Your balloon have just crashed somewhere deep in the North pole. How do you unfuck yourself?
>>2587543>salvage the balloon material>gather cordage >saddle a polar bear>ride it southYou’re probably wondering how I would manage to subdue a bear. Well, as it turns out, to tame a wild polar bear enough to saddle it like a domesticated animal, all you have to do is show it your penis. Arctic animals are very self conscious about their size, and if yours is bigger, it completely breaks their spirit. Google some key terms like “riding bear dick” if you don’t believe. There are plenty of videos out there.
>>2587543>1. Drink my pee>2. Set fire to balloon>3. Club a baby seal>4. Take a drag off the smokes I brought>5. Fire into the air 3 times every hourBe an awesome few days before death.
>>2587543The first step is to gather rocks and branches to build a stone pickaxe.Then mine ore, create an iron smelter, and unlock "Mechanics I"Craft gears to build steam engine and unlock "Simple Vehicle I"Throw a few branches into the boiler and you're cruising in style.
>>2587543>pull out deck of card>lay out a solitaire in the snow>start playing...>feel tapping on my shoulder>*stranger clears throath and point* jack of spades on queen of hearts...>ask that guy for directions before he leaves
i get your sister to blow it back up, like she was blowing my penis the other day, anon.hope this helps
>>2587629I hate it when my friends and I go out and there's always those two or three guys who tech up from a couple of rocks and logs to semiconducting materials in like four hours. I can never get past steelmaking unless it's a long weekend and we're doing an overnight. Fuck, one time I took a girl I was into and she ended up getting sat-comms while I was in the bronze age stuff. She ended up hooking up with one of my friends who could solve trig equations with a bamboo slide rule. Embarrassing to say the least.
>>2587543I stay
>>2587549real
>>2587549Step one: kill the oldest polar bear in the world and discover how hard meat can be.
This thread is arctic recon gold
jump off the edge
