Previous thread: >>40446401"Househusband greeting his mare when she returns from work" editionFauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsignore new threads by the cheerimac poster
>"I hope dinner's ready...">"You remember what happened last time, don't you?"
>Wake up several hours ago with a hangover.>Super horny but I'm trying to stop fapping.>Fantasize about Mayor Mare forcing me to breed "troublemakers" -- Vinyl, Trixie, Berry Punch - to calm them down and make them respectable members of the community.>Only once they're all ludicrously preggers do I get to breed Mayor Mare as a reward for a job well done.Never let mares tell you that stallions aren't lewd.
>Be Anon>Local human fella turned Oil Sheik>Kinda>You were pretty dirt poor, but you did have more than one wife like a sheik >Three in fact>All thanks to that Zephyr fella, whom two out of the three wives disliked greatly>You were happy that Rarity had gone along with it, what with how pretty she was>She could absolutely have anyone on this planet you bet, but she seemed pleased as punch with the whole thing>Oddly enough, Rainbow and Fluttershy did as well>You thought Rainbow in particular just wanted to be your wife to get out of marrying the other fella, but she seemed genuinely affectionate >Fluttershy was...>Extremely affectionate>A life of not having a male to smooch because she couldn't stand colts because, again, her brother, would do that to a mare>Things were still a little strange>The pegasi kept trying to build nests around your house, and all of them got sort of funny around your closet and your sock drawer, but you didn't have any complaints>In fact, your official wedding was going to just be a few weeks away>Rarity had wanted you to plan it, so you'd have "the wedding you'd always wanted", but when she found out you were fine with just going to the courthouse and getting papers signed, she took over the planning>She did her best to hide it, but you were pretty sure she was excited to be the planner>You were fine with it, but the girls did feel sort of bad about how quick things were going>So they compensated you>With sex>A lot of it; any way you wanted it too, though some were more eager for certain things than others>You saw why sheiks had more than one wife>Four-ways were fucking rad>More so with beautiful mares>They could really do things with their mou-->"ANONYMOUS!">You jumped, nearly dropping the onion you had been staring at, lost in your thoughts of mare sex>You, and everyone else in the market, turned>There was Zephyr again, in full armor, holding a spear>Beside him, looking less than happy, was Sporkle>"Anonymous the human!" the stallion bellowed.>You looked at your soon-to-be-wives, then at the colt>You waved"Good morning.">Zephyr looked flabbergasted for a second, then he cleared his throat>"I challenge you to single combat!">Rainbow rolled her eyes>"Zephyr, get out of here," she said. "I'm done with your horseapples. Forever. We're getting married, and you're not going to mess it up like you do everything else!">"That's where you're WRONG, beloved," Zephyr said>Rainbow visibly gagged>"While this SLUT stole you out from under my tender care, I still have one more trick to save you. To save you all!">He stamped the butt of his spear into the ground>"Single combat. Anonymous. I challenge your right to wed Rainbow Dash.">Dash threw up her hooves>"TWILIGHT!">Twilight flinched>"He... technically can challenge, Rainbow.">Beside you, Fluttershy just sighed>Beside her, Rarity began fanning herself
>>40505831>"Stallions fighting for the right to wed a mare. Oh my goodness..." she breathed>"Hey, coltfight!" somepony yelled >A crowd quickly gathered around you all>You just sort of looked around"Hey Zephyr, buddy, we really don--">"The only thing I wish to hear from you is "I surrender", you harlot," Zephyr said. "Otherwise, I shall show you how a guard fights!">Twilight facehoofed"Well, I'm not gonna do that, and I really don't want to fight, buddy.">"You don't have a choice, jezebel.">Rainbow turned toward you>"Anon," she hissed, gesturing that you kneel>You did so>"I think you just need to beat the crud out of this colt," she whispered."What?" you replied.>"I think Rainbow's right, Anon," Fluttershy said. "Sometimes the best lesson is pain.""...Jesus, Fluttershy, that's your brother.">"Oh, I know.">Rainbow's face scrunched up>"You don't need to hurt him really badly. Just give him a few hard knocks. He'll start crying and give up.""...Do I really have to?">"...""...">"...""...">"...I'll wear the things.">You blinked"Pardon?">A hint of pink came to Rainbow's cheeks>"I'll wear those dyke-y things you like, and I'll do that thing with my mouth.">Her face got a little redder>"As many times as you want too>You perked up"Just a little beating? Alrighty then!">Standing up, you walked over to one of the stands, helping yourself to a broom handle>The little mare frowned, and was about to complain, but some mares around her shushed her and threw their own bits onto the counter, motioning you toward Zephyr>You gave the handle a few practice swings, then stepped toward the stallion>Twilight looked over her hoof, then just let out a suffering groan>"You... can you both just not kill each other for Celestia's sake?" she asked>You watched as Zephyr tied his spear to some special loop on the side of his armor>It took a good long while, and you could hear some muttering and cursing to himself as he did it, but eventually he had the weapon attached to his side>"I can't promise than, m'lady," Zephyr said. I shall defeat this whore, and if he lies here slain then it is the will of Mi Amore Cadenza herself.">"...No. No it isn't, you big, dumb--">With a warcry, Zephyr charged toward you, limbs flailing, spear bouncing, his head tilted down toward the ground>The yell made you jump, but you held your broom out>Zephyr wasn't particularly fast>He also wasn't flying>Which was weird, but you weren't going to complain>You tensed, readying to dodge a strike>Then you sort of looked at the stallion, and his big, dumb spear, and relaxed a bit>As he ran toward you, you stepped out of the way>This wasn't at the last moment>He still had a good twenty feet to get to you, but he didn't notice, what with his head being down and all>...Eyes were closed as well now that you were looking at him>As he closed the distance you, safe from any thrust, smacked the end of the spear as hard as you could>There was a crack
>>40505895>The spear tip jolted down, sinking into the dirt>Zephyr's warcry turned into a shriek as he was catapulted up into the air>His weight caused the spear to sink deeper into the ground>The straps holding the spear to his side somehow held and you, along with around one hundred ponies, watched as he was hoisted up at an awkward angle by the spear, not able to move>Zephyr's rump was angled toward you>Armorless and vulnerable>You looked toward Rainbow, who just made a swinging motion with a hoof>You shrugged, then, holding the broom handle like a bat, you walked over to the colt>"You slutty monster, you'll never--EEP!">You started laying into his backside>Smack after smack, causing the stallion to squeal and flail like a little girl>The crowd around you let out groans, noises of delight, and curses as bits were exchanged>Give him credit, Zephyr lasted longer than you thought he would>You literally beat his ass for a good five minutes before you heard him shout:>"STOP! STOPSTOPSTOP! I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP!">He covered a now thoroughly black and blue butt with his back legs and wings>"YOU WIN! YOU WIN!">A cheer rang out amongst the crowd>Twilight shook her head>"Thank Celestia...">Her horn glowed, and Zephyr's spear was pulled from the ground and teleported away>The stallion himself was laid gently onto his stomach, looking miserable>You put the broom handle down onto the ground, walking over and kneeling down next to him>"How could you have beaten me" he asked, as you put a hand on his back, giving him a few reassuring pats. "I fought with love in my heart...""That's easy, buddy. You're a three foot tall talking horse and I'm a fully grown man.">Zephyr blinked, as if the idea had never occurred to him >"Oh..." >"Anon, if it's not too much of a bother, hit him a few more times just so he learns his lesson," Fluttershy called>You frowned>Jesus...>One of your wives was a real firecracker, huh?
>>40505948Heh. I guess Dash was wrong about Fluttershy getting mad if Anon beat up Zephyr.
>>40505831>>Fluttershy was...>>Extremely affectionateall is right in the world
>>40505948I see Fluttershy is going to be the disciplinarian for all the foals of the family.
look at this cute ponyall she wants is for every mare to have a loving househusband to tend to the smaller world while she's at workalso i just realized there could be all sorts of entertaining interactions between prench duchess Fleur and germane Aryanne over rightful clay or rightful lewd time
>>40507122Just need Octavia and Applejack to complete the set.
>>40506372>Be Anon>"Mr. Mous?">And also be very upset>A ponice officer has just shown up at your door, with none other than Mono Trail, your oldest daughter"Yes, that's me. What is the meaning of this?">"Sir, your daughter and her friends were found being truant." >The ponicemare glared at Mono from the corner of her eye before venomously adding "Among other things.""Truant? Mono, is this true?">Mono morosely nodded, refusing to look at your face>You shake your head in shame>She was always a rambunctious foal, but you had never thought she'd go so far as to play hooky>Your attention is brought back to the ponicemare when she clears her throat>"Seeing as she's underage and this is her first offense, I figured it'd be best to let her off with a warning.""Thank you, officer. I'll be sure to have her mother talk to her." You say, emphasizing the word "talk">You turn and point towards the interior of your home and Mono whimpers as she slinks past you, ears folded back and wings limp at her sides>The ponicemare nods curtly, "See that you do.">Her eyes trail down your form, her frown melting into a smirk upon reaching your crotch>"Y'know, if you're having trouble keeping your foals in line, I could always...lend a hoof~" She licks her chops while blatantly staring at your groin"Thank you but I have it under control." You close the door on her and head to Mono's room to see her sulking on her bed, hiding beneath her turquoise wings"Mono. I'm not mad.">She parts her wings a bit to let her shame-filled eyes take a look at you"I'm just disappointed.">She let out a pathetic groan"If you think that's bad, just wait until your mother comes home.">Mono Trail shoots up, her wings spread and fur standing on end>She gulps before shakily speaking up>"W-w-which one?" she squeaks out>You sigh>Dramatically, of course>Rarity taught you well"Mama Shy.">Mono's anguished wail could be heard in Canterlot
>>40499542What about engie?
>>40507276>Which oneDo you think children have a greater bond with their true mother or are all of their mothers treated pretty much as equals. I wouldn't be surprised if the foal count gets high enough in a herd that some of the mares forget which one they gave birth to
>>40505948Not quite my cup of tea, but still technically well-written. Good job, LaP.
>>40507313As always, it would depend on who spends the most quality time with them.Captcha: VK XXX
>>40507276"It's your own fault for getting caught, Trail."
>>40507276Shy may not have a belt, but a damp wing is plenty to fear.
How do you think ponies do dental work in Equestria? I'm having a hard time imagining a society that has straw-roofed cottages and cobblestone roads, also having safe hypodermic needles and sophisticated local anesthetics. Will that one toothpaste horse brazenly give me extra knockout juice so that she can touch my ding-dong?
>>40508569There is more to equestria than ponyville. Manehatten has skyscrapers, and there is always magic.
I had a dream last night where my horsedaughter had to console me, because I was worried she was going to an hero, because I had to console her, because her coltfriend cheated on her and she thought she wasn't a good mare. I blame you all for this.
>>40508569sounds like a question for Colgate. mare's a miracle worker, but she hates how my teeth just need a little extra cleaning instead of being rotted to the gums with how much Dr Pepper I drink
>>40508569>https://medicine.uq.edu.au/blog/2018/12/history-syringes-and-needles1844>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procaine1905, or>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine#History1855>http://www.historyofdentistry.net/dentistry-history/history-of-dental-instruments/1868-1914It would be fairly recognizable as modern dentistry. They would probably use some magic to patch things, instead of amalgamate fillings. (Just like they can heal a nasty broken limb in three days.)And yes, she'll give you extra laughing gas.
>>40509070>extra laughing gas.Only because stallions are bigger and they need a larger dose... Right?
>>40509119Of course! No inappropriate touching going on, here!
>>40509119>>40509136>"For the last time, Caramel, the main ingredient of the anesthetic being "rapeseed" does not indicate anything about its application."
I have traveled forward in time exactly one year.What have I missed?
>>40509569>MissedIn this thread? Lmao
>>40509569Mare Fair (previously Florida foalcon), Haber suicide, g4 reboot
>>40509777>suicideThat's extremely not Friendship of you, anon. Shame on you.
>>40504882Alright I epic failed at having the update done but I got more work done in the last 48 hours than the past three months combined. As such I'm going to put a new, but much more realistic, completion date for the end of this week. See you then gang.
>>40510365Based and batpilled
Plush earth pony asses that you can really dig your fingers into and knead.
>>40510491Like a cat?
>>40505948made me chuckle/10I hope you do some more
>>40510541More like kneading bread dough. Really wring it and squeeze it.
>>40510902I want Pinkie to help teach me how to knead her cake and help put a bun in her oven if you know what I meaninb4 she takes the request completely literally
>>40507287Didn't engie promise he'd never leave a story unfinished?
>>40511216It's never LEFT unfinished if he returns to it some day/year/decade.
>>40507287Working on his OG fiction now.
>>40511494Is there a link?
>>40511587Nothing actually released yet, I dont think.
Maud's secret shame - she's a crossdresser!
>>40511870thats a gross missuse of ballbras!
>>40512168Would a mare flinch or stand firm after a tit smack?
>>40511870why do this guys pones look like pudgy cats
>>40512871Depends. Is she a masochist?
>>40512883I don't see it
>>40511870>journalist forgets that teatbras are a thing as wellsmartest journalist mare
>>40511870i didn't know that the pie family was related to the trottingham mare of janitorial unemploymentmust be 2nd or 3rd cousins or something
>>40513119Might just be that earth pony genes select for big asses and big teats.https://twibooru.org/1643392 (NSFW, natch.)
>>40513472No wonder she's so angry, she's kicking herself in the tits every time she walks!She should do what Pinkie does and hop everywhere, that would prevent that.
>>40513484>2nd spoileryou're making too much sense anon
>>40513119They're related through their cousin Cheesecake.
>>40513484This was the only picture I could find of big crotch-titty Limestone that didn't look absolutely terrible.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/545454/1/heat-season/operation-heatsink
>>40513598Derp. The FimFic link is unrelated, just something that I found with a few RGRE elements.
>>40513605>TOTALLY NOT SHILLING MY FICNice setup. I want to see where this goes.There's an extra " at the end of:“Um, how scary is it? On a scale from one to ten, I mean,” the resident wallflower asked in her timid voice.”
>>40513886Flattering compliment, but I'm not the author. Literally just saw it, read it, and went "hey, this is kinda RGRE."Besides, I'm too racist to give myself a handle like "Sahelanthropus." (Sahel man.) Though if he is from the Sahel, he has a shockingly good command of English.
>>40511927Considering engie is a woman, yes, she is aggressively retarded
>>40512168>smack Maud's teats>they harden on impact>grope her teats>they're super soft>Maud has non-Newtonian teatsAlternatively, NANOMACHINES, SON!
Baby-crazy stallion hours in here.
I tell twilight sparkle and her nerd friends when they are over at her house about the existence of internet porn, and show how Ai, can make porn which somehow still works on my computer, and other electronic devices.What happens.
>>40514897In this thread? They go "woah" over something dumb like how "intense" human men's sexual desire is or some equally gay shit people should've grown out of before high school.If the thread were about its topic, then idk... say the tech would get out somehow and a bunch of underage colts would have to try and petition the adults to prevent the fillies from creating and spreading AI porn of them at school. There'd be friction from the adults, a combination of classification ambiguity and illicit interest in the photos, and some members of the EoH would eventually have to intervene. Flutters and Dash at least, since they'd both be sensitive to public humiliation. They'd probably be joined by the CMC eventually, who'd be trying to shake suspicion for spreading the materials after the whole gossip paper fiasco.Things would come to a head when an insecure colt feels driven to self-producing, shocking and disturbing the community and driving the point home. The ringleaders would come forward in shame and everyone would begin healing. There would be a collective decision that humans and their Satanic contraptions aren't compatible with Equestria, and Anon would be kicked out forever, never to darken the MLP fictional universe ever again.Amen.
Next up on Colty Mares Secrets' Revealed: Roseluck and her predator fetish!
>>40514135>Engie>WomanOkay now I know you're full of shit
>>40514135A woman or a "woman"?
>>40515760I member the predator memes.
>>40515214Self producing what do you mean?Also I don’t think they would kick anon out, if he just gave them the technology, he could easily have said it could be used for none sexual things, and he thought they had a lot more sense then they did.
Mares want to smooch you. Pick up the little one and fuck her horseshoes off while the rest watch. Then make her a sandwich
I always like the idea of a top level super powerful caster being a fucking autisitc math nerd because magic is just fantasy programming or something.I wanna watch a wizard passionately lecture to his students about the genius of the magic equivalent to the DOOM fast inverse square root.Really shit like that just adds life and immersion to a magic system imo. Always takes me out of it when harry poter wizards can just go "alabama ballbra" and someone's head explodes. Too easy.Anyway something something twilight doesn't think colts can do magic cause they're too stupid. I dunno I'm drunk.
>>40516622Pick up...Pipp?You sure that's possible?
>>40516622Pass, pass, smash, smash.
It seems I am still a figure of some controversy.To all who feel anger or distress at my memory, I have one demand:>Surpass me.
>>40517046>Engie has been lurking this whole time.Finish your greens, faggot
>>40517146Too busy writing a novel.Maybe after.
>>40517156Fine. Finish the novel, THEN finish your greens, faggot
>>40517156For the record, I'm glad you're still alive.
>>40517029A man of good taste.
>>40517156Hey, Engie, good luck. Your writing style may not click well with me for some reason, but you have quite a lot of natural talent, and apparently the time to refine it and put it to use. I hope you get published.>>40508569Yes, APA, yes she will, and she'll do more than touch it. You'll wake up afterwards and wonder why your crotch feels so wet, and where your ball-bra went.And pick up your socks.
>>40516636Can your unicorn wife run DOOM?
>>40516863oh dam thats kinda hot. What would EGREquestria think of a colt who's into chubby mares?
>>40516636The fast inverse square root algorithm was for Quake III Arena, it's used to calculate the normal vector of a polygon, which are useful for games which have lighting and/or physics engines. As DOOM has neither, it would have no need for algorithm.
>>40517619ID software nonetheless. tomato tomato
>>40517046I tried, but I just keep getting an esl. Maybe I should use my spell check, also what greens did you write anything with twilight.
>>40516636Power and skill are two separate things. Powerful unicorns like twilight, or the princesses are not the most skilled. Lesser unicorns are actually the ones who typically move magic forward, because they actually need well formed spells, whilst powerful unicorns can just brute force their will onto the world. Twilight can easily learn and cast spells due to her raw power. No pony can actually just read a spell and cast it immediately without practice, twilight is just using brute force in place of true understanding.
>>40517927Typical Pegasus reply.
>>40514897I might use the technology to make porn of princess Celestia as a stallion, during their April fools, equivalent how does she take it. I get that twilight would be furious but I kinda think Celestia would laugh her ass off.
>>40517441I mean, I can see the appeal of a chubby mare, but would you really want to date an influencer? Personally, I prefer a nerd.
>Trixie knows that rape is sex without consent>no, consent cannot be revoked at some indeterminate later date>but she's a retard>thinks the inverse is also true>in her mind consent without sex is also rape>she tried her best to get Anon to fuck her, but he wouldn't budge>to her she's just been horribly violated>thinks her sadness at being rejected is proof of this>takes matters into her own hooves
>>40518440It's Celestia. There's nothing you can show her that would shock her after all the years she's been alive.
>>40519274Thanks for reminding me. I'm gonna go masturbate to nignogs' art now.
