Previous thread: >>37851896Ponepaste links are busted, for now. Maybe. Possibly. They seem like they might be working!Google Doc Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYsFauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Remember not to save anything of value on pastebin.Have a broken pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in
>>37876685That's some king shit
>>37876674I want Luna to be a creepy weirdo because I was the first creature outside her sister to give her a hug, and 1000 years of isolation means you really lose track of what's appropriate in a social situation.
happy turkey day, anonsremember to remind the griffons that today's anuddah shoah for them
>>37876738I want Anon to make uncomfortable eye-contact with Gilda as he eats turkey. It would be like those predator/prey fetish posts only not completely shit, meaning that it wouldn't feature the predator/prey fetish at all.
>>37876685There is any coco greens?Ponepaste is not the perfect archive so there is a lot of greens lost.
I choose to believe that LaP will return to us in this thread to finish out his 40k story. I choose to believe this.
Here's to hoping the Horse Anon green comes back.
>>37876773Impregnating tiny bat mare.
>>37876783That sounds amazing, I'd like to do that too. Maybe you're at the castle and Luna's night guard crawls into your bed because she thinks she heard you having a nightmare.
>>37876773i totally forgot about that green, it was pretty cool actually.I hope the anon who made it is okay.
>>37876749Sont some birds alao eat other birds? Like chickens?So maybe she'd just get turned on from that.
>>37876783MILF Pike! MILF Pike!
How's Anonicorn and family thanksgiving ?What they are giving thanks for ?
>>37876789>You wake up to the sensation of fur on bare skin>A little mare is wrapped around your chest>You can feel her swishing tail brush up against your thighs>Armor is discarded on the floor>She has the decency to grin sheepishly>"I heard a noise in here and thought you were in danger. A-And then I came in, and thought you might be having a nightmare.">It's too damn early for this>Wrap your arms around her>Go back to sleep>Blueblood, the gossip-fiend that he is, somehow knows about your bed-friend before you or she leave the bedroom the following morningHow are stallions so good at gossip?
>>37876866Hmm, I'd assume Celestia would very much be thankful that not only is her little sister back much earlier than planned but it was because of her little green bean.Luna always wanted to be an Aunt so that one is obvious.Anon wanted a loving family and he got that.
>>37876874Adorable.>How are stallions so good at gossip?Turns out that stallions have a magic based organ called "Gossip" in them that allows them to sort of sense drama in the area.
God Anon Green where?
>>37876955in your heart Anon, in your heart
>>37876874>Half the noble colts think you're a slut for giving it up outside of herdlock>The other half think you're in a "tame the beast" situation with "a savage (but passionate) vampony", and it's a whirlwind romance, and it's just SOOOOOO romantic>You aren't even sure you know what this mare's name is
If this mare wanted to shove your face into her tuft and tell you to either get busy cookin' or get busy fuckin', the maretriarchy would prevent you from doing anything about it. Which is why it needs to be smashed!
>>37877393>be apelien from a different dimension>be in talking tiny horse land>talking tiny horse demands you either cook or fuck her>tfw you actually like cooking>tfw you look at the tiny horse's ass and realize, a hole is a hole>if only screamy tiny horse would shut up about you liking soft hugs and many fugs and cooking for your talking tiny horse wife>life's bretty gud
Hey, I want to write some greenies but I haven't the faintest idea how to do green styling. Help a fellow out?
>>37877499read more green
>>37877499Just write stream of consciousness but make sure its a characters consciousness.
>>37877512>Basanite>Boninite>Kimberlite>Lamproite >Pumice>Pumice>. . . I need Anon's penis inside of me>Claystone >Marl >Wackestone >Flint>Claystone >Claystone >Gneiss>Whiteschist>Amphibolite>Migmatite
>>37877505I should have been clearer, I don't know how to make the text green nor do I know how to properly space the sentences if I copy paste them from my writing program. It gets all shorts of fucked up when I try and I don't want to throw a mess of text on the board and give people eyesores.
>>37877548to make green text appearput > at the start of your textas for copy and paste, I'd recommend pasting as plain text, and posts have a maximum number of characters you can put on them. so if you're over it'll tell you
>>37877559Perfect, thank ye kind Sir!
>>37877537>"These are all rocks that I like.">"They are all very hard.">"Marble suggested that I tell you that I suspect your penis is harder than all of those rocks combined.">"But the mohs scale of mineral hardness does not work that way.">"So I won't.">"...">"I need your penis inside of me."
>>37877537"Maud, you named Pumice twice, and Claystone thrice.">"I really like those rocks, Anon""Wait, isn't Pumice a mineraloid, not a rock?">"I love it when you talk dirty Anon. Put your human penis inside my horse vaginal cavity."
>>37877587>As you hid behind the barn door you marveled at the forthright propositions of your eldest sisterGoddess above was your face burningYou shuddered to think what your father would say were he to hear such slanderous words from his daughterThe poor hyoo-man seemed unbearably lost under the enduring assault of your sisterTalks of eruptions and lava flows left your ears taintedHow he could withstand such foul words was beyond you, any colt would have fainted dead in shock were they to hear it!Were you a braver, stronger mare you would have marched out to insist your sister cease her vulger displayT'wasn't right for a Pie to act in such an uncouth mannerBut you weren'tThe mere sight of your refection was enough to make you cringe backWhat to do? Pondering your best course of action you endured another round of Mauds rock innuendos, leaving a deep sense of discomfort within your chestThe last time Maud had been so forthright with the fairer sex had been at one of Pinkies parties, where the laid back atmosphere and liquor had her on the hunt...that's it!Pinkie! She'd know what to do...hopefullyAt the very least she could give the poor hyoo-man an escapeOr make it worse
>>37877756>Or make it worse
>There's a language barrier that you've struggled to overcome.>Your Equestrian is rough at best.>Because of that, you hesitate when a mare occasionally hits on you, since trying to tell if they're genuine is difficult and you've been baited by cruel women on Earth enough to be cautious.>But neither do you want to be alone...>Get a wild idea. With all of Equestria's kooky magic, it might just work.>Wander around town quietly singing a half-remembered lovesong to yourself.>The ponies don't understand the words, but they can tell it's a duet from the pauses. Some try to join only to falter.>Eventually, one mare perks up as you pass and sings back in perfect English without even realizing it.>Its only afterward does she realize just what she sang.>Got em.
People that make threads early are total faggots
>>37877537>tfw no cummingtonite
>>37877915Unfortunately that ones that make them on time are retarded instead.
>>37877925If it weren't for the cheerimac retard more people would be comfortable with waiting until page 8 or 9 before making the next thread.
>>37877931>If it weren't for based cheerimac we'd have to endure dozens of "new thread where" posts each thread because the thread is full of leeches and retardsFTFY
>>37877910>It makes a cosmic sort of sense that your harebrained idea to game magic into leading you to your ideal marefriend would go awry.>”Dad! He’s a ‘human’. You could at least pronounce it right!”>”Honey, please, just quiet down while we talk...”>During your Equestrian lessons, you heard about Heartsongs while grabbing any book you could to read at the Ponyville library. The magic, fit for a fairytale, stunned you at first. It seemed too good to be true.>Perhaps it was loneliness setting in, or maybe you were annoyed with yourself that you couldn't tell if the desire from your sparse number of suitors was genuine, or maybe you got selfish and wanted to take advantage of your place as the fairer sex, but you tried to invoke a Heartsong.>And it worked.>As you sang, your heart thundered and your face flushed. Through your veins flowed an excitement you haven’t felt since your years as a teenager, back when you took your first stabs at romance. It was wonderful, euphoric even.>Then a beautiful voice answered back, and those rolling emotions inside of you flared to a height that almost choked you. Nevertheless, you answered back again.>The duet lead you through the morning crowd in Ponyville’s market, and right into the hooves of a breathtaking mare.>You were learning to appreciate the alien aesthetics of ponies, but her?>Her soft coat...>Her shining eyes...>Her downy wings and fluffy tuft...>Her graceful figure, one teeming with both youth and fertility...>...Fertility especially considering the endowments between her hind legs...>All at once, you took her in and saw perfection. No female across either world you’re known can compare to her. >Cloudy Night is a dark-themed angel. 1/4
>>37878243>”I can’t believe it!” Cloudy declared, looking up at you with teary eyes. Deep in her pupils, tiny pink hearts glowed brightly. “I-I found you! I won’t be alone anymore!”>She darted up with a flap of her wings and pressed her muzzle to your mouth in a kiss that made your knees weak and heart soar. It's as if her lips and yours were tailor-made just for that moment. You wrapped your arms around her and held her close, savoring the warmth of her body and ignoring the happy cheers of the ponies in the market.>”This is the best birthday present I think I’ll ever get...” Cloudy murmured to you.“Oh? How many... years?” Your Equestrian comes out sounding like tumbling rocks, but you get your point across. >”Sixteen.”>You only narrowly averted a heart attack.>After seeing you and her unite via a Heartsong, no witnesses cared about that fact at all. Her family, though?>Her mother seemed happy, even proud.>Her father?>Your new lifemate’s father looks at you with his muzzle head high, somehow looking down upon you despite you being nearly twice his height. The stained apron he wears does nothing to detract from how imposing he looks.>You understand. You’re certain that if a teenaged you brought an alien woman in her twenties home and said “Meet my new fiance” that your mother would lose her mind while your dad would clap you on the back.>Next to him on the couch, Cloudy’s mother wisely keeps her mouth shut before her husband, but she meets her daughter’s eyes with happiness.>Your Beloved huffs. “Dad, I’m not a filly, okay?!” She raises a hoof and lays it on your leg. Only narrowly do you resist the urge to put your hand on it and potentially make her father angier. “Anon and I shared a Heartsong together. You KNOW what that means.”>Her father’s frown deepens. “Honey, I’m just concerned about this is all,” he says, voice quiet and disarming. “I’m sure Mister Anon is very nice, but that doesn’t mean I want a -” he cuts himself off and mulls over his words. “...Strange stallion all over my daughter. I love you, honey, and I worry sometimes..”2/4
>>37878244>Your Beloved’s brow furrows, and she takes a breath to retort.>You’ve known her for only an hour, but already you know what she’s going to say, and it makes panic surge to life inside of you.>Before the words ‘He loves me more than you’ can be fired off, you quickly dart your hand out and pinch your Beloved’s muzzle shut between your finger and thumb.>Oh no. Teenage impulsiveness is something you’re going to need to get used to, isn’t it?>She looks at you with confusion, but doesn’t fight.“Sir,” you begin, trying to sound sincere, but your accent makes everything seem like a grumble. “Cloudy and I... Are genuine. Would you like proofs?”>Logicly, a Heartsong should work more than once with your lifemate, right? Maybe even a song that isn’t a love-song at all might work? >Your potential father-in-law crosses his forelegs. “I’m waiting.”You take a deep breath and mentally swap over to English as you let Cloudy’s muzzle go. “A world away, a life adrift~” you hold the last words. “I’ve gone astray and lost my way~”>Cloudy’s ears perk up and her mouth begins moving. “Wandering through a crowd, gone but never found~.” Her voice is devoid of the cracks and uncertainty of youth, and her words are clear English despite not knowing the tongue at all. “I’ve gone astray and lost my way~”“Maybe it was chance, maybe it was fate, but when I saw those eyes, the path became straight~” You grimace at how ugly your voice is compared to Cloudy’s.>”Had no idea what I was missing, so lost was I~” Your Beloved looks at you with a smile, the pink hearts once more in her eyes.“But it all became clear, like a flash of light~” You take another breath and get ready, leaning in towards her.>”That I wasn’t living ‘til I crossed paths with you~!” Both you and her sing as one. “Maybe it was chance, maybe it was fate, but when I saw those eyes, the path became straight~! I kissed you once and knew it to be right~! Just one touch and my heart was set alight~!” >”With you at my side, the road’s become clear, and I walk forward without a bit of fear~” Cloudy nuzzles you with a wide grin.3/4
>>37878246“I thought love to be an old traveler's tale, one I thought would always fail, but here with you, I see it now~...”>”The trail here is better hand-in-hand!” You both finish together.>Emotions without any name boil in your veins as you stare into Cloudy’s sapphire eyes. What were you doing here again? Cloudy is here, so you don’t really care what else is going on. You’re too focused on the soft fur between your hands, the sweet breath tickling your lips, and the lucious black mane that tickles your forehead.>”Ahem!”The sharp sound breaks you out of your mare-induced trance, so you turn to see who made the noise.>There, you find Cloudy’s resigned father, her ecstatic mother, and two other beaming mares in the living room doorway with gaping fillies and a single colt at their hooves.>”Hell yeah, kiddo!” One of the other mares laughs. “Way to bag one!”>Are these Cloudy’s herdmoms and siblings?>Your Beloved’s face blushes a furious red after realizing how many ponies just heard and saw such an intimate moment. >Cloudy’s father lets out a long-suffering sigh, but under that he seems relieved. “Be up bright and early tomorrow, sweety,” he mutters. “We have to go to town hall for your marriage certificate.”4/4I dunno how to right songs so just imagine how it sounds
>>37878249>I dunno how to right songs so just imagine how it soundsBy listening to the classics in their entirety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh7lp9umG2I
>>37878224t. cheerimac retard
>>37878249>Big teat goth marefriend>Top tier cuteNof I love you
>>37878249Based NOF and his drive-by green-posting
>>37877098I like thing.
>>37878249This put a boner in my heart, pant and soul.
>>37878249>I dunno how to right songs so just imagine how it soundsEasy hack is to toss some rhymes in, kinda reminded me ofhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgreNZdgdbwGood stuff regardless.>you quickly dart your hand out and pinch your Beloved’s muzzle shut between your finger and thumb.hnng
>mare is mute.>It sucks sometimes but she doesn't let it make make miserable.>she only fears to herself that her soul mate could come by singing a heart song and she couldn't respond. Leaving her doomed to be alone.
>>37878562AaahhhhhhhhhhhWhy would you do that to my heart?!Now I'm just imagining her hearing anon sing, and here heart tells her to join in but all she gets out are a few pained whimpers as she starts to cry and run home.Question is, does Fate/Harmony work around crippled ponies or are those just out of luck for finding love/doing jobs/etc?
>>37877621>Anon correcting Maud that their is a difference between rocks and minerals>Maud struggling not to crossbow-marry the human right there>"No stallion on Equestria has much as knowledge about rocks as you Anon"But that's just simple geology facts>"Exactly. Now whisper to me about how igneous rock forms you beautiful creature."
