for you for years."Where's my toll?"The Gnome looks confused and questions, "what are you talking about you dirt-eating mouth-breather?! Fuck off with the tolls!""WHERE'S MY TOOOOOOOOOLLLlllL?!!!!!!"You charge straight at the Gnome intending to eat him as the toll for entering you consciousness, but he slaps you away with ease."HA! How does it feel to be small troll?! You don't stand a chance, give up already and let me rend your soul!"The Gnome grabs you and starts squeezing, you can feel your imaginary bones crushing under the pressure, it looks like you aren't collecting your toll today... or maybe even again.NO! You are Bert the troll and you refuse ever let anyone not pay a toll ever again! You open your mouth and take a large bite out of the Gnome's hand, he scream and drops you."YOU BIT ME YOU BASTARD! WHY IS YOUR SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING, EATING!You feel invigorated! Eating part of the Gnome must of gave you part of his soul. He even looks slightly smaller now and you feel bigger.You charge at the Gnome and dodge his very large hand and jump onto his ankles. You take some very large bites and he starts fall over. You hold a firm grip on him and keep eating as he's falling. The Gnome struggles and flails trying to get you off, but no matter how many times he slams you into ground or tries to fling you off you hold on firmly to him. You eat and eat and eat and eat, until tower over him."Time to pay your toll, Gnomelet."You pick up the Gnome and the final remnant of his soul and eat it in a satisfying gulp.Twinkle-Fuck is no more.(I'm going to take a nap I'll finish the update and put choices once I wake up.
>>4387213You wake up. You did it you got that dirty Gnome soul out of your body. You feel great and not just that. You seem... bigger, being under the bridge feels more cramped that it did before. Maybe eating that Gnome soul had an effect on your physical body too.Gained trait: Big boy: +5 to combat rolls.It looks like it's morning now, you must've spent all night fighting that Gnome.What do?>Wait for someone to toll.>Celebrate! Drink out of the infinite mead mug.>Open the shiny book you found at the Gnome woman's house.>Write in(Decided I might as well finish this before I go to sleep.)
>>4387251>>Open the shiny book you found at the Gnome woman's house.
>>4387251>Celebrate! Drink out of the infinite mead mug.No point in using the book, we can't fucking read.
>>4387251>>Celebrate! Drink out of the infinite mead mug.
>>4387251>Open the shiny book you found at the Gnome woman's house.
>>4387251>Celebrate! Drink out of the infinite mead mug.
>>>4387251>>>Celebrate! Drink out of the infinite mead mug.
>>4387213>Open the shiny book you found at the Gnome woman's house.
>>4387282+1. maybe it has nice pictures? still kinda worried about that knights return, I think he gave us the mug to get us nice and drunk so he can cash in a quick side quest on the way back.
>>4387251>Wait for someone to toll.
Vote is tied 5-5 between Shiny book and celebrating right now. Next person who votes decides it.
>>4388080just flip a coin
You decide to open the shiny book you got from the Gnome woman's place. You open it and you are greeted by horrifying sights, Gnome's twisting and contorting in a different directions. Groups of Gnome's doing unspeakable thing with eachother. There's even a part where a Gnome turns a female Gnome into a wheelbarrow. You're absolutely disgusted this book is just filled with Gnome mating positions. You were hoping for a book filled with pictures, but not this.You were too absorbed in the book to notice Jack the (former) shit farmer approaching your bridge. "Are you reading, Troll? I didn't know Trolls can read."He tries to peer over your giant shoulder and get a glimpse at the book your reading."Holy shit is that the Gnome A Sutra?! I thought it was a myth! How did you get it? Actually, never mind about that, I'm here on business, we can talk about the Gnome A Sutra later. I'm here to tell you that the farmers that I want you to block from crossing the bridge are going to start coming in three days. I tried to tell you earlier but you were gone for 3 weeks! I have to go tend to my crops now, but you should see me in 10 days when I'm ready to bring my crops into town."You guess that you were under Twinkle-Fuck's control for much longer than you originally thought. What disgusting things did he do with your body. As you watch Jack leave you remember that you have a very cool mug to show him.Before Jack leaves you stop him and show him your infinite mead mug, he starts getting excited talk about business opportunities and profits and other words you don't understand before he tastes it.He spits out the drink as soon as he tastes it."UGH! This tastes like piss, I can't sell this. How can you drink this?!"Jack leaves to go tend to his shit, or crops, whatever he's farming right now, you don't really care.You still have time to do one more thing.What do?>Wait for someone to toll>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridge>Go to sleep, try not to think about the Gnome A Sutra>Write in
>>4388182>Wait for someone to tollIt’s time to start tolling
>>4388182>>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridge
>>4388182>>Wait for someone to toll
>>4388182>>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridgeWe are bridge troll, we should at least learn how to build our own bridge.
