Personally I just lift off a piece of moss and shit on the exposed ground and then put the moss back on top of my cake.If I'm in the mountain and there is not vegetation or soil I just poop behind a big stone and cover it with some small rocks. In this scenario I often burn the toilet paper to avoid it blowing around in the wind.What's your way /out/?
>>1934769Look I know people here might get upset but I just don't care. I poo in the rivers. All the time. It's so fast and easy. Fish do it. Bears do it. I do it.
>>1934774As long as you don't have any parasites or are sick I don't really think this is a problem
I went once and just made a 6 inch deep hole with my hand, prayed that the leaves I grabbed weren't something itchy (I know what ivy/oak/sumac looks like but still anxious), squatted over the hole and buried it.
>>1934769The worst was the time i had to wipe my ass with pine needles. Did the job.
if you maintain a high fiber diet you could hypothetically shit in the woods without needin to wipe. havent tried it but it sounds true.
>>1934774this is bait loljust dig a hole, shit into it, cover up hole with dug up dirt
One time a was on a solo winter camping trip. I followed the cross country tracks far into the woods and then I went off track to find a secluded spot to put up my tent. Fast forward to next morning I get up probably around 8am and really need to shit hard. I put on my skis and go about 50 meters from my tent to drop my bombs. Then I start hearing people talking as I rest my bare poop dropping ass against a tree. The sounds come closer and closer. Until two people swoosh right next to me on skis. I must have skied in circles when I went off the tracks to find my camping spot because I was pretty much right next to the ski tracks lmao. They didn't see me though, but they probably would if it wasn't in a slope and they had a little speed and was focused on the track and keeping balance.
>>1934806>lol obvious joke>better warn peopleGo back or just kys
I dig a hole with a small trowel because I’m a nice person.
Another quality shit-related post on /out... somehow apt.Tell us how your ass smells, retard. That’s what we all want to know. Fucking state of /out
>>1935069Something is wrong with this guy. He's in literally every thread no matter how loosely it's related to the ass or poop. He's got a problem for real
>>1934769I dig a 6" hole with a shovel. If I'm on snow I pack it out.
>>1934769do you take your pants off to shit in the woods?im afraid of peeing or some shit not coming out right and getting it on my clothes.how do you poop when winter camping?
>>1935171Ew. How often do you empty your poop pocket? I mean the one in your bag
>>1935221>do you take your pants off to shit in the woods?no retard git gud>how do you poop when winter camping?with frozen dick&balls
the earth is my toilet. i like to shit off of high things like cliffs, trees, or bridges. some times if i cant get up high enough ill just throw my stink biscuts up in to trees.
>>1935221practice in a turkish toilet if you can find one, it's basically a ceramic hole in the ground with two feet sized raised striated platformsas for the technique, try pulling up your pants legs before crouching so they'll stay in place when you're down and your ankles are free and maybe pinch your crotch in your fist, pulling it in front of you, towards your knees and away from your butt as you're downit's all overeaction at first until you get the jist of it, but it's better to be safe than poop yourself once and live in disgust since and fear your next poop
>>1934803I ate oatmeal for lunch for a few weeks and all my poops were clean on the first wipe. It was great.
>>1934804How cool would it be if we had something attached to our bodies that could hold onto trees at arm's length?
I can't believe people bother to bring a shovel when /out/ just to dig shitholes.I literally just shit off trail and toss leaves on it until the poop is hidden.
This is going to sound incredibly immature so I'm sorry. Was hiking in Sequoia National Forest in California a few months ago, had to take a massive shit badly but the camping area and the lake near us had next to zero cover to conceal one's self. Had to hike up this hill to this tree area, probably ~quarter of a mile from where I camped. Finally, after finding a good, well away from anyone camping or fishermen, I dug my hole and squatted to get ready. Then I saw it. I saw some dumb, hippy cunt doing yoga poses on a rock just ~100 yards in front of me. I was livid. This was the only god damn spot where I could shit in peace. I wanted her to know how mad I was so I unleashed my bowels hard, creating the loudest flatulence sounding thing ever to the point she heard me and quickly got off the rock. Was absolutely awesome.
