What is a 'Satyr Abomination' thread about?A satyr is what happens when a human and a pony decide to get freaky and end up having a child. The top half is mostly human, the bottom is from pony mom (or pony dad). This thread is dedicated to the art and written works about these lovable creatures.>What about other species?The show had quite a few different intelligent species by season 8, 'everycreature' and all. Pick your poison, but /mlp/ is mainly into ponies.>What is the world/characters/personalities & attributes?The most common setting is one or multiple Anons in Equestria. Most of the established characters are in the list below, the personalities mostly vary from green to green. Just ask the thread about common headcanons.Satyrs by Parent: https://pastebin.com/d7T2GaDkStory by Parent: http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5Author List: http://pastebin.com/RFgtrECqPisscord:https://discord.gg/4yAUDzKOutdated as fuck Dropboxhttps://www.dropbox.com/sh/m74cw1zph214irq/AACgNqIgES4fQORdx3rooQoVa?dl=0>old thread: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40417806
>the background onesjust going to say it because I believe in being honest, but I find the apple and fluttershy satyrs to be pretty meh
>>40550282What about them is so meh to you? I mean, you can basically have them be whatever. So is it the satyrs' pony parents that you find meh?
>>40550323>you can basically have them be whateverI like them to be sluts
>>40550350>I want children to be slutsI pray that pedos like you aren't the majority in this general.
>>40550350hi mehow does satyr dating work anyway?
>>40550370>Find someone, be it satyr, pony, griffin or whatever race, that sounds and/or looks nice enough>Go on a date with him or her>Go on more dates if you really like him or herYour question makes it sound like dating is a whole other world for satyrs alone than it is for humans and ponies.
>>40550416>c'mon this is 4chan you date, right? what you've never been on a date? weird..this place is weirdhaha, needed a good laugh this early in the a.m.
>>40550366>childrenWhat is "aging"? I'll take "Wow, You Can't Really be this Fucking Stupid" for $500, Alex
>>40550442>And the clue; THIS satyr is so fucking stupid, they thought a quarterback was a refund.
>>40550442>What is "aging"?>It's ok to lewd kids because they'll be old enough eventually!What the fuck am I reading?
>>40550463There are plenty of pictures of most of the satyrs aged up, retard. They're not going to be kids forever
>>40550071This is the one place where anthro would fit. Good thing it's banned so the faggots don't have their own on-topic thread.
>>40550481>This is the one place where anthro would fitNo, fuck off
>>40550442>>40550466New? You act like this is the first time you've encountered ComplainAnon.Nothing you say to him will have any affect, he's been doing this same exact thing since 2014. Best to just ignore him.>>40550370When a satyr and her Daddy like each other very much...
>>40550535>Patron Saint of Virility and ConceptionPraise be upon her name
>>40550540Some would say the holy child Taffy, first spawn of saint Gumdrop, is inbred.But the faithful knows that she is purebred.
>>40550493Questions about Murmur.1. How is her relationship with her father when she's not competing with her sister for his attention?2. As an adult, what does her family think of her husband?3. What does her husband's family think of her?
Murmur always wins her arguments
>>40550466>>40550535>There's art of them as adults, so sexing them when people post art of them as kids is ok>Ignoring the point completelyYou're just trolling at this point, aren't you?
>>405505971. She honestly doesn't care much about him. Getting her mom pregnant with her and then ditching her mom, leaving Murmur to be raised alone with only her mother, put a permanent mental scar on Murmur. The whole attention thing is merely to try and piss off her older half-sister.2. Her dad and half-sister really like him. Her mom just loves him, maybe a bit too much, which annoys Murmur a little.3. Her working as a butcher for the griffins and other meat-eaters in Equestria for a living was a bit off-putting at first, but they slowly got to know how sweet she can be when she wants to be. The pony who married her can consider himself real lucky.
>>40550493>Posts anthro/human hybrids>"No anthro, fuck off"Verification not required.
>>40550751>Getting her mom pregnant with her and then ditching her mom, leaving Murmur to be raised alone with only her mother, put a permanent mental scar on Murmur.When was this ever a thing?
You know what? I'm just gonna hide his posts from now on. He's pulling shit out of his ass now.
>>40550783>He's pulling shit out of his ass now.What are you even talking about? Is it the Murmur thing that's got you upset?
>>40550783>You know what? I'm just gonna hide his posts from now on.Congrats, you're now doing what every other sane person does.Now take the next step and talk about you like instead of what you hate.
>>40550774That is basically what happened. Why else isn't Anon and Arrhythmia together? Murmur's just good at hiding her feelings.
>>40550828I like slutty satyrs
>>40550839I presumed it was a 1 night stand or otherwise she wasn't interested.Because by all accounts, Batdad is a super dedicated parent, many interpretations having him essentially sacrificing all free time and youth to provide.So either Murmur stayed with a single dad, or flit between both homes with him doing his best for her.
>>40550839Personally I operate under the idea that long term relationships are a rarity among bat ponies, and that typically the raising of a child would be a more communal role often heavily involving older siblings. Murmur and her husband's relationship is looked at as being unusual but not weird or unheard of.
>>40550848I like incestuous ones. In my headcanon, HFAS, or Hybrid Familial Attraction Syndrome is a very real thing, and it's more weird if a satyr girl DOESN'T try to bed her father.
