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What are some funny experiences you’ve had when you first started hiking? I can’t stop thinking about this and I gotta get it off my chest. A few years ago I went to a local mountain natural reserve and I set up camp to spend the night, a few hours go by, horrible wind and rain, my fucking flecktarn poncho I had used as a roof flies away and then my sleeping bag flies away too.
I pack up and start making my way to my car, with my headlamp and my torch, I trip and fall because it’s dark as fuck and I can’t see shit, headlamp is broken, I’m wet, muddy and exhausted
I finally get to the car and feel like a complete faggot and drive back home
>>
>>2223411
when I was a kid in scouts, I toally forgot water on a weekend backpack trip.... worst part is I didn't even realize until I got on the trail.
>>
Went hiking without a compass on my second long hike / wild camp.

Decided to take a shortcut, got a little lost but thought if I keep walking I'll hit the trail. Kept walking... It started getting dark, still not sure where I'm going so try to follow the sun. Phone starts running out of battery.

Pic rel of the forest I got lost in.

Finally find a road as my phone (and only map) completely ran out of power. Had to knock on an old couple's door and ask them to charge my phone and drive me back to my bus stop.

Felt like a complete faggot on the ride home.
>>
>>2223411
slept in a 3 person tent alone with nothing but my clothes and a wool blanket in 5C
have since bought a sleeping bag
>>
>>2223411
13 years ago, when I was still a kid, there was one time when my mother deliberately tried to stop me from going out by putting my clothes into the washer. In the middle of the winter, and me having just one set of padded clothes. So my dumb ass thought it'd be alright to go in jeans and thin autumn gloves, and my M65 which she hadn't been able to fit into the washing machine. 5km at -13C (in the valley, probably -20C on the peak) doesn't sound that bad, does it?
I ended up with hypothermia, had blisters form under my fingernails and to this day have nervedamage in one finger that makes it extremely sensitive to cold and heat.
Moral: if you don't have the gear you need, stay home.

The second error was the one time I tried to navigate with a compass. My cheap "USarmy" compass had a sticky spot I didn't know about, and I ended up marching 10km NNE who I meant to go SE. No biggie though, as soon as I realized that I wasn't where I thought I was, I just went with the foolproof method of following water, aka going down to the nearest creek, then following that. Ended up 12km north of home at dusk, took a bus home, and that was that.
Moral: know how to get home if your navigationfails you.
>>
The memeshoes I bought were advertised as waterproof and I believed them without testing.
>>
>>2223411
When I was in scouts I forgot to properly stow my pack or have proper water proofing bags so all my stuff got soaked in a fall campout when we were doing survival and brush shelters. It drizzled the whole time and never went above 60F and I was cold, wet and on the borderline of hypothermia the whole time. Adding insult to injury I was a damned fool and tried to build my shelter under a locust tree, which has huge thrones. Also ended up getting poison ivy on my hands and arms.
4/10 learned a lot
>>
>>2223411
I brought some weed and a pipe to smoke during the trip, and night i threw it in the gear loft of my tent and forgot about it the next morning/day. In the afternoon I went in to my tent for something and the resin in the pipe had all melted out from the heat and soaked the mesh gearloft, and dripped down on some clothes. Smelled really bad after that.
>>
Last year during the summer peak of COVID I went hiking in the mountains to a group of lakes with a date. We made it there, no issues and had a good time dipping our feet. We’d been arguing for some months now about the existence of rattlesnakes in the area (which btw they do) and on our way back to the car, this retard spooked a rattlesnake straight out of its nest. I saw it flank him, yelled out “rattlesnake”, it rattled its tail, looked at us and slithered away. Not really funny but whatever. Just a reminder that you should listen to people that know more than you.
>>
>>2223546
>be normie
>its 2020, better do what others do
>go "/out/" with gay partner
>been arguing for actual months about a simple topic
>on the 50 foot walk from the camp site to the car, see a snake
>s-stutter out 's-snake..'
>fidget spinner falls out of pocket, makes a sound as it spins
>snake is grossed out by the rainbow flags glued onto our paratogia jackets and leaves
>heh, trust the experts
>>
>>2223411
I made the mistake of letting a normie "see" and handle my fixed-blade knife one trip. I handed it to him in its sheath (my mistake), and he gripped the sheath around the rim and yanked the super-sharp knife out, slicing his first 2 fingers open oat the knuckle (his mistake). We were car camping so I had my car kit, so cleaned and taped him up.
Give fixed-blade knives to people handle-first, edge up, outside of their sheathes, bros.
>>
>>2223552
>really took the time to show me how much he’s dialing 8
Do you want a gold star or something?
>>
>>2223563
I honestly don’t understand, boomerbro. Why are you seething this hard over a story?
>>
>>2223559
>took the time
I type fast, soory
>how much he’s dialing 8
>gold star
I feel like these are reddit terms you are unironically using. I feel like my joke may have revealed a truth.. interesting.
>>
>deletes post
>pussies out by editing what he was saying
>”my j-joke haha yeah im definitely not mad over one irrelevant detail in the story”
K
>>
>>2223564
>>2223569
>fixes a typo, posts 95% of the same post
>haha what a pussy
>continues to post several times pretending like original message didn't hit close to home
You know, it was a joke originally, but at this point I think I just more-accurately summed up your experience
Make sure to screencap this message, too, for your reddit post later
>>
>seething boomer tripling down on the damage control
Love to see it. Maybe I will screencap it and share it for laffs POG
>>
>>2223580
>admits to doing exactly what I said
You love to see it. Anyway, have fun, man.
Don't derail this thread further.
>>
>admitting to seething, doubling down and dilating
Thanks boomer. Enjoy your day
>>
>>2223559
>>2223564
>>2223569
>>2223580
>>2223586
"dialate, seething, boomer, doubling down, tripling down"
Yikes man.
>>2223411
When I was in Cub Scouts, people would underpack water so they had to commie 'share' the water I packed up the mountain. No fair, man
>>
>>2223415
i thought the point of being in scouts is you have adult leaders or older kids to look out for and make sure everyones prepared
>>
>>2223690
>>2223505
ok this one too. were your leaders busy fucking the other scouts or something
>>
I went camping and forgot the tent poles at home.
>>
Did a 3 day hike with a 55lb pack. Was not ready for that how much that would slow me down.
Now I keep it under 25lbs.
>>
>>2223690
They do if your new but they don't go through your pack or anything. By that point I was pretty experienced and should have not forgot it. Think I was using my water bottle the day before and just forgot to grab it.
>>
>>2223415
There's an easy solution to this. Just have ever kid give you a tiny bit of their water until you have enough. They should all be taking more than they need anyways
>>
>>2224140
We had pumps/iodine and my buddy gave me his extra bottle so it all worked out. Dumbest thing i ever did camping though
>>
>>2223411
Thought a very light snow/sleet was nothing to worry about since it wasn't sticking, and trusted my pack to keep things generally dry. Set up camp late & cold, and my bag is soaked at the foot. Long uncomfortable night followed. Errything goes into waterproof stuff sacks now, no matter the weather forecast.