>>40518225Here's a FimFic version: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/457545/follows-a-little-sparkI stopped trying to follow it, but I'm pretty sure Twilight is the primary love interest.
>>40517046You’re in no position to demand anything, and neither are the people in this thread, because none of you have leverage. Pompous post. Silence, or different wording, would have had more positive effect. Wish you well on your novel.
>>40519270I do think it would be funny, if she saw hundreds of pictures of her in different styles of her with a massive throbbing cock.
>>40520197I agree. Not because I think it would be funny, but because it is my fetish.
>Sometimes you just gotta dress like the sort of girl all colts want.
>>40504899you cried until it was ready?
>>40521404I don’t even like it, I just thought it would be funny. If you want something else, what’s another what we could prank celly.
>>40518565Hey, my post!
I know which artist I'm going to use for the next OP now, lol
>>40516636>eq/g/>i only spellweave in arcanum, literally perfect language>are you guys excited for Melon Tusk's new orb intelligence?>i only use free as in freedom spells>bought griffonian grimoire, got cheap spells>the only good OS is Feathera, Doubloon is for retards, Minty is for ziggers, Archaea is for autists>runeless spellweaver, look inside, find runes>arcane state drive heats up, becomes mundane>is LyreOrber good with The Orange Router?, no I'm not an apple we don't smell in the dark>imagine buying an apple spell kit, enjoy your proprietary backspelled spellweave
why do thirdies think dicks on girls are hot?like they'll unironically choose defending that shit as their hill to die on
>>40521549That's pretty hot
An short update on Nightmare's Anonhttps://ponepaste.org/9136>"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!">Twilight readied her horn as the stranger stopped in its tracks>It's cloak billowed in the wind as its head turned slightly towards her group>"Yes?">She had a pause on what she was going to say>What was it?>"I'm waiting.">Hold on! The words caught up on her mouth>Wait>She held her head up high and responded marely>"That basket belongs to me.">"No it isn't it's mine.">"Wrong! That was in custody of Equestria, therefore it doesn't belong to you.">"I mean I did ask for it and you gave it away.">"That-That doesn't count!">"Wait wasn't Nightmare Moon carrying that according to Applebloom? If that's suppose to be her, why does she look gangley?">Fluttershy chimed in, already ruining your mojo>"Yeah she kinda left it behind. You know how she is.">The figure 'shrugged'>But if it knew her...>"Then you must be in league of her! A minion of evil!">All the mares readied themselves for a fight>Only for a colty spontaneous laughter erupted from the figure, even holding his middle section with his other limb>"-HAHAHA! Oh that's a riot. You really don't know?">The stranger had to stop himself giggling before speaking>"Well I would tell you, but it's patient confidentiality so goodbye.">It turned around and started walking away.>"Oh no, you're not getting away that easy buster!">Rainbow Dash sped towards the figure mustering up all the strength her wings had>Everything was in slow-motion, butterfly wings fluttered moved at a snail's pace, blades of grass flowed in a pattern to her eyes>As she was a hoof's close to the figure's cloak, it turned around suddenly>In one smooth motion it brought up a single stubby claw from its sleeve, and gently touched her nose>She could see it mouth something to her>'Boop'>The sudden downward thrust on the tip of the blue projectile changed its trajectory entirely>Right into the ground >Rainbow Dash landed face first into the grassy terrain and left a long trail of misplaced earth and mud until she stopped>Her legs bucked in a panic as it protruded from the mound of dirt gathered from her landing
>>40521995Oh hey it's been a while, welcome back. So this anon has magical powers?
>>40522159The magic of ~whimsy~
>>40520356Not my fetish, I just thought it would be funny, and tried to make a new idea for the thread or something. Now it seems like the thread is happy the jannies, deleted shit.>>40521549Not exactly what I had in mind, as I didn’t want anon to clop to them, but yeah pretty funny I guess.Also what would you do with Ai or tech in equestria.
>>40520404i would snuggle the fucking shit out of that twig
>>40522354>Not my fetish, I just thought it would be funnyIt's my fetish, but I don't see how it would be funny.
>>40521995WaitI don't remember this
>>40522489Like, maybe you use porn as a joke, like they don’t know what ai is, so Celly would think their are hundreds of artists. How would it effect her political credibility, maybe only part of them are futa, and the rest just have different proportions for her assets, and they are all over canterlot castle and ponyvile.
>>40520404Let me cuddle you.
>>40517208>Yes, APA, yes she willI feel witchcraft upon me.
>>40522736>Celly would think their are hundreds of artists.>"Oh, anon, this human art is, um... wonderful.">"You humans certainly have an interesting style.">"No wonder they can't even govern themselves properly."
>>40517156Good luck, man
>>40523757Tell her your kind created new intelligence for the reason of making more art.
>>40504882what are gender roles
>>40524555The expected behaviors and goals given to an individual by society, based on their sex and class.
>>40524555Picture a black and white TV show from the 1950s, like Honeymooners. It's like that, but the stallions are Alice and the mares are Ralph.
>>40523757lol>and are those, um "fingers" too?
Imagine getting sexually harassed by mares, going to a guardsmare patrol for help, and then getting harassed by the guardsmares
>>40525525Get it on with the guardsmares, form a herd with them and they first mares group will leave you alone, them its just a matter to keep them happy and its all golden from there, foolproof plan!
>>40525525>"Maybe if you didn't walk around swinging your hips like a slut, mares wouldn't give you so much trouble."
There's gotta be at least a few mares who are really into belts instead of socks. What could be hotter than an article of clothing explicitly designed to prevent other clothes from falling off?
>>40526017Now that's just weird.
do you greet your mare when she comes home with a pitcher of martinis, just like on Bewitched?
>The instrument was generously sized for a pony, but a tad small for you>No matter, you could make it work>Just telling the girls what happened didn't feel right>It felt shameful>But mix it in with a heaping helping of self-aggrandizement, and you could make it a boast>And there was no better way to puff yourself up with a song. Good for the soul>You fingered a simple little diddy on the guitar>Yeah, that's the stuff>You'll have to rhyme on the fly, but you had enough shared campfires behind you to not be too terrible>Here goes nothing"Along about nineteen eight or nineHe left Tennessee somehow aliveHe never would have gathered that Canterlot mudIf he hadn't been such a strange Tennessee StudThe boneheads tryin'a be his sweethearts allThe princesses worried 'bout a bad outlawHe sent them a letter by his pal BluebloodAnd he strode away still the Tennessee StudThe Tennessee Stud is long and leanThe color of the sun, and his eyes are greenHe has the nerve and he has the bloodAnd you'll never meet a horse like the Tennessee Stud">"So that's what happened.">"Shut up, Kissy.""He drifted on down into no mare's landHe crossed that river called the Rio BrandHe raised his fists in a griffon's rowAnd he won him a skin full of silver and goldWell those griffons wouldn't let him freeHe might'a fought another two or three He jerked his gun, and one fell with a thudAnd they cursed the name of the Tennessee StudThe Tennessee Stud is long and leanThe color of the sun, and his eyes are greenHe has the nerve and he has the bloodAnd you'll never meet a horse like the Tennessee Stud">"What's a gun?">"You'll find out sooner or later.""He got just as lonesome as a man can beDreamin' of his life in TennesseeThe Tennessee Stud's green eyes turned blue'Cause he was a-pinin' for a sweetheart, tooHe loped right back across AppleoosaHe built his store and a still for all'Round came the filly with the pastel hairAnd he wanted her as his Tennessee MareThe Tennessee Stud is long and leanThe color of the sun, and his eyes are greenHe has the nerve and he has the bloodAnd you'll never meet a horse like the Tennessee Stud">"W-what? Anon!">You winked at Kissy Wings with your last line, but you couldn't hold back a chuckle>Even Bombshell had a laugh>Nothing wrong with teasing the new mare>But she sure looked fetching with that hint of a blush under her pale pink hide>You strummed through the melody one more time as the thought ran through your mind>Ah well>Maybe you'll have someone someday* * *A little silly thing before I disappear again.Stick around, RGRE.I can't come back to finish my greens if the whole thread gets propellered
How small is too small for a pony? Personally, I think anything smaller than a good-sized spaniel is pushing it.
>>40526799i knew I saved this pic for a reasonlove u nignogs. n-no homo
>This might look like an unassuming pony>Maybe a little lanky>Sorta dike-y even>But don't let the looks fool you>Under this laid back, goofy horse is an apex sexual predator>Her primary prey?>Humans>From tail to snout she's been evolutionarily designed to entice and delight a human fella >She can smell a human male from ten miles away>Her voice is the most pleasant pitch for their ears>Her eyes are able to cause any human looking to be lost in them>To them, she's the softest, fluffiest, has the best wings, the cutest hooves, and the most pleasant odor>Once her prey is found, she will mate with him for life and beyond>She hasn't quite gotten with the world's only human Anon yet, but when she does she will have a 100% success rate>The second she gets Anon into her and Gleamings bedroom, she's blowing his back out, sucking his soul out of his body, making him a race traitor, all of that lewd stuff>Then she'd have herself a cute alien horseband to care for and spoil>Then, very soon, babies>A lot of them
>>40527123counterpoint: moon brushies
>>40527123No chance. No escape.
>>40527123Look at this hero.
>>40527206I ain't no homewrecker gal.
>>40527123That's funny. Well race play is hot I kinda want to do something with twilight, then maybe become race traitors together.What will the news say.
How would mares react to a smol cute stallion who'd make a perfect house husband whose also hung like an elephant complaining about his giant cock always dragging on the ground wanting to get a reduction?
What in the everloving derail is even going on here?
>>40527356That would be like a women talking about getting her vagoo shortened to relieve cramps or something. The analog for boobs is balls, so the question should be about getting his balls shrunk to relieve chaffing or something.
>>40523757I'd imagine seeing themselves in that form makes them uncomfortable since that would be the equivalent on putting a vagina on a guycrack fic idea>"Look at this! This is some dyke shit going on.">"Calm down rainbow, it's just a drawing.">"They emaresculate me by giving me a colt's equipment! This is some cowshit.">"We can't judge Anonymous'... interests since he did live in another world.">"But your highness! Don't you think that what they're teaching their is wrong? I mean look at you in this, you don't even have a single shaft in you yet there's guys all around!">Celestia's mouth forms a thin line at the brow-raising picture>"Why don't we just change his taste then?">The Mane Five plus Celestia turn to Pinkie stuffing herself with the tissues found on Anon's trash>"I mean-" *chewing* "-just yesterday I was able to convince Nonny about trying the Super Sugary Summer Special cupcake and he thought it was disgusting until he tried it.">"Now he can't have enough of it.">Everypony in the room had a big thunk>"So if we can make him taste some mare pussy, he'll change his preferences?">"I mean... It makes sense since magically speaking, Anonymous is a virgin when I checked.">All of them turned to Twilight >"...What? It doesn't hurt to check if the colt staying at your home is one. It's not creepy.">"Twilight may be on to something here.">Celestia turned to the balcony overlooking Canterlot>"If we can make Anonymous' taste turn to something favorable then maybe his obsession will subside, maybe even disappear.">She turns to the Mane Six>"Now, who'll volunteer tribute to do the honors.">Everypony looked at each other, first with concern, then with shiftiness
I did it. Now just need to edit.
>>40528581>Pinkie stuffing herself with the tissues found on Anon's trash>>*chewing*
Big ol' milkers.
>>40529470>a dyke wearing stallion's lingerie
>>40529481Not stallion's lingerie. The existence of the term ballbra implies the existence of bras not meant for testicles, hence the reason to differentiate. Bras for teats 100% exist in RGRE
>"I'm sorry to say, your request I cannot foray.">Be Rarity>With you was your herdsister Fluttershy>Both of you had found yourself in Zecora's hut>You were both here on behalf of Rainbow, who was currently keeping Anonymous "busy">Something about socks and a ponytail if you recall correctly>Lucky mare..."Zecora, darling. I know that this is a strange request, but we do need this potion made," you said, placing a hoof against your chest. "Bits are not an issue--">"Bits are fine, but for this I cannot get behind," the zebra interrupted. "A potion to grow a seed in alien soil is a task great indeed. I challenge and a danger that I'd like to be a stranger.">You and Fluttershy exchanged glances>Your newly formed herd had gone to Twilight to see if there was anything else Zephyr could do to bother you>Unfortunately, there was >An ancient, no doubt forgotten law where a stallion could force another stallion out of a herd of high statue mares if the latter was not able to give the mares children>Twilight had sworn that she was combing through Equestrian common laws to purge this and any law like it, but that would take time>From what Fluttershy and Rainbow said, Zephyr was lazy, but he was also desperate to have Rainbow, meaning he might just find this law>So, the three of you had decided to nip it in the bud>None of you knew if Anonymous could knock up a mare>But, you were all sure the magic of the zebras could fix that>There were stories of them making potions that would let one be impregnated by rocks>Meaning a simple alien should be a piece of cake>Fluttershy, though never saying anything out loud, seemed the most determined to be impregnated by your "stallion" >Normally, she would have shied away from the shaman's refusal, but instead she closed the distance between them>"Mrs. Zecora. I'm sure you know what happened in the market with my brother, right?" she asked>"I was there for a spell. I know what of you tell," Zecora said with a nod.">"I, um... love my brother, but it isn't a very good person," Fluttershy told her. "He's trying to do something that will make Rainbow miserable, probably for the rest of her life if we let him. It's why we're here, and why we need this portion. I'm sure it won't be an easy thing to do, but I need you to consider helping up.">Zecora have her a long look>"Forgive me if I seem to scoff at your plight, but the stallion cannot be that bad, right? He is just a colt, sure and true; perhaps a little pushy, but what can you do?">To your surprise, Fluttershy just smiled>"In that case, why don't I bring him here for a little while?"
>>40529522>but it isn't a very good person>personFluttershy, is there something you'd like to share?
>>40528581>>The Mane Five plus Celestia turn to Pinkie stuffing herself with the tissues found on Anon's trashthat is vile
>>40529522No ulterior motives here at all, Fluttershy just wants to help a close friend.
>>40529522>Be Rainbow Dash>Be at your house>Wearing socks>Mane and tail tied up in a ponytail>But BUCK all of that!>Anon's face was currently between your legs>You didn't know exactly what a jolly rancher, but the big colt seemed to think your mare juice tasted like it>From his eagerness, he seemed to like jolly ranchers>A lot>A worrying amount even"ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!">You had never had a colt go down on you before>Colts didn't really do that>Like, at all>They also didn't suck or bite your teats either>Or squeeze and pinch your flanks>Or pull your tail really hard--"BUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK~">You shook, coating Anon's face and neck with your cum>It didn't even slow the stallion down from his licking and kissing and whatever the hay he was doing with his teeth>That was your fifth orgasm>At this point, you're pretty sure this stallion is trying to kill you~_~_~_~_~_~>From the place behind a convenient bush, you watched as Fluttershy and Zephyr left Zecora's hut>They had only been there for ten minutes by your best estimation >Zephyr was chatting his sister's ear off as they walked by you>Fluttershy was just nodding, clearly only half listening>You waited until both were completely out of sight before leaving the bush and making your way toward the hut>Fluttershy had assured you that this would work, but you had your doubts>They had been in there for such a short time after all>Nevertheless, you knocked on the shaman's door before opening it"Zecora, darling?">There, in the middle of the hut, right next to her couldron, sat Zecora>The Zebra had her tail tucked close to her body>Her ears were drooping against the sides of her head, and she was slumped as if she was exhausted"Zecora? Are you alright?" you asked, trotting over toward her>Zecora made no move, as if she hadn't heard you>Moving next to her, you saw a haunted look in the shaman's eyes>"He was... terrible," she said>You frowned"Dear, you didn't rhyme--">"You'll get your potion, Rarity," she interrupted, staring off into the distance>Slowly, she laid on her belly>"That thing CANNOT reproduce," she whispered>A little rude to a colt, but you'd take it"I'm in your debt, my dear," you said with a smile. "I--">"He cannot reproduce," she repeated.>...>You really needed to speak with Zephyr yourself >The stallion seemed a little... extra, but he really didn't deserve all this>Probably...>Hopefully...
>>40529555>No ulterior motives here at alSure. Except maybe the tiny issue of ending up in a herd with her own brother if he invokes that law replacing anon.Pretty retarded for such a law to exist, but whatever
>>40529522>>To your surprise, Fluttershy just smiled>>"In that case, why don't I bring him here for a little while?"This is a hate crime.
>>40529573I imagine the herd would just break up at that point, which would leave Rainbow to her fate.
>>40529571giving rainbow brain damage through cunnilingus
>>40529684her brain is already damaged
>>40529695making rainbow braindead through cunnilingus
>>40529684>>40529716>Fluttershy and Rarity come home>Find a hastily-scribbled note instead of Rainbow and Anon>"took r-bow D to glue factory, pray for mojo">Rarity face-hoofs and goes directly to the hospital>"I wish he'd stop calling it that.">Rainbow is hooked up to machines that keep her heart beating and her lungs breathing>No brain activity>The herd is horrified>Anon blames himself>Everyone visits daily of course and try to see what they can do, but Anon practically lives in the minotaur-sized chair he dragged next to Rainbow's bed>Weeks pass>Anon is doing a cross-word when he drops his pencil>Gets up from his chair, bends over to pick it up>Feels a firm pat on his ass>"Have you gotten into the ice cream again, 'Non?">Anon is a stress-eater.>Anon turns around to find that Rainbow Dash is now conscious>Calls a nurse immediately, they do tests, etc>It's discovered that the stimulation overwhelmed Rainbow's brain, and it shut down to protect itself>Rarity and Fluttershy are notified (family/herd gets priority) and they rush in, hearing something they never thought they ever wanted to hear again>The sound of Rainbow Dash snoring, snoozing in Anon's arms while he curls up around her on her hospital bed>Anon now only saves eating his mares out for special days like their birthday, and always sets a timer to avoid putting one of them into a coma>Nurse Redheart sort of becomes a friend of the family, and likes to embarrass them in front of their foals by enlightening them as to exactly how their dad put (smug) mama Dash into the hospital all those years ago
>>40529571What did Zephyr do to our Zebra?
>>40529571kek, made me think of this
>>40530159Damn... hospitalized from orgasming too hard...
>>40529571>You can eat out Rainbow until she's stupid>Rarity and Fluttershy though?>Each time they cum, they seem to get hornier and hornier until you're held down and fucked stupid>More often than not, both you and Rainbow end up half conscious on the bed/floor/couch while the other two go about their business>Lord help you if you bite one of their teats
>>40530595>Rainbow is just a hair trigger quickshot>Rarity and Fluttershy don't calm down until they've been creampied
>>40529571Flutters is almost scarily strategic in this one.
Deranged janny strikes again.
>>40530159A horrible scenario. Not cause you leave them braindead for a while, but cause you are not allowed to eat marebox.My biggest turnon is eating box, being unable to is a sin against my soul.
>>40531750Nothing says you can't eat marebox, you just have to be a little less enthusiastic in doing so. I guess similar to if your partner enjoyed gentle treatment, but is turned off by a hard pounding. Or something. I don't know, it's not like I'm ever going to have sex.
