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What was the dumbest thing you did or the worst series of decisions you made while /out/? Any cool scars?

Recent one:
>be me, exactly 12 hours ago
>hot tenting in the mountains
>with an ax
>during a thunderstorm
>drop acid
>story ends as expected
>unable to process pain, but the red juice coming from my hand and visible bone tells me that this has escaped my wherewithal to deal with by myself.
>pull up all my shit in a bundle, haul ass off the mountain to car
>pile shit into car, drive 13 miles to nearest store with a landline
>fog rolls in: suddenly ghosts
>walk into local dollar store with a bleeding axe wound
>chuck car keys into woods
>won't go further, can't go back
>"please direct the nearest emergency services in my general direction for I have taken leave of myself"
>state police ask how I got there without driving: "Iunno"
>wind up in a hospital 30 miles away
>Relive the entire life's story of the old lady dying in the bed next to me
>Only six stitches, two hairs' breadth from cutting into ligament. No serious damage.
>peep on over to the next bed:
>nobody there.
>there was never anybody there
>fuckin ghosts
>cool off in a local 2-star motel overnight. Hitchhike back in the morning
>lady who was working the register over 12 hours ago is still there
>yells at me for throwing away my trash.
>next time I'm gonna get blood on her floor.

Don’t do drugs
I hate druggie faggots.
I love druggie faggots.
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Any of you get high on muscaroid mushrooms?
I had to walk home after a work party and got really thirsty and drank all the milk out of a sheep. I woke up and was suddenly really worried for the lambs and thought I'd have to tell the farmer or her lamb would die but I asked around and they said it should be fine. Glad I didn't show up with my cap in my hands and talk to the farmer looking back.
my fucking sides, this is why I still come here
>dumbest thing you did?
Took a woman with me.

A near-tragic thing was the time I met a stranger (male) on MeetUp for an overnight hike.
>early 30’s (same as me at the time)
>skinny fat
>definitely over burdened/over packed, even for just one night
>only planned on about 6 miles
>slightly warm, but certainly not hot
>dude gets heat exhaustion
>starts vomiting after we’d set up camp
>have him lie down in a shallow stream
>have to watch that he doesn’t pass out
>feels better
>goes to his tent and goes to sleep
It was seriously scary, and I think the closest I’d ever come to someone dying on a hike. The dude looked like absolute shit when we were setting up, totally drained, like someone who’s stuck in bed with the flu.
Aren't those pretty poisonous?
Not enough to kill you apparently. No one has ever died from amanita muscaria or pantherina. They can give you psychosis though.
couldn't you do the axe business before you took acid?
Really dumb but impressive you managed to drive and get help. Didn't you have a phone with you? Can't imagine you forget how to call but you know others can call and also you can drive..
Hahaha my dude
The interior team at the park I used to work for had a guy lie on his resume to get on the team, he basically claimed he was a really high level orca card holder and all this shit but he was actually a massive dumbass, he ended up flipping the canoe with all their food in it and their GPS units, so not only did they lose 3,000$ worth of gear, but they had to call a 7 day trip short because of him, the interior team head threw the biggest shit fit Ive ever seen because it was the most rookie move, he tried to stand up in the canoe to walk over and grab food from the barrel and toppled the canoe
I went camping on an island with some friends, ended up mixing acid and mushrooms
>Drugs kick in quick
>go barefoot rest of day
>lacerate big toe on razor sharp rocks by shore
>lacerate left foot on broken glass
>use Kbar to open chef boyardee can by making small stabs
>it opens and I didnt stab myself
>lacerate thumb on can
>all my appendages are being held together with bandaids and duct tape
>Why am I not coming down
> everyone is able to fall asleep
>Sun starts to come up
>I think I'll go home now
>Start to Kayak back to car
>Oh yeah the ocean goes up and down with tides
>drag kayak half a mile through muck swamp full of seashells
>still barefoot
>drive home is an hour, still tripping
>Wake up roommate to tell him my tale
>he has a girl over in his bed who probably thought i was a homeless bum who wandered into the house
>get in bathtub
>water turns brown
Kek you demon
that could have turned out so much worse.
fuck me why can't I lie so blatantly on resumes, I never get hired
Not using canoe barrels
They had canoe barrels, he had opened the food barrel to get food out of it, and when the canoe flipped, the food barrel flooded with all their food in it. I think you're either brain dead, gay or just downright stupid
If you're on drugs you have pretty much thrown logic out the window. I had an ax and a lot of wood, so I did the math, and it added up to chopping a lot of wood.

No cell service in the mountains, and I imagined that if a local saw a drugged-out lunatic dressed in camo and covered in blood and dirt knocking on their door after, they might be hesitant to help.
you guys are really making me question my plan to bikepack out to some woods to camp and do drugs
im definetly not doing it alone tho
Food barrel open yet they lost 3k worth of gear, try thinking your story through next time
Not sure what's worse situation since I'm still alive, but here goes...
1. It was a severe draught in northern africa and I was biking in Algeria packed with water to last for my route. People were in the process of dying and water transports were guarded with AK47s. Things was very desperate and in one occasion I was close to getting stabbed.
2. Biking in south spain and got caught in a heat wave, got heat stroke and turned delirious. Some spaniards found me and got me to a hospital. Close to death.
3. Mountaineering alone and slipped on the way down. Smashed my knee but managed to jump on one leg back to nearest town. Could have smashed my head.
Decided to climb a mountain covered in snow and ice while wearing summer running shoes with tread worn smooth and without any crampons, hiking poles, or an ice ax. In retrospect I don't know why I decided it was a good idea. But it went surprisingly smoothly right up until I slipped and caught my full weight on one hand, causing my wrist to make a disconcerting POP noise. So I had to carefully slide down the rest of the way with one hand. It hurt like heck and bruised my whole forearm but somehow I avoided any long term damage. Beginners luck I guess?
>I was biking in Algeria
Any interesting stories from your trip? I've always been fascinated by the idea of biking in the Sahara

