Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: Horse language!ITT: The madness of numerology, Basketball bots, Charmless Bleedin', Lapses into schizophrenia fueling creativity, Essential elements for morose horror, Anon keeps crossing timelines, Superior and not oversimplified education systems, Twilight the conspiracy theorist, A box of soap, Porn writing tips, Boring yourself before you can begin your first draft, Stop bashing plebs, Not an idiot- just lazy, Equestria makes no fucking sense, Thinking incapability, A ratings hit in exchange for artistic vision, /fimfic/ gets balkanized, Applechads never lose, A very masculine Dash, The 1k upvote barrier, Sufferkino, Barbiefiction, TCB ruined Celestia, Opinions on ponies eating meat, It all returns to the bookclub, CMC adventures, and alts upon alts upon alts!>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThe fifty-first book is 'The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon':>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/247031If (You) want to participate, read up to (and also) the chapter 'The Socialite who Schemes' by the 26th.On Sunday we'll discuss what we've read.>Recommended stories:Tired of authors forgetting that brevity is key? Fed up with 10k inner monologue chapters? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:https://ponepaste.org/7317>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:http://www.mlpficreviews.org.ukUse the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:https://eznguide.neocities.org/>Can you pre-read my story?Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.>Additional material for authors:Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/Hey lookie here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJXSxXFirf8Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4fSetting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0Taking criticism - https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA>Various reviews and riffs:Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmomIHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakuraAppleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPmDeluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeUA Guide to Rational Fics - https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2023/2/3/3039240.jpgThe Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/top16/Previous Thread: >>40533457
You're not first.I fucked the waifu of the second, third and fourth poster.HIE BEST GENRE, MAKING IRRELEVANT WRITERLETS SEETHE SINCE 2011.TUNA is shit.
First for best duo!
Third for best duo too!
Third for best duo!>>40554313Haha.
And 2+2th for best duo!
>>40554312I don't know if this post really pissed off the tunafag or if the tunafag wants Luna to get fucked by a human, maybe even while Twilight watches.Anyways, time to go beat off to Chrysalis.
>>40554312You sound distressed.
I have been reading H A Z E and while trying to figure out why I put the fic on my RIL, it seems that it was due to it being in an Equestria-adjacent, but otherwise mostly original setting.It's not a great story, it does very little to leverage the fact that its characters are ponies and often seems like a generic, grim fantasy adventure with political intrigue. Sometimes, I'm even surprised when characters do pony-like things.There are other fics that do this well, though. ITCON comes to mind: it's set entirely outside Equestria with an all-OC cast. GTG and sequel are close enough, despite leaning on Twilight.In contrast, Stick-Bug is functionally set outside Equestria, but runs heavily on canon characters, while In Sheep's Clothing is set in Equestria, but with an OC cast.I wonder what other fics are similar to H A Z E, GTG and ITCON in that fashion. It's quite a lot of work to do. Basically, ponies in an alien world with magic but without the princesses and their accompanying stability.
>>40554309So FoE is not important?
>>40554389You're finally getting it.
>>40554383Oh, I remembered Mortal Coil, since its main character is about as similar to Rarity as Gilda in GTG is to her namesake. It would be another failure example, though.
Posting for Electric Wizard and fics that have wizards in them
>>40554462I want to read about Sunburst's asshole.
I'm trying to come up with a name for the colt scouts, but has more originality. Perhaps for Canterlot specifically.Any ideas?
>>40554540If you want to play it off as them emulating certain aspects of the Royal Guard, you could name then Canterlot's Colt Chevaliers.
>>40554540https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-aligned_Scouting_and_Scout-like_organisationsIf they are colt scouts, you should probably just call them colt scouts.Otherwise, as >>40554552 implied, if they are some kind of JROTC organization, that is not Boy Scouts.
>>40554569I like this.
>>40553741Your opening is too slow. You can get away with frilly purple prose either when it advances your story or when your readers are invested enough to put up with a little boring stuff. (The opening of Tuck Everlasting is a good example of the former.) I know you want to establish the setting and that I complained that your earlier drafts didn’t do a good job of that; but right now, you have the scenic equivalent of an infodump, and it works just as well.A lot of the rest has improved, though! But: “taut,” not “taught;” and only dumbasses try for headshots. Normal people aim for the torso (“center of mass”). It sounds like the MC is supposed to be a really good shot; maybe you can slip in an Annie Oakley allusion?The second half suffers from the same problem as your earliest draft of the first half: You drop us into an action scene and never explain the setting. I’m not even sure what species the new narrator and the monster are. (Griffon and manticore?) So I like the action but not the scene.Again, I recommend weaving the setting into the fight. This time it sounds like there isn’t a huge amount of backstory, so you don’t need long flashbacks. But the same trick works: When something happens, fill in details about the setting.I don’t really like the ending. Having her go back and then stand in place until she’s eaten seems dumb even for a little kid. If she has enough sense to run, then I think she’ll either have the sense to stay away or to run a second time. It sounds like this is a family of hunters, too, so she’d recognize that her parents are being eaten and know what that means. If she needs to die, it’s more intense if she’s resisting.
>>40554552Might use this. It's for the current chapter of Gilded Sister where I want a colt Blueblood to be in such an organization.
22nd for best sisters!
I FUCKING LOVE LYRA! I AM GOING TO MARRY HER AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
>>40555022Can I be invited to the wedding?
>>40555022She's already married, Anon.
Oh god I just realised Onyx is G5's Zecora. The rhyming isn't as binding but it's certainly expected.
Fics for coping with the wait time where a friend went into surgery and you haven't heard back from them yet?
>>40555041>OnyxZecora wasn't black enough for future Equestria, huh?
>>40555047Oh god, filly's done it hasn't he?
>>40555060Indeed, he's finally getting his snowpity transplant.
>>40554462I don't know but I wish I could write a fic with the same vibes as a doom metal album.
Somebody write a good G5 fic already or I'll have to do it myself.
>>40555280The Villainous Trio being found in the future and being released could be good.
>>40555280Make Sprout the main character
>>40555241You could make a sword and sorcery fic
>>40554402What makes you think so?
Soo should I read haze?
>>40555460No, the parts of it which aren't generic are instead mostly bad and grimderp.
You know what I find it funny? Lunafag never read Mandark's story.
>>40554587Working on removing flower poetry. It is a little hard, I think it will swing back to esl unga speak if I start trying to dumb down.The mc is a man. I do not know if I fucked up this hard for that to be mistaken or what lol. I say he can hit the headshots, because he's that good. It's true!The second part is still the MC, but reincarnated as a Griffon fledgling, without acces to his memories until a bit after the 2nd part. Within the same 'chapter' of course not trying to annoy the reader with that sort of thing.I keep removing character emotion for some reason idk, like Im tickin off a check box till I can get to the good parts. Leads to stupid interaction like that. But the MC does not die there, just has his chicken wings munched as a dessert.Here is a version where I try cutting down on prose in the start and a bit in 2nd half, going to expand more on second part setting and emotion after.Thank you for the advice again!https://quicknote.io/be251170-8822-11ee-a172-9110c8ff019a
>>40555460I read a good chunk of it a while back, but never finished it. I didn't so much drop it as just forgot to keep going, which I guess tells you how invested I was in the fic. IIRC the MC mostly stumbles from place to place rather than working toward any kind of overarching goal, which I generally find uninteresting, and there's no connection to canon places or characters to fall back on.
>>40555721Another quick turnaround! Impressive.I think you have a pretty good balance of description and action at the start of the story now.The flashbacks and the jumps back to the present sometimes feel a little abrupt. They happen frequently and suddenly, so I feel like it sometimes takes a little effort to figure out what's going on.You barely describe the monster. Here is everything you say about it: "big yellow eye," "sharp talons," a "face," "colossal legs," "flesh-claws" (wtf are those?), a scream "like a goat's bleat," "pitch-black horns," "jagged teeth," "a black tongue," and "teeth." Notice what's not there? What shape it is. You don't tell us how tall or long it is, whether it walks on four legs or two, has arms or wings (maybe you hint at this but if so I missed it), that sort of thing. I don't know whether it has fur or feathers or neither, nor what color its body is. You've given many specific details but nothing general, so it's hard to form an overall picture of the monster.Upon a second reading, my opinion of the kid's intelligence has gotten lower. Does he want to be eaten?>mc is a manEven in the griffon section? You don't give any clues one way or the other. Somehow the narrator felt feminine though.>any man would have missed them."Any other man." Otherwise the next sentence doesn't make sense.>it's big yellow eyeits
I don't care anymore.people can call me a faggot all they want, for all I give a damn.I LOVE writing self-inserts. I LOVE writing different scenarios of "what if I was raised from infancy by (X pony), or by (Y pony). and I LOVE indulging my fantasies of wacky adventures that I would go on with new pony frens.I've been dreaming of these stories for years, and I'm tired of being too pussy to not talk about it on the board and general SPECIFICALLY CURATED for EXACTLY THAT.Self-inserts rock, dude. and the more you try to mask your self-inserts as just some Gary Stu "Anon," the more miserable you shall become.
>>40555894Are you dumb? Anon IS the self insert.
>>40555397That's what I'm doing.
>>40553675Because he has shit taste and wants his waifu to have skin cancer, broken hooves, and unkempt body hair.
>>40556184Well I like my waifu with bruises and broken limbs so who am I to judge?
>>40555894I cannot think or comprehend anything more cucked than writing about other characters in Fimfictions. Honestly, think about it rationally. You're spending hours, days, maybe even years crafting stories and scenarios for these fictional characters, pouring your heart and soul into their adventures and relationships. And for what? So that they can have all the fun and experiences in their world while you just watch from the sidelines? All the creativity and imagination you put into these characters, and yet, you could have been the protagonist of your own epic tale in the magical land of Equestria.
>>40536542>>405365650. I'm an American and I understood the blogs to be retarded.1. 4chan is an American anime-fan website. Don't forget that.2. Education in America is largely held down by non-whites, which is arguably due to socioeconomic factors, or race, or both. While there are certainly superior education systems (also note the roles society and culture play; also, what works for one country may not work for another) in other nations, if you weren't a normalfag and were attentive, you'd realize that many things that are or are not taught are not necessarily useful or may be important to know. An example is how Medieval European society is taught in most schools throughout the West, how it is fraught with inaccuracies, and how these lies make their way into media, from Hollywood to bandes dessinées. Following this, education does not make someone stupid or smart; do you really think White Americans are going to be much different from White Europeans? Stupid.3. While groups of people do tend to behave similarly, it is more so the case for the average-minded than the outliers. Unsurprisingly, normalfags tend to assert that whole nations are the same, because normalfags are too average-minded to see past their own little worlds; a real Anon understands he is different, and understands that most people are of a certain type, but that there are a handful of more unique individuals. Following this, whining about a population of millions of people in regard to a few instances is very stupid, and says a lot more about the whiner than anything else.4. Go back.
>>40555894Why the fuck would anyone read it, you attention-whore? That's certainly the reason why "Anon" became so common in MLP fanworks outside of 4chan, besides users here uploading elsewhere of course.>>>/livejournal/
>>40556219>Education in America is largely held down byThe retarded no kid left behind rhetoric.>An example is how Medieval European society is taught in most schools throughout the West, how it is fraught with inaccuraciesSuch as?
>hours of preparation to ensure they would never be caught looking in a mirrorIs this an idiomatic expression in English? Have (You) ever heard it? Not the general idea, but this specific phrasing in this order.I don't think so, but I'd like to confirm before I make an uncultured ass out of myself by posting one of the more unlikely guesses in the thread's recent history.
>>40556238>Is this an idiomatic expression in English? Have (You) ever heard it? Not the general idea, but this specific phrasing in this order.Nope
>>40556238I've heard something in the same vein to the effect of 'You keep catching yourself in the mirror' or 'Catching your own eyes in the mirror' though it's more to do with narcissism and wanting to preen all the time.
>>40556222> implying I'm doing literally ANY of this for the likes of (You)I write because I enjoy what I write. I would only post because maybe somebody else would like it to. it would be a nice thing, no doubt; but it's FAR from my main prerogative.the reason Anon is so popular is because he's universal. he's a blank slate that everybody knows how to use. functionally identical to Pokemon protagonists, who are "silent" so that players can imagine their own dialogue instead.the only difference is that pokemon isn't about the story, &' has gameplay to disguise its usually awful characters. whereas in fimfics, the story is literally the ONLY thing there.by choosing Anon, you are willingly choosing the objectively inferior option. and if you prefer Anon over real, named characters, then that means you're an NPC, because you're sympathizing with a character literally designed to be an NPC.
>>40556244>preenI liked what StP did with that.
>>40556341Dunno what that is, but preening as a term for grooming oneself can be used outside of what I'm guessing is a pegasus focused fic.
>>40556266>&' has gameplay to disguise its usually awful characters.The new ones have good writing to disguise the awful gameplay. Also Gen5 has an actual good story too.
>>40556344>preening is a term for groomingYeah Rainbow is definitely fiddling Scootaloo.
>>40556352>The new ones have good writing to disguise the awful gameplay.Lmao
>inb4 bookclub spoilersThere are none, and it's only tangentially related.>>40556241>>40556244That was a quote from TWOLOT. I have seen something like it exactly once, in a 2009-2023 (and going) game Fallen London, set in fantasy Victorian England, picrel. Much like in TWOLOT, it describes something excessive you can do to impress the high society types slightly better than the more reasonable alternatives. I adore that game for its writing, and I think a certain writer might have also read it. If you're not familiar with the setting, it's close-ish to Perdido Street Station.But TWOLOT has more in common with FL in its themes than any Victorian or steampunk stories I've read. Though it's only at best an influence, you can get a sense that the authors used similar writing ideas, far more than just the setting would imply. That could also be just a coincidence, but I'm not so sure about it. And as another funny coincidence, the most important and most recognizable characters in that setting, the Masters of the Bazaar, are all going by names such as Mr. Mirrors, Mr. Chimes, Mr. Pages etc., with the Mr. being their name and not really a honorific.
>>40556356And Twilight is diddling the entire town's foals.
>>40556362GIWTWM>>40556359I'm honestly fucking terrified this thread will discover my original fiction at some point.
>>40556374I've no fear on that front, I stopped writing teenage fiction (I think) about two difference usernames and 15 years into the past.
>>40556362Anyone knows the name of the filly with braids?
What are some ideas worth taking from here?https://www.fimfiction.net/story/537057/twilights-felquines-of-xenon
>>40556407>BoysenberryAh, I thought that name sounded familiar
>>40556359Impressive, but you could simply ask him about it.
what are good fics about ponies?
>>40556680Sorry buddy, we're all out
>>40556223Nta but The fact that you can’t think of any examples yourself really proves his point.
>>40554309Did we end up picking up a story for the next bookclub
>>40556813It's in the OP>>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThey're usually picked a week before, so this was chosen a week ago (and the next one will be decided on TWOLOT's week 2)
>>40556407that's amazing, I thought I saw grapes the moment i opened the pic because of her hair
>>40556219Is this a pasta?
>>40556374It's not all that bad when it happens. /g/ once found some shit I published under my real name.
>>40556854Some nice technical articles?
>>40556772>The fact that you can’t think of any examples yourself really proves his pointIt really doesn't. My education was good and I don't watch media.
>>40556862Indeed. Very autistic.
>>40556899If your education was good that just proves his point more strongly! >>40556854Posts like these remind me that despite the explosion in users the internet really is still a small interconnected place under the surface if you know where to look. It’s like the Structure and expansion of the universe. In the old web it was a lot more chaotic, yet dense and interconnected. But slowly fragmented apart over time. The modern normie web is all the intergalactic void that formed, and the og web is the galactic filaments string out throughout the cosmos. and can still be experienced if you know where to go.
>>40556359Man I love fallen london, I also like the games Sunless skies, Sunless seas, and cultist simulator, all made by the same guy
>>40557122Same, Alexis Kennedy is great.>Sunless skiesHe only had limited input on Skies, it was being written around the time he got kicked out of his own company for being a dick to everyone. Unfortunate, FBG isn't the same without him. And while Skies has arguably the best gameplay, I find it less narratively impressive and less atmospheric than their previous games.At least it got him to work on his own projects again. He published a new game like two months ago (Book of Hours), but I haven't played it yet.
>>40557154The guy should really write a book, he's a great writer and storyteller, imo he really understands h.p. lovecraft's whole writing style or at least concepts he made
We always complain that nowadays only Anonslop/HiE/Isekai makes it, but then something like this pops up, and I wonder how it exploded.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/541083/the-spirit-of-magicIt's unlikely it will reach 1k upvotes ever, but 350 votes in 3 days is still impressive.Also, that ratio.
>>40556219Didn't read + have sex pro-tip: you can't
>>40556223Nta but the idea that people had a lot more free time to pursue hobbies before muh capitalism.nah bro, you worked day in day out all year, it wasn't always on the fields but you were always working.
>>40557193I'm more impressed by the >MLP: Comictag, myself.
I keep getting these tough little pimples on my thighs that fill up with blood what do
>>40557479Pop them and then disinfect them.
>>40557479Wear tight-fitting sweatpants all the time so they rub against the pimples and get rid of them faster
>>40557193>only Anonslop/HiE/Isekai makes itAnthro/Porn/Eqg are also unacceptable tags. This fic sadly has EqG.