>>40531750>>40531772or if one of your girls is giving you a particularly hard time you can just pin her clit in place and annihilate it leaving her catatonic for the day
>You, Anonymous the Unicorn, stirred in your slumber. >After yesterday, you felt like you could’ve slept for a week.>Celestia always brings that damn sun up, so here you were waking up once again.>Gently moving your big old hoof around the covers, you play out an unusual morning ritual that’s worked its way into your repertoire.>Eventually you bump it into someone, and a quick ruffle of her fur confirms it’s Cut.>Then it occurs to you: is it weird you’re able to tell Pike and Cut apart by how fuzzy they are?>Hmmm.>Trying not to face the harsh reality of the answer to that question, you continue idly running your hoof through Cut’s fur.>You don’t know what she’s been doing, but it's been a lot softer recently! >Cut clearly appreciates the attention, cooing softly in her sleep and scooting up against you.>Heh, if Pike’s your huggable living teddy bear, Cut’s your squeezable living pillow.>Hey, speaking of your living teddy bear... she doesn’t seem to be around.>Or at least you can’t feel her.>Which is odd, it's a rarity for her not to either be on top of you or under you in some way.>Seeing as her bat brain seldom has her up before you.>You’ve often wondered how she doesn’t find those positions uncomfortable, but then again /you’ve/ never found them uncomfortable either.>Some weird pony thing you suppose.>Almost as weird as your damn hyperactive nose!>A nose that’s smelling... breakfast. Lots and LOTS of breakfast, the most intense breakfast you’ve ever smelled!>Your eyes snap open in perfect sync with Cut’s.>”Do you..?”>You nod back.>Now that you’re focusing on it, it smells like someone cooked an entire breakfast buffet in your own damn house!>Still shaking off the dregs of sleep, you and Cut languidly flop off Pike’s shortened bed and trot out of the bedroom.>Only to find that the kitchen counters have, in actuality, been filled to the brim with plates of breakfast food.>You aren’t sure what else you expected.>”EEEEeeeeeEEEEeeee...”>Your head whips toward the defeated sound.>Their lies Pike, face up on the ground, looking utterly deflated.>”eeeeeee...”>Without hesitation you rush to her side.Lifting the small bat in your hooves, you cry out: “PIKE! Speak to me!”>Her eyes roll over to focus on you.>”Eeeee— Oh, hey you two. I,” she interrupts herself with a wide yawn, “I didn’t hear you get up.”>You blearily look around the room, once again taking in the breadth of the meal set before you.“I mean, not that I don’t appreciate a surprise breakfast. But what is all this?”>Unsteadily, she extracts herself from your hooves, still blinking the sleep out of her eyes. >“Oh, this? I woke up a little earlier than usual so I figured I’d... you know, put something together!”>”A /little/ earlier?” Cut marvels under her breath. “This must have taken hours...”>You think Cut’s right. Based on the state of Pike and the sheer amount of food, it seems like “a little earlier” is a serious understatement.
>>40531917>But why? Pike /hates/ getting up early. >Even years of guard training never managed to get that out of her.>There’s definitely something more going on here.>Heck, it left her so out of it she didn’t even notice Cut say anything, and she’s got the best hearing here!>”Then when I was done, I realized I still had some time and didn’t know what to do and—”>She interrupts herself with another fanged yawn.>Alright, enough is enough you say.“Well, let’s get you back in bed and then we can worry about eating.”>”What? No! Eat now while it's still warm!”>Knowing she’s far too weak to fight back, you assert yourself as the man of the house and throw her over your shoulder.>”Nooooo! Anoooooon!” she feebly cries.“No buts! Back to bed!”>She struggles the whole way back of course, but compared to what you know she’s capable of, this is nothing.>Heck, by the time you’ve even gotten back to the bed, /that/ even seems like too much for her.>She’s resigned herself to quietly mumbling about being “marehandled” under her breath and nothing more.>But, you’re taking no chances.>Very gently, you levitate her over and act quick as a flash!>Before she could even hope to wiggle free, you’ve got her wrapped in a blanket cocoon of impenetrable might.>Which, in her current state, means she’s now stuck on the bed no matter /what/ she does.>”Nooo! I’m not a moth, I'm a baaaaaaaaat...” she cries.>But not even a moment later, those melted away to the soft sounds of a snoozing Pike.>You let out a relieved sigh and turned around just in time to catch Cut walking in with three plates carefully balanced on her back.>Aaaah she was going to serve everyone some breakfast in bed, that genius!>She knows she’s a genius too, you can see the wisps of a satisfied smile on her face.>At least until she focuses too much on balancing the plates and trips over her hooves.>”WoooOOOAAAHH!”>For a moment it almost looks like she’s going to salvage it.>She leans into the stumble, hard. >So hard that she actually manages to keep the plates from immediately flying off her back.>Unfortunately, it was also so hard there was no way for her to recover.>The lean rapidly turned into a fall, pulling her hooves right out from under her.>But just when the plates start to leave her back...>You reach out.>Being a unicorn, who you’ve decided must be the most OP of the tribes, you’re unconstrained by things like distance or number>You don’t have to throw yourself off the bed and rush over to Cut so you can catch her, you just /do/.>Before even a crumb can hit the ground, Cut and all three plates are perfectly caught in your hands like you’re Spiderman.>It takes Cut a second to open her eyes, having clenched them shut in anticipation for her reunion with the floor.
>>40531920>When she does, she silently sends you a grateful smile.>Which you must say goes /fantastic/ with her embarrassed blush.>Seeing as you’re already on a roll today, you decide to hoist Cut into the bed directly for some of that breakfast in bed.>She is heavier than Pike, obviously, but with a few extra hands...>Wait, would that actually help? >It's all going back to your horn anyway. >Would distributing the weight further /actually/ result in less strain if it requires you to project more hands to do so?>What’s the baseline thaumic strain per hand to weight lifting ratio?>...you’re going to kill this line of thought before you lose your focus and drop her.>You are Nocturnal Pike, and you just had one weird dream.>You woke up /really/ early, but despite that, you were unusually ready and raring to go!>So ready to work in fact, that you decided to capitalize on these feelings of domesticity and surprise your herd with some breakfast!>Breakfast you made, only to realize there were still a good couple of hours before they’d be up.>Which left you with nothing to do but make something else!>And something else. And something else...>Why does the entire house smell like breakfast food?>”W-Well I’m not exactly the most /well-versed/ in magical theory. But if I had to guess, the weight distribution seems like it would offset the cost of maintaining the hands up to a certain point.”>”Ah but I want to know what that point is! Although, it would probably vary by weight. Hmmm damn.”>Great. First thing in the morning and your herd’s already being NERDS.>Better put a stop to that!>You attempt to stretch your hooves, only to realize you can’t move them at all.>It feels like you’re wrapped in something. Wrapped TIGHT.>Snapping your eyes open, you find yourself bound to the bed. >Wrapped in a blanket cocoon that seems suspiciously familiar.>Oh no.“Anon.”>He pauses mid-bite of some even more suspiciously familiar breakfast food.>”Oh you’re up!”“I didn’t turn everything in the ice box into a gigantic breakfast, did I?” you flatly ask.>He shares a sheepish look with Cut.>”Well, not /everything/.”>Oh no! It was real! It was all real!>Awwwww what were you THINKING!? Is everypony supposed to eat breakfast leftovers for the next week?!>It had just been so... fun!>It was /fun/ to try out all those new recipes knowing that Anon and Cut would eventually dig into them.>All without even the slightest fear of reprimand.>Besides, it's not like you had anything else to do in what counted as the wee hours of the morning for you.>”This quiche is really good, Pike!” Cut says between mouthfuls. “I didn’t even know we /had/ pastry dough!”>You let out a sigh, still a little disappointed in yourself for getting so lost in the moment.>But... you suppose it's not all bad.
>>40531923>Massive waste of food or not, neither of /them/ seem particularly upset about it.>If anything it seems like they love it! >You can spy a plate left out for you, but an attempt to reach for it just serves to remind you that you are still functionally imprisoned here.>Sure, you could probably fight your way out of it. But where’s the fun in that?“Are you two going to unwrap me?”>You nod your head toward the food they left.“Or is this one of those restaurants where the waiter hoof feeds you?”>Anon’s eyebrow shoots in that adorable way it does whenever you say something that offends his human stallion sensibilities.>”Wha— no. You are messing with me.” He turns towards Cut, concern creeping into his voice. “That’s not real.”>Focusing as hard as you can, you pray she picks up on your mental cues.>Times like this you wish she was a bat.>There are few things better than talking at frequencies other tribes can’t hear right in front of them.>She blushes, “Well, uh I don’t know anything about that—”>NOOOOO!>”—but Aunt Jargon made me go to a restaurant where we ate /off/ of a stallion once. It was uh... not great.”>Huh, that was a /very/ convincing delivery by Cut.>Too convincing.>Anon rolls his eyes, "Okay, now I KNOW you two are full of it.”>”It's true!” she cries, “She wanted to celebrate some award the paper got, so she dragged me along!”>Cut crosses her forehooves like she’s incensed, but she seems more sad than anything.>”I don’t even LIKE sushi. And the stallion was really weird about it too.”>You don’t really want to admit it, but you’re starting to believe this really isn’t a joke.>Cut’s humor rarely leans toward absurdism, and this seems too out there to even be funny!>Anon still clearly doesn’t believe her, “And what, was he naked? Oh ew, was there hair in the sushi!?”>A shameful blush colors Cut’s face, and she completely refuses to look either of you in the eyes.>Okay, either her acting’s gotten way more convincing, or she’s not joking.>Whispering, she replies, “Full tack.”>Your heart stops.>Anon, his weak Unicorn hearing not tipping him off, asks, “Sorry, what?”>This time, Cut manages to get her voice above a whisper.>”H-He was in full tack.”>Uhhhhh WHAT!?>There is not a doubt in your mind she’s not joking now, that reaction was too real. >The heck was Jargon thinking!? >Cut STILL has trouble keeping it together when things get lewd, and that's with her /coltfriend/.>In what world would putting her in that situation be a good idea?>You're all lucky the poor mare didn't have a stress-induced heart attack! >The reality of the situation is rapidly dawning on Anon now too.>Now with far less mirth, he asks, “What, like that horse riding stuff you two wanted me to buy at Silkens?”>Cut only barely manages a nod, before locking eyes with her hooves and starting to idly tap them together.>A tell you instantly recognize as something she does whenever she’s embarrassed.
>>40531926>Anon, who clearly also believes her now, is flabbergasted, “Why on Earth did Jargon do that?”>Cut flinches ever so slightly, and grimaces at the memory.>”S-Something about it being easier to talk to stallions after I’d seen one dressed up. I don’t remember.”>Stars damn it, that is EXACTLY how that idiot would justify it.>An angry screech starts to build in the back of your throat, but you force it down.>Add that to the long list of reasons you hope Jargon puts you in a self-defense situation one day.>Anon was obviously equally unenthused.>While he shook his head in disapproval, his mind was no doubt already slinging expletives never before heard by ponykind. >”Unbelievable,” he mutters. “There’s something wrong with you ponies.”>WHAT!? Hey wait a minute!>Who’s Anon think he is, trying to act holier than thou and lay this on the equine race?>You’ve heard his stories about humans and you’re not going to take such SLANDER lying down!>Deciding it is decisively not fun to keep waiting, you fight valiantly against the blankets constricting you.>Thanks to some choice applications of your finest anti-grappling techniques, you eventually loosen the knot.>Then, with naught but a flex of your marely mare muscles, you are freed! >Anon was so busy smiling at your fight he couldn’t even hope to prepare himself for your accusatory boop.>It of course lands true, and he lets out an adorable, “wooah!”“Don’t you start mister! I’d bet my fangs humans had the same thing— no, something even weirder!”>He shakes it off, and you note he’s getting better at recovering from those.>”Nuh uh! I NEVER heard about something like that happening back home! What would even be the point? Beat off while you eat?”>Anon stops dead as a look of true horror blooms on his face.>One that mirrors yours.>It seems the same horrible revelation occurred to you the same moment it did to him.>Slowly, fearfully, the two of you turn back to Cut.>His voice was uncharacteristically unsteady as he asked, “Jargon didn’t... y-you know... did she?”>Cut blinks, her eyes lacking comprehension.>”Did she what?”>You and Anon share another uneasy look.>Neither of you want to say it, to breathe the horrifying possibility into existence.>So you settle for making a certain hoof motion every mare knows.>This time her eyes light up.>”Oh. Oh! EWWW! NO! What is wrong with the two of you!?”>Anon raises his hooves defensively.>”Hey, hey, you’ve gotta admit Cut: your family’s let you see some pretty weird stuff.”>Like the wind was sucked right out from beneath her metaphorical wings, her righteous indignation evaporates.>”W-Well I guess I see what you mean. But she wouldn’t do that!”>You and Anon double-team her with a flat look, but surprisingly she stands her ground.>”She /wouldn’t/.”>He chuckles, “Yeah, well I don’t believe you. And that’s just /another/ reason why you and I are going to play hooky today!”>You stop, utterly surprised.
>>40531934>It's not abnormal for Anon to skip work, but Cut too?>Besides, you’d fully expected to spend the day alone at home to test out being a housewife.“Since when?”>”Since you were out cold. We discussed it and seeing as /someone/ decided to blow through nearly every bit of foodstuff we had at our apartment, I figured the three of us could take a trip to the market. Spend some time together.”>That certainly doesn’t sound like a bad idea!>Although, you feel there’s something “off” about it.>Something you can’t quite put your hoof on.>Ah well, it probably doesn’t matter.>Cut buts in, “A-And while that still sounds like a good idea, I can’t just not show up to work! I’m the chief editor!”>Hmm, she seems oddly reserved about the idea of not skipping work.>Cut’s work ethic was nothing to sneeze at, you’d think she’d have an easier time standing her ground on an issue like that.>Certainly an easier time than defending that creep Jargon.>Is there something going on here?>Anon rolls his eyes, “And /I/ said don’t worry about it! Just blame it on “whimsical” old me.”>”But—”>”It’ll be /fine/. Just tell Jargon I insisted we spend the day giving you exposure therapy to my balls or something.”>The room goes silent, only the sound of Cut’s dropped fork hitting the plate rings out.>You know she’s thinking what you’re thinking.“Or, now hear me out, instead of going to the market we could /actually/—”>”Oh hush.”>But unbeknownst to all of them, a grim warning lay in wait just outside their door.>A warning Anon himself had written and would subsequently ignore.>On the calendar, in big bold red letters was the message: “STALLIONS BARGAIN DAY THE MARKET: DO NOT GO SHOPPING”.There we go, at long last. Hoping to get back in the groove now. R8 h8 and if you wanna read from the start, start here https://ponepaste.org/158
>>40531937I can't wait to see what the catty stallions at the market have in store for the protagonists
>>40531937>“STALLIONS BARGAIN DAY THE MARKET: DO NOT GO SHOPPING”.https://youtu.be/6b6Sn0RBmRo?si=-sVkm1HW7Sv0-ClMmy body is ready
>>40531937I love you. These updates are always worth the weightThe dynamic between the 3 is so good
>>40531937it's always a joy to read more of LaS, thanks for sticking with us for so long>>40532196>The dynamic between the 3 is so goodTheir personalities really do compliment one another especially when it comes to potential for reader amusement
>>40531937>“STALLIONS BARGAIN DAY THE MARKET: DO NOT GO SHOPPING”.kek
>>40529533"Person" is category of things that think. Humans is people. Ponies is people. Dragons is people. Yaks is, um, well, the point is "people" doesn't just mean "human", it means a lot of things.
>>40529533The etymology of "person" is weird. It looks like the Romans borrowed a word for Mask from Etruscan and meant it as a role as in a stage performance. It has simultaneously always been a word for humans, but not limited to mean humans.
>>40530159I find hard to believe nobody ever found out and documented the fact that extreme sexual stimulation would cause brain resetting. Especially since the princesses are DEFINITELY into some S&M shit and would go into overstimulation for shits and giggles.
>>40531970>>40532094>>40532196>>40532243>>40532249Thank you kings. Sorry it took so long, but now I'm hopefully over the hump so updates will be coming much faster. This will NOT be half life 3
>>40532831>This will NOT be Half-Life 3"He says, moments before the demonic magicka of Gabenus Newellio The Unfinisher consume him whole... One more story incomplete to feed Gabenus's ravenous hunger..."
>>40532918>Cause of death: consumed whole
>>40533391You do not want to know what happens to those not consumed whole.
>>40533409For them, it wasn't worth the wait
>>40533426It's worse... They start making capeshit marvelslop.Truly a fate worse than death.
>>40532831I'm late but thank you
Marelet, marelet of them all,Just as wide as she is tall.
>>40529571LaP. You're not shitting on Rainbow like you usually (and deservedly) do.Are you okay? What's wrong?
>>40531934ok, maybe im too dumb but i dont understand what jargon not did, by the way, thanks for the uptade, i love you green text
>>40534427https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyotaimoriplus the idea that clothing is erotic and nakedness is normal.
>>40534427They're asking if she beat off while she ate.
NO MARESEIGHT HOURSNEED MARES
>>40519274Bombshell my bombloved
>>40535550She's a cute little hopeless romantic.
>>40537045why is the pony pooping sandwarms
>>40529571>jolly ranchershave you forgotten that her nickname has been Skittles since like, the beginning of the fandom?also there are some ESL-like issues with some of the spelling/grammar/word choice, otherwise it's a really nice story. good job! keep on writing!
>>40450800Are you going to continue with your green theEQGkid?
>>40531937>and if you wanna read from the start, start hereHoly shit that was a lot of fic anon, I'm fairly new to these threads so I was unfamiliar with yours, but after reading from noon to... fuck i think almost 5am yesterday lol? I still wasnt caught up lol. Finally finished today though, and you got me really hooked lol. I like that you're mostly using OCs and saving the show chars for cameos. It's given the story a good layer of unpredictability imo, it feels fresh. I'm really looking forward to seeing it continue :>Oh, and please tell me you'll give followup appearances for the Wonderbolts like you did for Prince Blueblood & Co, the scene with Spitfire and Fleetfoot was fucking gold!Speaking of that scene though, in a world of pastel technicolor ponies, what would even classify as "stallionist danger hair"?
10 aint it
>"Firing our cleaner?">"Are you out of your bucking mind?!">"I don't care if he might be stealing military secrets!">"That alien colt has the fattest shitter I've ever SEEN, mare!">"If we can him moral in this base will plummet! Do you want that? Huh?!"Anon is stealing secrets, but only bad ones that don't tell anyone anything important. It drives his superiors crazy
>>40539589I can see how the average human might sexualize the pony rear (it resembles a bent over woman) but how would that work in reverse? Wouldn't it be the opposite, where humans have smaller butts?
>>40533937<3>>40537795Glad to hear it! Good to know despite its length getting away from me I can still hook new people. And I do have a little something something planned but I won't spoil it yet.And as for the spoiler, I think of it like a bad OC. Mane colors that clash extremely hard with the coat and would appear (to a pony's eye anyway) obviously "unnatural"
>>40539705Humans have really big butts.Compare humans with their nearest evolutionary cousins. Humans, being bipedal, have much bigger muscles back there. A well-toned human ass is comically large by the standards of a quadruped.
