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Previous thread:>>39613844

Welcome to the Thread! Kinderquestria/Anon in pone prison focuses on the world and adventures of naive child like ponies and the misadventures and shenanigans of Anon that results in him going to prison! To get a good handle on how things are done around here I implore you to check out our new and improved one stop shop of kinder greens and prompts here >> https://ponepaste.org/7630
I would love a smooch twilight.
No thanks
>He doesn't want to smooch the purp
"Yes, but only if you brush your teeth. It smells like peanut butter and I can't be smooching that."
>Twilight freezes, her cute little horse noggin processing what you had said.
>She does a smell check, huffing into a hoof and sniffing.
>"I don't understand, it smells tasty to me. Do you just not like peanut butter?"
"No Twiggles, I enjoy it as much as any other guy. But smooches are special, and I can't just smooch a mare who won't be considerate of who she is smooching. Hygiene is important."
>"I bathe every day! I have the rubber duckies and bubbles and everything!" she shouts with a blush. "I won't have my hygiene questioned by a hoo-man who sticks his paws in his ears!"
"Hey! My ears get itchy! And now that you've insulted me, I won't smooch you even if you DID brush your teeth!"
>She gasps dramatically. The ponies meandering about paused, watching in awe at the potential colt/fillyfriend fail to make their mark. A mare weeps.
>"Fine! I'll just, um, smooch someone else!"
"Like who?! I'm the only guy you talk to who isn't a cute little lizard!"
>"I'll start interviewing stallions! A questionnaire of who wants to be my coltfriend! And they'll get all the smooches they'll ever want, mister!"
"Good! Do it! I don't even care!"
>Time passes. The day of the great twi-chelorette has arrived.
>A line about a block long emerges from the treehouse, stallions of all shapes and sizes queued.
>Some have bowties, others hard created crayon drawings. Anything to prove their merit.
>In the line is also a tall biped, wearing an unassuming mustache/glasses combo.
>You asked Pinkie for a disguise, and it's working like a charm, ponies asking your name several times since your strategy began.
>You are gonna earn back your waifus affection, even if it means you have to brush her teeth yourself.
>Collective gasps simultaneously ring out in ponyville square.
>Twilight giggles.
>”You’re such a joker, Anon!”
>You scratch your head confused. Did you tell a joke? Thought you were being pretty serious.
>Twilight puckers her lips, and closes her eyes.
“No thanks.”
>She opens one eye.
>”It was funny the first time anon, but now it’s getting serious.”
>She says through smooching lips.
“Look! I don’t want to smooch you! I haven’t even taken you out on a date or h**d your hoof!”
>The word h**d was bleeped audibly, by whomever.
>All the flower ponies faint.
>Twilight gasps holding a hoof to her mouth.
“Furthermore, I heard you have cooties from kissing Dragons!”
>More gasps, as Twilight looks around nervously.
>”Don’t be silly…e-everypony knows I’ve had my shot. All exes and dots…”
“Nice try. It’s CIRCLES and dots.”
>You can hear the whispers of the townsponies about Twilight possibly having the “cooties” STD(smooching tiny dragons).
>She starts to sweat.
>”G-guards! GUARDS!”
>On her cries, royal guardspony arrive from seemingly out of thin air. She must have a royal detail shadowing her.
>The salute at the ready.
>”ARREST HIM! ARREST ANONYMOUS! 6 months in Canterlot corrections!!”
>Before you can argue the “point” you’re staring at the business end of several spears.
>You put your hands up submissively.
“What the hell?! What am I being arrested for?!”
>Twilight shakes her head in disappointment.
>”Disorderly conduct, public slander of a government official, resisting affection, gross negligence of smoochies, and operating a concealed weapon without a permit.”
“Weapon?! What weapon?!”
>She eyes your crotch.
“Oh. That’s nasty.”
>”Take him away! His trial will be held at a later date!”
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work boop
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No... Someone has to save her!
wow this purple is a real piece of work
I can't believe Anon just casually talks about hoof ****ing in public like that
Anon! That’s too lewd to say in public! How would you like it if someone talked about h**ding your h**f in front of everyone?