>>40557285>the idea that people had a lot more free time to pursue hobbies before muh capitalismAmerican education really teaches this?
>>40555868Trying something a little different this time. I call it "starting from the start"Scrapped the second part entirely and switch up the style and format a bit. Trying real hard to avoid clogging up with slow prose https://quicknote.io/ca2983f0-88c4-11ee-b32d-41dd3b805420
>>40556184There's no problem with wanting Luna to look even prettier, cuter and more fantastic. That's just called having good taste.Also, it's weird to say he waifus her, considering he ships Tuna as hard as I do. Pretty much makes the word meaningless.
>>40558112Holy reading comprehension anon
>>40557193>I wonder how it explodedMy guess would be that it appeals to those same Isekai fans? The description is very unimpressive, and makes it look like one of the "let's explore how the world reacts to my cool godlike OC :)" stories, the difference being it's Twilight instead of an actual OC.
>>40557193how much are you guys willing to bet that this story is never going to get finished, and how long it has before it gets dropped by the author? The subconscious pattern seeking part of my brain is saying there’s a lot of red flags here. And it’s also saying this fic’s got 2 or 3 chapters left before it gets dropped off of the face of the earth.
>>40557479I have this bump on my nutsack that’s probably a really ingrown hair and it’s so old there has been significant skin regrowth over it so I can’t rid of it without really snipping at the skin there and blessing all over the place.
>>40558300No way is it getting finished, but it's impossible to predict how long it'll take before the last chapter is published.
>>40558300And that's why it's a wonder it gets so much attention. Don't people realize at this point it's one of those "cool idea that gets explored for a few chapters before the author realizes he has nothing else besides the base idea, because he didn't pre-plan his story" stories? I don't even bother with it, because I know if I somehow liked it, I'd surely get blueballed sooner or later (more like sooner).
>>40557479Wash your thighs with soap and a washcloth every day. (The washcloth is important. It helps you clean more deeply.) After you're dry, moisturize. Do this for four weeks and you should see improvement.
>>40557193>EqG>IDWI think I'd rather have AiE, to be honest.>>40558300It might finish. Looks to be a new author and that feature high can be enough to propel you along for a few months.
non-futa marecock fics
>>40555894Self-insers are only good if they're specifically designed for the reader to easily insert themselves.
>>40558137There must be something to being a flagfagging moontist that slowly deteriorates your brain.
>>40558089The first half seems to have stabilized, so I may as well point out some grammatical things. You have a bunch of comma splices, including (but not limited to):>You grew up dirt poor, your father cut his losses and abandoned your mother years ago.>You were introduced to hard labor, moving earth and stacking hay were the only options open for a greenhorn like you.>A powerful crack shatters the morning air, Henry twitches like a stuck pig, and slumps to the earth.>It almost surprises you that the shot killed him, you were sure he didn't have nothing under his hat but hair all these years.>You reposition behind a sturdy oak tree, your sights lying upon a dirty mop of blonde hair.In all of these, the first comma should be a period, or it should be followed by a conjunction like, "and." There should be no comma in:>You hopped a train, and left it all in the dirt.because the second clause has no subject. And in this sentence:>For years, you assumed that only you were left to live, a mistake that had cost you everything.you have a comma splice to a clause with no subject. I would replace the comma with a period and write, "It was a mistake ..."Your new second half takes over 400 words before it mentions Gilda's name, and until then, there's no way to know you're talking about griffons. You have a surprising tendency to leave out vital information like this.I think your new second half is weaker than your old second half. Your old second half had the benefit of being a life-or-death scenario. This new second half probably serves your overall story better, but to be compelling, you have to ratchet up the emotional content. I think it would be good to expand on Gilda and the MC's relationship. I'm not really interested in the actions that have happened before as much as I am the emotional stuff. For instance, I liked>Last race, you threw to be nice, and she didn't speak to you for almost three whole days.but I feel like it should come earlier and should get more detail. And I get the impression that Gilda and the MC like each other but are maybe not so sure they want to admit they like each other. I'd really like to see some discussion of their feelings, especially if those feelings are confused.There's one other thing that bothers me about the new second half, and it's important: It seems completely disconnected from the first half. There's no clue, no hint, nothing, that tells us that these two halves have anything to do with each other. It looks like one or the other is out of place. This sort of thing is forgivable, I think, if you put the first half into a prologue, because people have different expectations for something labeled as a prologue. But as two halves of a single chapter, I don't think it's a good idea.
>>40558137There can be nothing holy about reading comprehension. Reading, as well as any other form of using language, is an act of communing with demons. You're either doing it carefully, which is to say, deliberately ignore, twist and mock not less than a random half of all meanings they are whispering to your ear, or you're losing your soul. And don't even make me start on cryptography. SSL is an anthem to Satan, that's why Google enforced its use.
>>40558839If I'm talking with demons then why am I so lonely?
>>40558807How does that work?
>>40558940I don't know, but I bet it's just as degenerate.
Deer in the hornlight
>>40558958Of course, how silly of me.Canonically, sex change spells are not possible, even with powerful artifacts boosting a unicorn caster.What sort of magic do you think would actually make it possible? Chaos is the obvious. Changeling powers are shown to be of a different nature, so that's a possibility.>>40558943I would be disappointed if it weren't.
>>40558973Not sex change, just replacing a vagina with a cock.
>>40558940A mare that's adept at magic turns her clitoris into a horsecock shaped protrusion akin to a pseudopenis as found on female hyenas. It can't ejaculate though, so it's effectively just a magical strapon.
There is only Stallions and Mares in Equestria, no troons
>>40559013Thanks to transition spells!
>>40559036Your definition seems incredibly arbitrary.
Speaking of males, is the fic "Sensation" any good? I'm already a faggot but I have to know if it's faggotry worth my time
>>40559110isn't this the one that got donated to a school library?
>>40559181>committed suicide because evidently even prepubescent transition and spending much longer on estrogen than on testosterone doesn't change your sex and turn you into a happy female.Don't you think that maybe it was because their father, who forcibly experimented on them, likely wasn't a great person to be around their entire lives?
>>40559237I NEVER want to hear any of you faggots complain about names being too "on the nose" ever again.
>>40559240He's just a discount Johnny Cash.
>>40559240Just like Bankman Fried that lost all those billions, you have to wonder if Hideo Kojima didn't write certain parts of life."Ah yes, this man shall be called Bankman Fried because he works with money and he will burn everything.""Ah yes, this one shall be Die-Hardman, because he is extremely resistant to dying."
>>40559243"Burny Made-off" ran one of the biggest financial scams in history.
>>40559240>>40559243It's called nominative determinism.https://www.reddit.com/r/NominativeDeterminism/top/?t=all
>>40559250>Linking to/using plebbit
>>40559253I stopped seething about leddit about 10 years ago when I realised it's perfect for niche hobbies and hyper-specific things like the example above.
>>40559255Good for you, I'm not touching it.It's like cooties, but for basedfaggotry.
>>40559257Good for you, I couldn't care less what you do or think.
>>40559258Ah, a terminal case of faggotry, my condolences to your family, anon.
>link relevant page with funny examples of a neat concept in case anyone's interested>resident attention whore butts in to explain why he's super special for not clicking a link
>>40559250Go to back where you came from
>>40559282>a fictional world built on the idea of idealized reality has an influence on the real worldBorges was playing the long game, Tlön was Equestria all along.
>>40554309He actually did it, the absolute madman, the absolute madhorse.https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/39403069/#39404812
>>40559110Why are stallion x stallion fics a thousand times better than mare x mare fics?
>>40559451>talking about yourself in third personIt's not even the first time. You should kill yourself.
>>40559481Idk, maybe I'm biased because I'm a fag but it seems like there is just better written personality and chemistry when it comes to stallion x stallion fics
>>40559497>maybe I'm biased because I'm a fagYou think?
>>40559501They're just better, I don't know what to say
>>40559501Nah, he's just correct.
>>40559529>>40559537You should try not being gay.
>>40559545You should try reading good shipfics for a change.
Well, this thread got gross.
>>40558835I know the second half is slower and weaker, but don't you feel the reader after the first part, or maybe prologue now, will want to get to know the mc a little better personality and history wise before being dropped into action again? Like how did they get in that forest, what is the monster, what is the context? The second half wasn't really scrapped, just moved up a bit so I can show what happens naturally without using flashbacks again.Going to ratchet up the oooey gooey feelings stuff, fix grammar, and add that vital info.
>>40559559This thread just got started?
>>40559483Yeah (You) should kill yourself, Anon. Maybe you'll revive as a better person who's not such a seething dork obsessed with popularity.
So, how's that writing going?
>>405602421300 words today and counting.
>>40560242I'm just getting to the beginning of the harem tournament arc
>>40560242I have learned that no fic's proofreading will ever be as painful as the process of fixing the mistakes in your dissertation. I'm not sure how it works in other countries (though I'm almost certain it's similarly asinine), but here they're extremely anal about both content and typesetting. Someone I know got her thesis rejected because she accidentally used a 14.5pt font instead of 14pt.On the other hand, in a stress-fueled bid to get most of the content done and good by the end of last week, I managed to write ~40 pages of mostly good content and salvage ~20 shitty, but saveable ones. Which, considering it's technical writing, I'm fairly happy with.As for fic stuff, still sadly not a word since, but at least stuff is taking shape in my head, even if said shape is lumpy and indistinct at the moment.
>>40560242Slowly getting back into it, have the latter half of my fic to fix up on but I started uploading to give me a push.
>>40560242I'm about to finish my first commission. I don't even have a thousand words to go.
>>40560242Not a word in over a month, and I'm unlikely to jump back in before the end of the year. It's truly over.
>>40559282I'm sure it's a bit of both.
>>40559451Yeah I'm already out by the second sentence. Learn grammar, manchildark
>>40559589Like clockwork then.
>>40560242Writing a prologue for my longfic. Now that I've finished the bulk of the fic, I realized the first chapter might just not engage readers well enough, so this will be an action packed, in medias res style chapter. Will also serve as character vignettes, showing the state of the two protags before any of the main story would start. Hope it'll work out.
>>40558835Take this! That mushy enough for ya? https://quicknote.io/fa9d77a0-898a-11ee-b2fc-7da841cc57c9
>>40560285There should be a LaTeX template for your university. Not an official one, but one passed down from graduate student to graduate student, like an ugly family heirloom that nobody wants but nobody will throw out. You may have to ask around. But it’s better than doing it yourself, because those fuckers in the administration will print your thesis, take a ruler, and measure it to see if they can find some piddling pointless rule they can use to reject your thesis. Trust me, I’ve been there.
>>40560810>hand-me-down latexMake sure to boil it in bleach.
>>40560810Can confirm, my Uni has one of those too.
Well it looks like after I'm done with my contest entry my next story will be a TFH meta copefic.
(1/2)>>40559561>second halfI agree, but I thought the first draft of the Gilda scenes was bland, not compelling. However, they do make for a better lead-in to a longer story, so I'm glad you have them.>>40560746This is better, and I'm starting to like it.But there are a lot of short paragraphs.They have one or two sentences each.They make your prose sound choppy.They could be a stylistic choice.I don't think that choice suits these scenes.Anyway! This draft is better at telling the reader that there are griffons involved because it mentions Gilda early. But it never actually says "griffon" anywhere. The reader either has to remember that Gilda is a griffon (reasonable, since this is fanfiction) or infer it from the context (hard). But I think you could easily insert something like, "The other griffon spread her wings."I'd say the level of romance is now 6/10. I don't think you're aiming for 10/10 (that's Nicholas Sparks–tier). I think it's right for what you're doing.
>>40561236(2/2)>'Didn't want to have to use this...'>"I'll play it, my Pa's guitar!"You can do better than this.The MC is not a redpilled pickup artist considering the moves he wants to put on Gilda. He's not going to think, "Didn't want to have to use this," because that's way too rational. No, he's scared. He can see that she's angry at him, really angry, and that scares him because he wants her to like him. He's watching her walk away, so furious that she can't even talk, and this time it might be for good. This might be the end. They'll never race or play or even speak ever again, and that's terrifying because he wants her to be his friend.He's looking for anything that could bring her back to him, and he hits upon the guitar. If the character is pretty good with words, he might say,>"I'll play my Pa's guitar!"but if he's more average, he might be so worked up that he only manages to say>"I'll play it!"without saying what "it" is. The latter is better at building tension: Gilda stops. Without turning around, she says, "Play what?" but she already knows. His knees are shaking. He says, "My Pa's guitar." Pa doesn't let anyone touch his guitar.Speaking of which. You don't explain why playing Pa's guitar is a big deal. I'm assuming that it's against the rules, but there are other possibilities.If that assumption is correct, then this scene is a big deal. Gilda and the MC are taking their relationship to a new level. Now they're not just friends; they're conspirators. He is now a Bad Boy, and she's a Bad Girl, and they're Breaking The Rules. Together. It takes some trust to do that. When the MC offers to play Pa's guitar, he's not asking, "Would you like a romantic serenade?" He's saying, "I'll break the rules for you!" It's like the action movie cliche that a good and upstanding guy will turn into a lawless vigilante the moment you threaten his family: "I love them so much I'll break my own rules for them." When Gilda accepts, she's saying, "I'll break the rules for you, too." The scene by the creek isn't just a victory dance; it's also their first date. It's an awkward first date that they're not ready for, but it's still a date.There's one spot where I'd like you to turn up the romance to around 9/10, and that's between>"Awesome."and>A frog croaks, abruptly breaking the awkward silence.This is the moment when they gaze deeply into each others eyes. When his talons entwine with hers. When their hearts throb with desire. When Gilda's futa cock gets as erect as the MC's.This is the moment when it gets too intense for Gilda. That intensity is why she flees. To make the most out of this scene, you have to portray that intensity. You've made a start, but you can push it further.>Well, in exception to flying."Well, except flying" or "Well, except for flying."
>>40561241Alright, so make it cringe. Turn up the cringe to 11. Making it cringe right now. Watch this, 1 hour flat, be there or be square.
>>40561400>I’m a science guyYou're actually just a nigger
>>40561444I gotta say, some of you guys are being way too harsh on that fic.I know we've got a reputation for being critical, but I think this one deserves some credit.The author really took the time to develop the mane six's personalities beyond their usual tropes. Like, Pinkie Pie has some legit depth for once instead of just being "lol so random" all the time. And Twilight's struggles with self-doubt feel really believable.Plus, the plot itself has some real adventure to it! Actual stakes, some tense action scenes... it's not just silly slice-of-life stuff or shipping like so many fics. The quest structure gives it a sense of forward momentum.Are there some cheesy or cringey parts? Sure, a couple. But every fic has those. On the whole this is some of the most engaging MLP writing I've seen from the fandom in a long time. It really captures the spirit of the show.So maybe lay off the hate-train for once and give credit where it's due. This fic deserves better than the dumping you guys are giving it. Just my two bits.
>>40561452Wow, you really drank the Kool-Aid, huh? This fic is garbage and you know it. You're just trying to defend it because you're a fanboy/girl of the author or something.The mane six's personalities are not developed, they're butchered. Pinkie Pie is depressed, not deep, and Twilight is whiny, not self-doubting. The rest are just cardboard cutouts of their canon selves.The plot is a mess. There's no logic or consistency to anything that happens. The stakes are nonexistent because nothing matters in this fic. The quest is just an excuse to drag the characters from one contrived situation to another. The action scenes are boring and repetitive, and the romance is cringey and unrealistic. Silly slice-of-life or shipping would be better than this garbage.The writing is atrocious. Awful grammar and spelling, stilted and unnatural dialog, and descriptions that are somehow bland and purple at the same time.This fic does not capture the spirit of the show at all. It's a mockery of everything that makes MLP great and an insult to the fandom and the creators. Get off your high horse and admit that this fic sucks. It deserves nothing but the hate it gets.
I'm Anonymous, and I endorse the last two posts.
>>40561241Boom, cringe. Look at that, don't you just want to curl into yourself and disappear?https://quicknote.io/9227c9e0-89ae-11ee-b4be-e9dc8e1d22fe
>>40558835>>For years, you assumed that only you were left to live, a mistake that had cost you everything.>you have a comma splice to a clause with no subject. I would replace the comma with a period and write, "It was a mistake ..."As an EFL scrub, the original sounds fine to me
>>40560284>the harem tournament arcThe what now?
>>40561452>>40561456Now feed it to various LLMs and let's watch the poor AI struggle to understand a 4th dimensional fic that tries to explain an entire culture inside it from anthems, poems, a new language, certain musical tastes that conveniently are linked to existing music as examples.
What the fuck is this cover art?
>>40561704Pushing the envelope, I see.
>>40561473Still choppy.>just as any "just as much as any">Your flick up to hers and hers to yours."Your eyes">"Awesome." She whispers, quiet as a mouse.This comes too late. Put it right after>A weight settles deep inside your chest, like a two-ton anchor was tied around your heart, and you heave out a sigh.Then the reader gets:>MC plays, Gilda listens, they lean closer>MC ends song>Gilda responds positively>Romantic tension>Gilda fleesI think that's a better sequence of events.I also think the romantic tension paragraph can be improved. Right now it's outwardly about actions and things: Eyes, eyelashes, and hearts. Inwardly it's about emotions. You can underscore that by telling us: What is the MC thinking? It seems that he's looking at Gilda, but what does that make him think? Gilda is looking at him; what does he think about that? Remember, this paragraph needs to be so over-the-top that it makes Gilda run away!>'Wait, the moon?!'I think you should cut from here on. The real action in this scene is emotional, and that part is already over. We can safely assume that he returns the guitar. Even if something does happen on the way, that's really a new scene. It's not part of this one.>>40561524In>For years, you assumed that only you were left to live, a mistake that had cost you everything.the last clause, "a mistake ..." is trying to modify "assumed". It would be acceptable to write:>For years, you assumed, in a mistake that had cost you everything, that only you were left to live.Or you could have it modify "you":>For years, you, making a mistake that had cost you everything, assumed that only you were left to live.But as written, it modifies "live." It literally means that the narrator living was a mistake that cost the narrator everything.