#2 Attempted to use crocs as river-crossing slippers. Dropped into a pit halfway across, recovered fine but the current whipped off one shoe, never to be seen again. River shoes need a good tight fit.
>>
Recently at work a couple of my female coworkers were talking about pitching tents or something and I overheard it and my tism had me jump into their conversation and say I’m good at pitching tents etc and more awkward stuff because I didn’t realize they were talking about erections. It was pretty autistic, but I guess it worked out because after laughing at my expense a little the one gym Stacy was interested in camping and all since she cares about covid bs, and now I have plans to go hiking and camping with her.
>>
I wore brand new boots to my first 10 mile hike in boy scouts. At the end of that blister-forming hike, we had cup ramen for dinner--which I mever had before--and I never felt like I had cup ramen that tasted as good as that night. I quit scouts pretty early because I hated camping on another person's timetable.
Recently, I made the mistake of thinking I didn't need to apply sunscreen because the sun was just coming over the ridgeline as I was already on my way out. It took longer to get back to the trailhead than I imagined and I got a bit sunburned.
>>
On two occasions I forgot my paddles going out kayaking. First time it was inconvenient, second time I realized I lost my wallet and the trip was scrubbed.
>>
>>2224431
Biggest beginner mistake had to been my first down river trip. Friend and I had scouted entry and exit on this river, google mapped this river, thought we had the thing figured out. We figured if the water was moving about 3mph and we could go at least 5mph paddling the route should just last about 5hrs being from our estimation of 25miles. Drop my truck off under a bridge where we were to get out and his mom drives us to another bridge to get in. Get in about 6am, things are going ok. Hours pass and we start realizing this is one windy river and around every bend is felled limbs to navigate. Twice there were felled trees spanning the river that he was able to get under but being on a sit-top I got knockoff. Wet but not really cold, keep going. Now 12 hours later the sun is setting and starting to get dark. We finally enter a town and reach a bridge and an exit. Find a bank to rest on, build fire and decide to camp the night. This was supposed to be a day trip so no camping gear, barely any food and its February. After a long, cold night trying to keep the fire going and only having a towel to cover up with the sun sets and we decide to call for a ride and end the trip.

Lesson learned: always give yourself more time than you think on a river because shit happens. especially if the river is not in regular use.
>>
>>2224202
>female coworkers
Don't shit where you eat, anon.
>>
>>2224738
I’m pretty autistic and can barely maintain a conversation with women let alone make a move on one. This will likely end in getting stood up and hiking anyways cause I already planned to, or hiking with woman coworker and at best not being the weird guy to her anymore. Unless she makes all the moves I can assure you it doesn’t end in sex
>>
>>2223529
Dear lord, did you just never clean the pipe? How was there enough resin to drip out and run all over your shit?
>>
1. Went snow camping solo with a cheapo and early a decade old tent. It started snowing that evening and either the perspiration or the fabric of the tent started dripping water all over me. I got completely soaked. I eventually gave up trying to sleep and drove to the nearest motel.

2. Went summertime camping in the Australian alps with only basic gear to wake up one morning freezing cold in a frost with only a basic 16C+ bag and no mat. My doc boots froze solid and I couldn't get my feet into them so i had to completely unlace them and walk around like that for a while. Also blew out my knees on the trip and could barely walk for the next few days.