>>37878718>>37878562>Her hoof was tapping long before she realised what was happening.>As the musical score reaches her ears, that feeling filled her heart, the yearning that burned in her soul that wanted, no NEEDED to released, to find her other half.>Yet it was tainted by the knowledge that'd she'd never be able to do so, nothing more than a quiet strained whimper leaving her throat.>Still, her heart would not be denied as she found her hooves moving of their own accord, stepping to the ethereal beat of magic itself even as she waited in dread for her part in the duet to begin.>Would it hurt when she couldn't respond? Or would it merely feel empty?>She's not sure which would be worse, even as she looked all around and strained her ears to catch the sound of someone singing, calling, searching for a partner that will never respond.>And then she saw him across the way, a strange gentlecolt dancing to the same song as she, looking bemused and laughing as a small crowd formed around him.>Their eyes lock as he comes out of a twirl and she feels a spark that travels down her spine straight to her hooves, pulling her toward him as if magnetized.>As the crowd parts to let the pair meet, they speak not a word as they briefly bow to one another and continue dancing as a pair.>They'll be time for talking later, for the hows and whys and whos, but for now the beating of two hearts, the rhythm of two souls saying all that is needed in the moment as they step and twirl and dance together, never to dance alone again.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIoTpeM6o2A
>>37878562Goddamit man, not the feels.>>37878718Hold on bro, I've got you covered.>After a rough landing, cultural clash and a high learning curve, Anon is fairly familiar with with pony culture, including the herding and (to him) reversed gender roles aspect.>Being a kissless virgin he is, now surrounded by a sea of thirsty mares, he realizes that he will either becomes the town's bicycle or the local equivalent of a celibate monk.>He wants none of these, so using his knowledge and all the help he can get from the friends he made along the way, he looks into a sure-fire way of finding his true love, a soul-mate, if you will.>It doesn't take long to find out about heart songs and how they connect two ponies on the deepest levels.>Not being gifted with a singing voice, at all, he's shy about trying to sing; Te fact that he doesn't know any lovesongs - for the reason of not being a fag - he is left clueless about what to do.>He knows there must be a way to approach this, however, he just can't see it.>Then he realizes that a heart song is not about singing, it's about music itself resonating in perfect harmony with two interconnected souls, bridging the distance between them so they can join together in perfect unison.>Well, he might sound like a drowning donkey braying if he tries to sing, but he can, and by this land's horse shaped god, WILL go above and beyond with all of the musical instruments at his disposal!>A week later Anon is done trying to learn over a dozen different instrument, finding their decidedly non-human layout basically useless to him.>The only things he really didn't give much hope for are the percussion instruments, such as drums and... a xylophone?>Intrigued, he taps the drums and bars and feels a spark.>This is it, this might be just the thing!>Not so far from him, in the same building but in the soundproofed basement level, a mute musician mare does her best to work out a new song, but it just doesn't want to click.>Then her ears perk up.
>>37878883>Something just happened... she can't quite put a hoof on it, but...>There it is again, her ears twitch, trying to follow a sound that just isn't there!>She goes still, turning off the mixing table.>A note? >And another one.. >It's feeling... just right!>She quickly fires up the various musical machines around her and searches for the samples she knows WILL fit.>In just a few rushed seconds she's playing the... half of a ong that sends her heart aflutter.>But something is missing, clearly missing and yet, /it's there./>She feels something tugging at her very soul, leading her up and above.>Wait, could it be?>Eyes going wide as the realization for something amazing hits her, she gallops to and kicks the soundproofed doors open, hearing the percussion instruments just barely enough to complete her half of the song.>And it brings totally marely tears to her eyes.>With her equipment bolted down and therefore impossible to move, she does the second best thing and ups the volume, even if it hurts her ears.>The drumming and xylophone playing gets louder as well, however, after a moment of pause, seems to get closer?>As the song, which she now realizes is her heart song, reaches its peak, the clearly moving other half's player appears in the door of the basement floor.>The strangest creature, like a minotaur but leaner, taller, and very well dressed.>Playing the drums and xylophone, hastily strapped onto him.>His eyes meets hers.>This is it, he is The One.>"And that's how I met your mother!" Anon explains to his children, to the collective groan of his daughters and joyous squeal of his only son.>The mare in his arms, his soul-mate and mother of his children rolls her eyes and chuckles, nuzzling into his side.>Then she puts a kazoo to her mouth and makes a series of almost talking like noises.>"Yes Vinyl, I love you too." Anon replies, smooching her.Mwhahahaha! You thought it would be a feelsy, happy story! But it was Kazoo Vinyl, it was Kazoo Vinyl all along!Inspired by the good ol' Animusic track, Stickfigures: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkVXNjlh3RY
>>37878885>Kazoo vinylI love you but you're a cheeky cunt m8.
>>37878224>When I see someone say "new thread where" it makes me want to kill myself!Should have gone through with it.
>all these people talking about heart songs and what not>inb4 anon ends up with a Kauai O'o Bird situationhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5THqAY3u5oY
>>37878885>mute>plays kazoohow does that work again?
>>37878249>Anon realizes that dating a teen does, in fact, have downsides>Anon now has to navigate Angsty Teen Drama(tm)
>>37879307I assume mute people can still hum.Probably depends on what kind of mute.
>>37878249I LOVE IT
>>37879307Shh, don't question it.
>>37879240>Humans aren't built for magic>It doesn't affect them at all>Too the point that even the glow of unicorn horns is invisible to the human eye>Anon can see the effects of magic on other things though>He could hear a guitar being plucked with a unicorns telekinesis, taste the fruits grown and nourished with earth pony magics, and watch the pegasi fly with their too small wings>In fact today he had heard and seen the most interesting thing>He had been shopping through the market when a small mare, cute as a button, began singing to him>It had been a nice song, structured like a duet, but he hadn't known the words>Why would she think he'd know the words?>For as weird as it was he wished he'd at least asked her about it before she ran off crying
>>37879563>Anon can't see magic>Dispise his time in equestria where he saw or heard of most magical things Anon don't know about heart song >concept better explore before >cringe pic5/10 promp
>>37879563> Anon can't see magic> The Equestrian sun is magic> Anon can't see a anything
>>37879648>luna's face when, at least for one person, the night did last forever
>>37879648Reminds me of that old prompt in which Equestria's sun was a magical construct, giving off little light like a red dwarf, so when Anon got there he would see a very dim world, one that's barely lit for him to see at all. Imagine a night illuminated by the full moon, except its light is a deep orange instead of white.This also explains why the ponies have so big eyes to begin with. Letting in more light...
>>37878807I like this ALOT. Wouldn't happen to have anymore inspiration for this green in the tank anon?
>>37879877>The relatively high profile nature of the event "Local Alien performs heartsong" alongside the fact it was the first one in recorded history to be performed without vocals, means a lot of attention was put on the couple, particularly the mare's condition.>Through a heartwarming series of events worthy of higher dimensional theater lasting around 22 minutes, the mare is presented with an artificial voice box, a heavily enchanted gemstone contained within a setting she can wear around her neck as either a pendant or a choker, depending on the occasion.>Hearing 'her' voice for the first time brought tears to her eyes, even if she couldn't pronounce any recognisable words, being able to produce simple sounds was enough for her.>This did mean elocution lessons but compared to not speaking at all they were a small price to pay (Particularly when your coltfriend is friends with one of the princesses of equestria whose own friend still kept in contact with her old tutor, hooray for connections).>Unfortunately, said tutor was much more accustomed to working with young, teenaged at most, foals who occasionally needed discipline and were often able to grasp the lessons extraordinary quickly, given that it was a simple matter of adjusting an unruly accent.>Not so much for a grown mare who needed to learn how to talk from square 0.>Anon went along to the lessons to offer emotional support as well as practice his own language skills.>It mostly shifted to emotional support when the pair released how much of a hard-ass the tutor was, both sides generally leaving sessions frustrated.>All comes to a head one day when the tutor tries to make her repeat the same nonsensical tongue twister for the twelfth time, Anon making exaggerated faces behind the colt's back as the tutor reads from his phrase book before handing it to the formerly mute mare.>The pair share a look as the mare reads the first line.>"Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but moses supposes erroneously.">Anon takes the book from his marefriend"But Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses, As Moses supposes his toeses to be!">Anon tosses the book over his shoulder with a clap as they both circle the confused stallion, them both speaking in unison as they repeat it again, long having memorised the line from sheer repetition.>Anon kneels down and spins the concerned stallion around to face him."A mose is a mose!">The mare wraps a hoof around the tutors shoulder next, her gemstone glowing brightly as she gestures theatrically.>"A rose is a rose!">Anon matches her pose"A toes is a toes!">Anon springs to his feet as a musical score springs from the aether as they both sing out in unison>"Hoop-ti dood-ie doodle!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFAlZttXfvE>Rarity was later sent a letter from her former teacher concerning the pair's conduct and the couple apologised for getting carried away, but said they'd figure it out on their own from now on.
>all this heartsong stuffYou know what'd be fucked up? You're happily dating a mare, you love each other and shit, and then one day you hear the most beautiful song you've ever heard, and it's coming from some random mare in the crowd.
>>37880035>>Through a heartwarming series of events worthy of higher dimensional theater lasting around 22 minuteskek
>>37880053yeah that mare is a great singer, but nothing that would make me just drop my current mf that I love and shithumans are free being, not bounded or guided by harmony's will
>>37880053We aren't nmpniggers; herds are fine.
>>37880087but both mares are cadenzeans
>>37880053That's always been an absolute shit take on the concept.You cant have 'destiny' both exist in the form of heartsongs and destined soulmates, and then not exist in the form of allowing the sequence of events where a heartsong will break up an otherwise happy relationship.It's retarded and pointless tragedy except in an extreme edge case like a set of friends go on a double date and end up with the others partner after a shared musical number and they all laugh about it afterwards.>>37880087>>37880053Oh. It's you again, dont you ever get tired of trying to stir shit?
>>37880095He's autistic. Think of him as rgr's very own Barneyfag.
>>37880095>allowing the sequence of events where a heartsong will break up an otherwise happy relationship.why that would negate the concept of destiny and soulmates ?
>>37880112Because "It's your Destiny to get fucked over by Destiny" fucking sucks and it's not fun to read about or write for except in edge cases, especially for a concept that's supposed to be heart-warming.It's like walking into a conversation about people discussing looking after their foals and loudly asking "You know what'd be fucked up? You're happily dating a mare, you love each other and shit, and then your firstborn is still born."The people interested in a heart-warming concept generally aren't interested in it's subversion my dude.
Sunn please come back
>>37880143destiny don't mean all with be smiles and you can get in a happy relation with someone that not THE ONE and just because going with destiny demands you to make tough choices or sacrifices don't mean that you are getting fucked over> it's not fun to read speak for yourself just because something isn't pure happiness and wish fulfillment doesn't means it isn't fun
>How to deal with perverted mares
>>37880147You got more than enough from that story. It wasn't going anywhere. Cope.
>>37880168Nigga have you ever heard of punctuation? You might want to learn about that before you start trying to pitch ideas.
>Batmare tries to find her soulmate with a Heartsong.>No luck much to her dismay.>Then she gets an idea.>She leaves her batpony community to Canterlot and tries again.>Again, no takers.>She sighs and head back to the train to go home.>Then she hears an absolutely beautiful voice in the wind and her heart races. In her Heart of Hearts, she KNOWS it's for her.>She sings back, but is quickly disappointed when there is no reply. >The male out there sings another line, and she replies back again, but again no instant reply.>Then she realizes what is going on and feels like a bonehead.>Her pitch is too high. Only batponies can hear her.>She lowers her pitch and sings into the wind, and lo and behold, her love out there in the city sings back, his voice full of hope.>She doesn't care at all that her soulmate ends up being a tall, janefilly monkey. There is only a few heartsongs a year in Equestria, and she's one of them!
>>37880330I hope that's not sarcastic, because I love me some heart-song soulmate stories.
>>37880298>trying to pitch ideasreading comprehension anon, i didn't pitch any idea you retard
>>37880355heart-song shouldn't be something you can choose to do, you can't just choose to sing an expect someone to respondheart-songs just happens, a magic of the moment
>>37880320>Batmare can't find her non-bat soulmate because she was EEEEEEEEEing the whole timeMy god, how adorable.
>>37880035>>Through a heartwarming series of events worthy of higher dimensional theater lasting around 22 minutes, the mare is presented with an artificial voice box, a heavily enchanted gemstone contained within a setting she can wear around her neck as either a pendant or a choker, depending on the occasion.>artificial voice boxso one of those throat-hole buzzers smokers get?
>>37880367Yeah, that's why main problem with those greens.If you can just decide "today I'm gonna sing my heartsong", then every single fucking mare in equestria should be screaming 24/7 until they get some dick from it.
I don't think we talk enough about how warm and soft mares are.
>>37880431Sure, but like, not shit, so it's her actual voice reconstructed via magic.Which also inadverantly taps into song-magic.
>>37880370>>37880320>bats get a reputation for domestic disputes because heartsong EEEEing is audibly indistinguishable from battle EEEEing to normal ponies
>Bitter Theatre Stallion sings duets from musicals in public>Mares join in, hoping it's heart song >He immediately shifts to the Fresh Princess of the Crystal Empire solo
>>37880444>every single fucking mare in equestria should be screaming 24/7 until they get some dickthat could be a fun green
>>37880359Sorry, I can't read nonsense.
>>37878249Shits good. Feeds the burning hole in my heart
>>37880444Reminds me of that prompt someone did a few threads back that was anon complaining about the birds outside his window, but it turned out to be rainbow dash just screaming for some cock.
>>37880444>Most places have a noise ordnance for singing.>Exceptions include but aren't limited to legitimate bands playing in public places, flash concerts directed by wild Magic, and successful Heartsongs.>If you're trying your luck with a Heartsong, you should keep your voice to manageable level. If Magic decides that it's the right place and time, then your soulmate is going to hear you even if the distance is bonkers. If you get a reply, then feel free to sing your heart out.>Its not much of an issue, because walking around singing all the time makes you look desperate, and Equestria only has a handful of successful Heartsongs a year anyway.
>>37880444Trips confirm: horny mares are randomly trying to (badly) sing in the middle of the streets.... which give another explanations for stallions hiding during heat season: it's just to not get their tympanis murdered by dumb mares hoping that full volume & point blank range will somehow help to kick-start their heartsong.
>>37880542I'm a sucker for pegasi behaving like retarded birds, always hilarious.
>Every time a stallion passes by, lonely mares will sing out, "Shave and a haircut", hoping for a reply of "two bits"
>>37880444>Wake up to the sound of twelve mares off key >singing an hour before your alarm>Go to work, can't focus because your boss is >caterwauling around the office floor>Give up waiting in line at Jenny's for lunch >when several pimply teens march in singing >the latest Heartsong to hit number one on the >charts>Stay up till eleven as your two neighbors try >to sing over each other>Repeat That would be hell
>>37880581>You got, *deep inhale* FAAAAAAAAT NUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!>>Please stop
>>37880355Heart-song shit nearly inevitably devolves into whoa posting with anons posting their shit taste in music as their heartsongs. Cope.
>>37879660>Luna keeps "accidently" bumping her rump into Anon>"Oh dear! Mayhaps a colt like thee needs someone who could navigate the night like I do?"
>Over her multi thousand year life, Celestia has never heard a heartsong that reached out to her.>Countless stallions and more than a few mares have come to her with songs they made themselves, only to fail out.>And all the relationships she tried regardless either fizzled out or ended in tragedy.>After many hundreds of years, she simply forced a smile and resigned herself to be alone. Maybe it was a sign, she thinks. That she's to serve Equestria without silly distractions like love. It's for lesser ponies.>Imagine her surprise when she's out for a walk one day, and a strange melody catches her ear over the street noise.>A low, alien tounge it is, but her blood burns and her soul reaches desperately for the male voice on the wind. The words aren't Equestrian, but the meaning of each one blazes as bright as her sun in her mind.>A pause.>Her heart races.>It's her turn.>Her voice flows into words she never knew before, each filled with longing for the first singer. The air thums with magic older than even the alicorns.>She pauses, her senses straining and the rest of the busy world forgotten.>...More lines find her ears, each word filled with hesitation and hope. It's the most beautiful thing to ever grace the Princess.>The world brightens and her heart swells.>Decorum is forgotten as the Princess spreads her wings and abandons the startled guards around her.>She must find her other half at all costs!-->Far away from Canterlot, a man blinks as he nervously sings back to the angelic voice in the distance in his own language.>She replies back, finishing her line perfectly, sending warmth radiating through his chest.>Did... Did it work? Just who is it that seems to be closing in on him?