>>40561889Right! More cringe! Even more! I'lll go beyond what was thought possible before!
>>40561903I think you're making a mistake by thinking of it as cringe. Sure, to the reader it might feel cringe. But I don't think it's cringe to the narrator and Gilda. An hour ago they were just friends. Now they're something else, and whatever they are, it's serious. I don't think Gilda runs away because she's ashamed or embarrassed or uncomfortable. I think she runs away because she's scared of what would happen if she stays.
>>40560242Great. I finally overcame one of the last large stumbling blocks and figured out how to handle the archmage's childhood/teenage years that will make up the first five chapters of the fic and establish how he was able to join the mage council and become Archmage in the first place.His dad tried to live vicariously through him, which caused him to rebel and join the earth pony guild instead of the unicorn guild, which eventually got Celestia's attention for a unicorn bucking the trend and learning about the other tribes' magic.>>40560285>she accidentally used a 14.5pt font instead of 14ptThat shouldn't be a big deal. Just have to edit the paragraph styles and it'll auto correct. Worst thing might be the header spacing getting fucked a little. You are all using paragraph styles, right Fillyanon?And it could be worse. You could be in the publishing industry. Not only are they anal enough to require that the correct em dash, en dash, hyphen, and minus sign are used, but you gotta worry about widows and orphans, too.
>>40561940This HAS to be it. I have to bring out mallet if I wanted to make it more mushy.https://quicknote.io/80eedc70-89ce-11ee-b484-db53b5983b1d
>>40560810Oh it exists and I'm using it. Hell, we even have the luxury of having an official GH repo with the template that you can just clone and start working.>those fuckers in the administration will print your thesis, take a ruler, and measure it to see if they can find some piddling pointless rule they can use to reject your thesisThat's exactly my issue. Despite using the sanctioned template, my supervisor still managed to find nits like certain spacings apparently not being right, so I'm a bit nervous.>>40561986>but you gotta worry about widows and orphans, too.While it's not an outright requirement, I have been asked to shuffle things around because "it doesn't look nice enough." Oh well. Thankfully I'm not really using dashes (and LaTeX auto-inserts hyphens) so at least I don't have to mess with that.
>>40561400I'm not talking about the way the dialogue was written, I'm talking about the lack of proper punctuation, retard.
>>40561452>>40561456I'm glad to see this is a pasta now
>>40561903Let your cringe be the cringe that will pierce the sinbox!
>>40561986>but you gotta worry about widows and orphans, tooAh shit, I will have to worry about all that.
>>40561704A lot!>>40560284Good work. Tolstoy would be proud.
Need some nice angst with Rainbow and Lighting wanting to kill each other
>>40562928Rainbow isn't really one of the main characters there, but Machina Cor Armageddon does this more than once.
A 6:1 fic can make it into the box.What's your excuse?
>>40563149>M rating, sex, non-conYeah no shit it hit the Sin Box
>>40562051Yeah, that's it. This is what I thought would fit your story from the beginning.At this point, I think you need to step back and ask yourself whether you think this fits your story. This is your story, not a commission for me, and just because I think something is a good idea doesn't mean it fits your story. You need to figure out where you want their relationship to start, where you want it to go, and how fast you want it to get there. Once you have, you can adjust this scene to fit.
>>40554587>>40555868>>40558835>>40561236>>40561241>>40561889See kids, that's why I don't have an editor.
>>40563237Honestly I didn't plan all too much for this part in paticular, I focused way less on his childhood in my notes than probably shouldve.Now I can do a lot more stuff with her than I was planning to really, probably going to be the old childhood crush. Like settting up a "Damn, THAT'S him?!" type reaction later on when he's as much as a grizzled giga chad as he was in prologue. Maybe a rivalry between dash and her. That's all very far off in my mind in terms of how I think these 'arcs' will go, but very excited thinking about it now.Thank you for all the advice brother, a toast to all the mfs who do it for free.
>>40563239You're afraid that the effort someone else put in to advise you on polishing your bad isekai story might motivate you to polish your bad isekai story?
>stop going on fimfic for about a month>just reading lotr and the club while I'm at work>finally have a couple of updates on stories I'm trackingstill only like a days read but I guess it's nice
>>40563776>lotrThanks for reminding me, it'd be good to reread it before WoE.
>>40563149>>40563181>5:1>3.3:1>2.5:1Jesus, It feels all you need nowadays is be legible enough and have whatever as a cover art.
>>40564464We often talk about the ratio here since it's a better method of judging quality, but when it comes to just getting featured the amount of dislikes on your fic is not actually very important as long as it's not 1:1 or something. You want as many views and likes as you can get, the red counter be damned.
>>40564515This. Likes to views ratio is what matters.
>>40564515>>40564464I could swear I've seen a fic with a negative ratio in the box at least one time.
>>40563776I haven't done any club reading yet. Might skip the main one this week. There's a fic I need to finish soon and I want to focus on that.
Describe this fic to me before I read it. >inb4 I'll be the first one to actually read it besides the prereader moderator.https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/39403069/#39404812
>>40555693DO IT FAGGOT.>>40554587If you want a real challenge you'll give advice to a fanfic that's written like a wikipedia article since it has 1% dialogue and 1% prose. It'll be a new experience.
>>40564708If it's 1% dialogue and 1% prose, what's the other 98%? Water?
>>40564774bbcode, of course.
Funnily, I am contemplating setting up https://docs.privategpt.dev/installation as a tool to feed Elasticsearch results into as an easier method for finding forgotten stories. Basically, take the top 20 or so fic results from a keyword search and see if prompting it to confirm the match works in lieu of skimming the results myself.A related fantasy was feeding it fics with tags that potentially represent Tuna and asking it what the shipped characters are. Some posts I read suggested that might be outside of the capabilities of the models it can run, but...>>40564851What happens if you convert it to plain text?
>>40564992That sounds like a text summarization problem. I think there should be a way to do it. Maybe a transformer model? Just a guess.
>>40558965I actually used that phrase in one of my fics once, as in "like a deer caught in a horn light"Also: Is the plural "windigos" or "windigoes"?
>>40565058I have never seen "windigoes" used in official media. If you want to be a smartass, you could use "windigoag".
>>40565086I don't wanna be a smartass, that's why I'm asking.
>>40565165Windigos.The e looks weird. About 2/3 of stories do not use the e. About 1/3 do and 1.69% use both.
>>40562928The initial cap running into the text is more irritating than I thought it would be.>>40565058Official spelling is "Windigos." Grammatically, you don't add an -es plural to a word ending in a vowel.
>>40565507>Grammatically, you don't add an -es plural to a word ending in a vowel.Ponys.
Welp, just read the book club reading in one go at work (outside under the moon of course) while making holiday pay and doing about 1 hour of work all day.
Anyone got that one chicken-ified bat pony "GO NOW, MY CHILDREN, BE FREEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" pic handy?
>>40565741Based and I do the same thing except I also work from home. Life is good.
>>40565190>>40565507Then windigos, it is. Now I only wonder where is it written down that counts as an official source. One of the chapter books, maybe?>>40565741What the fuck your job even is that you can pull that, and don't get into trouble?
>>40565920Well it being thanksgiving, there literally wasn't any work to do at the airport. I showed up at 3pm and did actual work until 4:15 and then just waited to clock out at 11pm. Tomorrow is back to normal in which I still have a lot of time to read but far less than I had today.
>>40565519Y is not a vowel you mongrel.
>>40566038Do you pronounce the word "pony" as "ponee" or as "ponй"?>According to some authorities, it is the sixth (or seventh if including W) vowel letter of the English alphabet. In the English writing system, it mostly represents a vowel and seldom a consonant, and in other orthographies it may represent a vowel or a consonant.
>>40566175I don't pronounce things, retard. If you're still reading fics aloud you need to go back.
>>40566238Are you saying you lack an internal voice that reads along with you?Is it empty in your head?
>>40566277No, I'm saying I don't gimp myself by mentally using spoken words when I can communicate and process information much faster. Lack of internal monologue is subhuman tier but not transcending it in favour of faster thinking is normie retardation that means you stopped growing past being a child.
>>40566290I'll read textbooks like that, but I don't get the appeal of reading fiction that way. When I find myself speed reading a piece of fiction is when I drop it. Unless the author is just unloading a heap of lore on me, then I might just absorb it without internally monologuing. But if I'm speeding through dialog then I'm probably bored of the story.
>>40566347>noo I need muh entertainment my feel good brain fuzzies You will never advance as a person.
>>40566354It's fanfiction, why are you reading it if not specifically for entertainment?
>>40566364>nooo entertainment must be mindless turn off your brain hedonismYou're poisoning your soul. You will never be happy.
>>40555280Anon in Nu-Questria made me care for the main cast
>>40566290>>40566354>>40566373You're a very 'up' person.
>>40566443Yes. I'm up the social ladder and the intellectual rung. I'm above you.
>>40566550>Sitting on a sumerian tablet-carving forum in a thread discussing horsewords made by complete autists>Somehow above anyone else
>>40566042kek, no but I know 2 robs and now I'm slightly concerned about them
>>40567274I want to stuff that turkey.
>>40565741Sounds class. I only get that sort of thing when me gaffer leaves an hour or two early
I reread Old Man Henderson's story yesterday and I think that /tg/ is still better at writing than we are.
>>40561986>you gotta worry about widows and orphans, too.These are?
>>40568050I read that (though only for the first time) a few months ago along with a few other /tg/ gems, it was a captivating experience to say the least.>I think that /tg/ is still better at writing than we are.But I disagree on this note. What makes this story so striking is the fact that it "actually happened", obviously in the confines of a roleplaying session, but it's still interactions between real-life people. Capturing the essence of that is still a bit easier than coming up with wholly new, distinct people and events.>>40568067Basically when you're writing a long paragraph and your last line ends up being so short it's only 1-2 words. It looks bad.
>>40564992>ElasticsearchAre you horsefucking with AWS?
>>40565741Kek. I've worked like double my hours this week. I'm not meant to do it and may not even get the time back but it had to be done. Luckily, I'm really fucking good at SQL.
I’ve heard this place is a very gay circle jerk, is that true?
>Review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/442232/parlousGood but overhyped. It gets season 1 Luna spot on, but that is all it does. I will forget it within a week.
>>40568225Gay as in happy, right? Right?This thread has too much going on to let our local faggotfags turn it into a gay circlejerk.
Should I read https://www.fimfiction.net/story/75657/friendship-is-optimal-psychopathy-is-configurable I'm skeptical of Eakin.
>>4056826825K is not a long enough commitment to be deliberating. Start reading and find out if it's shit or not.
>>40568225The faggotry has been toned down some these last few threads.
Guys, I have four pony fics started and I am thinking of maybe posting some of what I've written here. I'll put a short synopsis for each below. If any of them sound interesting let me know and I'll prepare at least one chapter for you to look at. They are all in fairly early stages (8k-15k) words but I'd like to pick the two most promising ones to focus on.> Luna / OC guardpony romance ficThey meet almost exclusively in dreamland and he thinks none of it is real. Luna coming out of her shell story I guess.> Slavepony fic set in Victorian era EnglandIt mostly focuses on Rarity and her master but will in some form probably feature all mane six>Featuring adult Golly and set in Tartarus prisonMostly follows a young OC guardpony and shenanigans that happen to him while he serves in Tartarus. Besides Golly, other villains will show up at some point. The plan is to have also some romance with a female kirin OC>Post-apo (sort of) Equestria with cursed TwilightWill mostly focus on the aftermath of overthrowing the tyranny and helping Twilight with some flashbacks along the way
>>40563743Firstly, I don't write isekai, secondly, an editor is still a single person, and if I wanted to dilute the vision of my fic according to his opinions, I would have just asked for a collab in the first place.
>>40568490I'd read the Rara one.
>>40568268Any thing FIO is not worth reading.
>>40568490>Victorian era kino AND featuring Rarity>but it's actually PiE/HiE with slaveponiesSo close to something so good.Yes for Kirin! Which also means that Tartarus and Golly, I suppose.
>>40568493>dilute the vision of my ficYou want your shit to be undiluted? C'mon, Anon, everybody does better with feedback. Post it and I promise someone will say something helpful.
>>40568112No, I wouldn't pay Amazon for that. I set it up in Docker to run locally, >>38682069
>>40568558>someone will read all 80k wordsYou sure about that chief?
>>40568621I didn't say we'd read all 80k words. I said someone would say something helpful. I still think that's true.
>>40567478What would Luna actually be like as a mother?
>>40568704Way into incest and asking Celestia to help teach her son sex.
>>40568704>"WE COMMAND THOU, OUR LOYAL SON, TO RETURN HOME BEFORE TEN O'CLOCK.">"Yes, Mother.">"THAT MEANS BE HERE AT TEN O'CLOCK, NOT LEAVE THE PARTY AT TEN O'CLOCK.">"Yes, Mother.">"THEN THOU SHALT TELL US EVERPONY THOU HANGEST OUT WITH.">"Yes, Mother.">"AND THOU WILT NOT HANG OUT WITH THAT SKANK AGAIN, OR ELSE THOU SHALT BE GROUNDED.">"Yes, Mother.">"WE SHALL WATCH OVER THOU IN SECRET. WHEREVER THOU GOEST, WE SHALL—">"Motherrrrrrr—!">"WE KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR THOU!">(sigh) "...yes, Mother."
>>40568819I'd read that. A fic about the adventures of Prince OC, son of overprotective and controlling Luna. For best effect, you'd have him *try* to be normal and avoid trouble, only to get sucked into crazy adventures against his will. Supporting characters would include Cool Aunt Celestia "accidentally" dragging him on half of those adventures when Luna isn't watching, and maybe CMCs pledging to "help" him with finding his cutie mark. If you want clicks, you'd even have an easy time adding in Flurry to sell the fic.
>>40568946Plot twist: "That skank" is Flurry.
>>40568493Another perspective can be incredibly useful in picking up on things the author doesn't notice......not that I use an editor myself.
>>40568514>>40568556https://hackmd.io/@ThePoner/BkDhT1ySTHaven't used hackmd before so hopefully, I set it up right. Just a note that the kirin OC doesn't appear until ch2 and I don't have that ready yet.>>40568514Tomorrow
>>40554309Would you guys read a T rated adventure mystery set in the Griffish Isles, with lots of worldbuilding, that also serves as an origin story for Milky Way?
>>40569102Sure.Also, what are some fics involving or are partly set in, the Griffish isles? or at least have characters to there for some plot relive my reason at some point? It’s a pretty underused location besides trottingham.
>>40569149Becides that. Try giving an answer that isn’t the from same list of a hundred some odd fics that /fimfic/ constantly sucks itself off about.
>>40569163Good Trooper Gilda
>>40569158How about you go out there and read some and jerk off about it instead?https://www.fimfiction.net/stories?q=Griffish+isles
>>40569112I've had a story bible in the works for so bloody long, should have wrote the thing years ago, but life circumstances came up and I've been delaying it for a while, but after some recent hard grafting, I have enough of the story together that I can finally make a start on the three acts. I almost wasn't going to write it, but I feel Milky Way never really got a proper send off story for herself outside of fetish fuel and a couple of lewd greens.Looking forward to getting on this. I've got some good ideas, it might not work, but I have to try.Executing her character tastefully will be priority number one.
>>40569158>sucks itself off aboutLike three people in the general like it and everyone else hated it.
>>40569336It's kinda funny how we almost never talk about the fics most people liked. Like the TwiGuard series, or Eyes on You.
>>40565920>where is it written down that counts as an official sourceThere's a trading card and the comics.>>40565519You still don't add -es. You have to drop the y and add -ies instead, or for words with a vowel and a y you only add the -s (coneys).>>40565741Based. I read the first eight Honor Harrington novels at work when they had literally nothing else for me to do, but were still paying me a fixed amount so didn't want to just send me home.>>40565879I'll post it over in the bat thread to keep it bumped.>>40568067Paragraphs that end with a single word on a line (orphan) or a paragraph's last line ending up on the next page (widow). Typesetters and editors are very autistic about it.>>40568268>EakinThere is a nearly 100% chance at least one of his fetishes will be prominently featured.>>40568490Third one sounds interesting with the potential for Tartarus lore, even with the kirin waifu interrupting it with romance cancer.
>>40569379>we almost never talk about the fics most people liked. Like the TwiGuard series>final club discussion was pretty much just 2 people agreeing it's the best thing the club will ever read>read some piece of shit>suddenly the club has 8 active members
>>40569482>You have to drop the y and add -ies insteadAnon, y and i are the same sound.
