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08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
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Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.


The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:

~~~~~

>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

~~~~~

Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 354, and we've got turkey galore!
>>
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>>
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here: >>39201511

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and stuff used in these stories!
Check it out here:
http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
>>
First for Not Sexy Hooves!
>>
>>39285453
First for NNN!
>>
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Hey, Tia? Gotta question.

"I'm not even on my balcony this time. I'm in my closet. You see that, right? That this is a closet, not a balcony? How did you even find me? How did you get in here? Did you somehow summon yourself from the ether to bother me no matter where I may go with question after question? Are you actually a hallucination and in my head? Am I broken? Explain this to me!"

>Anyway, was wonderin' about yer' family.

"Do not skirt my possible mental breakdown!"

>It's just, it's weird that nobody ever mentions it. Like ya' would think that, at some point, someone would ask or you would write it down. Surely ya' didn't just pop in out of nowhere.

"Like you, just now? Clearly it's possible!"

>So what gives? Why don't they ever come to see you? Are they all dead?

"They're either all dead, or on a plane of existence beyond ours and only I and Luna came down in order to guide ponykind by crafting a successor to our powers, or we just had regular parents and came out alicorn somehow, and they died over a thousand years ago. You should know this, hallucination!"

>What do you mean, or?

"I forgot."

>Ya' forgot!?

"It's been a while."

>Yer' messin' with me, aren't you?

"Maybe, a hallucination should know!"

>Ah' just wanted to invite yer' family to the celebration.

"Which is?"

>Ah' dunno, BuffaloPony Thanking? Thanks for the giving? We ain't worked it out yet, but it's a big table thing. Is this how it felt in the early days of a tradition? Huh.

"What!?"

>Just inviting family to this, yes no?

"No."

>Awww. Oh well. Ain't yer' fault, probably. Right?

"Hm."

>R-right?

"A hallucination would know my guilt."

>Ah' suddenly feel like warning the world about Flurry.

"Too late on that one. Equestria is about to go into ruin at the hooves of an alicorn."

>Now Ah' know yer' messin' with me.

"Am I?"

...

"Am I?

...

"Applejack? Oh dear lord she was in my head. I really have snapped."

>Ah' just stopped talkin-

"WAH!"

BACKFLIP
CRASH

>Ya' good?

"I need a bigger closet!"
>>
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Pinkie Preview Prohecies

>Filthy Rich is confused about which nuts you're talking about.
>Spike crushed his nuts and everyone felt that.
>Harry is a champion of not shaving during this month.
>Braeburn can't stop getting nuts on himself.
>Silver Spoon wants to be sure you're looking at her nuts.
>Gilda enjoys gobbling up...deez nuts.
>The Crusaders needs you to come...over here.
>non-stop nutting fanservice!
>>
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>>39244673

During Halloween I made this story while I was drunk and I could have sworn I gave up on it because I have no memory of actually finishing it, but I did somehow. It's waaaaay late, but I'm just mainly proud that my drunk writing was mostly coherent and cracking up over suddenly Spike.

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
{Spike}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and our producer is super drunk, so we ignore our own canon!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one…'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main segment...NIGHTMARE NIGHT!!!'"

>Did everypony have a good Nightmare Night?

"'Yeeeah!'"

>Wait really?

"Yeah, I kept Silver Spoon in check, I tossed eggs, and tomatoes at the movie theater, and at Applejack!

>Oof I really wish you two would get along.

'She needs to have good candy for starters.'

>Okay that's fair. What about you Cadence?

"My citizens are really great at giving me Candy. I don't remember exactly remember what happened. I think we-"
A flashback transition begins, but Pinkie interrupts it.

>Nopo nope nope. We don't have time for that. Anyway, that sounds like extortion, but I'm too unhindged to care. Did we enjoy Spike's Nightmare Night party?

"'Yeeeeeah!'"

>Also Spike, How do you do it every time?

{Uh...I don't know. A higher power wills it?}

>There you have it. That's all the time we have, but there'll be plenty of pink next time!

>"'Byyyyye~'"
>>
>>39285496
>Backflipping in a closet

This is a euphemism for something…
>>
>>39285860
I mean a couple but none of that here.
>>
>>39285686
Well damn I’m just having? LNPp
>>
>>39285686
Wooo! Always down for more pinks, drunk or no
>>
>>39285496
Ha haaa, subtle
>>
>Lucky Strikes
"Haymaker"
'Steam Gauge"
~Quicksilver~
~~~~~~

>Alright, ponies! The princess is in danger! That means it's time for us to shine!

"Glow."

>What?

"When you're on fire, you glow, you don't shine."

>...what are you implying?

'He's saying that we'll be burned alive if we even try.'

~He's also not wrong. In any capacity.~

"What are we going to do, punch them?"

'Like, really hard?'

>I can't believe what I'm hearing! We're the defenders of Equestria, the defenders of the CROWN! We should-

"Give me a plan that won't end with our deaths and I will do it and throw you an honest to god parade."

'With streamers.'

~And glitter.~

>...Glitter is hard to clean up.

"Is that what's stopping you?"

>I'm just trying to think of how to phrase dying for your country without sounding like a dick.

"And there it is."
>>
>>39287246
>>39287246
I mean they signed up for this
>>
>>39287516
>Haymaker
"Lucky Strikes"
~~~~

>You tell me where in my contract it said I had to fight kaiju and I'll shut up.

"Right there, paragraph six."

>...Son of a bitch.

"It's not like we didn't know about Dragons or Hydra, the fuck.":
>>
>>39285860
>I’m just trying to find my directions
>>
>Spike
"DT"
~~~

>Is it a war crime if I shoot him in the eyes?

"Is it a war crime to mess up an entire universe?"

>...yeah?

"Well then, who's going to give us a trial?"

>Presumably ponies we know and who love us dearly and owe us a lot.

"Uh huhhh."

>...oh no nepotism is going to save us.

"Does it ever not?"
>>
>>39287777
>Lucky Sevens

Appropriate
>>
>>39287777
>Lucked out
>>
>>39287731
He has a point, you think they’d be ready for giants
>>
>Cafe pony
~~

>Coffee for mister... fi-zel? Fizel?... Hello? Huh, I could've sworn he was at the table... did that motherfucker dine and dash!? I'll kill-

...

>Wait... wait a minute... He didn't take the... but he paid for the...

...

>...I am very confused.
>>
>>39288303
She was saving him from high prices
>>
>>39288266
With what? Spears?
>>
>>39288623
>Lucky Strike
"Pommel"
~~~

>Permission to throw a spear at him!

"...granted?"

CHUCK
TINK

>Spear deployed, sir!

"...Good job?"

>I am an achiever.
>>
>>39288632
Hey he had a goal and did it.
>>
>>39287246
>Pommel
“LS”
~~~~

“Boss! Give them a speech!”

>Ahem, don’t die but do something cool.

“…”

>That is all.

“How did you get this jo- oh right
>>
>>39288950
It wasn’t nepotism for once
>>
>>39288623
DT needs to share
>>
>>39289367
Pennydrop was supposed to be arming them
>>
>>39289608
I’m sure she’ll get right on that
>>
>>39289907
Soon as she is not being dead
>>
>>39290197
Of course she’s not dead, how is Citty supposed to torture her if she’s dead?

She’s in legoland without shoes
>>
>>39290458
But they never wear shoes
>>
>>39290458
SOMEWHERE
>Pennydrop
~~~~

>Why does it feel like I'm shitting razor blades for a normal dump every morning
>My doctor is so confused
>>
>>39291088
>Elsehwhere, everyone celebrates the sixteenth "FUCK PENNYDROP" day of the year.
>17 days in.
>She took a break.
>>
>Queen
"Spike"
~~~~

>HEY! HEEYYYY!

"...what?"

>We're still a threat, you know!

"Oh?"

>Yeah! You can't just forget about us because she showed up! This is Queen time! QUEEN TIME!

"...okay?"

>So, like... pay attention to us and fight us too!

"Alright."

BLAM

>OH FUCK MY KNEECAPS!

"Glad I could be of service."
>>
>>39291479
>Queen 2
"Spike"
~~~

>...

"Did you want to be involved too?"

>N-noooo.

"Good call."

BOOM

>OH FUCK MY FACE! ROCKETS HURT SO MUCH!

"Not an effective call, but a good one.
>>
>>39291728
I mean they’re learning
>>
>Potsticker
"Pommel"
~~~

>Can you STOP FLYING AROUND THE DAMN BATTLEFIELD AT HIGH VELOCITY!? How am I supposed to protect my princess if she's in another ZIP CODE by the time I even get my hooves off the ground!

"...Protect?"

>Shaddup it's my royal duty!

"And you've succeeded how often?"

>Pot, meet kettle, I'm going to put you to a fire if you don't shaddup.

"...retracted."
>>
>Haymaker
"Ember"
~~~

>I noticed that too, why does every attack send them flying across the place? Does no one know how to block?

"Block... in the air?"

>I mean-

"What the fuck is she supposed to brace against, exactly? The air?"

>I mean I figured they'd just like, fly.

"Oh! Flying! In the other direction! Why oh why did no one ever think of that? Because a head on collision will do so much better for force than, I don't know, letting air resistance do the job?"

>I mean you can just-

"Hey. Hey."

>Yeah?

"Do you have wings?"

>...no.

"Have you ever experienced the majesty of flight? Taken off into the skies? Danced above the clouds?"

>I went to cloudsdale once...

"Then hows about you shut the fuck up on how air velocity works!"

>Alright, jeeze.

"..."

>...could just use lasers-

"I don't even want to hear it!
>>
>>39292200
No chill
>>
>>39292200
Jesus ember

Leave some chunks later
>>
>>39292241
Earf ponies need to know their place
>>
>>39292200
>Delight
"Ember"
~~

>You know, I fly and even I don't know everything about fighting in the air.

"Obviously."

>And-

"No no, you nailed it, you don't know."

>...I have wings.

"Neat, I have two hands, but I don't know how to play the bongos. Do I make myself look like a dumbass saying I can play the bongos? No? Welllll..."

>...this is because you don't think you'd win in a fistfight, isn't it?

"You shut your truthful mouth!"
>>
>>39292612
No
Chill
>>
>>39292612
Damn Ember, they can grow you too
>>
>>39292871
If they got a supersize now is time to bust it out
>>
>>39293029
Oh my
>>
>>39293029
Spikes being greedy
>>
>>39293434
… do it nore
>>
>>39293434
Hrm
>>
>>39294007
It is an option
>>
>>39294007
>Spike
"DT"
~~~~

>SPIKE WANT!

"..."

>...tooo feel less embarrassed...
>>
>>39294869
>Look I was just hoping to feel more greedy and supersize!

"But that took you days last time."

>Well, it was days for slightly bigger, than suddenly Spikezilla size instantaneously... you know this really never came up afterwards.

"Yeah that one seems like an idea that never fully developed."
>>
>>39295039
They tried
>>
>>39295039
>Spike
"7"
~~~

>I've got it! Mind control! Get in my head and make me greedy!

"Okay!"

>Wait wait wait wait.

"What?"

>I just realized you'd have full control over me.

"And?"

>...

"Oh come on!"

>We're friends, friends with benefits is the only time I let you inside me.
>>
>>39295971
"I'm really good at controlling predators!"

>Diggy hole, diggy diggy hole.