>>1934769USFS contractor here. From what I've seen most people shit on the ground, then scoop up the poo and paper in a nice green baggie designed to carry poothen they get to the parking lot at the trailhead and leave the bag of poo somewhere where it'll get run over and smeared all over the place.
>>1935221>how do you poop when winter camping?It's surprisingly hard. You can't really squat because the snow is usually too deep and you sink into it. You can keep the skis on to stay ontop of the snow though. I usually take off the skis and then find a tree, pull down my pants to the ankles like you normally would and then I lean against the tree to make a 90 degree angle. It is really tiring so you'll be done in a matter of a minute or less.
>>1935247>>1935215>>1934804If you can’t squat like a street shitting Indian or a Slav in a track suit then you’re in seriously bad physical condition.
>>1935109Yeah... I've got the problem. >arrive at board expecting outdoor related information and discussion on equipment, trails, techniques and generally interesting outdoorsy stuff >12 shit/ass related threads >including the all time classic "how do I wipe my own ass?">leaves boardYup. I'm the one with the problem, not /out
>>1935278You sure taught her a lesson, anon.
>>1935247>>1935329>Imagine being irate about a simple device to help one comfortably squat for an extended period of time, with the added bonus of a TP holder built-in.
>>1935329>wanting the chance of poop getting on your clothes ngmi
>>1935226Immediately when I'm home. It's packed securely in a way I've never had an accident. It's the responsible thing to do so even if I soiled my bag I would still keep doing it.I HATE HATE HATE seeing poop and toilet paper in the woods. It's very disrespectful.
i eat so much fiber that my shits are as hard as depleted uranium. i dont need to wipe, i just shoot it out like a bullet.
>>1935432>Imagine being so out of shape or fat that you can’t simply squat over a hole>imagine having a diet so poor you have to squat for ‘extended periods’ to simply take a shit>imagine being American
>>1935564Fibre does the opposite, Nimrod
I onced pooped innawoods and got a tick in my anus. Nevermore.
>>1935221I get completely naked when I take a shit. Like how God intended.
Don't think I've ever shit in the woods. I have an out house at my camp
>>1935636>. I have an out house at my campwtf? Is this what amerimutts call camping?
>>1935577>Imagine having >5 solid acres of unbroken forest>Imagine bragging about squatting over a hole>Imagine using the metric system>Imagine not living in North America
>>1935638>Imagine not owning a hunting shack or cabin
>>1935392>/outMaybe the problem, tourist, is that you come on a site and don't like what you see and instead of leaving and fucking off back wherever you came you instead decide to kick and scream and try to make everyone play by your rulesLurk or fuck off
>>1935431it's not like I threw it at her, it's just the fact I hiked all that way up there to find that ONE SPOT, I wasn't moving
Anyone else here shit and piss in their garden for that free fertilizer super high in nitrogen? My tomatoes, strawberries, and melons exploded in growth this year
>>1934769First off, I'm usually barefoot around camp, so I can easily take my pants all the way off. Then I get into a deep squat. Not some half assed faggot lean like OPs pic, a full ass to grass, flat footed squat. The shit just flies out easy peasy. Way better than shitting in a toilet at home. Even a massive dump that would've taken at least 6 minutes at home takes like 30 seconds. Then I find some suitable, natural TP. My pants are off so I'm free to walk around to get some. Moss is great, although a lot of times there's debris in it that clogs your ass crack. Dead leaves also have the same issue. Hobblebush leaves are great, abundant in my mountains, pretty thick, durable leaves, and grows in the understory for easy access to the woodland shitter. Usually I gotta finish with my hand and pick out all the crap stuck in my crack. Whatever, I'll wash my hand in a creek. If there's a water body big enough nearby, those are fantastic for totally cleansing your ass crack. Pretty straight forward. Don't need to worry about toilet paper (polluting), packing my shit out (gross) or any of that bullshit. And the benefit is I'm spreading the seeds of all the wild berries I've been foraging. It's literally natures intended way to shit.
>>1935839Do you have to compost it first?
>>1935069>he doesn't even smell his own shits innawoodsGET A LOAD OF THIS FAGGOT!