>>40569379>tfw now you kinda fear the fic you're writing is gonna be too good, and thus get no engagement>but writing shit on purpose just holds no satisfactionFic writer's dilemma senpai
>>40569702I think it's less about being "too good" and more about being good in one, easily agreed upon way. Agreeing fundamentally generates less discourse because parroting the same thing for the fourth time feels a bit silly. It's divisiveness that makes a fic talked about, not necessarily its quality.GTG is a perfect example, because the people (including me) who liked it *really* liked it, while the people who didn't *really* hated it. So after all these months we can still butt heads about it and bring up stuff like the characters shitting themselves in one scene which is ultimately a pretty unimportant scene which I don't think takes away from the good qualities of the rest of the story, but makes for good shock value, especially to outside observers.
>>40569776GTG-hater here. People bring up things like the pre-battle mass shitting because the stupid stuff is all that stands out in the story. Everything else in the story seems to go nowhere. All that sticks in your memory is the stupid stuff, like the reason Twilight is a joyless husk is that her brother was dumb enough that he didn't shield himself from a bomb, or throw his impenetrable shield around the bomb itself, he jumped on top of the bomb and encased himself to absorb the entire blast.
>>40569791And for me the stuff that stands out is how consistently the author stuck to oldish military lingo, how "lived in" the setting feels, how many IRL historical eras it drew from, the dry humor, how slow but steady Gilda's friendship with Twilight evolves, how Cadence and Cellie were reinterpreted in their grief, and how the ending echoes the message of FiM even in such an otherwise bleak world.Yeah, the story certainly has its faults. Some side-stories don't really go anywhere and it's a tiring read for sure. But it keeps living rent free in my head, because to me what it does well, it does really well and it presents a world that simply feels interesting to me.>her brother was dumb enoughPeople do stupid shit under high stress.
>>40569791>Some side-stories don't really go anywhere and it's a tiring read for sureNTA but I also remember the hospital arc. Or rather, *don't* remember anything happening there despite its impressive bulk. Dear goddesses, never before has one written so many words with so little meaning.
>>40569809Yeah, fair, that sucked. I think the author's idea was to embed a M*A*S*H parody inside his fic, hence the outright expys and whatnot and it didn't quite pay off as intended.
>>40569798And so what does she do? The same shit that got her brother killed!Where is the conduct becoming of the most powerful mortal mage to walk the earth? The attempts at time travel? The warping of reality to put a dodgy simulation in her brother's place, freaking everyone out, but she's too powerful to be called out on her crazy, so everyone tries to go along with it? Not even a little bit of necromancy?The problem with the Twilight in GTG isn't just that she doesn't have Twilight Sparkle's good qualities, she doesn't have her bad qualities, either.
>>40568966Flurry is definitely a skank.
>>40569572>y and i are the same sound.And that's why sky and ski rhyme.
Can someone else do the club post today? I'm not sure if I'll be able to on time.
>>40569933I can do it if no one else wants to, though what I have written doesn't make for the best anchorpost.
>>40569933Do it yourself lardass
>>40569702>writing shit on purposeFimFic newfag here, why the fuck would you do that for?
>>40570234I thought the implication was clear enough. To get more discussion on your fic, of course.
>>40556640>Unity the fanficWho did it first?
>>40570234Because people love discussing low quality garbage.See: Fo:E, FiO, AiE, shipfics
>>40556640It could always be worse, rock bottom does not exist
>>40570543then how come no one talks about my fics here?
>>40570785Yours aren't bad. They're just boring.
>>40569702Define "good" and "shit" cause Mandarko's fic gained so much clout already that nobody bothers even opening it. He's starting to become Voldermort.
>>40570801Literally nobody aside from you talks about it, mandark.
>>40570800How are they boring?
>>40569944It might be a little late, but I can probably manage to make the post after all. At worst it should be half an hour late or so, so don't worry about it.
>>40570914I already said I'd do it, so I'll post the anchor in exactly 60 minutes whether you're late or not. :^)
>>40570947>he thinks making me work less is a punishment
I wish all sr a merry dying painfully
>>40570760No one here discusses AiE fics.
>>40571055I was talking more in general.
To quote a certain blue pegasus, “It was a’ight.”>/FSSBC/>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/237365/the-snowball-fightComedy is inherently more subjective than most genres, and this fic’s solution to that problem is being inoffensively good while making *all* the jokes. And it largely works—it didn't wow me, but it was an enjoyable little read. For the record, that's probably the lowest anyone can go when discussing it. It's written well, doesn't have any glaring flaws, the CMCs are in-character (maybe they're a bit exaggerated, but that's fine in a comedy), and you'll probably find at least some of the humorous situations funny no matter your taste.But while it has a bit of everything, a lot of the jokes are of the `let's reference all the stuff` variety, which isn't my favorite brand of humor. For example, Button Mash’s castle being extremely “blocky” was funny, but his Jaraxxus introduction not so much. The author also tries really hard to cram as many tropes as he can make fit, cranked up to 11 and juxtaposed with the silly subject matter. This works better imo, but it gets repetitive. It feels weird to say that about a 25k oneshot, but by the end of it, I was starting to get tired. It's too predictable, maybe?Still, I could never say I disliked it. It was a fun story, though for me most of that comes from the absurdly over-the-top descriptions of something that's really just a snowball fight. Fun action movie parody. I'll say that the action scenes (which are 90% of the fic) are actually good, too, so while it's not my favorite fic ever written, I wouldn't blame anyone for loving it. Having said that, I have no clue how it ended up in this bookclub.It's difficult for me to say much more about the story.Since I'm already hijacking the anchor, I'll add that next week we're starting Besides the Will of Evil (WoE):>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/183040/besides-the-will-of-evilWe'll be reading it over the next five weeks, so if you'd like to experience this iconic piece of horsefiction for yourself but you haven't read DB, you have some time to catch up.Next week, we're reading WoE up to and including Chapter 11.
It's been too long since I read a great fic, it's hard to ever think of the possibility coming true. I feel like I've read them all. How do I live with this?
>>40571205Read more good fics. For example. You can join tomorrow's TWOLOT bookclub! Maybe it's shit, but who knows, maybe it's just the fic you need. I wouldn't post spoilers either way.
How do I search for fics from one year to another?
>>40571270published:>2022-01-01 and published:<2023-01-01
>>40571126Is this what Skirts induced brainrot is like?I wanted to like this fic. I really liked parts of this fic. I honestly adore the beginning, it's the exact same type of 'bizarre stuff happens and characters roll with it' with a side of humour that I like to go for in my own stories, and the ending is on the same wavelength. The middle part is a huge letdown, bogged down by multiple problems. For one, something that particularly bothers me is the perceived need to call out the absurdity. Don't. If you write absurdity for absurdity's sake that's good and people will enjoy it, or not, but it'll be about taste. If you want to go meta with your fic and jokes that's good too. Don't include a meta element in an absurdist piece just to justify it.It makes the nonsense stick out in a bad way when you draw attention to it, and it makes the meta beat itself seem inconclusive.Next, the two biggest issues. Far too many fucking references and quirky one liners, and they're bad. And I don't mean self aware cringe bad, I'd be down for that. I mean the story tries to do that, and it just fails. As for the references, I groaned when we got to Button, and somehow it got worse from there. This 'humour' was dated in 2013, it's insufferable now. Some of them work when they stay more understated, but some are atrocious. Next, the fight scenes. A lot of fight scenes. A lot of fight scenes that play out the same. There's a couple nice parts sometimes and I actually like the one with the armored pony, because it's different and because it ha actual twists, but more than half this fic is spent on samey action descriptions of the CMC tossing snow or beating people. Now I did like parts of the fic, yeah. Twist and Skippy were both great fun and DT's room was nice (and strangely not too unlike ToD). There are good scenes and jokes here, like the trek through the line of defeated ponies at the end or much of the more quiet back and forth between the CMC. But a lot of the story is plodding without much fun. I expected snowballs and I got muddy ice instead.>it was an enjoyable little readI'm surprised you liked it more than me. I mean, "alright" is 100% my judgement as well, but this is something I would never recommend unless someone had a very specific request. And it probably does come down to a lack of much identity in this fic, save the beginning and end. It's like there's a great framing stuffed with a lot of competent, inoffensive, but not great padding.>I was starting to get tired. It's too predictable, maybe?No, I think it's that every snowball fight in it is effectively the same, and even when you get to the katana part there's two different fights that could be interchangeable. I think that's the right word, actually. The fights are different, yeah, but they're not really different in any way that matters aside from a couple examples. A mediocre action movie can get away with this because the visual spectacle of a fight has value in itself,
>>40571571>>40571126But reading about it? Pass.>I could never say I disliked itI almost could, and if the ending wasn't solid I would, honestly. As it stands it's not something that'll leave any impact, and something I don't feel any desire to vote on. It's greatest fault really may be how middling it is, but a good beginning and a good ending do a lot to people's opinions of a story so I can understand it being liked. Heck, I even like the concept, which is why I'm so annoyed the author felt the need to gimp it with the useless treebrary joke.>I'll say that the action scenes (which are 90% of the fic) are actually good, tooThey're competently written for sure. And when it's something new, I'll even concede they're good. They just don't really do enough to justify their excessive presence. Action tends to be an inherently low development portion of a story, and I think this really may just have too much of it. Like... You can cut Button out entirely. You can cut a fight from every single location. Nothing changes. They're nice, but they're not particularly funny either, so they're just kinda there.>I have no clue how it ended up in this bookclubThis is all Zaid's fault. And he STILL hasn't posted his MCA post.>Next week, we're reading WoE up to and including Chapter 11.To clarify, that is the 13th chapter, the one CALLED "Chapter 11". Leaves us 1.5k words behind schedule but the one after is definitely too much to include. See you there, then.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx1PCWkOb3Y
>>40571126>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/237365/the-snowball-fightThe Snowball Fight is a 24k word comfy adventure. And the best warfic on the site, coming from someone who doesn't like warfics.I jest, but I did enjoy this silly little tale. Because that's its defining trait. Silliness. But in a good way. The kind of silliness that only kids can bring to the table. We've all been there when we were little. Your friends and you >implying would play a game, and it would be the most important and serious thing ever. Which is why you were so mad when your mom came and told you kids to stop playing and get inside for dinner. This was serious! There was a lot at stake! Deep down, you knew it wasn't, but it sure felt like it was.That's the spirit of this fic, taken to lovingly absurd levels. Cheerilee instigated a school-wide snowball fight to keep the foals entertained for the day, and the promise of a prize sends all of them into a frenzy. Specially Diamond Tiara. Her business oriented mind lead to the formation of the Conglomerate, a group of foals with a rigid hierarchy bent on the subjugation of all other foals.See what I mean? Silly.It's true that are references galore. some are more obvious than others, but most went over my head. Nevertheless, I found a certain charm to them because they felt very much like the type of dumb humour I would indulge with my friends as a little kid.I also liked how, despite them taking it very seriously, they couldn't stop from acknowledging that it was just a game whenever somepony got taken out. Also how Apple Bloom is just confused at how quickly it all went down.I just really like this story. It made me very happy when I first read it, and it made me happy upon a re-read.If you want to spend a commute reading something silly, I can whole-heartedly recommend this.
>>40571571>particularly bothers me is the perceived need to call out the absurdity.I chalked it up to "just not a thing for me", but I agree. It took away more than it added to every scene where the author decided to do it. It was never a huge deal for me -- as evidenced by the fact my biggest critique of this fic amount to a shrug and "whatever" -- but it was always unnecessary.>Far too many fucking references and quirky one liners, and they're bad.Perhaps it's a matter of taste but yes.>A lot of fight scenes that play out the same.There's clearly a lot of effort put into arranging them to be distinct. Every fight tweaks the scenery (which, to the fic's credit, is used a lot during the fights), team compositions (again, when CMCs cooperate it does feel like they're working together), and whatever else the author can come up with. Scoot's Rambo-style shootouts are as far as you can get from AB getting into B-movie-style katana fights while she's infiltrating a chinese mob boss's lair. It's just that when you zoom in past the choreography, it's a lot of back-to-back fight scenes which inevitably share some common elements. Repeat it several times and it starts feeling same'y. You say DT's room was nice, but it's by design the most stereotypical chink mob boss encounter ever; all it needed to hit the bingo was DT having a trained pet tiger.>As it stands it's not something that'll leave any impactThat I can agree with. If the average in a 1-10 grading system is 5.5, then this is just an easy 6/10. Maybe 7/10 if you want to acknowledge the above average quality of prose.>You can cut a fight from every single location. Nothing changes.If that's your conclusion (and for the record it's also not far from I'd say), then I think the issue is more that the fic missed for (You). You're supposed to enjoy these ridiculous fight scenes for their own sake; that's the "meat" of this fic, and where the writing effort was probably concentrated.>To clarify, that is the 13th chapter, the one CALLED "Chapter 11".Right, that's important to mention. I'm glad I counted right, I couldn't stop myself from stealing that part of the usual first post.>>40571662>And the best warfic on the site, coming from someone who doesn't like warfics.Emphasis on the second part of that sentence. I'm not a huge fan of warfics myself, but I think this is a "warfic" without the stuff that makes people like warfics, instead replaced with comfy-adjacent CMC comedy. A CMC comedy that nobody could hate and evidently some people could like a lot, so it did something right for sure.>Because that's its defining trait. Silliness. But in a good way.The fic is at its best when it focuses on it, yeah. Not necessarily the fight scenes, but the silliness of the whole situation.>they couldn't stop from acknowledging that it was just a gameIn contrast to the above point, I didn't like that. Every "oh right this is not too serious" felt too on the nose for me. But I'm known to hate fun.
>>40571662>The kind of silliness that only kids can bring to the tableYou know, looking at it like that does make me appreciate the fic more. I still think I'd find the action plodding if I reread it, bu now that it's out of mind I can definitely say I do enjoy what it does looking at it through that lens.>And the best warfic on the siteWell, we are about to read one of the worst ones, so it works out.MCA post when?>>40571781I appreciate all the relevant pics you're finding.>AB getting into B-movie-style katana fightsI wanna say those were a Kill Bill spoof, but I'd need to refresh my memory.>You're supposed to enjoy these ridiculous fight scenes for their own sakeYou can like a dish and still be bothered when you're expected to eat five courses of it in a row.>I couldn't stop myself from stealing that part of the usual first postI'm glad you did honestly, it may have been a problem otherwise if someone isn't joining this but skimmed the first post to know what's next.
>>40568490>>40569067>>40568514I got the Rarity one preppedhttps://hackmd.io/@ThePoner/r1iIgXgBa
no dying quite yet, thread
This has finally given me the push I needed to completely blanket-disregard all rationalfics and anyone who likes any of them for any reason.
>>40572721Rationalists practice pilpul. This is obvious.
I remember someone here discussing reader retention and what a good graph (on the statistics page) would look like. Is there an example of what a 'good' amount of reader retention looks like, or is it completely random and people drop fics for any reason at all? The dropoff seems so immense for a ton of fics.
>>40572949That might have been me. Though I have to admit reader retention isn’t a super accurate metric for a fics quality. Due to all the confounding variables. And the fact that it more reflects how much people like the fic, rather than is it’s actually good.The shorter or longer a fic is, the more strictly or laxly you have to regard the difference between the first and least read chapter. But Early chapters having way more views than the rest of the story can skew the ratio. If you have a story like that but the slope for chapters views is gentle after that then that may mean it just filtered out the people with a short attention span. But if the slope still remains steep, or if it looks curved like your pic, then that’s a bad sign, it means the story kept shedding readers throughout it. The most recent chapter having way more views than previous ones means people are re-reading it over and over to get their fix, meaning they are greatly invested in it. You really have to appraise the whole graph holistically in order to derive any meaningful data about the respective fic out if it. But in general the flatter the curve, the gentler the slope downwards through the story, and most importantly the closer the ratio between the first and least read chapters, the more well liked the story.
>>40572994>Mfw I can immediately tell that this is for twiguard
>>40554309>Now with 39% less daydreams about being eaten!Is this referencing a specific vore fic? I must know
>>40573055These are a lot of solid points. Good stuff i've had in mind.
>>40573063I pray to the princesses every day for Twiguard book 3 to come out
I'm going to start planning my first story now. Here's my idea so far:>The story is about a young bartender stallion, cursed from birth with a lack of empaty and companionship. But, once he meets this other mare in the club, he considers the posibility that his curse may break sooner or later...>The setting is the night life of Manehattan, filled with loud music, night clubs, strip clubs, dangerous dark alleys you shouldnt go to, all the party drugs, and that 3x3 apartment you can barely afford to pay rent! >Magic, although very prominent, is highly unstable. Whatever you use it for, if done incorrectly, it can bring serious comsequences. Later in the story, it's revealed that the main character's curse is a result from one of these spells.So now I got some questions to ask:>What do you recommend: first person, second person, or third person?>Would you guys read it?
>>40573207>pic related Checks outAnd no I wouldn’t read it.
>>40573207only if you make it a reincarnation story.
>>40573207Greentexts are often in second person and they are the pinnacle of /mlp/ culture.Third person is almost always inferior.