3. Went on a group camp/hike and got led by some friends who had no idea what they were doing up a super long uphill track rainforest track with only day walking supplies (this was pre-smart phone so I think we didn't even have led lights on our phones). The sun ended up setting and we were at least 4-5 hours backtrack from our campsite. One of the people leading made the decision to run down a nearby forestry road which thankfully linked up to the campsite to ask a camper to come pick us up and drive us back down to camp. I would have been happy to walk back in the dark but the others in the party were not keen. We eventually got picked up by a nice bloke and ended up hitting the pub next day when our camp food ran out.
>>
>>2224820
>either the perspiration or the fabric of the tent started dripping water all over me
about 1/3 of the water your body expels each day is from sweat and breathing. when that warm wet air hits the cold tent walls condensation forms. the only solutions are to get a tent with
>a) good ventilation
keep cooler air flowing through the tent to prevent a build up of warm, moist air
>b) breathable fabric
there are fabrics that will allow water vapor to flow out but not let big water drops to seep in (gore-tex, futurelight, neoshell, there's a bunch)
>c) multiple layers or insulation
layers of fabric with an air gap between each layer will keep the cold outside air from reaching the warm interior fabric. this is more common in semi-permanent structures like the tent rigs you see on top of outlanding vehicles, tents setup at mountain base camps, etc
the cheapest option by far is having better ventilation. the warm air rises so it shouldn't make you too much colder having some air flow through the top of your tent. having the vent downwind be open more than the vent upwind will help prevent your tent becoming a cold, high pressure system
>>
>>2223433
fucking hell lad
>>
>>2224809
Do you actually maintain your shit anon?
>>
>>2224880
nta but i do, is that weird? picking out the gear for the trip, using the gear, maintaining it then putting it away in the proper place is like 1/3 the fun of /out/ for me
>>
>>2224202
This is good news anon I'm proud of you
>>
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>>2224809
It wasn't like a tap or anything. It was some drips.
Anyway, this is called the "beginner mistakes" thread.
>>
>>2223411
Went to my first longer hike (20 something km, with lot of elevation) in my teens, but didn't have a hiking boot, so I took my dads old workboot, which was very heavy and rigid
It was not very fun, couldn't really walk for a few days from the blisters and the general feet pain
>>
>>2223415
>>2223505
Damn, all that happened to me in scouts was i got stuck in a tent with a kid who pissed himself nightly for a week.
>>
Went on a normie hike to see a waterfall in the mountains. Was an /out/ noob and didn't break any water. By the time I got to the falls I was walking with my mouth open trying to swallow the mist. The 2 other people I was with didn't bring any water either and none of us mentioned being thirsty so I like to think they were dehydrated as well
>>
>>2223411
If you build a shelter like that with a poncho then you have to dig a hole.
I used to do it like your pic except I’d dig a small trench with a bench seat I could sit on and leave a 12’ opening to see out of and for my arms, I’d let my SAW sit outside the hole but still under the poncho.
Cover the poncho with a light dusting of clods and grass.