>>40539589>"Hey, you hear the Wonderbolts for a new cleaner?">"Yeah. They say he has the biggest, juiciest butt you've ever seen.">"Lucky bitches. They get that and we get dykes in maid outfits because the princess is a weird pervert.">"Shoulda been a fast flyer, feather head.">"You know who'd a fast flyer?">"...You better not say my dad.">"Your dad--"
>>40539801>Anon is maybe 5 or 10 pounds overweight>Keeps hearing mares mutter about "dat flank, tho" and comparing his ass to various baked goods>Anon becomes self-conscious about his weight
>>40539872>>"You know who'd a fast flyer?">>"...You better not say my dad.">>"Your dad--">"GET OUT!"
>>40539872>we get dykes in maid outfits because the princess is a weird pervert.Those are all either POWs or the ultimate form of punishment for fuckups in the guard and you can't convince me otherwise.
>>40540062>Anon starts working out with Bulk Biceps. YEAAAH!>Doesn't skip leg day.>Anon's ass goes from a curiosity for ogling to a genuine mare magnet.>Unicorn mares walking into walls (and earth pony mares walking through walls) while staring at Anon's ass. Pegasai falling with suddenly-rigid wings.>Luna is baffled by all these big-assed stallions in everypony's dreams.
>>40539705It might not be exactly size, but they way the butt is shaped. It's hard to describe it in words, but pony butts are a lot more "oval" while human butts are more circular. Circular butts might genuinely be seen as attractive in Equestria, meaning even Anon would get some attention over it.
You know, I see a lot of breeding and pregnancy talk just in general on /mlp/ but I rarely see people write about the actual foals born.I've been thinking, in a herd setting, foals would probably pick up characteristics/interests, not just from their mom and dad, but other mares in the herd as well, causing a sort of fusion effect of these ponies.Like, I was thinking up cutie marks that might end up belonging to these foals, and came up for one in which Anon is herded with Rarity and Maud.The foal in question would take on one mother's love of fashion, but also the others love of petrology (studying rocks).The end result would be a little filly who ends up being a jeweler who excavates, cuts, polishes, and creates her own accessories, such as rings and earrings.Cutie Mark would be pic related- a fusion of Maud and Rarity's talents.What are some other fillies or colts you can come up with that have developed unique personalities from being around your favored herds?
>>40541706interesting proposal. how do you explain odd ponies out like ponka in her family?
>>40541733Outside influence. In this case the sonic rainboom. Up to that point, she was a lot like her family.Plus, in general, black sheep syndrome isn't unheard of. Sometimes ponies can take completely different paths then their families, but we're mostly focusing on the ones that don't.That being said, you could also come up with a foal that, like Pinkie, is an outlier, and explain what puts them at odds with their mom(s) and what the resulting cutie mark might be. Like Rarity's foal ends up being into construction, wearing a gaudy safety vest and helmet and whistling at stallions. She'd be mortified.
>>40541733It sounds more like a strong possibility, than a hermetically sealed certainty.Skill floor inheritance via pedigree is a real thing irl.
>>40541733The Pinkamena personality is closer to her family. Psychotic breaks in Equestria could be reversed too where your mind shatters into soft pillow, and kittens, and sprinkles, instead of gibbering madness.
What are some other mares/cutie marks I should try fusing?What would the talent be?
Would you impregnate a sphinx, Anon?
>>40541796Fluttershy and Octavia in a herd produces a filly who loves playing music for then animals at her mom's sanctuary to help them relax and recover faster.
Hey gang, Smutanon here. No, I am not back to writing yet. I did do a short one-shot, though. Let's say that it's a side story in the Alien Encounters universe.So, what do you think you would act like if mares actually started hitting on you? How bizarre would that actually be? Equestrian Magic>Be Anon.>A Jewtuber of minor success.>After finishing a video, you sit down to watch it to make sure there's no errors.>The video starts running. >"Hey, guys, xX_Faggot_Youtuber_42069_Xx here.">"Yes, I'm back. Yes, really, as you can see from my tan and unshaved beard. No, I did not eat any enchanted food that made me stay there forever, the time was not dilated where spending a few weeks there meant that hundreds of years passed here or vice versa, I did not kiss any magical frogs that turned out to be cursed princesses, I did not fight any dragons, or any of that other stupid tropey shit.">"You need to remember that, while Equestria is a parallel reality and has weird creatures we have in our myths, they're far from a perfect match. All those fairytale tropes are also something that we came up with, and none of them take place in Equestria. So, no, while it's a magical an bizarre place, it's not like what you think.">"So, now that we got that out of the way, I'm sure you have questions. "Magic, what's that like?" And so on. If you're still in the disbelief or bargaining stages and don't think that Equestria is real, then this video is not for you. Yes, we have met aliens, and yes, they are real, and yes, I just came back from a two-week vacation there. So. Equestrian magic.">"Most of you are probably going to ask "What's it like when they touch you with that glowy stuff and hold you in their magic field?", or "How does it feel to ride one of those pegasi carriages?", or other kiddy stuff. Yeah, you heard me. Kiddy. Stuff.">"We already saw people reacting and making stupid faces when ponies did their magic. Telekinesis is magic 101 for every unicorn, and flight for pegasi is the same as walking for us humans, not to mention that we already have tropes of our own for that stuff. There's hundreds, no, thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of books, comics, and movies about wizards and superheroes with those exact abilities - telekinesis, flight, all that stuff. No, for you, my viewers, I am going to tell you about something far, far stranger than you could possibly imagine, something that I experienced myself. Something mind-boggling. Something truly alien, not a "ooh, sparkles" type of thing. I'm certain some of you have heard that their females don't act like ours? Yeah...">"So. I was in this bar, having a drink..."---------------------------------------->You sit on a slightly too short bar stool, sipping on your beer.>You half expected for the ponies to have some kind of crazy, glowing, bubbling, frothing magical drinks that would turn you inside out, but no, they have more or less the same stuff that bars stock on Earth.
>>40542218>Ales, beers, ciders, (though ciders are far more popular than beers, a reverse of how it's on Earth), mead, stronger spirits, and so on.>The crowd seems largely similar to a crow of humans, and at the same time, entirely and completely bizarre.>It's not like they're acting strangely. It's exactly the fact that they're acting like a bunch of humans, while they're a bunch of brightly colored magical ponies is what's throwing you off.>You notice that a lot of ponies keep glancing at you, looking you up and down again and again.>You're not terribly surprised. You are a literal alien, after all. Humans do the same thing back on Earth, only ten times worse.>With how many intelligent species they already have, you guess it's a little less shocking to see another one tossed into the mix.>You examine the ponies too, though you do it from the corners of your eyes, trying not to draw any attention to yourself.>Don't want to offend someone and get your ass kicked, and then get kicked out of the country, after all.>Unfortunately, it seems like your dumb face attracted too much attention anyway.>Three ponies approach you, taking up the stools on both sides.>Internally panicking, you try to decipher their body language.>All of them are smiling, their ears aren't pinned back or folded like in those photos that you saw of pissed-off ponies, so you're not in trouble... You hope. They're also females, so they're not very large.>Two of them have wings, and they're slightly extended, though.>You dearly hope that that's not a signal of "I'm going to drop-kick you if you look at me funny".>Their tails twitch occasionally, which is also not a signal you know the meaning of.>The one to your left flags down the barmare, and glancing at your mug, puts down a bunch of coins on the counter.>"Sailor's cider, please, whatever my friends order, and a refill for the lord here.">Lord? The fuck?>You say absolutely nothing as she turns and winks at you, feeling your gut tense up.>This is what you were afraid of.>Everything seems normal and exactly the same as on Earth, until you trip over something you can't make heads or tails of.>Her friends place their orders too.>"Mead, please.">"Two shots of applejack.">The barmare works fast, and a few moments later, a fresh mug of beer lands in front of you.>You slowly keep drinking from the first mug, not sure what accepting the drink means in this situation.>The pegasus that paid for the drinks turns to you after taking a deep pull from her mug, licking off the foam of her slips in a weirdly slow and demonstrative way as she looks at you with a grin.>"So, big guy, been in Equestria long? You have that disbelieving look a lot of newcomers have. Not that the portal's been open all that long, but, you know.""Oh, mm, no. I've barely been here for... Well, less than two days. This is just my second day.">"Ahh, that explains it. Vacation?""Yeah..."
>>40542220>"Heh, quit panicking. Don't humans chat each other up in bars?""Well, they used to, though I think they do it less these days.">The pegasus sitting to your right speaks up.>"There's rumors how it's near impossible to talk to people back on your world. Any of that true, or just ponies making up stupid manure to get in a newspaper article?""Well, I mean... It's not entirely wrong. These days, people just... Talking to someone out of nowhere is a way to get called a weirdo or shouted at, in some places. Not that anyone likes nutcases like that, but they kind of poisoned the well for everyone else.">"That's pretty messed up.""Not going to argue there.">The first pegasus speaks up again, making you turn your head.>"So then, you wouldn't mind if we chat for a while?">You turn back towards her."Uh, I guess not...">The unicorn, who was sitting behind the second pegasus, downs one of her shots and levitates the other one.>"In that case, mind if we go to a table? Talking like this is pretty awkward.""A-alright...">You finish your first mug and take the one that the mares bought you as you stand up.>They suddenly stick very close to you as the four of you navigate the bar while trying to find some empty space.>One pegasus and the unicorn press their sides into your legs, while the second pegasus flaps her way in the air behind you.>The bar is fairly crowded, so it's not that easy.>Eventually, you find a smallish booth in the corner, the mares guiding you towards it.>At their gentle nudging, you go first, and they move in after you, trapping you.>It looks like it'd fit four ponies comfortably, but with you there, it's a bit of a tight fit.>The mares seem to rather enjoy that fact for some reason, the unicorn and the pegasus all but draping themselves on your sides with massive grins.>You jolt a bit as you feel something grab your legs.>Looking down, you notice that the mares have wrapped their tails around them.>Still confused and with no other actions available, you take a drink.>Fortunately, the mares are entirely happy to keep pushing the conversation themselves.>"So, what's your name?""Anon.">"Well, pleasure to meet you, Anon. I'm Thunder," The cider-drinking pegasus introduces herself.>"Name's Spring Showers," The one with the mead says.>"Solder Spark," The unicorn toasts you before downing her shot."Ah, it's a pleasure, ladies. Um, thanks for the drink.">"Oh, don't even mention it. It's how we do things here in Equestria when we chat someone up. Common courtesy, really," Thunder says."Alright. Good to know.">"So, what brings you to Equestria?">You sigh internally sigh in relief at the safe and innocuous topic."Well, I wanted to see the place, really. An alternate dimension? Anyone would be interested in that.">"Yeah, but what about it was that you wanted to see? It's a rather big topic, to say the least. Quite literally the entire world."
>>40542227"Ah, well, it wasn't the cities or the tourists spots. The country isn't anything too stunning, no offense. It's really nothing you wouldn't find on Earth. I haven't been to the magical cities like the ones made of clouds, of course, but the other stuff, well, it's just the same as anywhere. It's the people that's the interesting part.">All the mares seem extremely satisfied by your answer, for some reason. The unicorn grins at you with lidded eyes.>"So, you wanted to see and learn more about ponies?""Yeah? I mean, what else is there to do?">"That's wonderful! We'd be happy to provide you with lots and lots of close-contact, first-hoof experience! Very, very happy," Thunder almost purrs, leaning into your ear and almost whispering the last part, her breath tickling your skin.>You tense up as Solder does something similar, putting a hoof on your thigh and slowly rubbing it back and forth."M-hmm. Learning is a two-way street, and we'd love to learn more about humans, too. Telling you everything you want to know would be great fun, though. And I do mean *anything*," She grins, ever so gently rubbing her nose against your cheek.>You notice that her muzzle is incredibly soft. The only reason you don't lean into her when she pulls back is because you're so tense.>"I think you're scaring him a bit, girls," Spring Shower warns them, though she's still smiling as she watches you.>Their reaction is quite opposite to what you expect them to do after such a warning.>Thunder leans in even more, pressing her muzzle against your ear.>"Aww, poor guy," She coos. "Humans don't act this way, do they?""N-n-no, not really," You stammer.>"Shhh.... Shhhh... It's okay. You're in Equestria. We do things a little differently here," She soothes you, gently running circles on your chest with her hoof. "That's why you came here, didn't you? You want to experience something different?""Yes...?">"Well then, don't be afraid. We're not going to hurt you, I promise. We just want to show you some Equestrian hospitality. It's quite flattering that you decided to come here, you know? It's nice. Means that you find us interesting. Makes us want to be nice to you too," She keeps whispering in your ear.>You take a deep pull from your mug as the gears turn in your head, smoke almost coming out of your ears.>You mentally smack yourself at the ridiculousness of it all.>Two fluffy, adorable pastel ponies are rubbing up against you, and you're practically shitting your pants, as if you were facing down a xenomorph.>They probably just like to communicate physically a bit more. Herd species or something like that."Right, right. Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed. Take it easy on me, alright?">"Oh, sweetie, don't worry about that. We're not that kind of mares, we know how to treat a stallion right," Solder reassures you, rubbing your thigh again.>"Would you like a hug?" Thunder asks, suddenly extending her wings as far as the limited space allows.
>>40542229>Your thoughts completely derail for a few seconds as you examine the fluffy pony next to you, her wings outstretched as she shows them off to you.>You can't help but trail their lines and contours, every feather as she smiles proudly once she sees how thoroughly you're checking her out."Sure," You eventually say, not even remembering to what you're agreeing to.>Immediately, she latches on to you, wrapping you in a feathery embrace.>...>Did you just die and go to heaven?>Holy shit this is amazing.>Your hands shoot up almost without you thinking about it, wrapping themselves around the pony and pressing herself against you.>Your face is completely stuffed into her fur, the fluff a heady mix of strange scents.>You already guessed that ponies must be soft, but the scent...>Ozone, definitely, that odd smell of wet earth after rain, and what you guess is the scent of the mare herself.>Sweat, but not to the degree that it's offensive. It's quite nice, actually.>"Oooooh..." Thunder exhales breathily.>"Wow, he really latched on to you, huh?">"Poor guy clearly needed it.""Sorry," You say, gently pulling her off.>"Nooo, you clearly need more. Far, far more.">"Allow me," Solder volunteers with a smile.>She can't envelop you like pegasi can, but she's still enthusiastic.>Gripping you tightly, she nuzzles your chin, rubbing her entire head and mane on your neck.>You can't help but inhale her scent as well, when she raises her head a bit and her mane ends up in your face.>She smells like a mare. She also smells sparkly.>As you sit there, some part of your brain keeps analyzing the events.>It takes a bit for it to catch up, but you finally get something workable when Thunder leans back in to just barely nibble on your earlobe, only with her incredibly soft pony lips, with no teeth.>The drink. Calling you a lord. Rubbing your thigh and getting all physical. Offer of the "lots and lots of close-contact experience".>Of course, just because that bit of your brain came to a conclusion, the conclusion itself is quite a thing to attempt and process.>They're hitting on you.>They're.>Hitting.>On.>You.>YOU.>*ATTRACTIVE FEMALES* are hitting on *YOU*.>And they're not just trying to get free drinks from you, either. THEY bought YOU a drink.>You freeze completely as the mares keep grinning, running their tails along your legs, and otherwise caressing various parts of your body.>You weren't this stunned and confused when you stepped through the portal, saw ponies doing magic, or anything remotely like it.>Put all of those things together, and it'd make just a tenth of how alien and impossibly surreal the experience is.>Oh yeah. Equestria's an alien dimension alright.>Solder's hoof wanders from your thigh so close to your dick, she's almost touching it.>That makes you start moving again, reflexively taking another pull from your mug.>It's the last of it.
>>40542232>"Want me to get you another drink, stud?" Spring Showers immediately asks."I, ah... Maybe?">You ponder what she called you as she flaps off.>Stud.>It's not a word humans use often, but you get the meaning.>Yeah, it looks like they're done being subtle.>Though you guess they weren't very subtle to begin with.>And even that was probably putting it mildly. You just didn't get the signals they were sending you.>You trace the forms of Thunder and Solder Spark as they lean against you, smiling happily when they see that you're checking them out. flexing a little.>"Like what you see, big guy?""Yes, quite... Quite a lot.">"So, that thing about learning about each other... I heard that you guys don't smell things as well as we do?" Solder asks."I have no idea how well ponies smell things, but judging by your noses and muzzles, I'd say that's a definite yes.">"Your sense of touch is way better than what we have, though, right?" Thunder adds, clopping her solid hooves together."I'd assume so, yeah.">"Well, Anon, I'll be honest with you, we've been smelling you quite a lot. And, let me tell you, I like it. But it seems quite unfair and one sided. So, want to... Touch me?" She inquires, moving he eyebrows up and down at a ridiculous speed.>You swallow nervously as your mouth suddenly becomes dry as a desert.>Spring Showers saves you as she hoofs you a mug, from which you take a deep pull, finally finding your voice again."Yes...">"Well, go on then. Don't be shy, I don't bite. Unless you ask nicely.">You follow her command, gently running your free hand through her coat.>Solder Spark snorts.>"Come on, Anon, she told you not to be shy.">Using her magic, she gently grabs your hand and guides them lower... And lower... And lower.>Your eyes go a little wide at the sparkly sensation as she takes your hand all the way to Thunder's - flank, you think it's called?>Then, she uses the same magic to make you give Thunder's flank a strong squeeze.>"Oooh... I like that.">The magic disappears immediately after, your hand reflexively unclenching as you quickly pull it back.>"So, Anon, are you enjoying learning about ponies with us?">You grimace as your dick starts straining against your pants."Yes, maybe a little too much, even.">"Oh dear, we didn't meant to make you uncomfortable..." Solder dramatically gasps.>"It must be this crowd. Would you like to go somewhere more quiet and... Intimate?" Thunder breathes in your ear.
>>40542235------------------------------------>The video is almost at its end.>"And that's it. Equestrian magic. Answer me, honestly. Did any one of you think of such a possibility? Sparkles, spells, all that stuff, sure. But did any one of you ever thought you might get honestly *hit on* by three mares at once? Equestrian magic, I tell you. Left me stunned. Speechless. Flabbergasted. Lost. Confused. Floored. Surprised. Shocked. Bewildered. Astonished. Confused. Dismayed. Overwhelmed. Astounded. Breathless. All of that stuff.">"Yes, unicorns smell sparkly. What does that mean? Well, it means that they smell like sparkles. No, I am not going to qualify that statement in any way. Unicorns smell like sparkles. If you want to know what that's like, you'll just have to go to Equestria and smell one.">"That's it. That's the end of the story. What, were you expecting something else? Yeah, okay. I went with them and they showed me some magic. Sparkles and stuff, you know? Yup, that's it. End of story.">With a nod, you hit the upload button.>As it's doing that, your thoughts keep wandering, coming back to those three mares hitting on you in that bar.>That was still the most surreal, unbelievable experience of your entire life.>Among the souvenirs you brought with you, there's a small slip of paper with an address in Equestria and a small note written on it.>"Come visit if you're ever in Equestria again, stud - Thunder and the gals."Ponepaste:https://ponepaste.org/9528
>>40542241His sense of smell seemed to work just fine there. Sparkly is a good smell. I bet Fizzlepop Berrytwist smells the most sparkly.
>>40542371It's not that human sense of smell doesn't work, it's just that ponies have it better. They'd be able to effortlessly smell the same things while sitting across the table, instead of needing to stick their noses into each other's coats.>>40542345Of all the bizarre and reality bending things ponies are capable of, hitting on guys, including ones that women wouldn't look twice at, is the one that baffles and mystifies people the most.