>>40550852I like the idea of Murmur spending her time moving between both her parents, spending her summers and some holidays with her dad. That way she at least has both a mother and father figure in her life.
>>40550852>So either Murmur stayed with a single dad, or flit between both homes with him doing his best for her.Murmur was born and raised by her mom, so she had to have lived with her for some time. And a child leaving one parent forever just like that for no big reason is kinda messed up, so a flit between both homes seem most likely.>>40550856>and that typically the raising of a child would be a more communal role often heavily involving older siblingsWhat if the family only has one child to begin with? Do children of other batpony families treat them as their own siblings? That honestly sounds so damn sweet. Now I want to see a young Yuzu or Murmur playing tag or something with other batpony kids around her own age.
>>40550864>other batpony families treat them as their own siblings?Pretty much. Raising a batyr or bat pony foal alone is very unusual and typically the child would grow up considering every member of their close-knit community as some form of aunt or uncle. I imagine bat ponies and batyrs as having a very strong in group preference and tending to look out for one another. For Yuzu especially, having been raised exclusively or almost exclusively in a single parent environment, finds the overly familial behaviour of more typical batyrs a little uncomfortable as they treat her as a new friend or distant cousin despite never having met her before. She would be considered quite aloof by their standards.Now I'm picturing almost like an Amish community vibe.
>>40550899I wonder if /bat/ would like this idea?
>>40550899>an Amish communityI was thinking more Gypsy
>>40550934That would explain the increase in missing clothes pegs.
>>40550899>Be Yuzu.>Passing through small bat pony village while on your first ever solo vacation.>Very nervous.>Smile and nod politely at another batyr you see that looks around your age.>Before you have time to argue you're now on a first name basis, you know half their life story, you're invited over to their family's home for dinner that night and she wants to introduce you to her brother who she thinks would be a a perfect match for you.>By the way her grandmother's having a yard sale next week and they could use and extra pair of hands moving poxes out of the attic.
>>40550597>1. How is her relationship with her father when she's not competing with her sister for his attention?Despite being much more independent than her half-sister she still very much values the limited time she has with him and often resents how Yuzu insists on being so possessive of him.>2. As an adult, what does her family think of her husband?Totally flabbergasted that he isn't some traditionally attractive type that Murmur was assumed to eventually want to nab for herself. Her family would never have thought that she'd be at all interested in a guy like him, but they genuinely like him as he's clearly very caring, devoted, hard working and loyal.>3. What does her husband's family think of her?When they first started seeing each other it was assumed that she was just stringing him along for the sake of him helping her with her school work, but as the years went by they began to see her as less the typical pretty girl and more for her softer side. She will absolutely threaten to murder anybody that so much as thinks about hurting her children.>>40550950Damn batyrs wanting free legal counsel just because "bats flock together".
>>40551317I'd gladly consider that cake
where the snussy at?
>>40551317Considered, observed, noticed, contemplated, pondered, regarded, scrutinised, examined, studied, speculated, evaluated and dare I say even excogitated.All in all I have deduced that she is donk.
found this interesting tidbit on the Satyr wiki page "is a male nature spirit with ears and a tail resembling those of a horse, as well as a permanent, exaggerated erection."
>>40551645They should probably go see a doctor, it's not meant to last more than four hours.
Some lineart of some beeg girlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtUQ5HCuZbE&ab_channel=MarocGun
>>40552498What a wonderful date! I got stabbed AND got tetanus!
>>40552151terrible, as usual
>>40552651Hey quit your mule-ing over there, pal, I said 'nice' ass!
>>40553038Glad i'm still constant
>>40550071Would you raise abandoned satyr orphans?
>>40553509No matter what I think, my pony wife would no doubt say yes and convince me to do the same simply because it's the right thing to do.
>>40553509Yes, I remember skeletyr.
>>40552498>Expose her wile fucking crimes against Equestria>Get promoted to Captain of the goddamn Royal guards>Continue your bloody rampage across Equestria to find all criminalsRip and tear until all crime is gone and harmony is restored.Don't ask me how Celestia raised that kid
>>40553605>>40553810>Yfw your two satyr girls call you “daddee” for the first time
>>40553821But did he fuck Bella (and made her a good mother) after chasing down Mal?That's my question.>Don't ask me how Celestia raised that kidHe saw this video one timehttps://youtu.be/UlmXn7Fy4C4?si=vQdOowefCi6ZkIgb
>>40550282Most of the original satyrs are just "the pony but satyr".Most of the Apple satyrs fall on the hole
>>40552151PG version because the last one was too hot for 4channel
I kindly request that Kimmy & Mera stop leaving little wicker men and effigies around the forest. It's scaring the local scout group.
>>40554921You're trespassing on a homestead. Camp somewhere else, that's DGA country.
>>40553976Nice furry chick, bro
Imagine how bad satyrs smell
>>40555032Snapshot smells of coconuts, but regardless we're going to have to ask you to refrain from sniffing the satyrs.
>has shit art style>posts shit art>gets no (You)s>STILL posts shit art>started drawing satyrs 8 years ago>STILL hasn't improved>STILL POSTS SHIT ART
>>40555032Yuzu discovered that she was named after an earth fruit by her [DADDY] and has been obsessed with citrusy scents ever since
>>40555206I think DJ is pretty good tho
>>40555032Grass and cheap deodorant
>>40555239DJ started drawing satyrs 10 years ago, not 8, you fool
>>40555298really? i'm not autistic enough to keep track of that
>>40555307Derpibooru, fool>"posted x years ago"
>>40555315Ok, chill down Peter Parker, i will not run an investigation on anyone, i don't care. You keep doing you, i will post pretty satyrs
>>40555330No! I'm almost...wait...ok. Continue.