>>1935839I have a rose by the kitchen slider that I pee on if I'm out smoking and don't want to put my cig downit also gets bacon grease dumped in the roots from time to timehotfucker grows white blossoms the size of my head and the main trunks are big around as soda cans
>>1935826Wait, what? Are you legit retarded, or just spent too long in the ol’ basement.Lmao at you.
>>1935432lmao, my mother used to teach kids how to make these while she was a supervisor/troop leader in boy scouts while I was enrolled
Is there any scenario possibly more pathetic than someone having trouble *taking a shit* outside? That is LITERALLY like having trouble breathing.Squat, spread cheeks, shit, wipe with 1 singular decent leaf or rock because you spread your cheeks and I assume you dont have diahreaa and know where your butthole is located and how not to get poop all over yourself, Done. As it has been for the entirety of human history. I believe in you anons. Illiterate starving 3rd babies perfect this by the time they can form words.Most of this seems to be born from a fear of someone spotting you taking a dump get over it. We also learn something here: It seems that in nature fatties would literally be walking around covered in shit because they arent capable of squatting without assistance.
>>1934769>Dig hole>Shid>Wipe >Bury >Move onDon't just shit on the ground OP, that's nasty. Also wipe your ass you dirty fuck.
>>1935435You’ve never shit outside and it shows. Literally zero chance. The human body isn’t shaped that way.
>>1936327>spread cheekslmao are you americans really that fat you have to manually spread your ass cheeks? That's the weirdest thing I have ever heard
>>1935221Femanon here, I don't poop but I take panties off to pee as I don't want pee on them and its hard to spread my anlkes to avoid the streams otherwise
>>1935308>not making snow toilet to sit on
>>1936384Please piss on me. I beg you
I’ve slowly gotten better at squatting.Still bring actual paper with me. Cathole, shit, wipe, bury, end of story.
>>1934769Line the inside of your dumper with vaseline before you leave, it lets about six loads pass through it without making a mess before you have to reapply.
>>1936384Do u have kik? I bet you have nice calloused feet :3c
>>1935578What? Are you retarded? Do you own an asshole?
use a river OP. clean, fresh water only, you don’t want your butt to get all salty or dirty. the water acts like a bidet, and you dont have to mess around with digging holes
I just squat and press.But when done, I put sticks in the shit or small stones around it.To create a pirate-/medieval knight theme park.The flies are so happy about it.
>>1934769I squat in bushes and poop into a hole.
>>1935308why don't you just build a throne out of snow?
>>1934781until cholera kills you
>>1936381They’re so fat they can’t even reach their own assholes. Do t worry, eventually HFCS will be jammed into all of your food and you’ll watch everyone around you blow up like a blimp.
>>1936384I don’t follow. Can you post a picture or be a bit more descriptive?
>>1934774Indians do it
>>1934769Look at those fucking shorts
>>1934769I never bury my poop, and always just drop a rock or log on top.
>>1935633I unirocaly know a friend of mine who does this in summer time
>>1936384>post pics of pee, please
>>1937678Remember when beavis&butthead invented the "butt-scratcher-3000"?
>try not "hold it" until there is toilets>no toilets>pull down pants>let out a big brap, no shit>pull it up and don't feel like pooping again
I did a shit the size of a beer can on top of a rock in the Scottish highlands. I bet it is still there.
>>1937978can cofnrim i saw it there yesterday
>>1935283Had me in the first half, ngl.I dig a hole with a stick or a stone.
>>1935839My grampas did. My father as a child, too.
>>1934804*snap*the old snapperoo happened in Peter Jackson's WW1 documentary. A whole bunch of guys fell into the poo-pit
>>1938019that was a completely different scenario. The guys were hovering over the shit-pit from a plank which snapped after the use of probably <1000s of men
>>1934774you are disgusting and should be shot dead
>>1936384>Femanon here, I don't poop
>>1934884>Caring this much about an 18 word post>arguing with someone telling people how to correctly shit outsideYou are living trash.
Find a rock I can sit on, dig a hole to the side of it it, shit with once ass cheek on the rock hovering over the hole. Bury the shit and baby wipes, cover with dirt then a big rock so nothing digs it up
>>1938021>less than thousands of men
Walk a little off trail and poop anywhere. Wipe with a rock, leaf, or branch.