"Awww."
>>
>>39292612
Ember just wants to be the center of attention
>>
>>39295971
I like that it’s an option
>>
>>39296654
Her ego is bigger
>>
>Musca
"Derpy"
'Cloudchaser'
~~~

>Yay!

"What?"

>My team got a new player!

"Wait, but I thought we were teammates!"

'You should've know a bug would betray you! It's what "They" do!'

"Kinda racist."

>No no, totally accurate, we're pretty much designed to backstab.

"Ah."

>I mean, genetically, we're made to stab you in the back and literally remove love from you. We are specifically designed, from the ground up, to deceive you and take away happy feelings. I mean this is just basic.

"...huh."

>It's built in.

"I guess..."

'Wait, so I was correct!?"

>Yep! You're right, we're genetically made to be evil. So...

"..."

'...'

>You can join my side, you know! We can still be friends!

"How's about we wait till the winner is decided and then jump ship to the winning move?"

>Wow, you would make a great changeling!

'Sniff... they grow up so fast...'
>>
>>39297276
shes learning
>>
>>39297276
Goddamn, you can't just reveal that. Poor form
>>
>>39297787
She's trying to earn trust by being honest. Genius.
>>
>>39297949
But nobody trusted anybody
>>
Morning all
>>
>>39298626
Morning /pa/l
>>
>AUJ
"Altlestia
~~~

>...would ya' do it for a Scootasnack?

"That's never going to be a thing."

>Dang it! Would ya do it for cake?

"I have plenty of cake."

>Would ya' do it iffin' it meant you could eat ice cream whenever you want?

"I'm a legal adult, I can do that, I just don't because nature is cruel."

>Woooooould you do it if it meant Luna never used yer' toothbrush again?

"...hrm..."
>>
>>39299250
>Pinkie
"Altlestia"
~~~~~

>I'm just gonna say it... less birthday parties.

"Hrmmmmm."
>>
>>39299440
>Ralt
"Altlestia"
~~~

>You get to be the only princess, again!

"HRRMMMM!"
>>
>>39299671
>Altwi
"Altlestia"
~~~~

>You get to be the one who saved the universe?

"By breaking it?"

>Yes.

"...HRM"
>>
>>39299915
>Alt-Dash
“Altlestia”
~~~~

>You could be the second fastest mare in the world!

“Don’t you mean fastest?”

>Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

“But you’ll be dead.”

>And still, a pretty fast ghost.

“But-“

>Celestia? Will there be walls to stop me

“I guess not, but-“

>Common. Sense.
>>
>>39300089
...wait hold up she's not wrong
>>
>>39300297
No wind resistence either.
>>
>>39300523
>Alt-Dash
~~~~

>I'm kind of starting to think being dead is a plus.
>>
>>39300695
Well that's good considering
>>
>>39300967
>Alright, I choose death!

CLICK

"DASH NO NOT YET!"

~Wow that sounds bad said out loud..~
>>
>>39301212
Not YET
>>
>>39301494
Just had to say when… Weirdly dark
>>
>>39300523
And they can’t stop her
>>
>>39302717
>Alt-Dash
~~~~

>Finally! I have become speed! Now to take my trophy!

Swipe

>… wait shit
>>
>>39303041
>It's an amazing trick
>But I can only do it once
>>
>>39303247
And that’s how I thought Pinkie would die
>>
>>39303041
>Wait, can anyone even see me?

...
'
>I did not think this through. On brand for me.
>>
File: New.jpg (513 KB, 1280x907)
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513 KB JPG
OOCO
>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
~~~~

>Ladies? I have... concrit, regarding the new Crystal Empire flag.

"Awww, Shiny, it's so sweet you think we asked before we locked it in and begun production."

'And it's so sweet you think we'd change it anyway!'

>I'm just saying it gives off certain... imagery.

"That's the intention!"

'Like, baked in.'

>You literally put me in the middle of you two.

"That's because you're the center of my world, Shiny!"

>Awww... but why-

"Because I need someone to be on the other side for it to be the center. You're not the left of right of my world, silly!"

'It just sounds less romantic.'

"So I picked Chrysalis for the dichotomy!"

'And I didn't know what that word meant, but I got to be on the flag!'

>What's the dichotomy?

"True love and unrepentant lust."

'Unrewhosaywhatnow?'

"I figured out I can get her to agree to anything if I use words she doesn't know."

'You can't get me to do ANYTHING... I didn't agree to go to the veterinarian.'

"She knew that word."

>Just... it looks like I'm the real ruler of the Empire here.

"Shiny, shiiiiny... much more ponies are going to think you're a trophy."

'Yeah, you're not even on it.'

>Huh...

"Besides, they're not wrong about you being in between us."

'HAH!'

>Alright.. why the tongues hanging out, tho?

"We put that handsome picture of you up and we kept doing it so much the photographer wouldn't take us back..."'

'DAMN that's a sexy stallion!'

>...alright, dears, you know best.

"'Damn right."'
>>
>>39303738
>Flagmaker
"Cadence'
~~~

>...wait, isn't Chrysalis taller than-

"DO NOT"
>>
>>39303738
CHAD Armor
>>
>>39285472
Damn! OP, you must have spent a lot of time compiling all those links. Thank you
>>
>>39304101
We just add one every new thread because sometime near the beginning someone pointed out it looks like a tree and it meant every thread was the tree growing.

So, that settled that matter.
>>
>>39304117
>Resembles a growing tree
Very genious
>>
>>39304146
That's why the links to the wiki explaining everything and holding all the artwork and the pastebin with the early threads are at the bottom, the "Roots".
>>
>>39303738
>42
"18"
~~

>Heh.

"Heh, what?"

>Count the belt loop holes.

"...SON OF A
>>
>>39304345
heh
>>
>>39303738
>>39304345
>4 and 2

You gotta be shitting me
>>
>>39304812
>Hey, you did end up underneath-

~~~~

>We're gathered here today to say goodbye to a friend, taken by blood loss...
>>
>>39305129
Second best death
>>
>>39305351
"What would be the best?"

>If I made it to the bedroom...
>>
>>39303738
That is a busy flag
>>
>>39305821
I think it’s just supposed to be a picture
>>
>>39305129
Just as planned
>>
>>39306342
Don’t give KKA a heat attack
>>
>>39306882
Did you mean heart or “oh myyyyy”
>>
>Jetset
"Honeyheart"
~Queen~
~~~

>And again, the situation dives squarely out of our favor.

"Was it ever really IN our favor? Seems like it was always kinda, I dunno, adjacent?"

>Fair. But that dragon's kicked it far to the wayside.

~DIE PONY! DIE-~

>Hup!

WHAM!

~GRPK!~

"And the queens are starting to act up again..."

>Hmm.

"You wouldn't happen to have a super-sizing buddy waiting in the wings, would you?"

>No. Spike's the only one who could even manage that and, well...

{HRRR! SPIKE WANT! DRAGON UP! I'M GOING DRA- Hey, is someone listening in on this?!}

>I don't think we have years to wait for that.

"Mmm. What about someone to help with the queens? You're an agent, so maybe your work buddies could help?"

>Hrrrmm...

"...Are you worried they don't see you as a friend-"

>NO! I'm... concerned they won't have the dedication I do to risk their lives.

"Right."

>Because it takes dedication to be here. Not friendship.

"Mhm. If you say so, Jetty."

>I do!

"Save it for the priest, dear."

>I- wait, wha-

~DIE!~

WHAM!

~WAHGK!~

"But, maybe you should try? It can't hurt, could it? Anymore than whatever random assortment of powers these queens have."

>Hrrrmmm... Fine...

BLINK

+-and comin' up hot on the track, Checkmaster Sound is-+

~UNLIVE!~

+ABOUT TO GET SKEWERED BY A QUEEN?!+

WHAM!

"But is saved at the last minute byyyy"

+Jetset?!+

>Rookie.

+I'm not a rookie!+

"But you are 'dedicated'."

>SHUSH!

+What the hell is going on?!+

>A fight for the very fate of existence.

+Ah. That explains every- IS THAT A GIANT DRAGON?!+

>Technically, he's above average since most of them are-

+You know what I mean!+

"Like a real 'dedicated' agent would."

+...Is that code for someth-+

>Just fight the queens!
>>
>32
"Queen"
~~~~~~

>AHAHAHAHAHHH! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHHA!

"Hey! Look! Giant dragon! Punching! Completely crazy events! Don't you want to be a part of that?"

PUNCH

"FACE!"

>AHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Are you really so obsessed with punching Queens that you are ignoring the GIANT DRAGON!?"

>Yes!

PUNCH PUNCH

>And it's the best day of my liiiiiiife!

PUNCH!
>>
>>39307335
>Casual mind reading

He's finally become what he swore to destroy.
>>
>>39307511
>Jetset
"Honeyheart"
~~~~~~~

>I'm using Harmony, it's cool.

"..."

>Rainbows mean it's good guy!
>>
>>39307335
>Soundcheck, what do your pony ears hear?

+They're taking the princess to poundingtown!+

"Do deee do dooooo."
>>
>>39307963
Oh god the nostalgia
>>
>>39307694
>Sunset
~

>That isn't accurate!

Notices her hand has green fire.

>...that proves nothing.
>>
>>39308543
>Hand

NOT AGAIIIIIIN
>>
>>39308773
Demon Sunset Revive?
>>
>>39308984
I mean she liked the look...
>>
>>39309244
Her good form at least.
>>
>>39307413
>32
"Queen:"
~~~~

"Why do you even hate us!?"

>I actually have a list, most of them are about your stupidity-

"Nevermind, resume the punching."

>:GLADLY!
>>
>>39309685
Hey it hurts less.
>>
>>39308984
Why does that sound like a persona move
>>
>>39310027Save it for the next one
>>
>>39310027
I was thinking magic card
>>
>>39309897
Words leave something more
>>
>>39307963
Fuck it’s been too long
>>
>Haymaker
"PJ"
~~

>PJ!

"Oh, hey, someone talking to me in my brain suddenly and without warning... it's a lot more annoying on this side."

>Summon a giant changeling!

"...we have one of those?"

>You don't!?

"No."

>Like, what about your mom?

"Freezing protection."

>Ten's mom?

"Scorpion tail."

>Forty One's mom!?

"That one's a giant."

>YES!

"Annnd she despises Forty One."

>...This is some bullshit.

"If they actually liked us they'd be dead, I don't think you understand the system."
>>
>>39311116
>Time, is the one thing no one can defeat
>>
>>39311366
Where is 41 anyway?
>>
~~~~

"HO YEAHHHH!"

The shockwave that rippled through the land was almost as loud as the dragon's cry of victory.

Almost.

"Did you see that!? One punch and kaboom!"

To emphasize his point to the alicorn, he lifted his clenched ivory claw from the stunned princess below and showed it off proudly. In turn, a wry yet warm smile crossed her sunny face, even if she could not hold back the rolling of her eyes at his pride.

"I mean, bam!"

"Told you to stay in Titan form."

The alicorn's smug words brought a smile, and a flex of his spike ridden muscles, to the drake. His agreement came when the white dragon gave a nod that made his bright pink hair sway.

"You called it! Now, who do I need to burn first?"

His eyes swept across the battlefield, stopping any heart who's owner was unlucky enough to see his gaze linger upon them for just a second too long.

Deadly claws scraped against one another, flames licked out from between his fangs, and his strong muscles tensed in the excitement of what is to come. Even from up on high as they were, those below could sense his sight and the thoughts that filled them. Thoughts of their end in a swift, and unstoppable nature.

"That one's asking for it!"

He claimed, pointing to a random pony who certainly did not seem to be asking for anything save a way to escape this nightmare before it got too far.

"You can do whatever you want, we really need to win this, but first..."

With a jerk of her head, she gestured below.

"Mind finishing what you started?"

As true as the sky was vast, the alicorn was correct. Down below, the princess stirred. Certainly injured from the fight and terrible finish, but hardly out of the battle yet.

"Can do!"

He sounded far too chipper about that.

"Good. You don't have to ki-"

He had long since stopped paying attention the second she had given him free reign to do as he pleased. To her shock, and the horror of all those who witnessed it, the dragon's mouth split wide and a blaze of fire hotter than the surface of an erupting volcano raged within the confines of his diamond destroying teeth.

Before she could say a word, before those who could act could move at all, the world filled with light.