>>40555217>obsessed with citrusy scents ever sinceBoys, I'm fucking in! Pic related is one of my current aftershaves.
>click post>"You seem to have mistyped the CAPTCHA">click "Get Captcha">"Verification not required"
>>40555671>"Ahahaha~ You didn't say the magic word."She can't get Jurassic (satyr) Park back online without Nedry.
>>40555671I'm impressed that she's managed to find the exact same style of dress to wear all throughout her life. Unless maybe she gets them tailor made.
>>40555206Lmao, so what, i do this for shit and giggles, of you dont like it... well, sucks to be (you)
>>40555758how does an artist get WORSE over time? like, I thought people improve when they've been drawing, but goddamn...
>>40555671Good girls practise correct trigger discipline.
>>40555973So this is clearly a Glock, but what's this if it's supposed to be anything in particular and not just a generic pistol? >>40555671 It almost looks like a modernised take on a 1911 but with a flared out end to the magazine well and some aggressive cuts made at the rear of the slide for better grip.
>>40555920I did the second to make her look more bulky, dummy.Now stop acting like a Karen and post something that you like instead to cry like manbaby.
Btw, Timber still shit
>>40556061Don't ask how gun nuts who ends up in Equestria even managed to create guns or why said guns look the way they do. They work with what they have.Maybe someone's found the EqG mirror in Twilight's castle and smuggles it from there?
Think of a satyr.Would that satyr want to know more about the kind of work their mom and/or dad does?>Take your child to work dayHow would such a day end?
>>40557404with incest sex
>>40554371It her!Very nice doodle, my dood
>>40558457don't fucking lie. his "art style" is shit
oh wait. i get it. he's samefagging his own shit
>>40558663>inb4 edited screenshot removing the (You) of one post
>>40556061What can you tell me about this flintlock?
>"Daddy, can I suck you?"Yes, sweetheart*offers a vein*
>>40558671Looks like it was property of the Night Lords judging by the emblem on it.
>>40558125"Gumdrop, are we gonna talk about the family bakery between point A and B here, or we just 2koma'ing straight to the end?"
>>40558704>offers a vein>not dickDo you even love her?
>>40558665This has to be some of the most schizophrenic shit I've ever seen on this site, and that is saying a lot. No, dipshit, I actually do appreciate people spending any time of their day to draw art of my character, no matter the skill level. Unlike you, where you've spent YEARS fucking being a useless crybaby piece of shit. You'd think by now you would just do what you enjoy instead of being a waste of countless bitchy posts, but no, the mental illness you posses is relentless and undying.So whatever, go back to doing what you're an expert at and be a whiny little faggot.
>>40558745Incestuous Yuzu is best Yuzu. Fite me
ha. so obvious and pathetic
>>40558766I will not fight a kindred spirit. You have my axe, brother.
>>40558770Then let us use our combined arms to fight off complainanon
>>40558800Eh, ignore him. The faggot's been at it for almost 10 years, that tells you all you need to know about the life he lives.More fun things, what are your unpopular incest headcanons? Maybe you know it makes no sense, maybe you don't think the thread would ever accept it before we were in our winter days.
so...if you cum in a satyr...what would their offspring look like...as far as genetics goes?
>>40558952I go with the idea that a female satyr will always give birth to another satyr, though with some of the father's species' traits.
>>40558745All I see is a bratty bat in need of correction.
>>40553846what is this image and why do I keep seeing it?
Can we go back to wanting to raise satyr sons and daughters instead of being schizophrenic drama queen coomers?
>>40559187You can, I like a little of both.
>>40559187It's been years, I'm too busy with the grandkids at this point. Going to take Satsuma camping and teach her how to fish.
>>40558745I wonder what would happen if Yuzu ended up on Earth and walked into a crowded church congregation. I mean hooves, fangs, bat-like wings, she basically looks like a stereotypical demon."In the name of God, this foul demon must be exorcised.">"Hey, are you calling me fat? I'll have you know I exercise three times a week. You can also stop waving that lower case T at me as well or whatever it is you're trying to do."
>>40558826You really refuse to accept that new people can join this general who aren't as crazy as you are over making everything people post be about porn, don't you? Everyone is your boogeyman, every, single, time.
I'd think of a greentext prompt, but incestanon would probably just ruin it as always.
>>40559313>It's been years, I'm too busy with the grandkids at this pointMaybe for you. I'm staying at the time where Twilight still has her Treebrary so the two of us can live a comfy life there together with our two kids.
>>40560344That's alright, nobody needs a useless idea guy trying to get people to write his interests for him.
>>40560344make something about this>>40552498>>40553821>>40553976
Totally forget this was a ship back in the day
>>40560980I get that this was the last of the Nightmare night candy, but still, and feel free to tell me I'm jumping the gun a little here, I can't help thinking this is maybe just possibly a tiny bit gay.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPQT0nHkVUY
>>40559313>take Satsuma camping and teach her how to fish.Just cheat and bribe Buoy Belle to go hook some whoppers to Sumi's line so she can get a confidence boost. Come to think of it, I bet Buoy could make a decent living as a spear fisherman hunting for uncommon catches for local seafood restaurants.
