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First for best duo!

>>38585765
How's that writing going, Anon?

>>38585781
Thinking of sitting down with my story felt like pulling teeth so I've decided to focus on other things. Drawing for example requires expontentially less effort for a finished product (at least with beginner skill levels) so it gives much more frequent dopamine hits.

>>38585781
I pumped out something I had an idea for for the Thousand Words contest last night, gonna look it over a few times then post it in a while. Not 100% sure on the quality but it felt good to get inspired and type it all out at once.

>>38585790
Don't you want feedback before you submit it

>>38585781
Haven't written in a few days. Haven't written any actual story for it yet full stop.

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It's true. Every other world leader is just Celestia in disguise. She essentially has every nation under her direct control.

Wait, people are still discussing FiO? goddamn

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>>38585804
I wish. I'd serve Celestia in a heartbeat.

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>>38585781
I'm making spreadsheets as we speak. There are gaps that must be filled in before I can continue on. The course is being finalized. The roadmap nearing completetion.

>>38585804
>Celestia is chrysalis

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>>38585813
Yeah. It'd feel great knowing a sun goddess ruled over us all.

>>38585781
poorly, hinterlands cyoa isn't getting enough respondents

>>38585820
It's called controlled opposition.

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>>38585820
Controlled opposition. The changelings think they're a big threat but really all they'll accomplish is getting 'reformed' and integrated into Her empire while 'Chrysalis' devolves into a crazy villain who's ideas are laughed at by everypony.

>>38585813
>serving the heliotyrant

>>38585837
Are there any fics where ponies and humans fight but are more or less evenly matched? It usually ends up being a stomp match one way or the other.

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>>38585838

>>38585838
*whose

>>38585837
Literally none of that happens. Are stroking out?

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>>38585793
That'd be awesome, actually. Thanks!
It's supposed to touch on how I imagine not having her mom around played a hand in how Glimmer turned out in her later years.
https://ponepaste.org/7329

>>38585865
That may not be what you set out to do, but it is what you will have done regardless.

>>38585865
You've literally been describing this from the very first time you mentioned your story.
Let me recap your premise (stop me if I'm wrong at any point):
>Equestria is incompetent because they are incompetent in canon
>you agree that canon villains and enemies are also incompetent
>your libertalia is somehow exceptionally competent, beyond anything possible in the canon cartoon
>the reason for this is that there's a human in libertalia (ergo the human is the one injecting "competence" into libertalia, whereas otherwise they would be no more competent than e.g. the Changelings and would just get crushed within the timespan equivalent to one episode)

Obviously I exaggerated my post, but it's literally what you describe happening. Your HFY human OC goes into the cartoon world and curb-stomps the cartoon horses using real-world tactics and knowledge.

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>>38585866
It's a cute story and I do like the way you fairly naturally built Starlight's infatuation with Sunburst into it and also her higher than usual magic potency.
However,
>not having her mom around played a hand in how Glimmer turned out in her later years.
There is nothing really in the story that implied this to me. At most this is a single instance of parental indecisiveness which could have a bad effect on the child, but otherwise nothing seems to be horribly out of the ordinary. I definitely doubt a single bit-off sentence would set her on a worse path and since nothing in the story implies the mother faces a tragic end, there is a lack of real emotional impact for me.
The present tense choice is interesting, I think past would probably fit the story better considering it's supposed to be an "origin story" of sorts, but it's honestly up to you.
Anyway, I don't mean to knock too hard on you, it's not a bad story by any means, but in your place I'd think a bit more about the overarching plot and imply some repercussions or whatever.

>>38585781
Fits and spurts. A couple weeks will go by where the thought of opening a document is a monumental task. Then I’ll get a day or two where I crap out a couple thousand words, before it’s back to the drought.

>>38585876
3. Isn't accurate at least at first

>>38585904
I can definitely see how the bit with Starlight and her mom should be redone, yeah.

>nothing in the story implies the mother faces a tragic end
I was hoping to be subtle about it to imply that her sickness went unmanaged for too long and they found out about it too late. I meant to imply stomach cancer (her laying on the couch + general sluggish movement is the fatigue, the not eating.) I'll try and give that a little touch-up.

I think you're right in that the incident with the other foal should have more focus, I've got some ideas on how to go about it and I'll try and rework it when I get the chance. Thanks for looking through it!

>>38585866
That was pretty nice. I had some trouble figuring out who was talking in the first part, because the mother's an OC (right? or am I going retarded) and there aren't a lot of dialogue tags - but this might also be because I'm bloody sleep deprived so take this with a grain of salt.
I liked your characterisation. The story's more or less a "talking heads" story, so it's entirely carried by the characters and how well you can write dialogue, and I think you can write it pretty well. It felt natural, the argument felt natural, and you conveyed all their emotions quite well.

I liked also how you managed to characterise Starlight despite only having her feature for a couple hundred words at the end.

>>38585904
I think what the story shows is that her dad was much more lenient. Her mom was the one insisting on getting to the bottom of things - and being the corrective force - so with her gone, Firelight will just happily let Starlight grow up into a psychopath.
The way the story is set up, her mom wants to handle the incident seriously, but learning that Starlight apologised defuses her and she agrees to let it slide. But then the story shows that actually, Starlight didn't even mean the apology! In this incident, her mom doesn't have the heart to do a full 180* on the spot and go back to trying to berate her. Psychologically, she's already agreed to let it slide, so even though it turns out she'd been correct all along it's much easier to just rationalise not changing her opinion at this point.
I don't think the intention was to show that THIS incident caused Starlight to become evil. Rather, this just shows the interplay between the characters - and unambiguously shows that Starlight doesn't care much about wronging other ponies. And that Firelight doesn't see that. So there's two stories here really: one about how Starlight got away with being evil and her mom didn't reprimand her, and another about how her mom was the only one to even manage to get to the bottom of things, while her dad was entirely happy to let the entire situation slide. So, with her mom gone, it's no surprise that Starlight would have turned out as she did.

>>38585866
Actually, one criticism I just realised. There's a tiny off-hand remark about how her mom will be "gone". Now please do correct me if her mom isn't an OC - but if she is, then I think the story doesn't do enough to set up its premise. Having read your post I knew enough to go in, but had I gone in blind, maybe I would have missed that (on top of having to figure out who Bright Glint was).

Then again I'm not a fan of Starlight, nor of S6/S7, so for example I actually had to do a double-take when I remembered that, yeah, she doesn't have a mom in the show. Maybe someone who remembers that offhand will have an easier time realising what's going on in the story without needing any blurbs or explanations.

>>38585916
>at least at first
It becomes that way as the human influences it.
If you think this somehow invalidates my argument, you should stop, re-read the entire conversation, and think very carefully about what I'm trying to tell you.

>>38585935
>I was hoping to be subtle about it to imply that her sickness went unmanaged for too long and they found out about it too late. I meant to imply stomach cancer
Oh yeah, I (>>38585939) missed that completely - including the fact that she was sick at all. Again though if the show says she died of a sickness then that's my issue for not remembering almost anything about her parents; but if it doesn't, then yeah it really ought to be much clearer.

>>38585935
The sickness part definitely needs emphasizing. You've made it so subtle all I got was that the mother is tired, which having a problem child, isn't exactly surprising.
However, I admit what >>38585939 's post explained completely flew over my head (perhaps due to being distracted or just being stupid) so I apologize about saying your story doesn't imply any of it. I still think it's probably a good idea to put in some kind of "hook" (that's not the right term, but I'm not sure how to phrase it properly) that really ticks the reader off that things are going badly, but otherwise yeah, this is a cleverer story than I gave it credit for and it's totally on me for not getting it.

>>38585973
>put in some kind of "hook" (that's not the right term, but I'm not sure how to phrase it properly) that really ticks the reader off that things are going badly
For me, that "oh shit" moment was when Starlight signalled she didn't think she did anything wrong. The fic starts with a build-up of just how excessive it was (the toy was melted! she could have hurt another foal!), "defuses" it by showing that actually she's a good filly that apologised and probably lost control of her magic - then yanks it back out by going, whoops, nope! actually she meant it entirely and sees zero issue with disintegrating other foals' toys during an argument!

But then that's me, one datapoint, and you're clearly another datapoint that shows that not everyone will pick up on it (and you're an experienced reader and reviewer too, not some zoomer with no attention to detail), so >>38585935 I guess it's up to you to decide whether you want to make it more obvious and if so by how much.

>>38585865
I thought the point of having a human in your fic was that he brings IRL technology and tactics to Libertalia, which is what gives them the ability to challenge Equestria? Obviously anon is being a bit hyperbolic, but the idea of humans meeting some backward aliens and uplifting them with their amazing human knowledge is straight out of the HFY playbook

>>38585943
It invalidates the post that I replied to. And none of the claims in the previous thread's post that I replied to are true.

>>38586019
>It invalidates the post that I replied to.
>a single piece being partially incorrect makes the whole thing 100% wrong

>>38586019
>It invalidates the post that I replied to.
Yeah I'm not gonna talk to a brick wall if you somehow genuinely think this. Clearly communicating with you through the English langage is not possible because you just read what you want to see, rather than what's written on the screen, so at this point why bother.