>>37880649That song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk5y4wvsLyY
>>37880655No. Pony music always has a dance element to it, it's not just a song. So you need something that's choreographed as well.>>37880649Clearly anon is a slav of some sort: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDFBTdToRmw
>>37880035When I posted the mute mare can't sing post i was thinking of this song and her dancing to it instead of singing.
>>37880649The absolute fuckin upheaval this would cause would be unreal. The Princess of the Sun, the unspoken Goddess-Queen of Equestria finding a soulmate in an alien of lived the life of a commoner would throw the entire noble class into a shitfit for the ages. Imagine being a groveling, backstabbing snake in the grass for generations hoping to get a place in Celestia's private court. Maybe some had sons for the specific purpose of trying to sing a Heartsong to a princess. Then Celestia leaves one day and comes back married by way of True Love, and suddenly this janefilly thing with no idea how a kingdom or nobility works is above you.The rage would be unreal. Anon would need an elite guard detail 24/7 just to ward away ponies who would rather see him in a shallow grave.
>>37880718this assuming Anon wouldn't be a dense sperg that he would take the song seriously and simply go on with Celestia, accepting his new position in lifealso that Celestia would accept backstabing nobles in her court and wouldn't use some soul searching magic bs in the vetting process
>>37880649Imagine singing to your soulmate and the most angelic response you've ever heard comes from high above you.>look up>see this
>>37880785I hate heartsongshit, but I also really like that pic. Early mlp fandom really produced some great art.
>>37880785>Instantly kills myself to avoid being with c*lestia
>>37880785>immediately stop singing and try to hide before I get myself dragged into some magical or political nonsense
>>37880819It's cool, they're retiring.
>>37880800Welp, your lose.Celly a large qt mare that needs a large human to cuddle
>>37880904She can cuddle a bundle of C4 fashioned in my likeness.
>>37880800>>37880819... you do realize whatever you think you know & hate about them must be wrong if they are your soulmate?Like, by definition they would be the 100% best possible horse for (you), and you would be the best possible husband for them. Yes, that probably include whatever casual or sexual shit you are thinking right now as a gotcha.It's soulmate shit.Doesn't mean everything will be perfect on everything at every second, but you will by definition not find an happier life with any other horse.Fuck, even *I* would even be willing to give Nyx or Glimmer the benefit of the doubt in that situation.
>>37880930I'd rather die, or more likely, kill her. Freeing ponykind from the cringe scourge of immortals.
>>37880930that assumes that I trust the magic and that I'm OK with and ready for such serious relationship
>>37880941Be edgy will get you no where, being nasty however will likely garner a response to the bait.
>>37880955Eh the bit's kind of run out of steam at this point. But I would honestly rather kill myself than live with a character I view as annoying and useless as my soul mate.
>>37880718>>37880649>It actually does cause some issues.>Equestria ran so smoothly because Celestia dedicated 99% of her time to running the Queendom. Under the micromanaging of a benevolent Princess with a thousand years of practice, issues didn't exist. Anyone trying to emulate her back-to-back 16 to 20 hour workdays with no days off would swiftly die from the stress.>Now, Celestia has finally tasted romantic love and can't live without it anymore. She actually begins to take time off and shortens her work into something more akin to a 9 to 5 job so she can spend time with her husband.>The grossly atrophied government noble classes now have to pull their weight in governing. Cracks begin to form and ponies begin to slack now that Celestia isn't always breathing down their necks. >Luna was at first eager to finally get her share of work, but now she's missing the days where she maybe did an hour or two a day. She's slow to shake her rust as a ruler off.>And with Celestia now often occupied, some errant or disgruntled nobles begin to get ideas...>While that cat's away, with mice will play, as they say.
>Be edgy will get you no whereUnless it's with Luna, of course. In that case it gets you a soulmate.>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm7vnOC4hoY
>Anon walks down the street, wondering why mares are so obsessed with saying "YouTube dot com watch" and then breaking down into gibberish>They always look at him with hopeful eyes, but they get no response
>>37881025That made me laugh out loud.
>>37881025>Anon finally hears a hoers say the magic words: DailyMotion dot com watch
>>37880982Great, now I'm picturing Luna writing edgy poetry and trying to fit in with the goth scene.
You know, in all honesty. What are the odds any equine would find a biped attractive. Humans are hard wired to only find other humans attractive in a sexual sense. Most of the weird crap people are into is because of developmental hiccups during puberty. In a world without internet or racy TV shows (Looking at you Totally Spies) what would cause ponies to find something as abnormal as a human sexy?
>>37881127>Humans are hard wired to only find other humans attractive in a sexual senseIts been a long while since I've seen a post this retarded. Thanks anon, I was starting to feel bad about how dumb I am. Now I can think of you and Anthony Burch when I'm in a rut.
>>37881143Feeling guilt about jacking it to anatomically correct pony porn?
>>37881127>Humans are hard wired to only find other humans attractive in a sexual sensedo you know where you are?its more appropriate to say that humans find human TRAITS attractivewide hips, big tiddy, etc.things that imply a health and fertile/capable mateso long as those traits are there, it doesn't really matter what they're stapled to, and it can be reasonably be assumed the same for ponieshell, the "foal chasing legs" is a direct example of ponies finding something about the human body attractive
>>37881161even its not natural i feel no guilt from my degeneracy
>>37881127do you know that to irl mares to flag to their riders and/or caretakers is far from uncommon ?
>>37881162That is something that's always weirded me out. Applying human characteristics to things to help bridge the gap of wanking it to an animal. It just throws whatever it is further down the uncanny valley for me.
>>37881170I worked for a few bucks an for my neighbor mucking out his horse barn when I was younger, I know that because one of his sons was probably a irl horsefucker and would talk about shit like that regularly.
>>37881178then you better not see a horse in real life Anon, cause there's a reason people have been fucking them for millenia
>>37881190I once heard a history about a irl mare that tried to rape her caretaker by pinning him down against her stall wall and "beating" him with her butt
guy asked a question about rgre and pissed off a zoophile lol
>>37881214As anon said>do you know where you are?Liking ponies is kinda our thing
>>37881127Probably not, but not for the reasons you're thinking.I think being furless would be the big one in terms of just physical attractiveness. It's easy for us to overlook on the reverse because so many things we see that aren't us are covered in fur. For ponies them being covered in fur is the norm because everything else is covered in fur too. Also having crotch near pony head level could be a bit weird. Maybe sweat, too. Human sweat is really potent, which could result in more than just a few disapproving looks. When combined with the former, especially. It would basically be blasting it out right at their faces. And that could be even worse depending on how acute of a sense of smell you headcanon ponies as having. If they've still got full horsey level then you may as well be the scent equivalent of a walking, flashing neon billboard of your emotions (namely horny).But different social things might still be the worst offender, considering how accepting ponies seem to be. Possibly even something like wearing a full set of clothes (just imagine a woman who always insisted on wearing a full wedding dress outfit).
>>37881214I'm not seeing any anger here>guy asks how ponies would find humans attractive because they're a different species>others explain how humans can find species with sufficient human-like traits attractive, and that the same can likely be said for ponies>some ones even lists examples of how horses have found humans attractive IRLseems pretty reasonable to me
Not to mention the neoteny of human features, similar to foal faces. We'd be legal shotas.
>>37881249>We'd be legal shotas.that wouldn't make pones want to protect and care us instead of wanting to fuck us ?
>>37881258>Being a shota is not about size, but about the cute proportions>I- I've read that in a book
>>37881273its always the quiet ones
I wanna see an anon shota taking advantage of the ponyville milfs surplus.
Imagine a heart song being answered by your soulmate, who is The opera mare. Her answer to your song would wake up a dragon a continent away.
>Be Cadance, escorting Anonicorn through the castle market on a shopping trip.>Also be getting mighty peeved at the person who wrote a tabloid article about the recent heartsong event in fillydelphia.>Sure that was a wonderful thing, two souls joining together in harmony and love is something to be cherished.>But the idiot just HAD to mention the prince in it, 'speculating' whether he would find his true love next and encouraging young fillies to 'try their luck'!>For one thing, pre-teen heartsongs were a complete myth, perpetuated by the fact close childhood friends are more likely to share in a harmonic convergence event, aka a regular song number.>And secondly, a heartsong has NOTHING to do with 'luck'!>If you're destined to be, then you're destined to be and the heart song will happen without any conscious intiation on anypony's part.>Just like trying to force a cutie mark to appear before a pony recognises their talent, it simply wont work.>It's the exact same principle, they teach this in school when you learn about harmony!>But that hasnt stopped dozens of familes obviously forcing their fillies to embarrass themselves in public in the hope of being 'lucky'.>She has half a mind to->Ooooh no, that TEENAGE. COLT. better not have just tried to sing to her cousin or she's about to->Oh, he was singing at her, flattering but nope, she has a loving coltfriend already who she's going to snuggle the snickerdoodles out of once she gets back to the castle.>She hopes Anon is done soon.>Be Prince Anon>You're shopping for baking supplies.>Because neither you or the cooks or your mom are allowed to use the castle stores for 'personal projects' after you spent a day baking cakes for mom for her birthday.>You couldn't fit all the candles on one cake, so you just made more.>And you wanted to bake a cake for mom, because she seemed a bit down about something which meant buying your own things with Auntie Luna's money after you asked her nicely.>You're sure what she meant by your face being dangerous though, you looked fine in the mirror. Auntie is weird.>The market is also weird, you keep walking past ponies who are singing and they sound really lonely.>You kinda want to join in so they wont be lonely anymore but you feel something boop your nose everytime you open your mouth.>Oh well, maybe they can find each other and form a band, or a choir, there's a lot of singing ponies out today.>Be the aetherial concept of heartsongs given brief ponyshaped form for the purposes of this text.>Facehoof with one hoof even as you use the other to prevent The Anomaly from sending the entire tapestry of fate into the shredder.
>>37881350Now I'm curious as to what the heartsong between Anonicorn and Spergity would be.
>>37881406the yu-gi-oh theme
>>37881406They're constantly forgetting the words as they try to go through it. To everyone else its pure cringe, but to the two of them its perfect.
>>37881406a wet fart, because that's all that """lore""" deserves
>>37881350Be Celestia>Several centuries of practice allowed you to keep the false smile plastered on your lips>But only just>With each cart that rolled in the whispers and giggles of the Noblity grew in number>Anon bless his heart had the biggest smile you'd ever seen him have in public>Cart after cart, cake after cake>Within minutes the entire daycourt was filled cakes>All hidden beneath hundreds of magic candles>It was with great relief the final cart rolled in and your son bounced towards you>"Do you like it mama! I made them all myself!">As embarrassing as it was having your age flaunted in front of other ponies you couldn't help but melt>Anon's little eyes were sparkling as bright as your sun"Yes, Anon, I love it". >Scooping him up in your wings you brought him close"Did you really do all this yourself?">Giving a little um he shook his head>"No mama. Raven helped">Oh? >You glanced over at your embarrassed aid"Did she now?" You whispered>Giggling Anon nodded happily>"Yup! I didn't know how old you were mama so I asked her and she went and found out for me">Wait...>Did that mean..."O-oh really?" You asked>"Hm-hmm!""W-why did you need to know that sweetheart?">"So I could get the right number of candles mama!">Over the sound of Raven facehoofing you could hear the faint laughter of the various ponies in the room>...this is why you didn't celebrate your birthdays anymore
>>37881412God, that was cute
>be having perfectly normal thread discussion>ANONICORN, WHAT ABOUT ANONICORN GOYSThis is why you are hated.
>>37881420was just two connected promps and didn't derail anythingjust relax Anon, go touch some grass
>>37881420>HOW DARE PEOPLE LIKE THINGS I DON'T LIKE
>37881420>On topic posts that are RGRE enough, and expand on a prompt previously discussedWash the salt out of your eyes and realize this is the next best thing below an update or new green being posted. If it bothers you that much, match the quality of on topic-ness, and either come up with an interesting prompt or expand on one from before. Alternatively, you can wallow in your own mediocrity and produce nothing but tantrums.
>Be prince Anon>You were walking through the gardens when you heard it>The most beautiful song you ever heard, once that seemed to speech to your very soul>For a moment you were entranced by it, feeling the word forming in your throat>but right in the moment you were about to start your part he sees who was singing to your hear>Twilight>A mix of confusion and anger start taking you, just enough to snap you back into reality >You summoned all your strength, all your will to keep your mouth shut>You immediately turned around and run to the other side of the castle>Maybe it’s time to make a vacation and leave Canterlot for a timeMeanwhile in the Crystal Empire >Be Cadence >You feel a deep disturbance in force
>>37881418First green and it was liked. I feel the dopamine rushing through me.
>>37881412Adorable green. The one time Celestia isn't excited to see pastries.
>>37881412Bet that many noble that were victim of Celestia pranks are extremely amused be her cute "karmic punishment"
>>37881412At least there's bound to be enough cake for everyone.
>>37881420Goyim*Hebrew doesn't work like roman languages
>>37881598think he was just trying to spell the onions pronunciation of "guys"otherwise this would be a new level of schizo retardation, even for this board
>>37878249I need more Anon and Cloudy Night.
Wow, there sure are a lot of cure greens here. Hope most of these get expanded on and saved at some point.
>anonicorn was a jew psyop all alongI see. I don't know how to link the two yet, but I'll find a way.
>>37880053this is why herds exist. (that, and the unequal sex ration—having far more mares than stallions.)
>>37881833Was just thinking this actually, rgre stuff usually seems to be really into the whole polygamic thing with herds so one of the herd mates hearing the song might see that as a way to add another partner in the herd, this new member just particularly happening to be special.Hell, it could probably make more sense for Heartsongs to draw in more than just only one pair of ponies at a time, possibly calling in a couple randoms towards one or a whole heard towards the singer, and vice verse...Now I'm kinda entertaining the idea of where one Unicorn spent all day during Hearts and Hooves day, singing her out her heartsong in Canterlot trying to find her heartmate (or whatever its called) and then not finding them and being all sad so as the sun begins to set she goes off to the edge of the mountain to cry on her lonesome. She just wanted to find somepony to be with so she wouldn't be so lonely anymore.As she would begin to sing her song one last time on this special day, right as the sun touches the horizon and colors dance along the sky, she hears a voice dancing on the wind and calling to her, causing her heart to flutter, but as she would look around her she would she that was still alone.Confused she would continue, trying to search for the voice as she called louder, and in return she'd hear a different voice also calling to her, this one also making her heart race, but still she couldn't see any of the singers.It wouldn't be until both voices getting louder the she would turn back over the edge and see who the owner of two voices were; a windswept pegasus who barely caught the traces of the song from Cloudsdale that had floated closer to Canterlot for the holiday, and a Batpony who had clearly only just woken up and traveled from the darker reaches of lower/under-Canterlot.At first the mare would be surprised, and then ecstatic but soon sad as she watches the pair soar about together in the air, now thinking that the voices were a duet all along. As she turns to leave, sad that another heartsong had failed, the flying pair suddenly embracing her from behind and calling out to her.She'd turn, seeing tears in their eyes and love in their hearts, and in a final crescendo the Trio would finish their heartsong, and always be together after.
>>37881412>tfw "Let them eat cake!" is actually a good line now
>>37881767>visible horsepussyRED ALERT!ABORT, ANON, ABORT!