t. grunt
>>
>>2225042
and then it rains and you're sitting in a mud hole like the mole people >>2218137
>>
Went hiking in winter without proper preparation. It was the first time I've ever went hiking during winter. The hike wasn't even that difficult, a small mountain - 4 hours walking up, 3 hours walking down.
However I only had a t-shirt, a light winter jacket, summer jogging pants and some crappy $15 winter shoes.
3 hours into the hike, I start being really, really cold. Especially my feet and legs. I didn't want to be a pussy and quit, so I continued on. The closer to the top I got the colder it was. Around the path there was easily 2 meters of snow. When I reached the peak, boots soaked through and my feet and socks were completely wet in -10 C cold. My legs hurt from cold too because I decided that summer jogging pants are an appropriate wear for a winter hike. Somehow made it to the bottom, I did not feel my feet at all. They were mostly fine the next day but I certainly felt like a faggot on the drive back home.
>>
>>2225062
Did you hop in a hot shower when you got home and live through the pain of hot water on frostbite? I miss living in the North.
>>
>>2224202
>anon makes a friend
Good on you dude, have fun out there.
>>
>>2223411
>be me years ago
>there are no smartphones
>I do not own a phone
>LED flashlights are still years away; it wasn't modern day where Walmart, Harbor Freight, and Dollar Tree sell them for cheap or practically give them away, so not everyone is carrying a flashlight
>I am too young to own any decent flashlight and there was no way I could carry a Maglite with me short of putting a backpack on
>every flashlight I own a shit
this will be important later
>go on a walk through the woods with someone
>get out of the car, walk who knows how long; being young, it felt like it was a long distance, but I'm sure I've walked further than that on the same "trail"
>damn, almost to the end, let's go a bit further
>can't stop now, gotta get to the end...
>getting darker
>gotta get...to the end...
>get to the end which really didn't matter; it was just exploration and I could go start at the "end" on a different day and get to wherever I made it
>start walking back
>it gets darker
>and darker
>and darker
>it is now pitch black
>two people in the woods with nothing but a flip phone's screen and the moon for light
>I have never been in the woods at night
>it is extremely fucking dark
>we take a good 30 minutes to get back
>>
>>2223555
>taking precautions to hand someone a sheathed knife
youre friend is just fucking retarded kek
you should be able to hand someone a sheathed knife in any orientation with no problem
>>
>>2223559
I would like a gold star, please.
>>
>>2225124
I remember I showered with lukewarm water. Wasn't very comfortable but I definitely felt relieved to finally warm up my feet.
>>
>>2225216
you need an editor. reminds me of reddit storytelling. it was such a nice thread too
>>
>>2225349
>greentext story adding to threads content
>looks very plebbit to me
You need to go back faggot, you will never fit in here.
>>
>>2225403
>you need to
>you really need to
>you absolutely must go back
>you must
please write in the style you are defending
>>
I bought into tacticool bullshit and carried a shitton of unneeded heavy trash in my 5.11 backpack when hiking. In the last years I learnt what I actually need, just switching to a different backpack saved me nearly 4 pounds
>>
>>2224202
I had a cute girl I met in my running group talk to me about hiking since she new I liked to go /out. I'm not good at social but she was very friendly and kept suggesting we take a short trip somewhere. She talked about this valley to the north she went as a kid but was scared to go alone because it's off-trail. We agreed on a weekend and she emailed to say she'd bring along her big dog and asked if I minded her carrying a guitar.
I replied that both sounded good, so that if we get lost we could burn the guitar so we didn't have to eat the dog raw.
Didn't hear from her after that.
>>
>>2225586
She sounds like a no-fun normie. Sorry it happened that way, but you are probably better off. If you can't joke with your wife, unless she has like 12 kids, what is there
>>
>>2225567
Ha one of my bushcraft mates is just the same. His pack weighs is 3 times heavier than mine empty or loaded. And he bragged he can hang 20kg things to it because of the sturdy materials. I tried to tell him 15kg total weight is already quite some weight.
And he always brings unnecessary heavy things like a small shovel, a huge pocket saw, and an ax, folding chair... Yet he switched from a thick thermarest zlite like pad to a thinner fordable one he can store inside the bag because he did not like how it looks attached to his bag.
Then one day we had a long prepared 2 nights adventure and he started to actually walk with his full pack and he was baked before 2 hours had past. Typical car bushcrafter who has all the gear in the wold but not the stamina to carry it 10km.
Everything must be in camo, grey or black or he doesn't like it.
>>
Went camping in the winter with a friend. It snowed and I had a 40 degree bag and shitty shelter setup. Luckily I brought a mylar blanket, so I got in that and didn't freeze to death. I always make sure to have warm enough gear now.
>>
>>2223411
okay kids here's an important lesson: if you decide to go yolo camping in the middle of winter rains, make sure your shoes are actually waterproof

t. learned about trench foot
>>
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> be me today.
> drive avout 53 miles out to DNR land near lake.
> take my 93 honda deep inna hills and park by fallen tree near peak i wanna explore.
> climb up hill with gear take some cool photos.
> sun setting.jpeg
> walk back to my car.
> put all gear in car and put my key in the ignition but it wont turn.
> Oh Fuck, jiggle keys and spazz out a little trying to get car started to no avail
> Pull pack back out and start my march down the mountain after dark.
> 4 miles later get cell service
No one would answer so I somehow got an uber walked another 3 miles to highway and spent $90 on a ride home.
> my car is now stuck deep innawoods with a fried ignition lock cylinder.
Beginner mistake maintenance your vehicles regularly
>>
>>2223555
Based trips. Confirmed your friend is just retarded. There are many like him though that I don’t understand. Whenever they are handed sheathed knives or folders, they feel the need to open them as hard and fast as possible. I theorized it’s an attempt to make a SHHHK noise like in the movies.
>>
>>2223411
My only major blunder was a weekend camping trip where we didn’t expect snow. When I came home from school I forgot to bring any long pants, jackets, or long socks. After hiking all day to out camp site I was standing in a foot of snow with tennis shoes, shorts, and a light fleece. With soaking wet cold socks.

What made it worse was my dad had the “brilliant” idea of putting the tent on a thick patch of snow instead of the dirt because “it will be like a cushion to sleep on”. Shivered all night and swore I was going to lose a toe. Never hiked faster getting my ass out of there.
>>
>>2223692
>were your leaders busy fucking the other scouts or something
Nah, my troop leader and assistant were the stand back and let the boys figure it out types. They didn't hover, they gave guidance when asked, and taught us some things too. But when we were out camping we were more or less left to our own devices. Mostly that just turned into ridiculous games of capture the flag where everyone would try to go full ghilli suit and try to stealth into the opponent's area.

I was never in any real danger either. We didn't often do any deep woods camping and civilization wasn't far away. I was just cold wet and miserable by the fire the whole weekend. Lesson learned about making sure your gear stays dry.