>>4388182>Wait for someone to toll
>>4388182throw a (small) rock at him as he leaves. I don't care much for the way he talks to us now, would like to see more groveling.
Votes closed. I need 3 1d100 (Ao3) to see who tries to cross your bridge.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4388263
Rolled 71, 8, 97 = 176 (3d100)>>4388263
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4388263
>>4388184>>4388187>>4388194>>4388228>>4388255>>4388261You decide to wait from someone you can toll to try to cross your bridge, but first you have to a put shit farmer in their place. Jack's been getting too comfortable with you ever since he made that deal with you. You liked it much better when he called you Sir Troll and acted afraid of you.You pick up one of your very cool rocks and throw at him, it hits the back of his head causing him to stumble and almost fall. You can see a little bit of blood dripping down his neck. Jack looks back at you and looks like he wants to say something, but he seems to decide against it and scurries off instead. That should teach him for not showing you respect.You then go back under your bridge and prepare to extract a toll from any travelers who try to cross your bridge.It's almost nightime when you hear the sound of wagon wheels approaching your bridge.You climb out from under the bridge and block the wagon before it can pass. The wagon is strange looking, with strangle scribblings of many different languages all over it's walls. It's driver is even stranger, he wears mismatching clothes that seems to change color every few seconds. And instead of a horse or a mule pulling the wagon, it is a giant lizards who breathes little fire tufts. You make yourself as big as you can and say, "To cross this bridge you must pay a toll."Instead of looking at you with fear or anger the wagon driver looks almost ecstatic to see you. He gives you a big smile and introduces himself."I am Barnibius Flintlock it is nice to meet you, good sir! As for your toll I will gladly pay it. I just need one small favor from you first. You see I am an exotic goods trader, I trade all sorts of curios and strange artifacts to nobles and merchants. Recently I've come in contact with a buyer whose very interested in trolls, if you could give me a bit of your spit, sir, I could make a very good profit off of it. In exchange you can pick one of the finest items out of my wagon for your toll."He approaches you and extends a hand for you to shake.What do?>Give him some of your spit>Eat him>I want da lizard>Write-in
>>4388347>>Write-inTake a good look at his items before making deal with him. And also check with him if he also willing to buy...the Gnome Sutra book
>>4388347A toll's a toll. First must pay toll, then can negotiate deal.
>>4388347>Give him some of your spitthe only place to spit in a rich mans house is his face.
>>4388353Support Get rid of that stupid porno
>>4388347>>Give him some of your spit
>>4388353>>4388363>>4388367>>4388384You decide take a good look at his wares before making a deal. Looking at the wares three items stand out to you. One is a silver miniature statue of a man with a dragon's head, it glows a slight blue light.The next one is a wand with a lightning symbol on it. It reminds you of the fire-making wand you got from Twinkle-fuck.The final one is a blue box with moon designs on it, that if you twist the handle it plays a song, but it plays a different song each time. You could sing you troll songs over it.You also take out your Gnome A Sutra book and show it to Barnibius who says he'd buy it off you for 3 gold coins.>Sell Book>Don't Sell BookYou've inspected his wares and the items that were of interest to you. Do you want to give him your spit?>Yes>No, that's not how tolling worksIf you do decide to give him your spit what item do you take?>Statue>Wand>Music Box
>>4388591>Sell Book>Yes>Music Box
>>4388591>>Sell Book>>Yes>>Music Box>tell him we cannot let him pass without paying a toll anything really will work
>>4388606>>4388614>>4388628>>4388629>>4388672You sell the Gnome sex book to the trader, who is very happy to get such a rare item. Next you spit into a jar for the trader who looks practically giddy to get a jar of troll spit to sell. You already picked out the music box from the trader's wagon as your toll and in exchange for the spit. You spin around the handle and listen to one of it's songs.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54zHlgHbCLsHappy with the toll collected and trades made you let Barnibius pass the bridge. After that you climb under the bridge and let the soothing sounds of the music box lull you to sleep. For once you don't have nightmares, your dreams instead filled with a green haired knight fighting various villains. You wake up well-rested and ready to start the day.What do?>Wait for someone to toll>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridge>Listen to more of the music box, sing trolls songs too>Write inToll hoard: 18 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, music boxTraits: Big boy: +5 to rolls2 days until farmers start to try to cross bridge.