>>37881833>unequal sex rationI mean, I guess that's not an incorrect way to put it. Though it does sort of imply that Celestia is either directly or indirectly controlling the amount of sex each pony is allowed to get.
>>37881971Actually, this would kind of enforce some of the story tropes that I've been reading on FimFiction where Celestia is seen as the super controlling/manipulating ruler/bad guy. Though, it wouldn't be that she's controlling the amount of sex that each pony would get but with who specifically, essentially treating Equestria as a giant pony breeding farm to make genetically superior ponies.A story I've been skimming lately, 'Twilight's Nightmare', kinda follows that line of thought. Its revealed rather early on that Celestia actually sets up a lot of the pony pairings/marriages through manipulation in Canterlot in an attempt to essentially make super ponies that would be best suited for Alicorn Ascension. Or at least that's the reading I get from it...On a silly note though, this would mean that Celestia has something akin to a 'sex list'.
>>37881486You see now the power that mere words wield, i only wrote >>37881350 due to people arguing about heartsongs, deciding to make it about anonicorn on a whim, and including the cake bit because i enjoy humor that also provides a narrative purpose.And because that one joke exists you wrote an entirely seperate prompt expanding on it.This is exactly why folk should let their inspiration free and just write when the whimsy takes them, you never know what will inspire someone next.
>>37880718 #I dunno, I always envision any Anon with Celestia as LaP.So a monstrously jacked King of Manlets.The nobles would be too nervous to act up. Even if Fleur, Fancy Pants, Blueblood, and a few of the other unicorns with the "aristocratic" body-type might be at eye level with him.
>>37881473>Anonicorn and Alicorn Twilight sing a song together.>It's a variation of https://youtu.be/YPqTZ1xzC2Q in the style of 'This day aria', a seperated duet.>Twilight has recently elevated to royalty and is struggling with finding the point of that.>Anonicorn meanwhile is struggling with constantly being in her shadow, especially now that she's a princess.>Twilight is singing to Celestia and Cadence while Anonicorn is singing to Luna.
>You are Anon, currently on a dinner date with Pinkie Pie's sister Maud.>You see that Pinkie got the personality genes in the family.>That's fine. Plenty of people have told you that you're also utterly lacking in charisma. Assuming that Maud isn't a hypocrite, you might actually have a shot with her.>Over the course of your meal -- shrimp alfredo for you, and a fancy salad for Maud -- she's been talking to you about rocks, her Rocktorate, and some more about rocks."Hmm. Do you have any interest in other cultures' beliefs about rocks, and their implementation of them?">"Yes. That is not as interesting as the physical properties of rocks, but it is related to rocks. Therefore, I am interested by default."Cool. When I was younger, I wanted to be an archeologist. If you like, I can rack my brain and see what I can recall about various human cultures' beliefs and uses of various rocks and gems. Though I might have to schedule a second date where we dig through my library. Most of what's springing to mind right now is about jade, obsidian, and various greenstones.">"That would be --" She licks her lips. "-very nice." >Be Pinkie Pie, surreptitiously watching from another table with Twilight.>You're so happy!"Isn't it great, Twilight? Maud and Anon are getting along like two peas in a pod!">Twilight, being Twilight, is frantically scribbling down notes as Anon and Maud talk. "Pinkie, how can you tell? He's almost as monotone and expressionless as she is!">"In Neolithic Europe, jade versions of axeheads and stone tools seem to have been used as ceremonial or display items...""Silly Twily, if I can read Maud, I can read him!">"I'll take your word for it. I thought some of the lecturers at CSGU were dry...it's fascinating, but dear Faust, he cannot vary his tone to save his life, can he?"
>>37882392>Be Maud Pie.>This is the only stallion you have ever found with any interest in rocks.>You really wish you weren't in estrus right now. You fear that you will embarrass yourself. You are extremely grateful that you're sitting upright at a table, and that the combined efforts of the tablecloth and your frock are concealing your flagging tail and leaking loins.>"In addition to jadeite, nephrite, and more common greenstones, Mesoamerican cultures also favored the use of obsidian, primarily in weaponry...">Fortunately, Anon is wearing boots, so he doesn't notice the growing puddle of marecum underneath the table.>You need Anon's penis inside of you.>You should recite the names of rocks to calm yourself.>Basanite>Boninite>Kimberlite>"In China, jadeite and nephrite were heavily associated with the nobility. In the earliest periods of China's history, some kings, members of the royal bloodline, and nobility were buried in a sort of suit-shaped coffin, made from hundreds of plates of jade sewn together with fine wire made from precious metals, or occasionally -- for the lower ranks of the nobility -- just with silk thread...">You REALLY need Anon's penis inside of you.>Lamproite>Pumice>Flint.>"In the Mediterranean and Europe, some stones -- mostly gemstones, but not always -- were thought to have magical properties."". . . I need Anon's penis inside of me.">Claystone>Marl>Wackestone>Chrysolite>"Uh, Maud, did you mean to say that out loud?">Oh, schist.>You can't speak. You can only cover your eyes with your hooves in shame.>Anon snorts. "I guess that answers that. Still, I'm not going to say no.">You blink in surprise as Anon picks you up with a grunt of effort, slings you over his shoulder, and carries you off.>Still be Maud.>Eight hours later.>Anon is snoring at your side.>You are exhausted. You do not exhaust easily, but you are exhausted now.>You have lost count of how many times you culminated.>Anon drank up every last drop of squash soup in your body.>Though you found the spreader bar that he insisted on after your first orgasm mildly insulting.>You don't think that you could actually crush his skull between your thighs.>Periodically, Anon had broke off his thirsty guzzling and fingering to fuck you. He culminated four times before he could no longer do so.>Your cervix is pleasantly sore.>The back wall of your womb is also pleasantly sore, and your womb itself is no longer burning with the flames of estrus. Instead it is practically sloshing with Anonymous's seed.>If Anonymous was a pony, you would be worried about pregnancy.>Fortunately, you doubt that an alien ape and a pony can conceive without magic.
>>37882397>Eleven months later...>Looking down at the human boy (Flint) and the satyr filly (Corundum) nursing from your teats, you have never been happier to be wrong in your life.>Though you could have done without having to deliver two boys, two fillies, and a pair of satyrs (one colt, one filly) at once.>Even with anesthetic, it was unpleasant.>Though it was nice of Anonymous to hire a doctor to come all the way out to your family's rock farm to help with the delivery.>Apparently, Anonymous has quite a bit of money.>He also used his funds to hire a dozen more workers for the farm on an annual basis, so that Limestone, Marble, and your parents could all relax and work on self-improvement.>You would have called Limestone's reaction to that news 'rape,' if you hadn't been there encouraging her.>Limestone, currently six months into her own pregnancy, has begun lactating, and your two fillies (Jadeite and Nephrite) are taking advantage of it.>Anonymous also stepped up and hired a wet nurse -- aptly named "Milky Way" after the bat-pony ultrasound scan revealed exactly how pregnant you were.>Agate (boy) and Diamond (satyr colt) are currently busy over there.>Anon is watching the whole scene, his face still fixed in the ridiculously large grin that he wears whenever you all have a peaceful moment like this.>Life is good.
>>37882400Done. I'm not super-pleased with this one, but I like the idea of a ludicrously pregnant Maud....And of being the patriarch of a happy family, a dream which seems to get further away with each passing year.
>>37882400>Though you could have done without having to deliver two boys, two fillies, and a pair of satyrs (one colt, one filly) at once.Satyrfag this was a fun little green but please do not inflate the mare over capacity, these could have been spread as 3 sets of twins instead of sextuplets.
>>37881127>What are the odds any equine would find a biped attractive.The average pony/alien/whatever? 0%That a handful of them find you attractive out of weirdness/fetishism? 100%
>>37882400>bat-pony ultrasoundthis will never be not cute and funny
>>37882397> the spreader bar that he insisted onAnon is a man of taste> could actually crush his skull Boner moved to fearboner
Is the prompt bin no longer being updated?
>>37881162>do you know where you are? Pic related
>>37881167>Feel no guiltyGood
>>37882470I'm just imagining a bat pony putting her muzzle to the belly of the mare, EEEEEEEEing into it like a raspberry, and the drawing out the ultrasound image on paper.
>>37881767>Anonicorn is a griff psyop to keep the princesses distracted from affairs of state!!!!>The prince is not even real!!!!
>>37882808>There is a small, but not insubstantial number of equestrians that just straight up don't believe the prince exists
>>37882651I was envisioning some kind of magitech hookup that produces an image on a crystal, to be honest.
>>37882912>Physically, yes they know he's real and there>But they don't believe he's ACTUALLY a prince.>Some believe he's a noble's son, sent to distract the princesses and weaken their power/authority. And have his real parents swoop in to seize the growing power vacuum.>Others believe he's an agent of Gryphons, sent to destabilize the Equestrian economy>But the craziest out there believe something far worse>They believe he's not even a pony. Rather that he's the reincarnation of an alien with near omniscient knowledge of Equestria and its citizens. What this alien plays to do is a mystery, but it could only be bad.
>>37882965>Some even think Anon is not a mere alien but some eldritch god from beyond the stars who came to pass witness and judgment over ponykind>Some even found cults around the idea
>>37883007>It was a busy morning in the streets of Canterlot>An a blue mare dressed in crude bath robes climbed on top of a crate in front of House of the Rising Sun, the bigger stable in equestria> Originally build to house princess Celestia personal harem of stallions many moons ago, the luxurious complex now are open to the common mares and managed by an office of the crow.>”Repent sisters repent, for the time of judgment is nigh!!!” she cried>”The old gods from beyond the stars have send their harbinger through princess Celestia to testify over our deeds pass judgment over all ponykind!” a small crowd had formed around her>“and look, look the decree that the broken prince do on us everyday day we let us be consume by sin and abuse the body of poor stallion with our bits!” she cried, menacingly pointing her hooves to the empty space over the castle >”Do not enter in the dem of sin sisters! For when he bring the blazing star of donation upon us only the pure and righteous will be spared and…”>”This shit again! SECURIT!!!!” shout a mare from the entrance of the royal scort house> As two armored pegasy approach the crowd the preacher start to run shouting something about the end of time
>>37883014>And her face looked just like THIS!
>>37883014>office of the crow>blazing star of donation
>>37883007Nah>>37882965Of course, these disbelievers are not unified in their disbelief of the prince's existence>There are some in far flung corners of equestria that you can see their ruralness in their faces (and genes) that he truly, 100% does not exist, and that it's all some poppycock spewed from the capitol as some excuse to be increase taxes or take away their ballistae>Most do agree that he is physically present in the castle, but that's typically where it ends>Some think he's a noble plant>Others think he's a griffin atomaton>Others still disagree with the virgin birth, with reasons varying from "that's not how it works and Celestia just didn't want to taint the reputation of whichever butler she fucked" to "if harmony can just give Celestia an alicorn son from nowhere, why can't I have one too?">And a specific group of ponies who dress like batponies but very much are NOT bats believe that while the immaculate conception did happen, the foal was lost when Celestia was sent to the sun when Nightmare moon briefly returned, and that the princess of the sun is parading around a stillborn animated by necromancy>The well-known dates of both the prince's birth and Luna's return not matching up to such a story has little effect on them, and actual batguards are keeping an eye on these... Strange mares, along with a note to Equestrian Foal Services to disallow any attempts at adoption
>>37883300wonder what each royal reaction to such rumors are
>>37883360>Some royals are elated that there's now an official heir to the Equestrian throne.>Others are eying up the young stallion to see if they can't get their daughters into his life at a young and impressionable age>Some are pissed cause they wanted to be the one to give Celestia a foal, if you catch my meaning>Blueblood is outwardly pissed that someone "defiled" his aunt, even through the claim of immaculate conception. But inwardly he's ecstatic that he gets to be a cool older cousin to somepony now
>>37883391I love greens in which we get to see a good side of blueblood
>>37883467>Blueblood teaching Anon to single out mares that are being nice to him only to get in his bed and/or to get political influence
>some mares claim that, as magic is stored in the ovaries, there is NO WAY Prince Anon could be a real alicorn
>>37883521>magic is stored in the ovariesso what male unicorns use to cast spells ?
>>37883525The potential magic of their future daughters of course
>>37883488Ya that would be good >only for anon to end up with spergity >blueblood does not know what to make of this Spergity is one of the weirdest most social awkward mares he has ever seen But she is also very talented smart and well connected and for someone so smart she is far to stupid to try and trick anon
>>37883547Spergity is not my cup of tea but last thread a prompt / green mentioned Blueblood ran interference to stop mares trying to put the moves on his cousin, i like the idea that Rarity was doing that for Twilight in that one green so she could talk to Anon alone.>Spy vs Spy shit during the Gala where they just act as autistic and stereotypical as possible to help their friends.>Develop a mutual respect as they slowly catch on to what the other is doing and start getting serious.>Culminates in Blueblood knocking the statue over and Rarity fleeing the gala with her friends after Fluttershy causes the stampede, the pair of white ponies locking eyes across the way, Rarity flashing a brief smirk as Blueblood inclines his head slightly in a bow.
>>37883287>>37883548>>37883733I love rgre because it would let me get away with shit like this. Plus I could just say "oh well, fillies will be fillies, after all" and get free blowjobs without causing any problems.That and filly herds.Damn I love fillies.
>>37883733>"You and I are going to pound town, little filly."
What would ponies think if Anon was a vegetarian?I think they would love him more.
>>37883977I don't care. Vegetarians are faggots.
>>37883981At least they're not as bad as vegans. Until you interact with one, you'll never understand just how true the stereotypes of those fuckers are
>>37883977I think they would think nothing of it if Anon just ate whatever greens they gave him. However, I do think they WOULD have a bit of a reaction if they realized he could eat meat this entire time but decided just to bulk up on beans or something "for the protein" instead of mentioning it.
>>37883977>Wait, so you mean you're supposed to eat meat, but you just... don't?>But why would you do that?>You don't wanna hurt animals?>Aww, that's adorable.>Big scary predator is still just a soft stallion at heart.
>>37883030>"You, Mare. You are a blight.">"And You.">"And You.">"AND YOU."
>>37883977They would call him a faggot, because everyone knows that an omnivore that cucks himself into vegetarianism, or worse, veganism, is the ultimate cuck.
How do they handle the ancient Chinese proverb->Key that opens many locks is very good key.>Lock that opens to many keys is very bad lock.Seems like the ultimate hard counter to reversing that aspect.
>>37884223RGRE isnt just a boring reversal of male to female and vice versa.It's a perspective/culture shift at heart.A colt that's able to service many mares is an example of a healthy herd.A mare that fucks many stallions is seen as a mareslut and homewrecker.
>>37884239>Caramel thinks he's not a slutYou're a slut, slut
>>37883977given the gender roles are reversed, there are plenty of simp mares out there, ergo they will aggressively defend your decision to eat meat as long as you show them affection, even if its just patronizing
>>37884223>>37884239And yet there are brainlets that post their banana meme.
>>37884223Simple. Locks are inverted in RGRE. The locking mechanism that is attached to the door is an erect shaft with pins which must be lifted to the correct height etc etc, you know how a lock works. Lock, but inside-out. Keys are actually tube-shaped devices (which tend to look suspiciously like fleshlights, but don't tell anybody I said that) that envelop the exterior door lock like sleeve or a pocket. The interior gently massage the shaft until everything slides into position, and the mare can twist the key-tube and unlock the lock. Thus, a key that opens many locks is still a good key. And an external shalt-mechanism lock that opens to many fleshlight-keys is a fucking SLUT. Man, that matriarchy, right? You have a mare-dominated society, and you end up with vaginas everywhere. Fucking typical, amirite? Mares think about WHAT every 6 seconds?