>>2225037
Similar to one of my favorite stories from my first time at a scout camp.
>be me at week long scout camp for first time
>have general lay of the land
>coarse gravel road has lake at one end and px at other
>first night
>tent up with buddy
>rake out because it was a long day
>wake up in middle of night
>standing in the middle of the coarse gravel road
>barefoot
>carrying my sleeping bag for some reason
>oh shit oh fuck damn aliens
>figure if I pick a direction I'll know where I am
>chose poorly
>went in wrong direction and ended up at lake
>back track
>feet hurt because the gravel is fist sized and pointy
>make it back to camp
>get back into tent
>rake back out
>ask tent mate what happened in the morning
>he said I got up in the night, picked up my bag and walked out
>look at him like he retarded for not stopping me
>have to spend the rest of the week with a 'rattler' tied to my leg at night
>it was a can with gravel in it
>idea was the sound would wake me up
>ended up waking up the entire troop when I had to piss in the middle of the night
>multiple times a night
>every single night
>>
>>2223420
Kek
>>
>>2223552
>go out with gay partner.
>>
Biggest rookie mistake I made was not paying attention to the foliage I was hiking through. A patch of it must have been poison ivy/oak. Got it on my hands and then, nevitably, my dick when I had to piss. Cock swelled up real bad and had terrible itching. Had to go to the docs to get a steroid shot and strong ointment. Even now if I even THINK I see poison ivy my junk starts itching and I run away like a bitch.
>>
>>2223411
I’ve posted the long version here before, but here’s a summary…
Set up camp near beach. Mega storm comes in, was getting worse pretty quickly.
Suggest to tourist chick she would be better off getting a motel for the night because the area is known for high winds and her canvas tent obviously wasn’t going to handle it. She insisted she was fine.
Next day saw a woman was killed at that camping area overnight. Was definitely her, she was the only other person there.
>>
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>>2226637
>>
>>2226641
city boys lmao
>>
>>2226652
Suburbs, bro. Fuck the city. Having said that I spend most weekends on my family land out in the country. It's not /out/ by any means, but it wouldn't even qualify as rural.
>>
>working downtown vancouver
>area is starting to shut down because of snowstorm
>office waits several hours longer than other businesses because "it's not that bad"
>office finally sends everyone home mid afternoon
>train ride is 20 minutes to get home
>get to the train station and it's PACKED
>managed to get on what would turn out to be the last train
>make it 5 stops before trains are shut down
>last 3 stops are farther than previous 5 stops combined
>standing around in snowstorm with other wagecucks trying to figure out how to get home
>realize shoes that had been falling apart are letting in more icy water than the titanic
>after 5 minutes foot is so cold and hurts so bad i start panicking
>leave my herd of stranded retards
>walk down the road into the storm, becoming king retard
>pass by store and lights are still on
>employee says they're stuck there for the night, ask if i can use the bathroom
>take off shoe and slush pours out
>foot is bluish white and has slush on it
>put it in the sink and spend 5 minutes running cold water then room temp then warm water on it (warm water at first hurt so bad i almost fell)
>foot is working
>get plastic bags from shopbro
>put dry sock on cold foot, put both feet in bags, put bag feet in shoes
>return to the retard herd
>someone from transit company came by saying they had plows and buses coming
>2 hours later get on bus
>takes 2 more hours for the bus to go the distance it wouldve taken train 10 mins
>finally get home
>take shower
i was maybe 19 at the time but it taught me the importance of dressing for the weather and not your transportation
>>
>>2226646
How do you die to high winds?
>>
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>>2226922
nta but people have died to beach umbrellas. it's not the wind but what it can carry
>>
>>2226922
here's some electrical wire that was threaded through a tree by a tornado
>>
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>>2223411
I forgot a spoon once. Like a fucking retard - I prepped for days, packed lots of shit, and I forgot the one simple thing.