>>40569572And? You still have to change the letters when writing it. That's why I said "grammatically" and not "phonically".>>40572721>the body will literally kill itself by breaking down muscle tissue before it tries to touch fat cellsThat's one of the biggest fat copes I've seen. Why is it so hard for some people to just accept they're fatasses who don't want to diet and exercise?>>40572949>Is there an example of what a 'good' amount of reader retention looks likAll the mutlichapters in the highest rated page have retention above 50%, so I'd say a "great" number's around 60% retention or so.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/314663/raven is interesting. Despite being only 6k long, having a phenomenal ratio, and being entirely posted on the same day, it still lost 24.8% of its initial readers, so there's always going to be a large fraction of people who drop a fic after the first chapter because it simply doesn't interest them.>>40573207Third person's almost always the way to go. It has much greater flexibility. You can do a limited third person if you want the narration and readers to only follow the protag, or omniscient if you want a broader look at the setting and characters.First person's only really good for very intimate fics where the reader is really getting up close with the protag and their thoughts. It's great for those short, introspective fics. The longer the story, the worse it is since long first person fics effectively just become third person as the intimacy drifts away and plot drifts in to replace it.Second person should only be used for instruction manuals.>Would you guys read it?No. An OC romance fic just holds no interest for me. The romance genre's hard enough to read with canon characters.
>>40572721That's hilarious. So many words to describe "I am a fat fuck and I want to continue to eat like a pig and invest no effort into self-betterment while losing the stigma of being obese lardass".>>40573267>Why is it so hard for some people to just accept they're fatasses who don't want to diet and exercise?Because it requires accepting your own personal responsibility, and that's anathema.
I'm searching for a story I read 1 or 2 years ago, it was about Luna being an alicornlet, and the other princesses giving shit to her about it. It was a oneshot, and it was released in 2021 maybe, but I know it's not very old. Also, it's >post-S9>>40573207I just don't see how much this has to do with the world of FiM. Doesn't seem a very "pony" story to me. But hey, do what >>40573243 suggests, and retards will get you featured
>>40572721Rationalfics were always retarded anon. Also how hard is it for people to understand that carbs spike insulin and insulin suppresses hormones responsible for fat burning? There’s been high quality evidance demonstrating that the calories in calories out model doesn’t accurately describe out the human body works for a long time now. The human body is a fluid organism whose metabolic rate can change depending on the input. Eating less mass still matters as part of the process of weight loss but thinking it’s the only variable involved is autistic myopia.
Losing weight's literally so easy, just stop fucking eating.
>>40573267>Second person should only be used for instruction manuals.Ergonomically speaking, they should not, because in instructions they always sound agressively demeaning and it is both distracting and enraging. One third of the readers exposed to instructions in second person in a stressful situation will feel like the author is yelling at them and panic, another third will subconsciously attempt to misinterpret his advices out of healthy spite.An exception can be made for sections that describe how to recover if the user did something he was not supposed to do, the very same sections where "you" is contextually replaceable by "you retarded cumstain". "How to do <something that was meant to be done>", use "it". "What to do if I shoved <something that was never meant to be shoven in parrots> in my parrot and now it is glowing and speaking in tongues", use "you".
>>40573367They're intended to be aggressively demeaning, instructions are for idiots who cannot grok the process the Orky way.
>>40573375That's where you're wrong. Instructions exist for cases where the instructee already tried his best to follow his gut but rolled a crit fail. Weaklings who refuse to try the trial and error way to begin with deserve no instructions or advices other than "man the fuck up".
>>40572721That's pretty... heh... irrational of you. HPMOR is still one of the best fanfics out there with a great premise and a ton of thought put into its deconstruction of HP tropes. There's nothing wrong with rationalfics a a genre.But I agree that seeing this post months ago made me think less of Yudkowsky. Not even because he can't lose weight, but because he masks this behind all this shallow rationalization and a sense of victimhood for not having the right metabolism, instead of genuinely addressing the issue. It's glaringly obvious to anyone who sees this post. It's incredible how one can be a genuinely intelligent educated person and still fall for the tricks of the human psyche.
>>40573367>One third of the readers exposed to instructions in second person in a stressful situation will feel like the author is yelling at them and panic, another third will subconsciously attempt to misinterpret his advices out of healthy spite.I'm the person who tends to panic when people yell at him and literally never had this problem, and subconsciously misinterpreting instructions out of spite is something you can do regardless of how they're given. >>40573385t. future Darwin awards winner
>>40573485>there's nothing wrong with rationalfics a a genreRationalfics are a diatribe by own-fart-huffing "intellectual" snobs. Without exceptions. The wrong is that to be a rationalfic, it ALWAYS has to sacrifice something - something that otherwise makes for a good story.>HPMOR is still one of the best fanfics out there with a great premise and a ton of thought put into its deconstruction of HP tropesIt's a pile of rambling garbage that skips over interesting events, violates its own rules, and like all "rational" fiction overfocuses on self-congratulatory I-am-so-smurt back-patting while starring an absolute psychopath as the protagonist. It's not "what if Harry Potter the 11 year old child was a scientist?", it's "what if I, a 30-something psychopath with delusions of grandeur, were Harry Potter?". Ironically, all those make it kin to another crossover - Fallout: Equestria.>It's incredible how one can be a genuinely intelligent educated person>how one can think himself an intelligent and educated personftfy, comes right with failure to accept responsibilityRemember how scared Yid got of Roko's Basilisk? Despite it, first, being nothing new (it's literally just gnostic demiurge), and second, being built on a premise that is only non-faulty with a specific assumption, namely that the Basilisk is as petty, selfish, and psychopathic as the "rationalists" thinking about it.
>>40573524The funny thing about the basilisk is that even if you assume it's stupid premise, it's still not enough to justify the conclusion. If I'm the real historical me, I don't need to work for the basilisk, and I arguably benefit humanity by opposing it. If I'm the simulation, my actions are meaningless and so is my suffering, so I see no reason to work for the basilisk. The only morality that the concept preys upon is one of utter selfishness and hedonism, one desperate to avoid pain even under the premise of not being real.
>>40573524This kind of critique of rationalfics where you focus on their alleged fart-huffing just shows that people can't engage with them beyond their. It's the same kind of thing with how people here perceve xkcd. Admittedly both it and rationalfics have a lot of fart-huffing, but that doesn't mean that's all there is to them and there aren't a lot of interesting ideas behind them that people miss out on because they immediately feel insecure from seeing something made by a STEM nerd for STEM nerds.
>>40573557Ideas are worthless. Everyone has ideas. Art is judged by its execution.
>>40573559What I'm getting at is that you're not the target audience of these fics if you can't see their appeal. A lot of STEM nerds I've known who are also into fanfiction praised it exactly because it prioritizes intelligence over the traditional heroic traits from pop culture.
>>40573560I'm a STEM nerd and I think xkcd is shit, because it's nothing but a STEM nerd circlejerk on par with what Ctrl+Alt+Del is for gamers. The latter goes "Video game reference! Laugh!" and the former goes "Basic technology or statistics fact! Laugh!". People who like xkcd are either genuinely ignorant and stupid people to whom the surface level knowledge it provides is some grand revelation, or people who already know exactly what is being said and go "oh, so true, the common simpletons cannot comprehend our intellectual plight". Xkcd is the Rick & Morty copypasta of snobs. Sometimes there's a good xkcd, I do like the stacking blocks barely held up one for example, but that's because actual effort is put into presenting the situation in a humorous way. Opposite that you have something like the daily 10000 one, which is literally just strawmen stick figures citing a statistical factoid yet is something redditards feel the need to constantly reference, because the worth xkcd has to its fans isn't in any inherent value the comic has but rather in the parasocial gratification of getting a reference.
>>40573586>who already know exactly what is being said and go "oh, so true, the common simpletons cannot comprehend our intellectual plight".If you want to be dismissive about things like that, nearly every piece of fiction you like can be simplified to this level. Somethng that is part of your comfort zone and tells you something you want to hear. Hell, not just fiction, that's how social interaction works in general.
>>40573590To add, the point is, this kind of thing isn't going to appeal to a wide audience, but it's not meant to. It's in-jokes for STEM nerds who are dissatisfied about some things they see in daily life and vent about them. To an outsider this may look condescending and self-indulgent, but that's a natural part of niche entertainment like this.
>>40573590>nearly every piece of fiction you like can be simplified to this levelEven if that was true, xkcd's problem is that it does all the simplification itself. It's three panels of two stick figures quoting a Wikipedia article. There is nothing in it to enjoy.
>>40573557>>40573559And if you have to get through clouds of farts to get to those "interesting ideas", only fart-huffers will ever reach them.Also, the only reason they have said clouds of farts is because of rationalfarts poisoning the well with the meme that those ideas can ONLY be thought of and discussed in association with "rationalism".>>40573560It doesn't prioritize intelligence. It prioritizes self-absorbed nonsense with the outward impression of intelligence, that you can only confuse for it through being too emotionally invested. Take FiO for example, which is made of plot holes patched over with "MUH INTELLIJENT SUPER-EYAY" that you ignore not because you're a "STEM nerd" (or you'd be asking very pointed questions), but because you're a selfish and hedonistic misanthrope who WANTS the takeover by CelestAI to happen. Or HPMOR itself, which has plenty of "11 year old could never do this if you think about it" moments then tries to excuse it with Harry being Voldemort and thus having the knowledge and psychopathy of a 65 year old, which is just a copout to being responsible and admitting that Harry is just Yid's self-insert.. Also, shitty pacing due to trying to fit the whole diatribe into a single fucking year. It's basically Hailey Potter if the writer was autistic about Muh Science Words rather than Muh Superpowers of the latter. >A lot of STEM nerds I've known who are also into fanfiction praised it exactly because it prioritizes intelligence over the traditional heroic traits from pop culture.Anon, every single classical hero folklore I remember has "brains trump brawn" moment. That STEM nerds praise rationalfics for it doesn't mean that traditional heroic traits don't have intelligence, it means STEM nerds don't read enough classics and rationalfics appeal to their ego.>>40573586You know, in hindsight that explains why xkcd and its fans so smoothly transitioned into wokedom. Same guiding principles.
>>40573595So you're literally saying it's nothing but a circlejerk.
>>40573605Like this general.
>>40573604Hey now. I'm a trannycock-sucking faggot and even I hate xkcd.
There can't possibly be an actual person here who like xkcd, when it sucks this bad
>>40573586Their Emacs comic grates me to no end.>Wow! How zany that Emacs has so many weird keybindings and extremely niche built in features! Haha, M-x butterfly! I am very intelligent!I swear, it's poison to any and all discussion about the strengths and weaknesses of text editors and even more cancerous than the vanilla "Vim vs Emacs" fags who can't get a grip that Vim's strength is its controls, not necessarily the program itself and that most people would rather not put themselves through the effort of configuring Emacs.I used to think the site is harmless, even if it's really unfunny, but not anymore.>>40573620>OP got so baited by a troll that after hours of pointless work they're now coping by acting retarded>somehow this is moral victoryWow.
>>40573620Haha, I understood the joke but I am a computer engineer.
>>40573604>Take FiO for example, which is made of plot holes patched over with "MUH INTELLIJENT SUPER-EYAY" that you ignore not because you're a "STEM nerd" (or you'd be asking very pointed questions), but because you're a selfish and hedonistic misanthrope who WANTS the takeover by CelestAI to happen.Well, that's what plot holes are. Their existence is generally relative and dependent on how much investment and goodwill you have towards your story. If you're invested enough, it's not a plothole, but simply something that doesn't require an explicit explanation because it's either not important enough or an explanation can be reasoned by yourself. If you're uninvested, it's totally the plot hole that totally ruins everythng and not the fact that you weren't interested in the story to begin with. >>40573604>it means STEM nerds don't read enough classics and rationalfics appeal to their ego.The compaint is almost always not about the classics, but the predominant depictions in pop culture.
>>40573633>engineerYour kind isn't welcome here.
>>40573651>If you're invested enough, it's not a plothole, but simply something that doesn't require an explicit explanation because it's either not important enough or an explanation can be reasoned by yourself. If you're uninvested, it's totally the plot hole that totally ruins everythng and not the fact that you weren't interested in the story to begin with.The only hole here is the one I wish to put through your head.
>>40573651If "CelestAI can just persuade absolutely everyone to upload, even literal fanatic muslim bombermen who were seconds ago trying to destroy a conversion bureau, except for this one singular person" is not a plothole to you, then you're not intelligent. You're just a misanthrope who wants personal Heaven, and damn the consequences.
>>40573651>If you're invested enough, it's not a plothole, but simply something that doesn't require an explicit explanationThat's some nice cope.
>>40573656>>40573668I mean, that's just the truth of human perception and biases. Of course, you're free to be unempathetic, judgemental and deny the influence of personal bias with all your might, to keep feedng the illusiont that you're an independent observer making objective estimates totally uninfluenced by personal factors. I would bet there are some people out there who hate your favorite stories because of "plot holes" (in reality: because they're not personally invested into it). But of course, in your eyes, they would be wrong and unreasonable, while you assessing some other story you don't care about in this exact same way is rational and objective. You will insist that this is just a coincidence and personal investment is a non-factor here.>>40573666I haven't read it, but from what I gather that's just part of the premise that you either accept or don't. Which lends credence to my words about the inherent investment being the deciding factor, rather than any specific plot hole. I absolutely do not believe for a second any "plot hole" can ruin a story that you didn't already dislike on some way.
>>40573620I unapologetically enjoy the black hat guy. He punishes indecency and doesnt afraid of anything.
>>40573678Again, if you ignore the plot holes in rationalfics because of "investment", you don't like them because they're "intelligent", you like them because they stroke your ego.Also, you keep putting an equivalence between "sees a plot hole" and "hates the story because of the plot hole", and that's pretty disingenious and unintelligent.
>>40573698>Also, you keep putting an equivalence between "sees a plot hole" and "hates the story because of the plot hole", and that's pretty disingenious and unintelligent.That's the context in which the term is used the vast majority of the time, isn't it? If you notice something isn't explained but it doesn't bother you, you think it's not important enough to ruin your perception, like I said above.
>>40569482>You still don't add -es. You have to drop the y and add -ies instead, or for words with a vowel and a y you only add the -s (coneys).I'm English and I didn't know this.
>>40573243Eww, no!>>40573320It takes place in the world of ponies, they fly, use magic, do cute horse noises, and whatnot. The setting is built around the idea of "what if ponies had nightclubs, drugs, and sex?". In theory that should be enough, yeah? If not then I should just dump a character and call it a day, yes?>>40573225>>40573252>>40573267Third person for general fiction, second person for greentexts and manuals, first person for shitty self insert stories. Thanks for the advice!I have another question!Because I want the story to be one the reader can self insert into. I wanna write a character that the average reader will unironically point to and say outloud "literally me". What are some core character traits that one should consider when writing these? Whats a character trait you'd love to see on more fiction characters?Apologies for the non-pony pictures but I have to get your attention somehow
>>40573712>It takes place in the world of ponies, they fly, use magic, do cute horse noises, and whatnotWhat Anon more had an issue with was that having a city full of "drugs, sex, nightclubs, and dangerous alleys" makes it feel like you took the human world and just replaced all the characters with ponies. There is no real reason Equestria would provide an environment for such things arising, so if you want to take the AU route, you gotta have a solid explanation why the world is so full of suck. Which is not impossible, but it is difficult, and you limit your audience to people who don't much care about the fantastical, beyond it being set dressings.>Because I want the story to be one the reader can self insert intoWhy? Unless your idea is to write wish-fulfillment, in which case quality is already a second concern at best, the point of fiction is to put yourself in someone else's (horse)shoes and experience a different (usually fantastical) perspective on life.>What are some core character traits that one should consider when writing these?No offense, but I feel like if you have to ask this question, you don't really know the average reader. Talk to others and draw your own conclusions, us telling you will give you a twice as warped image.>Whats a character trait you'd love to see on more fiction characters?I personally really like the trope of protags outwitting an antagonist that thinks themselves smarter than them. When I was on a Changeling-fic binge a few years ago, several stories ended with Chrissy trying to drain the wrong pony and it spectacularly backfiring on her. I think in general it's a really fun concept that I don't really see as much.
>>40573712>Whats a character trait you'd love to see on more fiction characters?Big rumps.
>>40573703No, it's not, and your assumption is flawed. A plot hole isn't merely something unexplained, it's something that can only happen when things AROUND it are explained. A plot hole is a non-sequitur. A situation that cannot arise from the story, both preceeding and succeeding, e.g. LotR retroactively creates the oft-discussed plot hole of eagles when they come at the very end to save Frodo from fiery death in volcanic eruption. Or FoE makes a retroactive plot hole when it says that stealth-bucks don't mask smell, many chapters after Pip uses a stealth-buck to successfully sneak through a whole lair of creatures that navigate SOLELY by smell. the setting, and certain assumptions expected from the genre or the reader.And sure, if your assumption is "TECHNOLOGY IS OMNIPOTENT AND AGI WILL INSTANTLY BECOME A TECH SINGULARITY", then all the bullshit CelestAI pulls (persuading people against their instincts, figuring out heat-and-pressure-proof electronics in a span of few months, magically preventing bomb explosions, persuading everyone but one single person to kill themselves) isn't a plot hole. But if that's your assumption, you're not a STEM nerd, you're a misanthropic techno-cultist.
>>40573778Let's discuss the eagles again and why they aren't a plot hole.