A light that did not shine in front of the drake,

"WHAT THE FU-"

It came from behind him.

"UUUUUUU-"

His flame, meant to reduce the princess to cinders, sprayed wildly in the air as he was lifted into the air and rolled back. The illumination of Harmony's teleportation had not even finished solidifying before both his legs kicked wildly in open air, his screams mingling with the roar of flame.

By the time the light had solidified into a strange, purple color, his flame had stopped.

Or, that's what it seemed at least. It was impossible to tell with his head in the ground as it was.

"...did an Ursa Major just suplex my dragon?"

1/3
>>
>>39311903

Said Ursa Major rolled to the side, away from the flailing and incapacitated monster that could not bring his spiked head free from the ground. It was not until that bear gave aid that he was able to, and it came at the terrible cost of being unable to do anything as he was yanked by his tail and hurled as far away from the Tree of Harmony as could be managed.

It wasn't much, yet those closest felt every inch counted in matters such as these.

"How... how did..."

The shocked alicorn's gaze, eventually, landed on the head of the starlight creature in question.

"You!"

Hiding among something that glowed like the night sky would have been a challenge for anyone, even a changeling made for infiltration. Even so, nothing could have escaped the magical sight of the one who locked onto him.

"You don't know it was me!"

The words felt a little disingenuous when they came from the bear by accident. It was only after he realized his mistake that the mind control faded from the Ursa's eyes, and she was allowed to act of her own accord again. She seemed to hold little grudge, if any, on the matter, likely only now aware what was going on and why instant action was needed.

"...You don't even know who I am!"

Through grit teeth, with venom spewing out between them, she gave her response.

"Seven."

After a brief, tense silence, the one among the glowing fur coughed.

"Wrong changeling, racist. I'm uh... Ninety Nine? My thing is... I'm really into bears."

His words may as well have been air, that's how little she seemed to care as she summoned forth her magic.

"When I get done with this, the first thing I'm making Chitty do is have you be born with a splinter in your brain."

She meant it.

He could tell.

"Aw come on! I'm trying to be helpful here-"

Such matters seemed quaint compared to the dragon that hit them both like a freight train.

"Now you've done it! You've unleashed the FIZZLE!"

It sounded more impressive in his head, and was nothing compared to the punch he laid across her face.

The massive bear, in turn, punched him even harder.

"Fizzle! Don't kill the changeling on top of it!"

The dragon would continue being confused when the stars stopped dancing in his eyes.

"Because I'm going to kill him, eventually!"

Things made more sense now, a little.

"Bunny! Punch harder! Punch like my life depends on it!"

So distracted by the fight, he didn't even realize that the alicorn's words had not been empty, and she had begun to gather magic upon her horn.

"No need to worry about that..."

Her sights were locked in, her hatred burning in her heart.

"You won't have one in three, two...."

She almost hit him, right there. Almost ended it all with a single blast upon her horn. She would have, it was a certainty.

Had it not been for the single attack even she, in all her foresight, could never have seen coming.

"THOU SHALT NOT!"

A Prisstomp to the back of her head.

2/3
>>
>>39311907

One that pointed her deadly attack straight down.

"...ow."

It didn't do anything more than that. It certainly wasn't enough to send her moving in the air, or stun her, or truly hurt her. Yet, despite how little damage it did, it was far more effective than most any other attack could have been in one, single regard.

"...Twenty Nine."

It got her attention, in full.

And as she turned back to him, thoughts of striking at her second most hated of changelings simply faded away. Seeing him behind her, flying on buzzing wings filled with determination and eyes filled with something much softer, it made the fire within her belly fade away.

Time passed as they stared each other down, long enough for the raging giant pair in the background to somehow get into a death roll of punches and kicks that ended with the dragon kicking the bear right into the air, only to come back down with elbow at the ready.

"Sunset."

There he was. Changeling Twenty Nine.

One of the rare ones in all this world she held no anger at. One of the even rarer ones whom she would truly call close.

He had no attack ready, he seemed unwilling to fight, and for that she had little surprise. He never did have much drive for such things, until pushed.

"Sunset, mine friend, thou have let thineself be taken in by rage, thine anger and hate at ones who have abandoned thee have twisted thine mind! But tis not too late, thou can still-"

"I know."

He froze, she shrugged.

"Yeah, I know why I'm acting like this... so?"

The changeling had expected many a discussion to be had when he had recklessly charged into the fray.

He wasn't ready for this, what was sure to be the debate of his life.

He wasn't ready, he wasn't prepared, yet within his heart of courage he knew he would give it his all.

"...Thou art being a stupid stupid dum dum!"

He was off to a great start.
>>
>>39311911
>AND ITS BUBBLES WITH THE STUNNER

>BY GOD THAT DRAGON HAS A FAMILY
>>
>>39311911
>Spike
“DT”
~~~~

>Raise your appendage if you’re deeply confused.

“About the bear or that 29 apparently knows Sunset?”

>YES
>>
>>39311911
>7 is just digging his own grave
>>
>>39311911
>Fizzle
"Bear'
~~~~

>WHAT!? WHY....

"GRAGGGHH!"

>WHY IS BEAR!?
>>
>>39311911
I'm actually hyped for 29 and Sunset, I feel like this has been building up for a while.
>>
>>39311911
>>39312174
He is the only one besides Chitty she really seemed to like.
>>
>>39311911
>Fizzle already undercut

Hah
>>
>>39311911
>Luna
~~~

>...we can taste... our insides...
>>
>>39312174
So long as we get explosions
>>
>>39312668
>Fizzle
~~

>But how can I explode-

~~~~~


>Oh that's how... owwww
>>
>>39312515
>Why is nobody healing us we know you can
>>
>>39313266
>This shit is why you're not our friends
>>
>>39313539
There’s a song about this
>>
>>39313539
She’s working on it
>>
>>39313819
Gotta win them over somehow
>>
>>39312953
Internal combustion
>>
NC
>29
"Sunset"
~~~~~

>...have thou considered therapy?

"I'm blacklisted thanks to being "a bit too much for medication"

>Many such cases
>>
>>39314711
>Have you considered hard drugs?

“I already look like I’m in crack”
>>
NC
>29
"Sunset'
~

>...

"Trying to think of a debate?

>I'm more confused as to why we did it BEFORE you became a princess...

"That is odd in hindsight, yeah."
>>
>>39314981
>Do I have a royalty making dick?

"Gonna say noooooo..."
>>
>>39312953
>Fizzle
“Bubbles”
~~~~
>… so you single?

“Me have paw, which would be better than you.”

>PUNCHES IT IS!
>>
>Spike
"007"
~~~

>YOU HAVE AN URSA MAJOR!?

"Spike, get out of my brain!"

>Not even a minor, a MAJOR! Major bear!

"I need to focus here!"

>You didn't even tell me! You didn't even share! You just sat up there with your big and furry bear!

"Spike please!"

>You didn't even hint at this, you jerk!

"The dragon is hitting me!"

>Did you always have a kung fu bear?

"..."

>Did you always have a kung fu bear!?

"...well, technically, she doesn't know kung fu, I'm doing a mind meldy thing-"

>YOU HAVE A KUNG FU BEAR!

"Spiiiiiike!"

~Hey, is this Seven?~

>It's Seven.

~Tell him he's not getting any ever again!~

"PJ!"

~Never! Again!~

"..."

~...alright maybe a little.~

>What!? Why!?

~He didn't blab I knew about the-whuh oh.~

>BETRAAYYYYALLLLL!

"I'm two seconds from letting him punch me. It would make Sunset happy."
>>
>>39315574
>>You didn't even hint at this, you jerk!
He kinda did.
>>
>>39315785
I mean not well and that's the point
>>
>>39315574
>PJ Knew

I didn't know that.
>>
>>39316269
She was in on the whole village thing. She'd have to try to miss that.
>>
>>39316485
>...I have sudden sex blindness.
>>
>>39316717
And deafness
>>
>>39316867
And… numb
>>
>>39316485
That makes sense
>>
>>39315352
Doesn’t she have a kid?
>>
>>39317713
Bubbles? It was implied she did, yeah, because a lot of his dialogue leading up to sneaking up on her was about her motherly instinct.
>>
>>39317831
>Fizzle
"Bubble"
~~~~

>Soooo... milf?

"PUNCHING HARDER!"

>That's the normal response to this.
>>
>>39315574
>Spike
"DT"
~~~

>So... anything you want to mention?

"..."

>Any reveeeals?

"...I have a-"

>I KNEW YOU HAD A MECH!

"Fillyboom armor."

>...giant sized?

"Regular."

>Huh, of all the ponies-

"I know."
>>
>>39318281
Pennydrop had the market.
>>
>>39317831
To be fair it might be older now
>>
>>39318281
>Zecora
"MM"
~~

>So does he have a plan, or is he just doing what he can?

"I don't know, he's hard to get a feel for sometimes."

>Because others get in the way, or you just refuse to play?

"Hey!"

>Way.

"Day."

>Bay.

"...Alright, that distracted me from my worries for a second."

>I'm glad I could help you out. It wouldn't do for you to pout.

"I do tend to fuss all about."

>And I wouldn't let you go without.

"...we should make an album.

>YEAH!
>>
>>39318875
Now I'm imagining the Uncle ruckus duet...
>>
>Spike
"DT"
~~

>Tell me you have a clear shot.

"I can lie to you as much as you want, but I'm not going to be shooting at that."

She gestured to the tangle of limbs wrestling hard enough to shatter the ground, before said limbs became obscured by a wall of fire.

>We need to help out Seven somehow, he can't get all the glory.

"Oh, I'm not letting him steal the show like that, I just want him to be in enough pieces to watch me shake my beautiful thick, and mareish flank at him."

In the distance, there was a laugh, and it took all she had not to fire off a rocket in its direction.

"Point is, if I want to help out, I need something to... distract him."

>...Is it Seventy Seven?

She stares right at him.

>I think it's Seventy Seven.

"Spike-"

>I'm going, I'm going...

It was always him.
>>
>>39319412
Such is life
>>
>>39318605
Or it was just maternal instincts
>>
>>39319959
Maybe he’ll clarify the next one
>>
>>39320254
We can only hope
>>
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ay you mf roleplaying or writing an endless manuscript in here fuck going on
>>
>>39320632
Script style short format mostly comedy one shots regarding characters in a very long story that’s fine in since season 1.

Original thread didn’t use description beteeen the green text because it’s all wordplay, we wanted to keep that, so we came up with a script format since 90 percent of all of these stories are just one shot sillies. Sure, there are giant world shaking battles that happen, arcs where the whole world is in danger from a
Cordyceps zombie apocalypse for instance, but for the most part it’s just characters doing a single punchline joke in a universe thst starts at thread 1 and doesn’t stop, unless it’s NC, non canon. Read thread 1 and watch how it all happens.
>>
>>39320632
I guess endless story from like 2 dozen or so authors over years?
>>
>Queen
"Queen"
~~~~~

>Are they ignoring us!?

"That bear just did a judo flip on the giant dragon..."

>Above average, dragon. This is pretty normal for him. Sure, he's a touch taller than the standard, but-

"Someone already did that bit."

>Well I could do it better, because I'm the greatest Queen who ever lived!

"Lots did that too."

>Well my power is surprising, but has drawbacks!

"Did that."

>Well I hate all of you!

"...uh-"

>Just shut up and watch the kung fu.

"Already was."

>...My name is-

"Nobody cares."

>Aw.
>>
>>39321282
Sad but true
>>
>>39321282
>Maybe if I shoot them?

"Why hasn't that been working by the way?"