Had to make due with spoon I made of coke bottle and isolation tape. Pic related.
>>
>>2223433
>my dumb ass thought it'd be alright to go in jeans and thin autumn gloves, and my M65 which she hadn't been able to fit into the washing machine. 5km at -13C (in the valley, probably -20C on the peak)
I got cold just reading this.
>>
>went bikepacking
>go to bed in the tent, temperature is ok
>later, still not sleeping, it's getting colder
>wool clothes are in the bag on the bike that's locked some 20 meter away
>don't want to get up because it's colder outside
>spend like 6+ hours being cold in the sleeping bag
>putting jacket on and off because it gets too wet from my breath
>only get some sleep in the morning
>>
>>2225586
That was genuinely a funny joke, fuck her no sense of humour
I had a similar experience once, if she can't recognize a joke she's not worth your time
>>
>>2223411
>.
Had some experience camping alone in the forest and no problems with the nightly nature sounds.
I brought my dog for the first time with me overnight and he never had spend a night outside the house. I had no tent, just a tarp. He didn't let off guard and kept weeping and growling the whole night at every noise. I spent many hours comforting and petting him. One of the worst nights i had out. finally when the sun started coming up, we had a little rest and slept almost till noon.
>>
>>2226649
Tranny hands typed this post
>>
>>2226649
The Master Baiter
>>
>>2226652
What is this image
>>
>>2223433
Dubs of truth
>>
I broke my leg while hiking in the badlands and got stuck for like 3 days, didn't tell anyone where I was, not many people would have cared, sucked ass. Had to hobble like 7 miles to a parking lot and it took fucking forever.
>>
>>2223411
Here's some beginner mistakes:
> Go camping with then-gf
> Go with her bratty, fat little sister
> Go with her catty, fat gay bestie
> Go with all her male friends, including one she fucked several times <1 year before
> Never stop to think about why all her friends are men
Another time:
> Go out for little overnighter
> Pack big can of sloppy joe meat
> Later that night, break roommate's shitty can opener on large can
> Manage to get it open with pliers
> It's "just add X lbs. of ground meat", it's just the fucking sauce.
Another time:
> Hankering for s'mores
> Pollution level too high, outdoor fires banned so can't use my fire pit.
> Go out innadesert
> Pass signs "Fire danger high: ABSOLUTELY NO FIRES, tracers prohibited, etc.."
> Set up wood
> Set alight
> 5-10 seconds later, 7 foot tall flame starts whipping around in 12 foot radius in the wind gusts
> Put out fire within seconds of lighting it with fire extinguisher I brought
> Remove vast majority of wood
> Start another fire
> Make a couple of s'mores but it's still whipping around way too much in the wind, maybe 2.5-3 feet.
> Put it out with water and boots
>>
>>2228142
>Never stop to think about why all her friends are men
was with someone like this. she lived in a town i regularly had to travel to for work. would sometimes visit each other to fuck.
>tells me she can't wait for next work trip
>head down to see her that weekend
>get there and go to dinner with her friends
>her boyfriend shows up
>the dinner we're at is her boyfriend's sister's birthday dinner
she said she was just friends with the guy. even worse:
>she invited me cause her bf couldn't go
>he got off work for an hour to wish sister happy birthday
>he goes back to work
>she spends the night with me in a hotel
if i had just left after dinner i wouldn't have been the asshole in the story but i was 22. and she was hot and turns out crazy. that was the last time i saw her
>>
>>2225447
You need to go back
>>
>>2224743
>>2224738
Shit on her, anon.
>>
>>2226641
Don’t touch your dick while /out/
You don’t need to be accurate just pee
>>
Younger degenerate days
>Bimonthly acid trips at same trail & campgrounds with same friends
>Best memories of younger life
>Only $5/night to camp but got in late and skipped paying occasionally w/o any problems
>Drop acid, hike until sunset, finish trip in campsite is usual routine
>Get back to campsite, be loud and intoxicated
>Forest cop kicks us out
>Get to drive home for 1hr while peaking
>>
>>2226649
How embarrassing
>>
>>2226867
Holy fuck bro
>>
first time tent camping in upstate NY during Fall
>Bought a cheap walmart tent,
>bought air mattress at walmart
>bought a cheap walmart sleeping bag probably rated for 30F.
>check weather in NYC before I left, lowest it gets is 50F haha
>cold and miserable as fuck for the entire night. didnt even bring a beanie, my head never felt so cold before
>barely got any sleep
>so cold I couldnt even regret my decisions.

funny enough, the happiness I felt that morning after sipping my coffee watching the sun rise with a campfire cracking was something else.
>>
>>2229063
>Get to drive home for 1hr while peaking
On how many micrograms?
>>
>>2225037
327?
>>
>>2223411
>be 8
>go /out/ with dad and friends
>They like to get drunk and prank eachother
>Decide to pull a funny prank myself
>Pee on one of the guys tents at 2am for a hearty laugh
>He gets super pissed
>shovels dirt on our tents and drives out at like 3am
>its a 6 hours drive back

He was pretty pissed bros.
>>
>>2230437
Holy based
>>
>>2223411
used to bring a pellet gun to harass campers at night time with, especially earthy crunchy ones. nearly got myself into serious trouble on hike so i stopped doing it
>>
>>2227637
Good boy was doing his job, dogs are for guarding at night and resting at day.
>>
>>2225586
>fag you barely know jokes about killing your dog

Good for her
>>
>>2223411
I went campign a week ago and was setting up in a pine stand, I saw a trench in the ground and went wow that looks like a really comfy trench to lay in, set up my tent in it and then learned my lesson when the rain cam
e
>>
>>2227367
why not carve a wooden one
>>
>>2225586
If that's true, she was a waste of time, anyway.
>>
>>2226922
>How do you die to high winds?
Sorry should have included key info!
Her tent got picked up and blown into trees. Died from head and internal injuries.
>>
>>2231713
Ouch. Almost lost a couple scouts in my troop to high winds.
>their tent was in a more exposed section of the campsite
>there's a lake downhill
>wake up, their tent is missing
>got blown down the hill and stopped just short of the lake
>somehow the two of them slept through that

Another 15 feet and they'd have been in the water, fortunately for them the hill flattened out a lot just before the lake.
>>
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>>2223411

Went on a backpacking trip with my best friend when I was 17. Section J of the PCT, 75 hard miles in the cascades. I wore nylon shorts, cotton socks and boxers, and an old pair of running shoes. I was fit, but the longest hike Id done previous to this was maybe 6 miles. My buddies dad knew an ultrarunner who'd done it in 2 days, so we viewed that as the time to match.

We actually made it almost halfway on the first day, 34 miles, but at a terrible cost. My inner thighs were mincemeat from chafe, terrible blisters, sun burned, and covered in bug bites. We slept under a rainfly, propped up by trekking poles, near a small lake. The mosquitoes feasted. By noon on day 2, after drinking almost no water, I was dehydrated to the point of hallucinating, and had gnarly flu like symptoms. Shivering, chills, aches, dizzy. The chafe between my legs had turned to open, pustulating, bleeding sores by this point, and I feared it was sepsis. My joints had also swollen, and were very tender. Each step I took my body was in intense agony. To be in that sort of pain and exhaustion over such a long duration, knowing it could be days before we made it out, was a type of suffering that I cant adequately put into words. Eventually I collapsed, around mile 50, luckily not injuring myself in the process, at which point my friend forced me to drink 2L of water. I fell asleep against a tree, and when he woke me up an hour later I felt strong enough to keep going. We made it out the afternoon of day 3.