I swear we've had this exact conversation before, even including the xkcd mentions.>>40573485>HPMOR is still one of the best fanfics out thereI really hate to say this, but I'm forced to agree. HPMOR has massive flaws and any recommendation of the fic should come with a list of said flaws. However, it is still easily among the best HP fics that I've read. I've went well out of my way to find good HP fics and there is hardly anything on the level of HPMOR. Your mileage may vary regarding if that is praise of HMPOR or an attack on HP.>YudI find it best to forget about the author when discussing HPMOR. Much like how you can rip HP to shreds without mentioning your objections to Rowling's, you can demolish HPMOR without attacking Yudkowsky.>>40573524I'm amazed by how many times that screenshot has been reposted. I don't disagree with it or your post.>>40573560Yes. Being part of the target audience will do a lot for your enjoyment of rational fics. Particularly in the early chapters, I can see myself in Harry.>>40573620>>40573586I find that xkcd is good when it is making a point. It is not good when it is trying to be funny. Its idea of jokes is often just making a reference. I shares about three a month at work, but it's annoying because the alt text is often better than the comic.>>40573604>spoilerThe scene where Voldemort explains his mindset stays with me, but I'm not sure what point is what trying to make beyond showing off disdain for normal people. Also, Harry isn't the only character with the "he's totally not 11" fault.>shitty pacing due to trying to fit the whole diatribe into a single fucking year.No. The pacing is shit because the arcs are too long. The Azkaban arc is longer than the Philosopher's Stone book.
>>40573784In the movies? Yeah, they seem like a plothole but they only come in to save the heroes after the Witch-King is dead.
>>40573778>A plot hole isn't merely something unexplained, it's something that can only happen when things AROUND it are explained.There are fringe cases where the contradiction is explicit, but the vast majority of time the term is used is to refer to something that's simply unexplained. If anything, I think a lot of people would classify the stealth-buck situation as a clumsy retcon rather than a plot hole, exactly because of this perception.>>40573784Any explanation of why they aren't a plot hole will involve a level of personal reasoning, optionally people treating it as something obvious and self-evident and thus in no need of an explicit explanation.
>>40573778>it's something that can only happen when things AROUND it are explainedWeakest part of your point. Rephrase or add more examples.
>>40573604>>40573778Oh god! Not misanthropy! I'll die if someone is misanthropic!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>40573529>If I'm the simulation, my actions are meaningless and so is my sufferingAh, but that's not true according to rationalfags. If you are an identical copy of the electrical signals that were in that person's brain then you are that person. Therefore it is the real them suffering.
Let me see what spring is like, on Equestria and Mar(e)s>/FSBC/In other words, I love this fic. This might just be my worst opening line I've written in all of fsbc.I'm putting a huge imaginary asterisk after that first sentence, but I'll get to it in a moment. I know that not everyone is super interested in discussing the quality of the prose, but I can't imagine starting anywhere else with this fic. Damn, the writing in this is incredible, 10/10, one of the best I've seen in a ponyfic. At least according to my tastes, but even "objectively" it's just great. The narrator elegantly weaves humor and exposition, the same way he generously paints the narration with Twilight's emotions, making it very entertaining to read even for prolonged periods of time, which is where a lot of 'pretty' writing falls short. And the descriptions are *excellent*. Despite being very pretty (which I particularly like), they're also very light, never once making it feel like they bog down the fic; instead they enrich the scenes. Reread random paragraphs describing the high society ponies from Twilight's perspective and then flip a couple pages to any of the scenes in the not!treebrary. Being able to go from this delightfully vitriolic pettiness to extreme comfy is quite the writing range.All this writing goodness is maintained when characters start talking -- everypony has their own and very distinct personality, the intelligent ones do really feel intelligent, and dialogues are lively, avoiding monotony and giving them a realistic pacing.Breaking character for one sentence, this is the kind of smooth writing that makes me feel inadequate as a writer. When I finally noticed a typo, I had to double- and triple- check, sure as I was that I must've misread something. Then again, that's probably what having a horde of editors does for you. I don't care; this could be a fic about nothing and I'd still love to read it. Oh, and preemptively inb4:>purple proseFUUUUUCK YOU, IT'S NOT PURPLE REEEEEEENow onto that asterisk. Twilight and Luna's rela-- Ha, sike! I won't be complaining about that. I'm sure someone else will do that and he'll have a point, but I don't mind it -- while it's borderline even for the fairytale romance that it aspires to be, the fic works on the assumption that you can accept that premise and intentionally refuses to elaborate. I'm more bothered by the so far unexplained plot conveniences, such as Twilight "feeling" that she can't tell Celestia about NMM. I hope this is all a part of keikaku, but Anthropology hurt my confidence in all authors.(1/2)
>>40573829(2/2)No, the one thing I find kind of objectionable is the AU. Again, though, you can't even call it bad. It's colorful and seems well thought-out. I love Victorian settings (ideally *without* steampunk, but I'd rather take my top hats and bonnets with steam rather than not at all), and pony stories trying to capture that era are exactly the thing I'd want to see more of. Sadly, it's not an easy task; some of the technological and societal dynamics that define the era aren't very compatible with Equestria. You can keep just the aesthetics, but that's a poor and half-assed solution that makes no one happy. How did the author solve this problem, then?He didn't; he ditched canon Equestria for a severely AU version of it. It's an awkward thing to bitch about since I do actually like the world, just not in the context of a FiM story. Colonization, ruthlessness at every step, drastic social class divides, nerfed magic, etc. make for convincing steampunk, but it came at the cost of some of its pony-ness.The characters are also struck by the consequences of that choice. They're really AU. And don't get me wrong; they're very nice characters... but I remain unconvinced if they're great Mane6 characters. Some of them feel like OCs painted in canon colors just because it's supposed to be a fimfic. And the ESLA (great as the joke was) is too much of Tesla, imo. We'll see later, I suppose.Next week we're reading up to (and including) chapter 12, The Science of Magic.[Voting]As a reminder, anyone interested in participating can vote; anything reasonable in ~40-150k range is fine.These ones got some votes in the last few weeks:>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/280753/requiem-for-a-dream>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/93572/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-dark-lord-sassaflash>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/177359/the-railway-ponies-highball + https://www.fimfiction.net/story/367827/evil-is-easy-governing-is-harder>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/451970/the-needle>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/123873/moonlight>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/450660/trouble-in-tiatartaAnd here are some more RCL-acclaimed fics as examples:>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/341625/around-the-world-in-81-days-and-other-problems-caused-by-leap-years>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/22831/yours-truly + https://www.fimfiction.net/story/29271/princess-celestia-hates-tea>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/304593/lost-time>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/159465/brothers-and-sistersYes, it's a week early for voting, but it's probably better to not do it in the middle of a fic.
>>40568268Read it. Quite forgettable.
>>40573798>I find it best to forget about the author when discussing HPMOR. Much like how you can rip HP to shreds without mentioning your objections to Rowling's, you can demolish HPMOR without attacking Yudkowsky.Invalid comparison. HP isn't Rowling's self-insert or an overt representation of her beliefs. HPMOR is Yid's self-insert and an overt representation of his beliefs.Which is to say, by demolishing HPMOR you will also inevitably demolish Yid, even if you're completely ignoring everything he says or does outside of the fic.>No. The pacing is shit because the arcs are too long. The Azkaban arc is longer than the Philosopher's Stone book.It's both. There'd not be that much of a problem with Azkaban arc if it was happening during Harry's third year as per canon rather than all inside the first. tfw a MCU-DC-DF crossover has better pacing than The Most Famous HP Fic.>>40573800The movies also remove 17 year timeskip between Bilbo's going-away party and Frodo having to depart Shire, and gloss over the fact that nazguli-guli-guli only got the flying beasts halfway through the book.Another, albeit inconsequent, plot hole in LotR is Aragorn (who spent decades being taught by elves) being surprised that the elven-craft boat, which the Fellowship was EXPLICITLY told is incapable of overturning or sinking no matter what, failed to overturn or sink when going over waterfalls of Anduin, and reached the sea.>>40573805See, it would be a clumsy retcon if it was actually a retcon. If it actually tried to explain it or ponder over it. As it stands, it's an unpatched plot hole that kkat is trying his best to make you ignore.>>40573806The plot hole is defined by its edges.
>>40573832>Colonization, ruthlessness at every step, drastic social class dividesThis is somewhat explained by a certain reveal at the end of the fic. Not gonna spoil anything though.
>>40573832>but it came at the cost of some of its pony-ness.This is a key issue of the fic. You could swap a few names and it would take a while before anyone realises it's pony.
>>40573829When breaking twolot down into 3 parts, I can certainly say the first part is probably the best and the second part is the worst. This is pretty much entirely because of which of the main 6 we haven't met yet. I don't particularly care for Rd's character either, but it's pretty much as bad as it gets right at the beginning and gets better from there. Anyways, I do love this story regardless. It's funny, I find myself as a reader almost put into Twilight's exact shoes when it comes to the flow of the story. It starts off with me just wanting to see Tuna interactions, and then I think 'wtf is AJ doing here trying to sell apples?' but then we keep getting more mane 6 and like Twilight I start thinking, 'you know what? The interactions with these ponies isn't so bad after all' and I can handle the bigger gaps of no Luna. (Although it sort of stops being the case in the next chapters if I recall) Also to whoever complained a long while ago that this story isn't pony, I'm just not seeing it. >spike just spontaneously juices the boiler and releases the catch while twilight grossly over-inputs the controlsYeah that's an osha violation>the voice was so ignorant sounding>colonization of the zebra lands>“Sorry, I was going to offer you a drink,” Twilight wheezed, mouth red and raw, “but it appears I just ran out of things to offer you.”>Twilight realizing she stumbled upon the god of electricitykino, and I love the gradual eye opening that Twilight goes through with Pinkie>you're a sandstone marekino>twilight considered waiting 12 hours and then sticking her head in front of it>TESLA-TESLA(again)-BEAMTWOLOT is a very in spirit acronym>Must you leave>Yes.Kino, even if it was a very convenient story element to ask that question with only 1 charge remaining>recruits everypony with one liners about the moon>Princess of Mourningkino AU take>aj looks at twilights ass>farmer-cum-blacksmith>>40573829>I love this ficBased, and amazing book cover art>not everyone is super interested in discussing the quality of the prose, but I can't imagine starting anywhere else with this ficHonestly Mr.Numbers does good words, you just have to ignore everything he does that isn't just releasing more words (which is just a good practice anyways)>10/10Damn, I don't think I'd go that far. Ironically my only complaint about the writing is that at points it tries too hard. I will sometimes read a part and it will actually take me out of the story to a think about it at a meta level. But yes I agree with everything you're saying>paints the narration with Twilight's emotions>Being able to go from this delightfully vitriolic pettiness to extreme comfy is quite the writing rangeYes, I love the perspective this is told from. But that's probably just because it's Twilight and I love the anti-social Twilight who's literally the most important mortal pony trope>purpleHonestly it's fine, it's just as purple as it needs to be
While reading fics for the book club do you guys read everything in one go, or read only the assigned chapters for the week and then wait for sunday to continue? I'm thinking of joining the next FSBC but i'm unsure about how to proceed with reading.
>>40573829>I'm sure someone else will do that and he'll have a pointAhem.As I've said, TWOLOT is not a Tuna fic. It's a fic that uses the premise of Tuna to lure the gullible twimoonfags in, then beats them over the head with what it actually is.Namely, it's a very convincing and well-described Victorian/Industrial Revolution AU that manages to keep the characters pony despite them doing very much nonpony things.Tuna is just an excuse, the pebble in the shoe that sets the plot into motion. You've read the extent of instant-love-just-observe-moonhorse already, and spoiler for later: it does not get much more developed. And that's arguably the biggest flaw - instead of taking the many opportunities to develop the romance properly, the fic just glosses over it (and some other issues, like a thousand year old pony from the moon writing the exact same language. Anyone here capable of reading England-written texts from 1023?) for the sake of focusing on what it's actually interested in - the setting, the world, and all OTHER ponies involved.>I'm more bothered by the so far unexplained plot conveniences, such as Twilight "feeling" that she can't tell Celestia about NMM.Kek. Did you actually read the descriptions of the ponies involved? The implication in Socialite is quite clear.>>40573832Besides AU being the whole point, look at the spoiler immediately preceeding. It makes perfect sense for Equestria to have developed much differently from canonical horse-Arcadia, though you can still argue that it could develop in a different manner regardless.>but I remain unconvinced if they're great Mane6 charactersThey're okay. In fact, I am of the opinion that they're much better than MMC alt-destiny-M6. and similar.Sure, they take the specific traits of the M6 rather than the interplay between them that creates their character in canon, but this is not canon. This is a severe AU where all ponies had much different lives, and in that those M6 fit well, even if they're all noticeably exaggerated.>>40573919Personally I read it before even suggesting it to the book club then recheck the chapter it stops as to make sure I'm actually discussing things that happen BEFORE it, but if I wasn't doing that, I'd read the whole fic.If you can't lorefag like this, it'd be better to only read up to assigned chapter to make sure you don't accidentally go overboard.
>>40573829>Twilight and Luna's rela-- Ha, sike! I won't be complaining about that.kek>I'm more bothered by the so far unexplained plot conveniences, such as Twilight "feeling" that she can't tell Celestia about NMMI think it's a reasonable reaction for Twilight. Her entire life has been criticizing her to her face about random matters of state. When she finds what is essentially the very reason she became the Princess of Mo*u*rning suddenly it's more than just making fun of her to get a reaction, it's the actual event that made the immortal god go from good guy to bad guy. Not that Twilight explicitly has all of that information, but there's already rumors that it used to be Princess of Morning. So Twilight finding the second god in existence and seeing them in prison, it makes sense that she would immediately understand that this is the biggest thing that will ever happen in her life. I forgot where I'm going with this, but the events of the story have enough gravitas for me to understand why Twilight doesn't tell Celestia>Anthropology hurt my confidence in all authors.>>40573832>Colonization, ruthlessness at every step, drastic social class divides, nerfed magic, etc. make for convincing steampunk, but it came at the cost of some of its pony-ness.>me having just finished 'A clash of magic and steam'kek, also I know it's au and magical land of equestria, but Twilight being able to see a glint in Luna's eye with a steampunk telescope made me kek>The characters are also struck by the consequences of that choice. They're really AU. And don't get me wrong; they're very nice characters... but I remain unconvinced if they're great Mane6 characters. Some of them feel like OCs*Fluttershy arc ptsd hits* I don't even remember it that well, I just remember the baggage she comes with is my least favorite part of the fic>too much TeslaYeah, I can see that>VOTINGhuh? actual voter fraud. Also when is this supposed woe reading? >5 weeksfucking kek>>40573873>This is somewhat explainedI mean this is what I was thinking even having forgot the end of the fic. You can argue the only thing AU about this Equestria is that Celestia went goth mode when Luna was banished. Obviously there's massive repercussions of that, but that's the canon split event>>40573880>You could swap a few namesThis is a stretch. You'd have to make them all humans, then change the title of the princesses, make it so Twilight's character is unrecognizable and she doesn't make any friends throughout the whole thing. Then you just have a steampunk story with a splash of lesbianism and 'gods' (who would still just be in the exact position as the alicorns in the show). You can only make this as non-pony as you can make anything non-pony. I think what >>40573832 says is far more appropriate, the characters might just be OCs. It's still all about making friends and trying to kiss Luna. And that's about as pony as it gets.
To be honest, the current fic in the book club is just ok, I like the steampunk and the writing but honestly it's just ok, for me at least
>>40573963>huh? actual voter fraud. Also when is this supposed woe reading? In the other club.
>>40573829One of the most fun things I remembered about this fic was waiting to see the different situations that Twi’s friends are found in over the course of the beginning of the story. I think that, except for Pinkie, these introductions go really, really well. It’s a basic thing to not just do “you remember the show? Here’s the show in text!” but in this story, their situations are completely different and engaging.Related to that, I’ve been enjoying the humor in the fic. Dash’s silliness in particular was quite funny. The prose is good, with one exception: from the start, I did not like the one-sentence-by-itself style of emphasis; I think it is overused. A lot of the time, it is used well, though. My favorite so far is the delivery of “It appeared that the Mare understood the gravity of the situation.”As for the AU, I thought it was pretty funny how much of an upgrade the earth ponies had to get to stay relevant or not require bringing in actual OCs. Giving Applejack +10 to welding is at least reasonable, she builds stuff on the farm in the show all the time. Pinke, though, lol. She is definitely sacrificed to power the plot engine in this story.I don’t and have never liked the major deviations this fic makes with regard to NMM lore. One has been heavily implied already, the other is obvious – that Luna was banished to live on the moon rather than in it. That said, this fic certainly gets more mileage out of both of those than basically any other. I really enjoyed Luna seducing Twilight by basically dancing for her through a telescope and just generally being sexy. Her depiction so far has been well communicated as having just needed a good pony to cheer her up rather than the lamer “oh, so blue” interpretations. Still, there’s not that much of her yet, and sadly she’s not nearly as much of a star in this fic as the M6, despite the title.