Ahh you'll be fine, ǵ̵̗ő̷̼ ̵͈͝ą̵̐l̶̡̏ỏ̴̦ṉ̴̈e̵̖̒, I wouldn't worry about it.
> Be me, 21 years old with no knowledge of high mountain, skiing or ice climbing.
> Hike up a mountain in Switzerland in summer.
> Big glacier on top, sees a man on the glacier, getting close to the top. The man was, as you know, adequately geared.
> I was not adequately geared, only hiking shoes.
> Decides to go to the top like said guy because it looks cool and I'm fit.
> Walkupwards.jpg
> Close to the top I look back because it's getting hard and steep. Put my foot in the air, drop it, start sliding on the side of the glacier, unable to stop.
> Realise the cracks near me could be deep holes, I slide and STILL CANNOT STOP!
> Fuck me.
> Manage, by sheer luck, to get out of the glacier.
> Realise how dumb and lucky I was. Decide to always get to know the place I will be moving in before I move in from now on.
No scar but I was lucky.
At least he's listened. Every time I've had a dude get close to heatstroke, getting dizzy and slurring his words, being generally unreasonable, they always insist that they're fine and don't want to let you help them. I'm like faggot I'm not carrying you back down the mountain, so you best listen or I'll leave you here and call the cops to find you when I get home.

of course, I probably would carry them down the mountain, but they don't need to know that.
I brought non-hiking friends on a long hike. I've never seen so many minor things go so incredibly wrong, but I should've known we were set for fail when one of the fags had packed a massive bluetoothspeaker, and not even a pocketknife.
I ate a big greasy local dish the night before a two week hike I organized for 4 other people. Couldn't sleep because too hot. The two next days I had an indigestion and lost 4kgs while forcing my self to continue hiking.
Luckily friends offered their help to carry my shit.
>Luckily friends offered their help to carry my shit.
oh boy imagine the smell
the other day i found a piece of driftwood that had a really sharp point on the end so i wanted to make it a bit more blunt so i tried to break a piece of the tip off but it snapped into my hand and cut a 2cm gouge into the middle of my palm on my fapping hand feelsbadman
bikepacking and drugs go hand in hand anon. but i think alone i would probably stick to weed, personally
skinwalker hands typed this post
Why are men so autistic?
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>>drop acid
That's not a fuckup, it's an intentional sabotage.
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>and drank all the milk out of a sheep
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Mine's not so bad, but still stupid. A few days ago I decided to go on a 10km loop 1hr before sunset. I went alone, didn't bring a flashlight, didn't tell anyone where I was going. So as I'm about halfway through it begins to get dark, I realize I'm fucked, begin running along the trail like a retard, come to a fork in the trail, take the wrong path, realize my mistake after a few mins, decide to go off trail in the direction of where my trail *should* have lead. Get lost, have to go through thick brush and get raped by the thorns as I look for the trail. Mind you all of this time It's getting darker and darker (no moonlight, tall, thick forest). Manage to find the trail by following a creek and then climbing up a dirt embankment, then again run sections of the trail in pitch dark, schizing out in the meanwhile about all of the mountain lions, crackheads, and unholy creations which are all about to rape me any minute now. Every time I'd hear a noise (most likely caused by myself) I'd shit myself and run faster, until finally I got back to the trailhead.
tl;dr Went hiking alone at night, no flashlight, got lost and went full schizo. Worth mentioning that this was my first time ever hiking in that area, so I was basically asking for it.
>First time doing dispersed camping in Federal National Forest land around Mt. Rainier
>Drive shitty 2012 Kia Rio over bumpy as fuck gravel road, with the gravel being rocks the size of your fist
>Park and decide to walk up the road for potential better spots
>Find absolute beautiful cliffside lookout
>Head back down and decide to take Kia up to camp there
>Goes okay at first, then hit some very steep inclines with severe potholes littering the road
>Got stuck multiple times, only thing that saved me was years of driving in thick Midwestern snow
>Would just park if I saw a real rough patch and rearrange stones to try and make it go smoother
>Prayed to God that I'd stop having doubts If I managed to make up up alive
>Somehow made it up with minimal damage to car

Now I always make sure to check the elevation of NF roads before hand.
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>be me, 19
>enlisted to help move mom's friend to new house
>mother of a GWOT vet
>I get to keep his desert camo rain jacket and super-basic survivalist book
>2 weeks later
>take knife, phone, and lighter into small wooded area behind local apartments
>always wanted to make a bow drill
>have a blast searching for a suitable stick
>hold stick in left fist, using knife to shave said stick into a point
>shaving TOWARD my body
>using a lot of force
>knife inevitably slips
>cleaves into finger
>scamper home
>patch myself up only after tracking blood all over the hallway floor
>pic related
Good times.
Skin was very stiff after healing, was very concerned I had disfigured myself and lost effective function of my index finger, but it eventually loosened up so I just have a cool scar from a learning experience. To date that's my only innawoods adventure despite being into survivalism and /k/ stuff, just never plan on going out or know if I have the right gear.
How do you handle the drug in question? Are you the type to get high and then go "ok, time for an elaborate plan with sharp tools that I can't possibly pull of in this state"? Then don't. If you are the type to just get stoned, set down and let it happen, then you should be fine.

Or put it another way, if you set up camp, eat, have everything ready and just use drugs for as digestif, you should be fine. If you plan on being stonned all weekend you should stay home.
>sir i dont own any sheep, only male goats.

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