>>4388750>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridgewhere is our mug? i would really like to have the mug back?
My bad I forgot to put mug in there. I should really make a paste binToll Hoard: 18 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, music box, never-ending mead mug
>>4388763could we perhaps tilt the mead mug and make a water lock to make a infinite fire pit?
>>4388750>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridge
>>4388750>>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridgeI also think that maybe we should try eating dirt again. Maybe we just picked bad dirt last time
>>4388750>>Collect rocks, maybe you can turn rocks into bridge>>Listen to more of the music box, sing trolls songs tooWhile working on bridge, we can listen to music box.
>>4388750>>Wait for someone to toll
>>4388889+1. A good construction worker always has a radio running and a song on his lips.
>>4388765What do you mean?>>4388750I'm a little worried about giving the trader our spit. He might use it to magically clone us (or if he doesn't, someone else might) and who knows how that clone will be treated. (But do we, as a troll, care though?)
>>4389104i want a fire going but i dont want the mug to burn
>>4389109You want the fire to be so big that it burns down the bridge?
>>4389157imagine a booze powered forge or like a booze lantern
>>4389180oh, I see. you want to burn the mead.I suppose that would work(yeah I'm dumb I guess)
+1 to >>4388889 and later >>4389180/>>4388765
(Not going to be any updates today, I have a lot college stuff to do. Don't want to leave anyone hanging waiting for an update today.)
>>4389527No problem, anon! But it’ll still cost you a troll toll...
You decide to collect rocks for the day. Your old bridge was made out of rocks and you would like your new one to be made out of rocks too. You don't really know how to turn rocks into bridge, but that doesn't mean you can't collect start collecting them for later.You start walking along your creek picking up any rocks you see, but then you remember the music box and decide you can sing trolls songs while collecting rocks. You pick up the music box twirl the handle and listen to the instrumental it plays. You listen to it for a second and you think it would go perfect with one of your classic troll songs.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N9Db9mPy4w"TOLL!TOLL!This is how I show my loveI made it in my mind becauseI blame it on my Troll brain babyThis is how a Gnome retard criesI blame it on my own sick prideBlame it on my Troll brain babyToll, Toll, Toll, Toll, Toll, Toll, TollUh huh, Troll King (Toll)I look in the mirror and nothing's familiar I tollI look in the mirror and nothing's familiar I tollTOLL!"It's a beautiful song about tolling, you remember that song resonating with you more as a young trog than many other songs. Maybe you were born to toll.You have so much fun singing troll songs and reminiscing about when you were a young trog, that you barely notice it's almost nightime and you need to return home with your rocks. You put the rocks in your toll hoard pile and climb under your bridge and go to sleep.>I need 3 1d100 (Ao3) to see who tries to cross your bridge tonight.Toll Hoard: 18 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, music box, never-ending mead mug, 50 rocksTraits: Big Boy: +5 to combat rolls1 day until farmers start to try to cross bridge.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4391098Tollin'
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4391098
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4391098
>>4391105>>4391109>>4391112You were having a peaceful dream about sailing and tolling passing ships when you're awoken by the sound of rat-like squeaking. You climb out from under the bridge looking for the rat, thinking that it would make a good late-night snack.To your surprise, though, as soon as you climb out from under the bridge you're greeted by a small mouse creature than can talk. You've seen mice before, but not one's that can talk."Greetings, Sir Troll, I am Marty the mouse knight. You scared me appearing so suddenly from under your bridge. I must ask you to step to the side a bit, you're blocking the bridge and I'm on an urgent mission to save the princess from the dragon sorcerer."The mouse creature is talking about that dragon magician or something, you think you remember another person who said they were a knight mentioning them. You guess it doesn't matter as long as the mouse pays a toll."To cross this bridge you have to pay a toll."The mouse looks disappointed for a moment before holding out a tiny nibble of cheese for you to take. "Forgive me Sir Troll this all I have to offer you. You see I was not outfitted with supplies and equipment like other knights sent to save the princess. The king didn't even send me to save her because he said I was too small, but the princess always said it is the heart and bravery that makes the knight, not the size or strength. I left despite the King's order's because I know my heart is larger than any other Knight in existence! All I have is my pin-sword and this cheese. Please take it as your toll despite it meager worth."What do?>Take the cheese, a toll is a toll even if it's tiny.>Eat him. His heart sounds tasty.>Let him pass, he seems like a nice dude.>EEEEEEEEEEK IT'S A RAT KILL IT!>Write in
>>4391180>>Take the cheese, a toll is a toll even if it's tiny.