>Fucking plot armor.
>>
>>39321849
>Bubbles
"Spike"
~7~
~~~~

>Me am seriously confused.

"Seven! Did you not tell the bear what's happening!?"

~Get of this line, Spike!~

"I have to protect my fellow Purple Pal!"

>Me am purple?

"Damn right you are!"

~Spike please I have to focus on the kung fu.~

>Me never noticed, me not see color like that.

"Wait, then how do you know what it is?"

>Mind control.

"Oh, right... waaaiiit, Seven! Show me what you think colors are, I'm going to solve a paradox question!"

~Spike a dragon is hitting me.~

"I know, but the paradox!"

>Does that mean you being big make up Big Purple Pals?

"PLUS Purple pals!"

>...that am good.

~WILL YOU FOCUS-~

The whole world rumbled.

"...you okay, purple pal?"

>Me fine. Seven got rumbled though.

~I see a lot more colors than I used to. Mostly red.~

"Keep rubbing it in!"
>>
>>39322065
>Spike
"Derpy"
~

>Damn it Seven, if you die like this-

"And then I said... wait, that's not me."

>Huh?

"Oh! I'd recognize that befuddlement anywhere! Hi, Spike!"

>Hiiii... you?

"You don't know to call me Derpy or Muffins, do you?"

>Yes that is the exact problem and nothing else.

"Just call me either, it's random."

>Alright, Duffin.

"Doesn't work."

>Eh, had to shoot my shot.

"You really didn't. Sooo, what'cha doing?"

>Oh, you know, conversing with Seven.

"You're friends with him?"

>Surprised me too.

"I mean, you shot him!"

>I did that and it's weird it's so well known.

"What else are we going to talk about?"

>True... so, what are you doing?

"Hanging out with a Queen who's got eyes like a fly."

>...neat.

"I think it's pretty cool.
>>
>>39322399
>just casually mindrapes
>>
>>39322609
More like trespassing
>>
>>39322835
Breaking and mentaling
>>
>>39323031
All right that’s funny
>>
>>39323031
Heh
>>
>>39322609
Once you pop the fun don’t stop
>>
>>39322399
Everybody keeps bringing up he shot him, nobody brings up he was working for evil to that point
>>
>>39324385
I mean Chrysalis was being shady, but not evil.
>>
>>39324385
>7
"Spike"
~~~~~

>EXCUSE ME FOR FOLLOWING ORDERS!

"..."

>We don't have nazis it doesn't have the same connection.

"Don't have what now?"

>Do NOT ask Sunset about history...
>>
>>39322399
Wait was she talking to herself
>>
>Pommel
"Delight"
'Ember'
~~~

>So, I can hear you.

"Yeah."

>And you can hear her.

~Yep.~

>And I can hear her because you hear her and I hear you.

"Sounds like it."

>So, who does she hear?

~Nobody, because I'm too awesome for any of you!~

>...

~And also I literally do not know who any of you are and have never met any of you. Big issue here.~

>Ahhh... so not having friends means less ponies in your head?

"That would be the logic of it."

>...is that a good thing or bad?

~You fuckers get superpowers from this I don't want to hear it.~
>>
>>39325166
>Don’t you also get-

~Please stop reminding me I need a friend group.~
>>
>>39325166
>How did you know Delight anyway?

~I saw him... In a dream.~

>...wow I didn't-

~Like an actual dream, literally. Because he invaded my dream.~

>...Pretty sure that's illegal-

"OH WOW LOOK AT THAT EXPLOSIONS!"
>>
>>39325767
>Luna
"Delight"
~~

>THOU DID WHAT!?

"Saved the world."

>...well we're still cross about it!
>>
>>39326041
"Also, eee, we're friends."

>Didn't thou summon me?

"You know that was SUPER unclear..."
>>
>>39326284
I mean it works or it doesn’t
>>
>>39326738
So, he owes her a birthday gift
>>
>>39325166
They probably do too
>>
>>39327415
The whole world does but hate each other
>>
>>39325767
What are you gonna do take him in
>>
>>39327415
>Ember
"Delight'
~~~

>You're telling me ANY species could have gotten superpowers through the novel concept of 'Not being dicks to each other', but none of us knew that, exploited that, or even remembered that!? Why!?

"Well there were the Knights of Harmony-"

>ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT
>>
>>39328308
Yeah let's not go down that route.
>>
>>39327942
>Pommel
"Delight"
~~~

>You are so under arrest!

"..."

>Later.

"..."

>Please continue saving the world until that point.

"...the fu
>>
>>39328737
Hey he said after
>>
>>39329130
>Delight
"Luna'
~~

>Princess? In theory, could you give me a pardon for dream shenanigans?

"Yes. Legally, ethically, the whole thoubang. We art the legal authority in general as a princess and the best at dream law. We could get thou out of it."

>Neat! So, you will, right?

"..."

>R-right?
>>
What's Thundercracker up to?
>>
>>39329396
>Thundercracker
"Pommel"
~~~~~~

BLINK

>...what the actual fuck.

"Soldier! Get ready, the fate of the world is-"

>I WAS AT MY WEDDING!

"...wha."

>I! WAS AT! MY WEDDING!

"I mean-"

>I WAS AT THE END OF THE ISLE! THE MUSIC HAD STARTED!

"Kind of a world ending threat here-"

>Is this why you didn't show up!?

"The end of the world thing? Yeah, this is related. Little bit."

>This is how you repay me for the invite!?

"I don't think I'm imparting on you just how end of the world this is."

>I bet that asshole Skywarp is going to-

BLINK


~HOW WOULD I KN-oh, there you are... annnnd where am I?~

>Wait what?

"Brain calling makes ponies appear."

>...That was a call? I was thinking of very bad things to do to him if he hit on my nearly wife.

~Hey yeah someone wanna fill me in? Also... what?~

"End of the world battle, need you guys to, you know... do the end of the world fight thing."

~...have we met?~

"I mean you didn't answer my brain call so, well..."

>He stole me from my wedding!

~Bold move, dude.~

"End! Of! The! World!"

~And you may have fun with that. Sky to the Warp, OUT!~

BLANK

~...it appears I'm not permitted to teleport away. This is less than ideal for me. We haven't met but it's kind of my whole thing.~

"I'm your superior officer."

~Right, never met.~

>This is bad! This is so bad! What if Starscream-

BLINK.

>...

"..."

~...You son of a bitch.~

(FUCK! YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!)

~Didn't need those fucking ears anyway!~

"Power of friendship, everyone..."
>>
>>39329458
Wait who was he getting married to
>>
>>39329670
>Flitter
~~~

>CURSES! He saw through my welfare scheme!.. Ah well at least the sex was nice.
>>
>>39329953
...Checks out.
>>
>>39329458
What is he even screaming at it's all white
>>
>>39330360
He’s seeing the stars of the show
>>
>>39330650
But nobody’s here yet… Oh
>>
File: My love 9.png (2.29 MB, 5024x3918)
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>>
>>39330875
One for the Coffer
>>
>>39330848
Yeah he can see through dimensions
>>
>>39330875
And thus, suicide
>>
>>39331417
>Starscream
“Pommel”
~~~~

>Fuck! YOUUUUU!

“Who are you even talking to!?”

>The lazy assholes who are waiting to debate!

“…what.”

>FUCK! YOUUUUUU
>>
>>39331806
>Auj
“Aj”
~~~


>… did ya’ll-

“Ah heard that!”
>>
>>39330875
New art for thread? Nice.
>>
>>39330875
Breaking down breaking down
>>
>>39330875
>… arrest me for murder

“It’s a tree.”

>Ah know what ah’ said!
>>
>>39330875
Is she documenting the kick power or how many people she took out with the shrapnel?
>>
>>39330875
It’s that look on her face where she knows she’s killed that which she loves most by accident.

A reminder of our mortality which she no longer shares, documented for all time by a servant who will die long before the paper she wrote it on withers away.

She has killed.

She will kill again.
>>
>>39330875
>…in fairness, ah knocked off all the apples.

“You sent them into the next county.”

>They could use some apples, they look peckish.

“They’re going to take it as a declaration of war.”

>And after Ah planted all those apples for humareitarian aide. Just goes to show you.
>>
>>39330875
>Applejack
“Celestia”
~~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

“You are a big mare now! Literally! Deal with it!”

>That there is the problem.

“What!?”

>Ah’m just wondering how ya deal with the fact everything is smaller and weaker than you.

“You kicked a hole in a tree, didn’t you?”

>Turned a healthy fruit into a cluster bomb.

“Look, all you need to know is you can walk over any problem, but it’s important to remember that they’re not beneath you because they’re worse, but made that way. You can hold an apple, hold your sister and hold a foes head between your hooves to crush it, all because you worked at it all your life without realizing it. Use that, learn, and adapt.”

>Huh, that there is some pretty good advice! Thanks!

“It is, admittedly, one thing I’m the premier expert on.”

>Sorry to bother you.

“It’s fine, just be glad you used voice only.

>… don’t tell me-

“Annnd.. now, someday, I will tell my child that yes, he or she was conceived during a question, and there is no escape.”

>Dang it, Shining! Last like two minutes longer next time!
>>
>>39332463
Oh my
>>
>???
~~~

From the shadows, he watched as hundreds of dreams flickered and changed - gawked as fractures shifted and expanded.

The Dreamscape was in flux on a scale the creature could never have imagined.

>How...?

He moved toward a fracture, leaning ever closer to peer within the light trickling out-

>Hmm.

But it closed in a blink.

Well, it might be more accurate to say that it simply moved.

Though that once impregnable wall, that thin yet so very sturdy veil which separates the waking world from this one, appeared to be breaking apart, the fractures didn't seem to come from an attack on the wall itself.

Instead, they came from the dreams. With each flicker, there is a shift - a conflict - as they pop in and out, unwittngly 'striking' at the wall and creating fractures that they carry with them in perpetuity.

>...Did the pony escape through one of them?

It might seem an odd question to ask as, in ordinary circumstances, one would assume a competent dreamwalker wouldn't need such an escape.

But the pony's circumstance was far from ordinary and he was even further from competent.

He was a novice - no, less than that - ignorant of something as basic as returning to one's own body. And though he seemingly managed to eventually do just that, the creature caught just enough of a glimpse at his exit to determine that how he did it wasn't exactly proper.

Far from it.

Who knows what that would spell for the pony, wherever he ended up?

More importantly...

>What will it spell for me?

Again, it approached a fracture, but waited a moment as another ripple passed over the Dreamscape. Said fracture remained, barely moved it at all, and the creature immediately reached out to it.

>Hrm.

Resistance was felt as his tendrils delved within the gap - barely managing a depth of one inch or two.

But it was enough to allow a sensation - one he could only describe as "real" - to tickle their tips.

>Hss!

Until another ripple coursed through the realm, and the fracture disappeared, forcing the tendrils back in an instant.

>Tsk... Well...

His gaze travels across the fracture filled dreamscape, thoughts turning to wonders of just how weak the veil will become.

>There's plenty more to explore.

And how he can exploit it.
>>
>>39332709
Oh fuck

29 you need to wrap this up
>>
>>39332463
~Hey! I don't critique how you impregnate mares!~

>Ah'm a dang mare mah'self.

~And that would've been among my various concrit, but as we've established.~
>>
>>39332829
>And now the nightmares are here
>Fuck it you can have the planet
>It sucks anyway
>>
>>39330875
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

And happy thanksgiving to you all, if I don't make it then!
>>
>>39333724
Same to you pal
>>
>>39333724
Soon now
>>
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she has the power to teleport through dimensions without changing into a human and meet her human form
>>
>>39334347
She looks upset, I would be too
>>
>>39334347
>Ah’m snootier

“Yer on!”
>>
>>39334347
>… ah wish ah had finger.

“Wish as was a horse.”