>pushing your kids out of the house and into the work world at such young agesbunch of boomers, remind me of my dad and all his unironic grindstone firm handshake schlock
>>40550848Time to change the locks and bar the windows. If she's going to dress like she belongs to the streets then she can damn well live on them.Not really though, but she will be getting a frown of disapproval.
>>40562419It's not pushing them out if the work is at the very place where they live.I bet Cider would just scoff at those who moans about being told by their parents they have to get a job. She's been helping her parents with the farm since she was a child, try switching place with her for a day.
>>40562419>waaaaahhh the state should pay me for jacking off in mom's basemrmt all day
>>40563074heh, neatit's cool meeting likeminded people, but what's a basemrmt?
>take satyr to earth for thanksgiving How do your parents/family react?
New big bleat daughteru.
>>40563894Into the crazy house i go
>>40565257Stop giving him (You)s
>>40563894>Bring satyr to thanksgivingMy uncle would just go:>"..Dude, I want those hooves scuffing up my floor.">>40564609W O O L Y
what happens if they go through a portal to eqg world?
>>40566486>Satyr 1: "Hey, you wanna try that mirror portal thing?">Satyr 2: "..That'd mean we'd have to go to Rory's...and his mom's probably there.">Satyr 1: "So, what? You afraid of a fat purple mare eating hayburgers?">Satyr 2: "-It's a weird, ugly castle, that smells like fast food, dude. Do you REALLY want to visit uh..Alt!Questria that much?">Satyr 1: "Meh..I guess you're right. Let's go bully Cardio for nudes of his Aunt."TA DAA~
>>40566490>Do you REALLY want to visit uh..Alt!Questria that much?Sounds like that satyr's already been there.
>>40566097Cashmere, my friend. It's superior to wool.
Which satyrs do you think are the best and worst cooks, outside of those that work in a food related job?
>>40569063>outside of those that work in a food related job?Why should they be excluded? If there's one thing Gordon Ramsay's TV shows has shown, it's that those who work in kitchens can sometimes be horrible at what they do.
>>40569166I feel like it'd be a little unfair to judge just regular satyrs alongside those that cook for a living. Maybe have two separate categories, one for amateurs and one for pros.
>>40569063for a second i thought you were asking about dicks
>>40569230Don't be ridiculous, I'm sure the satyr girls at school don't have a list of boys sorted by dick size and desirability. I sure they don't gossip about who's the most and least endowed at sleepovers at all.>>40569063Nettle is surprisingly good, though she's too self deprecating to ever admit it.
>>40569250>Nettle is surprisingly goodShe's the kind of girl that would cook you the most expansive and meticulously prepared breakfast in bed, apologise for waking you up and then tell that because she didn't know what you liked she just made everything, and that if you don't want it she doesn't mind if you don't eat it. It's not like she spent two hours preparing it or anything.Don't ask why she's preparing breakfast in bed for a stranger or she'll blush and have to leave the room.
>>40569166Pogo sure wasn't cut out to take up mom or dad's mantle in baking, that's why he became a detective instead.>"I can make thugs and criminals cry but can't get a damn souffle' to rise..." *sad party commences*
>>40569250You almost make it sound like the female satyrs go to a school only for satyrs and not a school in Equestria along with other young ponies and griffins.
>>40569935Wonder if his parents are proud of his work, or if they, deep down inside, wants him to become a baker like them simply because it's a safe job?>They worry every day that Pogo's name will be on the obituary side in the newspapers
>>40570408What... are you on crack?
>>40571056Hey, if I was wrong about you kinda making it sound like a>satyrs onlykind of thing, then my mistake. Just be aware that satyrs can have friends that aren't satyrs. No need to hurl out insults like an asshole.
satyr x satyr > any other kind of ship
>>40571749This. And lewd 'em up
>>40572332Stop posting pictures from that one photo shoot my daughteru did in college. She was mislead as to its nature and only agreed in the first place because it paid really well.
>>40572387She told you that?Bro, she was drunk as fuck
>>40571749Screw that. Satyrs aren't racist.
>>40573299>preferences make me racistWhat is this tumblr mindset?
>>40573539>Satyrs are only attracted to other satyrs>In a world where their parents are two different races>And where they grew up with the children of other speciesWhat is this mindset?
>And stay away from that catbird girl Alex whatsherface..got too much of that beaky shekel-grubbing griffon blood in her.Jesus christ raimi satyr
>>40570408Bring back segregation now.
>>40573944haaahaaaa push that tushevery satyr move to da backa da bus
>>40573299>satyr x satyr? wtf are you racist?!>adult pony x young satyr? so good and no pedo at all!go back to twitter
post more, that usually puts the breaks on it's complain train
>>40574067Don't let the gray mane fool you, Mayor Mare is younger than she looks. And satyrs in general seem to look younger than they are. I have yet to see an old satyr in a wheelchair or a retirement home.
>>40574102>I have yet to see an old satyr in a wheelchair or a retirement home.Buoy Belle uses a wheelchair when on land and Nettle can be found in the retirement home on weekends reading to the residents.