It took me a few years to go out again, but Ive since done a lot of backpacking, including long stuff. In hindsight, it came down to poor clothing choices, and lacking the experience to know that I need to drink water even if I don't feel thirsty. Luckily my friend didnt make the same errors, or else we would have probably needed to be rescued. Whenever people ask me for advice about backpacking, I always implore them to drop the extra coin on nice socks and underwear. It matters.
>>
>>2223411
3-day raft trip down Colorado river. 25 people build wooden rafts and just easily float down the river, sleeping out under the stars at night

I was one of TWO people who thought to bring a flashlight. Along about the third day, pretty damn tired of being asked to borrow it.

Don't go camping where noobs outnumber the experienced.
>>
>>2227866
all ya'll city toddlers wouldda walk straight into that wouldn't ya'll... gheh... *spit*... *stares of in distance*... yeah... city folks al'right.
>>
>>2223420
You did better than that one anon who was in the same pickle, but he decided he'd go wade through waist deep water, start getting hypothermia.
>>
>>2231761
>My inner thighs were mincemeat from chafe
I didn't realize this until I stayed inside all last year and gained a ton of weight but this is actually a real problem people have and it explains why tighter jeans are so popular.
>>
>>2223411
Listening to people on 4chan
>>
>>2232112
Don't listen to this man
>>
>>2225586
>I replied that both sounded good, so that if we get lost we could burn the guitar so we didn't have to eat the dog raw.
LMAO
>>
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>>2230453
>Earthy crunchy ones
Laughed more at that description than at the funny prank, even though I'm not native English and don't understand it. Pretty please elaborate
>>
I took friends for a trip and one of them got super drunk. We were traveling by bike, to a campsite 70km south from home. We returned be train. We were also really poorly prepared and it started raining during the night and it stopped in the afternoon.
>>
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>>2223552
>>
>>2232469
Hippies
>>
>>2223411
I was on a camping trip for high school (4 nights) and got diarrhea just as they were doing lights out on the first night and everyone was supposed to be asleep. I waited about an hour holding the shit in so no one would hear, then slowly unzipped the tent and crept over to a nearby tree because I was barely holding on to it. I was standing over that tree shitting my guts out for at least 5 minutes before I finally went back to my tent. The next day was scorching hot and the shit smell was clearly apparent all around our tents by the time everyone was up in the morning. The camp leader thought it was a wild animal marking the tree and warned us not to clean it up because it would 'disrupt nature' too much to wipe it off the tree.

TLDR: My entire class had to eat breakfast and pack up their tents with the smell of my fresh watery shit in their nostrils, and I never got called out on it.
>>
>>2225037
Oh man that just brought back a memory I didn’t want to remember
>have to share a tent with THAT kid
>this funny looking crackbaby who’s adoptive liberal parents allowed to name himself
>he names himself “blaze”
>blaze never bathed and always smells like shit
>first night couldn’t stand the smell, so I just sleep outside
>the next night I fashion a hammock and sneak out to sleep on it for the rest of the trip
>rest of trip goes by like normal
>early morning of last day
>old grumpy dickhead “camp leader” or whatever sees me sleeping in tree
>pissed off, demanding explanations from the adults who looked the other way
>decided to call my parents and make me go home for sneaking out
>I have to pack my shit from the horrid stinktent
>notice my bag that I haven’t touched in several days is totally full
>drag it out into the light
>turns out blaze had been storing his shat-in pants, and possibly just shitting/pissing in my backpack every night for the last couple days
>he insist it’s not him, everyone believes him even though he smells like fucking shit
>since my parents have already been called and I’m crying they take me home early
>my parents still think I was just shitting my pants
>all the other kids though the same thing,
>quit scouts
I will never forget that awful smell. To this day I’m pretty sure my family thinks I created some sort of false memory to push the blame of shitting my pants, like an imaginary friend who breaks things.
>>
>>2225586
what a stuck up bitch that made me snort my coffee
>>
>>2223411