>”Life sucks”
>>
>>39334347
Happy Early Thanksgiving Applepost!
>>
>>39334347
>When you too royal for this shit
>>
>>39334347
Happy preskiving, /pa/l, and to the rest of you guys too. Enjoy your time with family!
>>
>>39334347
Finally, carried like the Queen she is
>>
>>39334347
>Nah that Caligula guy doesn’t seem like my type
>>
>>39335529
Deep cut
>>
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>>39334347
>mfw new artist in the thread
>>
>>39335975
Aw shit I thought that was you
>>
>>39334347
>>39335975
Day before thanksgiving art

It’s a not Christmas miracle!
>>
>>39334347
>>39335975
All apples are beautiful!
>>
>>39335975
She is slowly becoming Celly
>>
>>39335975
She’s PLUMP not chubby

She ain’t pipp
>>
>>39334347
>Tell me your secrets, tiny horse with wings.

"Ah' like apples."

>If only I understood your words!

"Reckon acnient romans don't know modern english all that well."
>>
>>39335975
She’s in Ancient Rome give her some leeway
>>
>>39335975
>Wow /pa/ why's your mom give you two artists
>>
>>39335975
That better be an Apple tablet.
>>
>>39335529
She’s the wrong gender anyway
>>
Happy thanksgiving pals!
>>
>>39337622
Same /pa/l
>>
>>39337826
Happy bird stuffing day all!
>>
>AJ
"Braeburn"
~Strongheart~
~~~

"Thanks for comin down to AAAAAAAPPPLOOOOOSAAA for the celebration, cuz! Feels like it's been a clean decade since we've seen each other."

>Ain't been that long...

"But it has been too long."

>Fair enough. Ah could stand to visit a bit more 'stead'a lettin' work keep me up in Canterlot.

~Regardless, it's wonderful that you and your friends could visit for the peace treaty anniversary.~

>Y'all think of a name for it, yet?

"Matter of fact, we have!"

~We've taken to calling it the Buffaloosan Peace Day of Gratefulness and Pie-baking!~

>Hmm.

"Needs work?"

>Ah was just thinking it could be shortened a bit.

"Ya mean to just Buffaloosan Peace Day? That's kind of a given."

>Maybe even shorter than that.

~But I feel the fact that we are grateful for peace and all we have is an important part of the name.~

"And the Pie-baking."

~That, too.~

>Grateful Day? Or Thanksgiving? You give thanks verbally and with pie baking?

"Eh."

~It doesn't quite carry the same feeling. No offense.~

>None taken...

"We'll workshop it! For now, let's just enjoy Buffaloosan Peace Day."

~And the lovely foods everyone has made.~

The Princess gives a nod as the two move toward the center of most everyone's attention: a large table, surrounded by buffalos and ponies, and adorned with various dishes.

For a time, she just watches the crowd, smiling as she picks up bits and pieces of lively conversations.

[...share...]

But a strange, familiar sound catches her attention - quiet, yet so oddly loud.

[...You gotta...]

She tilts her head, listening closely and trying to place where she's heard the voice before.

[...You gotta care...]

Then, like the hammer of a revolver, it clicks.

>Oh no...

And her gaze shoots toward the horizon.

[You gotta share...]

Her blood ran cold.

>No, no, no...

For approaching Appleloosa and its innocent, unwitting inhabitants was a cloud.

[You gotta care...]

A cloud of chaos.

>No, no, NO!

A cloud of laughter.

>EVERYONE! YA GOTTA-

[SHARE!]

A cloud of pink.

~~~~~

[Also, you should have said Pies-giving. Or Bakes-giving! It was right there! C'mon, mare!]

>Don't start, Pinkie...
>>
Bonus Pinkie cloud-only pic because I liked how it came out.
>>
>>39338326
Happy turkey day!
>>
>Cadence
"Tiempo"
~~~

"Do do do do doo. Da ba daaa-"

>Hey, Tiempo!

"Gah!"

>Whatcha doin'?

"Uh... I'm just making some food for tonight's dinner."

>Oh. You know you don't have to, right? We have chefs for that.

"Of course I know that. I just, well... thought I could pitch in? Maybe make something as a show of, you know, thankfulness?"

>Awwww! Look at you being all bashful!

"I'm not bashful!"

>Uh huh. But really, that's sweet of you. Especially since it has nothing to do with trying to bed Spitfire.

"I have other interests, you know."

>Like Chrysalis and Forty Two?

"Besides bedding mare!"

>I tease, I tease.

"Hmph."

>Anything I can do to help?

"...Uh..."

>What?

"Don't take this the wrong way, Cadenza, but... I've been warned about your cooking 'talent'."

>Oh, c'mon! I'm not THAT bad!

"They say you create literal monstrocities that have wrought havoc across the nation."

>That's totally an exaggeration! It's mostly just the castle.

"Hrrrmmm."

>C'mon! Please let me help? I won't get better unless I try.

"...Fine... It's a simple pudding recipe my mother made, so there's not a lot of room for error."

>Yay!

"First, I'll need you to just fill that pot up with water."

>Easy!

He watches with a bated breath as the mare fulfills her task without incident.

>See? I'm not totally hopeless.

"Mm."

~Tiempo?~

"Hmm?"

~If you see Cadence enter the kitchen, you...~

Spitfire freezes at the sight before her.

~Oh shit.~

>And now it's time for the paprika!

"What?!"

~CADDY NO-~

But it was too late.

[RAAAAGARABADA!]

~Damn it, Tiempo! You were warned!~

"I thought she could learn!"

~YOU! WERE! WAAAARRRNED!~

>C'mon, guys. It's not so-

[RAAGALLAH RAGCKBR!]

BOOM!

>...Ok... It's offensively bad...
>>
>>39338326
>Art and a story

You guys always deliver
>>
>>39338720
Be thankful
>>
>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
~Celestia~
^Two^'
=Flurry=
(18)
{42}
-Spitfire-
*Sombra*
#Mane-Iac#
$Poindexter$
_Tiempo_
%Sunburst%
~~~~

>At some point this table became more 'Still living tree' than furniture to hold food.

"Can you even see the ones in the back? I know we said we were going to cram them in, but this is more cram than in."

'We'll hear their echo before we hear them, HAH!'

~Good thing we have someone loud and grating to make ourselves heard on this end.~

'HA-hey.'

^Sissy's in the potatoes. Ah' dun mean the mashed ones. Well, they're mashed now, but they were just potatoes a bit ago.^

=WUBBAWUBBAUWBBB!=

(She was going to destroy something, so Forty Two said just to give her those. And... strangely it seems to have worked.)

{We are in an agreement regarding destruction. It cannot be so soft it breaks easily, yet not so tough it cracks. She wishes for the splat. This was the bargain made, bathed in the blood of the potato. It is... our victory.}

-Can I move seats? Somewhere far... far away from that.-

*Good luck shuffling this domino, one bad push and the whole thing is going on the ground.*

-You can move, you don't even need to eat.-

*I do, alternatively, like to live.*

#HAHAHAHHAHA! INDEEEEEEED! It would be MAAAADNESSS to inch closer to the Heir of Destruction!#

'Hey, Maney!'

#INSECTORIA! My friend!#

'You enjoying the meal?'

#INDEEEEEEEEDAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!#

'That's good.'

$I'm pretty toony myself and even I don't know how you can hear her.$

_Yeah, I was going to ask about this. Is this... magic? A state of being? A mind over matter thing? Why are you mostly comic book._

$Foolish sniveling flopheaded foal! I am POINDEXTER! The pestiferous personification of palpable plurality, born of two worlds and thriving in both! I am BRILLIANCE and MADNESS! AHHHHAHAHAHA!$

#AHHHHHAHAHAHHAAHHH!... It's good to laugh together!#

$INDEEEEEED$

_Uh... huh._

%Reminder that you chose this. You don't have to be here. I'm a royal crystaller, I have to be here for events, but you can still flee.%

_Oh please, if I can handle Princestia at her most fussy, I can handle this!_

%Wait, I thought Princestia was Two?%

_She is, why?_

%...what don't I know.%

1/2
>>
>>39339065

_That a kindergartner can and will suplex a full grown dragon if she gets the malleyshakes._

^AH' AIN'T GOTS A PROBLEM!^

-That one, she hears.-

(Also that sounds more like a milkshake made of... er-)

^GAAAASSSPPPP!^

-Too late.-

(I just want everyone to know I'm sorry.)

{We don't believe you.}

>Excuse me, everyone? Can I have your attention? I just wanted to ask for everyone to say what they're thankful for-

"Absolutely not."

'This is too long as it is!'

~But we do appreciate you thinking of us, Shining dear. Please, say your piece so we can eat before I turn two thousand.~

>Right right. Well, then I'm thankful we made it another year, together!... Mostly! And let us enjoy this meal together and... Cadence, what are you doing?

"Mixing my yams with the stuffing. What? I think it'll taste good."

>CADENCE NO!

"What's the problem-

GRRAAGGGHGHGHGHGHHH!

"H... How..."

'BATTLESTATIONS!'

(Paperwork monster, hear my call, to WAR!)

{To the death, I BRING MY POWER!}

=WOOOOBAH!=

~And here I thought this was going to be boring. This is why I spend today with you lot! Ha haaa!~

"HOW DOES THAT COUNT AS COOKING!?"

_You know, deep down... I think a part of me enjoys this._

%Scary, isn't it?%

_No psychiatrist will fix this._

"HOW DOES THAT COOOOOOUNT!?"

GRRRAHGGGGHHHH!
>>
>>39339069
Holy shit all of them fit
>>
>>39339268
It’s thanksgiving, it’s all about cramming
>>
Happy thanksgiving /pa/ls.
Apple Pone loves her family, don't you?
>>
>>39338326
Woooah here she come

Watch out colts, she'll chew you up
>>
>>39338326
THE
POWER
>>
>>39338326
I'm thankful for art and stories
>>
>>39339941
Same
>>
>29
"Delight'
'Luna'
~Trixie~
^Zecora^
+MM+
(Sombra)
{56}
-Halyomorpha-
~~~~

>And lo, we hath gathered for this meal most delicious, and company most grand.

"Wait, why am I here?"

>Thou art mine student, t'would be rude not to invite thee.

'Wait, why are WE here?'

>Thou art mine teacher, t'would be rude not to invite thee. That and thou does not have another family unit to latch thineself onto and mingle within.

'...Thou may speak truth, but thou does not have to make it hurt.'

~TRIXIE DEMANDS PIE!~

>Thou shalt have thine pie, later!

~TRIXIE! DEMANDS! PIE!~

^I only wish to have some of the corn. Go on, give me your scorn. But it tastes amazing and is so rich with butter! I do not care if you call me a nutter!^

>By grill or by water boiling most hot, I have sought to bring thee a lot. Thine corn is salted and seasoned most deep, it is the end result of a day with no sleep. Dine to your hearts content upon ears and bowl alike, for have no worries on how often hunger will strike.

^... eeee.^

+I'm just happy to be spending time with others this year. You know, instead of by myself... with the only meal being crackers and wine...+

(I don't even know how I got here or why I'm on the wrong continent, but one of you better hug me.)

>I shalt provide the hug for thee upon this day, have no worries of that. Thou shalt join us in gaining a fair bit of fat.

(I thank you and will be sure to give you an extra long reward for it.)

"...wait, what?"

>Hm? Oh! Sombra is cursed by the very souls of those he wronged so very long ago, a body that feels pain but not touch, that cannot taste but be burned, and one that can only be undone by the good deeds that will bring him light. Or since we're bathed in the light of good deeds ourselves, we can just hug him.

'Doy.'

~Seriously, even Trixie knows that!~

"...nevermind."

{I'm just happy I get to spend it with Moons!}

"Thou art supposed to have thine own seat instead of sharing ours."

{I'm good, thanks.}

"...so the kid just, openly molests Luna like that? All the time?"

>Tis not molestation, tis plot adoration, very different. He is far too young for uncouth thoughts, only the pure love of plot.

"You are so lucky you're not slightly older because this goes from adorable to something else real quick."

-Aw shucks, let the young'in have his fun! Ain't nobody gettin' hurt and that thar mare needs more ponies tellin' her how good lookin' she is, ya' are underrated!-

'We thank thee for thine kind words. See, why does thou not take after thine mother?'

>We tried to bed thee for ages.

'And look where that got thee!'

1/2
>>
>>39340241

-Ah' ain't hittin' on ya' like one of them types, but Ah' can call ya' pretty! Mah' orchard don't sway that way.-

+Please stop talking about that.+

~No no... go onnnnn.~

(Trixie please.)

~Trixie, Please!~

{I don't know what's going on and I don't care, where's the pie? Besides the awesome moon pie I'm snuggling, I mean.}

~TRIXIE DEMANDS PIE AGAIN!~

>Fine, fine, we did spend all morning cooking. Let me simply open this door and-

He opens the door to the kitchen, and is bathed in the flames that erupt out of it. As soon as it is shut, only the roar of the fire on the other side remains.

"...Did you forget to turn the oven off?"

>No, I did not.

"Ah... then... then why is the kitchen on fire?"

>Completely unrelated fire spirit of the dead.

"...comewhosaywhanow-"

The door explodes open in fire.

~MY PIES!~

^MY CORN!^

-Mah goodness he looks upset.-

Unseen by all, the crystal formerly evil king goes to one of the Changeling Communication Scarabs.

(Hello, Chimchums Chineighs? Do you do takeout today?... Wonderful. Just bring the left side of the menu, we have a lot to feed.)

'THOU SHALT DIEEEEE!'

{WHEEEE!}

>Cousin, let go so we may battle!

-Finally, some real family scraps! YEEEHAW!'

(Don't bother with the fortune cookies. We know our fate and are resigned to it.)
>>
>>39338326
I love that his hat only gets bigger to show dominance
>>
>Delight
"Vermillion" ~Dazey~
+Ember+ {AU-Two}
&Sunset& =Luna=
[29]
~~~
>Alright, everyone! Settle down so I can get the food out.