>>40541733The exception to prove the rule.Pondering how an averaging effect of talents would affect pone society would be an interesting story too, if not Rgre.
>>40541733Forced expression of her parents' sublimated desires for merriment and frolicking.
>>40541733She’s also the twin with Marble.
>It's an old tradition for both the day and night guard to have a few studs in the barracks>It was always seen as a way to help increase moral and discipline amongst the ranks, especially during spring>No hot-blooded mare would have the threat of sex being taken away by the higher ups without a very good reason>For the studs, it's seen as a well paying government job that helps Equestria's troops>In recent years, humans have become the preferred studs, as they can be trained much more easily to please so many mares in a shorter time without extensive use of magic or potions>With humans, you also don't need to hire as many studs; usually one male per two units, where with stallions or gryphons one per unit was needed>The guards themselves really, really, really like hands>Many studs will wear the colors of their unit, as well as some trinkets their mares get for them
>>40544387>>It was always seen as a way to help increase moral and discipline amongst the ranks, especially during spring>moral>adjective>concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human characteror>noun>a lesson, especially one concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story, a piece of information, or an experiencecompared to >morale>noun>the confidence, enthusiasm, and discipline of a person or group at a particular timei'm not angry at you personally, anon, but this particular typo makes my fucking autistic blood boil
>>40544594Fuck yeah, a fellow grammar nazi! Preach, brother!Same damn thing here as well!>40539589>"If we can him moral in this base will plummet!moral-E!
Do stallions feel like there's such a thing as too much ass? Because I do.
There's also such a thing as too much crotch-titty. But this ain't it. This is, in fact, just about right.
>>40545175If your ass is more than a fifth of your body, it is too big.
>>40544594The hivemind is real. I was gonna mention that holy shit.Also, to the one anon who writes "pegasai" instead of "pegasi", please stop.
>>40545175Welost's art has completely fallen off a cliff.
>>40545424All well and good, but wingjobs are where it's at.
>>40506372Beating children is never acceptable.>B-but it's just spanking!Never acceptable. If you raise your hand against a child, you will immediately be in the wrong. It is literally that simple.
>>40545440That's analfags for you. He's capable of drawing decent proportions, he just doesn't.
>>40545440Are you saying that welost a real one?
>>40545450t. never spanked as a child
>>40545193See? That's what I was talking about! She hops everywhere so she doesn't kick herself in the teats with every step.
>>40545652Exactly. My parents did a good job and I learned respect and how to be a mature adult in a healthy and loving manner. It was never necessary to beat me, no matter how much of a little shit I was at times.
>Nof runs away from /mlp/>Re-surfaces making generic AI faggotry on /trash/How the mighty have fallen.
>>40545774>caring about a namefag>everyou have only yourself to blame
>>40545774Why don't you just marry the dude if you're going to bring him up every week?
>>40545193I fucking LOVE strawberry milk. Y'all are faggots if you don't like strawberry milk.
>>40505948used to post on fluffybooru back in the day. Let me take a crack at an alternate ending >You keep whooping his ass for a good five minutes before you heard him shout:>"I CAN’T GIVE UP! I WON’T YIELD TO YOU, BEAST!”>He covered a now thoroughly black and blue butt with his back legs and wings.>”I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL!!">You can tell from the way he’s biting his lip that he’s close to crying.>You start to realize that this isn’t going to stop. No matter how hard you beat him, he’ll keep coming back for more.>It’s time for something a little more invasive.>You grab onto Zephyr by the neck and pull him down, so his body is parallel with the ground. That’s one bendy spear.>The stallion struggles to keep his tail in position. You watch for a minute, let him tremble as he tries to keep his backside covered. >You grab onto his tail and pull it down, exposing his brown starfish. >”H-hey! What the fuck are you doing, y-you gaylord!”>Fluttershy squeaks, and makes a move to stop you. Rainbow blocks her path with her wing and smiles. She knows exactly what’s about to happen. Zephyr is still oblivious.>”Y-you’re a fucking faggot, aren’t you?”, he stutters. “Am smawty! Gib wowsiest-OWOWOW!!!!!>His words are cut off and the crowd gasps in horror as you thrust your broom handle into his rectum, earning a chuckle from Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy shrieks behind you.>”Oww!!!! OWWW!!!!”, he yells. >”Who’s the fag now, bitchass?”, you say. You push the handle further up his ass. Given he’s a two foot long horse, you’ve probably reached the end of his anal cavity.>Zephyr’s screams get progressively louder as you begin to sodomize him. He cries and shouts as you weave in and out, and the pony starts to bleed out of his ass. >Rainbow puts Fluttershy in a full Nelson and forces her to watch her kin get raped. Butterhorse starts crying almost as loud as her brother. >You drop his tail and grab onto Zephyr so you can get a better grip. You push the broom handle in further, and you can feel his colon perforate under your force. As the crowd stands frozen in fear and shock, Cherry Berry quietly begins to masturbate.
>>40545892warm strawberry milk is so goodmy mom would microwave it whenever she made it for me
>>40545774You got a link? Or I guess a thread name, since linking won't work. I want to see his AI faggotry.
>>40545896I'm imagining this scene as one of those old short looping video clip swfs, with Du Hast playing over it.
>>40546213nta but 99% sure this is him >>>/trash/61196648
Alright, so where exactly is the line between slutty fetish clothing and proper clothing, whether it be formal, casual, or work wear?
>>40521995Continuation:>The rest of the Mane 6 were flabbergasted at what happened>Twilight only saw the figure moved for a split second and sent Rainbow into the ground>The figure turned to them, with their cloak covering up their face but she could tell they were amused"Good try but try to bring someone faster next time.">With that, the figure continued to walk towards the tree line>She gritted her teeth and tried to lift the figure up in the air>However, try as she might, her magic can't reach them>The alicorn princess exerted so much energy into her horn but nothing happened to the figure>Think of something fast>"Rarity, crossbow!">The unicorn broke from her shock and tried to aim at the figure >With a single tug on the trigger with her magic, the bolt flew far>And landed a meter away from her target and poked into Rainbow's Butt>"HHHHMMMMFFF!!!">Rainbow cried out in pain underground.>The figure looked back and was surprised "Oh dear, you should get that looked at.">Okay this is getting ridiculous>Instead of targeting the entire body, Twilight decided to yank their hood off>They stumble backwards as their entire head is finally revealed and they turn towards her revealing themselves to be>"H-Human?">They or he judging from his facial structure, looked at the Princess of Friendship and spoke with a low tone"You know of me?">The two exchanged looks in silence before the human turned away"Well, guess that cat's out of the bag.">After that single comment, the figure disappeared into the treeline---------------"Heya, got my stuff back, that you left by the way, let's go home.""...What?">"H-How did you?""Did what?">"You know what I mean! How did you move so fast that Loyalty got her turd kicked in a-and- what did she call you? Hyooman?""Can we do this later? I mean, you already know about how I interact with magic.">"I know! But being immune to magic and being blindingly quick to catch something moving at the speed of light is different! You're hiding stuff from me again!"*sigh* "I'll tell you about it all later. Right now, I have a burnt hooves to fix since SOMEONE thought it was a good idea to challenge the local dragon for her hoard.">"Hrmmmmph!""Oh don't you 'Hmph' me missy."
>>40546650--------------- >5:10 PM>Princess' Twilight Log>We had first contact with Nightmare Moon's forces>So far we had one casualty>"Twilight I'm not dead.">Not only that, but the enemy forces manage to get some sort of magic that negates magic>Anti-magic magic>Truly Nightmare's plans know no bounds.>"Um, Twilight? Do you want the blueberry or the raspberry cupcake.">"Raspberry please.">After the culprit escaped deeper into the woods, all of you grouped up in Ponyville Hospital>So far, Rainbow Dash got some bruises in her face from the impact and a red spot on her butt from Rarity>Nothing like unicorn magic couldn't fix>Applejack decided to cut the tension in the room.>"So Twilight? Ya said the thing was a hyooman?"
>>40545892>when you're streaming and your chat won't shut up about you playing Strawberry-Milk Borne
>>40547085>Equestria has strict censorship laws regarding content in vidya so developers use strawberry milk as a workaround
>>40546503What about it makes it sound like NOF?
>>40546503Does vaguely resemble his style, but so what? He seems like a stubborn bastard. If he changes his mind and comes back, he'll come of his own accord.
>>40547118Instead of "Prey slaughtered", it's "Glass of milk knocked over"
All I want for christmas is a mare to hold me.
>>40547983me on the bottom left except without the virtual reality goggles
>Be Anon>One day, you decided to go for a walk>While walking, you let your mind wander, as you usually did while walking>Unfortunately, you seemed to have day dreamed so hard that you found yourself far out of Ponyville>Out of Ponyville and into what looked like the Everfree>Ponies were scared of this place>You, not really so much>You got why they were scared, what with being little sexist horses and all>But you were a grown adult man>You'd be fine>Still, it was getting dark, and if you keep wandering you'd get even more lost>You knew Twilight would have a fit if she had to get a search party to look for you>Again>Thankfully, above the trees, you could spot smoke from what you hoped was a chimney>Maybe whoever this was would be able to guide you back into town~_~_~_~_~>Be Zecora>Shaman mare that rhymes very good>You were good as curses as well, but you didn't tell ponies that>The pink one in town suspected, but nopony seemed to believe her>For now>You were in your zebra hut, doing zebra things>What you really wanted to do at that moment wasn't zebra things however>You were a shaman; a distinguished position amongst your kind, but a lonely life>Doubly so in the land of Equestria>As fulfilling as your life was, you would enjoy some companionship of the stallion variety >It'd be nice to have a cute that would keep the hut clean and cook you nice foods>The two of you could go out together to collect rare herbs that would brew the most powerful potions>Potions that you would, of course, refuse to sell to knights because they are too weak for themAnd, of course, you'd like a nice ol' ding dong>Hooves and the occasional toy did not lead to a satisfied sex life>You really just wanted nothing more than a pin a stallion down and ride him until her couldn't see straight, then keep doing it>That and throating a dick until he flared and your neck rings snapped clean off your neck>You could even make potions that would keep him going all night long and them some>Was that too much to ask?
>>40548175>>You were good as curses as well, but you didn't tell ponies that>>The pink one in town suspected, but nopony seemed to believe herI got confused at first and thought you meant "she cusses a swear and is good at rhyming the word "fuck"."
>>40545774Stop bitching and go back to working on your green.
>>40547191its less the tone and more that the picture matches other stuff hes posted on his discord
I bet that having a herd of mares in middle-rung trades would be weird sometimes. Like, you have a handful of foremares and regional/general mare-nagers who are all used to being able to tell ponies to do shit (and for those ponies to actually go and do it). I reckon that those mares would butt heads all the time. My, what shenanigans there would be. Imagine the mirth. The casual sexism. The occasional teat-twisting.
>It's cold in the Crystal Empire>Cold enough to snow in the summer>Winters can be absolutely brutal, especially for those without fur, like you>Even in the castle, some nights were so bad no matter how many blankets you had you couldn't stay warm>It made sleeping... difficult>Princess Cadence eventually noticed your exhaustion>The mare was able to get you to spill the beans with little effort, and once you did she just as quickly came up with a solution>A strange one, but one she insisted would work>So, that night you didn't return to your bedroom, instead allowing the alicorn to led you to hers>Lady-consort Gleaming had seemed excited when you walked into the royal bedchamber for just a moment, but just as quickly became business-like>It was a little weird sleeping with royalty>You sort of thought that they'd make you sleep at the foot of their massive bed, but no, they showed no hesitation in snuggling right up to you>The princess even laid a wing over you>Both of them made the night more than comfortable, so much so that you only needed a thin blanket over the three of you>You slept like a baby and no horn poked your eye out in the middle of the night, which was ideal>The next few weeks that was the new routine, each time coming into the royal bedroom and sleeping with the most powerful mares in the kingdom>Other than your nightly activities, things were pretty normal>But, very slowly, you did notice some changes>A lot of the crystal mares that liked sexually harassing you began to give you a wide berth>The various maids would bow or ask if you needed anything much more than before>If some noble or diplomat walked by they'd tip their fancy umbrellas>The stallions somehow got even grumpier around you as well>It was all kinda strange, but you didn't try to pay it all that much mind>Lady Gleaming took you to a nice little restaurant one day to just chat and hang out>Recently, the princess got you a little pin with her and Gleamin's cutiemarks on them>When you started wearing it pinned to your shirt, she began being more affectionate at night>She even gave you a smooch on the cheek as she snuggled up with you>It really was nice to be warm
>>40549040now this is what i needed
>>40549040god i love cuddling for warmth prompts
>>40549073Lucky Paul "Anon" Hammersley
>>40549040Anon, you must continue. My heart can't take it.
Teenaged goth Glimmy is made to be bred.Come to think of it, would stallions be baby-crazy or would they be trying to avoid having foals at all costs?
>>40548175>>Potions that you would, of course, refuse to sell to knights because they are too weak for themkek
>Fedmare every time you and Bombshell are in the same general area
>>40549863>be me>Terry A. Davis>kidnapped by the CIA and left in a colorful world of talking horses>feds>all of them>especially the ones with horns>glowies probably trying to cast spells on me
>>40550051>pastel horses coming up with theories about why the hoo-man calls them "glownies"
>>40549758>Be KnightAnon>Staying in Ponyville while you prepare for your next adventure>The locals were really nice, and you even met a princess! Wouldn't be a bad place to settle down once you retire.>But that's for later. Right now, you need to make sure you have everything you need for your next quest.>Apparently there's a giant black dragon corpse poisoning a river down North. The locals can't get rid of it because the carion is attracting other beasts, and the guard is taking too long to do anything.>You can tell it will be an arduous mission, so you must be ready for anything.>You peruse your checklist to make sure you already have everything.>Water? Check.>Food? Check.>Camping Equipment? Check...>You continue this small routine until you reach the last item on the list.>Potions... Pending.>Potions were an essential part of questing, and you probably couldn't even get close to the corpse without them due to the toxins.>Alas, Ponyville is a quaint little Earth Pony town, so potions aren't of easy access.>Thankfully, while talking with all civillians in the streets, as all adventurers do, you came to learn of a supposed zebra shaman that lived in the Everfree Woods, right outside town.>*Really* beating the stereotypes, that one...>It wasn't too hard to find her house once you entered the Everfree. You'd been to Zebrica once, so you got well acquainted with how the zebras marked the surroundings of their homes.>No encounters with the wildlife either, save for some birds. They were either scared of coming close to the shaman's house or were afraid of showing themselves to the fully armored knight walking around.>Right now, you are face-to-face with the door to the shaman's humble abode.>You knock, and a feminine voice beckons you in.>You do just that. Now inside, you get a good look at who you're dealing with. A female zebra of average height, sporting a mohawk and golden ornaments along her neck and ears.>*Reeaaaaaally* beating the stereotypes, this one...>She sits there, staring up at you in complete silence, though with a small, cordial smile on her face.>You realize after a bit that she's waiting for you to initiate the conversation. So you do as you've always done."Hello potion seller-">You realize you misspoke a little too late, too used to talking with actual sellers instead of shamans.>She didn't seem to mind it, though, giving you an encouraging nod.-i'm going into battle, and I want only your strongest potions.">As soon as you finish, she starts chuckling. What?>"My potions are too strong for you, traveler.">You chuckle a bit yourself after hearing that. It wasn't the first time a potion brewer had tried to avert you from purchasing their best stock.>You could have told her a bit of your tales to get her to reconsider, but you knew from experience that just being persistent netted you the same results at a fraction of the time.
>>40550075"Potion Seller, I tell you I am going into battle, and I want only your strongest potions.">"You can't handle my potions. They're too strong for you."You take a deep breath. 'Patience', you remind yourself."Potion Seller, listen to me; I want only your strongest potions.">"My potions would kill you, traveler. You cannot handle my potions.">It's true that some potions were so powerful that they could actually have detrimental effects, but you never heard of any that could kill a pers-a pony."Potion Seller, enough of these games. I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest potions.">"My strongest potions would kill you, traveler. You can't handle my strongest potions. You'd better go to a seller that sells weaker potions."You ball your fists in frustration. Any other seller would have already given up by this point, but this zebra seems particularly stubborn."Potion Seller, I'm telling you right now; I'm going into battle, and I need only your strongest potions.">"You don't know what you ask, traveler. My strongest potions will kill a dragon, let alone a mare. You need a seller that sells weaker potions, because my potions are too strong.""Potion Seller, I'm telling you I need your strongest potions. I'm going into battle! I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest potions!">"You can't handle my strongest potions! Nopony can! My strongest potions aren't fit for a beast, let alone a man."Your voice starts to wobble at this point, and you can feel your eyes begin to get wet.>God, you must sound pathetic. Felling mighty beasts and traversing perilous dungeons has become second nature to you, but holding an even somewhat negative conversation is enough to turn you into a mess.>Just a really clingy remnant of the past you chose to leave behind once you arrived in this world.>You think of just turning back right now, but you *really* need those potions, so you plead with the zebra one last time."Potion Seller, what do I have to tell you to get your potions? Why won't you trust me with your strongest potions, Potion Seller? I need them if I'm to be successful in the battle!">"I can't give you my strongest potions because my strongest potions are only for the strongest beings and you are of the weakest.">You cross your arms, done with this charade."Well then that's it, Potion Seller. I'll go elsewhere. I'll go elsewhere for my potions."
>>40550077>"That's what you'd better do.">You start heading for the exit while uttering a few final defiances."I'll go elsewhere for my potions, and I'll never come back!">"Good. You're not welcome here! My potions are only for the strongest and you're clearly are not of the strongest you're clearly the weakest.">You're halfway through the doorway when you decide to turn around, point at the zebra, and damn her one last time."You've had your say, Potion Seller but I'll have mine. You're a rascal; you're a rascal with no respect for knights. No respect for anything... except your potions!">She smiles.>"Why respect knights... when my potions can do anything that you can."------------------>Be Potion Seller, better known as Zecora.>And you just got done telling little Apple Bloom about the weird Minotauress that visited your shop last week.>"Wait a minute, ya said that this mInotar or whatever was wearin' full armor? Like... a knight?"Indeed, though as much pride as she took being knightly, her teats proved quite tiny.">"Based on that description, ah'm pretty darn sure ya were talking with Anon...">Oh, so your friend happened to know that dyke. You give a curious nod, urging her to continue her sentence.>"It's just that... Anon's a hyooman colt, not a mare or a mInotar.">...>...>...>Buck your life.
You're all cowards if you don't want to hold your mare's hoof in public.
>>40550077>>Buck your life."If you see dis purple dragon in yo' yard, heh, just know upstairs I'm goin' hard.""Bing Bong."