>>37884337>memeStill, I think a popsicle fits better. Kept in the freezer it stays perfectly fine. Left out it starts to melt and attract flies and ants. It's something you can enjoy with others, but certainly wouldn't want to have if its got random lick marks all over it already.
>>37884377>Locks are inverted in RGRE.Of all the stupid shit I have heard in this thread, that may actually win top marks for being top retard.
>>37884414I've seen worse Like most of the trash your average anonicorn fan spews out
>>37884414Thank you, that was the intent. It was the only way I could think to reverse that proverb without changing the wording.
>>37884422You've been trying to spark a shitstorm the whole thread and it hasn't worked yet, why are you even trying at this point?
>>37884469>>37884440because he has no life outside of wage slaving and trolling
>>37884469Because their life needs meaning and I guess it feels good to get people to rage Don’t blame them they are just misguided
>>37884506No, I'm pretty sure that's a perfectly valid reason to blame someone for something. There's no such thing as "misguided," only "asshole."
>you don't like what I don't like>you say things that make me sad>you're just doing what you do to attack meI guess?
>>37883977>Anon becomes a vegetarian because its difficult to find meat in Equestria.>Eats plenty of eggs, cheese, milk, etc to make up for it.>One day Anon is enjoying a latte in public and accidentally gives himself a milk moustache.>Mayor freaks out.>"Anon what do you think you're doing. there could be foals around here!"What do you mean Mayor. It's just a latte. >"I know you have a very large...apatite when it comes to lewd things but you have to have more discretion. We already tolerate you wearing clothes and carrying milk jugs out in the open, please try to meet us halfway."Lewd? what are you talking about. It's just milk, like a normal thing that everypony drinks right?>"Where do you think milk comes from. Of course its lewd that your drinking it. It's supposed to only be for babies. Between spouses it happens if they have a fetish.">The mayor's face is bright red and she covers her eyes when you take another sip in thought.>You smack your lips, savoring the taste in a new light."Huh I never knew that. Thanks for telling me.">The mayor almost screams in your face.>"Okay! now please wipe that moustache off your face before anypony sees you.">You wipe off the moustache."Is this why milk is only available at Rarity's clothing store, because it's actually a fetish shop?">Mayor Mare rubs her temples in frustration.>It's always too early to deal with stallion whimsy and Anon's alien stallion whimsy was the worst.
>>37884562>Nopony thought to just direct Anon towards Minotaur made Milk..mainly because they felt too embarrassed to ask the ONE minotaur that comes around (Iron Will) about it.
>>37884587I'd milk a minotaur. They'd probably have good milk.
>>37884562>minotaur milkpleb substance from a Plebbit-tier furry girl>cow milkchad ambrosia of the heavens from an actual fucking BEAST with ENORMOUS UDDERS
>>37882400>You would have called Limestone's reaction to that news 'rape,' if you hadn't been there encouraging her.
I don't want bovine milk.Give me dragons milk.
>>37884599what if the minotaurs have crotch tits?
>>37884337>actually taking that seriously Shut the fuck up you fcking moron
>>37884469Believe it or not this is only my second time posting in this thread. it's almost like Anonicorn is only liked by a few retards and hated/ignored by everyone else?
>>37884642Yeah, don't believe ya. As far as I've seen there is two or three people who care enough to complain about it
>>37884642>ignoredClearly not, since you're sperging about it right now
>>37884661There also hasn't been much about anonicorn this thread.
>>37884661whatever helps you sleep at night lol
>When he was younger and she not occupied with anything too important, the Prince would often stay by his mothers side.>Listening to her stories, playing in the corner, occupying himself with 'paperwork' like his mother (Drawing) and of course, nap times.>More than once the guard or a secretary found the pair with the prince in an odd sleeping position, his mother often joking it to be his pegasi ancestry, and their tendency to nap wherever they fancy.I like Anonicorn, it has a lot of opportunities for cute situations.
>>37884674Too bad it hasn't been fleshed out much. So far all the threads I've seen only have short "Cute moment" greens rather then an actual "story". I for one wouldn't mind a 10k short about the concept.
Wasn't there a green about Anonicorn living in Equestria Hawaii and having to hide himself from a princess snooping around?
>>37884693>Wasn't there a green about Anonicornkek. no.
>>37884693Yeah, I remember that. That was a long time ago.
Why is it that anonicorn inspires such lack of creativity?
>you're browsing around a town on your trip to equestria>while looking at handmade goods, you hear a jaunty tune >for the briefest of moments let out a note before your higher cognition catches that you're about to reply to a heart song and you cover your mouth before you can continue>you heart drops as you look around only to see a pony starring at you>flee.exe
>>37884693Please give me a link
>>37884693Yes. I miss it.
>>37884732>only to see a pony starring at youDoesn't have to be Twilight, just this stare in particular.
>>37884674I second your sentiment
>>37884693There was, but it wasn't the one that grew up as Celestia's son aka the boring one. It was a neat enough concept but it never really went anywhere. I think you can find it in the promptbin
>>37884754God, fuck, seeing that look especially if it's unicorn Twilight, as seen on your pic would be the end of my resolve.It's too much, it's too much I'm telling you!
>>37884775>The Boring OnePeople bitched about power creep forever and then they got a potential story without it:>"BORING/CRINGE." Then a story comes along (not a bad one mind you but still) that's literally "He is practically a god to Pseudo-Pony Hawaiians and can move whole ass natural disasters":>"Neat concept, give more."The state of some anons, I swear.
>>37884608what does dragon milk taste like?
>>37884801warm and kinda spicy I think
>>37883901so what/how much Aj gave Anon as a "thank you for not throwing my sister and her friends to the ponice, even though you would be totally in the right to do so" ?
>>37884818A full barrel of apples, and a few jugs of cider. She overpaid a bit, but it seemed to make Anon take more interest in the Apple family, if you know what I mean.
>>37884754>It'll never workWhy? Because I'm a pony.>No. You know nothing of Captain Spaulding's work. On that basis alone, its best that we part.>*Weeks of research later, Twilight discovers Anon's statement was referring to a horror movie just to give her the slip*Princessfucker, Spike get my parchment and quill.
>>37884801Coffee and creamer
>>37884880>Doesn't know how to use quotationmarks.>Doesn't know how to use proper punctuation.Please, for everyone's sake, lurk more.
>>37884901GODDAMN ITF U C KO F F
>>37884901>>37885080Based retard.Never change!
>>37884901there he is!
>>37884901god bless you link fag, you always show up to remind us of our roots.
>>37885191Yes.People I hate who couldn't make a good thread if their lives depended on it.
>>37884616Darn, D's got some fat nuts
>You've lived in RGRE for a long while now.>You have a home, a place in your community, a wife or maybe a small herd, and maybe a few or a lot of children.>Earth is little more than a slowly blurring memory with how much Equestria has engaged you. You miss your old friends and family, but you must be long dead to them and you've come to terms with that.>Then Twilight, with her well meaning mettling, accidentally makes a stable portal back to Earth, give you the chance to see your loved ones again>What do?
>>37885358>You try not to sweat as your waifu (or herd-mares) decide to finally do you the honour of belatedly asking your mother for permission to marry you.
>>37885358>Make time for the parents meet their grandkids and in-laws
>>37885358Go in just to see old friends, let them know im in a better place, so the dont have to feel bad everytime they remember me.
>>37885327That's just Cut in her Nightmare Night costume
>>37885358>You miss your old friends and familyMy what?
>>37885358I go back once so my parents can meet their grandchildren, then I return to Equestria and have Twilight close the portal because it's simply too dangerous to keep open.
>>37884901This is why I said a link not give me the link for you to post that picture it’s grammatically incorrect I just now realized that there are multiple links so it might still work
>>37885457this. i'd just hope i'd have a human son to show off. might be easier for them to swallow that i fucked and reproduced with a small, colorful equine if i showed up with a grandson instead of all fillies
>>37885358Man imagine how fucking awful it would be to psych yourself up to return only to pop into a dead wasteland. War, disease, or simply time running at different speeds means that you set foot on a world devoid of human life. Twilight would probably feel guilty because if she hadn't done it you would have gone without the pain of knowing
>>37885518It would be worse because after already resigning yourself to never seeing them again you get excited that you will, at least once more. More importantly you get to give them closure over your disappearance. Only to have it all fizzle out.
>>37885518>pop through>land in a nuclear hellscape that was once Earth>before Twilight can even begin to console you, you're pushing her through the portal before the radiation can begin to slowly kill you both
>>37885594>You were too slow.>You could have been fine, if only you had been a bit faster.>You look down at the latest patch of hair to fall from your scalp, and try not to vomit.>You were too slow.
>>37885594>You stand a dozen feet away from the portal, the disbelief settling into horror as you take in what your old world has become. Twilight's standing behind you at a distance in frozen shock, unable to move as her gaze takes in the vast amount of radiated wasteland surrounding you.>Quickly you turn around and begin stomping over towards Twilight, the sudden action breaking her out of whatever trance she was in.>"Oh my gosh, Anon! I'm so sorry that-""Out!">"Wha- H-hey! Put me down!">She struggles in your grip as you heft her over your shoulder, picking up pace as you start sprinting towards the portal."Talking later, go now! Like 5 minutes ago!">You don't care what the ghouls would say, you like being a smoothskin, and alive for that matter.
>>37884616Imagine putting your dick between them and squeezing some milk out
>>37885638>disbelief Lets be real, we're all expecting it sooner or later.
>>37881350>Cadance is all about free love and loving who you do but she was damn near willing to look homophobic just to chase that teenage colt away.>He was almost real damn lucky she figured out it was HER he was trying to sing to.
>>37885693Because homos are bad, duh
>>37885754Not gonna lie, the only gay people I haven't felt the urge to beat the shit out are ones I didn't know were gay until they did or said something off hand. Its like everyone else just uses "I'm gay, you can't do that!" to excuse their shitty behavior. If pony gays were like that I could see why pink pone wouldn't want one anyone near anonicorn.
>>37885768eh, its 50 50 for me. i have noticed the younger they are the brattier and nastier they are. Havent felt the need to get physical tho
>Prince Anonymous Miracle was born to Princess Celestia many a moon ago. He's a lovely boy who listens to his mother and aunt dutifully, pays no mind to snoopy and deceitful nobles and plays nice with others. Even despite the mysteriousness around his birth, he's a somewhat charming, if sarcastic, lad who powers through his "special" challenges and charges onward to make sure his life is as good as any other's. Just because he couldn't walk or talk for a while there does NOT mean he's any worse off than anyone else, no ma'am (and Celestia made sure everyone knew that).>The issue? He's a colt. An Alicorn Colt. In a world where male births were already small enough, he ended up being One of a Fucking Kind and there he was just meandering every day up in the Canterlot Gardens with Dearest Mommy or Stargazing with his Beloved Aunty. >If ponies freaked out about Cadence giving birth to her little Wingspan Envy Starter then you best believe that Celestia's "Special Little Colt" gave someone out there a Mouth Frothing Frenzy!>It was bad enough that regular stallions of The Three Tribes were in limited number but now there's one out there with Alicorn powers to boot! Quite literally the rarest of the rare and that's not even going into the schematics behind Princess Celestia's supposed "Virgin Birth". That's a headache for another time.>What does this all mean exactly? Well, it means that our special little lad was a BITCH to guard sometimes seeing how he was literally a national treasure at this point. Some creatures want to see him and others want to "see him" in a shallow ditch. The worst of it were from the damned noble houses.>It's enough to drive the guards crazy when they have to almost literally beat away would be suitors with sticks, whether they were actually genuine or there because of their parents' political plans. Most of the guard assume the latter more than the former truth be told but they don't mention that out loud. Instead, they take to their orders like dutiful soldiers so that they could guard Anon to the best of their abilities and a ragtag team of Elite Guardmares were up to the task! >As Prince Anon grew, very little had ever troubled him in life spare a few moments of personal growth and the Elite had it easier than most think. It didn't hurt that embarrassing stutters and accidentally stumbling into his guards were practically all they really had to deal with as he grew up. Of course, that isn't to say that these mares didn't take their job seriously, it just helped ease their minds that the Prince was so much more easier going than some OTHER little, noble shitheads.>Speaking of these mares and worrisome foals, it looked like it was Playdate Day once again as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza visits Canterlot once more to talk shop with her precious aunts about something princess related.>...and she brought along her..."darling daughter" along as well.>Oh joy.
>>37885818>Now, no one would dare say that Princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire was "hard to handle", no ma'am.>...not out loud, they wouldn't. And certainly not The Elite. >For all intents and purposes, Flurry was a lovely little filly with a smile that could melt even the coldest of stallion's hearts but she had this rather bad habit of being rather "excitable". Old habits die hard after all, apparently even ones as a baby, but whenever she'd get emotional, the poor girl would get hyper as all hell, a little clingy and maybe even a little pushy. You know? Just flat out Little Princess Syndrome but with an actual, honest to Celestia princess with wild card magic instead of some noble brat from a half forgotten House. Again, lovely filly but by the Celestial Princesses was she just something else to handle.>During one of the first playdates when they were far smaller, it had ended with her getting all excited over a "new pet" she found and she promptly teleported the prince up to the roof. While taking none of either of the guard teams with her. Just, "LOOK AT THIS CUTE THING I FOUND" and poof, gonzo. >By the time either panic stricken team could find the duo, they found a hopping, madly smiling Flurry showing off a damned MANTICORE she had trussed up in a fucking pink bow of all things. Right in the middle of it's mane and on top of its head? Prince Anon himself, idly rubbing the monster's head and marveling at it while Flurry looked like she was proud enough to burst. A miss Twinkle Petal (a rookie at the time) had even fallen over from a faint at the mere sight of the creature on castle grounds, something she still gets ribbed on to this day.>Sapphire Harvest, the commanding officer from then and even now, fondly remembers personally coaxing the prince down after assuring him a multitude of times that they were going to be "nice to the pretty kitty". No one knows why the Manticore let itself be lead outside but one thing was for certain: It sure as hell kept that bow.>As she found herself pondering on days long since past, the Royal Visitors finally arrived along with their hopping daughter. Commander Harvest was a brave mare who fought for Princess and Country plenty of times in her life...but she had one fear. Just the one: The look that Princess Flurry Heart was giving to Prince Anonymous Miracle right this very second. It always spelled "Trouble and Shenanigans" and whenever that happened, it'd be a long, LONG shift until the "Playdate" would be over.>She didn't even need to wait long as the little princess zoomed her way over to Anon and wrapped her utterly humongous wings around him in a big hug. >"Nonnynononon! It's SO good to see you! Did you hear about the Ursa Major sighting?!" >Harvest could feel her main greying with every word Flurry dared speak in front of the combined force of the Royal Guards.>Oh well. Duty calls, yes?---Just something I wanted to get out before the thread ended, hope everyone enjoys it.
>>37885821I did, thanks!
>>37885818>>37885821Wouldn't be a bad end to it
>>37885818>>37885821Could see potential to continue if you wanted to but this is great.
>>37885821This is cute, i like hyper-excitable-flurry since she's usually a brat and the troubles of these guards could be a fun green.