"This is a little awkward..."

>Well, if I can't spend the day with my parents - who I absolutely will NOT be calling into a war zone - then I'm gonna make the best of it with you guys.

~Us, I get, but why'd you invite the damn changelings, too?~

###[Hey!]###

~The ones trying to kill us.~

$$$$Hey!$$$$

~Oh, sod off, you bellends!~

>It was less of an invitation and more of a 'don't mess things up and you'll get free food' compromise.

{As if we would compromise with you ponies, let alone over something we can't even eat.}

>See? She says that, but tell 'em it's free and they trip all over themselves to get a seat at the table.

{You lie! I did not rush over here the moment that disgusting scent of pony food hit my nostrils! I am merely curious as to how agonizing your death will be when you eat it!}

=We think the changeling doth protest too much.=

{I do not! I protest the adequite- adekit- the RIGHT amount!}

"And now I'm reminded that I have to fight a child..."

{I wouldn't call that a fight. It was more like a spanking with how badly you were losing.}

"Careful, child, unless you'd like Regalia to hand you a real spanking."

+Enough talk, let's eat! I want four diamonds, two rubies and one emerald, NOW!+

>We don't have any gems.

+Fine! Gimme some bits to eat.+

>Don't have those either.

+What am I supposed to eat, then?!+

>Some mashed potatos topped with butter? They taste better than melted gold.

With a disbelieving huff, the dragoness swipes a large bowl of the buttery gold substance from him.

+Nom! Mrrm... Mmm? MmmMMMMM!+

~If you're done with the bowl, wanna pass 'em to-~

+MINE!+

~Faustdamned dragons!~

>Don't worry, Dazey, there's more bowls where that came from. Courtesy of today's sponsor: Pink Pony Catering! Whether it's a rainy day, full of sunshine, or the entirety of reality is threatening to fall apart at any moment, you can rest assured knowing that Pink Pony Catering will be there to serve you your last meal!

&Seriously? An ad plug?&

=We thought it was good!=

&Of course you do, Ms. 'Monetizes Dreams'. Which, by the way, should be a war crime.&

>Nice of you to join us, Ms. Shimmer. Do you want corn cob or corn bread?

&Fuck you.&

>I'm saving myself for marriage.

&Fuck you! And FUCK YOU, Seven!&

#I didn't say any-#

&FUCK! YOU! Fuck all of you """good""" guys! When this is over, I'm going to enjoy making sure each and every one of you has zero, absolute ZERO, chance of reincarnating into whatver world Chitania finally makes her own! Bank on it!

...

&Twenty Nine's cool, though.&

[Thank thee?]

>So...? Food?

&...Pumpkin pie, please.&

>It's apple.

&FUCK YOU, APPLEJACK!&

>...

&...I'll take two slices.&
>>
>>39340251
>>39340258
>Both stories featuring 29 and Delight

...what a weird coincidence.
>>
>>39340258
>&Twenty Nine's cool, though.&
This is what happens when you show her basic kindness when she's fucked up.
>>
>>39338326
Fear her speed
>>
Hope you all had a happy thanksgiving
>>
>>39340960
Same to you pal
>>
>>39340473
She’s not hard to please but the timing is a bitch
>>
>>39341416
Roll the dice
>>
>>39340258
> &FUCK YOU, APPLEJACK!

I want that song!
>>
>>39341975
Someday
>>
>>39340258
&Seriously, Seven, fuck you. FUCK YOU.&

#Oh my-#

&WITH A RAZORBLADE!&

#Ah.#
>>
>>39334347
INTO
>>39335975
THE WIKI
>>39338326
IT GOEEEEEESSSSSS

Back from thanksgiving trips and happy to see you guys provided!
>>
>>39342748
>Seven
"Sunset"
~~~

>Why ME in particular!? Spike shot Chitania!

"Oh no yeah, fuck that guy too."

>DT exploded Fizzle!

"Not a fan of her."

>PENNYDROP IS A THING!

"Well obviously you're lower on the list than her."

>SO WHY ME!?

"Because FUCK! YOUUUUUUUU!"

>...this is just because I didn't get hospitalized-

"Well obviously."
>>
>>39342844
"How did Chitty let you survive!?"

~~~

~...wait, do we hate this guy? I was unconscious and dying with black shit in my mouth. Do I hate this guy? I don't know this guy.~
>>
>>39342941
~I'm willing to hate on principal though.~
>>
>>39342844
>Can I get this hate list please so I know where I stand on things?

"Sure, you're fourth down."

>FOURTH!?

"Well, there's Pennydrop."

>Obviously.

"Applejack."

>Hard to get around her.

"Rarity."

>She did nuke you.

"You."

>Sure, sure.

"Spike."

>How am I higher than Spike?!

"You caught Spike from dying, so..."

>...

"Want to know how far down Celestia is? The number will surprise you."
>>
>>39343587
>Is it down low?

"I have surprisingly little problems with her outside of all of this being ALL YOUR FAULT!"

~I KNOOOOWWWWWWW!~

>...

"She knows."
>>
>>39343725
Stop, she's already dead
>>
>>39343913
Literally
>>
>>39344127
Well, sort of. The she wasn't/

Gods are complicated.
>>
>>39342941
~No seriously I don't know which one he is.~

>EXACTLY!

~So he's free to be deleted.~

>...wai
>>
>>39344534
Should’ve kept being ignored
>>
>>39344772
The temptation to talk is a strong one
>>
>>39343913
We might not be able to get her back from the other universe
>>
>>39345467
>They can't hurt me on this side
>>
>>39345771
They just did
>>
>>39344534
>Nobody knows who PJ's kid's father is
>>
>>39346349
>PJ
~

>And that's when he's around! Eheheheh... oh no I'm bad.
>>
>AJ
"AB"
~~~

>...how do we still have leftovers?

"Fucking Thanksgiving."

>BLOOM!

"Fragging thanksgiving."

>Don't you be confusin' me, Ah' freighten easily and kick!
>>
>Ember
"MM"
~~~

>So are we just... letting them chat? No sneak attacks?

"Not very sporting."

>They're trying to destroy the world!

"And talking it out has a great track record, so..."

>Count all the times you needed to use a magic instant win rainbow.

"Okay."

>Now count all the times they just talked.

"..."

>Which is higher on the win?

"..."

>Which is higher!?

"...okay, I'm not going to endorse it, buuuut I guess I can't stop you, so..."

>That's what I like to hear, technicalities!
>>
>>39347215
>Ember
"MM"
~~~

>So anyway... who the fuck are you?

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself."

>...what.

"My name was Mayor Mare, but I'm a Mayor no longer, so now I wonder... am I just a mare?"

>....that's fucking stupid.

"It's symbolic, ponies change their names-"

>Fucking stupid!

"...kinda is yeah."
>>
>>39347627
>Unlike us, we're all about fire, which is awesome.

"What about Garble?"

>...shut the fuck up.
>>
>>39347915
Or Sludge
>>
>>39347215
>Ember
"Derpy"
~~~~~

>You agree we should burn her alive, right?

"I mean I'm generally not for burning ponies, but this one is pretty evil.:"

>Exactly, pretty evil. So, fire.

"Maybe just, I don't know, kill her quick?"

>WHOA!

"What?"

>I said I wanted to burn her ALIVE, not kill her!

"..."

>You're messed up. You got problems.

"...huh."
>>
>>39348420
Derpy has found the darkness in her own heart.
>>
>>39348701
She probably likes it
>>
>>39348934
Without sin, first stone…
>>
>>39348420
Hey at least she’s providing suggestions
>>
>>39349474
Right? Team spirit!
>>
>>39348420
>Ember
"Cloudchaser'
~~~

>Can you believe her?

"We're not doing this."

>What?

"The whole "You say that to me, who is worse, and I accidentally reveal it in a comic mishap", we're not doing that."

>...what.

"Look, dragon baby, what you need to learn about comedy is it needs to be unexpected! A twist! I'm obviously coocoo, there's no joke there, the joke is you being oblivious and that gets old real quick. How long can you stretch out not knowing I regularly and happily endanger ponies? Not long! You need some pizazz! Something unexpected!"

>Oh, okay.

With that, she cocks back her claw and punches cloudchaser in the face.

>Was that unexpected enough?

"...you son of a bitch, I'm in."

>In what?

"A concussive state you asshole FUCK THAT HURT!"
>>
>>39350220
Had her shot and took it.
>>
>>39350383
Gotta give her that.
>>
Hooo this post thanksgiving mess was fun, but 29 is going to hash things out tomorrow. Wish him luck.
>>
>>39350976
>29
"Sunset"
~~~

>So, hear me out...

"..."

>...you know you're gonna lose.

"...I know..."
>>
>>39351096
Sunset has been hurt enough to know
>>
>>39350976
>29
"Sunset'
~~~

>Sooooooo... have a good thanksgiving?

"You saw that too?"

>Pretty sure it was another dimension punch."

"We might be leaning on that too hard."

>Wait for the next holiday-

>"Chrisheathwarmingmas"

>...

"...awww, shit."
>>
>>39351607
>29
"Sunset'
~~

>Can we just settle this with sex?

"...reeeeal high opinion of yourself, eh?"

>More hoping the disgust would turn you off, but since you haven't run off, I still have a chance!
>>
>>39351801
>Delight
~~~~~

>Wait is that how that works.

...