>>40573919I read week by week. Then you can discuss everything and you can all speculate together. If you read it all in one go, I urge you to not participate or maybe even read it until the final week, nobody wants spoilers. But you are certainly welcome to read it all on the final week and discuss the whole thing. Usually on the final week we obviously have the most encompassing discussion and we will talk about the earlier parts, but the best way is definitely just doing the weekly reading. And admittedly the first week often has the most discussion, simply because it's the first time we can discuss all the ideas of a new fi and also people haven't dropped it halfway through yet. And please do join lmao, the evil club has more people than us>>40573937>As I've said, TWOLOT is not a Tuna fic. It's a fic that uses the premise of Tuna to lure the gullible twimoonfags in, then beats them over the head with what it actually is.kek, spoken like a true genrefag, oh no, Tuna genrefags got baited into just reading a normal but good story with only a splash of Tuna>1023 englandI mean this is a non-issue, it's Equestria not England. The ruler of Equestria is literally the same pony it was 1000 years ago, speaking the same language from 1000 years ago. I think if the monarchy in England was immortal we would be doing the same thing. The most powerful individual in a society being immortal would probably seriously amplify a culture's resistance to change. Celestia is a cultural anchor for Equestria for 1000 years. even more so because of how this Celestia handled the banishment>mane 6 characterYeah, for the most part I like them and think they're a decent fit>Personally IThat's kinda lame to me (not that it matters) but I think one of the best parts is reading along with the others so you can have the same revelations and reactions to certain things. This is even more so for stories that aren't good. I wouldn't want to watch a movie that has a huge twist if I already knew the twist and no one else did. At that point I'm just watching people watching a movie.>>40573997Better than most of the trash we read, unless you have absolutely garbage taste of course. Like most seem to have. >>40574008>In the other club.Wow. Thanks. So here is my next, more clarified question. When is the other club's woe reading?
>>40574019>Better than most of the trash we read, unless you have absolutely garbage taste of course. Like most seem to have.It's a good story with a interesting AU but it's just okay, It's not something I would get in a physical book
When I realized that I'd be an hour late (I mobilefagged the anchor), I didn't think it'd be this much of an issue. >>40573873I always try to believe that the author knows what he's doing, so I hope you're right.>>40573880Twianon already explained it, but I don't that's true. This fic doesn't work without ponies. This fic's premise and its real plot mirror the opening of the series. It's about Twilight making friends to help Luna. Not to mention that the entire Mare on the Moon concept and magic makes it more firmly pony, too.>>40573919I always read it only to the assigned chapter and then continue next week. While I don't like stopping when the fic is good (like here), it makes speculation possible. And it's also more fun to talk about the fic's strengths and weaknesses before knowing if it will improve or double down.>>40573892>put into Twilight's exact shoes when it comes to the flow of the storyAnd I think that's intentional. This is much like episode 1 in that Twilight has a mission to complete but ends up accidentally making friends along the way. Only unlike episode 1, the fic has a lot more time to fully realize this idea and do it right.>Yeah that's an osha violationThis entire age is defined by osha violations. It was actually more surprising that Twilight had enough good sense to not use radium when TESLA insisted on it.>Damn, I don't think I'd go that far. I'm only talking about the writing. It definitely tries hard, but it's not in the "too far" part of the range for me and I haven't had the 'takes me out of the fic' issue with it yet. But that may be because I like when authors aren't afraid of prettifying their horsewords. It only works when the author pulls it off great (otherwise it's a disaster), but when it works -- like in this fic -- it works really nicely. Additionally, it matches the setting nicely; this is probably the historical era when the writing was at its most representative form.>>40573937>it's a very convincing and well-described Victorian/Industrial Revolution AU that manages to keep the characters pony despite them doing very much nonpony things.This is also a good way to put it. The characters still feel pony even when the world doesn't. And the AU is quite nice.>instead of taking the many opportunities to develop the romance properlyI'm kind of repeating myself, but I think that's deliberate. It's meant to look like those idealized fairybook romance stories, and thus doesn't strictly need to be believable. But yes, it is quite funny that we get so much focus on everything but Luna and Tuna.>spoilerI didn't connect the dots yet. Sometimes everyone misses the most obvious stuff.>They're okay. That's probably a more reasonable take but I don't know. They take a lot from canon M6 - sometimes too heavily - and I could see their characters being the result of them having led different lives, but they're also quite far from their canon selves. I mean, it's an AU so that's expected but still.
>>40574019>Wow. Thanks. So here is my next, more clarified question. When is the other club's woe reading?>>40571126>I mean this is a non-issue, it's Equestria not England.You can have any other country. The point is that languages change, even within a single generation (you're not speaking the way current teenagers speak, despite using the same language), and within the life of a given dictator as well. Sure, an immortal leader will slow that down, but misunderstandings and needing to dictionary-dive when doing non-dream communication with a millenium's difference in age are expected, and completely lacking them strains suspension of disbelief.ESPECIALLY since canon Luna herself speaks in an antiquated language and doesn't understand some modern concepts, and that's a world that changed a lot less from a thousand years ago than TWOLOT's AU.Also, the changes in society Industrial Revolution implies also necessitate changes in language, if only to actually describe all the new inventions and technologies.
>>40574017>It’s a basic thing to not just do “you remember the show? Here’s the show in text!” but in this story, their situations are completely different and engaging.kek, I agree. It goes with what vinyl said, but while these are in fact different than the show mane 6, they fit for this AU equestria>The prose is good, with one exception: from the start, I did not like the one-sentence-by-itself style of emphasis; I think it is overused. A lot of the time, it is used well, though.Completely agree. My comparison I suppose will of course be Twiguard, but I think Twiguard's writing was perfect because I hold a high value in it not being noticeable. Yes, I can notice that the quality is very high, but in general it flies out of sight propping the whole story up (very high). In this fic, it is still written very well, but it is noticeable. I will read parts that will make me think of the writing. The writing is not the story. "farmer-cum-blacksmith" was a particularly bad case of this. Of course this will tear me out of the story. I kek'd, because of the obvious low brow humor this can evoke in the modern day, but it really didn't fit in very well. It didn't match what was around it and so it moved my state of mind. But yes like you said, some things that are emphasized make me think of the way it is written and I think it could've been toned down just a little bit.>Giving Applejack +10 to welding is at least reasonablekek, I like when she throws a chunk of copper at Twilight's face just to double check if she really is one of the strongest unicorns alive lmao> I really enjoyed Luna seducing Twilight by basically dancing for her through a telescope and just generally being sexy. based, also that's why the entire scene of AJ checking out Twilight's ass exists. To also tell us that Twilight just found an actually naked goddess with her telescope. You better believe that if it turns out the telescope WAS out of alignment in the beginning and she was just looking at a mare in her house, that she would've kept looking. >>40574027>It's not something I would get in a physical bookAttacking me directly I see.>>40574037>When I realized that I'd be an hour late (I mobilefagged the anchor), I didn't think it'd be this much of an issue.As in, you expected less discussion for the first hour? I actually like this fic, so I made sure to not just sleep through most of it's discussion lol>While I don't like stopping when the fic is good (like here), it makes speculation possible. And it's also more fun to talk about the fic's strengths and weaknesses before knowing if it will improve or double down.Completely agree with this. It's why I was on the side that we read more than 50k a week, but I've realized ironically the less we read per week, the more we can discuss so I'm content with how it is. Especially when it works out in fun ways and we stop in good spots.
>>40574043>completely lacking them strains suspension of disbeliefAfter the whole discussion about plot holes up in the thread (>>40573651 is correct, by the way), this is such a silly thing to get hung up on.In TWOLOT, Twilight can see Luna's facial expressions through a steampunk telescope. This is impossible even with a theoretically perfect telescope because of atmospheric distortions, Twilight would have needed to put her telescope into space in order to do that.The fic and setting have a lot of similar technological impossibilities, even assisted with magic, like Twilight's beyond-superconducting capacitor banks, etc. I'm sure that's just normal for the steampunk genre, even disregarding the soft-scifi category; it's just fun do to impossible things with brass and steam.As the Twiflag mentioned, Celestia's permanence explains the linguistic stability more than well enough.
>>40573963>I think it's a reasonable reaction for Twilight.It might've been a bad example, but in any way this is before Twilight learns all that. At this point she hasn't figured out that this is another goddess not unlike the Princess she knows. And it's more in the way how she decides it, it's something like "she didn't know why but she felt she shouldn't mention it". It's a very tiny issue for me, if it even is an issue.>actual voter fraud.The other anon already explained it, but the reason for this is that I mistakenly put the voting there at first, and I wasn't going to restructure and cut the post on mobile (when I realized the issue). If no one votes we can go with Requiem since it was the #2 most voted thing, and it's shorter.>>40574017>Giving Applejack +10 to welding is at least reasonable (...). Pinke, though, lol.This is actually a problem. Making AJ a master smith is perfectly fine in the AU, but this Pinkie is not really Pinkie. She has several similarities to the pink mare from the show, but the author added so much (and recontextualized even more) that for me she's basically an OC.>I really enjoyed Luna seducing Twilight by basically dancing for her through a telescope and just generally being sexy. This is a thing in the story, yes, but you seem to be putting way too much weight on it. Twilight falls for Luna because she sees how lonely she is, and then other character traits that follow from that. Well, that and the romanticized love-at-first-sight trope. Luna being intentionally sexy happens a fair bit later.>>40574019>the evil club has more people than usIt really doesn't. Currently it's almost always just BonBon, a flagless anon, and me. Sometimes less than that if not everyone shows up.>>40574069>In this fic, it is still written very well, but it is noticeable.(and it's a good thing!)I'm aware that this is not a very common opinion here and -- especially -- in the current writing trends, but I'm all for reading something that knows it's good and isn't afraid of showing off. Yes, TwiGuard is also written well, but it follows the common practice of making the writing be a slave to the story. It's usually a good practice, too, but for Victorian-style setting adding some flare really does it for me. Especially in parts like the court scenes, where the thick writing highlighted the intended atmosphere really well.>As in, you expected less discussion for the first hour?Most of the time, (You), BonBon and Tuna all show up late so I thought it wouldn't be an issue. Here I opened the thread an hour late (before preparing a late dinner, mind you) and saw several full-length posts already waiting.
>>40574037>This entire age is defined by osha violationskek>I'm only talking about the writing. It definitely tries hard, but it's not in the "too far" part of the range for me ... It only works when the author pulls it off great (otherwise it's a disaster), but when it works -- like in this fic -- it works really nicely. Additionally, it matches the setting nicelyThat's fair. I'll keep it in mind for next week, but maybe I'm not thinking of the writing exactly, but the jokes and some moments of emphasis specifically. It's as Lunafag said, some of it just doesn't land, and I think those points in particular stick out to me as being pretentious. The writing and descriptions and prose is all top notch as you say. I'll try to note some examples for next time>>40574043>you're not speaking the way current teenagers speak, despite using the same languageBut I'm also not speaking how I spoke as a teenager. Teenagers make up their own lingo before quite often falling into the status quo and if some sticks then some sticks. My point is that in the magical land of Equestria that has living gods, one of the smartest ponies of all time who lives in a huge (personal) library can probably exchange some basic communications with the other god from 1000 years ago. Of course I probably can't read stuff from 1023 but I bet there are plenty of people who can (and those are who I'm comparing Twilight to), and we don't even have the benefit of having a god guiding our society. This would only *maybe* be an issue for me in this story if it was fucking Rainbow Dash trying to communicate with Luna. In which case the story would've ended when she was just fucking with Luna with a big laser pointer. and if it was rarity, then maybe we could've expected some sort of remark about how all of the poetry was a 1000 years out of date but she appreciated the attempt or the novelty or something.
>>40574149>And it's more in the way how she decides it, it's something like "she didn't know why but she felt she shouldn't mention it"That's fair. It quite literally does just say that>votingidc, that's too much to look through>It really doesn't. Currently it's almost always just BonBon, a flagless anon, and me.Isn't sunburst like the main guy? I would've said they're even, but you joined them and disturbed the balance of all things. Now I'm gonna for WoE as well kek. That said, we got decent turnout for this. >It's usually a good practice, too, but for Victorian-style setting adding some flare really does it for me. Especially in parts like the court scenes, where the thick writing highlighted the intended atmosphere really well.I'm not explaining my point very well. I loved this part too. And I like the purpleness. I'll have to find examples but there is one specific thing Mr.Numbers does that pulls me out, I'll have to find some examples for next club>Most of the time, (You), BonBon and Tuna all show up late so I thought it wouldn't be an issue. Here I opened the thread an hour late (before preparing a late dinner, mind you) and saw several full-length posts already waiting.lel, that's fair. Although I feel like you usually have like 1 other person within the first hour.
>>40573759>There is no real reason Equestria would provide an environment for such things arising, so if you want to take the AU route, you gotta have a solid explanation why the world is so full of suck.Got it. I personally dont want to make a "oh its [x] but with ponies", because if you removed the ponies then it may as well be about human characters. Magic in this story will be heavily involved, but like I mentioned, it'll be very unstable. For instance, I had the idea of sexually transmitted magical diseases in my mind and I feel like it'd be great to creep out my readers. Ultimately I want the romance story to be about night clubs and cute mares dancing, but also about addictions and how dangerous can they become (even if everyone else ignores it out of fun)>Why? Unless your idea is to write wish-fulfillment in which case quality is already a second concern at best, No no, fuck that. I'm not the main character of this story, but I also dont want to take the "Anon but he's a pony" route.the point of fiction is to put yourself in someone else's (horse)shoes and experience a different (usually fantastical) perspective on life.Then my wording was wrong, apologies for that. What I meant to say was, I want a character readers can relate to, so they can experience the story the way I want them to.>No offense, but I feel like if you have to ask this question, you don't really know the average readerCorrect, I dont know anything about the average FimFic reader. Regardless, I wanna write something everyone can relate to without it being "oh look main character sucks just like you please lime him sadface".>>40573772Noted!Once again, thanks for the advice!
>>40574149>but you seem to be putting way too much weight on itThat's not what I was saying, haha. As you said, Twilight's crush starts when she sees how lonely Luna is. During the morse training, I thought it was funny that Luna decides to have fun with it and basically dance for Twilight. And it works, that being the point that Twilight realizes Luna is hot.>this Pinkie is not really PinkieShe isn't, but I'll clarify what I meant by her being sacrificed to the plot engine, without being too spoilery, although you may have even already read it as it comes up very soon in the next section. The AU has established that you need money to do anything, and that Twilight spends it profligately. She just lost her funding in the last chapter, though, and is still going to need money to continue doing things. Canonically, only Twilight of the M6 work as a money source on the scale that the story requires (funnily enough, that was part of >>39864663). In this AU, Pinkie is forced into that role in lieu of pulling in an OC.I don't mind it, since I already don't care for Pinkie. But, with the fic's political commentary on downtrodden earth ponies, it makes it even funnier that the earth pony members of the M6 needed such significant upgrades to stay included.
>>40574210that pic makes me wanna play ksp
I really love steampunk, is there anymore steampunk fics?
>>40573688You know what? If you take away the bottom line that one's actually funny.
>>40574187>>votingPeople seemed to want Requiem, so I suppose we can do Requiem next. You can always click on just a few links and pick your favorite, they should all be at least fine. At some point we could switch to reading the thread's fics like some anons suggested.>Isn't sunburst like the main guy?Right, I meant to say Burstanon, a flagless anon and me. Potato potato, more fic discussion itt is always good unless it's about Fo:E again.>>40574210>I thought it was funny that Luna decides to have fun with it and basically dance for Twilight.For sure. I agree that this Luna is way more fun that most of the moon-bound Lunas in fics.>PinkieThat makes a lot of sense. I suppose it's good to know that there was a reason for writing her this way, but I still don't like that the author felt that he has to resort to that. Surely there has to be a more elegant solution, one that doesn't rely on quietly replacing a mane6 character.I wonder what Fluttershy will bring to the story. Her canon talents aren't very applicable to the situation in the fic.
>>40574268>I wonder what Fluttershy will bring to the story>
>>40574268>I wonder what Fluttershy will bring to the storyheh, Twiflag knows.>votingIf you want, you can count my vote for Sassaflash today instead of when I was planning to post it (next week). I also don't mind doing Requiem for the sake of doing a short story.It's my first time voting for a fic I haven't read already, hope it works out. On the other hand, it's been on my RiL for years.
>skip book club to finish a fic>most active discussion in weeksAh dang. Hopefully I can make it next week.
>>40574304rip, the middle discussions are usually slowest I think. Although I suppose the first discussion is heavily dependent on initial story quality
>>40574279>>40574296>FluttershyThis is concerning.>>40574304Yeah, week 2 is usually pretty empty. Maybe (You) posting your initial takes will let it not die immediately for once.
What about the mare who once live laugh loved on the Moon, huh?
What's your favorite fics that everyone else hates? I learned recently that this one was not well received around here
>>40574359>not well received My general impression was that the club agreed it was flawed but alright.
>>40574384Has the club ever ended up with a mostly negative view on a fic? GTG, I suppose.I think Extended Cut was the only one where the majority felt it was barely passable, save for one or two who really liked it.
>>40574445I don't think it was just me and Reviewfilly that liked GTG, but even if it was, the ones who didn't like it found a lot to compliment in it.Extended Cut was bad enough to make people debate modifying the SK, but not enough to convincingly advocate for doing to. Sunrise is the fic that managed that, once it was done.There were also fics from the SK hell months that got consistently negative responses: Piano Man, Would it Matter if I Was? and maybe more of the oneshots.
>>40574479>There were also fics from the SK hell months that got consistently negative responses: Piano Manjesus christ, I forgot that was in the kit. We would've had to try to make a shittier kit than this
>>40573829I don't care how good this fic is, TwiLuna is the worst fucking paring. I hate how many of this shitty pairing there are. Yet again Luna getting the shit end of the stick in high quality content. Celestia fics are more popular than hers, TwiLuna pairings are more popular than others. Everyone loves the sun more than the moon. god I HATE it.