>>40550077>not making zecora's dialogue rhymefor shame. cute story thoughmy poor attempt at remedying this:"-i'm going into battle, and I want only your strongest potions.">"I mix only the finest brew, my potions are to strong for you.""Potion Seller, I tell you I am going into battle, and I want only your strongest potions.">"My potions you cannot handle. To their strength you don't hold a candle.""Potion Seller, listen to me; I want only your strongest potions.">"My potions would kill you, traveler. You cannot handle my potions without becoming a cadaver.""Potion Seller, enough of these games. I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest potions.">"My strongest potions would kill you. You can't handle my strongest brew. A seller that sells weaker potions you should pursue.""Potion Seller, I'm telling you right now; I'm going into battle, and I need only your strongest potions.">"You don't know what you ask, my potions i cannot share. My strongest potions will kill a dragon, let alone a mare. You need a seller that sells weaker potions, because my potions are too strong for your knightly notions.""Potion Seller, I'm telling you I need your strongest potions. I'm going into battle! I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest potions!">"You can't handle my strongest potions, nopony can! My strongest potions aren't fit for a beast, let alone a man.""Potion Seller, what do I have to tell you to get your potions? Why won't you trust me with your strongest potions, Potion Seller? I need them if I'm to be successful in the battle!">"I can't give you my strongest potions because my strongest potions are only for the strongest beings and you are of the weakest. I have no obligation to honor a lowly knight's request.""Well then that's it, Potion Seller. I'll go elsewhere. I'll go elsewhere for my potions.">"That's what you'd better do. Find someone with a weaker brew.""I'll go elsewhere for my potions, and I'll never come back!">"That is good, you should leave, you're not welcome here! My potions are only for the strongest and you are not of the strongest you're the weakest, that much is clear.""You've had your say, Potion Seller but I'll have mine. You're a rascal; you're a rascal with no respect for knights. No respect for anything... except your potions!">"Why should I give knights respect... when my potions win in every aspect?"
>>40550216rhyming weakest with request is a bit of a forced rhyme, otherwise well done.
>>40549040I was looking for some posts to be a needless dick about, but this was a nice.
>>40550216I fucking hate writing for Zecora for this reason alone.
>>40550359I kinda like rhyming. It takes extra time, but it's fun.
>>40550372>rhyming>extra timeYou didn't even fucking rhyme.
>>40548175Zecora a cute. Would impregnate.
>>40549040>Gleaming prefers to be the big spoon>She likes to be facing the door, just in case someone where to break in>Her favorite position is on her side, a hoof draped over your chest, your head nestled against her furry chest>Most mornings, you'll wake up to her warm, moist breath washing over the top of your head>Cadence could be big spoon or little spoon, but she always preferred to be belly-to-belly with you >She'd make sure you both were close together as physically possible of course>She wouldn't wrap a hoof around you like gleaming, but she had no issue holding you in her big wings>If Gleaming ever got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, more often than not she'd come back to bed to see you wrapped up tightly in those wings, much to her annoyance>Throughout the night the princess would make little adjustments >You'd feel her muzzle in the nape of your neck, then against your chest, then the top of your head, then against your cheek or shoulder>Both mares have a natural, sort of hard to describe scent>Even after showering, you can still smell both of them on you>By now, you find it comforting, and it helps you fall to sleep
>>40550795>those hipsMan, no wonder Anon fucked Zecora. Fact: zebras have the best hips in town. The real reason Zecora lives away from town is because too many mares got upset that "these bucking zeebs" were going to steal naive colts. >Twilight isn't attracted to Anon, but her Canterlonian upbringing has her feeling vaguely off-put that Anon is dating Zecora>She's just glad that Twilight "Ol' Ironsides" Velvet isn't there to see this, or else she'd have words with the mayor
>>40550876>>Both mares have a natural, sort of hard to describe scent>>Even after showering, you can still smell both of them on you>>By now, you find it comforting, and it helps you fall to sleep>Mares in town mutter about another colt getting "jinx'd" >"I fucking hate unicorns."
>>40550876>sort of hard to describe scentSparkly?
>Mare just wants you to be comfortable while she takes you out.
>>40551289>>takes you outwhat did she mean by this?
>>40551418She's a hitmare, she wants to make sure your final moments are acceptable.
>>40552165man i'm far from a stallionist but it is kinda fucked up to imply that being raped first would somehow make getting murdered better. human colts may be ridiculously kinky like that but the average stallion would not consider that an improvement
>>40550897Ba dum tsh
>>40550075>>40550077>>40550079>>40550216Thy cruelty, potion seller, knows no bounds.
>>40521549I want Celestia to mock and tease me about my futa fetish after she discovers tons of futa pics of her on my computer.
This is a proper ass. Plush and squeezable without being grotesquely oversized.
>>40542235>mentioning the smell and touch sense disparitythat's muh fetishstill waiting for more Alien Encounters
>>40553555checked trips of wisdom
>>40542241Good shit as usual, SmutAnon.
>>40553555It's a unicorn, and Rarity at that, so it needs a /tiny/ bit more fat.
>>40552466shut up Caramel
>>40549863>YES I'M A FUCKING FED>FUCKING FED UP WITH YOU CUNTS NEVER DOING ANYTHING RADICALIt was right there.
>Be Anonymous>Find yourself in a strange world of ponies>Find out that strange world of ponies is even stranger because gender roles are reversed>Get sick and tired of being treated like a fragile piece of glass>You take the chance to slip out while everypony is sleeping before the sun rises>For some no ponies get up before the sunrise>Weird ass alicorn magic shit>You go to take a walk in the woods, since that's one of the few pass-times you have in this world without internet>You find a nice spot where you can watch what should be a beautiful sunrise, but just ends up being the moon jerking downwards and being replaced by the sun>"Anonymous?">Ohshitsocialinteraction>"Fluttershy? What are you doing up so early?">"Oh, um, well I usually wake up early to feed all the little critters, and then I usually like to come over here to enjoy the view.">Ohshityouintrudedonherpersonalspace>"Sorry about that, I'll leave if you want.">"No!">You're taken aback at how loud she is>Granted, it's basically just a little louder than normal speaking volume, but for Fluttershy that's surprising>"Sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just wanted to say that I don't mind you staying. It'd be nice to have somepony to talk to sometimes."
>>40555170aw yeah cuddling with flutters while watching the sunrisehow fuckin romantic
>"So what do you for a living, Mr. Anonymous?""Squash vampire.">"E-excuse me?""I'm a professional squash vampire. When a mare needs to get every last drop of squash soup licked out of her, I'm the guy you call.""Mr. Anonymous, I'm trying to run a town here, not a brothel! You can't just --- a-ahhhn! Oh my Faust, don't stop!">Be Anon.>You love your job.
>>40555406At first I thought Anon was a caveman who hunted vampires."Me squash vampire. Vampire no come back."
>>40555491I desperately want Caveman-Anon in RGRE. Complete with speaking broken English and bashing people over the head with a wooden club, resulting in comical and ultimately harmless injuries. HIs house was transported to Equestria, and there is just a cave and a small chunk of a mountain sitting outside the Everfree, which he uses to hunt food. And any time Rarity tries to get him to wear clothing, he only wears shirts on the condition that he can rip the arms off and leave a noticeable collar around the arm holes. And he probably has some sort of neckband around his neck, making him easier to animate. I'm picturing just a 1960's Scooby Doo type caveman. Walks all hunched over and shit. REALLY scared of modern technology, and will deteriorate into a hysterical panic at the sight of any sort of magic. CavemanNon just starts flipping carts and tables and whatever, REEEEEEing because some mare put on a light show near him. Will most likely attempt to kill one of the Yaks the first time he encounters one of the ornery fuckers, and whether or not he succeeds depends on the writer.And then cut to 5 years later, and it's just regular Anon in a suit. He learned to behave like a normal person, and things continue as any other normal Anon in Equestria story would go. "Please don't talk about my wild-man days." I'm high as fuck right now
>It's the year one-hundred-and-fifty-five AT, and you, Anon the human have arrived in the Crystal Empire.>It's kinda weird living in a Crystalpunk City, but you manage.>LCD screens are at least quite amazing here.>The one in Flurry Heart's room especially so.>Apparently the mare is over a hundred years old, but she doesn't act like it when you stomp her butt at Mareio Kart 221.>Cozy Glow makes a point to say as much as she watches the two of you play from a desk she has set up in her BBFFN's room to do paperwork.>Best Boss Friend For Now.>You already asked.>The pegasus mare was apparently in her fifties, but she looked good, you're pretty sure.>You aren't an expert on pony aging, after all, but a few streaks of grey and some crows feet don't seem too severe.>Like, for instance, Flurry's mom looked the same age as her daughter, even if she did give off big mom energy, like barging into the room constantly to ask if you want snacks, then telling her daughter she really needs to clean her room.>She makes a good cookie, that's for sure.>She really only looks her age when she's looking at photos of her husband who passed away some time ago.>When you see her in that melancholy state, you can't help but try to help her through these dark moods.>Usually just asking about him and trying to get her to remember the good times.>It's the least you can do while she lets you stay with them in their castle.>The night of their anniversary got a little out of hand, though.>You found Cadence in the kitchen that night, two bottles into a wine binge and with tear stains on her cheek.>Well, one thing led to another, and she ended up shoving her tongue down your throat while you were trying to comfort her.>Then Flurry came in, saw, and started freaking out, Cozy followed soon after and threatened to go smash the Crystal Heart, all while Cadence blabbered frantic apologies.>Needless to say, things have been awkward for the last couple days.>What exactly are you going to do?
Seconding cavemanon but only if he unknowingly causes the extinction of the yaks
>>40555627i am going to be the reason she drinks twice as much and visits two graves a hundred years from now. you can interpret this in many ways.
Seconding cavemanon but only if he knowingly causes the extinction of the yaks
>>40555627Forgive her and ask her about setting me up with twilight?
>>40555627>"Well, off to see your father"
Here's a prompt that's not going to go anywhere unless I write it myself some day.>Be human in Equestria with a portal to Earth.>Only there on vacation, to de-stress after you heard just how friendly, nice, and "friendly" mares are.>Travel around for several weeks, see a bunch of cities.>Never have to spend a single bit on hotels, since mares keep inviting you to their homes for some fun.>Some only care for your dick, while others are lonely mares hoping for some companionship after they heard just how easy it is to get a man to go home with them.>They're still in disbelief when it actually works and you happily go to their places and then proceed to not just fuck them absolutely silly, but also comfort them emotionally.>Some muse how nice it would be if you stayed longer, and you agree, but those are just musings.>You leave the next morning every time.>It's nice, but it is a vacation, and you have obligations back home.>You have a good job with a steady income, something you busted your ass off for.>Not exactly much companionship, though.>Good paying job means living in the big city, and the only women there are blue-haired hambeasts that would cuck you, divorce rape you and castrate your children, if you even had any.>Meanwhile, back in Equestria, some of the mares you slept with are pacing in circles, feeling empty and lacking something all of a sudden.>They remember the description of, from their point of view, some kind of weird, simultaneously impressively wealthy, but at the same time, post-apocalyptic life you seem to live.>They're just loser, low-value mares that can't even get an Equestrian stallion, what could they even do to convince you, a rich exotic stallion to leave what you built up behind and come live with them?>One of them gets an idea, though.>She begins tracking down the other mares you slept with, hoping to start a herd and pool their resources, possibly improving themselves along the way, enough to convince you.>Meanwhile, you're back on Earth, and in the dull moments, you can't help but remember the sensation of a fluffy mare's body pressing against you as hard as possible as she nuzzles your neck...>Then, one day, a letter arrives from Equestria.
>>40556331This is going to lead to a gender imbalance on Earth. Human men will see the paradise that is Equestria, and the mares will suck off all the men. giggity They'll have to guard the portal on the Earth side to keep men from sneaking over and mares from sneaking in to steal more men, and the Equestria side to guard against angry human women from coming in and trying to cause harm.
>>40556331Sounds like a good green could come of this, i dont think my journey in Equestria would be sleeping with every mare that looks at me pretty tho, i do want to settle down with a mare and have kids and stuff, but after i explore a bit and have some adventures, like wild West kind of adventures to calm my bloody lust for blood and vengence
>>40555867I think the implication is that Flurry and Cozy both have a crush on Anon.Pretty sure Twilight would want to avoid that shitshow, especially as she'd be over a hundred at this point and thus hopefully a bit more socially aware.
>>40556331cute. pls continue>>40556484a love pentagon with anon, three alicorns, and cozy glow? this is how equestria collapses into the state that causes G5. or maybe these shenanigans somehow prevent the collapse instead idk
>>40556331This makes me wonder just how accepting of stallions "sleeping around" mares are, considering herding is a common thing.Would it just not be a big deal, with the mares just seeing it as the stallion gauging his potential choices?Maybe they're more accepting of it than we are, but only to a certain extent. And if so, to what extent? How many partners would a stallion have had to have before being considered a "slut"?
>>40556694It could go either way, really. Imagine a stallion is infertile, or something bad happens that kills off a lot of stallions, like a plague. With so many mares, herds might even agree to lend out stallions to others so they could conceive, which could lead to societal norms being a bit more relaxed in regards to them putting out. There's also the whole fertility thing. As has been discussed in the past, some RL horse mares only go into estrus during summer, while some are also active during winter. Maybe it's totally fine to have a roll in the hay when a mare is infertile, but risking it during when they're fertile is seen as being a slut - while it's not the stallion that's getting pregnant, he might give a mare a foal that would end up getting not cared for.Then, of course, there's the question of mares screaming at stallions to stop being sluts while they're dragging them off to fuck and dumping them immediately after.
>>40556694>>40556801To add to that post, Equestrian culture doesn't remotely have to be anything like the current western christian-derived paradigm. I remembered a bit of history regarding parenthood and stuff with the nordic people. When they went out on a viking, they were gone for many, many years, leaving their wives behind. Needless to say, said wives had needs too, which they satisfied with other men, and had children from them, too. However, when the guys returned from their vikinging and saw that the wife had an extra child or two, they were not furious or angry, they were very happy, because children were seen as a great wealth back in the day (probably related to high infant mortality rates back then), and there was no question that the child was, in fact, the guy's to whom the wife belonged.Sure, it's a bit of a very specific circumstance, but it goes to show that an alien society in another dimension might have completely different traditions regarding sex and parenthood.
>>40556694>And if so, to what extent?Here we go again, my brain won't shut up. Final thought...I'd think with how stallions would be thought to be emotional and completely lack discipline, and with SO many mares gunning for them, sleeping around wouldn't be seen as something bad, though even the faintest hint of abuse would get the herd's mares getting their spears and crossbows. The extent would probably be age, rather than "body count" - it'd be fine for a stallion to "shop around" for a herd until, say, his mid-twenties, but if he didn't settle down by roughly that point, he'd be seen as the town bike forever.
>>40556331this sounds cozy
>>40555519>Please don't talk about my wild-man days.kek
Any anatomy fags around? I'm trying to figure out how many cm away the female urethra is from the vulva. How deep it actually sits within the vagina so to speak. 5 cm? 8 cm? Anyone know? Its for a story I'm writing.
>>40558084Human female or mare? Mind you, there is only one right answer
>>40556400>Be Justice Bucks.>Corrections officer extraordinaire.>And if you're being honest, really only one of a long line of ponies in your family involved in law enforcement or the royal guard in some way.>But you, you've been granted a unique calling.>You arrive at your work station and begin preparing for the day's toil.>Uniform, check.>Wooden "gavel" horseshoes, check.>The scurry of your coworkers bringing you magical dossiers updated on the fly, check.>Situated in front of the small platform you're sitting on, is a waygate designed to interdict the main Equestria-Earth portals.>Well! First one of the day. A green rotating light starts up on your portal confirming a breach attempt, and you look over the file that automatically floats in front of you.>Looks like a Class 3 Shrieker this time.>Turning around, you give your rump a little wiggle and brace your springy legs.>The light goes yellow and the portal flares open, depositing an irate-looking human mare with half her hair shaved off and dyed a filthy mauve.>Inbound shuts down, and a return portal opens up directly behind it.>"What the fuck, you're not Anthony where am-">boot to the head>The last thing you see of the foul woman is her comical utterance of "AGAK!" as she's sent careening back where she came from.>The portal snaps shut, and you confirm the expulsion in the system.>Glancing back over the relevant dossier, a smile curls your muzzle as you look at a photo of the relevant human stallion, standing happily with his herd of three mares.>Yes, every pony has her special talent, but you're struck again by the great comfort that comes in knowing that you're involved in truly good works.
>>40556331>go to Equestria>become emotionally fulfilled, but only temporarily as you have a life back home>return to the life you built, stable financially and socially>yet only realize how empty and cold it is when you have experienced the presence of a mare>breakdown and sprint back to Equestria because you realize they were right all along>"Fuck this gay Earth"
>>40558900>>boot to the head...was... That a kids in the hall reference?
>>40559163Ah i messed up. I meant 4 on the floor.
>>40559163>>40559197unlikely that it was a specific reference. getting a boot to the head is a common phrase used in numerous things.
>>40559163Usually it's a reference to Ti Kwan Leep.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ti_Kwan_Leep
>>40559163>>40559197>>40559246>>40559288Last Will and Temperment actually, though it was a running gag they used in other skits.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfMcxmOBmpk
Would you love a mare who didn't have a "good" cutie mark? Would she be extra loving because you're with her for her and not her social status / finances?Allie Way, for a example, has a special talent for bowling. She wouldn't be my first choice for waifu, but she's still better than Rainbow Dash.
>>40560592>Her special talent is handing balls, that's just how she rolls.How is this not an excellent cutie mark for a waifu?
>>40560592yes i would give her the big leplowski
>>40560592is she into cunt busting or somethingdoes she want you to literally smash her pussy
>>40560592A mare with a modest talent would probably be more grounded and inclined to enjoy simple things in life, so definitely yes.Also, Allie is adorable in her lankiness.
>>40560751>>40560592the ponytail really works for her
I don't know if I'm going to finish the green that this particular bit was originally from. However, I liked the idea that I came up with enough to make it into a prompt.>Nurse Redheart looks at the test results and startles so hard that her widdle nurse cap falls off her widdle nurse head.>"Mr. Anonymous, you have the worst case of Sower's Disease that I've ever seen.""Okay, that's new. What's Sower's Disease?">"The fetal furor. The cheek-clapping craving. The baby rabies. Foal fever, Mr. Anonymous. You desperately need to impregnate a mare or three. Otherwise, your heart's going to collapse in on itself and turn to stone, just like King Sombra's did."
>>40560982>"Jokes on you, my heart is already stone. But let's see if you can help cure it."
>>40560982makes the whole "30 year old wizard" a bit darker if in equestria 30 years is the point sower's disease goes terminalless than a month to go, anons
>>40561127You become immortal and get dark powers, though, if Sombra is an indicator
>>40556331>>40559020The only reason I'd come back to Earth would be to invite my family to my wedding.
>>40561127>Anon lets it drop that he's about to become a 30 year old virgin>I don't know how, he's a socially awkward fuck and is a virgin for a reason>Redheart overhears it>She feels her heart skip a beat and her blood chill>"Not another one. Not again.">She can't handle losing yet another lonely stallion to the terminal temptations of wizardry>They all think they can do what dozens of stallions in the past failed to>They all think they're big strong stallions who don't need NO MARE, and that the power won't consume them from the inside-out like a bonfire>None of them ever think that they'll become the next Sombra>Or become the next Discord>Or become any of the haunting, twisted creatures that wander the Everfree>All of whom were once innocent colts who, for one reason or another, could not overcome their loneliness>Every stallion who has ever pursued Wizard Magic has been destroyed by it>Some literally; some figuratively>And Redheart truly pities those who still remain; a shadow of a shadow of their former selves>In the blink of an eye, Redheart is a foal again, sitting and Grandma Red Cross's knee>Listening to her stories about her time as a nurse>Redheart could still hear the hitch in her grandmother's breath when she confessed how close one particular case was>She could still see the haunted look in the old mare's eyes when told her granddaughter exactly what would have happened had her team not found that small group of particularly lonely (and already ass-deep in the depths of Wizardry) stallions, and gave them exactly what they needed>"You need to understand that every day of sunlight is a gift. The toasty warmth of a fireplace should be cherished. We very nearly lost it all to an eternal snowfall.">That's when Redheart heard about the Crystal Empire, and learned the tragedy of Darth Sombra the Wise.>And one of those colts was her grandfather>"I know what I have to do.">You know a few nurses who you wouldn't mind herding with
>>40561222I shit you not, I had two versions of that scene, and in one of them, Anon's reaction to the news is "Immortality and bitchin' shadow powers -- hmm..."