>So many missed opportunities.
>>
>>39348701
Derpy is just too pure to realize her horror
>>
>>39351801
He has a good track record
>>
>>39352585
Not a lot of complaints no
>>
>>39352585
Just a short one
>>
>>39352696
Still, she would know
>>
>>39353468
True
>>
>>39352057
Quitters don’t get the gold
>>
>Spike
"DT"
~~~~

>Props for trying to explode her.

"No points for half measures, Spike."

>I am the judge of my own points and I says it counts, you can divvy out your own as you see fit.

"My points cancel out yours, that's how Pointy they are. Stab right to the heart of a concept."

>Well my points are rounded, so they just let your points roll off and remain strong.

"Well my points are well aimed so they always hit their mark and that means they always stab right to the heart of the matter!"

>WELL MY POINTS-

~~~~Seconds later~~~

~...was that an explosion in the distance?~
>>
>>39354300
Glorious
>>
>>39354300
>When you remember they’re not tiny adults
>>
Family emergency guys, I drove two hours and have been gone all day, doubt I’ll make it home tonight at a reasonable time to post Sunset Vs 29. Just wanted to give a heads up, such is life. Just know it’s nothing serious now, and I’ll be posting the full story tomorrow
>>
>>39355087
RATS
>>
>PJ
"Jetset"
~~~

>Just so we're clear-

She says, slicing her magical blades through another Queen's wing

>-they do know that chitchat or no, we're still fighting, right?

"I've learned that individuals have a hard time focusing on two things, if they're dropouts."

>Dropout of what?

"It depends."

He says, popping out of the ground and uppercutting a Queen.

"Dropout of the academy to go chase some princess tail, dropout of battle in order to watch some talk, or drop out of sanity in order to hide away from the horrors of the world."

>...this all sounds very specific.

"It's not, worryingly enough. This applies to so... so many."

>Uh huh.

"Your coltfriend just got punched."

>OH NO!

"..."

>Wait, but he looks fine.

"I just wanted you to admit it."

>I mean technically we're not, like, a thing, but I don't want him to get hurt. Dude's cool, I like him, do stuff with him.

"Please keep that to yourself."

>Don't be jealous because I'm not letting you hit it.

"I would never do that with a changeling."

>Wow, racist.

"I am."

>Wow, okay, wow.

"I have a changeling friend, it's okay."

>...you're not gonna let go of that one, are you?

"Never. Unlike this."

He said as he dropped a Queen into the other changeling's swinging blades.

>...I see why you like him.

"I said I had a changeling friend, not that I was friends with one."

>Don't think it works like that-

"La la laaaaaa, spontaneous song, curse being a pony."

>...heh. You know how to pick'em, don't you?
>>
>>39355181
Weirdly heartwarming
>>
>>39355181
New friend!
>>
>>39355706
At least there’s no abductions
>>
>>39354300
I think DT lost.
>>
>>39356149
Boom means win
>>
>>39356371
Or loss.
Or tie.
Or she felt like it.
>>
>>39356537
D


Oh my
>>
>>39356537
This guy gets her
>>
>>39355181
Did Jetset just tease her?
>>
>>39357799
>Jetset
"Diamond Tiara"
~~~

>I don't do teasing, I leave that to the lesser life forms.

"HEY!"

>...excuse me?

"As a former bully, I'll have you know that teasing is a foundation you need to lay upon psychological attacks! If you don't have a basis before you fire off, otherwise they just break too easily! Teasing is an art!"

>Teasing is what you use when you can't get to the point right away, one line should be more than enough to destroy them. If it isn't, then you need to elevate yourself, as clearly you're the one failing.

"What's the point of being a bully if you just end it in one line!? Then you might as well be doing something productive instead!"

>That one line should send them on a path either of giving up on their failures or improving themselves, that is productive. If you're not doing this to better them, what's the point?

"The point is that they'll shake it off unless you use the teasing to cut off the outs for themselves!"

>...

"..."

>We should compare notes.

"I think we have philosophical differences."
>>
>>39357983
What a weird pairing I didn’t know I wanted
>>
>>39358206
Super serious Vs Super Smug.
>>
>>39357983
>Spike
"Jetset"
'DT'
~~~

>You both seem like assholes.

"That is generally how lessers view those who are better than them."

>...

"See? One line."

'But then he's just going to snap back with something.'

>The only thing you're better at is being a jerk.

'See? Now he's going to feel smug, even though you could reply with "I'm also better at comebacks" or something.'

"I could, but why would I argue further?"

'Because then he walks away feeling like he won, otherwise!'

"And?"

'Okay, now you suck at bullying.'

"I'm getting a rise out of you just fine."

'...'

>Oooooo, he's good.

'..Sexy, kill them all.'
>>
>>39358639
The art
>>
~~~~~~

"You're doing great convincing so far."

The changeling would admit to himself, and to his grave that would be the only one, that perhaps it had not been the best of starts to his attempt to reach the alicorn before him.

It might deter another, yet for the changelings, failing horribly at the start was the closest to normalicy he will ever know.

"I shalt not waste mind words weaved more beautifully with the threads of wit, not when thou continues thing folly most twisted!"

She gave a slight applause, though her face held only amusement at his posturing.

"Real convincing there, totally buy it."

"And why would thou not? Surely thou can see the horrors of what thou hath brought!"

"Yep."

One word, and he was ground to a halt.

"...Eh?"

"I told you, I know what I'm doing. Fully aware of all this, yeah."

Time ticked away until what built within him could be held in no longer, and erupted forth like a spew of venom from a cobra.

"It cannot be!"

She would have been taken aback, had any of that vile been spat towards her. Strangely, instead, it was as if he looked beyond her, to someone off in the distance that even she could not see.

"Thine mind may have been twisted with claws of darkness so vile, yet they will not hold! Mine power may not be of the highest of mine kind, yet with determination in mine heart I shall overcome any obstacle! BEHOLD!"

The sky became ablaze with fire once more. A flame not of emerald, yet not of Rainbow either, a fire that seemed to mingle with an unearthly and unnatural light that none below could properly describe. It was as if they gazed into the beyond for the briefest of moments, a glimpse into the world beyond and all of its majesty and beauty. A world that lashed out, and crashed down upon the head of the alicorn herself.

Yet, she remained unmoved when it passed.

"...huh."

In the wake of the spell, the changeling was left blinking and wanting.

"I could've just told you this wasn't mind control or something."

The once student in turn almost seemed sympathetic to him, not a trace of anger or disdain to be found. Nor was there any trace of injury or discomfort.

"Not a bad strike, though, even a Prime level Queen would've had to strain themselves and reveal it if there was anything there.'

She was so casual, so calm, that it was almost an insult to the one floating before her.

"But yeah, this is all just me. I'm not being manipulated or anything."

Finally, he could take no more, and snapped.

"But that's stupid!"

He held nothing back, restraint nothing more than a figment of the past.

And yet, to it all, she just shrugged.

"Is it? This all makes sense to me. Makes more sense than anyone who does something different is under mind control, or something."

His forelegs gyrated wildly, gesturing this way and that to the battle all around.

"Thou knows thou art being used in some... attempt at godhood!"

"Right."

"Thou knows thou brings war, and strife!"

"Par for the course."

1/
>>
>>39359184

"Thou knows that this is all because of the pain thou suffered that would cloud any judgement!"

"Didn't suddenly forget all that stuff, no. Am well aware what happened with Applejack and Pennydrop deeply colored this, yeah. And sure, I'm aware that if those events hadn't happened, I probably would do something different. Doesn't really change things, but they happened."

Her dismissal did little to deter him, for he had one more thing to point out.

"But! But most importantly!"

With stiff, shaking arms, he gestured to the nearest changeling Queen.

"Thou knows thou art bringing forth the undead evils who once sought to rule the world!"

That one, at least, got an apologetic nod out of her. It wasn't much, yet compared to the dismissive shrugs of before, it was akin to a drink of water in the most scorching of deserts.

"Honestly I didn't really want them, but without them the Hivemind power she's using doesn't work, so I guess they have to live. Besides, Chitty likes them, for some reason, and really wanted them alive, so..."

It made it all the more painful when the shrug returned.

"Regardless of my own feelings on changeling Queens, and I have quite a lot of those, point is that making a world that is as it should be involves bringing them back, so it's a price I'm willing to pay."

Both his hooves flew up in the grandest, yet prissiest show of indignation he had ever given.

"Thou art literally acting in contrast to the interests of thine own species!"

She didn't say anything, not out loud at least.

The eyebrow she raised, and the slight tilt of her gaze up and down his form, spoke loud enough to bring him down in shame.

"Alright, got me there."

Even he could admit the irony of that, even if it wasn't enough to stop the fire from rising again.

"But the rest of mine point stands, none of them would give thee a spit of water should thou become ablaze!"

"Correct. But they wouldn't do it for each other, either. Or themselves, honestly, they have a pretty destructive self track record. I mean the odds are history is just going to repeat itself."

"How is that better!?"

"For me?"

She shrugged, and the act was beginning to start something inside of him he'd rather not let set ablaze. Sensing this, she gave him the smallest of concessions she could offer.

"I mean, I'm aware them being in charge isn't great."

"Thou speaks of a bucket in an ocean!"

"But, on the other hoof... it's better than the alternative."

He opened his mouth, only to be silenced with a wave of her hoof.

"To me, personally."

"Personally!?"

"Well, yeah... why do you think I'm doing this? Did you think I was under some delusion this was better for the whole world or something? Like I was being lied to that this was going to make a perfect world or something? A world without strife or some kind of nonsense?"

Silence, and shock, were all that came in answer to her words.

"Oh... you did, didn't you?"

2/?
>>
>>39359188

Once more, he could not find the words to respond, his throat would not allow his saddened words to come free.

"Guess that is just like you, huh?... You thought I was just hurt, lashing out, and maybe a bit of talking to could still turn me around, right?"

He didn't admit it out loud.

His face gave it all away, all the same.

"Ahhh... this makes more sense. Still think I'm just being used at the end of it, don't you?"

"...thou are not this cruel."

If there was any offense on her part, she hid it well. Her sigh instead seemed almost pitying, just on the edge of sadness.

"Hoo boy... look, Twenty Nine..."

She approached him, and despite the hesitation he felt, he did not act when she placed her hooves on the sides of his shoulders.

"You're a good guy, no matter what anyone says, okay?"

Her words did not bring the comfort it could have, nor did it get the response she wished for.

"But sometimes you get obsessed with this idea of... lost souls."

He perked up, staring her right in the unwavering eyes that bored down on him. His stare may have been intense, yet it was not enough to even make her waver.

"I'm not saying your wrong, not all the time at least. Not even most of the time, even. When I met you last time... I was lost, and it meant the world to me that you'd show me kindness, that you'd help me out. It meant even more you didn't hold it against me after I fought Trixie, you being willing to give me a chance after that... it meant a lot to me. But sometimes..."

With a sigh, she looked off into the distance.

"Sometimes it's not just someone being in a bad situation, or needing someone to reach out at the right time. Sometimes it's just... this being the best for me, personally, and well... I'm willing to fight for it."

That seemed to say it all, no matter how much it hurt the one she held onto.

"I know, I know, you want me to be mind controlled, or manipulated, or this is all one big misunderstanding that revealing just the right thing is going to fix. Then you'll do your big song and dance and we'll be better for it, and then..."

She trailed off, as if she herself could not imagine anything beyond that.

"...but in that world, I'm an ex-student who most of the population doesn't like, missing a foreleg, scarred and wounded, and just desperate to hope that nobody tries to attack the ones I care about. And that's not going to change, is it?"

He wanted to offer a response, wished deeply to argue against it, yet he could not find the words.

"Best case scenario, they don't care about me after a couple years, worst case they remember that I'm evil or something and I spend my whole life scraping by. You might be willing to help me out in that world... but do you really thing I'm willing to live in it?"

He had so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to offer, to give, yet she would not let him before she continued on.

3/?
>>
>>39359193

"But in this world, Chitania is looking out for me, I'm healed, I'm not just a student but someone who can actively use the resources the princesses horded to make the world better. I'm an alicorn, my friends are successful... it's everything I ever could've wanted, and more."

He couldn't argue that.