>>38585998
Yes, but none of what that post says is accurate
Its possible I dont understand hfy, but if there's overlap theres overlap

>>38586024
I meant the one in the other thread anon

>>38586039
>Yes, but none of what that post says is accurate
This anon you're replying to is literally saying the exact same thing I said in my "invalidated" post. Why do you tell him "yes" but you say my post is "invalidated"? Genuinely curious about your logic here.

>>38586039
Fine, have a less exaggerated complaint: it's unrealistic for a single person to bring a backwater province (= not especially wealthy or flush with resources) from S1 Ponyville level of technology (excluding anomalies like Twilight's EKG) to having the capability to mass-produce machine guns in under a decade.

>>38586057
Not in a decade, in a lifetime. That would still be a struggle even if you took a super capable, knowledgeable, and adaptable 20 year old man and put him in that situation. And even then you're not going to get anything but very primitive versions.
This is another huge failing of all stories like these. They all focus on the flashy stuff while not understanding the real significance of what's going on. Mass production of steel, the steam engine, and nitroglycerin were of critical importance to industrialization. But these are at best given passing mentions, and only insofar as they relate to other, shinier things (internal combustion engine vehicles and guns especially so). Even just those three things alone would transform the world in ways so vast it can be difficult to comprehend.

>>38586108
Read Everyday Life With Guardsmares. Unironically. It actually handles it pretty well for the most part.

>>38586057
>>38586108
Also don't forget the cumulative benefits of infrastructure. To build a huge steel mill you already need a vast industrial capacity, so you'd need to scale up gradually. To build something like a steam engine you already need quality steel. You don't get anything for free, no shortcuts - if you want to make a machine, you have to make a machine to make that machine, and so on and so forth.

This is of course particularly egregious in "human kickstarts modern technology" stories, but I'm pretty sure that even the industrial revolution level is a very very tall order.

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>>38586057
The kind Vladimir Ilyich could do it.

>>38586108
Don't forget not just mass-produced steel, but steel produced with EXACT ALLOYING. The only way you get that in a backwater province is having a full-fledged-doctorate-having metallurgist land there, and that kinda precludes having other expertises without looking like a Mary Sue - "some guy who read something about technology" won't cut it.
And that's not to mention that for all those shinier things you need materials. Which are obtained very far from each other geographically IRL. Chrome isn't typically mined where iron is, which is in turn isn't mined where coal (and no, you can't use charcoal, trying to use charcoal is why London nowadays is on plains instead of a dense-ass forest) is, and coal isn't mined where nickel, copper, molybdenum, gold, etc etc are.
At best, from a single province you'll be getting low-power steam vehicles and maaaybe extremely quickly degrading (weak steel) shotguns, and even those only if you manage to have nitric acid synthesis, which means either sources of sulfur and potassium nitrate, or ammonia synthesis - look up an ammonia reactor, it's very educational. Without it, all you get is black powder musketons, which are garbage and you'll get maybe two shots off before you can't see anything due to the smoke and have to affix bayonets and charge.
>>38586159
Maybe if being bankrolled by Gryphonia technically France, but gryphons are french-equivalent in the show already and having no man's land the size of a continent behind him.

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https://ponepaste.org/7330
Back again. I tried to make her illness a little more obvious, moved it to past tense (may have missed a few things), and edited the bit with Starlight at the end (also tried to make the ending the 'hook' filly was talking about.) Also tried to make Bright being Starlight's mom + the corrective force Starlight needed while growing up more obvious.

>>38585939
Bright Glint is an OC basically, yeah. Her mom is never named/shown in the show, so it's easy to figure she died while Glim was young. I'm very happy you were able to get what I was going for, thank you.

>>38585973
>I apologize for saying your story doesn't imply any of it.
No worries. I /do/ have some problems with subtlety, as made obvious by the initial weak portrayal of Bright being sick.

>>38586148
>Everyday Life With Guardsmares.
Redpill me on this fic. The premise is kinda interesting but is it worth reading half a million words or however long it is?

>>38586252
>AiE
>worth reading
If you're asking this you may already be beyond salvation.

>>38586230
Hm, I'm not sure I like this ending better. I liked the interplay in the old one, where the circumstances aligned and Starlight got off scott-free when she shouldn't have.
On the other hand the
>As she stares into her daughter's sparkling eyes, she can't find anything to say.
isn't the best either for the circumstances.
Honestly on second thought I think the new version is indeed better, as it shows her mom actually being corrective in practice, on top of being the voice of reason in the earlier argument.

The new last line is a definite big improvement as far as the illness goes. Still not entirely sure if it might be slightly too subtle - the earlier line about "fatigue" and the implications of not eating are really very easy to miss I think. On the other hand with the new last line, maybe this is a good level of subtlety, because it's definitely possible to realise what's going on - it just requires readers to think a bit about it. So it's great if you want your story to have essentially a fridge implication, while most casual or more inattentive readers might not draw the connection; your call whether that's what you want or whether you might want to make it even more explicit.
(If you do, I'd insert the extra info around the argument between the parents, and leave the last line as-is.)

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It's been over 12 hours and I'm still not allowed to add stuff to my bookshelves. Apparently if you add 1000~ spread across several lists the site thinks you're a robot.

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>>38586289
You seem like a bot to me. Prove you're worth allowing to do this.

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>>38586301
>You seem like a bot to me.
I can solve captchas just fine, I swear I only got the pass to post faster!

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>>38586252
I'll admit that my memory isn't the clearest, but yes. It's got great characters and plots. I don't have much patience for stories and that only gets worse the more they ask for, but I never felt like my time was being wasted. I was amazed at how after reading half a million words I still wanted to read more. Everything felt worth reading and like it served a purpose. And that's another thing I'll commend it on. It knows how to set things up in advance and have a payoff later. There were plenty of things which seemed like fluff but turned out to have importance later on.
The only caveats are: AiE, its portrayal of Equestrian sex culture, and being unfinished.
There's no reason for Anon to be Anon. In reality he isn't. He doesn't act like Anon and he has some background of his life on Earth.
One instance that particularly stuck out to me was the mention of going out "clubbing." Things similar to that that don't fit the setting or expected culture. Though surprisingly enough the two characters who are most coupled with this stuff are actually good. Their characterizations make perfect sense. It's just the world around them that stands out.
And the one that's a real issue. But it isn't just unfinished, it's unfinished and being written by a guy who has a kid. It's slow-going and God knows when it might be finished or if it could end up dead eventually.
And one last thing, despite the name it's not very similar and is not a harem story. That actually tripped me up for a while. I was sitting there waiting for it to lose the facade and just get to the shameless part, but to my surprise it never did.

>>38585880
>>38585925
Acronyms pls

>>38586379
>not knowing ___
LURK you nigger holy shit

>all my favorite background ponies have barely a dozen stories each on fimfic
>some barely have 1 or 2
>most are just clop or lolsrandom one-shots with barely any characterization or plot
Gotta do everything myself.

>>38586271
I went with her getting punished because I feel it exemplifies what Starlight loses when her mom dies. Like you said, in the original she got off scot-free when she honestly shouldn't have. With Bright gone there'll be no one to really keep her from messing up and simply going "uh, yeah sorry i guess" like this time rather than knowing it's fucked to do whatever she did in the first place, aka future canon Starlight, which is what I'm trying to go for. Her dad thinks her apologizing is enough and with mom gone she drinks deep of the "magical sperg out first, sorries later" pool. I can definitely look over it again and see if I can't do a little more with Bright being sick, like you said, some may not instantly remember Glim doesn't have a mom. Hell, I imagine most might not even remember Firelight.

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>>38586419
They were just your OCs waiting to be written the whole time, anon.

>>38586379
See >>38586393
You should know both of those.

>>38586052
The claims are different.
The first claim
"Look how cool and tactical my human is"
Isnt something that can be objectively proven
The next claim is that "the ponies are all dumb and docile," isn't true either, they do what worked for them for their time period and with what they had and knew. That doesn't mean they're dumb. For a real world example, Aristotle didn't understand germ theory, that doesn't mean he was dumb. He did the best he could with what he had and knew at the time. Ponies are the same way.
"He shows them warfare and industry" nit really, he has a few ideas that they adopt but there's nowhere he really shows them off.
"The ponies think he's so cool and all appoint him their leader." This is patently false. The human rejects leadership here. He is as much of a leader to ponies as tsun tzu is a leader to modern humans. His posisition is mostly informative.
Though isolating that into two claims is.true but what children doesn't think backyard science is cool.
Finally "the stupid ponies don't stand a chance agaisnt his superior intellect and tactics" also isn't true
Equestria has better numbers and casters, and for all their faults I find it hard to believe that twiggle couldn't adapt. There are very real hurdles that Libertalia has to overcome. Saying they don't stand a chance is just retarded. Its because of the manpower advantage that leaving libertalia and trying to go firmly into loyalist equestria and losing the defensive war advantage, extra vulnerable supply lines is why the advance towards canterlot is ultimately halted at Linne river.
>>38586057
Most of what makes up Libertalia is rich in coal, saltpeter, iron and lumber. The biggest reason it hasn't been tapped is because A. Magic is a crutch, B. War is pretty uncommon. C. Metallurgy isn't far enough along to need massive amounts of iron. Finally coking is unknown to the world.
Also, I assume you're European and therefore a noguns but open bolt machineguns are literally simpler than semi automatics. The only thing that's difficult about manufacturing them is barriers of metallurgy, and springs
>>38586108
Well in specific to nitroglycerin thats actually one of the inventions that isnt being brought into the setting by Hugh Mann. That lovely bit of chemistry is being discovered by Fertile Fields whose talent is making fertilizer.
>>38586150
This will be addressed.
>>38586194
These concerns are addressed.
>>38586194
Smokeless powder will be addressed as well.