>>37885821>Right in the middle of it's mane and on top of its head? Prince Anon himself, idly rubbing the monster's head and marveling at it >assuring him a multitude of times that they were going to be "nice to the pretty kitty". No one knows why the Manticore let itself be lead outside but one thing was for certain: It sure as hell kept that bow.>Prince Anon is disney-princess tier when it comes to animals.This could be neat, especially if he develops into the 'straight man' compared to Flurry's antics.Might drive his guard/mother crazy though with all the animals that want to get close to him after Flurry heart introduces them.
>>37884223Just flip it turnways dumpass.All locks in equestria face outwards and you need a fleshlight looking thing to grip it and open it.
I like the greentexts where Anon takes care of foals. How do you think that would go?
>>37885818>>37885821that's cutemoar please
>>37886632Lke the 526672 other greens where anon takes care of foals
>>37886740Better than the autistic screeching and hours of dead silence we've been getting lately.
>>37886751know what would be even better?you trying to write a promp or a green for once
>>37886751>Anon cant into smalltalk or gossiping, two of the primary ways stallions socialise.>A bit isolated as a result, as most mares just want to get into his pants.>For sheer lack of anything else to do including a lack of qualifications, he starts up a foalsitting service.>Plus foals are cute.>Twilight is meanwhile mildly concerned about her new alien friend's lack of friends, but is at a loss as to how to fix it.>[worried bookhorse noises]
>>37886799Right back at you fuckface, contribute for once in your worthless life.
Would milky be considered hyper maresculine because of her huge tiddies?
>>37886827Just old and spent.
>>37886827She's the ugly bitch tag
>hey we have started to get to page 8 on the regs and the last 300 posts have been nothing but bitchy niggers arguing, how about we discuss thread content>no fuck youearly thread man do you thing, this thread is shit
>>37886802>one of the foals pulls a navada tan on his watch
>>37886827Absolutely. The ideal mare in RGRE society is a provider. She goes to work and provides for her family. She teaches her fillies how to throw a horseball and ride a horsebike. She proudly carries her foals for 11 months without a single complaint, because mares are supposed to be tough and she's supposed to put up with the crushing expectations of society. And if a mare can provide extra sustenance to her foals without her husband having to walk in with a bunch of powdered milk bullshit for her foals to drink, then she's just that much more of a provider. If Milky weren't obviously a filthy dyke, then she'd have a huge family by now.
>>37886868Would other mares be jealous and spread negative rumors? Would stallions try to woo her because she looks like a mare who can really raise some foals?
>>37886827AbsolutelyTitlets would seethe at the mention of her name
>>37886921Mares wouldn't spread rumors, they're not whiny stallions. Some of them would admire her for being the apex of what a mare should be, while others would grumble and bitch on the horsenet about how Trixies allegedly get all the colts, and they guess you have to be a jerk to get a colt now a-days. Stallions, though, would probably spread rumors if she didn't want to date them. She's abusive, she's a jerk, they're not real, whatever. But it would be water off a duck's back, because she knows what she's worth. If ponies had memes, a picture of her smiling face would be used to represent Trixies everywhere.
>Ponies are flooding Celestia with letters.>It just started pouring in one day.>'Princess Celestia, Anon ain't got no magic to protect himself from frisky mares always creepin' 'round these parts! Can you fix him up like you did Twilight?'>'Princess Celestia, I believe Anon may soon fall victim to the DREADFUL deeds of some promiscuous harlot! You simply MUST do something about my darling!'>'Princess Celestia, can you send me a scroll on your laws concerning cross-species cohabitation and/or marriage? Anon said there are laws against these sort of things, and I really can't argue, as I don't know...'>Celestia is getting tired of this.>She doesn't even know who or what an 'Anon' is.>She makes an unannounced visit to Ponyville.>The mares are overjoyed, thinking each of their letters have been answered.>Then Celestia finds out just what an 'Anon' is.>Hfw>The ponies of Ponyville are stunned when Celestia starts acting like a stallion around Anon.>She's like a giggly colt with his first crush.>Anon is impressed the ruler of Equestria came to see him.>Now maybe he can get his wish and get a trip to see the dragons he heard about.>All he is interested in is seeing a fucking dragon.>Riding a fucking dragon.>Fucking a fucking dragon.>Celestia will do anything within her power to win his affection.>Even take him to see dragons
>>37886930>while others would grumble and bitch on the horsenet
>>37882651>congratulations, it's a healthy filleeeeEEEEEEEEE!
>>37886932Is celestia going to get cucked Please no
>>37887003You magnificent son of bitchmy SIDESAND MY HNNNG
>>37887003>search for image, no results foundOh shit nigger is this original content?
Do batpony fetuses EEEEEE as they approach 11 months like how a human fetus will kick? Because the mental image of Anon sleeping but his batpony wife laying wide awake because she's the only one who can hear the foal is funny to me.
>>37887003I will tell you what this is, It's fucking GLORIOUS!Thank you drawfriend, you are the real MVP!
>>37887032Clearly she's just going to turn into a Dragon.
>>37887003Fucking kek. Nice.
>>37884596*female minotaur with macho man voice*OOH YEAH, YOUR GONNA MILK THOSE TITTIES DRY!
>>37887003needs the foal covering it's ears
>>37887408I propose that every female minotaur sounds exactly like Macho Man Randy Savage. They even braid their arm-fur into tassels. Maybe not nearly as long as pic related, but they're there.
>>37887003nice. that made my day. thank you, anon
>>37887003Noice.>>37887082>>37887429>Batpone's start 'talking' in the womb.Kek, reminds me of the Kirin nightlights.
>>37887449>Kek, reminds me of the Kirin nightlights.
>>37887438I support this proposal
>>37887003Holy shit... thanks man, that looks sick!
>>37882530Just added some to bin 16, since you asked. It's just that there haven't been that many unique prompts. What I added constituted 1000 lines from over a period of about 45 days.
>>37885358"Have things really been that bad?" You ask, voice quiet.>Across the kitchen table where you spent nearly every meal of your childhood, your haggard mother smiles tiredly. "It's not bad exactly, honey. Just different.">Beside her, your father says nothing. Instead, his eyes are fixed on your alpha mare.>Silver Sable, unicorn Gunnery Sergeant of the Equestrian Royal Guard and the first love of your life, stares back at him unflinchingly. She doesn't shift an inch in her chair.>Things looked to be settling down in your life. Sable's contract with the guard ran it's course just two years ago, so she could retire and have the contraceptive charm on her lifted. It would have burned other alpha mares to give the privilege of the first foal to someone else in the herd, but you and her fell in love right at the beginning of her 5 year stint.>Pregnancy doesn't get you out of the guard. Not when you have to agree to be on magic contraceptives 24/7.>Sable endured it, though, and you endured only seeing her for a few weeks out of the year. Then she gave you the first colt of the herd exactly 11 months after she returned home. Little Sterling is an adorable, but tough cookie, one who takes after his mother.>The privilege of the first foal fell to Roseluck.>She was the mare you started dating after Sable urged you to find someone to fill the void she left, as awkward as that made you feel. You know now that herds are the norm, but at the time it felt like you were one of those cheating military spouses. Sable just clicked her tongue. “Nonsense. I know what we have is special,” She said. “It can endure.”1/5
>>37887623>Rosey... If Sable loved you for being similar to a mare, then Roseluck loved you for being so different from a colt. She was harassed because she wasn't seen as marely, but the hecklers changed their tune pretty quick when you began dating her.>And although meek, she didn't hesitate to give you five beautiful fillies with the pride and ease only a pureblooded earth pony could. Orchid, Iris, and Zinnia were triplets, while Marigold and Bluebelle were twins. Such a display of fertility cowed everyone who looked down upon her... And probably gave a few gray hairs to Cheerilee, since she's got 5 hellion fillies with human blood in her class. That's not even counting the next 3.>Finally your 3rd mare, Starry Sky.>Starry was a young batpony down on her luck. After her mother's herd suffered an ugly break, she was left adrift at the age of 17. Not quite a child, but not yet an adult. Feeling sympathy for her, you invited her into your home with Rosy, who was in the last months of her pregnancy with the triplets at the time.>Starry was a doll and even eased Roseluck's suspicions after a while.>When the foals were born, Starry made herself useful as a live-in nanny and babysitter. She watched the foals when you and Rosy couldn't, cared for them when your inexperience with parenting stretched you thin, and learned the ins and outs of domestic life with you.2/5
>>37887627>Well, when the young batmare saw how fulfilled Roseluck was, how genuine your care for her as a stray was, and after hearing you and Roseluck have "fun" long into the night, she was too far in to leave now.>A favor with Rainbow Dash later, and Starry was on the Weather Team nightshift. She saved every bit she could to buy you a gift and nervously asked Sable during one of her rare visits to join.>Starry was pregnant 3 weeks later, then again, then again. For a mare both young and petite, her first foal was trying and she needed help from you, Roseluck, and sometimes Sable via letter. Starry Jr, Screech, and Umbra are the names of the 3 little bats. >Three loving mares, nine foals you'd die for, yes indeed it looked like an idyllic happily ever after was in the cards for you.>Then Twilight, the local alicorn, gleefully said she found a way back to earth.>Bless her efforts, but Equestria is your home now. >...But maybe you could visit. It's been almost 10 years. Everyone might like some closure... Dare you confront the past?>Well, you're here now.>And it's... something."Mom," you begin patiently. "You're telling me that this shit has been going on for how many years and it's not 'bad' just 'different'?">"Anon, things are rough outside..." Oh God above Mom seems to age a little more. "We're just going to have to weather it like everyone else.">If there is one thing you've been dreading, its the culture clash between your families.>You weren't the most politically savvy when you found yourself in Equestria shortly after your 21st birthday, but you could see the common leanings of most people, mostly the ones in your somewhat liberal family.3/5
>>37887632>And Equestria, despite its polygamous culture and willingness to tolerate new schools of thought, is a paradoxically conservative nation with hard lines on what is and isn't okay. It's been such for hundreds of years.>You silently place a hand on Sable's hoof under the table, making her break her uneasy staring contest with Dad to look at you with displeasure.>When you asked how your brother and sister were doing?>Your brother's marriage went up in smoke when he came back home to find his best friend in bed with his wife. Said wife divorced him and claimed he was abusive, killing his social life and draining his wallet to support a child that isn't his.>The poor guy is down in the basement currently, sleeping off another night of drinking.>Your sister?>Working a deadend job as a waitress after her degree failed to get her foot in the door anywhere.>Between that and blaming an oppressive system out to bring her and other women low, she's been... Indulging herself in male company.>Sable didn't miss the Planned Parenthood pamphlet stuck to the fridge with a magnet, and you didn't miss the look of revulsion on her muzzle. If the news of the betrayal from the sister-in-law that you never knew didn't sour Sable's attitude on earth, then the pamphlet did. Already you fear is that any attempt to bring your family together is doomed to fail.4/5
>>37887639>"Anon, things are stressful for everyone." Mom takes a deep breath. "After you...left, no one was really doing well. There was just so much that everyone turned to different coping methods, and they just sort of stuck.">Sable's eyes narrow, and you squeeze her hoof, but she speaks anyway. "Are you blaming Anon for all these problems?" Sable asks, her tone dangerous and her eyes narrow.>"Hey," Dad's gravelly voice finally breaks his silence. "Don't you take that tone with my wife. After barging in and giving everyone a heart attack, then saying you've been in a magical pony land for all these years and worrying everyone sick, I think we're owed some respect." He sniffs and rolls his lips, an old habit that persists now even after a decade since his last cigarette. "And really, Anon. An animal?">Now it's your turn to have your temper flare."Don't..." You point a finger at your father "YOU take THAT tone with MY wife. I didn't come here to get shit talked. We could have stayed home and not broken the happy illusion that everything was swell here, but here we are.">Your father's face screws itself up into offense. "If you're going to be like that, then maybe you SHOULD have stayed then, you little shit!">Sable rises with a scowl, her horn glowing slightly.>"Boys, please!" Your mother jumps up too and pushes both you and your father back down into your chairs. "Please don't fight! Not when... Not when my baby has finally come home." She looks perilously close to tears.>Sable looks at her with a furrowed brow and you just sigh.>From the basement door, you hear footsteps making their way up, and brace yourself for the shitstorm to build into a shit hurricane.5/5
>>37887642Ending on a cliffhanger like that? Come on, anon, don't be so cruelhouse!
>>37887642Why the cliffhanger?Also, Anon needs to grow a fucking spine and tell his father off, then return to Equestria, this is just asking for a violent escalation. This clown world sucks so much...
>>37887710>Also, Anon needs to grow a fucking spine and tell his father off>"Don't..." You point a finger at your father "YOU take THAT tone with MY wife. I didn't come here to get shit talked. We could have stayed home and not broken the happy illusion that everything was swell here, but here we are."maybe read the greentext first mkay
>>37887642Nicely done, I hope you continue. Is this going to end with Anon and his wife leaving and 1+ relative(s) enjoying horseshoe-shaped bruises on their ribs?
>>37887003AHAHAHHAHAHquality post here, thanks anon
>>37887737On one hand, I usually have A LOT of dirty laundry that I have to do at a time so a horn-job to just have somepony do it all for me would be pretty damn cheap.On the other, Rara probably sniffed my pantsu while nopony was looking and mayhaps has stolen a pair...
>>37885358Tell her to close it immediately and destroy all knowledge of how to make such a portal.
>>37887642>mom isn't fighting to get through the portal to spoil her 9 grandkidsDisbelief cannot be suspended this much. My mom became everyone's idea of an ideal grandma as soon as my brother had kids. Straight up baking cookies and spoiling my niece and nephew when they visit grandma.
>>37887732I wrote that because the following lines show just how much he puts up with, instead of just fucking up and leave when he's shittalked this much by his father.Reading comprehension, you heard of that?
>>37887642Hot damn, this is a good green, anon! Hope to read more after that cliffhanger.
>>37886932>>All he is interested in is seeing a fucking dragon.>>Riding a fucking dragon.>>Fucking a fucking dragon.incredibly based
>>37887642Anon's got a shitty family here if the only thing they have to say about finding out their missing son is alive, well, happily married with a big family is to express distaste and contempt for it.
>>37887824This. If Anon's family were really like that he wouldn't have any interest in seeing them again, let alone introducing them to his family.
>>37887627>Orchid, Iris, and Zinnia were triplets, while Marigold and Bluebellecute names
>>37887824Sounds like a typical modern liberal family. Success and happiness is frowned upon unless everyone has the same level of success and happiness. And even then jealousy sneaks in to ruin it.
>>37887767She's probably still horribly conflicted that her grandkids will look like barn animals, at least in her eyes.
>>37887874Too early. Fuck off early thread fag
>>37887874Legitimately what the duck anon, there's over a hundred posts left>Captcha G5 J0B
>>37887642I choose to believe there is a teary reunion between brothers and an offer to follow Anon to Equestria to escape his unjust and spiraling out of control life is taken.
>>37887874Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to give me a bad name!
>>37887874We're not doing a new before we've even got 400 replies.
>>37887874we are not even in the 400s fake early thread anon
>>37887855I imagine there's an adjustment period before the eventual acceptance. If your kid came home with a squid monster from Romulan VI and said "This alien is the mother of my children", your initial reaction probably wouldn't be "that's lovely, how do you do, when can I meet my grandkids". When he first got to Equestria, Anon probably had a few months of adjusting to his new life before coming to the conclusion that it's okay to fuck this alien horse.
>>37887642You're gonna do more rightYou're not just gonna leave it on a cliffhanger right
>>37887874Your heart's in the right place.
>>37886394>>Prince Anon is disney-princess tier when it comes to animals.Going that route is just begging for Fluttershy to get involved.