>>40573874>Parent tells satyr kid to stay away from other parent's satyr kid because those two parents have a problem with each otherWe know it happens in real life. Could such a thing happen in Equestria as well?
>>40572387"Why is aunty Yuzu sat on that couch and why are all those zebras stood behind her like that?" - Cardio, moments before clicking a link that will forever change how he views his aunt.
>>40555330Who is this cutie?
>>40576047Are satyrs taking back their future?
>>40576061I would hope so.
>>40576060Hiki, Bella's sister >>40575303
>>40576026Is this how she could afford to start her own legal firm so soon after graduating law school? I mean she only worked a few years as an associate then junior partner at Leach & Lamprey before going independent.
>>40576102She did it for free.99
>>40574160>Group of unorthodox satyrs solving crimesI'm calling them The Handi-Capables.
>>40576415As long as she used a screen name. Don't want her family stumbling upon that video.
>>40578565What's that, her Baturbate account?
Hey whats that emopony guy's name? He draws the one emo pon and Maud satyr together, right?
>>40577974Yuyu, the lawyer of love
>>40578829>Hey whats that emopony guy's name?Lazerblues?
>>40578951Are they still around here? Or on discord
>>40579035He still posting in here and spam discord with sketches
>>40578829>Maud satyrwe have one?!
>>40579417Somebody mentioned a legendary lost zebra city of gold and Darcy's genetically ingrained urge to plunder and civilize the place kicked in.
>>40580041"You see, it's not really stealing. I'm taking their gold as both payment for teaching them of our lord Jesus but equally to help them avoid the sin of avarice."
>>40579093A girl with abs and a brick for brain
>>40582199I want to lock him in a permanent chastity cage and fuck him until he drips like a leaky faucet. No homo.
>>40582368>No homo.Oh shit, thank god you said no homo, you got me for a second there.
>>40582368>I want to lock him in a permanent chastity cageI could see Bella being into this and pegging, because she's got a lot of issues.
>>40582451Her total lack of a father figure has led her to want to emasculate men. This is why it's important to play an active and caring role in your daughteru's life.
>>40582849>Her total lack of a father figure has led her to want to emasculate men.I can dig this
>>40582451You'd think, but she's actually a fan of /collared/.She can yap about how much she hates humans, but she really wants a man to just 2koma and own her.
>>40583439>but she really wants a manOr a pony. Or maybe a griffin? They seem to get a bit more violent than other races if you take their things or do other stuff.Now I can totally imagine Bella dating a griffin who's sweet on the outside, but at nights does things others wouldn't dream of that she loves. Those sharp talons can please her in ways no hooves or hands can.
>>40583914Still thinking this paladin can make her a proper trad wife >>40553821
>>40583431She only has sex in the reverse mating press position.
>>40584404Serch "amazon potition" in google
>>40583914Nah, she exclusively fucks human men.
>>40583914Gee... i wonder who's behind this post?
>>40585701Fire up the oven, we've got a turkey to cook.
>>40585370Is this the look Mistake gives Murmur at family gatherings knowing that she's fucking Batdad and that Murmur can't say shit about it?
>>40586379Yes.Also when she realized she could pronounce her name Meez-taah-kay like it's moonrune to combat her mocking her name, but she can just keep strong arming Murmur into calling her mom anyway.
>>40586379Telepathically communicating that "Your dad nutted in me less than twenty minutes ago."
>>40586379>>40586512>>40586500I can imagine them staring daggers at one another across the breakfast table and exchanging barbs in forced whispers as Batdad cooks up a morning feast.>"I swear, if you answer 'fertilized' one more time when my dad asks you how you want your eggs I'm going to clock you in the side of the head so hard you'll be seeing stars for a week.""That's really no way to speak to your future step-mother, but don't worry, I'm not in the mood for eggs today. I think I'll just have a chocolate and hazelnut crepe instead. Hmm... although on second thought I did already swallow a lot of nuts last night and I don't want to get fat.">"Step-mother my ass, you're literally the same age as my sister and I'll never call you that even if my dad does have bad enough judgement that he marries you.""I'm actually three months older than Yuzu, not the same age. By the way, can you pass the orange juice?">"Go fu-""That's okay, I can bend over and reach it myself. I am very flexible after all, just ask your daddy. I hope you don't mind me calling him that, I think I quite like it."
>>40586782That night Mistake made sure to loosen the screws on the bedframe just enough to make it extra squeaky without it falling apart, knowing that Murmur would be sleeping in the room nextdoor.
>>40586891"He likes the mating press, I don't mind, I can put my hooves behind me ears. And even if he snapped off one of my legs because he's so much bigger and stronger than me, it'll grow back when I molt."
>>40585370>Grow up in a world surrounded by ponies and griffins>With only a handful of satyrs and humans here and there>"I want nothing but humans. Everything else fuck off just because."No offense, but that just sounds kinda dumb and makes her sound like a genuine bitch. I'm sticking with her boyfriend being a griffin.
>>40586992I have absolutely no idea why this comment reminded me of this scene.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RINHjxsPOEgMaybe because for a split second I remembered all the weird, non-typical satyrs we used to have and that somebody fucked Angel bunny at some point to give us the rabbit satyrs.
>>40586782"That's okay, I can bend over and reach it myself. I am very flexible after all, just ask your daddy. I hope you don't mind me calling him that, I think I quite like it.">"You're disgusting.""I know, your daddy called me a dirty girl a whole lot last night, though I guess I had it coming."