>>4391180Take his stupid little cape instead.If not then>Take the cheese, a toll is a toll even if it's tiny.
>>4391180>Take the cheese, a toll is a toll even if it's tiny.
>>4391197>>4391198>>4391223>>4391226>>4391319You take the tiny cheese nibble and pop it in your mouth. A toll is a toll. You then step aside letting the little mouse knight cross the bridge to go fuck the dragon princess or something. You yawn and crawl back under you bridge, it's going to be a busy day tomorrow. A lot of farmer's are going to be trying to cross your bridge to get to the harvest festival to sell their food. You're going to have to decide whether to keep it business as usual with the tolling or keep your deal with Jack and not let the farmers cross your bridge at all.You decide to deal with that when it comes up tomorrow. No use letting it stop you from getting a nice troll sleep...It's very early in the morning when you hear wagon wheel's approach your bridge. You jump out from under the bridge and stop a group of wagons from crossing your bridge.The farmer's look fearful, but not surprised to see you. You suppose that you've been here long enough for the locals to know that you live under this bridge. What looks to be the leader of the caravan approaches you cautiously and hold out a small statue that after you take a closer look is a statue of YOU. The leader of caravan clears his throat and shakily begins to speak. "M-mighty Troll we humble farmers offer this statue of you as tribute to cross our bridge. Please have mercy on us and let us pass."What do?>Fuck Jack, take the toll and let them pass>Tell them fuck off. Jack better give you an amazing toll>Eat them>Eat dirt to show dominance>Demand something else as a toll (insert toll here)>Tell them to come back later with an even more amazing toll>Write in
>>4391348Tell them to fuck off and steal the statue as an act of dominance. If Jack flakes on his toll-giving, then we eat him as punishment.
>>4391348>Fuck Jack, take the toll and let them passnever understood that plan and already forgotten most of it. Take the toll and let them pass.
>>4391348>>Tell them fuck off. Jack better give you an amazing tollThe bridge is closed!
>>4391348>Tell them fuck off. Jack better give you an amazing toll
>>4391355>>4391411>>4391413>>4391434>>4391609"Fuck off. Bridge is closed this week. I'm not taking any tolls."All the farmer's look at you in shock, their leader tries stammers out something to you before you shut him up with a threatening growl. He goes back to the caravan and starts arguing with the other farmers before coming back to you."Your troll-ness please reconsider, all our livelihoods depend on getting our produce to the harvest festival. We'll let you take some of our crops from the wagons as a toll too. Please we need to cross this bridge."You glower at him and say, "fuck off, I said bridge's closed don't make me eat all of you."The leader throws his hands up and goes back to the caravan again. You hear him mention something about hiring bandits to the other farmers before they leave. Looks like you're going to have some trouble later.What do?>Find something that can be used as a weapon later>Go to sleep. They're humans, they won't do shit.>Eat dirt. Maybe you ate the wrong dirt last time. It could give you strength. Possibly.>Practice flicking your fire-making wand around>Write inToll Hoard: 18 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, music box, never-ending mead mug, 50 rocksTraits: Big Boy: +5 to combat rolls
>>4391630>Find something that can be used as a weapon later
>>4391630>>Find something that can be used as a weapon later
>>4391630>rip a small tree out of the ground. Good for smashin humans.