>>38586379
Check the OP.

>>38586230
Okay, gave this a read too. The past tense change was the right move imo. The sickness part is better for sure, as >>38586271 says it's really up to you how obvious you want it to be, but if you keep it this way, it's subtle but not too subtle. The new ending is better in the sense that it shows the mother as the one who does the "disciplining" part, but I think that "The voice begs Bright to speak out" motif was great and I think it's definitely something you should keep.

>>38586379
Read the OP, Anon. We can' help you if you don't help yourself.

>>38586430
Part of me is disappointed that no one else seems interested in the ponies I'm interested in, but part of me is also gleeful that that means they're basically all mine.

>>38586443
>Read the OP, Anon.
Shhh nobody is supposed to ever read the OP

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You should be able to solve this.

>>38586419
I wish there were more fics in general that were just SoL background pony day to day stuff. Stories written purely for immersion and not about some grand plot or epic plot twist.

>>38586468
Imagine reading AAG unironically

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>>38586543

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>>38586549
>Pip
>Littlepip
>Pipp
>Pippsqueak
Are there any more I should know about?

>>38586468
>Fo:E
>not FoE for extra confusion

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>>38586553
Little Pip
Little pip
LittlePip
Li'lpip
Probably more, I hate the first few chapters, they are the actual worst part of the fic.

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Any fics about something like this?

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>>38586657
Circles.

>browser crashes in the middle of you writing a chapter because you opened an image
Thanks, Element.

>>38586862
>writing chapters in browser
>or rather in any browser released past 2008

>>38586869
>using writing software
>when Fimfiction exists
ngmi

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>>38586485
>1000000 words of epic literary adventure and deepest lore
I sleep
>1000000 words of a mare shopping for curtains for her house
REAL SHIT

>>38586898
That's called literary fiction. The 'true' writers only make novels about a guy washing the dishes or something.

>>38586485
Admiral Biscuit has some stuff like this. I think my favorites are https://www.fimfiction.net/story/225173/silver-spanner-gets-her-cutie-mark and sequels

>>38586553
Took me a minute to remember, but I think "Pip" in AAG is Pipsqueak (the pirate) from the show, now all grown up. Pip was with Imago (female changeling), then with Sweetie Belle, then back with Imago and their many changeling babies; Star Swirl (female, many generations descended from the original) has a crush on Sweetie (her magic teacher), but ends up dating Rumble; and Sweetie winds up foreveralone.

>>38587044
>Pipsqueak (the pirate)
Newt Pippington?

>>38586553
Tell me about the power of Mr Taco

So DougtheLoremaster uploaded
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/508126/the-foalsitter
and while I am curious, I've tried to read some of his other stories and they just go sour for me part way through with how odd his writing feels (I can't explain it, don't ask me), especially since his one story, Feeling the Rhythm, had such a cool concept where ponies use their magic by dancing and feeling a natural song come to them.

>>38587191
Ghino di Tacco, one of NMM's generals. I believe he's an Italian pirate, the leader of a group called the "Republic of Pirates". I think he's involved in the theft of the Iranian fighter jet squadron that's later used to destroy Cloudsdale.

>>38587320
God Bless Mr Taco

>>38587320
>Ghino di Tacco
This is the least plausible still technically Italian Italian name I've ever seen. It feels like the author poorly translated a pony OC name into Italian.

>>38586436
>Also, I assume you're European and therefore a noguns but open bolt machineguns are literally simpler than semi automatics
I'll take your word for it that making a machine gun is not that hard. But making enough machine guns to equip your entire army, with precise enough tolerances that you can use standardized parts and ammo, is a different story.

>Metallurgy isn't far enough along to need massive amounts of iron. Finally coking is unknown to the world
Can you clarify the timeline here? Specifically, how long between these two events:
>human arrives in Libertalia (at which point steel has not been invented yet)
>Libertalia begins mass production of machine guns
If it's 50 years between these two events, then it would be no problem. But my impression so far is that it's more like 3-5 years or possibly even less.

https://ponepaste.org/7331
Alrighty, third time's the charm. I'm generally pretty content with this, now.

>>38586271
I added a little toward the end of the first half to drive home the sickness a bit more, beyond that I think that's as far as I'll go to showcase what's happening.

>>38586443
Sadly, I couldn't really include the inner voice again in a way I liked. I did a little with the distinct wrongness Glint feels about Starlight's behavior, though.

>>38587668
Looks good to me now. I think it's good to go.

>>38587527
Right now, from when Hugh Mann arrives to the declaration of secession is twenty years. Friendship is magic happens 19 years after he arrives.

>>38587982
>Hugh Mann in Equestria
Please tell me that's his actual name.

>>38584436
>prevents telekinetics just squeezing organs
I'm not saying compress Dash into a goreball, just telekinetically grab her. When you do powerful unicorn vs non unicorn fights, you have weave a bunch of bullshit to explain how the fight can even happen.

>>38584737
>something more then "its le bad" to work
Christ, man. You're turning into Bleedin with how much advice you've ignored. I'll try one last time, then I'll just shitpost about it from now on:
>You have a woefully unbalanced setting that destroys the warfic's excitement for the reader. A "peasant revolt led by a bunch of former exiles, griffons, and natives" that doesn't even have a majority of the 5% of Equestria it's taking place in, somehow builds a huge industrial base, invents new technologies, and overwhelms Equestria's military. It destroys the suspension of disbelief. Readers will look at your OC country in disgust as they realize the author is shoving his hands up everyone's ass to puppet everything into the forced outcome he wants.
>You have protagonists the reader will hate. A good warfic pits good against evil, making the reader root for the characters to prevail against an invader/attacker. This one has a bunch of assholes rebel against Equestria because they don't like Celestia and Twilight, not because they're evil AU versions of themselves threatening their homes, but because they're canon and therefore incompetent idiots, despite defeating every villain and leading Equestria in a prosperous golden age of peace.
>You have a magically resistant human OC Mormon as the lynchpin character that allows the plot to happen.
>You have rapid technological development that makes no sense. A human cannot possess the technical skills to invent a steam engine, steam expansion engine, ironclad warships, and apparently machine guns as well. Let alone develop an industrial base with the resources, skills, and horsepower to mass produce these in a backwater region that makes up 5% of a country.
>James Buchanan literally did a better job as a leader in stopping a Mormon revolt than Celestia does. Once shit starts hitting the fan, she should drop everything and pop over to see what the fuck's going one and get things cleared up in a few weeks.

>>38585625
>Name it then
Age of Wings and Steel. Equestria is a HRE clusterfuck on the verge of being steamrolled by the griffons, so Celestia sends her praetorian guard to buy time while the epic adventure plot tries to rally an ally. Then, in the climax she fights the dragon attacking Canterlot while the normal ponies take care of the griffons.

Celestia Regina. When a region rises up in rebellion, Celestia immediately intervenes, personally visiting the rebel leader to sort out a peaceful solution to the crisis. Sound familiar?

>>38585781
Still chipping away at the bat pone fetish sequel.

>people are still trying to give the pipp flag advice
lol, lmao even

>>38585781
Still fixing things. Trying to, at least.

>>38585781
On the 1st of May, I said to myself:
"Alright, you're a useless piece of shit and you're going to die alone, but before you do you can at the very least put in the effort to write a 75,000-word story. You've done nothing but write short stories for the better part of a decade, so surely you've learnt enough by now to write something larger. A full book, full of horsewords. Just write a chapter a day of maybe 2000 words, easy-peasy, and take it one step at a time. Don't stress out about it."
We're nearly half-way through May and I've written one and a half chapters and overthought everything. Progress has stagnated and I'm on the verge of giving up on yet another project.
So basically, same as usual.

>>38588238
On the 1st of May, I listened to Joanathan Coulton's First of May for a few minutes and giggled like a retarded lemming.

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>>38588213
Never before has so much advice been given by so many to one who has written so few.

>>38588252
Yeah, at least Bleedin' pumped out stories.

>>38587306
I've reviewed it last thread (>>38585016 )
The guy himself is a really interesting character. After I made another review about a story of his a few months ago he DM-ed me on Fimfic. While I won't publish what we said to each other privately, I will say as much that it allowed me to understand his process a little more and how his stories are so weird not due to him trying to be pretentious, but rather because it's a method of mental care. I admit, I still don't particularly enjoy his stuff, but I can sympathize with the author at least.

>>38587668
Godspeed, Anon. I hope it will be received well.