>>40585370Nah, she sits down on the local restroom (the one with the glory hole) to wait for the human mean... that he hates so much!
>>40585370>>40587159You really seem to like human men.
>>40587159She better not be re-enacting that one gloryhole webm with the cigarette lighter.
>>40587177I'm the second post and nah, i just like the idea of Bella's hate against humans also hides a secret lust for them.it's funny imo.>>40587097>>40586512>>40586782So this is how Yuzu went from a lovely kid to wine single mom.She needs better friends and cut ties with those two asap
>>40587250>She needs better friends and cut ties with those two asap>Yuzu picks up her phone and upon seeing who's calling let's out a sigh."Yes, Murmur, what do you want?">"Damn, we haven't spoken in weeks and that's all you can say to me?""Sorry. Hey sis, good to hear from you. Now what do you want?">"Just thought you should know that dad's dead.""What‽">"Not really, I just wanted to make sure you were listening.""Never joke about that again!">"So listen, I need a babysitter on short notice."Their relationship's fine.
>>40587159>local restroom (the one with the glory holeShe's gonna pleasure so many other species until a human kinky enough to use a hole in the Men's restroom arrives that she'll love ponies instead.
>>40587247Only dirty dicks get the lighter special
>>40587250>So this is how Yuzu went from a lovely kid to wine single mom.To be fair she does have a pretty high stress job, so maybe a glass or six of wine now and then isn't so bad as long as she's happy.
>>40587294>so maybe a glass or six of wine now and then*durning the lunch
>>40587294Being a lawyer in Equestria can't be that hard. Unless she's the kind of lawyer who takes on any job, even including defending those who clearly did the crime?>"Your honour, the camera footage shows my client taking the entire bowl of candy from the candy store, yes.">"BUT, there was a sign on the bowl that said, "take one". It never said how many times you could take one!"
>>40587313Clearly the sign could be interpreted as meaning to take one bowl. I feel an aquittal on the horizon.
>>40587313>>40587328Would Phoenix Wright be able to defeat Yuzu in a case like this?
>>40587282Clean your dity dick, yo!>>40587280and even some strap-ons, good thing that STDs are not a thing in horseland>butTHEY ARE NOT!
>>40587344>STDs are not a thing in horselandThat explains all the gays that haven't died of turbo aids yet.>>40587280Peak fatherless behaviour.
>>40587392>That explains all the gays that haven't died of turbo aids yet.What the fuck are you talking about?This explains how Mal is not a walking bio weapon
>>40582849Which male satyr is most willing or at least not totally against the idea of wearing a chastity cage for some kinky domination play? Asking because I haven't written smut in years.
>>40588672Pogo because he's a wierdo and he likes to try new things all the time and Garret because he's really into that.Also, Simmer because he likes dicks and Dratyrs need some love
>>40588733>Garret because he's really into that.Yeah I could see this. I could easily imagine him being forced to watch porn and being belittled while being caned across the ass and wearing a cage with spikes on the inside that are designed to hurt of you get hard.>"Pathetic, you call yourself a stallion with that sad little excuse for a cock? It's funny really how you got the worst of both worlds. Smaller than a pony but can't last anywhere close to as long as a human can, so unlucky for you. Maybe I should just do females everywhere a favour and lock that tiny little boy clit of yours away for good seeing as you really have no chance of using it anyway. I think you'd make a better girl than you do a boy, don't you agree?">>40576067What's her major malfunction, or is she actually mentally stable and well adjusted unlike her sister?
>>40587342>"Objection!""Your honour, he's objectifying me. Are you going to allow that kind of misogyny in your court room?">"What, no, I meant that-""Stop mansplaining your bigotry."She's not above using underhanded tactics to win a case.
this thread would be better if it were full of waifufags
>>40588879>What's her major malfunctionShe's a weeboo who makes cosplays/fantasy clothes for a living, kinda a creepy perv and she's the worst ex that you can get, you can say that Hiki is a manic nightmare pixie girl.Beside that she's more stable than Bella
>>40589089No. No, gosh darnit, you know what this thread really needs, mister?Some good old fashioned can-do knowhow from a stable father, champ.I mean just in the few above posts there's such fatherless degeneracy about satyr boys on satyr boys and girls who can't even get a syllable out in front of others, my gosh
>>40589602>Some good old fashioned can-do knowhow from a stable father,Or a stable mother. Zecora is quite wise.
>>40590176If statistics have taught me anything, nothing is more important for a child's development than having dad in the home.
>>40590192Bringing up statistics won't bring back the dead at least that's my headcanon regarding Zecora's husband since nothing else has been mentioned and having a mom is also important. So let's meet in the middle and agree that both mom and dad needs to be there for their child.
>>40590236Well, yes, having both is obviously best, but it's objectively better to not have a mom than not have a dad if one has to be missing.
>>40590288Sure, unless said dad is a pervert who shouldn't even be allowed near kids, let alone have one, or an alcoholic or abusive.Sometimes it's better for the satyr to be with their loving mom. There can also be moments when satyr wants to talk about something that mom knows best about.>How do you make such a good lasagna?>How do I tell this girl at school that I like her?>Do these clothes look good for my first date?And so on. There's fatherly advice, and there's motherly advice. Both are good in their own way.
Timber still dead?
>>40592238He's still fighting.