>>4391630>Practice flicking your fire-making wand aroundHow accurate are we with it currently? Maybe we can get more accurate.
>>4391630>Practice flicking your fire-making wand around
You decide that dealing with any bandits the farmers might hire would be easier with some kind of weapon. You survey your general area for anything that could serve as some kind of weapon. You see a small tree that could serve as a makeshift club for you and rip it out of the ground. After swinging it around for a bit you determine that it will serve as a good human masher. It's been a while since you had mashed human. You sit down and start waiting for any tolls or any trouble to come your way.It's almost nightime when you hear wagon wheels coming your way. You stand up and heft your tree-club expecting to be fighting some mean-looking bandits. The wagons are steadily getting closer to you, and you start to be able to make out the figures that are leading the wagons. They weren't exactly the type of bandits you were expecting...You can see 5 very flamboyant and scantily dressed bandits, they're all different races. There's a large orc, a human, an elf, a lizardman, and even a fucking Gnome... You're so lost in your hatred of Gnome's that you barely notice that the 5 bandits and the wagons are right in front of you now. The 5 bandits all start speaking at once and in unison and point their swords at you. Did they practice this?"We are the ass bandits! Bandits that take what they want and who they want. After facing ostracization and discrimination, we gay men of all different races banded together to form the ass bandits. Many assholes have been spread, and many people have been robbed. Now it is your turn, troll! Give us your toll hoard and that ass!"You weren't expecting inter-racial ass bandits, but you guess that smashing multiple races together will make the mash very tasty. What do?>Smash the ass-men with your tree>Set the wagon's behind them on fire with your wand>Try to eat them>Run away! Keep that asshole pure.>Let them pass, the assmen are too scary>Write in
>>4392531>smash em then Eat the quished remains.
Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>4392558+1
I need 3 1d100 (B2o3)
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4392614
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4392614
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4392531Guaranteed to succeed already but here is roll three afik
>>4392695>>4392624these fucking bandits are dead
You decide to turn the gays in mush. You're about to heft your club when you hear some music coming from the direction of where you keep your toll hoard. Is the music box playing something? You didn't spin it, but it's playing anyways. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl7zqpZBVrcThe ass-bandits use you being distracted by the music to start surrounding you, forming a rough circle around you. They're slowly closing in on you tightening the circle. It doesn't really matter what they do, though, since you're going to turn them into mush. You heft your tree club and spin around. To your surprise you end up hitting all the bandits, they tried to dodge but you spun the trunk too fast for them. All of them except the Gnome are knocked out in a pile, the Gnome is stuck under the bodies of his butt buddies and struggling to crawl out from under them. You won't let him. You raise your tree club as high as you can and smash down. You instantly smash all five of their bodies into a tasty looking mash.The farmers who formed up the caravan start taking their donkeys and horse and running, in their haste they don't bother bring the wagons full of their produce. Looks like you're getting a very big toll today. What do? >Chase after farmers >Eat the mash, it's the best fresh>Sing a troll victory song>Write in
>>4392756>>Sing a troll victory songGlorious victory.>Eat the mash, it's the best fresh
>>4392756>Eat the mash, it's the best fresh>Sing a troll victory songNice
>>4392756>>Eat the mash, it's the best fresh
You start singing a grand troll victory song after you spin the music boxes handle to find a suitable instrumental.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfIo6OM4LKE"Who lives in a castle under a bridge?The Troll King!Ugly and grey and porous is heThe Troll King!If tolling nonsense be something you wishThe Troll King!Then drop off the bridge and toll like the king!The Troll King!Ready?!The Troll King!The Troll King!The Troll King!The Troll King!"It is said that this song was composed for the Troll King's official coronation after the eating of the Gnome-o-mancer. That victory song made you very hungry. You get to work on eating the interracial mash. It is one of the tastiest things you have ever had. It has the delicate flavor of elf, the saltiness of lizardmen, the rough texture of orc, the familiarness of human, and the sweetness of Gnome. It is absolutely exquisite. All the eating and singing has made you very tired.What do?>Inspect the wagons for loot>Go to sleep, you've too much activity today already>Practice swinging club around>Eat dirt>Write in
>>4392902>>Inspect the wagons for loot>>Go to sleep
>>4392902Why not just take the whole wagon as loot, we can use it later for hauling stone for our bridge upgrade and plus anything on it is ours as well
>>4392902Drag wagon to loot pile then sleep
>>4392913Afterwards take a nap of course
(Hey anons not going to be updating anymore today, had some stuff come up.)