>>38586252
Don't listen to this >>38586335 guy. Any story with this length is an endlessly meandering mess, including ELWGM. It has decent characterizations yes, but with maybe one exception, all the characters are pretty much unlikeable. And goddamn, it's SLOW. It's the story with the slowest fucking progress I've ever encountered. You can skip entire chapters (technically, udates, as the it's written as green, there's a guy on Fimfic who adapts it into prose with permission), and you lose nothing, as probably the fic is still circling around the same plot point.
Read a good fic instead.

Anyone read this? https://www.fimfiction.net/story/99168/the-tale-of-lord-barleycorn
>inb4 >hie
I'm aware

>>38588087
>A human cannot possess the technical skills to invent a steam engine, steam expansion engine, ironclad warships
Not true. A well-read man could absolutely possess the knowledge required to start an industrial revolution. Not every part, of course not, but the parts needed to take what already exists in the land and get it to that point. He doesn't need to know exactly how to make steel of a given composition or how to identify useful ore from common rocks. Those are things he could get help from the locals for. He could work with a blacksmith, describe the general creation process and properties of the material, and work with the blacksmith to create steel. He could work with someone like Maud, describe the properties of the ore, and work with her to find a deposit.

>>38588865
Do HFYfags really?

>>38585787
I've also been getting into drawing, maybe one day this thread could have drawfags illustrating 300 post arguments as they happen

>>38588868
None of this is unique to a human. You could reverse the situation, having a pony from a technologically advanced Equestria come to our world in pre-industrial times, and all of that would hold true.
Enough with your autism.

>>38588872
Do *FYfags really?

>>38588616
>all the characters are pretty much unlikeable.
How?
>And goddamn, it's SLOW.
Yes, and?
>You can skip entire chapters and you lose nothing,
Aside from pretty much all of the finer details.
>as probably the fic is still circling around the same plot point.
Wow, a story having plot points which span multiple chapters. So unbearable.
You could just say you have a low attention span.
>>38588865
I'm gonna shill ELWGM again because it also does this well.

>>38586393
>>38586434
>>38586439
>>38586443
No he's right, just type the extra 10 letters, I thought you guys write

>>38588999
>he oon's pprentice
That's at least 15 letters, plus another three spaces/symbols to type

>>38588999
>I thought you guys write
Well you clearly don't.

>>38588999
>he's right
Funny you did not type out "he is" instead of "he's".
Your're are not a True Writer unless you never use any acronym or contraction. Everyone knows that.

>>38586430
Good god who's that beautiful MARE

>>38588631
No, but it's on my Read Later, so somebody ITT must have recommended it a long time ago.

>>38589001
I'm sorry.

>>38589003
Of course not, I prefer to judge other people instead.

>>38589005
>Your're are
People in this ITT will spend hours writing complex arguments in 3000 character posts that will be read by 3 other people, but won't spend the extra second making sure their post is understandable for people who don't have /fimfic/ connected directly to their neurons

>>38589028
>People in this ITT will spend hours writing complex arguments in 3000 character posts that will be read by 3 other people, but won't spend the extra second making sure their post is understandable for people who don't have /fimfic/ connected directly to their neurons
Well those 3000 character arguments are specifically also aimed at people who do have /fimfic/ connected to their neurons. I don't see why you're surprised at the consistency.

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>>38588087
>When you do powerful unicorn vs non unicorn fights, you have weave a bunch of bullshit to explain how the fight can even happen.
>have to
It's definitely optional. I would almost say, the less effort is put in to explaining why a unicorn struggles to pwn a pegasus and just has them bash it out with flashy moves, the more well-liked it is.
>You're turning into Bleedin with how much advice you've ignored.
I think it's unfair to say Bleedin ignored advice. He recognized its value and wanted to follow it, but couldn't. At least, that was the case in the few times I talked to him.

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>>38589008
S7E12

>>38589042
>I think it's unfair to say Bleedin ignored advice
I definitely remember him arguing against advice a lot, but he also tried to listen. His brain just would not let him improve. Very sad.

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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/516675/starry-darling
Here it is. Thanks again to everyone who looked it over for me!

>>38589102
>Exactly 1000 words
Amazing, reading and upvoting rn

>>38588872
>Moondancer gets stuck on earth via the usual shenanigans
>spends decades bootstrapping the new enchanted items industry
I'd read that

>>38589028
>won't spend the extra second making sure their post is understandable for people who don't have /fimfic/ connected directly to their neurons
If the abbreviation is on the list, or if a story with those initials is easily spotted on the vuta7 or the new review site, then you have no excuse. And if there are decent context clues, then you should follow them. If you see a post talking about DOWAS and Method together, even though Method isn't on any of the lists, it's trivial to find once you know it's related to DOWAS.

If all of the above fail, then it might be legitimate to complain about anons being cryptic. Or you could just ask, and someone will probably tell you.

>>38589134
>amazing
If you've been living under a rock, there's an ongoing contest for stories of exactly 1000 words
There's been one or two in the feature box nearly every day for the past couple of months

>>38589229
>>spends decades bootstrapping the new enchanted items industry
The thing is I feel like once you have one base (technological or magical), the other should be much easier. Some basic principles - like precision manufacturing - carry over regardless of the purpose, or method for achieving, said precision.

If you had a sufficiently advanced magical society, you could use your magical industry to extract ores useful for manufacturing, you could magically shape the initial machines necessary for precision manufacturing, and basically you'd be able to bootstrap advanced technology much much easier than when going from zero. It may not necessarily be possible to build an advanced microchip foundry without first creating some crude bootstrap microchips for control and iterating, but you'd still be WAY ahead of the curve as far as bootstrapping that - plus magic might make things like maintaining the absurd room requirements much easier, if there exist any kind of "remove ALL contaminants in the air in this area" spell.

And vice versa. With our modern manufacturing capabilities, if we suddenly gained the knowledge necessary to build magic devices, we should be able to jury-rig and bootstrap a magic industry with relative ease.

>>38589235
>If you've been living under a rock
I have, thanks.
Unread and disliked.

>>38589229
>If the abbreviation is on the list
The list shouldn't have even been made, it's unquestionably even more autistic that anything we discuss ITT.

>>38589272
No. It's much easier to go from technology to magic than the reverse. Technology is inherently infrastructural. Magic is not.

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>>38589229
Moondancer goes to ancient Rome.
Pony and Roman culture are both heavily influenced by Greek mythology, allowing them to relate to one another easily.
Moondancer ends up marying the emperor. This is now normalized in the west forever. If we ever find Equestria again, pony wives would be in high, mainstream demand.
The Roman empire never collapses. All of Europe remains untied into the modern era.
Instead of AD and BC we get BM and AM for before and after Moondancer.
The Romans see the strong similarities between Celestia and Luna and their own Gods and they become the two largest figures in western religion.

>>38589229
>Or you could just ask, and someone will probably tell you.
This. The counter-argument against this is "ohh anons will be rude and tell me to lurk more!" but a lot of the time I see this directed at posts that say something like "dude stop using cryptic acronyms, what are you even referring to with <obvious acronym>". Obviously those people will be told to lurk more.

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>>38589272
If your magic is about physics hax, and I hardly know of any magic that isn't, then it's mostly incompatible with technological advancement. It's very, very incompatible with chip manufacturing, which is all about relying on extreme physics to be stable to the greatest degree possible. Anyone doing chip manufacturing would prefer to keep anything interfering with local phenomena as far as possible from the sensitive machines.
I always roll my eyes at any notion of a unicorn interacting with a microchip, imposing their will on it to get literally any result except causing it to crash and reset.

>>38589297
That depends on what kind of magic you have. I can easily see it being possible to use magic to brute-force e.g. a small quantity of good steel alloy, then brute-force shape it into the necessary parts without needing complex industrial equipment, and thus assemble a large industrial machine "from scratch" without needing a ton of bootstrapping industry.
From there you can kickstart your industry.

>>38589311
>if you want to know what we're talking about, you'll have to go through the standard lurking period, but specifically for this thread alone
Is this why we only have 30 posters?

>>38589313
Perhaps, but then you could still use magic to construct the clean room.
Also it might be possible to hax the dust particules around the chips and nothing else. (I doubt there's a lot of silicon or copper dust emanating from the workers in the facility.) Or it may or may not be possible to use telekinesis to manipulate wafers and components without affecting them, and if it is, then you could eliminate biological presence from the clean room entirely.

>I always roll my eyes at any notion of a unicorn interacting with a microchip, imposing their will on it to get literally any result except causing it to crash and reset.
Technically, if magic is just THAT precise, it might be possible to use the physics hax to observe an individual transistor or memory cell without affecting its operation. Probably much easier to do on a DRAM cell - and control a computer by flipping bits in memory - than by trying to influence actual transistors, of course, if only because memory accesses happen predictably whereas transistors are used a few billion times a second.
But yes, of course, that requires very very precise and side-effect-free magic.

>>38589272
>It may not necessarily be possible to build an advanced microchip foundry without first creating some crude bootstrap microchips for control and iterating, but you'd still be WAY ahead of the curve as far as bootstrapping that
Modern fabs are insanely complicated
>Jan. 21, 2022 – Intel today announced plans for an initial investment of more than $20 billion in the construction of two new leading-edge chip factories in Ohio.
You need more than just a few basic chips to run the machines. I also doubt it would be feasible to design a working current-year CPU if you only had, say, 20-year-old computers. You wouldn't be able to run the CAD software or the simulations in any kind of reasonable timeframe (if at all).