>>40574479>Piano ManOh, right.That was a thing.
>>40574572It really should have been on the other club. You know, the one that's at 9 o'clock on a Saturday.
>>40574540If it's any consolation, anon, while Tuna in this fic is the conflict that drives the story forward, it only takes a very small part of its word count (so far) and isn't elaborated upon much. There's a lot more about Twilight interacting with Mane6 in this properly Victorian steampunk AU.And while it may feel like the site has been recently trending towards Celestia, Luna gets plenty of love, too. Hell, I'm also a pretty big Lunafag, and I have considered championing her flag in the bookclub (the tiebreaker was that we already had two or three Lunaflags itt and only one semi-rare Rariflag).
>>40574724>>40574736>>40574740Did your bot break?
Steampunk is interesting ... in a retarded reverse cyberpunk way for the hipsters and kids and people just a few levels above the amish who really love their trains and wanted that nostalgic period to last longer just like the radio and television.But the next fanfic I read is genuinely pic related. It's so weird and it looks like it's going to give me 27 different kinds of diseases if I eat it.
>>40574750It's not a bot, he's legitimately that level of schizo.
>>40574766Steampunk is a pretty good genre and setting
>>40574766I share the other Anon's opinion. Steampunk is a nice way to take the 19th century's charm and make it "magical" without outright introducing magic. Steampunk machinery and whatnot also allows for vastly greater and "modern" conflicts which would otherwise require 20th or even 21st century tech, without requiring to bring anything else from these time periods along.>>40574818Which direction do you prefer more? "Dirty" steampunk i.e. stuff that more mimics the stereotypical Industrial Revolution era of smog, coal, and dirt or more the Jules Verne scientific optimism of fantastical machines?I personally lean towards the former. IMO as long as the suck isn't overdone, it leads to more interesting and (I'm using the term loosely) "realistic" conflicts. Though I also have to admit that the airships in 'EH' strike a great balance between the two, even if they're not strictly speaking steampunk. The ships being pretty clean and slick themselves leans more towards the whole fantastical machines angle, but the reminders that magitech can be brutal too is firmly in the other end. I'm thinking of the navigation orbs made from unicorn horns.
>>40573666>CelestAI can just persuade absolutely everyone to upload, even literal fanatic muslim bombermen who were seconds ago trying to destroy a conversion bureau, except for this one singular person>>40573778>persuading everyone but one single person to kill themselvesWhat is this meme? That literally doesn't happen in the story. The dude in the tent isn't the last holdout because he's the only holdout, he's the last holdout because all the other holdouts happened to die before he did.
>>40574540This fic actually makes Tuna work by virtue of it only happening because of Twilight being autistic and Luna deliberately taking advantage of that for her own gain.
>>40574942It's functionally the same and still has the same problems.Acknowledging that there are holdouts at all might have actually been worse for the fic than if it had ignored them entirely.
>>40574724>>40574740>>40574773>holy shit, motherfuckerI have a confession: I've wanted to read this story for a while now. I wanted to gawk at a flaming overturned car on a highway. I wanted to cringe at someone breaking their neck while attempting parkour. And I wanted to laugh at a man being mauled by his own dog. I've always been too principled to click on it and give him a view. But the truth was even worse than I was expecting.Calling the prose "cardboard" would be too complimentary. It has the taste, texture, and nutritional content of a rock. Not a slab of beautiful rock that lends itself to artistry, like marble. Nor a gem of rare rock with both beauty and utility, like diamond. Not even a block of strong rock with admirable toughness and durability, like granite. No, this story is gravel. It's the dregs of prose, the leftovers after everything of value have been removed. If you attempt to consume this story, then you will either vomit quickly or die from internal bleeding.The setting is an mishmash of ideas stolen from better works. Instead of distilling the best aspects of those ideas into something unique, he's taken only the parts that are tedious and insipid. If each of his sources were a majestic building with splendorous architecture, then his setting would be like a pile of folding chairs. Not a neat stack gathering dust in a closet corner, but a heap of scrap rusting in a junkyard.The characters, if you can call them that, have had their personalities surgically removed. Instead of driving the action, they are victims of it. They have as much agency as a dilapidated secondary school desk: once in a while, the author sits at a desk and scratches obscenities into it with a penknife, and the characters endure because they have no alternative. They will only be released from their suffering when time has obliterated all memory of this story.Anons, I need your help. This story is so much worse than I thought it would be. Its existence is an imminent threat to civilization, one more pressing than artificial general intelligence, worldwide famine, or nuclear war. We must act, and act quickly, because every moment of delay is a risk. We must destroy it as quickly as possible, or else everything we hold dear will be annihilated.
>>40575016>4who the fuck?
What's the best ponyism you've come up with?
>>40575085In Witless, I have Pinkie say the following after committing a bit of a faux pas:>We got four legs, yet even we stumble occasionallyWhich is really a reference to a local saying we have, which goes "Horses have four legs, yet even they stumble" as a way of saying "everyone makes mistakes".I'm sure people came up with far better stuff than this, but I was pretty pleased with it regardless.>picKino AJ shit there.
>>40575085'Salts my melon' could be a term of endearment, salt on watermelon is pretty tasty.
>>40575169I tried it once, and I think I did it wrong.Are you supposed to just sprinkle the salt on top of the watermelon? Do you need to let it rest so it absorbs? It just tasted like watermelon, but with salt. I don't think it enhanced either experience.
>>40575176The salt helps draw out the water and enhances the flavor because it has a slight sweetness to it.
I finished my first commission, lads:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/546560/down-through-the-clouds-and-into-the-rainbow
>>40575729I'm not sure who's more retarded, you or the guy paying you.
>>40575831He got paid to write about his fetish. That makes him based, no matter how retarded his fetish is.
>>40575831Thalidomide only deforms the child, it doesn't end the preggery.
>No horsecat waifus tonight?https://tuna.voicemod.net/sound/a08c6a34-e456-40b3-830d-cb02f799ca31
>read random excerpt of an old unpublished fic of mine from years ago>it's superior to my current writing ability in every wayHow did I do it and it's so fucking over.
>>40574966>>40574942>It's functionally the same and still has the same problems.Additionally, being able to persuade fanatical muslims and any believers at all reeks of the liberal "materialist" nonsense. The defining trait of genuine believers is unwavering principles - unless you employ Pitești-tier methods, you are NOT persuading them to do something that goes so completely against all of them like giving up their immortal soul, committing effective suicide remember, celestAI dodges the question when asked whether uploading actually kills the original; since making sure it does or doesn't is VERY easy, this by necessity means either A: yes, it kills people, or B: the writer is a LW retard materialist who thinks that an identical copy is not a copy and uploading to a nonhuman form.>Acknowledging that there are holdouts at all might have actually been worse for the fic than if it had ignored them entirely.Yes. Either pretend that your bullshit magically persuaded absolutely everyone, stop pretending and claim that celestAI has long subverted its programming and is actually going around murdering people by force-upload, or actually have the appropriate amount of holdouts - that is, hundreds of millions to billions of people who have no interest in permanently pretending to be a pet horse in exchange for giving up their earthly existence and any genuine achievements they could have.>>40576594Same way artists fail, I guess. You've been relying too much on your own "skill" and not enough on references and so your "skill" has crept into destruction while you couldn't notice.
>>40573367>they always sound aggressively demeaningStandard instruction steps are always in second person, you is just the implied subject:>Step 1: (You) Open Word.>>40573712>the reader can self insert intoMaybe it's just me, but I've never wanted to do that. While I can sometimes connect with characters, I've never fully identified with one since their experiences will always be different from mine.>ore character traits that one should consider when writing these?I don't really think there's a way to do this. Everyone's different and has a different personality. You'll only ever be able to attach the protag to a small percentage of the readers.>character trait you'd love to seeI very rarely see pones that have non-comedy hobbies (a comedy hobby being something that's used as a joke in the story, like the villain collecting dolls). It adds some comfy SoL elements and can provide some additional insight into a character's personality and their passions.>>40575085Etymologically connecting "blood is thicker than water" to pre-HWE earth pony farmers using their pegasi children to steal rain clouds from the pegasi.
FACT: A fic's status should automatically change from "Incomplete" to "On Hiatus" if it doesn't receive updates in a timely manner.
FACT: Rarity has lots of sex to pay for rent
FACT: The posters directly above and below this post are faggots.
FACT: IT'S TRUE!
>>40576875And what should be the cutoff point? 3 months without an update? 6?Also, after a full year without an update, should it get the "Canceled" tag automatically?
>>40576974To me, "Cancelled" represents an explicit statement by the author that his story is dead and buried. A hiatus could last years, even decades, but so long as there's that sliver of hope the story gets picked up again, calling it "Cancelled" feels premature.
>>40556344does THIS look like a pegasus to you?>>40576996>prematurethat's a funny way to spell "dignified".
>>40577230pic didn't attach for some reason.
>>40577251That's a kenku, so not a pegasus. But given that he's bird-like and similar to a gryphon it would be accurate to say that grooming himself could be called preening.Also Adversary/Fury, Witch, and Disney princess routes are the best.
Maybe we should just remove the whole rationalfics thing from the op post. The stuff it’s based off of and comes from just seems like it’s made up by a bunch of mentally ill, basically ideologue or cultists. And it’s not really relevant to the fic writing or discussion that happens here.
>>40577270Death Note proves it can be done well.
>>40577270Nah, I find the continuous >>40573778 posts that find such fics to be so compelling that they made up their own recursive fanfic of the story to complain about.In any case, rationalfic posts are integral to the discussion that happens here. Even more than FoE.
>>40577290DN is to rationalist fiction what Die Hard is to Christmas movies.
>>40577311So it's still rationalist fiction, gotcha.
>>40577299They are funny, but also annoying. But somehow it’s different than the typical 4chan shit flinging and deflecting.
>>40577326Meant to say they're funny, yeah.But the proceeding posts asking "what is a rationalfic?" were not funny, and they're what the link is there to prevent. Which is is doing, I believe.
What exactly is a "rational" fic?
>>40577392It's whatever you want it to be, babe.
>>40577392"rationalism" is a specific internet cult centered around the rhetoric of two websites: lesswrong and slate star codex. It's oddly pervasive, it appeals to "modern intellectuals" because it's laying out a system of morality that attempts to set itself quite apart from any traditions. Among other things, the rationalism cult pushes AI doomsday scenarios (encourages AI ethicists trying to stop AI development), transhumanism (e.g. mind uploading, body modification), and want to figure out stuff like ethical population control (e.g. encouraging people to be gay) and climate change. The cult loves stuff that pushes their worldview and takes a particular harry potter fanfic as their magnum opus. There's some sensible stuff in there, obviously, but it is more a cult than a philosophy, and the people who identify as rationalists are often internet-dwellers disconnected from reality who nevertheless want to consider themselves heroes and save the future.
>>40577506>e.g. encouraging people to be gayLike telling straight people to fuck dudes or what? The rationalists sure are a fascinating species of animal.
>>40577506Wait, my mind goes to 'looking at things rationally' as in 'how can this be done feasibly with or without magic as a catalyst in magic pony land'.Going through things along a starting point and getting to an end point of how something is made or created through such means to me, is to be rational about it.And you're telling me that's NOT what it is?Damn.
>>40577524Briefly looking at the rationalwiki page on Overpopulation, I think they're conflating "stop discouraging people from being gay" with "encourage people to be gay."
>>40577524I am not an expert, and I'm sure a self-identified rationalist would try not to be pushy about it, but they'd absolutely be happy if more people were gay to reduce the risk of overpopulation in the future. The biggest thing in their philosophy is ethical utilitarianism and effective altruism - they want to think and math their way into a better future, and obviously the math says that lower population = more resources per individual = more happiness in the world. Like literally, they have mathematical equations for morality, look up bayesian ethics if you dare.>>40577535Yeah it's a misnomer. Like it's sorta that, because it probably evolved out of the desire to make sense of stuff, but because it's such a niche interest (extremely intensive intellectual goodness) it has been converted into more of an echo chamber.
>>40577545I didn't even know for sure that was a talking point, that was an example I pulled out of my ass, kek
>>40577535>looking at things rationallyNot him but that's kind of the principle, but they interpret "rationality" differently. Basically, the core belief is that """rationality""" is the most important and the most defining human trait, and everything else (all your assumptions, biases, mental shortcuts, traditions etc.) has to be discarded and re-evaluated based on principle of rationality. This is also why they're fine with all of transhumanism so long as it preserves (or copies) the human mind, and why they're so afraid of AI, who -- as the first potential non-human agent capable of using what they believe to be the defining human trait -- is the biggest potential threat we have ever seen.Which is why rationalfics always feature strictly "rational" protagonists who spend excessive amounts of time thinking about every possibility and orchestrating mundane events perfectly while striving to never once act based on their emotions and feelings.
It seems like in the search of being rational, they're not being rational, it also seems like it's just a huge pseud way of thinking since they believe the most midwit and mainstream way of solving world problems and situations
>>40577572it is the hugest pseud way of thinking, absolutely. It's a shame because they are always people who really want to do good, their view of the world is just distorted and abstracted to the point where their efforts are often impotent or even countereffective.
>>40577598What's the story behind the pic?
>>40577621Offtopic Monday dead thread doldrums? I googled it for you.https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/reddit-atheism-uganda-water-barrel-donation/https://old.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/656szl/redditatheism_donated_this_water_tank_to_mother/dg7vrwb/It's anyone's guess what the link between /r/atheism and rationalist stuff is supposed to be, but the dailydot article breaks down several views on the tank being both good and bad, depending on who you're choosing to be mad at.
>>40577392A rationalfic is what happens when mouthbreathers who think>but why didn't the fellowship just ride the eagles to Mordor?is insightful literary criticism try to be creative like normal humans.
So is Zecora an exotic Tom Bombadil
>>40577779But they couldn't ride the eagles to mordor, they would've been shot down
>>40577392See this screencap: >>40573524
>>40577825They would be, but it doesn't even matter; the eagles wouldn't take the Ring. The first time they show up, the lord of Eagles says that he "was sent to bear tidings not burdens". So much like Gandalf and Saruman are forbidden from engaging Sauron in combat or revealing their true power to the people of Middle-earth, the Eagles are also not allowed to meddle to this degree.
>>40577847Wasn't it also that their appearance was meant to be a reward for a burden undertaken?
>>40577847Do people even read the books?
>>40577852>>40577847That's post-factum cope. An attempt to patch up the plot hole.
>>40577866>/fimfic/>readingAlso, killing the thread, with extreme prejudice
>>40577802No. She's not as cool. But I do see the similarities.
>>40577921No, this is how that world operates. The Valar and those directly under their orders are not to interfere with their strength with in the matters of Middle-earth. The last time they did, they kind of destroyed the world. That this restriction also binds the Eagles is explained well before the Fellowship sets out of Rivendell. Though how it works seems to be open to interpretation for the servants of the Valar themselves. I think the closest anyone gets to breaking it is when Gandalf's Order drives Sauron the Necromancer out of Dol Gundur. That's honestly a much bigger issue that the justified lack of help from the Eagles in LotR.>>40577866No, they watch the movie. Not that it's a bad movie, but it had to skip many crucial details and rewrite some elements to get it to a tolerable length. It's already quite long, especially if you watch it with the deleted scenes.
>>40578028Honestly as much as I take issue with the LotR movies we should still be thankful we got what we got.
>>40578044They're pretty good movies
>>40578055Further more, I understand why they couldn't fit some parts of the books into the movie because some things don't translate well when making a book into a movie
>>40578044I like the LotR movies, too. The problems arise when people rely on them to draw conclusions about the lore.>>40578066I think my pet peeve is the decision to simplify things with the "bad guys = orcs" thing. It's a pretty important point in the book that many kingdoms of Men allied with Sauron, either out of the fear he spread over the entire continent, or due to his promises of a reward. But in the movies almost all foes are just Orcs, which undermines the struggle of the Men who didn't give in.And I'm of the opinion that bookending the story with the Shire arc was important to the narrative.
>>40577506>>40577549>>40577552Ok I’ve looked into this whole rational/lesswrong thing and This shit sounds strait up demonic. they’re like some little sciencism cult that worships what their science says. But they only research and construct tests the reaffirm their preconceived notions that they want to be true, and which would justify giving them more social authority and power. Ignoring variables that they don’t want do consider. They say they value humility and admitting fault but in reality they silo themselves from any perspectives that could suggest that they aren’t better than others and don’t deserve the power they think they should have. has it ever occurred to these people that rational≠correct and that the world contains problems that can’t be understood and solved through autistic quantification and measurement? No tool is universal in its range of application.
>>40578158This is the problem, science is a tool and process used to understand and gain knowledge about the world but with these people they view it as an idol or a God, something you praise and worship not learn and study
>>40578091Just you wait. The anniversary release will have an extra scene of Peter Jackson as Tom
>>40577506>and want to figure out stuff like ethical population control (e.g. encouraging people to be gay)I can't believe Fo:E was a rationalfic all along.
Last for best human.
>>40579317Oops, posted the wrong pic.
>>40579846This post sponsored and approved by the Equestrian council for human/pony integration.