>Minutes later, you’re fitted for your orange jumpsuit, and shoved into a cell. It clicks loudly behind you.
>What a whirlwind.
>You kick a surprisingly nice sink.
>”Hey! Keep it down, fresh meat!”
>On the bunk bed on top is your apparent cell mate.
>It’s a unicorn with long blue hair, and giant glasses. She’s absolutely beautiful in fact.
>She’s leaning over the top bed railing, glaring at you.
>”It’s nap time, fresh meat! If I don’t get my sleepy-weepys, I get so cranky you won’t believe!”
>You can’t believe what she just said. Actually…
>Upon closer inspection of your surroundings, this cell is actually furnished like a legitimate bedroom. There’s a desk with books, a toilet, and sink of high-quality, and even a mini fridge!
>You open it.
“…It’s filled with juice boxes.”
>”Hooves off!”
>What is this bull? Is this jail or are you grounded?
>A guardspony whacks her baton against the cell bars.
>Keep it down in there, you two! It’s nappytime!”
>Your Cellmate visibly shrinks.
>” ᴳʳʳʳᵎ ᴸᵒᵒᵏ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᶦᵈᵎ ᴵ’ᵐ ˢᵒ ʷᵉᵗ ᵂᶦˡˡʸ-ᶦnᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ!”
“Uhhhh…’m in for it now?”
>Is this the twilight zone?
>Confused, and exhausted you just lay on the bottom bunk-
“Ninja speaking Spanish, is this a memory foam mattress?”
>It’s so comfortable! Better than that bumpy mess you have at home…
>Maybe you’ll just…rest your eyes a bit…
>You’re not sure when you dozed off on this cloud-like bed, but you woke up to a softly ringing bell, only to discover somebody tucked you in-
>You touch your moist forehead.
“Did someone kiss me?”
>Your cellmate jumps down onto the carpeted ground.
>”Rise n shine, fresh meat!”
“Wh-what’s happening?”
>She smirks.
>”You scared? It’s “din-din” hours!”
>Your eyes widen in fear.
>Is “Din-Din hours” inmate slang for some terrifying supper time? Are you gonna get bullied for your tray??
>You’re not built for prison! You’re too soft, and beautiful!
>”You shouldn’t worry though, fresh meat. Keep to yourself, and nopony will bother you.”
>She extends a hoof.
>”I’m Logical Leap. Seems like we got off to a rocky start.”
>You take her hoof, and shake it-
“Your hoof is really soft for an inmate.”
>She looks offended.
>”Are you making fun of me?!”
“No! Not at all!”
>She gets in your face, smelling like hot buttered popcorn.
>”I’ll have you know, I’m in here for 1st degree cuddles, and grand-theft smooches!”
>You were holding your hands up to descalate things, until she said that.
“Whoa Jamal. Don’t pull out the 9.”
“Nothing. I’m sorry. Can we get going?”
>She stares into your eyes.

Oh boy. Jail is no joke, huh guys?
jail is srs bzniss
You can't stop me! I want to **** a pony's **** in public and I'm not ashamed to say it!
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holy cute
MOAR please
>”I suppose I can let you off easy this time, but for that just know this. YOU’RE MY PRISON PAL.”
“Like a prison bitch?”
>”They don’t allow diamond dogs here last I saw.”
>You facepalm.
“Fine. I’m your prison “pal”.”
>”Hey! Get a move on you two!” >The guardspony from before bangs her baton against the bars again of your bow opened cell door.
>Logical grins at you, as she saunters out of the pretty spacious shares cell.
>”Let’s go prison pal. Or else they’ll run out of banana milk!”
“Seriously, is this a prison?”
>”No lollygagging inmate, or it’s the dunce cap for you!”
>The dunce cap?! Is that some type of torture device made to crumble prisoners in painful suffering submission-
>On your way to the cafeteria, you spot a pony with a long pointy hat with the word “dunce” written on it. The E is backwards. They’re sitting on a stool facing the stool.