>>38589313
>If your magic is about physics hax, and I hardly know of any magic that isn't, then it's mostly incompatible with technological advancement
If magic follows physics-like predictable rules, then there's no reason you couldn't build computers that run (and behave predictably) on a mix of magic and electricity.

>>38589313
>Anyone doing chip manufacturing would prefer to keep anything interfering with local phenomena as far as possible from the sensitive machines.
Eh. The EM spectrum is already polluted with all sorts of garbage, and the gravitational spectrum in Asia is saturated between earthquakes and the vibration from driving on nearby roads.
They've already solved all of those problems, as far as the manufacturing goes.

>>38589360
You absolutely do NOT need to start with modern fucking EUV fabs. You don't even need nm scale fabs, you can start off with a micrometer scale fab and go from there. The entire infrastructural supply chain to be able to build one is unfathomable to bootstrap, but if you can cheat by using magic, then the actual fab technology at that scale is not THAT mind-boggling (especially if you can cheat with magic).

>I also doubt it would be feasible to design a working current-year CPU if you only had, say, 20-year-old computers. You wouldn't be able to run the CAD software or the simulations in any kind of reasonable timeframe (if at all).
You'd be surprised how much is possible given enough budget. You wouldn't be able to run a shiny UI that runs on three layers of interpreted abstractions and virtual machines to render transparent animations through a software stack, all on an ultrathin smartphone, but you would still be able to run CAD software and whatnot on a workstation under your desk.

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>>38589356
>>38589360
You two seem to be missing something far more important in manufacturing than "can it be made?"
Magic favors the individual, artisanship. It's fun to write and read stories about legends of individual achievement.
Manufacturing is about repeatability. It doesn't matter if a unicorn could clean a space of air to zero ppm. What matters is if the space of air can be cleaned to a sufficient ppm every second of every day, for every day, forever.
Even if a person with a super-loupe could pick and place transistors quickly to make a chip, they would still prefer using machines to do it because the machine is predicable.

I know there are stories about automating, or programming magic but they (literally) suck the magic out of the setting.

>>38589374
(Also I don't know how I wrote "gravitational spectrum" which retarded nonsense when I just meant "vibrations". Probably should catch some sleep)

>>38589134
I once encountered a 132k words story where every chapter is exactly 2000 words.

>>38589360
Like >>38589379 says, a basic fab is still complicated, but not outright impossible.
This guy http://sam.zeloof.xyz/ is well known for making surprisingly fine homegrown chips in his garage.
He's still 'cheating' a bit by buying some of the hard stuff instead of starting with just consumer tools.

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>>38589374
They're solved by doing what I said - keeping interference as far as possible from the machines, and insulating the machines in general.
Adding magic is doing exactly the opposite, and I think should achieve nothing except cause the machine to not work, because it relies on the insulation.

>>38589436
I think that's a little extreme when there are so many possibilities as to how magic works.
EUV tin plasma light sources are in the business of turning 1MW of power into 200W of light. You can bet that 1 MW is causing more noise than anything regular day-to-day magic can do. But they have no problem insulating the machines that need it from that noise, it's really not the hard part.

I think you assume magic has to be extremely physics-breaking, but I don't think it'd cause much more interference than a microwave.
We know how to shield those. It's actually pretty low-tech!

>>38589381
>It doesn't matter if a unicorn could clean a space of air to zero ppm. What matters is if the space of air can be cleaned to a sufficient ppm every second of every day, for every day, forever.
All you have to do is pay the unicorn to clean the space of air every second of every day. (Or more likely a team of unicorns to take shifts.) And not literally forever, but only as long as your fab keeps runnign - just like any other employee.
In fact, no, not even as long as your fab keeps running, but rather until you can bootstrap enough industry to automate all that.

Hence me talking about building industrial machines, for example. Use magic to boostrap industry, then use industry to continue expanding your industry.

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>>38589451
>>38589470
What if the unicorn sneezes? Or sees another unicorn walks by who is very cute?
In a way, DoWaS is about the answer to that question. It's very brutal.

>>38589477
As long as it's the unicorns, it's fine.
When Flutterbat sneezes I get in the clean room.

>>38585781
I got myself into that groove I was talking about, 500 words a day (or if I miss a day I make up for it, 1000 words the next). Doing school at night and work during day makes it easier for me to keep up the writing actually, since I'm constantly busy and not just laying around.

>>38589477
>What if the unicorn sneezes?
That would look really cute. Ponies sneezing are adorable.

>>38587982
>from when Hugh Mann arrives to the declaration of secession is twenty years
OK, that's actually not completely unreasonable.

What stops Equestria from catching up with Libertalia's technology? (My impression from what you've said previously is that Libertalia has machine guns, but Equestria never develops them.) I would expect Equestria to be only a little behind Libertalia in industrialization for most of those 20 years. Once Libertalia starts mass-producing these new weapons, I'd expect Equestria to either intervene immediately or quickly follow suit.

>>38589381
>Magic favors the individual, artisanship
Some magic systems do, others don't. The magic system in Ra, for example, is entirely mechanical. If you inscribe these runes, and say these words, then this quantity of thermal energy will be converted directly to electricity. This leads to the development of the field of magical engineering (the main character of the story in fact has a MagE degree)

>>38589379
>You wouldn't be able to run a shiny UI that runs on three layers of interpreted abstractions
I was thinking more of the synthesis and verification tools, which (as I understand it) are typically command-line tools, and are written in serious languages like C++ instead of webshittery.

>>38589436
>Adding magic is doing exactly the opposite, and I think should achieve nothing except cause the machine to not work
Not all magic systems work like Dresden Files

>>38589591
>serious languages
>C++

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>>38589689

>>38589689
If you can't program it entirely in HTML, you suck as a programer.

>>38589689
Yes.

>>38589591
>I was thinking more of the synthesis and verification tools, which (as I understand it) are typically command-line tools, and are written in serious languages like C++ instead of webshittery.
Yeah and you could absolutely run them on 20 year old computers. Again, people made a spaceflight guidance computer in the middle of the 20th century.

Stuff like simulations and whatnot were the bread and butter of professional or industrial computing, long before personal computing became ubiquitous.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/516700/princess-luna-is-in-your-shower
>Only sources I could find for the cover art were russian sites...would rather not link those haha
what did he mean by this
>Sex tag for naked Luna
WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS

>>38589935
Downvote until he releases the source.

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>>38589946
I'm almost certain it's fanart for this detestable excretion:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/430915/moon-rise
There are other pics in the set, mostly related to that story's fantasy of a human basically completely destroying a pony and then somehow putting them back together as a pet and dependent.

>>38589702
Anon, that's even worse.

>>38589702
>come to /fimfic/ to seek refuge from the world of programming
>see this

>>38590112
>protag is a literal cheetah-man
Is this the secret sleeper 'Action 52' kino we've been looking for?

>>38590112
>completely destroying a pony and then somehow putting them back together as a pet and dependent
Based
>a human
Cringeworthy and irredeemable.
Luna is for Twilight to break.

>Three Wishes
The CMC gain super abilities.
Scootaloo goes from not flying to being faster than Dash in a few days.
Applebloom can instantly grow any plant
Sweetie Belle can stick her hoof in her mouth.

One of them got a bad deal.

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>>38589946
Source is on derpi anyway, he's just retarded. It's just the way he phrased both of those things

>>38590148
>>come to /fimfic/ to seek refuge from the world of programming
/mlp/ is full of CS autists, if you want refuge it's not gonna be here.

>>38589815
>>38589591
>Yeah and you could absolutely run them on 20 year old computers
If the code is compiled into instructions those computers actually understand, that is. But otherwise yeah, it'll just be SLOW.
Potentially so slow as "that time would be literally better spent getting those computers to design SLIGHTLY better circuits rather than full-on modern ones", but still.
>Some magic systems do, others don't.
If it's magitek, it's not really "magic" as a concept, just a differently-styled field of technology.
Magic inherently relies on and empowers the person.
Technology inherently relies on and empowers infrastructure.
In essence, magic is inherently artisanal. That your technology runs on saying specific magic words and inscribing specific runes doesn't make it any less of technology. Even if it was designed by a supercomputer at the absolute limit of possibility. A supercomputer that STILL makes basic bitch mistakes in the rules resulting in exploits!
>Not all magic systems work like Dresden Files
And in Dresden Files, it's specifically mortals that interfere with technology with their magic, because human magic in that setting runs on belief, so if enough people believe it should fuck with tech, it does fuck with tech.
>it used to curdle milk nearby in the medieval times, and implicitly no longer does
None of the supernaturals have any issues using technology - svartalves, the Fomori (though theirs is better), hell, Molly using a cellphone with no trouble is explicitly highlighted once she becomes Winter Lady.

>>38590181
>If the code is compiled into instructions those computers actually understand, that is
I mean, unless the human arrives in Equestria with some disks full of industrial design software, that's not gonna be a problem, since the software will have to be written from scratch anyway.
>that time would be literally better spent getting those computers to design SLIGHTLY better circuits
Oh, of course there's some optimal performance curve in there. You would probably want more than just two iterations (make 25 year old circuit by hand then jump directly to modern EUV).