>>4393120All good boss, hope youre well, seeya tomorrow
>>4392902>>Practice swinging club around
You were going to inspect the wagons for food and shinies to add to your toll hoard, but then your troll brain had a genius idea. What if wagon was toll?! If wagon toll that means less time spent getting toll out of wagon and wagon can be used later to collect more toll!You pull the wagons down under the bridge into your toll hoard. You think you saw some of the food fall out of the wagon into the creek, but you have plenty of food now so it doesn't matter. You stretch out and close your eyes, ready to reward yourself for having a productive day with a nice sleep...It's decently early in the morning when you're woken up by sound of a wagon. You hop out from under your bridge to block whoever's coming, like you have done many times. Instead of a group of wagons like last time it's a singular wagon with a singular driver. He steps off the wagon and nervously smiles at you."Hello Mr. Troll, I've heard many... interesting things about you, and one of those thing was that you're not letting farmers pass the bridge. Well don't worry Mr. Troll I'm not a farmer, I'm a craftsmen! You can take a look inside my wagon if you want too! Also my toll to you is this carving of you I made, I heard of what you look like some from of my farmer friends." The "craftsmen" keep looking side to side and was nervously tapping his foot the entire time he was talking. You're starting to suspect he's lying, but then again he could just be scared of you since you're a giant man-eating troll. And you like the toll, you don't have any tolls that are personalized to you in your toll hoard.What do?>He can't lie in your belly. Eat him.>Let him through! He's a craftsman not a farmer, and it's a nice toll.>Inspect the wagon this seems fishy>Write inToll Hoard: 18 gold coins, fire-making wand, 5 very cool rocks, and glass thingy that can make bright light, music box, never-ending mead mug, 50 rocks, 4 wagons with varying levels of food and shinies
>>4394415>>Inspect the wagon this seems fishyIf he lying to us, we will treating him a like a child by spanking his rear.
>>4394415>>Inspect the wagon this seems fishyBe wary of tricky ambush when we go to inspect it.
>>4394450+1Also be wary of ambushes too.
>>4394450>>4394455>>4394496I need 3 1d100 (Bo3) to see how your inspection goes.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4394514
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4394514
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4394514
>>4394517>>4394522>>4394527You walk over to the wagon and bend yourself over a bit to peer inside the wagon. Everything seems to be in order, the crafts in the wagon are pretty shitty, but you guess it's kind of okay for some random nobody. You briefly consider inspecting inside the wagon, but decide against it, it looks fine, and you'll just break his wagon under your weight.The farmer walks very stiff-leggedly towards you."Everything... look fine Mr. Troll, I can assure you there's not food in this wagon, no sir."What do?>Let him through, you inspected it and it looks fine>Eat him! He's lying to you, you know it!>Inspect one more time (B2o3)>Write in
>>4394553>>Inspect one more time (B2o3)
>>4394553Can we try and intimidate him? Honestly, I'm more suspicious about him having the same type of toll as the farmers more so than his jumpy ass behavior. Or am I missing out on some troll lore regarding little statues?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4394553>inspect one more time (B2o3)
>>4394566You can try to intimidate him, there's a write in option for a reason.
>>4394570Oh OK.>>4394571Well I'll still vote for trying to scare him and see if he's lying.