>>37887911>If your kid came home with a squid monster from Romulan VI and said "This alien is the mother of my children", your initial reaction probably wouldn't be "that's lovely, how do you do, when can I meet my grandkids">son managed to bang and marry an ayylien chick>your descendants are going to roam the stars for countless millenniaNice.
>>37887874You even have a story as the image name, what the hell? I make the early threads so we don't have to use the Cheerimac image and to show off the OC we get, and this is how you repay me? You come into my house on the day my son is to be married, and disrespect me like this?
>>37884801Really REALLY strong mineral water.
>>37887920Anon is banned from the Royal Zoo without extensive Guards due to sneaking into the pens to play with the baby animals
>>37887941>You come into my house on the day my son is to be married, and disrespect me like this?>ywn nervously ask for a favor from a mare with a scraggly voice >ywn regret not calling her "godmother" when you greet her >ywn agree to the favor on the terms that she may ask one from you one day in the future, even though that day may never come
>>37887920Fluttershy is going to steal away Celestia's baby boyBetter watch her back
>>37887920>>37887946>>Anon is banned from the Royal Zoo without extensive Guards due to sneaking into the pens to play with the baby animals.>If Prince Anon does somehow sneak his way into a pen, the Guard have to call upon Fluttershy if the animal is particularly dangerous or stubborn headed.>They have no idea why the hell an Ursa MAJOR was letting him play with her cub but Fluttershy could definitely tell him that playtime was over.>"...if...if he didn't mind..." >Still needs those confidence lessons though...
>>37887920>>37887946>>37887955>It's the gala but instead of trying to go directly to the gardens she tries to talk to Prince Anon.>Rarity runs interference / goes for her own prince in Blueblood.>Twilight is putting in a good word for her while they're greeting guests with the Princess (Totally forgotten about because of her own problems, whoops.)>Rainbow is over there trying to impress the wonderbolts.>Pinkie is enjoying the party.>Applejack is helping rarity, or selling food at a party, the later seems dumb though so surely it's the former.>All Fluttershy has to do is walk across the ballroom floor and talk to him.>Yep, just walk right on over, in front of the most important ponies of canterlot, in front of his mother too, and say Hello.>N-no pressure.
>>37887981>Ursa Major>royal zooThat's one fucking giant ass zoo. It's gotta be like half the size of Canterlot.
>>37885821had this rather bad habit of being rather "excitable". Flurry have ADHD confirmed
>>37885821>>37887920>Be Flurry Heart>You and Anon finally get away from those stuck up, no fun allowed guards>But most important you found the entrance to the ursa cave>According with your friend, she was very very pregnant a few months ago >And now, by your calculations, that means little cute star puppies that will make anon go all soft and heart eyes>The perfect opportunity to throw that killer one line that you heard mom uses on dad>As both of you go deep in the cave you taunt anon, using your magic to make scary sounds when you start hearing somepone… singing ?>No way somepony else would be here before you! This will throw the whole plan out the window!>Closing in to the den you get a good look of a yeallow pegasi examining the ursa and the cubs>She looks so familiar>Wait a minute, you think you know her…>”FLUTTERS!”>Anon just towards her and hugged one of the cubs
>>37885821DESU a whole story could be told about the guardmares tasked with the duty of protecting Celestia's son.From Anon himself to the 'Dawn of Flurry Hearts visit'. Those mares are gonna have a lot of stories to tell.
>"Hey Anon! I perfected a new spell! Wanna see it?">Turning around you find Twilight smiling up at you"Sure Purplesmart. Whats it do?">She gets a devilish grin on her face>"YOU HEARD HIM CONSENT EVERYONE!">She shouts to the mares around you>A sudden feeling of dread fills you as her horn lights up and the spell washes over you>In a panic you grab her by her front legs and bring her up to your face"TWILIGHT WHAT DID YOU JUST DO TO ME!?">"Nothing harmful Anon. I just used a spell on you that should make you express your inner feelings through the magic of song.">The fear pulls back as you realize she wasnt turning you into a pony or something even worse>Fucking TF fags>The wave of relief pulls back as you hear the very familiar wailing of a guitar>You dont even have time to curse before your mouth opens as the song pours from it against your willhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWgltXN_S-4[Open]>Every mare within earshot is watching you intently>As you spill your proverbial guts about your hidden perversion>Wings and tails raise to the sky as you belt out your desire to fuck>Finally the song as over and you stand there panting>The silence filling the town was broken by Rainbow Dash>"I told you that your spell didnt work. He just same the same song you did when you cast it on yourself Twi.">You meet eyes with the Purple Princess and you would swear that her pupils were shaped like hearts at that very moment
Guess who isn't dead? It took way longer than I wanted it to due to life getting way more turbulent this month (Though not completely in bad ways) But the new update for Tuftbeard Flurry is at last complete. Enjoy guys!>Be the Princess of Tuftbeards.>Good Celestia that was HUMILIATING!>Sure, you got those ear scratches he's so good at, but at the same time?>You REALLY didn't want to take a bath.>Much less be forced to and bathed by somepony else as well.>Even if it IS your monkeyhusband.>To make matters worse, the water burned and stung when you went in.>You also got really upset again and started screaming at him.>And do you even TELL him about what happened at the lake when you were younger?>No. Not right now.>Maybe not ever.>A big, strong, marely mare like yourself can't be found to be afraid of water!>Still shaken up about the whole ordeal despite your reward, you go back to your computer for some much needed HHO.>Right now Anon is taking the sheets off your bed and carrying them away while wearing a clothespin on his nose.>You didn't smell THAT bad!>...Right?>He also grabbed your hoodie as well to clean.>Buck, you wanted to put that back on.>Oh well, you turn back to HHO and see somepony familiar on your friends list.>Wait, is that...>No way...she's back!>You pull up Harmony and see that she's in the voice chat.>You jump in and start talking."Whoa, D1ckD3str0y3r? You're back! Got tired of Oldschool SigilPlane, huh?">She hasn't been playing HHO for a while so never bothered to VC.>You don't know why she didn't just come to hang out, but you heard she has pretty bad autism or something.>"Yep, I wanted to get back to my roots and play with you girls again. It's been a while so I'll probably be a bit rusty.">Rusty is right, she hasn't played for MONTHS."That's alright, I'll go over all the changes they've made while you were gone. The good, the bad, and the absolutely terrible! More of the latter if I'm completely honest with you.">She laughs at hearing this.>" Hahaha! Some things never change! So how've you been, Crystal Storm?”>Looks like you can't avoid the elephant in the room any longer.>Or perhaps you should say monkey."So I think I actually got married while you were away! It surprised me too at first, but see my new husband is from this foreign land. He did this thing with my ears and I'm 90% sure that in his culture he was marrying me!”>Can't let them know the local alien is your husband. >You've kept your true identity as a princess from them for all these years. >It's a whole can of worms you REALLY don't want to open right now.>"Damn, nice! Well, you know your good ol' pal Floor Bored is swimming in dick as usual! The stallions still can't keep themselves off me!>That was a lie and you know it. >'D1CKD3STR0Y3R' aka Floor Bored is as autistic as they come, even more so than you or your aunt.
>>37888312>One of the other members of your platoon, Palemoon69, even told you that Floor gets neetbux from the crown because she can't hold down a job.>Though truthfully, so does she.>You do as well, at least in the form of GFP.>"Say, do you plan on having a ceremony? You know how stallions get, wanting their ‘special day’ and all.">Ah Tartarus, that's right!"Not yet! But you know I got a HUGE event planned for my stallion!”>No you don’t.>How in Equestria could you have forgotten the most important day of a stallion’s life?!>”Ah, cool. When you get it planned make sure to invite us, I love cake about as much as the princess does! Hahaha!”>Aunt Celestia!>How would SHE even feel about any of this?>She’s pretty old-fashioned, albeit less so than Aunt Luna.>Would she think you took advantage of him?>Would she laugh and congratulate you on your catch after giving you a proud hoofslap on the withers?>What about Aunt Luna?>Would she want to burn him as a warlock that put a charm spell on you or something?>You don’t know, and right now you don’t have time for these worries.“Sure thing, but enough of that, let’s kill some alien scum while I tell you all that’s happened while you were away!”>You can worry about talking with Anon about these plans for tomorrow.>For now, it’s time to catch up with an old friend. >Be Anonymous.>The rest of the day was rather uneventful after Flurry’s bath.>Save for washing her bedsheets and hoodie.>You had a good mind to just burn them if you didn’t think Flurry would fling you through a wall for it.>There was also Cadence.>She looked kinda rough at dinner and was shaking a bit.>When you asked she just told you that she was feeling a little under the weather is all.>Complete with her eye twitching>In all honesty ‘A little under the weather’ is an understatement; She looked terrible.>But for now though, something important has just occurred.>It’s here!>The costumes arrived just now along with some of your old stuff from Ponyville.>You’ll put away your belongings later, you open one of the trunks and find a blue armor with “Crystal Storm” etched onto it.>Nope that would be Flurry’s.>You open the other trunk to see a jet black armor with plenty of spikes on it.>Yep, this is it.>You take the helmet and put it on in front of the mirror.“Whoa, this is co-”>You pause after hearing the deep, evil sounding voice coming from the helmet being different from your own."No way! Twilight and Rarity put a VOICE CHANGER in this?">You take off the helmet and see some kind of crystal in the mouthpiece.>They really outdid themselves on this one.>You try on the rest of the costume and check it out.>”No Crystal Storm, I expect you to die!”>This is going to be so cool!>You take the costume off and head to Flurry’s room.
>>37888322>The noxious smell of a tuftbeard’s lair is now a lot less severe than before thanks to her bath, which your nose thanks you for.>She sees you and mutes her mic.“Hey Flurry, remember that surprise I was telling you about? It came! Follow me!”>Excited, she jumps up from her chair and follows you into your room.>She hesitates a bit to walk in, presumably still shaken up about the bath yesterday.“Alright, take this trunk and head down to the guard training room. We’ll be using the stuff inside of it to play around a bit.”>She picks it up with her magic with no issue.>”A little heavier than I expected. What exactly are in these?”>Can't ruin the surprise here at the end."You'll see when we get there, c'mon!">You lead her out of your room and to the staircase.>You start down stairs with Flurry following behind.>After reaching the bottom of the stairs you notice she isn't behind you like she was a second ago.>You raise your head up a bit and see her stopped half-way down.>”*huff* *huff* G-Give me...haaaa...give me a second!">She's out of breath already?>It seems that years of her sedentary lifestyle put her so out of shape that even her being an alicorn couldn’t compensate."You're already getting winded? These stairs aren't even that long Flurry!">She shoots you a glance between her heavy breathing>"Sh-huh...Shut up Anon! I'm...*huff*...I'm almost ready!">After a solid 5 or 10 minutes of this with the other flights of stairs you at last make it to the guard training room.>Poor Flurry was out of breath and drenched in sweat before you even made it there.>That horse needs some exercise, but thankfully what you have planned will provide some.>You both enter the respective locker rooms and begin changing into your costumes. >Be Flurry again, albeit rather early.>After catching your breath from the hike that colt put you on, you open the trunk to see what the big deal is.>Inside you see a blue armor that has a familiar symbol.“Oh my Celestia, no way!”>Feeling like a fat filly in a candy store, you excitedly put on the armor.>Where did he get this? >HOW did he get this?>You thought he didn’t know shit about HHO, but apparently you were WAY off.>He probably wants to do some flowery romantic shit with this though, so best not get your hopes up too much.>After putting on your armor and grabbing your chainblade and boltbow, you head outside.>You wait around for a good 5 minutes before getting impatient."Anon, are you ready yet? I don't have all da-">Suddenly a bipedal figure clad top to bottom in black armor kicks the door of the stallion's locker room open.>You notice the design to be of a Dark Legion space mareine, though adapted to his bipedal form.>"Well well well, look at what we have here! If it isn't Captain Crystal Storm of the Ubermareines!">His voice sounds deeper and way more evil.>Muh clit>I mean, DAMN filly, you're gonna need him to wear THAT to bed.
>>37888325>Once you've defeated him in combat that is.>...Though space mareines are traditionally all mares.>D-does this make you a...dyke?>"I have come forth from The Maw of Horror to put an end to your worthless "heroism"! Our allies lay dead around us, and only we remain! And only one shall leave!">He pulls out his boltbow, and you ready yours as well.>"The dark goddesses demand your death, and I shall be the one to fulfill their will!">This is....>SO COOL!>He aims his boltbow at you, and you follow suit by aiming at him.>He fires off a styrofoam bolt, which you manage to dodge.>You fire one back at him, which he side-steps.>The two of you continue firing and dodging, with a bolt or two occasionally clipping one of you.>All this ducking and dodging is getting you winded again.>His latest bolt manages to clip your wing.>You know what? Buck this!>You bring your chainblade out and charge at the big armor-clad ape.>Probably a lot less graceful than you wanted given that your lungs are on fire right now.>Unfortunately, this gave Anon enough time to bring out his own and to parry.>The plastic teeth of each one jams the other as the both of you try to overpower each other, creating a whirring sound as they try to keep running.>"Is this truly the best the Ubermareines have to offer? Pathetic! I shall give your head to Bharne for her skull throne! Your dying screams shall be music to the ears of Vareesh! Your corpse will be a factory for Ishura's pestilence! And your end shall fulfill another of W'zaanth's many schemes! >He knows more lore than you initially thought.>Way more.>"They shall surely grant me daemonhood for bringing about your end!">No. Not today, Nightmare!>You fight through the pain and exhaustion to fight back even harder.>The sudden increase in force causes your foe to be pushed back and break from his attack.>You scream as you charge with your chainblade."For the Empress! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!">Your battlecry echoes loudly throughout the training room.>That is, until Anon agilely steps to the side and slams his chainblade HARD into the back of your armor, ending your life.>At least in this pretend battle.>You fall to the floor as an evil laugh emanates from his helmet.>"MwahahaHAHAHAHA!! With this victory the Ubermareines, and the rest of the False Empress' sycophants shall fall before the might of DISORDER! HAHAHAHAHA!!!">Damn it.>Anon takes of his mask and walks over to you"You ok Flurry? I didn't rough you up too much did I?">It was a blast, but...>Beaten by a stallion…>The girls would NEVER let you live this down if they found out!>This sucks so hard.https://ponepaste.org/5663Update began at line 895.Hope you guys enjoyed the update and that it was worth the way longer than planned wait. Hopefully soon I can return to making frequent updates again, but until next time /RGRE/!
>>37888312>Guess who isn't dead?Is it LaP? I really hope it's LaP.
>>37888333Ayyyy! Happy to see you're back, I was worried all the writefags left us
>>37888333And a glorious return it is! Thanks for coming back, writefriend
>>37888333Very, very nice. Excellent
>>37888333Oh my, oh my GOODNESS!Fucking fantastic, it's everything I've been waiting for and more!>double trips>Floorb>actual, fully customed fight between Anon and Flurry>Flurry gaining determination to better herself on her own volitionThank you writefren, this made my evening! And welcome back to the land of the living!
>>37876685>Fauster's Story ArchiveI so wish it had "date first added" and "last edited" columns as well; I was away for 2 years and now I don't know what I missed.
>>37888573The ones at the top of the story archive are the oldest ones added, while the ones at the bottom are the most recent. Just work your way up from bottom to top until you see shit that looks familiar
>>37888333holy fuck what is this incredible piece of literature and how have I never seen it before???though, likely explanation being I just stumbled on this board like two days ago, but this is definitely good shit right here!