>Words escape you.
>You’re led in a straight line behind logical leap to-
>You’re nearly blinded by the various primary colors of the cafeteria.
“…The set of Icarly apparently.”
>You get a tray, while in line, as lunchponies drop scoops of inedible slop onto-
>You look down.
“I stand corrected. This is apparently gourmet dining.”
>Seriously, these hardened criminals-
>These criminals-
>You tap your chin in thought.
>The annoyances to the immediate public eat better than you do!
>Now for the next part. Finding somewhere to sit.
>”Fresh Meat! Over here!”
>Logical waves you down from a table with other drop-dead cuties.
>Despite the looks you get, you unabashedly stroll on over, plopping down next to LL. The impact makes them jump from their seats.
>”You work fast, Leapers!”
>A black mare with pink hair and freckles says leaning forward on her hooves.
>”I’m SUPER jelly! My prison pal is already out…”
>A brown mare chunky mare with a big hind says.
>Leap hugs your arm.
>”I’m not sharing if that’s what you’re gonna ask!”
“It’s nice to meet you Ms-?”
>”I’m Dib.”
>Freckles says.
>”I’m Ruby!”
>Your eyes keep going to her jiggly buns.
“I’m Anon. I’m apparently her prison pal.”
>The girls giggle.
>”You got him trained good, and on his first day!”
>Ruby says with a hint of jealousy.
>Leap puffs her chest out proudly.
>”So what’re you in for, Anon?”
>”Ooh. I’m so curious!”
“Uhm…you two first.”
>Dib smirks.
>”Late fees at the library, and burping in public.”
>”I didn’t eat my vegetables.”
“Haha. That’s funny! Seriously though, what are you in for?”
>They exchange puzzled looks.
>”That’s it.”
>You’re going insane.
Twilight is cute Anon should apologize and kiss her.
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i liek ponies :D
>Anon goes for a jog every morning, circling ponyville at a casual pace.
>Over time all the ponies have joined him on his jog.
>Turns out they're running away from whatever it is Anon is running away from.
Same I also like ponies, if that is what you meant.
holy shit I just had PTSD flash backs to that thread
>”Your turn. Spill the beans!”
>Leap says tapping’s your arm.
“Well…it’s not as “hardcore” as you three, but I just refused smooches from princess twilight, and then talked about hoof h**ding, on a da**. Wait, is da** bleeped too?”
>The cafeteria goes eerily silent. Everyone is staring at you with either looks of disgust, or absolute arousal.
>Logical Leap is biting her bottom lip.
>She hugs your arm tightly.
>Somepony screaming at you from behind so suddenly, makes you jump in surprise.
>”Keep that potty talk for your cell! This is a place for food to go in! Not for doody speak to come out!”
>You just can’t win, can you?
>She pokes you with the baton she’s been whacking against your cell.
>You just nod, with a sigh.
>”Y-you’re kind of a rebel, huh~?”
>A new pony has approached your table. She looks a little haggard, like she’s been up all night. Her shy demeanor is causing her to shake just looking at you. Reminds you of another scaredy-cat.
>Logic suddenly jumps into your lap, hugging you to her cheek.
>”Go away, Floorb! He’s MY prison pal!”
>The trembling mare lowers her head.
>She slowly retreats, but not before glancing back at you.
“Cell block Gingerbread-“
>”That’s us! Come on fresh meat! If we hurry we can get the glitter!”
>Leap tugs on your collar.
>You’re starting to think this isn’t a prison at all.
>You were led in single file to the crafts room followed by Dib, and Ruby. Leap seems really enthusiastic since hearing about your heinous crimes. You can guess why.
>Just before entering crafts, everyone’s attention is called to a chubby guardsmare pressed up against a wall.
>She’s being accosted by a bug. Looks like a pill bug actually.
>No. you didn’t read that wrong.
>Other guardsmares in swat gear try to approach it, but get scared, jumping on top of stools, and screech in terror.