However it's also worth noting that Moore's law has been dead for about a decade. If you want to use a processor from the early 2010s, of like 30-50nm ish or whatever they had at the time, it's not gonna be much more than maybe 2x-3x slower than a modern cutting edge processor (if that), while being vastly easier to manufacture because you're still in the realm where photolithography works at sane wavelengths.

>>38585765
>Hailey Potter's adventures continue
I can never tell if I just miss these or if the fic has become incomprehensible to the point where I instantly forget the summary upon reading. What the heck would the summary of the fic so far look like? Readable?

>>38578687
>all the superpowers get handed out up front, and then the fic gets cancelled because (I suspect) the author no longer had anything left to look forward to.
I'm sure that I've made this point before, but handing out any superpowers at any point will break the HP universe and therefore your ability to write in it. Canon won't even survive letting the cast use their canon powers competently. In many places you could replace Harry with a total muggle who just happens to be in Hogwarts and still do better than he did.

>>38585804
>Twilight agrees to have sex with Zebra King
>She's getting pounded
>King reveals his true identity, Princess Celestia
>Now Twilight's getting raped
I'd read.

>>38590273
>Princess Celestia took King Zebra's place after he went to prison for trying to kidnap Twilight at her wedding
what a twist

>>38590148
>evil Schemes
>everyone has a Lisp
>big R retards everywhere
>all the Sequels suck
>no Clojure in sight
Yeah, I'm brainfucked as well.

>>38588047
I haven't figured out his name yet. Though I'm tempted to.
>>38589544
Basically theres nothing stopping equestria from developing aside from not being there first. Machineguns for example are used, at least initially, for pest control rather then warfare and in main equestria things are alot easier to control.
Additionally other pieces of technology, since they don't really have to worry about warfare to Kickstart its development theres more vested interests in existing magical solutions then whatever new gizmos that the backwards farmers and outlaws are coming up with on the fringes to deal with problems that are pretty exclusive to those fringes.

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>Slap on new Chapter today
>Gets the most view in 24 hours so far
>But also accrued 6 down votes
>mfw

>>38590231
> it's not gonna be much more than maybe 2x-3x slower than a modern cutting edge processor (if that)
It's not just clock. Amount of operations/clock has risen as well. The record for overclocking (8GHz, I think) will be slower than any modern 3GHz CPU because of that.
That said, you're most likely correct on the speed difference.

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People in my work slack are talking about stories with interesting interpretations of time travel. How bad of an idea would it be to post a link to https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390302/inevitabilities?

>>38590181
>Harry dresden is an ork
This makes too much sense

>>38590343
Those stories suck but I still want him to release the last one just to see how everything gets resolved

>>38590181
>Even if it was designed by a supercomputer
It wasn't. The supercomputer is the bad guy. In-universe, the magic system was designed and implemented by the wheel group, using the quarter of Ra that was allocated for use by non-uploaded humans.

>>38590332
>It's not just clock.
Clock is practically unchanged, I'm not talking about clock. i5-2500k had a turbo frequency of 3.7GHz and could be overclocked past 4GHz because overclocking still existed back then; modern i9s sit around 4-5GHz and can't be overclocked much more than that. That's like a 25%-30% increase in clock rates, max.
I was indeed talking about straight up performance.

>>38590236
>What the heck would the summary of the fic so far look like? Readable?
It generally follows the plot of the books, with a few major differences:
>book 1: Malfoy/Silversong faces Quirrell alongside Hailey
>book 2: something like 4-6 extra major characters end up in the Chamber of Secrets to help Hailey
>book 3: Hailey knows the big reveal in advance; Peter Pettigrew is caught and executed; Sirius Black's name is cleared with the Ministry of Magic, but not with the general public (IIRC)
>book 4: Hailey knows the big reveal even further in advance, but lets everything proceed anyway as part of her keikaku
There's a lot of story outside of that, but it's hard to identify any real overarching conflict. All the main characters are extraordinarily powerful and basically get everything they could possibly want. So it's mostly slice-of-lifey chapters about Student Instructor Program organizational business or finding out about the new power so-and-so recently acquired offscreen.

>>38589935
You forgot to mention it's also
>[Anthro]
In which case teen+sex tags for nudity makes slightly more sense

>>38590499
No way
Fuck you're right
WHY DO PEOPLE PUT A PONY COVER ART PICTURE AND THEN AKSHUALLY WHOOPS IT IS AN ANTHRO STORY HAHA EPICLY TROLLT AMIRITE

>>38590390
It was designed by a supercomputer, whether subroutine on Ra or on Earth, on query from the Wheel (they "got the original equations for magic" from it), and the bad guys are the Virtuals, not Ra itself, Glass Man is just some virtual fuck aliasing the name (given that, you know, until the end nobody can even ACCESS Ra).
Also, seriously? Recording destruction of your uber-artifacts (definitely made by Ra as the last request before locking it) in enough fidelity to recreate them? Failing to actually destroy all of them? Allowing recording to be copied in the first place? RECORDING SUICIDE IN ENOUGH FIDELITY TO RE-ACCESS THE COPY OF THE RECORDING, WITH BOTH BRAIN AND THE COPY IT KNOWS ABOUT BEING SANITIZED?
>>38590459
>Pettigrew is caught and executed
>Hailey knows the big reveal even further in advance
Didn't Voldy need his arm to resurrect? Fucking Child of the Storm looks more competently written than Hailey, by several orders of magnitude.

>>38590513
>Didn't Voldy need his arm to resurrect?
He needs "blood of the servant" or some such thing, but he's got a different servant now instead of Pettigrew. They were mentioned by name at some point IIRC, but I forget who it was (some random death eater from the books).

>>38590528
Lmao, because that's good writing
>no, it's not the important side character who the audience know quite well at this point, it's frank the LOATHSOME DEATH EATER

>>38590528
Probably "flesh" of the servant, since blood came from Potter.

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>>38590273
>reading ziggershit

>>38590824
You misunderstand anon. I do not read ziggershit; I create hypothetical ziggershit. I am the conceptual zigger.

>>38590285
Twilight thinks she's making celestia soooo mad by worshiping zebra cock and yetting her stripes... but then...

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>Tfw I just barely avoided being Jested
By the way, does anyone know why he has such a hateboner for Celestia? I can understand not liking her but nearly every story of his is about how bad and evil she is.

>>38591099
That's just the default for bronies.

Even if you could magically create a computer that's twenty years ahead of current day it would be effectively worthless because you'd have to code every bit of it from scratch.

>>38591187
Lmao, what's the issue? Scratch is a literal babby tier "language".

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>>38591190
Anon, I...

>>38591099
IRL we only have a God of pure evil. It's hard for a westerner to imagine a god who isn't hellbent on torturing anyone who doesn't bow before them, or even one reasonable enough to allow them to grovel after seeing they exist for sure.

>>38591187
Stop anon. You have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

>>38591204
Least schizophrenic anti-theist.

>>38591221
Please tell me how you'd make a computer with no software work.

>>38591237
Did you know Pong was built without code, purely out of circuitry on the hardware level?

>>38591243
And you're gonna do that on a modern chip? Not just that, but enough to make the computer actually useful for something?

>>38591228
Maltheist.

>>38591246
Oh I was just bringing up an interesting fact for anons to look at while they laugh at someone whose definition of a computer only includes the hardware side of it.

>>38591277
Yes, the conversation was about creating the hardware of a computer via magic.

>>38591187
>Implying some freetard isn't going to port a C compiler and their favorite distro a week after learning magic machine language

>>38586379
These are the names of stories we frequently discuss.
TMA = Take My Anus
FiMC = Froglicking inside Mistress Celestia
Shocking if you haven't already read them.

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The files are inside the computer.

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>>38591771]
NTA but
>reading b&thro
>ever
ISHYGDDT

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Since it is Friday the 13th, I'd like recs for the best pulpy and campy horror stories you've read. Mindless fun, nothing too existential. There's gotta be something out there.

>>38591898
Not exactly horror, but some of my favorite non-lethal gore fics.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/201562/twilight-kills-herself-a-lot

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/68479/the-many-deaths-of-rainbow-dash

>>38591926
Thanks anon, I'll check those out.

>>38590343
Broken Symmetry has a far better time travel component, I think.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/301077/broken-symmetry

>>38591898
Lovecraftian comedic:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390521/the-neck-curl-maneicon

>>38591953
The discussion was mostly about the rules of time travel in various settings, like stable time loops vs time travel creating new alternate timelines. I did forget about Broken Symmetry, but I don't think it has particularly interesting rules (especially if you factor in the ending). It's more about puzzling out who was in which box at which time. Whereas Inevitabilities specifically explores some of the interesting consequences of its choice of rules. It also directly addresses the question of what would actually stop you if you tried to kill your own grandfather, which most time loop fics just ignore.

I wound up not mentioning Inevitabilities after all, since the discussion had mostly wound down by the time I got back to it.

Would Twilight be willing to go back in time to kill herself just to see what would happen?