>>37882286Damn, Anon. That's solid.>Twilight and Anon meet>Twilight now knows they're each other's soulmates, since they share the same heartsong>She also knows that Anonicorn knew all along that they shared the same heartsong>With the same melody as their heartsong—Twilight (in a painful solo) curses Anonicorn for making fun of her all these years, for just seeing her as "Spergity," asking what she did to deserve being shunned by her soulmate. >Twilight—in tears—ends the song wishing that they had never shared the same heartsong in the first place>Anonicorn is speechless>But as Twilight tries to slowly trot away, Anonicorn begins to gently sing his own solo>Anonicorn sings about how petty he was, how jealous he was of Twilight from the very beginning, how increasingly jealous he became as Twilight became an Harmony-Bearer>"You'll be remembered...I won't.">"After all, I am just...the Prince of Nothing.">Anonicorn starts to walk away after that, but Twilight stops him—and with a smile, Twilight starts to sing. About the funny moments they had together, the pranks they pulled on Celestia, the good moments they shared>Anonicorn—stuttering—responds with a solo asking how Twilight could ever forgive him>"Because that's what best friends* do...and you're my soulmate...and I'm yours...dummy."* Sometimes, I wonder if Twilight and Cadence actually have jurisdictional overlap over soulmates considering the relationship involves both intense romantic love (eros) and friendship (philia).
>>37887003What's particularly cute is how serious looking the pone "drawing" the ultrasound is.
>>37888338OMG LAP?! WHERE?!?!
>>37888868A LAP JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSEWTF
>>37888701Welcome, newfriend. I hope you will enjoy it here, but be warned:The thread's been called RGREEEE before for a very good reason.
>>37888701Do what this faggot said >>37884923 and lurk more
>>37888923Thank you for the welcome! Honestly I'm rather new to 4-chan as a whole so its been an interesting experience...The amount of racial slurs and derogatory terms have been a bit of a shock to me, as well as the fact that people seem regularly interact with the trolls or people who are trying to start fights/stir up hate rather than ignore them...But other than that its been a rather interesting experience, the greens and adorable pictures I've been seeing crop up here and there have been wonderful!
>>37889013Now that's what we in the business call a bazinga. Or a baznigger, if you will.
>>37889006>people seem regularly interact with the trolls or people who are trying to start fights/stir up hate rather than ignore them>newfag is more intelligent than 99% of posters
>>37889018But where's the fun in being anonymous when you avoid starting shit? That's the whole point of this site, lack of consequence to being a retard
>>37889018I like that picture.I gotta start gathering reaction images for when I make basic posts now so they seem more interesting...
>>37889016>bazniggerWhy not go even deeper?>bazdmeg is the Hungarian equivalent of 'fuck you'A little language lesson for the evening, eh?
>>37889006The shock wears off fast and the novelty of people taking the bait gets old quick. Welcome to the thread newfriend. Here's some bins to start you off with if you haven't already been going through Fauster's archive.https://ponepaste.org/user/analpluganonhttps://ponepaste.org/user/E4-NGhttps://ponepaste.org/user/ComfysPlacehttps://ponepaste.org/user/Uh-hmmmhttps://ponepaste.org/user/Rhorsehttps://pastebin.com/u/lapsbinhttps://ponepaste.org/user/Satyrfaghttps://ponepaste.org/user/SQA-nonhttps://ponepaste.org/user/MrSkeltal
>>37889006If you decide to stick around with this thread you'll love and hate it in equal measure, who knows, maybe you'll make us like ziggers
>>37889114Thank you! I've been slowly taking a look at some of the stuff on ponepaste but never really had any idea on where to start so this is great!Only RGRE fic I even really know about atm is 'The Long and Short' of it, and I only stumbled on that by accident on FimFiction.
>>37889134I got a tablet but suck at drawing, maybe I should make shitposts of RGRE memes or something...
>>37887594>Bin 16Jesus, I remember when there were only 3 bins
>>37881205Mares be fuckin wild, yo.
>>37889114>>37889006to add onto that here's a link to some decent RGRE storieshttps://ponepaste.org/158https://ponepaste.org/4598https://ponepaste.org/4582https://pastebin.com/UF1nAURqhttps://pastebin.com/qM3C61jhwelcome our personal slice of hell
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/499685/preunification-anon Also here's preunifcation anon if you're fine with fimfiction>I got a tablet but suck at drawing, maybe I should make shitposts of RGRE memes or something...Go right ahead my man, we're always eager for some quality content
>>37889165>>37889145 And my dumbass forgot to reply to you, fml
>>37881205and this shows that no matter the dimension, all mares are potential rapists and no male should never be alone with one
>>37889148>>37889165>Go right ahead my man, we're always eager for some quality content>always eager for some quality content>quality contentyou failed the moment you assumed that I have talent(best I can do sleep deprived in 20 minutes)
>>37889159>>37889165All seriousness though, thanks for the bin links, anons!Unable to sample everything atm but the next chance I get I know what I'll be sifting through when I'm bored.
>>37887844>Sounds like a typical modern liberal family.Sorry you weren't invited to Thanksgiving, Anon. Maybe if you get the jab by Christmas they'll let you join in as long as you don't start screeching about jews.
Did anything happen with that "Glimmer accidentally casts a mind reading spell and has to listen to Anon talking about how much he wants to fuck ponies" prompt?Imagine them in a conversation while Anon's simultaneously thinking>a girl like Glimmy just needs a good dicking to set her straight>I wonder if she kept her crazy villainess sex after she reformed>maybe her still having crazy villainess sex would be a sign that she wasn't really reformed but was just pretending>maybe she kept the crazy villainess sex because she's poochie and she gets to have her cake and eat it too>I wonder if she'd be into getting her ponut eaten>is she as much of a sperg in bed>would she do anything if I just smacked her ass>would she get clingy just from fucking onceAnd she has to try to keep a straight face the whole time.Or maybe she doesn't and Anon somehow finds out that she's reading his mind.
>>37889247compared to the stick figures we get sometime, you're already doing good lmao
>>37889282Jab?5th booster*ftfy https://www.cbsnews.com/video/full-interview-dr-anthony-fauci-looks-back-on-covid-19-response/
>>37889283Imma jump on this post and kinda give my own idea here: I don't think he'd realize she was reading his mind because I believe human minds would be way too chaotic for Ponies to try and read. Maybe on baselevel, an Anon would be thinking about the conversation but you know damn well most of us have something running in the background whether it'd be tame, weird as shit, Intrusive/Call to The Void as hell or some other random crap. So, unless the mind reading is literally only searching for sex thoughts (because a pony's mind might be simpler and she only would need what amounts to a "Ctrl-F" Spell), she'd probably have to keep a straight face while listening in on Mambo Number 5 while the sounds of a train whistle go off and someone screams "CHEEKI BREEKI".That's a fun idea I have sometimes at the very least. Just "Imma assume this creature's thoughts will align with what I know" and immediate regret.
>>37889283>In-between deafening white noise, random thoughts of violence and sex, dread so powerful she can't actually parse it, a desperate need to remember a song he heard 6 years ago, and an overly dramatic narration of his breakfast that morning, Glimmer sees something else in Anon's head.>For about seven seconds, he wonders what his and Starlight's foals would look like if they had some, and thinks Starlight would be rather beautiful as a mother. His mind conjures a hazy image of a little foal that he and a smiling Starlight are holding in a family photo.>Then the colty moment passes and he goes back to pondering about ponuts.
>>37889395Talk about monkeys and typewriters, amirite?
>>37889395>human mind goes thorugh multiples thought phases>anxiety/ existential dread>sexual thoughts and violent thoughts>sexually violent thoughts>wholesome thoughts about petting cute ponies>now cycles back into anxiety because anon just made himself sad when he started thinking about he'll never be a good dad
>>37885358Ask Twiggy if she can do a one-way summoning spell on my father, if he's still alive, and collapse the portal afterwards.Bonus points if she can explosively gib my mother in the process.
>>37889006Celestia, is that you?
>>37888764So, to sum the song up:>~"A-non, why are you such an ass-hoooole?~""~Be-cause I have iss-ues.~">"~-And apparently that makes it okay!~""~-And apparently that makes it okay!~"
>>37889869Didn't Twilight make fun of Anon and thought his rune-magic was a waste of time or was that green a different one all together?Let's not forget the fact that she also had him do "favors" every time he needed resources for his work?
are marecels as dangerous as our incels?
>>37889992well they're ponies, so the vast majority don't want to hurt anyone, but the few that do have magic and just become straight up villainsso less danger overall but with higher spikes
>>37890090beta-mare uprising when?
>>37889976The 'favors' thing is a retarded take that Twilight would only say as a way to make Anon back off, and them immediately back pedel on if he actually was willing to debase himself like that for his work.Kind of 'i dont think its worth it, but you obviously do so i'll help you as a friend' thing.Fits more her character than fucking anon in exchange for magic doodads.
>>37890190Imagine midway through the heartsong, Anon indirectly references that favor incident through flowery lyricsSome of the night guards listening in might piece something together and come to exaggerated conclusions
>Be Anon>Have a wonderful family>One day your daughter eats some meat from your plate before you can stop her>Take her to the hospital because you know what meat does to a pony's biology>Find out that she inherited more from you than you originally thought>Be glad to finally have someone you can pass down all your recipes and knowledge to
>The lower gravity and cartoon physics of Equestria essentially make Anon superhuman>Once he finds this out he goes around doing all the dumb shit he's always wanted to do, but was too much of a pussy to actually try>Cue mares being terrified when they see Anon getting into dangerous situations and then losing their shit when he twists a hydra into a pretzel with his bare fists
>>37888764Spergity is Rarity, not Twiggy-piggy.
>>37889282Be nice Anon, he thinks there's aliens inside of it. You're scaring him.
>>37889395>Glimmer is stilled tuned into Anon's thoughts as she bends over and picks something up off of the ground.>She gets treated to a graphic image of hands squeezing her cutie marks, her rump rippling as his hips smack into hers, and a detailed imaginary x-ray of a dick making a seal with her cervix before busting.>The sheer lewd overload nearly makes her flag her tail.
>>37890418Shhh, let it slide
>>37890513>Glimmer was so flustered that she look feverish>Lost in lewdness, she barely notice Anon approaching her>When he laid his hand on her forehead to check the temperature she snapped, all at once>Anon only heard a loud squeak before seeing glimmer faint, collapsing in a small puddle
>>37890418>Twilight's always had a 'healthy' appetite, even as a little filly.>Anonicorn hears some of his class mates in magic kindegarten calling her twiggy piggy during lunchtime.>Mentions to them that his mom told him that lots of magic needs lots of 'cal-or-eee's' ('Calories' twilght notes absently) and it's why he and his mom aren't allowed to share his special lunches as they might make a regular pony very sick.>Points to his mom eating her own lunch at her desk.>Seeing her son watching she gives him a wave before starting her dessert.>[Kirby inhaling noise]>Anon pouts a little, saying he still hasnt got the hang of that trick.>Turns back to his shocked classmates as they watch the Princess daintly dab her mouth with a napkin, mentions he could ask his mom if Twilight needs to get the same special lunches.>Twilight immediately begs yes with hero worship in her eyes at the idea of sharing meals with her teacher and idol, subconsciously shifting Anons place in her head from 'peer associated with the princess' to 'helpful like her brother'
> Be Anon, going to the police> The officer is distinctly unsympathetic> "And what did she make you do, sir?"> You sit in the chair, staring at your hands"She made me stand still as she molested my butt."> The officer raises her eyebrow> "Is that all?"> You glare at her"The entire train ride. I felt so dirty, so used. And she called me filthy names the whole time."> The officer sighs> "Do you have a marefriend?"> You have a sinking feeling "That doesn't matter! I was mind controlled and molested!"> She actually laughs> Laughs!> "That's cute. Tartarus, colt, most ponies have been made to give oral by your age, not to mention mares stealing seed from stallions. Must be a real soft world, where you come from."> You can't believe what you are hearing> How can something as terrible as mind control be so common that the police just shrug it off?> You stand up, shaking your head"Fuck you, and fuck this place."> You stride to the door, violence brewing in your heart> "Stop."> The word is accompanied by a slimy feeling seeping into your head> You freeze, hand on the doorknob> Hoofsteps come up behind you, and a hoof squeezes your ass> "I can see why she did it, you have a nice body. Now, would you kindly go home quietly like the cute little colt you are?"> You seethe with impotent anger as your body carries out her instructions> You are not cute> You are not a little colt> You are a man!> A big, angry man! > Be officer Chips In, still reading Anonymous' mind> Even when he's angry, he's super adorable> You might just have to visit him every once in a while, just to see that cute little scowl
>>37890724how this is even remotely RGRE ?
>>37890724worst timeline of rgre
>>37890796>>37890805>>37890841Why you retards are giving (you)s to obvious troll ?
>>37890854Why is your dad a whore?
>>37890857Anon, at least I have a dad
>>37890854Lurk more faggot do you even know how to format a greentext?
>>37890796It's more RGR (females sexually harrass males in public transportation) than 80% of the greens here. What do you think RGR means exactly?(it rubs me a bit wrong also, but that's because of the quasi-free-sex-questria implication)
>>37890724>it's a poochy mind control episode but it's the whole of Equestria doing itA for effort, please never continue this.
>>37890957>cops dismiss male complaining about sexual harassment >It's more RGRhalf RGR isn't RGRE enough
>>37890724I don't get why people hate this so much.>>37891025You do know that that happens in real life too, right?
>>37891027Because this is wish fulfilment general and autistic people don't want to here about stories that hit so close to home.
>>37891027>You do know that that happens in real life too, right?only happen to woman in feminist propagandairl police throw the book at men at the flimsiest accusation from a woman
>>37891040Yes, but that wasn't always the case. Plenty of times reports of crimes, not just rapes, went more or less ignored for one reason or another.
>>37891025You're confusing media and (((progressives))) (who exaggerate or invent sexual harrasment, especially against a target they are ideologically opposed to) with cops (who are likely to downplay sexual harrasment; I suspect this is the case also in USA but in eg Eastern Europe this is definitely the case)
>>37891047> with cops (who are likely to downplay sexual harrasmentthey only downplay if the one making a complain is male, if it's a woman they will just arrest the guy she pointed, no matter how weak the accusation is
>>37891066Well. Again I don't really know first hand how it is in USA. I'm sure there are cultural differences between how these things work in different places. But I know from personal trustworthy contacts that here (in an unspecified Eastern European country) a female complaining of sexual harrassment gets quite readily told that it's either her fault or didn't happen.
>>37891073He just thinks that because it's that way in a lot of places now that it means it's always been that way everywhere.
Protip: It's best to leave progressive propaganda and feminist lens at the door on 4chan. If your greens don't reflect some understanding of how the world actually works for men and women, you're going to have a hard time writing RGRE. I don't mean this in an "omg we're all incels with soggy knees" sense, but in an "The world is not the progressive media bubble, and RGRE does not function if you have a warped understanding of how gender roles function to begin with" sense.
>>37891027>I don't get why people hate this so much.Because it's not about ponies going "woah"
>>37891082You are trying to say that USA is the sole bulwark in the world against progressive propaganda and feminist lens, yes? That's completely wrong, USA is one of the most (((progressive))) and feminist countries in the world. Only a few like Sweden are further in that direction.
>>37891171eh depends which part. The US is retardedly big and has enough distinct cultural centers to not all be lumped together. Down here no. troons and fat woman are openly mocked.