>>40561222I'll take it. I'll make my own dark tower and disappear it and myself for a thousand years of researching in solitude.
>>40559288That's what i was thinking of. The frantics = four on the floor.Tho i had the last will skit in mind.
>>40559605That's the one. Man didn't know we had any other truly oldfags here.
>>40562152...And one for Jenny and the wimp.
>>40561900I'd be a menace to society. I would use my dark powers to abduct mares and do unspeakable things to them.First, I'd spy on them, to find the best and most suitable targets. Only the most sexist, chauvinist, frat-girl type stereotypical mares would do. I'd steal them away in the darkness, bringing them to my lair.Then, the torture would begin. I would treat them like fragile, pretty little airheads, telling them that I can't release them, because it's dangerous for weak little mares to go outside. I would pet them, and nuzzle them, and tell them that they're cute and pretty. I would teach them how to cook food, because a mare's place is in the kitchen. I would brush and massage them, and tell them that they don't need to work hard because stallions are bigger and stronger and they bring in the haybacon.The Guard and the others would try to track me down, of course. Hell, entire dark mage hunting squads might be created just to catch me. But, unlike Sombra, I wouldn't try to face them head-on, oh no. If one of my lairs is ever discovered, I'd just turn into shadows and run away, starting over in some new place.The mares would be freed, but the mental damage would be near irreversible... Doctors would work for years to try and "fix" the mares, but it would be a monumental task. They'd desperately look for traces of dark magic, as pretty much every single villain that messes with people's minds doesn't actually know the first thing about psychology, and they just go straight for mind control. As such, psychology is in a very primitive and crude state in Equestria, and they'd have serious trouble undoing what I did. The doctors would groan helplessly as the mares used their perfectly manicured hooves to nervously play with their long, pretty, braided manes and said that they felt just fine and they liked feeling pretty.
>>40562769You dark prince. I kneel.How do I fund your rampage?
>>40562769>You looked to the ceiling in thought for a few moments"Hm. Not my cup of tea, but quite good for a filly her age.">Be Rarity>You had just finished reading some surprisingly decent stalliondom fiction, written by your own little sister no less>Her schoolbag had been tossed carelessly when she had come home and the notebook had just been lying open on the floor when you found it>You didn't INTENTIONALLY read her most likely private writing, you just happened to glance at it>Having placed the small, spiralbound notebook back into Sweetie Belle's saddlebag, you took it upstairs>You left it in front of her door and hoped she wouldn't assume you read it>You can't imagine how embarrassed she'd be if she knew>But, mares will be mares
>>40555627This reminds me of a quote I love."True love stories don't end with a wedding, they end with a funeral."
>>40562875>t. never heard of Morticia and Gomez Addams.
>>40561260>mares rape wizard stallions and this is somehow ok in RGREquestriaSure, anon.CAPTCHA: D4WMSY (the whimsy)
>>40563917>rape the incredibly rare stallions that actively pursue wizardhood>risk another sombraHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I WONDER WHAT A SOCIETY WILL CHOOSE TO DO???
>>40563995>Common issue for the justice system regarding the rape of stallions in which the mare claims she was simply doing her civic duty to prevent another Sombra>Doesn't work most of the time, but occasionally does, leading to rapist mares not being brought to justice>RGREquestria now has stallions rights groups advocating for all rape to be outlawed, regardless of the potential of Sombra 2.0's>You now have to deal with annoying stallions blocking the road on your way to workNice job Anon, have fun getting fired since you keep being late
>>40563917It doesn't necessarily say they were raped, only that they were "lonely stallions" who were given "exactly what they needed." Given Redheart is contemplating who she could form a herd with, it could've been companionship.
>Living with sexist horses can be pretty fun>Except for two or three times a year when they start to shed>The colts you have no issue with>They make it a point to look after their coat>No shedding them them at all>The mares on the other hand?>Terrible>The married ones had their horsebands to look after them, but single mares could care less>They shed, and they did so everywhere>Magic horse fur all over your clothes, and carpet, and your nice, just cleaned house>Eventually, you got sick of it>If they weren't gonna brush themselves you'd do it>Whether they wanted it or not
Happy Thanksgiving. I'm glad that our little band of misfits is a thing.
>>40565035love (You) too m8n-no homo
>>40521883Camom, you know why.
>>40562800rarity would have been one of the victims desuhow else do you explain her coltyness?
>>40564260it's a pretty blatant euphemism for "we fucked them whether they wanted it or not so that they couldn't be dark wizards like sombra"
>>40537135not him but i noticed a drop in that nickname since pic related happened, then there was the cancer honey made from misplaced waste but that may have been from m&m
>>40565167"By Celestia's milky teats...">Be Rarity>Also be disgusted and terribly uncomfortable>Once again, through no fault of your own, you've found yourself reading Sweetie Belle's private notebook>While her writing has shown some improvement, she continues to write about the incredibly taboo subject of stalliondom>And now there's been a terrible development>Her latest story features none other than you as the main victim>She even gave a whole backstory of what you were like before the fictional stallion's mindbreaking of you>Maybe you should'nt have let this one fly under the radar>It's one thing to have shameful fantasies>It's an entirely different thing to fantasize about your relatives being involved>Perhaps you ought to have a word with her>She may only be a filly, but she needs to understand that there are certain lines you don't cross>A shiver runs up your spine as you're reminded of your aunt Filly Flanks>You really hope that sort of behavior doesn't run in the family
>>40565035wtf how did you get this picture of my wife
>>40565367and then sweetie writes about rarity finding her writings and schlicking to the completely true stories contained within
>>40565035Happy Thanksgiving, faggot. I hope everyone is spending some time with their families.
Here's a funny little shitpost that I had in my head for a while.>Be Anon.>Get Isekai'd to Equestria.>An alien catches the notice of the government, of course.>Especially the glowies.>Unfortunately for you, you didn't even think these cute, adorable little ponies could even have an agency like that. >But they do.>You didn't even say or do anything bad, but they make you disappear anyway.>Apparently, with how completely desensitized to violence you are, what with a dozen wars happening at any given time on Earth, they labeled you as a psychopath.>Turns out being cooperative and sharing information about what it's like only bit you in the ass.>Fucking governments are the same across dimensions, apparently.>You try to explain things to them, that you are perfectly empathetic and that the little fluffballs are just inexperienced with how other people might operate after their country lived through a thousand years of peace.>They write it off as you being an intelligent psychopath that's clever enough to pretend to have empathy.>Fuckssake.jpg>At least your cooperation gets noted, and instead of getting brain scrambled by some hornhead, you get a job offer.>Interrogator.>Surprise surprise, the little softies can't bring themselves to actually get down and dirty with their supervillains, even when lives are on the line.>Alrighty then...-------------->Be Glow Trigger.>High ranking officer in the agency.>You're currently in one of the peripheral hidden establishments that your agency maintains.>Bit of a break from protocol, but you needed to see this for yourself.>The local agents apparently captured and employed some kind of alien colt that was completely nuts.>That screamed "potential security breach" all over, and you wanted to see that they had the situation in hoof."Alright, Night Glow, where is he now?">"He's actually interrogating a suspect right now, Ma'am.""Really? What did they do?">"A potential necromancer. We caught her digging up a grave, and she has a cutiemark with a pony's skull with a magical swirl around it. She insists that it's an archeology cutiemark, but archeologists don't exactly go around robbing graves, and we could smell the manure she was trying to feed us miles away. She's just a teenager, so we're hoping we can nip this in the bud.""And you gave her to the, apparently, absolute maniac that you recently acquired?">"Yes, Ma'am. He is, ah... Very good at what he does. Best to hit them hard immediately, and then we'll have another operative play "good cop"."Alright, as much as this sounds like overkill that could end in lots of paperwork and cover-ups, this is too good of an opportunity. I gotta see this colt in action myself. Lead me to the interrogation room.">"Yes, Ma'am.">Unfortunately, you're a little too late. >Just before you enter the observation room, you hear the blood-curdling screams.
>>40566101>"AAAAAAARGH! EEEEWWWWW! STOP THAT STOP THAT STOP THAT! PULL IT OUT, PULL IT OUT! I'LL TALK, I'LL TALK, I SWEAR, I SWEAR! PLEASE STOP, PLEASE!>You immediately jump through the door, taking in the scene.>There's Anonymous, his bipedal form looming over the mare.>His photos didn't quite convey the psychological effect his size had when he was standing next to a pony.>Unfortunately, you don't get to see what he actually did, as he already pulled his "hands" from the mare.>"Alright, but remember, if you don't start talking immediately, I'll also restart immediately.">"Okay okay okay! I'm a necromancer! I got my cutie mark when a squirrely that I tamed died, and I tried healing magic on it! I didn't mean to! I didn't know what I was doing it just happened! And, and, I had to make up a fake story about how I got it and then actually kill the poor thing a second time and...">She's sobbing by now, babbling as fast as she can, taking in deep breaths and starting up again as she tries not to stare at Anon's hands.>She's also desperately trying to dig into one of her ears with a hoof, obviously failing, given how much bigger her hooves are than her ears.>Another agent trots in, taking the seat in front her as Anon nods and slowly walks out.>The agent in the observation room is frantically writing down everything the mare is saying, giving you a glance now and then."I'm going to talk to him," You address Night Glow, nodding to the other agent as you trot out of the room.>"Of course, Ma'am.">You catch him a few moments later.>He's completely calm, wiping one of his hands off with a cloth.>Celestia damn it, psycho colts are messed up.>You're used to dealing with mares, but seeing a colt like that can make even the most experienced agent nervous.>A civilian might laugh it off, but here in the agency, you all know just what kind of havoc a colt can wreak, while pretending to be a dumb stallion all the while.>The cloth is odd, though. You didn't see any blood on the mare, and you didn't see any on him."Hold right there, mister Anonymous.">"Oh. hello there. You're a new face. Some new agent they pulled in?""Senior agent, actually. Came here to check up on the situation. Specifically, you. What the BUCK did you do to that mare?!"\>"Oh, nothing lasting, don't worry. I read the guidelines. I don't think it could even be classified as assault, really.""Bull manure! You expect me to believe that, after what I heard?! Enough dancing around, colt! Your manipulation won't work! Tell me exactly what you did, or I'll toss you in the deepest, darkest hole I can find!">He scoffs.>"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little thing I learned back home. We call it "Wet Willy".">He explains as he wiggles his fingers in front of your face.>Your guts tighten as you remember the mare desperately digging into her ear, but you force yourself to calm down."I said enough misdirection. What. Is. A. Wet. Willy?">"Want me to show you?"
>>40566128The end.This has a bit of a Kinderquestria feel, I guess, but I do think that sticking a slimy, wet finger into a mare's sensitive ear would be quite unpleasant and disgusting for them.
>>40566101>>40566128Very nice. I like the Kinderquestria aspect, I think it works well. Keep up the good work. :)
>>40566132>>40566278And he's an unknown quantity.All Miss Junior Necromancer knows is some strange creature stuck it's appendage in her orifice and her head started feeling all weird and squidgy. Could she really be sure it's not some sort of mind-eating spell?
>>40566128>At least I didn't make her say "uncle".
>>40566128kekthis is goofy
>>40566128I wonder what the punishment for necromancy is?
>>40566128>inb4 Glow Trigger is the one mare that realizes just how utterly silly and tame anon's 'techniques' are, having seen what genuine evil is capable of firsthand
>>40566128That's pretty comfy. It's probably worth posting to /kinder/ too.
>>40568250k.>>40566348Yeah, there's also the fact that ponies can't actually pick their ears like we can, so something going in there must feel pretty alien and invasive. Hell, something going in my ear that's not my finger would probably freak me out too.
>>40568294>something going in my ear that's not my finger would probably freak me out too.I hate it when my hair gets long enough to start touching the entrance to my ears. Uncomfortable and annoying.
>>40568845Skill issue, mine just curls around my ears.
>>40566101>>40566128very cute. this reminds me of a somewhat similar kinderquestria story, if i can find it.found it:https://ponepaste.org/4247
>>40568036>inb4 Anon is just wearing kiddy gloves all the time since glowzigger agency catches would-be villains early on, thus mostly sending him scared fillies more often than not.>He slowly grows into a role of a father figure for fillies undergoing rehabilitation from their [not-so] villainous ways.
Thoughts on the marely game of equestrian hoofball?
>>40569917oh man, imagine Anon, through some series of wacky hijinks, ending up in the mare's locker room while the entire hoofball team is in there, haha that'd be a real silly situation, Haha what do you guys think would happen haha?
>Anon, a young man from South Wales, ends up in Equestria and settles down.>In that moment, the supernatural senses of an ancient creature register something not seen in Equestria in ages.>"I smell the musk of a Welshman..." It says in whispered glee.>Anon sits by his crackling hearth, the faint glow casting dancing shadows around his small cottage.>He's been invited to more than a few Hearth's Warming parties, but this being his first holiday season away from family has made him quite homesick, so he's opted instead to merely remain home and sip at some cider Applejack gifted him.>Suddenly, a rhythmic knocking disrupts the tranquility.>Anon furrows his brow, setting the book aside, and stands, crossing the room to the door to see who's visiting him at such a late hour.>No doubt some pony worried about him being alone on Hearth's Warming.>He intends to tell them he's perfectly fine and not to worry, but is shocked by what he sees outside.>It's a pony, he thinks, though not like one he's ever seen before.>For the equine outside had a bare skull for a head, glowing pinpricks within their eye sockets peering up at him in a way he somehow knows is playful and mischievous.>Though the rest of her form is draped in white fabric, the fact that he can see vertebrae leading down into the garments leaves little doubt of what's underneath.>As Anon peers down at her skeletal countenance adorned in a ghostly cloak, he stifles a gasp, caught off guard by her haunting appearance.>"Mari Lywd...">Before he can utter anything more, Mari breaks into a melodious tune, her voice carrying an otherworldly cadence.>"Oh, dear sir, don't be afraid,>I bring no harm, just a serenade.>The storm outside, it rages wild,>But here inside, let's share a smile.>A drink, a feast, a merry cheer,>Within your walls, no need for fear.>For though I'm bones and draped in white,>I promise you, I mean no fright.>I'll charm you with my spectral grace,>And bring to life this quiet space.>So let me in, let's have some fun,>Together 'neath the moonlit sun.">Anon can hardly believe what he's hearing.>She even sings in a Welsh accent, something he hasn't heard in over a year.>Despite the surreal situation, he can't help but bark out a laugh, a smile splitting his face as his mind is flooded with old memories of spending the holidays with his grandparents in the old country, and celebrating in a way so differently than back in America where he and his parents lived.>Memories of the silly little tradition they'd all partake in.>And despite himself, he responds as they did back then."Your song is sweet, I cannot lie,But my dear guest, you may implyThat my abode is not for you,It's just for me, for this I rue.Your presence, though it may be light,Your form, a wonder in the night,Yet, I must say, I'm quite perplexed,By your request, I feel annexed.">At his response, the creature perks up, eyes flaring even brighter as her form starts to jitter.
>>40570342do go on
>>40570342>The sound of clip-clopping fills the air, and Anon realizes that the strange skeletal pony is dancing excitedly in place.>Mari giggles softly, the sound echoing eerily in the room.>"Oh, sweet human, don't be shy,>I won't stay long, nor ask you why.>Just a moment, a sip of cheer,>Then back into the night's frontier.">Anon hesitates, caught in the sway of her haunting melody for a few seconds before shaking off the strange effect her song seems to have on him."Your song, it's charming, I confess,But my dear guest, I must address,My humble home, it's small, you see,Not fit for spectral company.">Mari tilts her skeletal head, a playful glint in her eye sockets.>"Small or grand, it matters not,>'Tis the warmth within this humble spot.>A drink, a morsel, that's my plea,>A fleeting moment, just for me.">Anon swallows hard, feeling a mesmerizing pull toward the enigmatic visitor.>Several heartbeats pass in silence, and Anon can almost see the victorious smile on her unchanging features as she realizes he 's failed to respond and she has won.>The sting of defeat doesn't have a chance to manifest as Mari leans in, her form brushing past him in a deliberate, ghostly caress.>"Ah, my dear," Mari whispers, her breathless voice weaving through the room like an intoxicating spell.>"Within these walls, let's create our own dance, a waltz of laughter and chance.">She glides toward the hearth, her spectral frame casting ethereal shadows across the room.>With a graceful turn, she faces Anon, her eye sockets alight with an otherworldly gleam.>"Imagine, if you will, a drink shared in the flickering light, a toast to the mysteries of the night," Mari suggests, her words a gentle persuasion.>"Won't you join this wanderer on a journey, a fleeting moment, a thrilling tourney?">Anon's resistance begins to crumble under the weight of Mari's enchanting presence. "Your allure, it's hard to fight," he admits, his voice barely a whisper amidst the swirling emotions within him, "You're using some kind of magic on me, aren't you?">The invisible smile twitches wider, her presence now almost enveloping him in a captivating embrace.>"Let your worries take flight, for in this moment, there's no need for plight.">She extends a spectral hoof toward him, a silent invitation dancing in her gaze.>Anon hesitates, caught in the delicate web of her charm, until finally, he relents, his hand tentatively reaching out to clasp her bony hoof."Fine," he concedes, a blend of curiosity and anticipation lacing his words. "Show me what you've got.">With a delighted laugh that echoes through the room like a haunting melody, Mari leads Anon toward the warmth of the hearth.>As they settle by the crackling fire, the flickering flames casting playful shadows across the room, Mari's laughter intertwines with Anon's hesitant chuckle, blending in a harmony that seems to defy the boundaries between the living and the spectral.
>>40570380Anon you fool, don't trust ghosts!
>>40570667But it's a cute pony ghost. That's alright... right?
>>40570667>>40570674Ghosts are almoste always murderous assholes, no matter the culture, but if I remember anything about the Mari Lywd, you can ply it with games, drink and sweets then send it away.
>>40571517>No hooves>Not RGRE enoughend thyself
>>40570766The real question is, can you fuck it?I do have an idea for a sex scene between her and Anon that would be pretty unique anatomy wise. Writing in rhymes is annoying though, so I'm not sure how much I want to continue. Especially as the thread seems kind of dead.
>>40571517>A perverted woman out to steal your precious virginityBut I'm saving myself for marriage.
>>40572498She'll take that too, Anon
>>40572475>LywdI don't think you'll have a choice in the matter.
>>40572507>The first time Anon has sex with Sunset, he has a ring on his finger>Sunset wouldn't dare bed him before they were married, after all>She wanted to keep Anon's reputation intact
>>40572540Translates as "grey".