>>4394564Psssst gotta roll anon, I already got 100
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4394553
>>4394553>Eat him! He's lying to you, you know it!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4394553>>Inspect one more time (B2o3)
>>4394564>>4394566>>4394570>>4394583>>4394609You decide to inspect the wagon one more time, something about this "craftsman" doesn't sit right with you. You lean into the wagon again and this time you notice something that's not quite right, there's a faint smell of manure. You tear into the floor of the wagon and you reveal a false bottom and under that false bottom is a ton of manure. You don't really understand why he would bother hiding manure, until it dawns on you. Is this is a manure bomb? Is he trying to bomb your bridge? You look back at the craftsman who's waiting a decent distance away, he doesn't seem to have noticed anything.You guess that he was sent by the farmers or he was apart of the group of farmers who you scared off earlier. They probably want revenge on you for not letting them pass and taking their wagons. They probably know how attached trolls are to their bridges, and probably don't want any other farmers to get past your bridge and get a leg up on them.What do?>Have him stand near the wagon then use your fire-making wand>Eat him>Tell him to leave, don't want to get into trouble with local authorities over killing a human>Spank him for being a bad human>Write in(Don't get on me about whether a manure bomb would actually work, I stole this from ck2. Blame them.)
>>4394641>>Have him stand near the wagon then use your fire-making wandBARBEQUE
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4394641>>Spank him for being a bad humanYou are naughty human!!!
>>4394641>throw craftsman in cart and hammer toss manure bomb cart back to the side he came fromThese farmers got jokes lol, so do we tho
>>4394641>>Have him stand near the wagon then use your fire-making wand
>>4394641>>Spank him for being a bad human>>4394783 Then this
>>4394644>>4394650>>4394783>>4394788>>4394790Next vote break tie, you're going to spank the human no matter what, but what you do after whether it's a hammer toss or bombing him is still being decided.
>>4394821If you think about it the hammer toss may cause it to explode anyway
You motion over to the human to come closer, he does so hesitantly, and as soon as he's close enough to reach, you grab him. He struggles in your grip and starts apologizing and crying profusely to you, saying he was put up to it, he was in debt and needed a way out. You don't really care, though, he's a bad human who tried to blow up your bridge. You bend him over your knee, maybe a little forcefully since you hear a loud crack and an earsplitting scream when you bend him over. You then take your large troll hand and give him a very hard spank. As soon as you hit him he spits up red human juice on you and throws up a little too. Ew. You don't feel like dealing with this gross human anymore and throw him into his manure filled wagon. You pick up the manure cart and do a sweet hammer toss in the direction of where he came from. The cart goes a decent distance before crashing down, you see the human just barely crawl away in time before the cart explodes, showering shit on him. He awkwardly, with a notable hunch in his back, runs away.Hopefully the human learned his lesson.What do?>Follow the human, he could lead you to the farmers who sent him after you.>Go to sleep, all that throwing and spanking made you tired>Inspect the wagons>Practice swinging around tree club>Write in
>>4395027Forgot the image
>>4395027>>Practice swinging around tree club
>>4395027>>Inspect the wagonsMaybe we can find more interesting stuff.
>>4395027>>Inspect the wagons
>>4395027>Inspect the wagons
>>4395027>inspect the wagon
You decide to inspect the wagons, you were too tired last night to look at what's inside them but now you're wide awake after punishing that human. You go over to your toll hoard and look inside the closest wagon...Oh no you have a gremlin infestation. This is what you get for leaving food out overnight without securing it. Dozens of small gremlins are eating YOUR food pile and there are likely many more in the other wagons. Race's that first letter is g are always trouble. You're going to have extract a toll from them, they're under your bridge and eat your food.You walk away quietly from the wagon, not wanting to alert them gremlins to your presence. If they see you they'll probably run away before you can extract a toll from them. Fucking gremlins.What do?>Eat them. They ate your food, now you eat them.>Capture one to be your pet>Burn the wagons with your fire-making wand. Fruit and veggie smoked gremlin sounds good.>Write in(You anons have any feedback for the quest? Is it too aimless or do you want to see more of something?)
>Eat them. They ate your food, now you eat them.>Capture one to be your pet>Burn the wagons with your fire-making wand. Fruit and veggie smoked gremlin sounds good.All three
>>4396537+1Your quest is good! I'm having a blast!
>>4396537+1>>4396531I like the pacing so far. We're a troll, not a shonen protag.