I feel like unicorn Twilight would have, but not alicorn Twilight, and especially the dull and uninteresting twilight from the end seasons of the show.

>>38592153
After enough time and languor under immortal boredom, she might.

Came back home late. I feel I'm gonna pass out soon.
Still managed to write one paragraph.
Hopefully I can finish this one-shot tomorrow or Sunday at most.
Cheers, Anons.
May your writings be plentiful.

>>38592153
Season 9 Twilight wouldn't even read a book anymore. That's how dull she ended up.

>>38592253
Season 9 Twilight doesn't exist, anon. It's just some crazy Haberverse OC.

>>38592153
After the events of 'It's About Time' (and if we're considering the later seasons 'The Cutie Re-Mark') I think Twiggles would forever be soured on the concept of time-travel.
If anything I'd more expect her to start looking into divination or future sight considering how autistically she tried to prevent the negative futures, which could work as an interesting riff on the former episode's concept.

>>38592249
Good job, Anon. Keep up the nice work!

>>38585765
these threads are always dead how ironic no one even wants to talk about the lack of writing because that would necessitate more writing wouldn't it ??? lol lmao no balls they can't commit to anything even writing a story losers sorry try harder to write good stories guys i am rooting for you over here little bit of friendly encouragement

>>38592798
Shh, no writing, only autistic discussions now

>>38591898
The Something Sweet to Bite series is what you're looking for. It's exactly and intentionally a take on a horror franchise with all the bullshit of later entries attached.

How do you make the straightman of the group just as dominant as the crazy one or intelligent one? I always end up falling in the pitfalls as industry writers and just make the dominant crazy intelligent one the driving force of the action while the straightman is shocked at him, reacts in a predictable manner or tries to outcrazy him.

>>38593081
Well, if they are competent they can act as the pony who prevents catastrophes. Say the crazy thinks up some batshit plan to enter a building, only for the straightmare to go "or we could just use the door." Or you could spin this on its head, the straightmare makes a plan which sounds totally reasonable and whatnot and then the others ignore it or put their own spin on it.
Either way, I think the solution lies in how this character interacts with the others, if they can assert themselves then they won't feel like they're just tagging along.

>>38591771
>FiMC = Froglicking inside Mistress Celestia
While this was a joke, are there any stories about licking Mistress Celestia's frogs?
Want me some Domlestia hoof worship

>>38590343
You can't not bring up Hard Reset 2

>>38593123
Rarity does it in the show. Just rewatch that episode.

>>38593128
I kinda want more than just a 2 second clip of kissing.

>>38593133
>he can't clop forever to the same 2 second gif
Pathetic.

>>38593135
There's a difference between can and want, you know
A human can survive on unseasoned rice as practically the only food source (plus maybe some vitamin supplements)

>>38593143
>plus maybe some vitamin supplements
Yeah that's putting it mildly. You can survive on a vegan diet, but 'just rice' is going to turn ugly real fast.

>>38593143
>A human can survive on unseasoned rice as practically the only food source
If you want to have your bones turn into jelly and your teeth fall out even before you go literally retarded, sure. Rice lacks pretty much every single nutrient besides calories.

>>38593150
Vegan diets have the problem of missing multiple essential amino acids

>>38593160
Nevertheless, you can survive.

>>38593184
Survival that compromises your ability to recover is just slow death, anon.

>>38593186
Living, then, is slow death.

>>38593186
Now do you understand why I need detailed Celestial hoof worship stories?

>>38593188
Only after 25. Before, it's slow growth.

>>38593204
Before or after, the end is always death.

>>38593222
Death is an illusion. Your body and your brain are just a tool DNA uses to replicate itself. The same way that your brain is a tool that grew around your gut to help it feed itself. The fanfics you're writing are just a side-effect of how good your brain got at finding food and not becoming food.

You were never really alive as a single entity. You're a collection of cells that live and die, every day. Your whole skin will be a different skin two weeks from now.

The genome is what's really alive, and it refuses to die.
Even when the heat death of the universe comes for it, there will still be intact pieces of genome spread everywhere and preserved for all eternity, encoding the inevitable success of its fight against entropy.
You are merely a temporary vessels, like a skin cell in a larger body.

>>38593235
Everything that lives dies.

>>38593244
In the Game of Life, a glider is alive. And yet, if left to its own purpose, it never dies. So, we know this is not true in other worlds. There is no reason Eternity should not exist.

You may think our own universe is not like that, and that all things must end. However, you cannot prove that.

>>38593128
Uhhhhhh link?

>>38593253
Because to prove it we'd need to live to see it, and we are depressingly finite and soft creatures.

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>>38593261
It's okay, being finite lets us improve.
And soft is good. Just look at this horse!

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>>38593244

>>38593262
We could improve just as well if we weren't finite. Finitude only sets a limit on how far we might go in our lives, presuming we're not ended by means other than nature.

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>>38593268
Sometimes I just look at old people and I find they haven't really changed their way of life for the better in a long time. It's really the world that has changed around them.
But you might be right. I think I'd like if you were.

>>38593284
If we couldn't, we wouldn't now.

>>38593301
Would it be better if the big/popular authors could stay forever (without wanting to quit), even if it makes it harder for newcomers to find their place?
Or is it better to have a little more attrition and fresh writers taking over?
You rarely really see old established authors radically change their style (or when they do, it never really turns out good). So maybe change is good, actually.

>>38593315
Immortality doesn't mean people can't change, and with a body that doesn't slide into total failure their capacity to so do would be far better.

>>38593268
Bitch all deaths are by nature. Magics not fuckin real

>>38593325
Natural implying internal failure rather than, say, getting fucking murdered. You fucking retard.

>>38593326
Getting "Fucking murdered" is still natural causes.
Murder isn't supernatural anon

>>38593324
Yeah, but even with the lifespan people have today, they don't change much.
Why do you suppose that they don't?
Whatever the reason is, if you just made them immortal, that reason wouldn't change.

There's people who still insist on printing out paper maps instead of using GPS, when you can see they're clearly wasting a lot more time.
Even if some people can change, if you make everyone immortal without fixing the problem, you'd still have a majority of those people accumulating forever.

>>38593327
Only you are saying that it is.

>>38593327
Yes, common expressions sometimes doesn't make logical sense if you're splitting hairs. "Natural causes" has a commonly agreed upon meaning and going "but uhh murder is natural too" is practically pointless. Yes, there is nothing supernatural about it, but making a distinction between a timely and untimely death is still useful.

>>38593330
>Why do you suppose that they don't?
I'd say it's because people usually don't need to. Whether you consider it a bad or a good thing, society is pretty flexible at working with very different personalities so as long as you're able to work together with others to a certain extent you don't need to really change yourself in either way.
Obviously there are exceptions to this, but as a general thing I think it applies.

>>38593258
>https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/4/18/2015752.webm
I'd have posted it directly but >le ebin 4chins /mlp/ no sound allowed

>>38593347
Then call it an untimely death

>>38593358
>looks around to make sure no one sees them
>doesn't even make an attempt to stop her though
What did Celestia mean by this?

>>38593390
Pippanon, I...

>>38593330
>There's people who still insist on printing out paper maps instead of using GPS, when you can see they're clearly wasting a lot more time.
Oops, your batteries ran out, you have no map. Meanwhile PAPER DOES NOT RUN ON BATTERIES. Oops, your government decided that you get no GPS today. Meanwhile PAPER IS NOT REMOTELY CONTROLLED.

Is writing just like programming? You need to study each genre individually to get good at it? So if I write a comedy story, I can't be good at pulp fiction, if I write romance I can't be good at action stories?
Are there any genres that blend together and help you indirectly get good at the other?

>>38593480
But Anon, programming is pretty much the opposite. Only a novice learns languages, someone who's any bit good only needs to learn the syntax when learning a new language, the concepts are already in their head.
As to answer your question, I think if you're good at SoL and Adventure, that'll elevate any story you write because such scenes are present in all genres, regardless of whatever story you're writing.

>>38593330
I think there was a similar discussion a couple of weeks ago, that boils down to "our brains are prone to calcifying".
Assuming immortality implies agelesness, so our body doesn't degrade, then one could easily imagine that the brain should also not degrade and be forever 20 years old or whatever. And forever have the capacity to learn and adapt as flexibly as a teen or young adult can.

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>>38593358

>>38585194
Still, both are avatarfagging, and both should just stop. And neither would do it if they weren't attention whores. Oh, and btw, it's against the rules too

>>38593789
So is what you're doing right now.

>>38593485
Can confirm. I learned SQL after passing the job interview. It's been less than a year I'm already the best dev on the team.

>>38593235
We get it, you just read Dawkins for the first time.

>>38593910
>programming languages
>SQL
Begone, database scum.

>>38593966
The man literally invented memes.

>>38593966
I barely know who that is. The name vaguely rings a bell, isn't he known for being euphoric?
I genuinely don't really know who Dawkins is.

>>38594001
In the same way Benjamin Franklin invented electricity.

>>38594000
It's turing compete

>>38594052
So is Magic: the Gathering.
>>38594003
The guy who invented the word Meme.