>More eeks ring out. Even your group, excluding you has devolved into eeks and frantic tiptoes.
>The guardsmare against the wall starts to cry.
>”P-please…save meeee…”
>She faints.
>The look you make can’t be explained in words.
I like where this is going
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This just keeps getting better and better
that's a very cute twi
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This is some good shit Anon. It's cool to see Dib in it as well.
>It’s good to see Dib in jail
That's what she gets for bullying Anon.
M-maybe if Anon saves the poor guardsmare, he can get some good boy points to get out early!
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My man you have a really good green going on here
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look at howdy horse go!
ye np. I'm surprised it's still up being honest.
please keep this going! holy shoot!
But he has to touch a bug!
probably because of all the stories about her bullying naive anon I did
I hope they figure out what he's running from. It can't be good if even he's scared of it.
Not necessarily
[rolling up newspaper]
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C'mon, anon! We demand moar!
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>Be Purplesmart
>Enjoying some good buk on your balcony observation deck thingy in your treehouse
>In the corner of your eye, something catches your attention for the third time in a row
>Anon has been running around the perimeter of the town
Each lap he does a few more townsponies can be seen trailing behind
>That's kinda strange, since grown-up ponies don't usually run around that much, unless they're either in a hurry to get somewhere, which can't be the case since he's just doing circles, or...
>Oh no!
>He's not running to somewhere, he must be running away from something!
>And here you were just completely ignoring it all while Anon and the townsponies are in immediate danger!
>You need to send a letter to the Princess!
>Wait, no, the Elements first! You need to gather the Elements and face whatever evil has the town in a riot!
>Every second of indecisiveness is another second closer to somepony getting hurt!
>poners are absolutely flummoxed by anon exercising
love it
>Murdering while in jail
Jesus Christ anon, where the hecking freak do you think you are? This isn’t the WWE. It’s prison!
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>While the others scream, and have panic attacks over the little guy, you let out your biggest exasperated sigh yet, and walk over to the tiny buggo.
>One thing you can appreciate about the insects of this world is they don’t look like your typical insect. It has two big jewel-looking eyes suited for a cartoon.
>You kneel down, offering your hand for it to crawl onto.
>Once it’s in the palm of your hand, you quite literally stroll over to a door marked “Exit” and let it out, then walking back to your place in line.
>All the guards, and prisoners look on with rosy cheeks, and gazes of bewilderment. It’s like an anime.
>The silence and creepy staring is making the atmosphere thick with awkwardness.
“C-can we go please?”
>Its the guard who poked you, and has been screaming at you since you entered this “prison”.
>She glares up at you before standing up on her hind legs to put a smiley face sticker on your jumpsuit pocket.
>”That’s great anon! You got a happy face sticker!”
>Logical is hugging your arm again.
“Okay…what does that mean?”
>”It means you’re a good boy!”
>That guardspony who fainted is still unconscious, and no one has tried to wake her up, by the way.
“…And? Is that all?”
>You’d get angry if you weren’t aware of what kind of place this is.
>You pinch the bridge of your nose, and sigh again.
“Let’s just go to crafts…please.”
>”I’m gonna make you an HECKING awesome picture, prison pal!”
>”Language, inmate Leap!”
>How did you get here again? Right. You didn’t wanna smooch Purple Steve urklel, and she used her status as a tyrant to have you imprisoned.
>’Prison’ air quotes.
>You were expecting harsh, dirty, a***ole-pounding jail, but instead so far, it’s been a PBS parody of prison.
>You’re even subconsciously bleeping your curse words now!
>You just sit there as Logical Leap, Dib, and Ruby sit coloring, and putting glue and glitter on paper.
>” ˢᵒʳʳʸ…”
>And getting jacked up on glue sticks.
>It’s just like being back in preschool. In kindergarten class, but really-is that so bad?
>Good food, fun things to do, and beautiful mares who want to get the prison pal baguette.
>How do you know this?
>Leap is coloring a picture of you doing her, and every so often she wiggles her eyebrows at you.