>>4396531Your doing good QM, keep up the good work>>4396537+1
>>4396537+1>>4396531what the other anons said
You decide to burn the gremlins, you haven't had any smoked food in a while and the crops in the wagons will add flavor. You first reach into one of the wagons a grab a gremlin to be your pet, though. It's been getting kind of lonely under the bridge, the only people who keep you company are the people you toll. You pick up your tree club for a second and stick the gremlin under it, trapping it. Can't have him running away after you went through the trouble of catching him. Next you pick up your fire-making wand and say the magic word "Gnome" to set a wagon on fire. You make sure to hold the door into the wagon and out tightly shut so the gremlins don't get out. You hear a lot gremlins screams from inside which means that they're going to be very flavorful. You hold the door shut until you can't hear any more screams and then put out the fire. You repeat the process for the other three wagons and now you have 30 fruit and veggie smoked gremlins to eat, sadly most of the gremlins were too brunt to eat, but the ones that are still edible are going to be really tasty.You're about to try your first gremlin when the screams of the gremlin you trapped distract you. You think for a moment before you figure out what the gremlin wants. He must be hungry! You take one of the smoked gremlins and bring it to the trapped one. The trapped gremlin stops screaming and instead starts leaking eye juice, you guess that it's not hungry after all, but it stopped screaming so it worked!You have a nice feast on the smoked gremlins and they were as delicious as you expected. All that eating made you tired, however, and you drift off into a nice sleep...It's early in the morning you're woken up by the abrasive sound of a gremlin yelling. Your pet gremlin is screaming again, it's really annoying and if he keeps it up he could start scaring off tolls.What do?>Leave it be, it'll get over you eating and slaughtering it's entire clan>Hit it with stick>It's just hungry, feed it the smoked gremlin you have left over>Free it>Write in
>>4396659>Write in name for gremlin
>>4396659>>Leave it be, it'll get over you eating and slaughtering it's entire clan>Gizmo
>>4396659>Hit it with stick
>>4396659>>Hit it with stick
>>4396669>>4396678>>4396686>>4396735You look at the screaming gremlin and come up with a perfect name for it. Gizmo! You then pick up a stick and start hitting it with. Gizmo let's out a few more cries before he finally stops screaming. It took a few decent hits with the stick to make him stop, though.Looks like you've made Gizmo stop screaming at the perfect time. You hear the pounding of hoofs coming towards you. You can see what looks like to be a horse-drawn carriage trailed by wagons and flanked by several armed horseman.What do?>Troll toll time>Spook the horses by appearing suddenly and yelling>Set the carriage on fire with you wand>Write in
>>4396799>>Troll toll time
>>4396799>Troll toll timeAlso bring the want just in case
>>4396803>>4396809>>4396815>>4396829>>4396897You jump out from under the bridge ready to toll whoever those people are. The carriage and the wagons stop at the sight of you and there seems to be some discussion inside the carriage, before a messenger is sent out. The fearful looking messenger approaches you and starts speaking,"My lord has urgent business across this bridge, he must sell his crops in town, please move from the bridge... troll. If you require a toll you will be given a bag gold upon my lord's crossing."You were excited for a toll, but it looks like this guy is just a particularly rich farmer/landowner, so you're not supposed to let him pass. Or you could let him pass anyways, it's not like Jack can do anything to you. You'd just mess up his plan and not get the big toll he said he would give you.
>>4396988I'm retarded I forgot the choicesWhat do?>Let them pass>Tell them bridge's closed>Tell them to pay toll up front>Write in
>>4396991>>Tell them bridge's closedJack better get back here soon.
>>4397002+1Beat this guy up.
>>4396988>Tell them bridge's closedBridge closed
>>4396799>Troll toll time
>>4396991Make them pay the toll, then don't let them pass.
>>4396531Great job, OP
>>4396991>Tell them bridge's closedThat jack better be worth missing all these tolls
>>4396988>Tell them bridge's closed
>Tell them bridge is closed>>4397495-1. We don't want to piss off the people **too** much. They might all band together with pitchforks and/or hire help and we'll get kicked out like last time or worse.
(Sorry anons I think I'm going to have to put this on an indefinite hiatus. I'm going to be moving into my college dorm soon and not have as much time. Also I've kind of lost motivation with questing. If an anon wants to take over the quest I'd be completely fine with that.)
>>4400026K no prob. Was fun while it lasted. Don’t forget to archive.
>>4400026np, thanks for telling usenjoy life man
>>4400026Thanks for letting us know, OP.Good quest, btw
>>4400026F Thanks tho