"I know you wish I would help you, that I'd see the light and realize that you're fighting on the side of good and me on the side of evil, and honestly... I don't know if I can argue you. I know I'm fighting so that Chitania can rule the universe, for better or worse on what that means for all of you. I know I'm acting against the ponies, my own race, by allowing her to revive the Changeling Queens. I get that, I do... but..."

Not when she looked at him with those eyes.

"You get this is... it, right? For me, I mean. This is it. For me, for them, my friends. This is my only chance of achieving my potential, what I truly can be."

When he finally spoke again, it came out a weakened croak.

"Is this really the best you can be?"

The words stuck true, powerful enough to shake her grip, to make her reel back in uncertainty.

He only wished it lasted longer than a moment.

"Maybe, maybe not... but it's the best I can make of it."

A moment longer, and he might've had hope.

"I get why you're fighting. I understand that, Twenty Nine. I'd fight too, if I was in your place, probably. You've got those you want to fight for, those you want to protect and save, I get it. It's one of the reasons why I like you so much, you silly bug."

She tapped him on the side of the head in a way that should have come off as condescending. Instead, it felt oddly genuine.

"I'm not holding it against you for fighting me. I'm not mad, I don't feel betrayed, I get it. I get why you'd do this. Because it's the same reason you let some broke criminal mare crash at your place when the whole world wanted her locked up or tossed up until she was out of sight. You care, I get it, and I respect it. I'm not going to ask you to switch sides or something like that, we both... made our choice, looks like."

It all sounded so plain, so real, yet it left his head spinning. He kept trying to think of another way, another offer, another thing to reveal that might change her mind, to end this conflict before it became something truly out of control.

"You've got those you'd do anything for... I've got mine."

Her eyes glanced over briefly to the battle raging beside them, one that made the earth quake when a dragon struck an ursa major across her jaw.

"Both here... and up there."

She jerked her head upwards, to quell any question as to whom she meant.

"...there must be some way."

He muttered to himself, unable to keep it inside. She heard every word, and looked upon him with her understanding eyes.

4/?
>>
>>39359197

"Maybe there is, and I just can't think of it. But, from where I'm standing, I doubt anyone down here or up there is rooting for me to have this kind of life on your side of the fence. Me, or the others. The dragon who was disregarded, the soldier who was betrayed, the daughter who lost her mother, all of them have something in this life they'd fight for with all their hearts that they could never go back to in the world they came from. I wish, I wish, there was some middle ground... but it doesn't look like it, does it? We're just on opposite sides, in the end."

He almost wished she'd fought him cleanly, no blows she could rain upon him could hurt his chest this much.

"And hey... maybe you guys will pull out a win. I'm not so crazy to think I've already won and it's impossible for you guys to turn it around. Maybe you'll win and beat me, once and for all."

"I don't want that."

She shook. He felt it in her hooves, he saw it in her face. That had left a mark, strong as any scar she had gained.

"I know you don't, big guy. You don't want to hurt me, you don't want to beat me. And hey, to be fair, you probably won't."

She tried to look cocky, in vain.

"But if you do... guess that's just how it has to happen."

"Does thou even hear thine words!?"

He snapped up, grabbing her so tightly she could not escape.

"One of us could die from this! We could be lost, forever!"

Despite the fear in her words, she held none for herself.

"Ahhhh, don't worry about that. If something happens to you, Chitty will just bring you back."

"And why would thou think that?!"

"She did it to your mom, didn't she?"

He froze, his eyes snapping to hers, searching her with a sight more keen than even the most dedicated of changelings could manage.

He found it in seconds, his answer.

"Yeah... that was me. Same reason Marey and Zecora and Trixie still remembered you, in this world. I, well... I didn't ask Chitania directly, but she knew... she knew."

She looked back at him, and he felt an unease in his heart.

"Don't you like having your mother back?"

An unease that was earned when her striking comment landed upon his very soul.

"Don't you like having her around? Being with you, happy?"

"Thou knows I do..."

He tried to sound a growl, yet it came out a low and pathetic rumble.

"I made sure she was in a nice place, didn't I? She's happy, isn't she?"

"...I believe she is."

He looked away, and it earned him an almost sympathetic laugh from the pony.

"Hey hey hey, I just told you I'm not holding this against you, right? I get it, you're going to fight them, fight me, and that won't change anything. If you win, I guess it goes back to the way it was. Which isn't perfect for you, but it works, right? And if I win, regardless... you get to have your mother back. No grudge, no hate."

His lips tensed, sweat appearing on his brow.

"And regardless, you can come see me sometime like you did before."

5/6
>>
>>39359203

Those words were a whisper, personal, as if to ensure none listening heard them.

"I did miss spending time with you."

Just for him, and no other in this world.

"...thou can still be a hero."

"I already am."

"Thou can make up for all that thou hath done."

"If I'm going to waste my life, I'd rather it be fighting for a world that I can believe in."

"Thou can still-"

"Shhhh."

She placed a hoof on his lips, and he knew. Even before she said it, he knew.

"It's okay. I know, what you wanted and hoped for."

It was over.

"But it's not going to work. I'm sorry... you can't change my mind, and never will."

He looked to her, tears in his eyes, the pain of failure in his heart.

"Just tell me something?"

He did not nod, he did not move, he only listened.

"When this all over, if you guys somehow pull a win out of your rainbow tails once more... promise me you won't hate me?"

With dry lips and a rasping breath, he answered her.

"... to this, I swear. I shalt never hate thee, as long as I live."

And with her smile, she knew.

"Thanks. And thanks... for being there for me."

With the raising of her hoof, it was done.

"Now brace yourself, we need to make this look good so nobody tries to pull some suspicion on you.

His failure was complete when she struck him with a magical hoof, and rocketed him back down to earth.

He fell, fully aware of just how little he had done, still flush with the sting of knowing he could not sway her, and would not. Friendship could not save her, caring could not move her.

No one could change her mind.

"TWENTY NINE!"

The friends of his who had been watching rushed to his side, a warm sight that would have brought a smile to the alicorn's face on any other day.

Today was not that day.

"You know, he said he's not going to hate me..."

She brushed a hoof to her chest, yet the feeling beneath it did not go away.

"But I'm sure he's going to be pretty steamed at me all the same-"

Her words were drowned out by a beam of light, one that missed her by the slimmest of margins. So powerful was the attack, she felt the fur that should have been shielded begin to smoke from the sheer heat alone.

“Guess that answers that…”

From the cloud of dust down below, he emerged. The changeling, and his friends at his side. Charging upwards, ready to battle, words tossed aside.

“It’s alright.”

She held no anger, nor hate, when they clashed against her shield.

“Chitty can undo all of this. We’ve almost won…”

In the distance, the cracks upon the Tree of Harmony grew wider.

“And then everything can be perfect again.”

With them, their final victory drew ever closer.
>>
>>39359184
Finally! I was worried that wasn’t coming
>>
>>39359207
>Friendship failed
Huh
>>
>>39359207
Solid effort, bug, now punch.
>>
>>39359207
Can I just say I like that Sunset just accepts her fucked up situation and doesn’t hold a grudge?
>>
>>39359207
>Power of Friendship Successfully Failed
>>
>>39359207
>MM
"29"
~~~

>...so did I hear that right and does that imply-

"LESS TALK MORE PUNCH"
>>
>>39359207
I'm digging the idea the debate might not work, Altlestia might legit fail.
>>
>>39359207
>Spike
"DT"
~~~

>I reeeallly hoped talking it out would work.

"Hahhhh, you had hope."
>>
>>39359826
Silly drake
>>
>>39360082
Hopes are for kids
>>
>>39360311
Wait
>>
>>39359207
Poor guy
>>
>>39360891
He has indeed had a rough day
>>
>>39359207
>Jetset
“Seven”
~~~

>Called it.

“You did not!”

>Power of friendship is less than power or bearings, proven.

“…”

>Not a word.
>>
>29
"Sunset'
~

>IT IS SO WEIRD I'M A CHANGELING FIGHTING FOR THE DEATH OF MY RACE AND YOU'RE A PONY FIGHTING FOR THE SUBJUGATION OF YOUR RACE!

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"I KNOW RIGHT!?"

BOOM
>>
>>39362081
>IT'S EVEN WEIRDER BECAUSE I GET MY MOM BACK IF I LOSE!

"REALLY FIGHTING AGAINST OUR SPECIES AND PERSONAL INTERESTS HERE!"

>ITS SO WEIRD!
>>
>>39362326
>Marey
~~~~

>… am I supposed to know what the fuck is going on?
>>
>>39362682
>MM
"Zecora"
~Trixie~
~~~~~

>So you know what's going on?

"I assumed they knew each other, though from where I do not know. Perhaps there is something I missed in the show?"

~SHE SENT TRIXIE TO PRISON!~

>That was the guards because of mistaken identity.

~It's still her fault!~

"It is her fault, that is an odd thing to consider. Is he giving friendship to the highest bidder?"

~Can't be, Trixie owes him enough money that he could likely take her to court and legally own her by the end of it. Full on shackles and everything.~

>...

"..."

~Trixie still has a gambling problem and all her legs.~

>...one problem at a time.
>>
>>39362778
>Sunset just has to offer to clear her gambling debts
>>
>Spike
"DT"
~~~

>If they win when we lost, I will be so pissed.

"RIGHT!?"
>>
>>39363414
Luna would be more pissed.
>>
>>39363747
>If it looks like he wins... we fire.
>>
>>39364004
No one will blame her
>>
>>39364402
Oh, they will,, they just won’t hold it against her
>>
>>39364632
She just doesn’t have to admit it
>>
>>39364632
They got other things they wanna hold against her
>>
>>39365606
Oh my
>>
>>39365606
>Delight
"Vermilion"
~~~~

>Damn right, there's something I wanna hold against her.

"..."

He wiggles his eyebrows.

"..."

Gestures down.

"..."

Gestures down harder.

"..."

Gestures down the hardest.

"..."

She looks down.

"..."

He's holding a starlight coat filled with magic.

"..."

And it has an OK sign on it.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
>>
>>39366069
Gottem
>>
OOCO?
>Delight
"Raven"
~Bubbles~
~~~

"Delight!"

>Hey... Rav-

"Oh Faust above - is the Tree dead?!"

>Nice to see you, too...

"No jokes! Just answers!"

>I wasn't jo-

Whap!

>Ow.

"No! Jokes!"

>C'mon Ray-Ray... That paper's a deadly weapon in my state...

"It's a curse! Unlimited paperwork in the afterlife unless you give me answers!"

>Well shit...

"Delight!"

>Shes not dead.

"Is that true or are you just trying to keep me from freaking out?"

>You're already freaked out...

"I will papersmack you, Delight! Don't test me!"

>No... She's still holding on... If she was dead... I don't think the Giant Timberwolf pulling me back from the edge of certain death would have its glowing, Harmony Magic'd paw on me...

"Her."

>Her. Pardon my assumption, Miss Giant Timberwolf.

~It OK.~

>...So, either I'm delirious from the poison or-

"She can talk, yes. And she has a name."

~Me am Bubbles.~

>...Hello, Bubbles...

~Hello.~

>You know... I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I mean, I can make gravity-defying clothes, so if you can use Harmony's magic to heal anyone, I guess it can let you talk, too.

~Strange magic not reason why me can talk.~

>Uh-

"Seven did it."

>Uhh-

~It long story.~

"And very illegal."

>Ah... Well, the nurses I get tend to be more... petite and pony-shaped, but... I'm thankful someone just as cute is helping me out.

~Oh, you are welcome!~

"Delight! Don't hit on the timberwolf when the only chance we have at saving reality is dying!"

>Does that mean-

"No! All cases of hitting on timberwolf apply!

>My heart... It's breaking apart, Ray-Ray.

"Now you know how reality feels!"
>>
>>39366460
~Me am fine with being hit on, but me am size of house. Would crush you.~

>Have you ever heard of SnuSnu?

~Buttercup mention that all the time...



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