>In fact, your life here
Might be better than it was on the outside!
>Working for a handful of bits, accosted by a yellow pony every morning about your sexual preferences and purple autistic horse princesses who either try to turn you into a filly, or force you to smooch them under penalty of law.
(Please be advised actual prison is harsh, dirty, and filled with asshole-pounding.)
>You actually might like it here.
Now dear anons we’re at a crossroads. We can either continue to witness anons antics at pine prison or fast forward to his trial 6 months later, now that he’s become a hardened inmate, used to the taxing life on the inside
More antics please
Fast forward it. They’re just gonna say more antics because then they won’t have to bump the thread and blame you if it dies
Another antic or two before the trial!
So do the good boy stickers do anything or...?
Thirding on the antics, please
It means you’re a good boy!
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>Floor Bored in PonePrison
I approve.
I hereby use my namefag authority to demand moar antics! I must read about more cute prison ponies!
>”Alright inmates! Time to clean up! Bubble bath time, then dinner!”
>Your outburst echoes across the entire room, drowning out the noise of cleanup.
>All eyes fall on you, from fellow inmate to Guardspony.
>”Is there a PROBLEM, inmate anonymous?”
>You’ve been “accosted” by this guardspony all day, and you don’t know her name.
“N-none at all ma’am.”
>She narrows her eyes at you.
>”Don’t think just because you got a good boy sticker, doesn’t mean you get to run things!”
“I never thought that for a moment, ma’am.”
I’ve got my eyes on you, new guy…”
>She glares at you for what seems like a long while before revealing a wing from under her uniform to put a whistle in her mouth.
“Ah. She’s a Pegasus.”
>”Get moving you mules! CLEAN!”
>She starts walking the floor to supervise cleanup time, leaving you to talk amongst the girls.
>Logical peeks over Dib before whispering to you.
>”Wow. Teabag really has it in for you, fresh meat.”
“Teabag? Her name is Teabag?”
>”Yeah, but she hates being addressed by it.”
>You’ll keep that in the back of your mind for when you need it.
>”So anon…”
>Dib breaks you out of your thoughts.
>”Do you hate bubble baths?”
>”Do you hate bubble baths?”
>Ruby giggles, nudging her with an elbow.
>”Maybe he’ll be like Floorb, and hide during tub time!”
>Dib makes an over exaggerated gagging gesture.
>”Have you gotten a whiff of her? It’s like a garbage dumpster on fire, with the country of Marexico!”
>Ruby stifles her laughter.
>”No! No! It’s more like a compost heap rutted a decaying whale corpse!”
“Hey you two, it’s not nice to talk about others behind their backs. I’m sure she can’t help it. Look at her-“
>Everyonr at your table looks at Floorbored.
>She looks so lonely over all by herself…
“See? I’m sure if you guys got the chance to know her, you’d see that she’s a pony you might want to-“
>Floorbored looks around, then starts whiffing markers.
>Well sh*t.
>The girls all look at you expectantly.
“…Maybe that’s not the best example. Let’s just shelve it for now, alright?”
>They don’t look convinced.
>You rub the back of your head, internally cringing. One thing that seems to parallel earth prisons is the inmates can sense weakness, and right now your scent is stronger than Floorbored’s equine musk.
>Cleanup continued in relative silence on your part, while Ruby, and Dib continued to crack jokes about Floorbored, and her “Jars”?
>Logical Leap was suspiciously quiet after your less than stellar speech.
>Guardspony teabag, and her whistle then herded you and the others to what seems like a bathroom for kids, with a luxurious bubble bath already drawn.
>You think of your shitty plumbing with the hot water heater that doesn’t always work, and yet, here at Canterlot Corrections, they get a steamy, hot fragrant bath.
There’s a couple errors in there. Because I hit return on accident. Sorry
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pre bed boop
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Just read all of these, fun stuff anon, any chance for a ponepaste?
cute as fuck limey
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It’ll have clop coming up. REALLY soon. I don’t want it out there in case someone recognizes my style
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oh lord this is gonna be fun
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ponk is just too lewd
>when you finally compose the perfect Valentine's Card for Nonny Wonny
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I need sauce
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>clop coming up
Twilight should brush her teeth
But bro...