>>40592260What did Timber do to piss off Senator Armstrong?
>>40592322He managed to be a worse written character, and that's just not gonna fly.
>>40591671Bonk the donk.
>>40592834With your dick
>>40593810"This ponut can hold SO MUCH TONGUE!"
>>40594394Bella knows about thathttps://derpibooru.org/images/2574947?q=oc%3Abella%2C+oc%3Adarcy
>>40595316This is just how girls show each other affection.
>>40595851Just Bella, but only works with Darcy, Yuzu or Mal
post flutter satyrs
>>40595987I'm sure any satyr girl would like her to say hi.But if she's shy, she could try starting with Cici, she's pretty friendly.
we are getting slow!i blame Mal
>>40598799God damn neet horse.
>>40599745Small dicks are elegant and a sign of upper class.Of course the local bug with no titts and negative ass will never understand that
>>40599839How did Equestria end up with the ancient Greek standards of male beauty?
>>40599845Because humans wanted to be like ancient Greek but they only knew history via memes
>>40599745Don't tease him, he'll cum.
>>40600753Yes, except she ends up cücking him with Batdad.
>>40600797Batdad is a pedo now? did i miss something?
>>40600878Missy's an adult.He just likes her to transform to look even younger.
>>40600984"I don't know if I can make myself look much younger, sir.""Younger."
>>40602282>"Yuzu, you and Garret seem like a perfect match for one another. You both love fashion, you're both trendy, you-""Eww, no, I'm not into femboy types. He's probably into pegging and dommy mommy roleplay.">"Well what is your type then?""I want the kind of guy that climbs mountains and cuts down trees while bare chested.">"But you hate nature. You almost had a panic attack on the school camping trip when you saw that centipede near your tent.""Yeah, but at least that kind of guy could defend me.">"From what? Fights which you instigate between him and some other guy?"
>>40602747>"How much younger.""Turn into the theorised last universal common ancestor.">"I don't know how!"
>>40602760Maybe they could at least go one one or two dates to see if they click. It'd be an amusing disaster.>"In the end it was Sapphire who ended up-""Sorry to interrupt, but this is the fifth time you've brought up your sister and I'm starting to feel like I'm on a date with her and not you.">"Well excuse me, but you spent the first ten minutes complaining about how you were nearly late because YOUR sister-""Half-sister.">"Fine, HALF-sister. How she moved all your makeup in the bathroom so you couldn't find your eyeliner and how much you wish she'd go back to living with her mother.""Well... okay, maybe we both have issues with our siblings and I got sidetracked, but you're the guy, you should be leading the conversation.">"Outdated gender roles much?""Maybe I like tradit-">"Shh.""Wha-">"Shh! If you want me to take the lead then I'm just going to shush you whenever you start boring me.""I think-">"I didn't ask, plus you're a woman so I don't care.""I never said-">"Stop talking and just focus on looking pretty. If you want me to take total charge of the conversation because I'm the man then just stop talking.""Some man you are, I could totally take you in a fight! I mean look at your wrists, they're limper than those noodles this place tried to pass off as a appetiser."
>>40602760>"I want the kind of guy that climbs mountains and cuts down trees while bare chested."Sounds like she has a thing for Big Macintosh.
>>40603702Yuzu's full of shit, she doesn't know what she wants. One minute she wants an assertive guy that'll take charge in a relationship and be the bread winner, the next she wants a submissive femboy that'll let her walk all over him (possibly literally) and be a good little domestic bitch. Next she wants a younger trophy husband that she can flaunt to her sister and after that she's changed her mind and she wants an older guy that'll be a good step-father to Satsuma and a grounding influence in her life.She's a typical woman that's never learned to settle and that's her main problem. At least Murmur found a guy she liked that was within her league and stuck with him regardless of what her bitch popular girl friends thought, and even Mistake had the determination to pursue the same guy until he finally decided to give her a shot.Yuzu and Garret make a funny couple though. I could see Pogo being a little pissy that she got with his friend right after breaking up with him even if their relationship never really got off the ground.
>>40603839>Yuzu's full of shit>Murmur and Mistake loves the same guy>All that other crapWhere in the hell did that truckload of autism come from?
>>40603873>>Murmur and Mistake loves the same guyYou're misinterpreting that,I mean that Mistake pursued a singular individual until he agreed to give her a chance, not that it was the same guy that Murmur was going after.
>>40603839She should date a changeling since he can be all of those things.
>>40603953"Mistake, you remember that brother of yours that would always try and look up my skirt when I came over to your place as kids?">"Yeah obviously, why?""Is he single?">"Well he's in prison for trying to smuggle ketamine over the border, so I dunno. I guess it depends on how rapey his cellmate is.""What about your brother that used to blast music really loudly in his room next to yours?">"He's a drummer for some underground punk rock band in Manehattan last I heard.""Yeah but is he single?">"I have no idea, I haven't spoken to him in at least a year." "How about the one with the twitch?">"Psych ward.""Ah, sorry.">"Oh no, he's a doctor, not a patient. Single but totally not interested in anything but his work.""What about the one with-">"Do you seriously not remember any of their names?""Sorry, I never really got to know any of them and you all kind of look the same.">"Wow, good thing your my friend or else I could find that offensive.""I can remember some of your sisters' names like, Malady, Malaise and uh... Misery."