Carrying too much stuff, way too much gear. I now carry less and high quality. Many things are unnecessary or can be sourced on the spot in nature.
>>
>>2233763
fuckin CHAD
>>
I went with my buddy to meet up with some of his friends who lived far away and we all went camping. Later in the day we went swimming at a river that was under a bridge and it was recommended we all keep our shoes on because the easiest way to get out way to climb the bridge support beams.
That night I kept my sneakers too close to the fire and cooked the laces off one of them.
>>
>>2233763
>The camp leader thought it was a wild animal marking the tree and warned us not to clean it up because it would 'disrupt nature' too much to wipe it off the tree
Based retard camp leader
>>
>>2233867
I have fun memories of casual camping with buddies and watching them torch their socks after I warn them to be careful. If you glare at my closely you can barely see the shit eating grin and hear the whisper of I told ya so.
>>
>>2227866
so what the fuck is it
>>
>>2226096
Did you try turning the wheel back and forth while turning the key in the ignition, my 2001 honda CRV locks the ignition if you turn the wheel after it's parked.
>>
>>2223559
Go back. You don't belong here.
>>
>>2234682
The immigrants from /pol/ have settled here and you must accept us.
>>
>>2233944
its red alder saplings. They basically form an significant obstacle and they also excel at whipping you in the fucking nuts super hard. Go around them even if its inconvenient, they suck dick and you're gonna get caught up in them
>>
not me in particular but we were all inexperienced kids
>me and a bunch of buddies go winter camping
>one kid is my good friend but not outdoorsie but tags along anyway
>60 degree rated sleeping bag, ankle high boots, not very layered with his clothing
>we head into the woods and before we set camp we cross a stream
>friend slips getting both feet when and bottom of his backpack soaked
>''I'm fine".jpeg
>set up camp collect a ton of firewood because it's cold as shit
>It's starts getting dark and the temperature begins to drop into the teens
>get him changed and find his sleeping bag is wet
>ties to use what he can but even the most prepared of us is cold
>can see him looking visably alarmed realizing he's gunna freeze to death but doesn't want to sound like a baby in front of the guys
>"come on anon we'll sit by the fire all night and keep feeding it"
>he agrees and seems less nervous
>stay up most of the night wrapped in my sleeping bag and stoaking the fire
>nod off and wake up to my friend slapping me because some ember popped onto me from the fire
My buddy stayed up all night afraid to let the fire go out becuase he didn't have anything significant to keep him warm
>>
>>2233792
Fuck anon... Are you OK?
>>
>>2235469
A pain, but a good way to learn the lesson. At least you were smart enough to not go to sleep.

Fuck the new captcha AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
>>
first time hiking overnight I took 30kg+ in an 80L backpack on an overnighter up a steep mountain. in fairness, it was all borrowed kit and I had no idea what I needed. I couldn't fit it all in my 25L pack so I borrowed an 80L round the world backpack. In hindsight I wouldn't have taken any cooking utensils /gas cooker etc, just eaten cold stuff and shared the tent with my friend NOHOMO and shared the load of what was left amongst 2 backpacks
>>
Went to go on a fall hike/backpacking trip back in scouts when I was a kid. It was October, so I dressed for chilly fall condition. When we got to the trailhead there was small amounts of snow, and when we started hiking up the mountain and snow just starts coming down like crazy. I also had packed way too much in a huge military surplus pack. Needless to say, it was a cold and wet weekend.
>>
>>2223690
>the point of being in scouts is you have adult leaders or older kids to look out for and make sure everyones prepared
You're the reason scouting blows.
The point is for kids to experiment, make mistakes and grow into useful people. That can't happen if everything is controlled to closely.

That said, I'm sure if the kid had asked his leader for water, he would have done the right thing and let the kid drink
>>
>>2227367
Do you just put your lips up to that like a bong and inhale the food?
>>
>>2227367
>Not making chopsticks
>>
>>2223411
It doesn't matter what your pack weighs when it is already to heavy
>>
Way to heavy pack in the beginning was lesson 1.

Lesson 2, tents are slippery inside so if you set up at an even a slight incline you will slide to the bottom.

Lesson 3, caffeinated chasers at midnight will make sleep suck. Used to do this all the time for some stupid reason.
>>
>>2224743
Think of this as a chance to get some experience talking to women under your belt, will make next time easier.
>>
>>2233792
its okay to pee your bed. Try goodnites
>>
>>2223411
>Be me 17
>Take GF to lake for weekend
>Oh yea, no trees around lake, need to get firewood
>Forget
FF a few hours
>Post-lakeview blowjob, GF wants to cook dinner
>No wood, think fast anon
>PileOfPallets.jpg
>Build fire
>Food tastes like shit
>Weekend of highschool fucking turns into a night of both of us sick af
>Drive home the next day
>She goes to ER due to dehydration, I cling to life on the couch
>We cuddle all weekend in my bed, both still sick

So...apparently pallets are treated with chemicals? News to my 17yo self.
>>
>>2233867
>Hike up local mountain at night to stay at hut and snowboard the next morning.
>Get to hut wiped and cold as fuck from wind.
>Take sweaty liners out of boots and put near woodstove.
>Get woodstove cranking and check liners/boots for overheating repeatedly.
>Wake up in morning to toes of heat mold liners shrunk so much I can't get my feet in.
>Slit liners around the periphery of toes so that they all poke out.
>Ride boots like that for another year and a half because I'm poor and they were good enough.
I think it actually helped me realize I prefer a slightly softer boot. Those thing were fucking slippers by the time I got new ones.
>>
>>2225586
that's pretty funny, she sounds dull. even if she didn't like the joke, it takes a special type of person to cancel a trip over something as small as that.
>>
>>2223411
One that no one thinks of.
>Not enough socks
Seriously, socks are important, you don't want blisters and if you wear and hike in wet socks from water or sweat your gonna get them.

Because I'm an autist I always pack an extra 2 pair of socks and a pair of sleep socks.
>>
>>2223546
>passive aggressive homosexual
Wow, what a shock.
>>
>>2237305
k e k
>>
>>2224140
>Just have ever kid give you a tiny bit of their water
>They should all be taking more than they need anyways
t. EBT recipient





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