Twilight is finally getting that Kiss
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cute drowsy dash
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wub hoers inna wuv bawks
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>All that slack in the chains.
>Not cuffing the hind hoofs to the front hoofs to prevent bucking
>They still have full range of motion, meaning they can remove the tennis ball
Whoever secured these nefarious ponies should be fired.
>He doesn’t know they’re enchanted
Silly human. Your loins wouldn’t last a day in Maretime Bay Street prison
>wastes enchanted cuffs on two nobodies instead of doing the easy way and just cuffing the front hooves to the hind hooves
you are bureaucracy and its money wasting incarnate
>Anon the Libertarianism constantly tries to lower government spending
>Celestia just decides to let Anon manage the budget with the only limitation that he can't fire anyone since that would make them sad
How well does Anon do?
Keep it up, and you’ll be in a cell right with them at MBSP, mister, and you’ll get fitted for some jewelry yourself!
He goes to prison himself for embezzling the love and friendship trust fund
at the end of the day they are still little marshmallow poners, they'd probably nuzzle you instead of bucking you.
>Day 23 in prison
“(For the most part, I’ve managed to keep my head down, but Izzy has taken to things here like a fish to water. I’ve heard that you’re supposed to find the biggest, baddest pony in the yard, and take them down, that being Anon, but she did the opposite! She hugged him, and kissed him, and since then it’s like they’re family! In fact I think Izzy is the only thing keeping me safe. I dropped my soap the other day, and suddenly Anon was standing behind me! It was so scary, and yet….What am I saying?! It’s not like I wanted to be taken then, and there! To have that huge, tatted up hunk of vegan beef bury himself deep in my as-)”
>”Hey sunny! Look! My new pals gave me a tattoo!”
>Izzy proudly sports a black tear by her right eye.
“That’s nice, Izzy.”
>She bounces off back to Anon and his gang.
>Anyway, where were you?
“Oh right!”
>(“You hope you can make it another day. Why did Izzy have to hit Posey with that scooter?”)
Posey had it F*cking coming
I think it’s funny words are bleeped by some unknown entity in this thread. We can’t say F**k or s**t. Or Di*k or nigger or a**. Or- wait a sec…
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luna got the cone!
What ever for?
she was too lewd towards anon
cute snek pone
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she doing a big heccin steppy
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Those hooves were made for walkin'
And that's just what they'll do
She's so tiny!
>shatters your fucking ankle
Nothin’ personal kid
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cute dinky
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pre bed boop
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what a nice mare
Chrysalis would demand more
She's quite the glutton
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oh no
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anon's getting up to shenanigans again
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yes, also checked.
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surprise wing hug
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Is kinder derpy just normal derpy or does she get more derpy?
formally requesting images of cookies n' cream, as i have not see any yet. post best cuddle buddy.
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What happens if I don't?
poner will be big sad
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i drew a small heap of them last year, I'll share a couple before i go to sleep
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also the drawing in the archive has a cookie

my art gains gave grown a bit since i drew these, just gotta find the time to make fresh stuff
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pre bed boop
>feed bag
>sleep sewing
Too cute, too cute!
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>"Hello there, friends-to-be
>I'm glad you came to visit me
>I am Zecora, of zebra kind
>with many a tales to blow your mind"
cute zeeb
So what's the /kinder/ lore for zebras?
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she gotz muffins
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why does she kazoo?
Sometimes she just has to let the music out.
I see
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cookies is the best!
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twiggy boop
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flutterbutter a cute here
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what a liddle shid
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she needs help bros
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Silly filly, poners don't eat beef.
don't worry bro it's actually seitan
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ponker poe hugs you
>he doesn't know ponies are opportunistic omnivores
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Would absolutely snuggle Ponker.
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she would undoubtedly be the softest warmest poner you could ever cuddle
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