>>1934769>shit in hand>catapult shit into bushes>sometimes aim it at tree trunks
>>1938021>snapped after the use of probably <1000s of menNo, that was your mom
>>1937978Holy shit anon... strong winds! Your turd just flew over my house
>>1937616I don’t live in a 3rd world shithole, we don’t have Cholera here. Nor Beri Beri or Typhus. Nor roving bands of dark skinned gentlemen armed with machetes. Or AIDS through the roof.
>>1935577>imagine all the people
>find fallen log>pull down jorts>sit on log, ass over edge>drop growler>hear satisfying pat pat of shit falling onto the soft carpet of duff>wipe with sassafras leaves>hitch up jorts, walk offBurying scat is what prey animals do
>>1934925What if the ground is too hard to dig? That happened to me on a few occasions.
>>1938865Just stomp and smear it around so it is not recognizable as a big american shart anymore
>>1938521With an ass that big do you even need to take off the pants? I mean can't you just let the turds sit between the ass cheeks and remove it when you come home? One would think the cheeks creates an airtight seal so no foul smell seeps through
>>1934769put something in the floorlift out the floorpoop in floorburn paper on poopplant a flowerreplace floor
>>1938865Then at least you still tried. It’s more of a problem when you try to dig a hole past the duff with just a stick.
>DIG A HOLE>DIG A HOLE>DIG A HOLEWhat is up with people digging holes? Like do you always carry a poop shovel or what?
>>1939711Yes.Are you ok with seeing piles of human shit when you’re /out/?
>>1939711>Like do you always carry a poop shovel or what?I don't. It's really easy to dig a suitable hole with any stick you find lying around.
>>1935706that baby has an awfully small hole to poop in.
>>1935278Ok, this is epic.
>>1938010you think that wasn't accurate? it's 100% true.if you pay attention to the shit bags you can tell fairly easily where the point is that most normies turn around and go back to the car.
>>1939645everybody walk the dinosaur
>>1936381Fat anon here. Yes I have to do this. Otherwise poop gets all over your ass cheeks and its a bitch to clean up.
>>1935069why do you type like a faggot
>>1939711people were showing off their poo shovels in the gear thread
>>1939711Indian fingers typed this post.
>>1934769Is this a german thread?
>>1942473There's no transparent tables here.
Never change, /out/>>1934804This pic always gets me laughing>>1938865>What if the ground is too hard to dig?Pic related, that's not "rocks", it's "hard soil">>1935564>uraniumI've pooped on uranium ore before, it has a distinct yellow color
>>1942470What a horrible, homely race...
>>1934769Dig a 6” hole, then go ass to grass, and shit. Only need one good shit a day that way.
>>1934769I have been using moss lately. I used to cut a roll of paper towels in half but it doesn't last long
>>1942361>shoving that in your ass crack>holes everywhere so the shit gets all over the place
>>1935278Of all the things that never happened, this happened the leastDoes your dad work at Nintendo, too, anon?
Like everyone, with my ass..
>>1934769the best way to poop in nature is to just lay down some logs in the middle of a ski run; lay in wait, from afar ye shall observe the smear
I don't poop or pee outside. I know a lot of people do but I just find it disrespectful to Mother Nature. I just take 1-2 Immodium an hour before starting out, and another at the halfway point if it's going to be longer than a few hours to stop the poo. As for pee, I generally just hike/camp in areas with toilet facilities, or run a simple catheter to a bag tucked into my boot.
>>1935221I have never fully taken my pants off to shirt no matter where I was. I’m not a 4 year old.>>1936384Buy a “she pee” or equivalent you stupid bitch.
ITT: selfish fucksJust shit into the campfire and burn away your disgusting waste like your supposed to.Have none of you heard of leave no trace. It’s only the first rule of camping you disgusting fucks.
>>1934774Aren't you not supposed to drink from rivers anyways? There could be a rotting animal carcus half a mile upstream and you'd never know it.
>>1935578Nimrod is a compliment around these parts, you absolute faggot.
>>1944059>You must consoom so you can peepoo like a manThe absolute state of consoomer. Just fucking kys
>>1944078If it were up to me women wouldn’t be allowed outdoors at all. But if they must they should pee like a man, with the assistance of a 3 dollar funnel.
poo poo caca