>>40572424>ywn date a teenage Glimglam who initially sees you as a sexy way to rebel against her father but then falls deeply in love with you
>>40572723sure. but her name looks like Mary Lewd, and no amount of linguistics or etymology can save her from that
>>40572475I think you should write it and put on ponepaste.org, it woul beca fun little story.
>>40572475>the thread seems kind of dead.How do you think you revive a thread, anon?
>>40572475you're already writing about a skeletal horse. you might as well engage in more advanced thread-based necromancy
>>40572894>wanting to fall in love with the mary suekek no
>>40573714being powerful doesn't make you a Mary Sue, a Mary Sue is someone who has no character flaws or who only has character flaws that are framed as a positive thingand glimmy has some pretty serious character flaws lmao
>>40573285>eyetwitch.jpgOn another note - goddamn, I've been having vivid sexual dreams lately, and none of them are about my waifu. What the fuck, brain?
Alright, the thread's been up for something like 8 years. What aspects of RGRE have we not discussed yet? There have to be some veins of gold we haven't mined out yet. I don't know, does your house smell weird on the weekends because mares are lazy and stereotypically don't put much stock into hygiene when they don't need to? Do you struggle to teach your mares how to giftshop because all they do is forget the holiday is coming and/or dismiss the importance of trying to come up with a gift (homemade or otherwise) early, and then panic and grab something from the horseDollar Store at the last minute? Is your backyard perpetually a disaster because each mare in your herd has an outdoor project related to working with wood that they've been working on for the last 3 years but haven't actually made any progress? Are they really into mom jokes (which are just RGRE dad jokes)? Do you leave for a weekend and come back to discover that your mares nearly burned the house down because they thought "well why can't we just shove all of our ideas for dinner into the horseStove and set it for 600* Horsecelsius for 5 minutes"? Do they just roll around in the dirt to get clean because I don't fucking know I saw a cow do that I guess? Are you all "babe let's go home, I'm horny and want to fuck" but your mare is like "one sec hon, I'm debating with the fillies which branch of an obscure interest we share is the best"WHAT DO MARES DO
>>40574052>Anon is into models and miniatures>LAP COME BACK>Is real shit at painting them, and his mare friend nearly shakes herself apart trying not to tell him to thin his paints>"He's just a colt, he's just doing this because he's interested, I don't need to unleash my inner-autist and make him realize how big of a pathetic nerd I am"Lads I'm trying
>>40570380I like this is fascinating and cute, have a (you) Anon, you deserve it.
>>40573962are they about ponies, at least? if so, maybe it's the other members of your future herdif it's not ponies then idk what to tell you, you're a degenerate or something probably
>>40574052>Are they really into mom jokes (which are just RGRE dad jokes)?"Your dad's dick is so small that you were almost born with a cutie mark for long distance swimming."
>whats the best way to mess with your marefreinds, friends when they are teasing your marefreind.>i just pick up my perfect twilight, and tell her and friends that her prince requires some loving, I then make sure she screams loud enough, that everyone can hear her.>now they don't call her a virgin anymore, though they tease her about other things.
Anon sells dilldos and other sex toys. Ponies think he is a sex demon. Eventually becomes the embodiment of lust. Unlike other demons he just likes helping ponies.
>>40574052>Your mare does a home improvement project and maims the fuck out of herself with a tool in the process. >Loses the gigs she had lined up for the next two or three months because she's an earth pony and can't play the cello with only one functioning forehoof.>Absolutely terrified that you're going to leave her.>You're absolutely baffled. She's your mare. Why would you leave her just because shit went south?
>>40570380>Soon, what was meant to be just a cider and a bowl of mixed nuts became several bottles from the pack of twelve.>Anon was expecting the surreal meeting to go a few minutes, figuring he'd been inured to the strange and magical after being sucked into a world of pastel ponies.>Mari Lywd wasn't just another strange aspect of a strange world, thought, at least not entirely.>She's part of his old home.>A story come to life, and a riveting one at that.>He had asked of course how she could be here, and she sadly explained how, during the rein of Discord, his chaos had weakened the veil between worlds, which led to her finding a path to Earth and meeting the people who lived beside the seas.>With Discord sealed away and his influence lessened, those rifts in the veil healed, and her path to Wales closed.>"I'm sorry I didn't bring any Merrymares with me," she explains in a far more informal tone, her voice a little less purposely melodic as she takes a swig from her forth bottle of cider. "I didn't expect a Welshman to be here in Equestria, you see?">Anon watches as she takes another glug, eyes drifting for the hundredth time to the white robes billowed across the floor, looking for a wet spot."Ah, it's fine," he says, looking back to her face, only to see the skull turned towards him, the nonexistent smirk somehow perceptible.>"Wondering where it all goes?" she teases. "Want a peek?">Anon blushes and looks back towards the crackling fire.>As their conversation grew more casual, her strange sway over his thoughts lessened, but this is still a supernatural, presumably undead entity he's sitting with.>He's seen enough horror movies to know that peeking under such a creature's coverings would probably not be good for his sanity."That's alright," he says, trying to inflect a joking town. "I'm just glad there isn't a mess on my floor.">"Don't be shy, Anon, I don't mind if you see," she says, standing gracefully. "As a matter of fact, the fire and cider are doing a bit too well at warming these old bones. I'm feeling rather hot.">Anon watches as the Mari's robes grow translucence and simply fall from her frame to the floor, where she kicks them back behind her.>Her body is... not that scary.>A pristine ivory-white skeleton, with dozens of multicolored, silk ribbons both seeming to hold it together and decorating it.>The joints are wrapped in colorful fabric while from the spinal cord, hanging down into her ribcage and where her abdomen would be are streaks of color.>On closer inspection, Anon is sure he can see detailed, complex embroidery on all of them, resembling some spell circles he'd seen in a book he borrowed from Twilight, but failed to make heads or tails of.>"It's always nice to be on the receiving end of the ogling." Mari says as she stretches her limbs, as if showing off. "Makes a mare feel less guilty for doing the same.">Anon averts his eyes and forces a chuckle."You saying you've been ogling me?">"Of course."
>>40574433Fuck the walking corpse woo!Captcha:4aSOSDon't bother calling for help, anon, you're screwed.
>>40573788A Mary Sue is a character that has the story bend around them, defying the logic and canon of the established world.>S5>Evil, powerful, and explicitly a villain>show logic: evil people are evil>not a Mary Sue>S6>Evil, powerful, and explicitly a "hero">show logic: evil people are evil>at this point, she's a Mary Sue
>Be Anon>Today was a special day in Ponyville>They had a tradition of single stallions being "bid" on by the towns' mares >Any money that came in went to those less fortunate, and the winning mare would, at most, take the colt to a date, or maybe have him clean their house>It was all in good fun, and no one really had an issue with it>You, being a single "stallion" were asked by the group of colts that kept the tradition alive and oversaw everything>You really didn't have any desire to clean a horses house, but they did ask nicely>So, you got a haircut, a shave, and put on your best Hawaiian shirt and joined the other stallions that morning>Hours had passed>The most prized and desirable colts had been "bought" first>Then went the less desirable colts>Then the mommy-issue stallions>Then the weirdos like Fluttershy's brother>Eventually, all of them were led away by mares with various levels of enthusiasm>All except you>You had sat on your little podium all day, just waiting, and not one horse had come along to try to buy you>Not one>This morning, you hadn't given a shit about this whole thing, and now you found yourself getting an unexpected blow to the ol' self-esteem >Mares weren't even looking your goddamn way, for crying out loud>Some of the colts running things had been glancing your way since around lunch time>You ignored them, feeling pretty peeved>Fucking dumb talking horses...>"Is he--oh thank Celestia. ANONYMOUS!">You jumped, turning to see Rarity>The mare was sweaty and red-faced, like she had been running>Which was weird>Rarity was many things, but a runner wasn't among them>The unicorn, as if realizing the state she was in, used her magic to clean up her mane and coat as best as she could, coughing into a hoof>"Anonymous, you haven't been bought yet, have you?" she asked, looking around. "Nope," you said, with just a hint of bitterness. "Still on the market.">You watched as visible relief crossed over the mare's face>"Oh, thank goodness. The mares must have had the same thought as I that you would be a high bid indeed.">She reached into her saddle bag, and with some difficulty pulled out a big sack>"My apologizes, darling. I would have been here much sooner, but it took some time to get the proper funds.""Proper funds? Rare, what are you--" >The unicorn dropped the sack in front of you, and with a start you realized that it was filled with bits>"Two thousand bits," the mare said proudly. "It's nowhere near what you're worth, but unfortunately it was all I was able to acquire with the time I had.">Two thousand bits?!>Your house cost three hundred!"Rarity, you really don't need anywhere near that much," you said. "You could probably get me for five bits.">The mare scoffed>"Nonsense! Anonymous, dear, you a stallion unlike any I've ever known. Intelligent, dashing, a rouge yes but kind and very good with foals. To even say you're worth a measly FIVE BITS is a disgrace and--"
>>40574827>She didn't have the chance to finish her sentence, as you reached down and picked her up into a hug>Rarity shattered the record bid that day>The two of you went on a nice little date, where the mare talked for three hours about stitching techniques >You had a pretty good time
If people are struggeling for inspiration, then maybe we do a brainstorm or somthing, put our heads together and just bounce some ideas?
>>40574912Trying to force discussion rarely works. All the worthwhile ideas have been spontaneous.
>>40574227>"Your dad's dick is so small that you were almost born with a cutie mark for long distance swimming."Fucking kek
>>40574052>each mare in your herd has an outdoor project related to working with wood that they've been working on for the last 3 years but haven't actually made any progressI like this one.
>>40574912Nigga, I got too much inspiration. I got a couple RGRE greens on a low simmer but since RGRE is my favorite kind of fic to write, I like to actually make sure they're good instead of just shitting out whatever pops into my head
>>40574827>>40574834Very lovely green :)
>>40575215>shitting out whatever pops into my headBut anon, that's the most fun way to write.Agonizing about small details and long plot lines is so damned annoying. It's why I wrote mostly oneshots for RGRE instead of a long one.
>>40575221You're right, but I want to work on my ability to write longform content. I only have one decently long fic, and its RGRE, so I figure there must be something to that combination that works for me. The above green does give me an idea, however...
>>40574433The blunt statement catches Anon off guard as he stutters, "E-excuse me?">She chuckles in response.>"Oh, don't be a holy joe. We're both mature adults here, yes? A strapping young man such as yourself surely isn't unfamiliar with the attention.">She sits back down, a bit closer this time, picking up her cider and throwing back the last of it.>Anon is momentarily distracted by watching the liquid suddenly appear as if in zero-gravity, flowing down into her rib cage as the markings on the ribbons shimmer.>The globules of fizzy cider slowly shrink into nothingness before his eyes and he hears another giggle.>"Don't worry, not everything that goes in there vanishes," she says, placing the bottle with the rest. "It's perfectly safe.""For what?" Anon blurts, getting another giggle like wind chimes.>"Come now, Anon, don't tell me you aren't a little curious on what it would be like.">Blushing, he takes a drink of his own cider and sets it aside."It's... getting late, isn't it? Don't you have other homes to visit?">She sighs.>"I would, but ponies simply aren't as welcoming as you humans tend to be. They don't share your kind's innate curiosity, that burning desire to understand how and why. Ponies see me and scream in terror, where humans would see me and want to learn more.">She runs a forehoof down her ribs, then twirls it through her ribbons, looking wistful.>"Not to mention you men in particular. By far more... curious than your average stallion. Such amazing males to see a skeleton and ask themselves, 'What would that feel like?'. Truly the women of Earth are a blessed lot.""Are you seriously saying you had sex with with guys before?">"Mhm, and I assure you, everyone enjoyed themselves.""How?">She side eyes him, lights in her sockets sparkling.>"Would you like to find out?""I-" he starts, but she's already up and moving to stand in front of him.>She places a hoof on his chest and starts to lightly push.>"Relax, good sir, and rest your laurels. There's no need to question morals." she sings, eyes turning from white to pink. "You'll know no harm, I promise this, as soon you'll come to feel true bliss.">Instantly Anon feels his trepidation begin to fade away."I... I guess... maybe...">She giggles as he lets her hoof push his back onto the throw rug, her skeletal figure cast in silhouette by the fire as she steps over him.>"You really are beautiful, you know?" she tells him as the ribbon tied to the end of her tail begins to move, grasping the zipper of his pants to undo them. "Has no mare told you that, yet?">He blinks groggily up at her."No.">She makes a sound as if clicking her tongue.>"It's as a I say, ponies are simply too prudent. I could smell you'd yet to be claimed; mortal mares don't know what they're missing.">A shiver runs up the man's back as the tail-ribbon reaches into his pants and wraps around his member, the soft flesh hardening as Mari guides it through the openings of both his lower garments.
>>40574827>>Eventually, all of them were led away by mares with various levels of enthusiasm>>All except you>>You had sat on your little podium all day, just waiting, and not one horse had come along to try to buy you>>Not one>>This morning, you hadn't given a shit about this whole thing, and now you found yourself getting an unexpected blow to the ol' self-esteem >>Mares weren't even looking your goddamn way, for crying out loudMy self-esteem is so low that this is already making me feel bad about myself, and I'm not even the one being overlooked by mares.
>>40575472>I'm not even the one being overlooked by mares.Not yet you arent
>>40575352>"I'm terribly sorry if this seems too forward," Mari says, leaning down to nuzzle his cheek with her cold, bony snout. "But you must understand, it's been such a terribly long time. Don't worry, though, I'll make sure you look back on this night with nothing but fondness, and next year's with anticipation."She lifts her head and lowers her hindquarters, Anon tucking his chin to watch curiously.>She'd stopped singing after getting him on his back, and his head is clearing enough to feel curious once more.>Her tailbone whips eagerly as she lowers her pelvis over his member, and sure enough, he feels nothing as his cock enters the cavernous space between the bones.>That is, until the ribbons hanging from her spinal column and ribs come alive and wrap his cock from base to tip in their silky embrace.>He gasps as they give a squeeze, and that breath catches in his throat as the embroidered symbols begin to glow, instantly warming up.>"Mmm... It's been so long since I've had a man in my grasp," breathes Mari, throwing her head back as she gyrates her hips.>Despite the bone digging into his thighs, he can't deny that this feels pretty good.>Then amazing as she looks back down at him, mischief in her eye-lights as she lifts her pelvis, causing the ribbons to slide along his member.>She lowers herself slowly, and Anon groan.>"Like it?" she asks, and Anon finds himself nodding.>She radiates eager joy at the answer and says, "Then prepare yourself, as it will only get better.">At her words, the ribbons begin to spark with magic, translating into pleasurable tingles dancing across his length.>He instinctively grabs her hips, the cool bone contrasting with the almost hot sensation of the silken embrace she has him in, and guides her up as she lifts herself once more.>Up and down she goes, small moans of pleasure emanating from behind her skeleton smile as she slowly picks up speed.>As time goes on, Anon's cock begins to drool pre-cum, which is gathered and distributed through the silk ribbons, making the smooth sensation of them dragging across his length even smoother.>Mari constantly changes the feel of their lovemaking, not just by changing the speed of her hips, by by alternating the sparks from her ribbons and even causing some of them to twist, forming thicker cords that crisscross over his dick, creating a disparity in pressure that makes it feel so much better.>She's panting, a distant part of him notes, wondering just how a skeleton can be out of breath, and when he suddenly thrusts up into her, she gasps.>"Oooh yesss. That's what I like. I love when a man is honest with his desire. Tell me, Anon, are you loving this?">He grunts in frustration as she stops riding him to lay her front half down, lowering her face closer to his.>He responds with action, thrusting as much as he can into her, but the ribbons are suddenly working against him, loosening and robbing him of pleasure just as he had started to twitch.
>>40574834>>40574827Good stuff, LaP. Glad you're still with us.On an unrelated note, would you guys cuck Spike to plow Rara's fantastic ass, or would you let the little guy try to win her heart and only court her if he failed?
>>40575472if gives you any comfort, mares irl love human man so much that writers have to nerf anon in most stories so it doesn't feel like mary sue
>>40575533FULLY ERECTVERY HARD
>>40575533>necro mare pussy
>>40575533>"Use your words, Anon," she says teasingly, and Anon growls as he answers."Yes.">"yes what?""Yes, I'm loving this.">"And you so desperately want to spill your seed within me, don't you?""I do. I really fucking want to.">"A gift, freely given and freely received," she says quietly. "Say it, Anon.">Confused, but feeling his climax slip further and further away, he nods."Yeah, sure, it's a gift. Fuck, just keep going.">Her eyes glow pink as she leans up to his ear and sings in a whisper.>"Let go, my sweet, embrace pleasure's thrum, and into my care, release all that cum.">Just as the last word is spoken, the ribbons tighten and dance with magic more than ever before and Anon feels the previously receding climax surge to the fore, causing the man to groan and pull the skeletal mare so hard against him that her bones would end up leaving bruises on his skin.>He hardly cared though, as the ribbons slip away from his cockhead just in time for the first rope of cum to fly free.>Instead of splattering on her ribs and his chest, however, it swirls into a ball just as the next heavy spurt collides into the newly formed, pearly white sphere, adding to its size.>Five throbs later, and Anon goes slack, his grip on those bone hips slipping to let his hands fall to the floor at his sides.>Mari shudders atop him, nuzzling his cheek again as she purrs.>"That's a good boy, give it all to me.""Jesus, that was..." Anon, and starts, but trails off.>"Wonderful, fantastic, the best sex you've ever had?""Let's go with all of the above, plus really weird," Anon answers, getting her to laugh.>"I'll take it." she snuggles into his chest. "Oh how I missed this. A belly full of cheer and the warmth of a partner on a cold winter's night.">Humming tiredly, Anon peers around her shoulder to stare at the large globule of his seed floating behind the mare's ribs.>Just as the cider did before, the sphere slowly shrinks until it's completely vanished."Huh..." is all he manages before he feels his eyes grow heavy and his thoughts slow.>He falls asleep with Mari Lwyd on his chest the sound of fire crackling in the fireplace, and wakes to sunlight striking his closed eyes in a silent house.>Groggily, he sits up and stretches, looking around the empty room, no skelepony in sight.>He's just about to chalk the whole thing up to a strange dream when he notices the white sheet he had been using a blanket.>No, a white robe.And that's that for now.Honestly, I was contemplating having a final scene where it's revealed that the Mari we saw in the story was actually just an avatar body and the real Mari is a unicorn mare preserved in crystal, channeling her conscious through a bone golem.>the cider and food went towards nourishing her, and the cum... Well, every mare wants a foal, right? Luckily Anon offered his seed as a gift freely given.
>>40575517>"Not with that attitude, son."
>>40574827>>40574834That was very cute.
>>40575822Marked forever by mare ecotoplasma.
>>40575547>On an unrelated note, would you guys cuck Spike to plow Rara's fantastic ass, or would you let the little guy try to win her heart and only court her if he failed?Spike is a homie and a real nigga, I can't do that to spike.Rarity will be the autistic gorgeous lady I'm friends with and nothing more, there are plenty mares in ponyville. And once I'm married and happy, I'll go visit rares and see her tend to her family she has with spike (father edition).
New thread! >>40576795
>>40531937How about you take your /ptfg/faggotry back to /ptfg/?