>>40604369there's many to choose from
>>40604513One of them's got to be single, right?
>>40604601I bet 32 is single and he looks like he's into whatever Yuzu is into at the momment.
>>40604369Lore building. I vote the name of Mistake's brother's band is Stinkbug. That sounds decently punk.
>>40603839>Yuzu and Garret make a funny couple thoughsecond
I wanna turn Bella into a nice wife that stay in hom and take care of our kids
>>40605397Quick, create some goth/emo variant alliteration for Tomboy Taming.
>>40605908>you will never be a teacher of a totally all 18 classroom at ghoul school and goth groom all your students into your spooky harem.Feels VN, man.
>>40604683I can imagine it.>"Did you use my exfoliating scrub?""Oh sorry, I just assumed it was a cosmetics free-for-all since I keep finding your hair in my curling iron.">"Damn it, that stuff's expensive and meant for wing membranes, not your greasy forehead. What kind of man uses a curling iron anyway?""One that cares about presentation. While we're on the topic of hair, you ever think about cleaning out the shower drain after you're done clogging it?"Much angry pegging was done that night.
>>40605431>>40605908>>40605925There's a book about that
>>406060072 divas in the same room, wonderful
>>40606403Imagine if there's a spider in the bathtub. Who's going to take responsibility for that?
>>40606279Please tell me this is a step-by-step tutorial.
>>40606446>"Don't look at me, you're the one that insists on leaving the windows open and letting in all the disgusting bugs.""It's hot! Besides you know magic, don't you? Can't you just point your finger and avada kedavra it?">"Oh sure, and should I summon a flying broom or pot of gold while I'm at it?""No but if you could conjure up a new personality for yourself that'd be great."
>>40604513There are also well over 300 other changelings that are Mistake's half-brothers. So yeah, plenty to choose from.
>>40606446everyone, from princess celestia, to every satyrs on the phonebook to discord and even their rivals
>>40606681it's just female fanfiction of a rude tomboy x chad on the gym
>>40607049>>40604513"So what exactly are you looking for in a relationship?">"Love.""Uh, okay, keeping it simple I see. So I take it that means commitment then?">"If it gets me love.""So what can you bring to a relationship?">"I can literally be anything or anyone you want me to be.""That does sound tempting. What hobbies do you have and what are your interests? Tell me what you're into.">"My hobbies and interests include finding love and syphoning said love. I'm into whatever you're into."I suppose dating a changeling would have some advantages, though it would probably be a little one sided.
>>40550071>Story by Parent: http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5Can this be fixed?
>>40608034It's dead jim
>>40608841Tell me more.
>>40609219They smool They talk shitAnd they will bite you
Remember to feed your loli satyr
>>40610618All the eggs.
>"And in this corner, the challenger; The Griffon Holohoaxer!">"...Jesus, kid, how about being named after something that actually happened?"ALRIGHT RAIMI SATYR ENOUGH
>>40611672Man, i really like those two, i wish they had more art, greens, ships or whatever
>>40611672>Afterwards, they both got a stern talking to from Celestia and her husband about "Adventuring" into random places and beating up everyone there>Just because they look hostile, like skeletons often do, does not always mean they are>Dawn and Radiance were both forced to tag along with Celestia to personally apologize to the King of skeletonsTurns out the king was evil, so now both parents and kids have to fight their way through the skeleton empire together to get out
>>40614085>personally apologize to the King of skeletons"Listen here you little shits, I've got a bone to pick with you. Rest assured there's nothing humerus about this situation."
Murmur's the kind of wife that would tie you to the bed and force feed you Viagra if you disagreed about having another kid with her.
>>40614905A good woman who cares about the legacy of the satyr kind
>>40614905>All the money that's needed for food, clothes, education etc>Never getting any sleep because baby needs diaper change or is hungry in the middle of the night, again>Cleaning their rooms every single day>Have to help them with homework>Have to prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a whole bunch every single day>Can never kick back and relax in your own home because a bunch of kids are running around playingReality hits Murmur harder than a thousand bricks.Imagination is fun and all, but I don't think I'll ever fully understand why people like you like the whole "tons of kids" thing. Do you simply ignore just how much work it takes to raise a child, let alone several? Do you imagine they'll raise themselves?
>>40615961>bitches about not enough wholesome content.>bitches about wholesome content.
>>40615961>I don't think I'll ever fully understand why people like you like the whole "tons of kids" thing.because it's fun
>>40616076How exactly is it wholesome content when it's literally just "put babies in my belly, Anon"?>Mentioning the reality of raising kids is bitchingDo you enjoy insulting others or something?
>>40616102Not him, but>reality of raising kids is bitching>realitythis is a thread about OCs from a show about magical horses, reality has no power in here.
>>40616116A touch of reality is a spice that can really nail the wholesome family thing when done right. What fun would it be to read a family story that has nothing interesting to keep a reader hooked?What you seem to want is basically a>You got shot and shrugged it off because you're superman in EquestriaWhile I'm more of a>You got shot and hospitalized, your wife and kids made sure to visit you as often as they could, making life more comfortable while you recovered from your woundsDo you get what I mean? I'm not saying we can't both have what we like, only that you think for a minute before posting and understand that not everyone might like what you like. And don't be so damn sensitive that you have to insult everyone who pokes at that fragile bubble of yours. Just ignore it if you don't like it.