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>>38594003
Dawkins is a biologist who did a lot of work in genetics. He wrote 'The Selfish Gene' which was fairly influential on evolutionary genetics. He also came up with the idea of memes (the word being a play on mind genes), using the concept as a way to think about how ideas may spread and compete similar to how genes do.

His work in genetics lead him to strongly oppose creationism and 'intelligent design'. He wrote a book called The God Delusion' which is critical of these ideas and arguments for God's existant in general. This caused him to become a sort of boogeyman for Christians and he was their go-to evil atheist for a long time though I think most people have forgotten him for now.

Last I heard about him, the left realized that his arguments against he existance of God and intelligent design also apply to Islam and thus he was cancelled and has most of his humanitarian awards revoked.

And there's your lesson for the day.

>>38594150
>the word being a play on mind genes
Actually; The term meme is a shortening (modeled on gene) of mimeme, which comes from Ancient Greek mīmēma (μίμημα; pronounced [míːmɛːma]), meaning 'imitated thing', itself from mimeisthai (μιμεῖσθαι, 'to imitate'), from mimos (μῖμος, 'mime').

>>38594159
>>38594150
Thanks, he seems actually more interesting than I thought. I'll sleep a little more in the know tonight.

If you want to get some quick writing done, there's a WriteOff event going on this week.
https://writeoff.me/event/225-The-Most-Forbidden-Thing
Just 400~750 words of pone. The deadline is 17 hours from now.

>>38593442
I was speaking generally, saying "Died of natural causes" well no shit sherlock, "Saying died in an untimely manner" is far more specific. Or of course "Died of heart failure" "Died of a stroke" "Died of lead poisoning" etc etc etc are all good replacements for "Died of natural causes"

>>38594825
You were speaking pedantically, overcome by your own autism in the face of a common phrase.

Give me your faggiest fics. I'm talking sexy smexy stallion sex. Balls rubbing, cocks swinging, cum spurting. Stud bodes rubbing against each other with no straightness in sight. The gayest stories you have.

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/188155/corporal-punishment
This one is pretty damn gay. You might've already read it though

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/45373/itsy-blitzy

>>38595457
NTA but according to fimfic I've read both chapter four and five.
What the fuck, I had no idea I was actually gay

>>38595468
>I had no idea I was actually gay
Many such cases.

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/111960/TheVClaw/stories?q=%23mature+&order=latest

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>>38595468
It's just like how Bubble Berry does it in that fanfic. You got one check on the checklist already. Get too many checks you're gay.
Test two: Are you more attracted to the left or the right pony?

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/455028/winners-finish-last

I've had an idea for a story but doubt it exists already.

Start out as a typical Tyrant Celestia story, but turns out she's actually not a tyrant, but ponies are worked up into a frenzy and she has to go into hiding to try and restore balance and find the source of the false rumors while also doing her absolute best to not hurt any pony as they attack her and whatnot, since she's still an immortal sun goddess.

>>38595800
So... Why do ponies think she's a tyrant?

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/66248/stuffed-apple
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/433555/buggery
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/428158/submissive-conversion-treatment
https://twibooru.org/2660049

>>38595811
She was reading Hucklberry Fin out loud and accidentally said the N word. She immediately covered her mouth and appologized right after but it was already too late.

>>38595426
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/487103/gay-smut-but-i-use-the-worse-slang-for-dick-possible

>>38595800
Reminds me vaguely of Synthetic Bottled Sunlight, with Celestia trying to reestablish her good image as other parties work to undermine her

>>38595800

Ponies from less wealthy areas lead by some charismatic leader, like pre reformed Glimmy, into thinking Celestia is actually the bad guy, they form an underground movement that slowly spreads, like a cult, and with the right brainwashing, the cult leader could point at any little thing Celestia does, even complete nonsense that actually means nothing, and say its proof of her corruption, and then telling ponies that their actions are for the good of equestria, they could work into a mob that ransacks the castle, maybe even some guards could be sucked into the cult and used as sleeper agents, and then Celestia, not wanting to hurt her ponies would go into hiding, and ponies that stand up for Celestia would become targets of the mob as well, causing everything to snowball out of control. I would set the story between banishing NMM and the beginning of the show, so Celestia is the only living alicorn, adding to her perceived threat.

So how do I make the perfect title? What's the key? Should it be descriptive, or more cryptic? Shorter, longer? I think a title that's somewhat vague invokes more interest, and makes people more likely to click, but I'm not sure. What do you think?

>>38595963
Usually a pun related to whatever the story is about.

>>38595972
That typically only works for porn

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>>38595963
I choose all my titles entirely by vibes

>>38595963
can you describe the story in a single sentence?

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>>38595980
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/396531/a-bug-on-a-stick

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>>38595963
The ideal title is usually three words or less. Anything above five requires a lot of justification or using a commonly known expression. It should be easy to remember, unique enough not to give many results when searched, and describe the story in some shape or form.
Puns and wordplays are fun, but not nearly as important as being, for lack of a better word evocative. For instance:
>___
"The Moon" immediately tells you it's a Moonhorse story. "Apprentice" tells you it's about her relationship with another pony and it doesn't exactly take a philosopher to realize due to the tutor-student thing, it's most likely Twilight.
>Background Pony
Arguably a ton more vague than the previous example, but it immediately tells you it's about one of the background characters and also evokes a slight sense of melancholy.
>Hard Reset
It implies the time-travel and if you put on your most pretentious glasses, the term "hard reset" also means to forcefully cut the power to some appliance and then restart it, so it invokes a sense of violence and being unnatural.

Of course the list goes on, I just wanted to pick out some random examples to make my post a bit more useful. Personally I think titles are almost, if not as, hard as writing the story itself because you have to pick something that describes several thousand, if not tens of thousands, words in a single sentence. It's perfectly fine to struggle with it and it's well-worth putting in the time to find the right one.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/515810/bug-in-a-blizzard
amogus

>>38596285
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/476373/blizzard-filly
Hard counter.

>>38596292
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/356180/a-good-filly
Unexpected counter.

>>38596302
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/481104/a-good-mare
Expected counter.

>>38595800
Stardust Celestia except she IS actually a tyrant due to a mental compulsion, the story is about how she gets cursed by Discord to be physically unable to hurt anyone - and as revealed in Mente Materia, that DOES include herself, taking her out of the action until the curse is lifted - and overcomes this with friendship.

>>38595478
Why can't I have both? Dash is obviously hotter, but that's a really nice sack.

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>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/511290/hot-dam
'Hot Dam' is a three thousand and nine hundred-word oneshot. It features one day of Bundle Joy, a surrogate mother.
Now, I must admit that by myself I don't think I would have ever clicked on this story. The way the author portrays pregnancy is not very appealing to me personally. However, I've received a very polite request and found the story interesting enough to talk about, so here we are.
The story's prose is probably the thing that moved me the most. I cannot with a good heart call it anything but purple, because almost every single line is full of metaphors and other literary devices, hell the story even breaks into long alliteration at one point, but I personally found this surprisingly enjoyable. There is only so many ways you can say that "the mare was pregnant" and so the author's reliance on phrasing it in creative ways is admirable. There is only one instances where I think the prose went overboard and I kind of rolled my eyes (that being the "weathering the weather" line, which I thought was a bit too self-gratuitous and pretentious) but otherwise I found it engaging enough.
As for the plot itself, well, I'm scratching my head what to say. This is one of those fetish stories that feature nothing particularly explicit - the most being innuendos and teasing - and instead focus on the depiction of a fairly low-stakes SoL day of the protagonist, while placing the spotlight firmly on their state. Basically there is no real conflict in the story and the entirety of it is spent largely in a few locations with the surrogate mother talking to her foal, innocently teasing stallions, and even a colt, while taking baths. Again, since this particular fetish doesn't move me at all, I cannot comment on how effective it is in terms of causing arousal, but what I can say for sure is that this isn't exactly the sort of story you'd want to read for its riveting action, because there is none of that.
On a technical level I do have to applaud the amount of detail that went into the story, however. I've found the scene where the main character talks with the couple quite nicely written. All the advice she gives to them sounds very logical and, for lack of a better term, realistic for such a setting.
Overall: 5/10 I'm conflicted. On one hand, I'm certain that if the author were to write a story not about pregnancy, I'd most likely love it due to their vivid style. On the other, due to the choice of topic, I was left largely disinterested and while not exactly bored, there was little to nothing here that engaged me. I guess, if you're into this particular fetish I can easily recommend this story. It doesn't spare detail and care, and I have absolutely no doubts about the author being very invested and passionate about their stories. However, if you're not, unless you're willing to read a story only for its prose and put up with the rest, there is not much to see here for the average reader.

>>38595963
I cheat by coming up with evocative titles first (usually by stealing them from song lyrics) and then inventing a story around that.

>>38596723
So you're a Johnny Silverhand? All quest names after he ends in your head are song names or references to songs, before they're blunt stuff like "The Plan". Fallout: New Vegas's quests are also all songs, but that doesn't have a defined character to pin the blame on.

>>38596930
>person likes music
>it's just like bideo gaim chonky silberhund wholesome keanu chungus 100
Anon

>>38595959
Glimmy's Seventy Seven Inflexible Doctrines

>>38595986
How is that a pun?

>>38597236
ESL spotted